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Throwaway. I’m looking for advice. I live in a decently big city, I make very good money - close to 200k which is far above what most people here pull in. Lead

Throwaway. I’m looking for advice. I live in a decently big city, I make very good money - close to 200k which is far above what most people here pull in. Lead teams of people. Am in mid 30s, well over 6ft. White. My (few) sexual partners couldn’t get enough. I work out with a generous physique, get compliments that I can’t even accept these days. I’m extremely jaded. I stopped talking/interacting and even making eye contact with women despite working in an industry essentially dominated by them. I’m not sure what to do because the idea that a few men are getting all the women does not sit well with me at all. Even if I could be one of them, to me it’s a society-ruining move and I can’t in good faith participate. So I feel disgust and this disgust is turning me into a misogynist. I’d like to hear some thoughts as to how to get out of this rut and interact with women again without feeling like I’m being used, and that the average man out there can only dream of being in my position as he faces insurmountable rejection and will also be used in a far worse way than me. It just sounds like a kick in the balls.

amir734jj 4y ago
Deleted.
- causticthrow 4y ago
  Pardon for deftness - what does this have to do with incels?
  - amir734jj 4y ago
    With rise in expectations, rise in cost of living, housing price increase, in 10 years there will be either single men who rather live alone OR very few prince charming. No third option.
    - causticthrow 4y ago
      I’m looking for advice on avoiding being a jaded misogynist, not economic forecasts 10 years down the road.
catsforai 4y ago
[dead]
jimbokun 4y ago
Find someone to marry and settle down. Then you won’t be part of the society ruining.
- causticthrow 4y ago
  My issue, and it is part of my disgust and the turning into a misogynist, is that I’ve majorly lost trust in the goodwill of women. The issue is that I’m singled out over mostly things I couldn’t choose, and the average joe that didn’t hit this lotto won’t even be looked at by the woman I settle down with. Me knowing this means I have no respect for her. My sympathy for men is turning into misogyny.
  - DoreenMichele 4y ago
    First, realize that women are just people too and "ninety percent of everything is crap." If you do wish to marry and settle down, you need only ONE good woman and you need to NOT crap all over her the minute you meet her because of baggage. 1. Very beautiful women sometimes set up dating profiles with no photos or take other measures to attract men for reasons other than how photogenic they are. 2. Hobbies are a good way to meet people you have things in common with and can present the opportunity to get to know someone socially before you get jiggy. 3. Sometimes introductions via friends can work out. If you are genuinely friends with someone and they know someone that they have sized up and concluded they are not a nutter, etc, sometimes that works surprisingly well.
    - causticthrow 4y ago
      Hey Doreen - hope you’re doing better. 1. I haven’t done online dating at all. What I’ve seen in real life is hit and miss. I know too much of the corporate world. Marital affairs, sleeping for promotions, sex parties with upper management/C-levels, you name it. 2. I have hobbies in the arts where I excel, am recognized, and there are lots of women. 3. My closest friends are hardcore players which doesn’t help. While your list would be good for someone looking for a date and/or a way to stand out, in my case it doesn’t help. Rebuilding trust when I’m surrounded by what I equate to vipers isn’t a matter of finding someone good. Even if I did, I wouldn’t trust them based on past experiences and things I see day to day.
raitchev1 4y ago
[dead]
mettamage 4y ago
Feel free to email me and have a call. I am an average guy that’s rocking it
uptownfunk 4y ago
Honestly, probably not the answer you’re looking for, but finding faith and belief in a higher power.
jjj123 4y ago
You sound very in your own head about this. I wonder if things you’ve read online from HN/Reddit are coloring your perception of your in-person interactions. I encourage you to stop homogenizing 50% of the population because of some general statistical shift. Even if on average what you say is true (I’m not convinced but just taking it as a given for the sake of argument), it’s not true for every individual you meet. You don’t need to blindly trust every woman you meet, but give them a chance to show you whether they’re a “viper” or not without pre-judgement.

amir734jj 4y ago

Deleted.

causticthrow 4y ago
Pardon for deftness - what does this have to do with incels?
- amir734jj 4y ago
  With rise in expectations, rise in cost of living, housing price increase, in 10 years there will be either single men who rather live alone OR very few prince charming. No third option.
  - causticthrow 4y ago
    I’m looking for advice on avoiding being a jaded misogynist, not economic forecasts 10 years down the road.

catsforai 4y ago

[dead]

jimbokun 4y ago

Find someone to marry and settle down. Then you won’t be part of the society ruining.

causticthrow 4y ago
My issue, and it is part of my disgust and the turning into a misogynist, is that I’ve majorly lost trust in the goodwill of women. The issue is that I’m singled out over mostly things I couldn’t choose, and the average joe that didn’t hit this lotto won’t even be looked at by the woman I settle down with. Me knowing this means I have no respect for her. My sympathy for men is turning into misogyny.
- DoreenMichele 4y ago
  First, realize that women are just people too and "ninety percent of everything is crap." If you do wish to marry and settle down, you need only ONE good woman and you need to NOT crap all over her the minute you meet her because of baggage. 1. Very beautiful women sometimes set up dating profiles with no photos or take other measures to attract men for reasons other than how photogenic they are. 2. Hobbies are a good way to meet people you have things in common with and can present the opportunity to get to know someone socially before you get jiggy. 3. Sometimes introductions via friends can work out. If you are genuinely friends with someone and they know someone that they have sized up and concluded they are not a nutter, etc, sometimes that works surprisingly well.
  - causticthrow 4y ago
    Hey Doreen - hope you’re doing better. 1. I haven’t done online dating at all. What I’ve seen in real life is hit and miss. I know too much of the corporate world. Marital affairs, sleeping for promotions, sex parties with upper management/C-levels, you name it. 2. I have hobbies in the arts where I excel, am recognized, and there are lots of women. 3. My closest friends are hardcore players which doesn’t help. While your list would be good for someone looking for a date and/or a way to stand out, in my case it doesn’t help. Rebuilding trust when I’m surrounded by what I equate to vipers isn’t a matter of finding someone good. Even if I did, I wouldn’t trust them based on past experiences and things I see day to day.

raitchev1 4y ago

[dead]

mettamage 4y ago

Feel free to email me and have a call. I am an average guy that’s rocking it

uptownfunk 4y ago

Honestly, probably not the answer you’re looking for, but finding faith and belief in a higher power.

jjj123 4y ago

You sound very in your own head about this. I wonder if things you’ve read online from HN/Reddit are coloring your perception of your in-person interactions. I encourage you to stop homogenizing 50% of the population because of some general statistical shift. Even if on average what you say is true (I’m not convinced but just taking it as a given for the sake of argument), it’s not true for every individual you meet. You don’t need to blindly trust every woman you meet, but give them a chance to show you whether they’re a “viper” or not without pre-judgement.