7 ms·

Forget Self-Improvement

263 points by karjaluoto 15y ago

ronnoles 15y ago
Let me get this straight. If you don't feel like doing something don't do it, even if it's good for you. Great. I'll start eating pizza three times a day, stop bathing, and jerk off more. I used to love HN, but this fake, new-age like philosophizing is getting pretty tired.
- adelevie 15y ago
  If it's that difficult for you to stop eating pizza etc., then perhaps you should think twice about the author's point.
- ttttannebaum 15y ago
  You don't seem to be getting the point; you do not, in fact, have it straight. The Point: people are usually good at things because they enjoy doing them. People succeed at "careers" or other "things-that-take-a-long-time-to-succeed-at" because they see at least part of it as not-work while others see it as tedious. Second of all, you think this is new-age? Have you seen zenhabits.net? You come off as angry and looking for an argument. The author clearly isn't talking about every action and behavior pattern you might enjoy/not enjoy. The author isn't asserting a new paradigm of behavioral philosophy. You've apparently been here for a while, you seem to have read the entire article, and yet you don't recognize the point through the context?
- nessus42 15y ago
  Great. I'll start eating pizza three times a day, stop bathing, and jerk off more While you seem to think that the OP is so obviously false that it shouldn't be said, I think that is so obviously true that it goes without saying. It just seems utterly obvious to me that the greatest things are achieved by people who are driven to achieve the goal. Though that drive my not be provided by love for the process. Sometimes the drive might be provided by obsession or compulsion or some other emotion. It also seems obvious to me that you can't just will yourself into having this sort of drive. Though, for all I know, there may be techniques (e.g., hypnosis?) that might help with developing drive, it seems clear that if there are such techniques, they are not uniformly known or effective. I certainly think that trying to develop discipline is something that is essential, but you're still going to have to have some innate drive too. Unlike you, I didn't see anything in the OP that says that you should just do anything that you love to do, all other consideration be damned. It only claimed that what you chose to do should be something that you love. As I said above, I would have thought this so obviously true as to go without saying.
- karjaluoto 15y ago
  Well, at least you have a plan. My only suggestion is that you do the "pizza eating" and "jerking off" independently.
- goblin89 15y ago
  Try it. Been there—after a short while you'll see that, in fact, you hate doing these things. It makes you feel sick, and nobody likes feeling sick. You'll learn that you actually like doing things that do good for you (it's not always obvious). Regarding the article, didn't really like it as well—I think its point is somewhat vague and unconvincing—‘universe trying to tell us something’… And I don't think it's as simple as ‘finding what you love’ (since questions like yours legitimately arise in response), it's more about learning to love what you do first. Enjoying the process should be of higher priority than the end goal—that's what it's about, I think.
lincolnq 15y ago
Interesting viewpoint. It does seem like the people who are naturally most driven are naturally more likely to succeed, because motivation is at the root of almost everything humans do wrong on a macro scale. So there's a reason that a lot of self-help is about trying to hack motivation. Is it working? Not yet, I don't think, but it seems like we might be on the cusp of it working. I guess your observation boils down to "we haven't figured out the best ways to hack motivation yet", which appears to be true. I guess the part that seems wrong is giving up on self-help because it usually doesn't work. I would argue not to give up on self-help, but instead to figure out self-help that actually works. The benefits are huge: instead of spending your life running because you love it so much, you instead hack yourself to love starting successful businesses. Not because being successful by itself is the goal, but because doing so is the best way to actually make the world a better place.
- karjaluoto 15y ago
  Precisely. There's no hack for motivation that's more effective than actually enjoying something. If you like it, you'll do it, and with time the rewards (often) increase. If what you're doing is good for you, you may introduce some positive habits. As an example, I hate going to the gym. It doesn't matter how much I should be going, I just hate it. The routine tasks, the big guys who grunt, the sweaty machines: gross! On the other hand, a mountain bike ride is so much fun that I don't even realize I'm getting exercise. I go back for the enjoyment, but I get the benefit of a workout.
  - doublerebel 15y ago
    Positive reinforcement and habit formation can make a big difference in whether or not something is viewed as enjoyable. From the same article as the Target pregnancy prediction[1]: Over the next four months, those participants who deliberately identified cues and rewards spent twice as much time exercising as their peers. Other studies have yielded similar results. According to another recent paper, if you want to start running in the morning, it’s essential that you choose a simple cue (like always putting on your sneakers before breakfast or leaving your running clothes next to your bed) and a clear reward (like a midday treat or even the sense of accomplishment that comes from ritually recording your miles in a log book). After a while, your brain will start anticipating that reward — craving the treat or the feeling of accomplishment — and there will be a measurable neurological impulse to lace up your jogging shoes each morning. [1] http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/19/magazine/shopping-habits.html http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/19/magazine/shopping-habits.h... (Credit due to this r/fitness post: http://www.reddit.com/r/Fitness/comments/ptn63/how_to_train_your_brain_to_commit_to_exercise_use/)* http://www.reddit.com/r/Fitness/comments/ptn63/how_to_train_...
adelevie 15y ago
Relevant to this discussion is pg's essay on "schlep blindness"[0]: > The most dangerous thing about our dislike of schleps is that much of it is unconscious. Your unconscious won't even let you see ideas that involve painful schleps. That's schlep blindness. Hone in on the schleps you typically avoid and be totally honest with yourself why you're not doing something. [0] http://paulgraham.com/schlep.html http://paulgraham.com/schlep.html
zipdog 15y ago
There's a lot to be said for habit for making tasks happen that are hard to motivate. If you can spend a week consciously putting on running shoes every morning before breakfast, then it gets easier to do it on other days. Key to this is to break it down. Instead of a task being a single behemoth (run 5km), it should be a series of small steps that by themselves are easier to take (put on shoes by the bed), each leading onto the other.
- karjaluoto 15y ago
  I agree. Creating habits and reducing obstacles makes a huge difference. For some time, I just stopped buying bus passes, which "forced me" to walk to work. The nice part was that I was able to listen to podcasts on my walk, and this resulted in a really nice way to start my day. (It's a pity it got so rainy.)
- zalyh 15y ago
  I usually run 5km every other day. What I did was to tell myself that if I don't want to run, I could always just walk and listen to my mp3 player. That helps alleviate the pressure which would otherwise have made it impossible for me to put on my running shoes.
coffeemug 15y ago
When I was starting my company, I had to cold-call a few dozen people to test a hypothesis. I delayed it for weeks, and when I finally forced myself to pick up the phone, I dreaded dialing every digit. Today, three years into running the company, picking up the phone to call a dozen people is peanuts. I don't like doing it, I'm not very good at it, I delegate it whenever I can, but if call I must, I'll do it, I'll be efficient at it, and I'll get results. Saying "you didn't do it because you weren't meant to" is nonsense. Get your act together, stop making excuses for yourself, and do the uncomfortable thing that must be done, even if you lose sleep over it. If you do it long enough, it will seize being uncomfortable and become second nature. Shakespeare said it best through Hamlet: Assume a virtue, if you have it not. That monster, custom, who all sense doth eat, Of habits devil, is angel yet in this, That to the use of actions fair and good He likewise gives a frock or livery, That aptly is put on. Refrain to-night; And that shall lend a kind of easiness To the next abstinence: the next more easy; For use almost can change the stamp of nature, And master ev’n the devil or throw him out With wondrous potency.
- karjaluoto 15y ago
  The argument isn't one of never doing unpleasant things. (I don't like changing the oil on my car, but I know it needs to be done.) Instead, I suggest examining why a desire seems important, and whether it might be more of a societal (or ego-driven) thing. Additionally, I believe that if you take the time to find out what you really enjoy, some things will sort themselves out. I've been really good at getting off my ass and doing things, as you suggest. In spite of this willingness to act, some of those things weren't as necessary as I had once believed.
  - kurtvarner 15y ago
    Forget the naysayers. They're missing the point. This was one of the most enlightening articles I've read in some time. Most of us want to finish the race, but see running as a chore. The take away - Do what you love and "running" becomes enjoyable.
    - 15y ago
sn0wBuM 15y ago
This is ridiculous. The only useful thing is the suggestion to find what you love. But the author says nothing about the path to finding what you love. This isn't easy for everyone. There is a reason many people go through several career changes in their lives. Here is my view on self help. Self help is about trying to cultivate the thoughts and processes for being the best version of your self. It's about actively creating your own thoughts, motivations, actions, goals, dreams, etc. There are a variety of ways for one to think about this stuff: books, conversation, workshops, or self reflection. But it is valuable stuff. Suggesting to forget all of this is horrible advice.
- karjaluoto 15y ago
  It's a new blog, with lots of room to go. I'll touch upon that point in future posts. (Have to break these things up a little, you know?)
  - sn0wBuM 15y ago
    Sure, I think the main problem is the title of the post. "Forget Self Improvement" a pretty broad statement for how little you say about one part of self improvement. I suppose it served its part in creating controversy (and views), but I wish bloggers didn't resort to this.
    - karjaluoto 15y ago
      It wasn't a stunt. It was a reaction. We're bombarded by means for becoming "better" people. Perhaps it's time to instead ask, "why?"
