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Best advice I got was from my psychology professor. He said "if someone asks you to do something, especially in a social situation, tell them you will think abo
by vouaobrasil 4y ago
Best advice I got was from my psychology professor. He said "if someone asks you to do something, especially in a social situation, tell them you will think about it". It prevents you from saying yes under pressure. I still rememeber using it when someone at my old workplace wanted me to sign up to be in a club (that had a fee). I never joined and I am proud that I didn't.
Also, I've learned a few things from Jordan Peterson: (1) reframe accurately what someone is telling you when they have a problem, and (2) give someome very specific positive feedback when they do something you like.
Finally, from my mom: don't care what other people think (in the sense of not letting it get in the way of doing something you know is right for you).
And a little bit of advice from myself: less is more. Don't accumulate things, don't go after the latest gadgets. Knowledge is power but too much knowledge (in the factual, scientific sense of knowledge) can take up mental space that would be better for personal development and care for others. And show respect for others AND the whole planet. It is what gave us life, and it's not a resource to use to create mostly irrelevant crap like AI and the latest iPhone.
- iLoveOncall 4y ago> if someone asks you to do something, especially in a social situation, tell them you will think about it There's not a single socially capable person that will not straight away understand that "I will think about it" means "no". May as well say no.
- Joeri 4y agoNot if you will genuinely think about it. The assumption that it means no is often wrong. I’m cautious and say this often to things I then afterwards say yes to.
- vaylian 4y agoI will think about it
- russelldjimmy 4y agoWhat is the way to genuinely communicate “I will think about it” then?
- iLoveOncall 4y agoExplain which aspects you need to think about and why, and give a deadline for when you'll have the answer about those particular aspects. The cases where you genuinely need to "think about it" are few and far between. I would even go as far as saying they are inexistant. The vast majority will be "I don't want to do it, but do I like you enough to do it?".
- vouaobrasil 4y agoDisagree. Sometimes, I really do need to think about it...and especially with people I love (family and close friends), I sometimes do come back and say yes! And to be honest, I couldn't care less what others perceive.
- astura 4y ago>He said "if someone asks you to do something, especially in a social situation, tell them you will think about it". It prevents you from saying yes under pressure. This is actually extremely obnoxious behavior and a big reason I stopped speaking to my mother. If the answer is "no" say "no." Only say "I'll think about it" if you really intend on thinking about it with a plan on when you'll get back to that person. OR the person you're talking to is a salesperson who is someone you will literally never see again. If you have trouble saying no, then it's best to work on THAT.
- vouaobrasil 4y agoI don't have a problem saying no. Like I said, I sometimes do come back and say "yes", and I can recall such instances. When I mean no, I say no.