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"Instagram democratizes the mental illness that used to only affect child stars and the hollywood famous." Wow. I have problems with Instragram, but I've neve

by neura 4y ago

"Instagram democratizes the mental illness that used to only affect child stars and the hollywood famous." Wow. I have problems with Instragram, but I've never tried to sum it up into a single statement and while this is rather specific and may not include all the problems I _feel_ are there, it really does bring home the main issue, for me. A little snark in there about democratizing, as some people will always put a positive spin on such things, which I feel is totally appropriate here. Just... The comment could have stopped right there and been as or more impactful (for me). Thanks. :)

eganist 4y ago
> A little snark in there about democratizing, as some people will always put a positive spin on such things Let's try this: "Instagram makes pandemic the mental illness that used to only affect child stars and the hollywood famous."
- neura 4y ago
  Is that any more accurate though? I agree that the headline is snark, but... content creators are a large part of the problem, though it's such a complex problem that I'm not sure how to even guess at which is more liable unless you simply take the "whoever is the last in the production line has the ability to prevent this kind of content" view, in which case it's pretty obviously ... well, I was going to say obvious the content provider, but no... it's you. The problem is likely you, and your inability to avoid this kind of content.</more-snark>
ncpa-cpl 4y ago
> Wow. I have problems with Instragram I remember that for a few months before my partner broke up with me, their IG feed was full of reels, posts, 'comedy', 'psychology tips', about people complaining about their partners. And also lots of Insta influencers posts giving relationship tips or encouraging people to break up for diverse reasons. While I'm aware my relationship wasn't perfect, the standards promoted by those aesthetic Insta influencers were really impossible to obtain in real life. Unless of course your life consisted only of perfectly curated Insta moments.
- logifail 4y ago
  > While I'm aware my relationship wasn't perfect [...] My $0.02: We are taught not to aim for perfection at work[0], that should apply to relationships too. [0] https://hbr.org/tip/2020/02/dont-let-perfect-be-the-enemy-of-good https://hbr.org/tip/2020/02/dont-let-perfect-be-the-enemy-of...
  - pixl97 4y ago
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secretary_problem https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secretary_problem >It is also known as the marriage problem, the sultan's dowry problem, the fussy suitor problem, the googol game, and the best choice problem. The internet and the options it gives, I believes leads people to think they have far more relationship options then they actually have, and the options they think they have are not as good as they believe. A lot of people put a lot of work in selling a perfect image online, but those rarely hold up in reality for any amount of time. Of course this doesn't mean we should stay in bad relationships either. Our society doesn't really teach us how to have good relationships, especially in a capitalistic fashion (hey, just spend more money and everything will be ok), and quite a lot of us had really poor examples from our parents generation on how to treat other people.
    - neura 4y ago
      I just want to note one little difference. "The internet and the >perceived< options it gives, ..."
- kodah 4y ago
  If someone is constantly projecting relationship advice social media topics on you'd I'd venture to say you're in an abusive/manipulative relationship as opposed to a healthy one. Glad you got out. I've learned more recently that healthy relationships aren't empirically so. Instead, there's "signs" of a healthy relationship; determining the health of your relationship must be a two way conversation. It requires assessment, honesty, and participation by both parties as a qualifier as well as the ability to listen without your ego involved. That's not to say all of those aren't challenging things to do in their own right just to say that the health of a relationship will be explored differently by different sets of people.

by neura 4y ago

eganist 4y ago

> A little snark in there about democratizing, as some people will always put a positive spin on such things Let's try this: "Instagram makes pandemic the mental illness that used to only affect child stars and the hollywood famous."

neura 4y ago
Is that any more accurate though? I agree that the headline is snark, but... content creators are a large part of the problem, though it's such a complex problem that I'm not sure how to even guess at which is more liable unless you simply take the "whoever is the last in the production line has the ability to prevent this kind of content" view, in which case it's pretty obviously ... well, I was going to say obvious the content provider, but no... it's you. The problem is likely you, and your inability to avoid this kind of content.</more-snark>

ncpa-cpl 4y ago

> Wow. I have problems with Instragram I remember that for a few months before my partner broke up with me, their IG feed was full of reels, posts, 'comedy', 'psychology tips', about people complaining about their partners. And also lots of Insta influencers posts giving relationship tips or encouraging people to break up for diverse reasons. While I'm aware my relationship wasn't perfect, the standards promoted by those aesthetic Insta influencers were really impossible to obtain in real life. Unless of course your life consisted only of perfectly curated Insta moments.

logifail 4y ago
> While I'm aware my relationship wasn't perfect [...] My $0.02: We are taught not to aim for perfection at work[0], that should apply to relationships too. [0] https://hbr.org/tip/2020/02/dont-let-perfect-be-the-enemy-of-good https://hbr.org/tip/2020/02/dont-let-perfect-be-the-enemy-of...
- pixl97 4y ago
  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secretary_problem https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secretary_problem >It is also known as the marriage problem, the sultan's dowry problem, the fussy suitor problem, the googol game, and the best choice problem. The internet and the options it gives, I believes leads people to think they have far more relationship options then they actually have, and the options they think they have are not as good as they believe. A lot of people put a lot of work in selling a perfect image online, but those rarely hold up in reality for any amount of time. Of course this doesn't mean we should stay in bad relationships either. Our society doesn't really teach us how to have good relationships, especially in a capitalistic fashion (hey, just spend more money and everything will be ok), and quite a lot of us had really poor examples from our parents generation on how to treat other people.
  - neura 4y ago
    I just want to note one little difference. "The internet and the >perceived< options it gives, ..."
kodah 4y ago
If someone is constantly projecting relationship advice social media topics on you'd I'd venture to say you're in an abusive/manipulative relationship as opposed to a healthy one. Glad you got out. I've learned more recently that healthy relationships aren't empirically so. Instead, there's "signs" of a healthy relationship; determining the health of your relationship must be a two way conversation. It requires assessment, honesty, and participation by both parties as a qualifier as well as the ability to listen without your ego involved. That's not to say all of those aren't challenging things to do in their own right just to say that the health of a relationship will be explored differently by different sets of people.