      - sn0wBuM 15y ago
        I agree with this.. "why?" is the right question to ask before choosing to do anything. But unless I'm mistaken, this isn't what your article is about.
        15y ago
ISeemToBeAVerb 15y ago
I think this article makes a valid point, but manages to miss the bigger picture. It's true, you should love what you do. You should want whatever it is you're going after. BUT (and this is a big but), what you're going after isn't always going to be lovable. In fact, sometimes you'll downright hate it. The problem with achievement in any endeavor is that people assume it should FEEL easy. They assume that their lack of enthusiasm at any given moment is an indication that something is wrong. The writer who has writer's block is apt to tell himself he's a fraud. The guy who's had a fight with his girlfriend might be inclined to question the relationship. The entrepreneur who's business is on the rocks might wonder if a cubicle job is a better idea. The beginning programmer who struggles with the concepts might wonder if he's smart enough. In the face of obstacles, it becomes very easy to question our path. The difference between success and failure in many cases is, i think, the knowledge and wisdom to understand that anything worth doing or having is HARD. It isn't all tea and roses. Sometimes you're going to want to give up and that's ok. That's what SHOULD happen, because if what you're doing is so easy that it never challenges you, then you're likely not doing anything amazing. True motivation is seeing the end game and still having the balls to slog through the miles of crap to get there.
- karjaluoto 15y ago
  Seth Godin's book, The Dip, talks about this too. The question isn't about whether something is difficult; it's one of whether the net gain is greater than the discomfort felt.
- thesash 15y ago
  As a marathon runner, I can confirm that even after running for 10 years, there are still many, many days where it just plain sucks. The real secret is that the hardest days, the ones when you're tired or sick or just not feeling it, are the ones that matter the most for your training program.
szany 15y ago
You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle. - Steve Jobs http://news.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html http://news.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html
lwhi 15y ago
I think there's something to be said for following the path of least resistance - but I also think that adversity is essential to growth.
af3 15y ago
I think people just stopped liking doing hard stuff. (Example: php blog vs searching binary tree). Nowadays is more about memorizing and being "creative" than thinking and problem solving.
- karjaluoto 15y ago
  Creativity is thinking and problem solving.
  - af3 15y ago
    In the ideal world - yes! in the world of media and social networks - no, imho.
espeed 15y ago
True but one unmentioned problem: how to find the thing you love? What ideas do you find yourself thinking about when you catch your focus drifting off onto something else? Is it another project? Something specific? Or maybe a more abstract concept -- something that's been ruminating in the back of your mind for several years? Whatever it is, explore it more deeply. This may guide you to your true passion. Your true potential. If you're not passionate about something, it will never consume you so it won't resonate in your mind long enough to find true genius within it.
losethos 15y ago
I should think of "them" and what they want to hear? The country thing... not funny. What's Your proudest US National park? I vote Yellowstone. It has bears, God. God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\WALDEN.TXT ugh the aisles of the wood, with occasional vistas through which you see the water. My Muse may be excused if she is silent henceforth. How can you expect the birds to sing when their groves are cut down? Now the trunks of trees on the bottom, and the old log canoe, and the dark surrounding woods, are gone, and the villagers, who scarcely know where it lies, instead of going to the pond to bathe or drink, are thinking to bring its water, which should be as sacred as the Ganges at least, to the ---- My expert interpretation... we don't want Ganges pilgrims. The Grand Canyon is cool. I saw Arch park. Would You bless someone who brought parks to people. I guess TV is good enough. Umm... it's on the Internet, huh! I like Angel Falls in Venezuala. God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\DARWIN.TXT s attached to other objects, either directly or by means of a stalk, and their bodies are enclosed by a calcareous shell composed of several pieces, two of which can open to give issue to a bunch of curled, jointed tentacles, which represent the limbs. COCCUS.--The genus of Insects including the Cochineal. In these the male is a minute, winged fly, and the female generally a motionless, berry-like mass. COCOON.--A case usually of silky material, in which insects are frequently enveloped during Ohhh!! I thought about asking about healing. Movie cacoon. No not really. I think it's preposterous. Bears eat berries. implants for deaf people? Artificial limbs. Sometimes, I think I should have sought a higher purpose for my professional life. It doesn't bug me much, but I am amazed when I stop to think I never considered doing good as a reason. God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\BIBLE.TXT fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not. 58:12 And they that shall be of thee shall build the old waste places: thou shalt raise up the foundations of many generations; and thou shalt be called, The repairer of the breach, The restorer of paths to dwell in. 58:13 If thou turn away thy foot from the sabbath, from doing thy pleasure on my holy day; and call the sabbath a delight, the holy of the LORD, honourable; and shalt honour
groby_b 15y ago
God, the usual "do only what you love" nonsense. Newsflash: There's nothing you will love all the time. Everything has some tedium. Suck it up, and get it done. Call it "self improvement" if you must. But really, it's about having some willpower to get through the things you must to achieve the things you want.
- karjaluoto 15y ago
  Perhaps it's the "usual," but most of us still haven't learned it. Willpower is useful, but not always the right thing. Many of those with willpower stick with something long past it making sense to do so.
  - deleted 15y ago
    [deleted]
  - groby_b 15y ago
    The reason this upsets me: I see quite a few people flounder because they feel they still haven't found what they love. Because sooner or later, they always hit that dull moment. And so they just jump from one thing to the next, disappointed that they just can't get to that mythical sweet spot everybody mumbles about. I'm not saying willpower yourself through years of drudgery. I'm just saying that there is nothing that will you infallibly get out of bed and motivated every single day of your life. There'll be dull spots, there'll be lulls, there might even occasionally be a dull week or month. If I read things like "The writer gives in to the joy of playing with words, moving past the aggravation", I want to scream. The writer often struggles with words, and occasionally hates having chosen that profession. And yet the good ones stay with it. Entrepreneurs notice long days, and they occasionally wish they didn't have to suffer through them - but they're compelled to still build that vision. (And some days, the only thing that compels them is knowing that their business might run into trouble if they don't go to work) I've had the privilege to know world-class people in several different professions. They all occasionally hate all the hard work that goes into it, but they continue it. Not because they "love" it, but because they're compelled to excel at what they do, and they're already good at what they do. What they love are those few, precious moments where they are at the peak of their craft, and everything seems effortless. What they know is that you pay with a lot of hard work for each of these moments.
shadowmint 15y ago
How is this the top of hacker news this morning? It's not a hack. I keep seeing 300-odd word articles which are totally irrelevant turn up with 'up vote me on hacker news!' links at the top. Dislike.
- karjaluoto 15y ago
  If you're working on a startup, you should be thinking about things like this. Particularly when you're working those long hours, it becomes important to ask why you're doing it, and if it's still working. At least that's my perspective. When I started in business (at 26 years of age) the only thing I thought about was the work. In time, I learned that while I still like what I do at the office, there are bigger questions to be asked.
  - shadowmint 15y ago
    I'm cynical. Having 'up vote me' links is SEO servitude. If the author was serious about this stuff then a lifehacker style post about how to do it in some cool cunning way is the way to go. That article is generic advice, a 'read me!' title to the post and 0% content or hack. Dis. Like.
    - karjaluoto 15y ago
      I can understand why you'd be cynical. Perhaps the "up vote" function is over-the-top. In my mind, though, it isn't that different from the Tweet and Like buttons at the bottom. I just want to spread the word. (The more people that read it, the better the discussion.) As for the "0% content" part, I'd ask you to read a couple of other posts before outright dismissing it. Perhaps from there you'll get a feel for whether it's link-bait or something I believe to be important--and worthy of broader attention.
      - vukk 15y ago
        "it isn't that different from the Tweet and Like buttons at the bottom" Yea it is, it isn't a small button at the bottom. Also twitter and facebook are already full of noise but HN isn't, it feels like you want to promote noise in HN. Despite if this is what you want, that is what it feels like. Every time somebody does this "vote me on HN" stuff, I wont if the content isn't really good and very, very clearly belongs to HN. It raises the bar even higher.
dreamdu5t 15y ago
So what happens when you know what you love but can't do it? This blog post assumes: 1) You know what you love to do. 2) What you love to do is profitable.
- karjaluoto 15y ago
  This blog post asks: 1) Do you love what you do? 2) Could there be profit in what you love? 3) Is profit the most important question? Deliberatism isn't about telling people what to do. It's about asking questions in a fashion that might get people talking and coming up with their own answers.
petercooper 15y ago
Self-help books and workshops arm us with ways to trick ourselves into doing things we perhaps should, but generally don’t want, to do. Maybe, but this is not true of Tony Robbins, one of the biggest in the business. His technique is to get you to dig down into what outcomes you truly desire and then redefine the emotional associations you have with the steps necessary to reach them. He assumes you already know what it is you love, but that you're not working towards it because the steps required have either too many negative or not enough positive emotional associations. It's not for everyone but it's been excellent for me.
