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The response is how to take basic steps to protect one's self. Steps that are already common among women. Basic safety steps are not victim blaming, for example
by sn0wf1re 4y ago
The response is how to take basic steps to protect one's self. Steps that are already common among women. Basic safety steps are not victim blaming, for example, wearing bright clothing at night to reduce the chance of being injured by motor vehicle.
It seems you are implying that the comment is victim blaming, or if I take your statement less charitably it is flame bait implying that the comment above would cause outrage if the genders were swapped.
- LanceH 4y ago> Understanding that will help you plan your dates accordingly so that she can feel a lot more comfortable, and you'll both have a much better time. All the points were valid, but when people talk about the invisibility of male victims...this is it.
- saagarjha 4y agoThis advice is literally exactly what every woman is told. It has nothing to do with male victims.
- chitowneats 4y agoThe article is about overwhelmingly male victims. It's not always about you!
- ZGDUwpqEWpUZ 4y agoSaagar is a male forename, but yes, reducing kidnapping to "losing your wallet" in an attempt at whataboutery is a bit tasteless.
- chitowneats 4y agoYou're right. I assumed the commenter was male. I'm just recalling how many times women in my life said that to me in response to me daring to bring up any male-centered concerns. Things like Me Too witch hunts of men later proven to be innocent.
- mattzito 4y agoI have been able to have constructive conversations about things like false rape accusations with women by engaging constructively and having specific, salient points about them. When I have seen them go very badly, it is almost always because the man comes at the conversation as there is somehow some equivalence or at least relative importance. And there absolutely is not anything close to equivalence. Sexual violence is so prevalent among women that I know several women who have been assaulted multiple times. I once was having a deep conversation with two female friends and one of them started to tell a story that was obviously hard to tell, and when she paused, the other friend said without emotion, “so, what’s this going to be, rape or no rape?” (It was rape) So yes, sure “me too witch hunts” are a real bummer, but telling that to a woman who has a not-insignificant percent chance of having been assaulted for real seems tone deaf, to put it mildly.
- chitowneats 4y agoAnd yet, TFA is about a completely separate phenomenon. Why are you seemingly incapable of staying on topic by discussing it?
- mattzito 4y agoThis your definition of on-topic? > I'm just recalling how many times women in my life said that to me in response to me daring to bring up any male-centered concerns. Things like Me Too witch hunts of men later proven to be innocent. This is also in a larger thread correctly identifying that this is a situation that women have had to deal with for years - with no one saying it is acceptable.
- chitowneats 4y agoEvery single comment I've made in this thread was made with the intent of chiding those who are off topic. "We didn't start the fire! Da nah nah nah nah nah"
- 4y ago
- autoexec 4y agoI too thought your criticizing was overaggressive, but I'll grant you one thing: the comment "You may know that you're not the man who does that, but they don't, and the consequences can be worse than losing your wallet." does give the impression that the worst thing male victims might suffer is a "lost wallet" when the article makes it clear that these attacks against men are violent and have included homicides I'm not convinced that the commenter was intentionally trivializing the attacks on these men, but it's likely that the way it was phrased would have that effect.
- luckylion 4y ago> Basic safety steps are not victim blaming I agree, but it's 100% called victim blaming when you apply it to women. "We shouldn't have to do anything differently", "teach men not to rape" etc etc. I don't think anyone here disagrees, they're pointing out the double standard.
- skyyler 4y agoBut women already get that advice of meeting in public / telling friends... If this is some kind of "gotcha", I think you're doing it wrong.
- luckylion 4y agoGo give women that advice, see what happens. Again, it's solid advice. But you'll get torn apart if you publicly give "be safe first, be right second" advice to women.
- JohnFen 4y agoYou don't need to give that advice to women. They've already gotten it, almost certainly from other women. Given how women are often treated by men, I totally understand why they would chafe at being given this sort of advice from a man. I would, too, if I were in their shoes. Apparently there are a lot of men who haven't received this advice from anyone, though, even though it always applied to them as well.
- birdyrooster 4y ago> Given how women are often treated by other women, I totally understand why they would chafe at being given this sort of advice. I think it is ad-hominem fallacy to say that an argument's provenance changes it in any significant way whether it comes from a man or a woman.
- kadoban 4y ago> I think it is ad-hominem fallacy to say that an argument's provenance changes Advice isn't an argument.