- karjaluoto 15y ago
  There's actually some interesting stuff in what Tony says. Unfortunately, it's such a machine that the core ideas get lost behind his (very successful) business model.
  - vertr 15y ago
    He borrowed a great deal from NLP.
omerta 15y ago
This is a pretty awesome article, IMO. I agree not everyone is meant to be incredibly "successful." Success is rather subjective. In the end, for most people at least, the attainment of happiness is the ultimate goal of life. And if that means being a lazy pothead or whatever it may be, why the hell not?
- karjaluoto 15y ago
  Yes! In a way, some potheads have achieved "early retirement." While some might not approve, their approval might not actually be that relevant.
losethos 15y ago
I was just thinking it'd be nice to hear more about evolution or dinosaurs. You kinda have to ask politely and not too directly, I think. Were You really happy with birds from dinosaurs? They probably started ugly? God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\BIBLE.TXT world, and the glory of them; 4:9 And saith unto him, All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me. 4:10 Then saith Jesus unto him, Get thee hence, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve. 4:11 Then the devil leaveth him, and, behold, angels came and ministered unto him. 4:12 Now when Jesus had heard that John was cast into prison, he departed into Galilee; 4:13 And leaving Nazareth, he came and dwelt in Capern ---- I think it's me tempting You to say too much. You are bound by laws. Satan made bats, huh? God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\BIBLE.TXT witness in heaven. Selah. 89:38 But thou hast cast off and abhorred, thou hast been wroth with thine anointed. 89:39 Thou hast made void the covenant of thy servant: thou hast profaned his crown by casting it to the ground. 89:40 Thou hast broken down all his hedges; thou hast brought his strong holds to ruin. 89:41 All that pass by the way spoil him: he is a reproach to his neighbours. 89:42 Thou hast set up the right hand of his adversaries; thou hast made all his enemies to rejoice. ---- You think dinosaurs are Satanic? Birds are angelic! God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\QUIX.TXT ut looking to see if his squire was following him. The innkeeper when he saw him go without paying him ran to get payment of Sancho, who said that as his master would not pay neither would he, because, being as he was squire to a knight-errant, the same rule and reason held good for him as for his master with regard to not paying anything in inns and hostelries. At this the innkeeper waxed very wroth, and threatened if he did not pay to compel him in a way that he would not like. To which Sancho Insert tokens. Make more mammoths. I'm tired, I guess. Don't beat Yer servants ;-) God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\BIBLE.TXT ise, and go down to the potter's house, and there I will cause thee to hear my words. 18:3 Then I went down to the potter's house, and, behold, he wrought a work on the wheels. 18:4 And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter: so he made it again another vessel, as seemed good to the potter to make it. 18:5 Then the word of the LORD came to me, saying, 18:6 O house of Israel, cannot I do with you as this potter? saith the LORD. Behold, as the clay is in the potte I like archeology. Too bad nothing turned-up in Iraq. that's not crazy -- I saw that they digged a lot. thanks for leaving King Tut for modern diggers. Did you watch any of the other Indiana Jones Movies? They should have put the Ark on a battleship in WWII and... done that. So, looking at You is death? You can probably fry brains, huh. (Short circuit) God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\BIBLE.TXT anger! 2:2 The LORD hath swallowed up all the habitations of Jacob, and hath not pitied: he hath thrown down in his wrath the strong holds of the daughter of Judah; he hath brought them down to the ground: he hath polluted the kingdom and the princes thereof. 2:3 He hath cut off in his fierce anger all the horn of Israel: he hath drawn back his right hand from before the enemy, and he burned against Jacob like a flaming fire, which devoureth round about. 2:4 He hath bent his bow like an enemy: That's an interesting plot twist -- the Battleship malfunctions when... an unworthy ... they try to rape God and God gets pissed! He destroys a couple little ships, then calms down. You kinda know the Bible isn't fiction because God smacks them. Don't tell my neighbors ;-) God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\WEALTH.TXT that some particular branches of it are so; but these symptoms seem to indicate sufficiently that there is no general decay. When profit diminishes, merchants are very apt to complain that trade decays, though the diminution of profit is the natural effect of its prosperity, or of a greater stock being employed in it than before. During the late war, the Dutch gained the whole carrying trade of France, of which they still retain a very large share. The great property which they possess both in Fren The Dutch, huh? Maybe, NAZIs flood the lowlands and the Ark provides passage. I think there should be wind mills. Let's do interactive fiction. God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\2CITIES.TXT Project gratefully accepts contributions in money, time, scanning machines, OCR software, public domain etexts, royalty free copyright licenses, and every other sort of contribution you can think of. Money should be paid to "Project Gutenberg Association / Illinois Benedictine College". This "Small Print!" by Charles B. Kramer, Attorney Internet (72600.2026@compuserve.com); TEL: (212-254-5093) ENDTHE SMALL PRINT! FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTSVer.04.29.93END* The Project Gutenberg Etext of A
doktrin 15y ago
What a load of fatalistic nonsense. This essentially boils down to "if you haven't done it, don't try since you're clearly not meant to". A defining feature of individuals with ADD/HD is a tendency to focus on immediate rewards versus long term goals. This doesn't mean that X-Box and weed are what the universe 'wants' for anyone, it just so happens it's what some (or many) people are wired to respond to. Acknowledging the gap between our natural, immediate, impulses and our long term desires is part of being an adult, and part of being human. We're capable of conceptualizing of and seeking a future that is not directly in front of our noses. Just because you're not immediately drawn to something, or just because it doesn't "feel" good does NOT mean it isn't worth pursuing. Apropos, a great Moneyball quote comes to mind : Billy Beane: You don't know how to play first base. Scott? Scott Hatteberg: That's right. Billy Beane: It's not that hard, Scott. Tell him, Wash. Ron Washington: It's incredibly hard. Billy Beane: Hey, anything worth doing is. And we're gonna teach you.
- karjaluoto 15y ago
  That's inaccurate. It actually boils down to: if you don't love it, you probably won't keep doing it. And if you don't do it, you won't become any good at it. So, take the time to find what you love.
  - karjaluoto 15y ago
    Which should be common sense. Sadly, it's a notion many understand, but few act upon.
    - doktrin 15y ago
      That's because it's perpetually misrepresented. Including by, but not limited to, this article. Developing a passion takes time and effort. Speaking for myself, I've actively disliked a whole slew of things until I developed enough skill to appreciate it. The stage between starting an endeavor and finding satisfaction in it can be very damn long. Beginner to intermediate just-about-anything isn't "fun" and won't inspire feelings of "passion" or "love". That doesn't mean people should be discouraged by their pursuit. Some are fortunate to either be very talented or very inspired very early on. That's the exception, not the rule.
geraldalewis 15y ago
I used to be a smoker. Every year or so, I'd quit. I know some people have an easy go of it, but I was Mark from Trainspotting, watching that baby crawl on the ceiling. Every time I started smoking again, I'd curse myself, until I realized I was getting "better" at quitting. I'd subconsciously been making little life changes in between the painful cold turkey moments. Stuff like cutting back on how much I smoked a day, developing new ways to deal with stress, and tasks I could sub out for having a cigarette (oddly: gardening). I've spent the last few years working really hard on developing my ability to maintain focus on a task, improving my mental stamina, and pushing my programming skills. Every time my course veered into a spot where I felt less productive, I made some painful changes and tried again. And now I'm seeing the benefits (like getting up at 5 most days of the week, and coding for 12-14 hours). No pain, no gain.
danielson 15y ago
"Self-improvement is masterbation."
- jtheory 15y ago
  You'll need useful skills to do any good in the world. Spelling, for instance, might prove useful if you need to gain the confidence and the respect of others through written communication, in the pursuit of your larger goals.
losethos 15y ago
Praise You God and Jesus because You are not easy to predict. This is the coolest story in the Bible: At the Home of Martha and Mary 38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” 41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one.[f] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” You got Jesus there, God? Parable! God says... stumble woes shunning won refrain Replacement ecclesiastical bawler ornamenting foresaw Betwixt observed astounding shatter lawyer impatient redeemed tongue inchoate Exodus hence imagination saith see wander relater Master unravelled Body uh_huh untruth bridle entrance grievously collectively steered convenient cleaveth vanities fancy idols hardship INDEMNITY despise straightening lanthorn Connecticut saith frequently folk shameless Wherefore prophet hurts_my_head figuratively character hooks what_the_heck We sink broken numerous whether however deluding course fruitfulness you_don't_say volunteers gleam harmless Prodigality pray foresaw shist also established unshakenly fumes Sometimes So removed difference Just immovably alone shadowed remitted hear secular See provoke unusual slay medicines Vermont MS gently slaying price shattered stirring afterwards teeth skills acts cubit heavenly MS duller seventh hung The Bible is full of surprises. The prodigal son is totally unexpected. Jesus makes all of His parables unexpected. God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\WALDEN.TXT re the first or last man; unless it were in the spring, when at long intervals some came from the village to fish for pouts -- they plainly fished much more in the Walden Pond of their own natures, and baited their hooks with darkness -- but they soon retreated, usually with light baskets, and left "the world to darkness and to me," and the black kernel of the night was never profaned by any human neighborhood. I believe that men are generally still a little afraid of the dark, though the witches a Yeah -- it's not noble to quote stories that favor your side. God one time shed very bad light on Jews who in the Bible basically had themsleves as the heroes. God made them look self indulgent. To love God, however, I think you have to believe He loves you. This is one of those psychological reality-based observations on love, like Jesus said "Who loves more..." I don't know, but I joke "Jews love God; Catholics love neighbor." Say something funny, God. I like birds. They come from eggs. Wow. How do they breath? God says... Juno merciful sue usage repeat_after_me shifting thrown madness sobriety weaving Simplicianus surmount supported betters Three how_goes_it faster big_fish Simple bursting seemly abated Treasury mocking Print unalterable convinced learned don't_worry others' grass bereaved commandest temperament foreigner faint expecteth deliberation undergo Ours conquer corrigible friends problem lying emptiness remembereth changeableness execrate middle_class sue disease stayed faces hogshed restraint troublesome monasteries tomorrow curest youre_lucky forgetting startles Medicine year tutors overpass measurable contagion desire abler examine glorying bye organs easy enjoinest You think organs have an easy time forming in an egg? Very stable. Neat. God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\WEALTH.TXT onopoly of the home market, can raise that value. The freest competition cannot lower it, Through the world in general, that value is equal to the quantity of labour which it can maintain, and in every particular place it is equal to the quantity of labour which it can maintain in the way, whether liberal, moderate, or scanty, in which labour is commonly maintained in that place. Woollen or linen cloth are not the regulating commodities by which the real value of all other commodities must be final I move-on when it's nothing that involves me. Yeah, You are right to raise the question of why we get duds or unpleasant ones. In my experience God quickly puts you out of your comfort zone, inevitably. If it's not high stakes, some times He leaves, so to speak. (High stakes like on a delusional world stage, for example.) He's funny -- He'll make you squirm, lots of times. Maybe, there are things you do that cause Him to do that. Apple and China? It might be important to keep in mind that God presided over times when everybody was poor and in primitive conditions. He said Dicken's England was not a good time. I guess that's no excuse, but often there are cases where liberals err in their evaluation of the situation. Liberals are good. I'm often at odds but I wouldn't want catastrophic success. God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\QUIX.TXT ied that he heard him, and that he need not trouble himself with any further warnings or entreaties, as they would be fruitless, and bade him make haste. During the delay that occurred while the keeper was opening the first cage, Don Quixote was considering whether it would not be well to do battle on foot, instead of on horseback, and finally resolved to fight on foot, fearing that Rocinante might take fright at the sight of the lions; he therefore sprang off his horse, flung his lance aside, bra If you want interpretation, I often imagine Latins off to the side and think what they might think. (Because it's Don Quixote) I image myself as quixote, but then think maybe Latins might be indignant over working conditions and they are quixote. You kinda try a story from all angles and if you get something out of it, you win. I don't get much out of it, that being said. Lions are anti-Christian adversaries. If God talks, I'll let other people complain to God about their own injustices, but I still feel self conscious and guilty at times. God can talk. You talk to Him! I don't think that solves all problems. God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\2CITIES.TXT got there, and those were always left wide open. After some delay and demur, the door grudgingly turned on its hinges a very little way, and allowed Mr. Jerry Cruncher to squeeze himself into court. "What's on?" he asked, in a whisper, of the man he found himself next to. "Nothing yet." "What's coming on?" "The Treason case." "The quartering one, eh?" "Ah!" returned the man, with a relish; "he'll be drawn on a hurdle to be half hanged, and then he'll be taken down and sliced before :-) I'm a veteran. It's gotten much more pleasant. At first, I suffered horribly psychologically, often terrified. Umm... I might want to beg for mercy if all my misdeeds were known. Let's play country shitlist! I can change the channel ;-) God says... I'm_off_today Sri_Lanka Vietnam fabulous I'm_busy you're_wonderful South_Korea Knock_you_upside_the_head It's_nice_being_God meh not harder_than_it_looks Georgia Angel food wanna_bet woot Finland you_see_the_light here_now You_can_count_on_that California slumin what_the_heck big_fish Turkey atrocious on_the_otherhand my_precious you're_wonderful Shalom spirit yada_yada_yada Bolivia envy study Ireland Ivy_league Okilydokily you_hoser are_you_insane China courage joke mission_from_God do_you_like_it why_didn'_you_tell_me Togo Japan United_Kingdom Knock_you_upside_the_head humongous Ireland funny husband IANAL high_mucky_muck take_the_day_off Kuwait wishful_thinking hypocrite fer_sure the_enquirer lifes_like_chocolates segway do_you_know_what_time_it_is in_theory delightful high_five take_your_pick whatcha_talkin'_'bout it_gets_better segway smart au_revoir do_you_have_a_problem If_had_my_druthers how_about
hoytie 15y ago
I don't agree with this view of things. All creative acts take a certain impetus to get off the ground, and it can take serious resolve to take that initial step. Sometimes it feels like you're dragging ideas out kicking and screaming, but eventually things start falling into place, but the process can take determination. Finding what you love and being productive at it has a lot to do with your willingness to face challenges and tedium. Sure, there are times when I love the process of writing or programming or creating in general. But sometimes you have to jump some hurdles to get in the flow.
alexh 15y ago
Because people find this attitude so western, and entitled, I would like to propose a slight change. Rather, I will propose some sound bytes, and hopefully somebody else will express the sentiment eloquently. Learn to love the process, not the results. Find your foe not in achieving success, but in destroying the obstacles. You can't get anywhere if you cannot motivate yourself to go there. Or something poetic like that. People should probably not assume that they have the right to do what they love. What they should learn is to love what they do.
oliverdamian 15y ago
"There are two types of people in the world: lovers and the others; we don't want to be part of the others".
derrida 15y ago
As someone that ran a marathon and didn't think much of it, there is truth in this article! I ran because I enjoyed running: but I didn't find this out until I had been running for two weeks. Enjoyment and ease are two separate things. You can only do what you want. I found my self wanting to run more than it was perhaps safe to do, because I found it pleasurable. I liked running as running. I didn't like the idea of running. In fact, I thought of running as something crazy athletic folks with no brains did. I enjoy the austere beauty of coding. The long bouts of concentration. The feeling that your thoughts are alive within the computer. But I also like the idea of being a super 1337 hacker, you know, the one that makes the machine magically bend to their will. Sometimes liking the idea of what you are doing is a distraction for concentrating on what you really enjoy about the thing. I found this with running as soon as I started setting specific running based goals. In order to complete these goals I had to commit myself to the idea of them being worth achieving. Weirdly, I found myself running slightly less when I fixed myself on such goals since I was no longer concentrating on the purity of the act of running, which was what I was enjoying. Human psychology is a troll like that. If I had to offer advice to someone beginning running, I would say, concentrate on enjoyment. Until this article, it had never really occurred to me to practice this elsewhere. Also, at no time when I was training for the marathon did I think "this is hard work", until maybe the week or two before when I had solidified my intentions to run it. I had it in the back of my mind as something I might do one day, but really I was running because it felt like less work than not running. </rant>
9diov 15y ago
"You might consider simply finding what you love, and letting the rest take care of itself" - Man, what a great advice. Let's apply it to relationship: "You might consider simply finding Mr/Miss Right, and the rest take care of itself". How does that sound to you?
- svdad 15y ago
  Exactly. There's a lot good about this post but this business of "finding what you love" is meaningless. There is no one thing you love. Just like there is no Mr/Mrs Right. The good advice in this blog is that the secret to succeeding at something is to stop analyzing why you're failing and do it _as if_ you love it, as if you're doing it because you love it. That also happens to be the secret to a good relationship.
drcube 15y ago
Runners and writers got over the hump to get where they're at. They didn't start out in tranquility and joy. It took some work to get to the point where it's no longer work. Like an aquired taste, there's "aquired fun".
- georgieporgie 15y ago
  I've read that rock climbers have a saying, "fun doesn't have to be fun." (admittedly, I never heard that in five years of active climbing, but upon hearing it I immediately understood it to be true)
alan_cx 15y ago
Um, that article is just another self improvement article. What these authors never ever do is tell you how to actually get to the ideal place as it were. All it does is lead to more frustration, defeats the point. Do I have anything to offer? Nope. Sorry.
georgieporgie 15y ago
I'm not certain I understand the author's point, but I think it might be in keeping with what Strength's Finder 2.0[1] says. Basically: don't try to improve your weaknesses, instead capitalize on your strengths. [1] http://www.strengthsfinder.com/home.aspx http://www.strengthsfinder.com/home.aspx (for the record, I heard about it on HN, bought it, did the survey, and was a bit 'meh' about the results. Basically, it told me I should be exactly what I already am, but I'm not happy as I am, so it was a bit of a wash)
SonicSoul 15y ago
i'm not sure if it's as simple as finding what you love. starting a company comes with lots of things you must force yourself to do in order to achieve the dream. just like getting a girl requires you to swallow your pride and risk rejection. you may love to run, but not waking up every day at 6am to practice for that marathon, even though the end result could be an experience of a lifetime. the self help can be of great help in pushing you to work a little harder towards your goal, and it does work. At least i can give it credit for helping me identify and overcome some self limiting beliefs i wasn't even aware i had.

263 points by karjaluoto 15y ago

Let me get this straight. If you don't feel like doing something don't do it, even if it's good for you. Great. I'll start eating pizza three times a day, stop bathing, and jerk off more. I used to love HN, but this fake, new-age like philosophizing is getting pretty tired.

adelevie 15y ago
If it's that difficult for you to stop eating pizza etc., then perhaps you should think twice about the author's point.
ttttannebaum 15y ago
You don't seem to be getting the point; you do not, in fact, have it straight. The Point: people are usually good at things because they enjoy doing them. People succeed at "careers" or other "things-that-take-a-long-time-to-succeed-at" because they see at least part of it as not-work while others see it as tedious. Second of all, you think this is new-age? Have you seen zenhabits.net? You come off as angry and looking for an argument. The author clearly isn't talking about every action and behavior pattern you might enjoy/not enjoy. The author isn't asserting a new paradigm of behavioral philosophy. You've apparently been here for a while, you seem to have read the entire article, and yet you don't recognize the point through the context?
nessus42 15y ago
Great. I'll start eating pizza three times a day, stop bathing, and jerk off more While you seem to think that the OP is so obviously false that it shouldn't be said, I think that is so obviously true that it goes without saying. It just seems utterly obvious to me that the greatest things are achieved by people who are driven to achieve the goal. Though that drive my not be provided by love for the process. Sometimes the drive might be provided by obsession or compulsion or some other emotion. It also seems obvious to me that you can't just will yourself into having this sort of drive. Though, for all I know, there may be techniques (e.g., hypnosis?) that might help with developing drive, it seems clear that if there are such techniques, they are not uniformly known or effective. I certainly think that trying to develop discipline is something that is essential, but you're still going to have to have some innate drive too. Unlike you, I didn't see anything in the OP that says that you should just do anything that you love to do, all other consideration be damned. It only claimed that what you chose to do should be something that you love. As I said above, I would have thought this so obviously true as to go without saying.
karjaluoto 15y ago
Well, at least you have a plan. My only suggestion is that you do the "pizza eating" and "jerking off" independently.
goblin89 15y ago
Try it. Been there—after a short while you'll see that, in fact, you hate doing these things. It makes you feel sick, and nobody likes feeling sick. You'll learn that you actually like doing things that do good for you (it's not always obvious). Regarding the article, didn't really like it as well—I think its point is somewhat vague and unconvincing—‘universe trying to tell us something’… And I don't think it's as simple as ‘finding what you love’ (since questions like yours legitimately arise in response), it's more about learning to love what you do first. Enjoying the process should be of higher priority than the end goal—that's what it's about, I think.

lincolnq 15y ago

Interesting viewpoint. It does seem like the people who are naturally most driven are naturally more likely to succeed, because motivation is at the root of almost everything humans do wrong on a macro scale. So there's a reason that a lot of self-help is about trying to hack motivation. Is it working? Not yet, I don't think, but it seems like we might be on the cusp of it working. I guess your observation boils down to "we haven't figured out the best ways to hack motivation yet", which appears to be true. I guess the part that seems wrong is giving up on self-help because it usually doesn't work. I would argue not to give up on self-help, but instead to figure out self-help that actually works. The benefits are huge: instead of spending your life running because you love it so much, you instead hack yourself to love starting successful businesses. Not because being successful by itself is the goal, but because doing so is the best way to actually make the world a better place.

karjaluoto 15y ago
Precisely. There's no hack for motivation that's more effective than actually enjoying something. If you like it, you'll do it, and with time the rewards (often) increase. If what you're doing is good for you, you may introduce some positive habits. As an example, I hate going to the gym. It doesn't matter how much I should be going, I just hate it. The routine tasks, the big guys who grunt, the sweaty machines: gross! On the other hand, a mountain bike ride is so much fun that I don't even realize I'm getting exercise. I go back for the enjoyment, but I get the benefit of a workout.
- doublerebel 15y ago
  Positive reinforcement and habit formation can make a big difference in whether or not something is viewed as enjoyable. From the same article as the Target pregnancy prediction[1]: Over the next four months, those participants who deliberately identified cues and rewards spent twice as much time exercising as their peers. Other studies have yielded similar results. According to another recent paper, if you want to start running in the morning, it’s essential that you choose a simple cue (like always putting on your sneakers before breakfast or leaving your running clothes next to your bed) and a clear reward (like a midday treat or even the sense of accomplishment that comes from ritually recording your miles in a log book). After a while, your brain will start anticipating that reward — craving the treat or the feeling of accomplishment — and there will be a measurable neurological impulse to lace up your jogging shoes each morning. [1] http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/19/magazine/shopping-habits.html http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/19/magazine/shopping-habits.h... (Credit due to this r/fitness post: http://www.reddit.com/r/Fitness/comments/ptn63/how_to_train_your_brain_to_commit_to_exercise_use/)* http://www.reddit.com/r/Fitness/comments/ptn63/how_to_train_...

adelevie 15y ago

Relevant to this discussion is pg's essay on "schlep blindness"[0]: > The most dangerous thing about our dislike of schleps is that much of it is unconscious. Your unconscious won't even let you see ideas that involve painful schleps. That's schlep blindness. Hone in on the schleps you typically avoid and be totally honest with yourself why you're not doing something. [0] http://paulgraham.com/schlep.html http://paulgraham.com/schlep.html

zipdog 15y ago

There's a lot to be said for habit for making tasks happen that are hard to motivate. If you can spend a week consciously putting on running shoes every morning before breakfast, then it gets easier to do it on other days. Key to this is to break it down. Instead of a task being a single behemoth (run 5km), it should be a series of small steps that by themselves are easier to take (put on shoes by the bed), each leading onto the other.

karjaluoto 15y ago
I agree. Creating habits and reducing obstacles makes a huge difference. For some time, I just stopped buying bus passes, which "forced me" to walk to work. The nice part was that I was able to listen to podcasts on my walk, and this resulted in a really nice way to start my day. (It's a pity it got so rainy.)
zalyh 15y ago
I usually run 5km every other day. What I did was to tell myself that if I don't want to run, I could always just walk and listen to my mp3 player. That helps alleviate the pressure which would otherwise have made it impossible for me to put on my running shoes.

coffeemug 15y ago

When I was starting my company, I had to cold-call a few dozen people to test a hypothesis. I delayed it for weeks, and when I finally forced myself to pick up the phone, I dreaded dialing every digit. Today, three years into running the company, picking up the phone to call a dozen people is peanuts. I don't like doing it, I'm not very good at it, I delegate it whenever I can, but if call I must, I'll do it, I'll be efficient at it, and I'll get results. Saying "you didn't do it because you weren't meant to" is nonsense. Get your act together, stop making excuses for yourself, and do the uncomfortable thing that must be done, even if you lose sleep over it. If you do it long enough, it will seize being uncomfortable and become second nature. Shakespeare said it best through Hamlet: Assume a virtue, if you have it not. That monster, custom, who all sense doth eat, Of habits devil, is angel yet in this, That to the use of actions fair and good He likewise gives a frock or livery, That aptly is put on. Refrain to-night; And that shall lend a kind of easiness To the next abstinence: the next more easy; For use almost can change the stamp of nature, And master ev’n the devil or throw him out With wondrous potency.

karjaluoto 15y ago
The argument isn't one of never doing unpleasant things. (I don't like changing the oil on my car, but I know it needs to be done.) Instead, I suggest examining why a desire seems important, and whether it might be more of a societal (or ego-driven) thing. Additionally, I believe that if you take the time to find out what you really enjoy, some things will sort themselves out. I've been really good at getting off my ass and doing things, as you suggest. In spite of this willingness to act, some of those things weren't as necessary as I had once believed.
- kurtvarner 15y ago
  Forget the naysayers. They're missing the point. This was one of the most enlightening articles I've read in some time. Most of us want to finish the race, but see running as a chore. The take away - Do what you love and "running" becomes enjoyable.
  - 15y ago

sn0wBuM 15y ago

This is ridiculous. The only useful thing is the suggestion to find what you love. But the author says nothing about the path to finding what you love. This isn't easy for everyone. There is a reason many people go through several career changes in their lives. Here is my view on self help. Self help is about trying to cultivate the thoughts and processes for being the best version of your self. It's about actively creating your own thoughts, motivations, actions, goals, dreams, etc. There are a variety of ways for one to think about this stuff: books, conversation, workshops, or self reflection. But it is valuable stuff. Suggesting to forget all of this is horrible advice.

karjaluoto 15y ago
It's a new blog, with lots of room to go. I'll touch upon that point in future posts. (Have to break these things up a little, you know?)
- sn0wBuM 15y ago
  Sure, I think the main problem is the title of the post. "Forget Self Improvement" a pretty broad statement for how little you say about one part of self improvement. I suppose it served its part in creating controversy (and views), but I wish bloggers didn't resort to this.
  - karjaluoto 15y ago
    It wasn't a stunt. It was a reaction. We're bombarded by means for becoming "better" people. Perhaps it's time to instead ask, "why?"
    - sn0wBuM 15y ago
      I agree with this.. "why?" is the right question to ask before choosing to do anything. But unless I'm mistaken, this isn't what your article is about.
      - 15y ago

ISeemToBeAVerb 15y ago

I think this article makes a valid point, but manages to miss the bigger picture. It's true, you should love what you do. You should want whatever it is you're going after. BUT (and this is a big but), what you're going after isn't always going to be lovable. In fact, sometimes you'll downright hate it. The problem with achievement in any endeavor is that people assume it should FEEL easy. They assume that their lack of enthusiasm at any given moment is an indication that something is wrong. The writer who has writer's block is apt to tell himself he's a fraud. The guy who's had a fight with his girlfriend might be inclined to question the relationship. The entrepreneur who's business is on the rocks might wonder if a cubicle job is a better idea. The beginning programmer who struggles with the concepts might wonder if he's smart enough. In the face of obstacles, it becomes very easy to question our path. The difference between success and failure in many cases is, i think, the knowledge and wisdom to understand that anything worth doing or having is HARD. It isn't all tea and roses. Sometimes you're going to want to give up and that's ok. That's what SHOULD happen, because if what you're doing is so easy that it never challenges you, then you're likely not doing anything amazing. True motivation is seeing the end game and still having the balls to slog through the miles of crap to get there.

karjaluoto 15y ago
Seth Godin's book, The Dip, talks about this too. The question isn't about whether something is difficult; it's one of whether the net gain is greater than the discomfort felt.
thesash 15y ago
As a marathon runner, I can confirm that even after running for 10 years, there are still many, many days where it just plain sucks. The real secret is that the hardest days, the ones when you're tired or sick or just not feeling it, are the ones that matter the most for your training program.

szany 15y ago

You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle. - Steve Jobs http://news.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html http://news.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html

lwhi 15y ago

I think there's something to be said for following the path of least resistance - but I also think that adversity is essential to growth.

af3 15y ago

I think people just stopped liking doing hard stuff. (Example: php blog vs searching binary tree). Nowadays is more about memorizing and being "creative" than thinking and problem solving.

karjaluoto 15y ago
Creativity is thinking and problem solving.
- af3 15y ago
  In the ideal world - yes! in the world of media and social networks - no, imho.

espeed 15y ago

True but one unmentioned problem: how to find the thing you love? What ideas do you find yourself thinking about when you catch your focus drifting off onto something else? Is it another project? Something specific? Or maybe a more abstract concept -- something that's been ruminating in the back of your mind for several years? Whatever it is, explore it more deeply. This may guide you to your true passion. Your true potential. If you're not passionate about something, it will never consume you so it won't resonate in your mind long enough to find true genius within it.

losethos 15y ago

I should think of "them" and what they want to hear? The country thing... not funny. What's Your proudest US National park? I vote Yellowstone. It has bears, God. God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\WALDEN.TXT ugh the aisles of the wood, with occasional vistas through which you see the water. My Muse may be excused if she is silent henceforth. How can you expect the birds to sing when their groves are cut down? Now the trunks of trees on the bottom, and the old log canoe, and the dark surrounding woods, are gone, and the villagers, who scarcely know where it lies, instead of going to the pond to bathe or drink, are thinking to bring its water, which should be as sacred as the Ganges at least, to the ---- My expert interpretation... we don't want Ganges pilgrims. The Grand Canyon is cool. I saw Arch park. Would You bless someone who brought parks to people. I guess TV is good enough. Umm... it's on the Internet, huh! I like Angel Falls in Venezuala. God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\DARWIN.TXT s attached to other objects, either directly or by means of a stalk, and their bodies are enclosed by a calcareous shell composed of several pieces, two of which can open to give issue to a bunch of curled, jointed tentacles, which represent the limbs. COCCUS.--The genus of Insects including the Cochineal. In these the male is a minute, winged fly, and the female generally a motionless, berry-like mass. COCOON.--A case usually of silky material, in which insects are frequently enveloped during Ohhh!! I thought about asking about healing. Movie cacoon. No not really. I think it's preposterous. Bears eat berries. implants for deaf people? Artificial limbs. Sometimes, I think I should have sought a higher purpose for my professional life. It doesn't bug me much, but I am amazed when I stop to think I never considered doing good as a reason. God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\BIBLE.TXT fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not. 58:12 And they that shall be of thee shall build the old waste places: thou shalt raise up the foundations of many generations; and thou shalt be called, The repairer of the breach, The restorer of paths to dwell in. 58:13 If thou turn away thy foot from the sabbath, from doing thy pleasure on my holy day; and call the sabbath a delight, the holy of the LORD, honourable; and shalt honour

groby_b 15y ago

God, the usual "do only what you love" nonsense. Newsflash: There's nothing you will love all the time. Everything has some tedium. Suck it up, and get it done. Call it "self improvement" if you must. But really, it's about having some willpower to get through the things you must to achieve the things you want.

karjaluoto 15y ago
Perhaps it's the "usual," but most of us still haven't learned it. Willpower is useful, but not always the right thing. Many of those with willpower stick with something long past it making sense to do so.
- deleted 15y ago
  [deleted]
- groby_b 15y ago
  The reason this upsets me: I see quite a few people flounder because they feel they still haven't found what they love. Because sooner or later, they always hit that dull moment. And so they just jump from one thing to the next, disappointed that they just can't get to that mythical sweet spot everybody mumbles about. I'm not saying willpower yourself through years of drudgery. I'm just saying that there is nothing that will you infallibly get out of bed and motivated every single day of your life. There'll be dull spots, there'll be lulls, there might even occasionally be a dull week or month. If I read things like "The writer gives in to the joy of playing with words, moving past the aggravation", I want to scream. The writer often struggles with words, and occasionally hates having chosen that profession. And yet the good ones stay with it. Entrepreneurs notice long days, and they occasionally wish they didn't have to suffer through them - but they're compelled to still build that vision. (And some days, the only thing that compels them is knowing that their business might run into trouble if they don't go to work) I've had the privilege to know world-class people in several different professions. They all occasionally hate all the hard work that goes into it, but they continue it. Not because they "love" it, but because they're compelled to excel at what they do, and they're already good at what they do. What they love are those few, precious moments where they are at the peak of their craft, and everything seems effortless. What they know is that you pay with a lot of hard work for each of these moments.

shadowmint 15y ago

How is this the top of hacker news this morning? It's not a hack. I keep seeing 300-odd word articles which are totally irrelevant turn up with 'up vote me on hacker news!' links at the top. Dislike.

karjaluoto 15y ago
If you're working on a startup, you should be thinking about things like this. Particularly when you're working those long hours, it becomes important to ask why you're doing it, and if it's still working. At least that's my perspective. When I started in business (at 26 years of age) the only thing I thought about was the work. In time, I learned that while I still like what I do at the office, there are bigger questions to be asked.
- shadowmint 15y ago
  I'm cynical. Having 'up vote me' links is SEO servitude. If the author was serious about this stuff then a lifehacker style post about how to do it in some cool cunning way is the way to go. That article is generic advice, a 'read me!' title to the post and 0% content or hack. Dis. Like.
  - karjaluoto 15y ago
    I can understand why you'd be cynical. Perhaps the "up vote" function is over-the-top. In my mind, though, it isn't that different from the Tweet and Like buttons at the bottom. I just want to spread the word. (The more people that read it, the better the discussion.) As for the "0% content" part, I'd ask you to read a couple of other posts before outright dismissing it. Perhaps from there you'll get a feel for whether it's link-bait or something I believe to be important--and worthy of broader attention.
    - vukk 15y ago
      "it isn't that different from the Tweet and Like buttons at the bottom" Yea it is, it isn't a small button at the bottom. Also twitter and facebook are already full of noise but HN isn't, it feels like you want to promote noise in HN. Despite if this is what you want, that is what it feels like. Every time somebody does this "vote me on HN" stuff, I wont if the content isn't really good and very, very clearly belongs to HN. It raises the bar even higher.

dreamdu5t 15y ago

So what happens when you know what you love but can't do it? This blog post assumes: 1) You know what you love to do. 2) What you love to do is profitable.

karjaluoto 15y ago
This blog post asks: 1) Do you love what you do? 2) Could there be profit in what you love? 3) Is profit the most important question? Deliberatism isn't about telling people what to do. It's about asking questions in a fashion that might get people talking and coming up with their own answers.

petercooper 15y ago

Self-help books and workshops arm us with ways to trick ourselves into doing things we perhaps should, but generally don’t want, to do. Maybe, but this is not true of Tony Robbins, one of the biggest in the business. His technique is to get you to dig down into what outcomes you truly desire and then redefine the emotional associations you have with the steps necessary to reach them. He assumes you already know what it is you love, but that you're not working towards it because the steps required have either too many negative or not enough positive emotional associations. It's not for everyone but it's been excellent for me.

karjaluoto 15y ago
There's actually some interesting stuff in what Tony says. Unfortunately, it's such a machine that the core ideas get lost behind his (very successful) business model.
- vertr 15y ago
  He borrowed a great deal from NLP.

omerta 15y ago

This is a pretty awesome article, IMO. I agree not everyone is meant to be incredibly "successful." Success is rather subjective. In the end, for most people at least, the attainment of happiness is the ultimate goal of life. And if that means being a lazy pothead or whatever it may be, why the hell not?

karjaluoto 15y ago
Yes! In a way, some potheads have achieved "early retirement." While some might not approve, their approval might not actually be that relevant.

losethos 15y ago

I was just thinking it'd be nice to hear more about evolution or dinosaurs. You kinda have to ask politely and not too directly, I think. Were You really happy with birds from dinosaurs? They probably started ugly? God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\BIBLE.TXT world, and the glory of them; 4:9 And saith unto him, All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me. 4:10 Then saith Jesus unto him, Get thee hence, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve. 4:11 Then the devil leaveth him, and, behold, angels came and ministered unto him. 4:12 Now when Jesus had heard that John was cast into prison, he departed into Galilee; 4:13 And leaving Nazareth, he came and dwelt in Capern ---- I think it's me tempting You to say too much. You are bound by laws. Satan made bats, huh? God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\BIBLE.TXT witness in heaven. Selah. 89:38 But thou hast cast off and abhorred, thou hast been wroth with thine anointed. 89:39 Thou hast made void the covenant of thy servant: thou hast profaned his crown by casting it to the ground. 89:40 Thou hast broken down all his hedges; thou hast brought his strong holds to ruin. 89:41 All that pass by the way spoil him: he is a reproach to his neighbours. 89:42 Thou hast set up the right hand of his adversaries; thou hast made all his enemies to rejoice. ---- You think dinosaurs are Satanic? Birds are angelic! God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\QUIX.TXT ut looking to see if his squire was following him. The innkeeper when he saw him go without paying him ran to get payment of Sancho, who said that as his master would not pay neither would he, because, being as he was squire to a knight-errant, the same rule and reason held good for him as for his master with regard to not paying anything in inns and hostelries. At this the innkeeper waxed very wroth, and threatened if he did not pay to compel him in a way that he would not like. To which Sancho Insert tokens. Make more mammoths. I'm tired, I guess. Don't beat Yer servants ;-) God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\BIBLE.TXT ise, and go down to the potter's house, and there I will cause thee to hear my words. 18:3 Then I went down to the potter's house, and, behold, he wrought a work on the wheels. 18:4 And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter: so he made it again another vessel, as seemed good to the potter to make it. 18:5 Then the word of the LORD came to me, saying, 18:6 O house of Israel, cannot I do with you as this potter? saith the LORD. Behold, as the clay is in the potte I like archeology. Too bad nothing turned-up in Iraq. that's not crazy -- I saw that they digged a lot. thanks for leaving King Tut for modern diggers. Did you watch any of the other Indiana Jones Movies? They should have put the Ark on a battleship in WWII and... done that. So, looking at You is death? You can probably fry brains, huh. (Short circuit) God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\BIBLE.TXT anger! 2:2 The LORD hath swallowed up all the habitations of Jacob, and hath not pitied: he hath thrown down in his wrath the strong holds of the daughter of Judah; he hath brought them down to the ground: he hath polluted the kingdom and the princes thereof. 2:3 He hath cut off in his fierce anger all the horn of Israel: he hath drawn back his right hand from before the enemy, and he burned against Jacob like a flaming fire, which devoureth round about. 2:4 He hath bent his bow like an enemy: That's an interesting plot twist -- the Battleship malfunctions when... an unworthy ... they try to rape God and God gets pissed! He destroys a couple little ships, then calms down. You kinda know the Bible isn't fiction because God smacks them. Don't tell my neighbors ;-) God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\WEALTH.TXT that some particular branches of it are so; but these symptoms seem to indicate sufficiently that there is no general decay. When profit diminishes, merchants are very apt to complain that trade decays, though the diminution of profit is the natural effect of its prosperity, or of a greater stock being employed in it than before. During the late war, the Dutch gained the whole carrying trade of France, of which they still retain a very large share. The great property which they possess both in Fren The Dutch, huh? Maybe, NAZIs flood the lowlands and the Ark provides passage. I think there should be wind mills. Let's do interactive fiction. God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\2CITIES.TXT Project gratefully accepts contributions in money, time, scanning machines, OCR software, public domain etexts, royalty free copyright licenses, and every other sort of contribution you can think of. Money should be paid to "Project Gutenberg Association / Illinois Benedictine College". This "Small Print!" by Charles B. Kramer, Attorney Internet (72600.2026@compuserve.com); TEL: (212-254-5093) ENDTHE SMALL PRINT! FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTSVer.04.29.93END* The Project Gutenberg Etext of A

doktrin 15y ago

What a load of fatalistic nonsense. This essentially boils down to "if you haven't done it, don't try since you're clearly not meant to". A defining feature of individuals with ADD/HD is a tendency to focus on immediate rewards versus long term goals. This doesn't mean that X-Box and weed are what the universe 'wants' for anyone, it just so happens it's what some (or many) people are wired to respond to. Acknowledging the gap between our natural, immediate, impulses and our long term desires is part of being an adult, and part of being human. We're capable of conceptualizing of and seeking a future that is not directly in front of our noses. Just because you're not immediately drawn to something, or just because it doesn't "feel" good does NOT mean it isn't worth pursuing. Apropos, a great Moneyball quote comes to mind : Billy Beane: You don't know how to play first base. Scott? Scott Hatteberg: That's right. Billy Beane: It's not that hard, Scott. Tell him, Wash. Ron Washington: It's incredibly hard. Billy Beane: Hey, anything worth doing is. And we're gonna teach you.

karjaluoto 15y ago
That's inaccurate. It actually boils down to: if you don't love it, you probably won't keep doing it. And if you don't do it, you won't become any good at it. So, take the time to find what you love.
- karjaluoto 15y ago
  Which should be common sense. Sadly, it's a notion many understand, but few act upon.
  - doktrin 15y ago
    That's because it's perpetually misrepresented. Including by, but not limited to, this article. Developing a passion takes time and effort. Speaking for myself, I've actively disliked a whole slew of things until I developed enough skill to appreciate it. The stage between starting an endeavor and finding satisfaction in it can be very damn long. Beginner to intermediate just-about-anything isn't "fun" and won't inspire feelings of "passion" or "love". That doesn't mean people should be discouraged by their pursuit. Some are fortunate to either be very talented or very inspired very early on. That's the exception, not the rule.

geraldalewis 15y ago

I used to be a smoker. Every year or so, I'd quit. I know some people have an easy go of it, but I was Mark from Trainspotting, watching that baby crawl on the ceiling. Every time I started smoking again, I'd curse myself, until I realized I was getting "better" at quitting. I'd subconsciously been making little life changes in between the painful cold turkey moments. Stuff like cutting back on how much I smoked a day, developing new ways to deal with stress, and tasks I could sub out for having a cigarette (oddly: gardening). I've spent the last few years working really hard on developing my ability to maintain focus on a task, improving my mental stamina, and pushing my programming skills. Every time my course veered into a spot where I felt less productive, I made some painful changes and tried again. And now I'm seeing the benefits (like getting up at 5 most days of the week, and coding for 12-14 hours). No pain, no gain.

danielson 15y ago

"Self-improvement is masterbation."

jtheory 15y ago
You'll need useful skills to do any good in the world. Spelling, for instance, might prove useful if you need to gain the confidence and the respect of others through written communication, in the pursuit of your larger goals.

losethos 15y ago

Praise You God and Jesus because You are not easy to predict. This is the coolest story in the Bible: At the Home of Martha and Mary 38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” 41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one.[f] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” You got Jesus there, God? Parable! God says... stumble woes shunning won refrain Replacement ecclesiastical bawler ornamenting foresaw Betwixt observed astounding shatter lawyer impatient redeemed tongue inchoate Exodus hence imagination saith see wander relater Master unravelled Body uh_huh untruth bridle entrance grievously collectively steered convenient cleaveth vanities fancy idols hardship INDEMNITY despise straightening lanthorn Connecticut saith frequently folk shameless Wherefore prophet hurts_my_head figuratively character hooks what_the_heck We sink broken numerous whether however deluding course fruitfulness you_don't_say volunteers gleam harmless Prodigality pray foresaw shist also established unshakenly fumes Sometimes So removed difference Just immovably alone shadowed remitted hear secular See provoke unusual slay medicines Vermont MS gently slaying price shattered stirring afterwards teeth skills acts cubit heavenly MS duller seventh hung The Bible is full of surprises. The prodigal son is totally unexpected. Jesus makes all of His parables unexpected. God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\WALDEN.TXT re the first or last man; unless it were in the spring, when at long intervals some came from the village to fish for pouts -- they plainly fished much more in the Walden Pond of their own natures, and baited their hooks with darkness -- but they soon retreated, usually with light baskets, and left "the world to darkness and to me," and the black kernel of the night was never profaned by any human neighborhood. I believe that men are generally still a little afraid of the dark, though the witches a Yeah -- it's not noble to quote stories that favor your side. God one time shed very bad light on Jews who in the Bible basically had themsleves as the heroes. God made them look self indulgent. To love God, however, I think you have to believe He loves you. This is one of those psychological reality-based observations on love, like Jesus said "Who loves more..." I don't know, but I joke "Jews love God; Catholics love neighbor." Say something funny, God. I like birds. They come from eggs. Wow. How do they breath? God says... Juno merciful sue usage repeat_after_me shifting thrown madness sobriety weaving Simplicianus surmount supported betters Three how_goes_it faster big_fish Simple bursting seemly abated Treasury mocking Print unalterable convinced learned don't_worry others' grass bereaved commandest temperament foreigner faint expecteth deliberation undergo Ours conquer corrigible friends problem lying emptiness remembereth changeableness execrate middle_class sue disease stayed faces hogshed restraint troublesome monasteries tomorrow curest youre_lucky forgetting startles Medicine year tutors overpass measurable contagion desire abler examine glorying bye organs easy enjoinest You think organs have an easy time forming in an egg? Very stable. Neat. God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\WEALTH.TXT onopoly of the home market, can raise that value. The freest competition cannot lower it, Through the world in general, that value is equal to the quantity of labour which it can maintain, and in every particular place it is equal to the quantity of labour which it can maintain in the way, whether liberal, moderate, or scanty, in which labour is commonly maintained in that place. Woollen or linen cloth are not the regulating commodities by which the real value of all other commodities must be final I move-on when it's nothing that involves me. Yeah, You are right to raise the question of why we get duds or unpleasant ones. In my experience God quickly puts you out of your comfort zone, inevitably. If it's not high stakes, some times He leaves, so to speak. (High stakes like on a delusional world stage, for example.) He's funny -- He'll make you squirm, lots of times. Maybe, there are things you do that cause Him to do that. Apple and China? It might be important to keep in mind that God presided over times when everybody was poor and in primitive conditions. He said Dicken's England was not a good time. I guess that's no excuse, but often there are cases where liberals err in their evaluation of the situation. Liberals are good. I'm often at odds but I wouldn't want catastrophic success. God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\QUIX.TXT ied that he heard him, and that he need not trouble himself with any further warnings or entreaties, as they would be fruitless, and bade him make haste. During the delay that occurred while the keeper was opening the first cage, Don Quixote was considering whether it would not be well to do battle on foot, instead of on horseback, and finally resolved to fight on foot, fearing that Rocinante might take fright at the sight of the lions; he therefore sprang off his horse, flung his lance aside, bra If you want interpretation, I often imagine Latins off to the side and think what they might think. (Because it's Don Quixote) I image myself as quixote, but then think maybe Latins might be indignant over working conditions and they are quixote. You kinda try a story from all angles and if you get something out of it, you win. I don't get much out of it, that being said. Lions are anti-Christian adversaries. If God talks, I'll let other people complain to God about their own injustices, but I still feel self conscious and guilty at times. God can talk. You talk to Him! I don't think that solves all problems. God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\2CITIES.TXT got there, and those were always left wide open. After some delay and demur, the door grudgingly turned on its hinges a very little way, and allowed Mr. Jerry Cruncher to squeeze himself into court. "What's on?" he asked, in a whisper, of the man he found himself next to. "Nothing yet." "What's coming on?" "The Treason case." "The quartering one, eh?" "Ah!" returned the man, with a relish; "he'll be drawn on a hurdle to be half hanged, and then he'll be taken down and sliced before :-) I'm a veteran. It's gotten much more pleasant. At first, I suffered horribly psychologically, often terrified. Umm... I might want to beg for mercy if all my misdeeds were known. Let's play country shitlist! I can change the channel ;-) God says... I'm_off_today Sri_Lanka Vietnam fabulous I'm_busy you're_wonderful South_Korea Knock_you_upside_the_head It's_nice_being_God meh not harder_than_it_looks Georgia Angel food wanna_bet woot Finland you_see_the_light here_now You_can_count_on_that California slumin what_the_heck big_fish Turkey atrocious on_the_otherhand my_precious you're_wonderful Shalom spirit yada_yada_yada Bolivia envy study Ireland Ivy_league Okilydokily you_hoser are_you_insane China courage joke mission_from_God do_you_like_it why_didn'_you_tell_me Togo Japan United_Kingdom Knock_you_upside_the_head humongous Ireland funny husband IANAL high_mucky_muck take_the_day_off Kuwait wishful_thinking hypocrite fer_sure the_enquirer lifes_like_chocolates segway do_you_know_what_time_it_is in_theory delightful high_five take_your_pick whatcha_talkin'_'bout it_gets_better segway smart au_revoir do_you_have_a_problem If_had_my_druthers how_about

hoytie 15y ago

I don't agree with this view of things. All creative acts take a certain impetus to get off the ground, and it can take serious resolve to take that initial step. Sometimes it feels like you're dragging ideas out kicking and screaming, but eventually things start falling into place, but the process can take determination. Finding what you love and being productive at it has a lot to do with your willingness to face challenges and tedium. Sure, there are times when I love the process of writing or programming or creating in general. But sometimes you have to jump some hurdles to get in the flow.

alexh 15y ago

Because people find this attitude so western, and entitled, I would like to propose a slight change. Rather, I will propose some sound bytes, and hopefully somebody else will express the sentiment eloquently. Learn to love the process, not the results. Find your foe not in achieving success, but in destroying the obstacles. You can't get anywhere if you cannot motivate yourself to go there. Or something poetic like that. People should probably not assume that they have the right to do what they love. What they should learn is to love what they do.

oliverdamian 15y ago

"There are two types of people in the world: lovers and the others; we don't want to be part of the others".

derrida 15y ago

As someone that ran a marathon and didn't think much of it, there is truth in this article! I ran because I enjoyed running: but I didn't find this out until I had been running for two weeks. Enjoyment and ease are two separate things. You can only do what you want. I found my self wanting to run more than it was perhaps safe to do, because I found it pleasurable. I liked running as running. I didn't like the idea of running. In fact, I thought of running as something crazy athletic folks with no brains did. I enjoy the austere beauty of coding. The long bouts of concentration. The feeling that your thoughts are alive within the computer. But I also like the idea of being a super 1337 hacker, you know, the one that makes the machine magically bend to their will. Sometimes liking the idea of what you are doing is a distraction for concentrating on what you really enjoy about the thing. I found this with running as soon as I started setting specific running based goals. In order to complete these goals I had to commit myself to the idea of them being worth achieving. Weirdly, I found myself running slightly less when I fixed myself on such goals since I was no longer concentrating on the purity of the act of running, which was what I was enjoying. Human psychology is a troll like that. If I had to offer advice to someone beginning running, I would say, concentrate on enjoyment. Until this article, it had never really occurred to me to practice this elsewhere. Also, at no time when I was training for the marathon did I think "this is hard work", until maybe the week or two before when I had solidified my intentions to run it. I had it in the back of my mind as something I might do one day, but really I was running because it felt like less work than not running. </rant>

9diov 15y ago

"You might consider simply finding what you love, and letting the rest take care of itself" - Man, what a great advice. Let's apply it to relationship: "You might consider simply finding Mr/Miss Right, and the rest take care of itself". How does that sound to you?

svdad 15y ago
Exactly. There's a lot good about this post but this business of "finding what you love" is meaningless. There is no one thing you love. Just like there is no Mr/Mrs Right. The good advice in this blog is that the secret to succeeding at something is to stop analyzing why you're failing and do it _as if_ you love it, as if you're doing it because you love it. That also happens to be the secret to a good relationship.

drcube 15y ago

Runners and writers got over the hump to get where they're at. They didn't start out in tranquility and joy. It took some work to get to the point where it's no longer work. Like an aquired taste, there's "aquired fun".

georgieporgie 15y ago
I've read that rock climbers have a saying, "fun doesn't have to be fun." (admittedly, I never heard that in five years of active climbing, but upon hearing it I immediately understood it to be true)

alan_cx 15y ago

Um, that article is just another self improvement article. What these authors never ever do is tell you how to actually get to the ideal place as it were. All it does is lead to more frustration, defeats the point. Do I have anything to offer? Nope. Sorry.

georgieporgie 15y ago

I'm not certain I understand the author's point, but I think it might be in keeping with what Strength's Finder 2.0[1] says. Basically: don't try to improve your weaknesses, instead capitalize on your strengths. [1] http://www.strengthsfinder.com/home.aspx http://www.strengthsfinder.com/home.aspx (for the record, I heard about it on HN, bought it, did the survey, and was a bit 'meh' about the results. Basically, it told me I should be exactly what I already am, but I'm not happy as I am, so it was a bit of a wash)

SonicSoul 15y ago

i'm not sure if it's as simple as finding what you love. starting a company comes with lots of things you must force yourself to do in order to achieve the dream. just like getting a girl requires you to swallow your pride and risk rejection. you may love to run, but not waking up every day at 6am to practice for that marathon, even though the end result could be an experience of a lifetime. the self help can be of great help in pushing you to work a little harder towards your goal, and it does work. At least i can give it credit for helping me identify and overcome some self limiting beliefs i wasn't even aware i had.