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Ask HN: Again: The “I want to do everything but end up doing nothing” dilemma

233 points by sidcool 4y ago

This thread is from 2015 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=9049208 I have bookmarked it and read it sometimes. Is there a 2022 version of the thread we want to create? Things surely have changed a lot since 2015.

t-3 4y ago
> Things surely have changed a lot since 2015. Not really. The only way to actually get things done is to do them, and that will never change. Planning and daydreaming is very satisfying and feels much easier than actually doing, but it's a dopamine trap. Plain old setting a schedule and applying self-discipline is the simplest way forward...
- dev_0 4y ago
  Never tell others what you gonna do unles you have done it.
- MonkeyClub 4y ago
  > The only way to actually get things done is to do them, and that will never change. This is the most blunt, real, and effective advice that can be given. It is very important to emphasize that daydreaming of doing everything (and all at once), is a dopamine trap! No matter how long one mentally masturbates on a beautiful idea, it’s only through charting a course, breaking the problem down, and going through the motions and the steps to completion, humbly and dutifully, that will yield any results. Another commenter, unfortunately downvoted, also said something important: > Never tell others what you gonna do unles you have done it. This is equally important advice, as it falls in the dopamine trap category. Namely, refrain from satisfying the creative urge merely by talking about it. Instead, act first, and talk about the results. Goes without saying, but let’s say it anyway: of course this doesn’t mean that you should hide like a mad scientist; communication is crucial in creation. Just don’t spend all your time talking about all the nice things you’d have done, if you weren’t spending your time just talking about them while leaving them undone. Also, if the thing you want to make has some sort of personal meaning or cause, that’s a great impetus. And don’t forget to fail, and don’t be afraid to fail, either. Try, err, try again, err elsewhere, keep moving, keep learning, keep making. It’s good fun!
  - s1artibartfast 4y ago
    >> Never tell others what you gonna do unless you have done it. >This is equally important advice, as it falls in the dopamine trap category. I strongly disagree. Or at least caution that there is a trap on the other extreme. I spent a lot trying to be consistent, not committing or vocalizing a plan until I was sure. This was a big part of paralysis and stagnation for me. like you said, dont be all talk, but dont be afraid to take a position, communicate a desire, and try things. This is necessary to make progress in an uncertain world. Just be upfront with yourself and others if you change your position. You dont need to be consistent, it is more important to be honest.
    - dack 4y ago
      agreed, I think this trap is related to fear of failure. if you're not telling people your plans because you're worried you won't finish, that might be bad. but then you don't want to take any credit for simply making me g plans either. maybe better to discuss what you have done _so far_ toward your goal
      - dev_0 4y ago
        Read Art of Impossible by Steven Kotler
christophilus 4y ago
Human nature doesn’t change all that much. That thread is still relevant. The secret ingredient is “No”. I think it was Warren Buffett who said, “Really successful people say no to almost everything.” That seems to have been true of successful people from every time period that I’ve read about.
- hrgiger 4y ago
  Certainly he is an exceptional programmer
- q-base 4y ago
  Really successful people get a lot of offers to say "no" to. It was probably Derek Sivers, whom is mentioned elsewhere in this thread, that said: Early in your career, or when just starting something new - say "yes" to everything. You are collecting opportunities. Later once you have found or reached a sustainable level - then you can say "no" to everything.
fideloper 4y ago
Seven years ago I wasn’t married, didn’t have kids, nor a mortgage. Now I have all of that. Decisions are often made for me as I prioritize meeting the demands of higher minimum income and time spent with family and kids. For better or for worse, growing older and gaining extra responsibilities acts as a forcing function. You need to prioritize more ruthlessly. Choosing what to spend time is harder! The opportunity cost increases as you have less time available to spend on yourself. Choosing, therefore, becomes a bigger gamble. If you’re relatively free in time, you should come up with a framework on making decisions on what to work with. It will depend on your goals - making a business, learning an instrument, learning skills to further your career - whatever. Make a goal and act in ways that furthers your goal.
- josephferano 4y ago
  Very relatable what you wrote. I became a digital nomad in my mid 30s. It was great at first, but then it got to the point where I engineered too much freedom in my life. The result was indeed paralyzing. Suffered some of the worst indecision in my life, in my mid 30s! During covid times, I met my wife, we had a son together and now we're a digital nomad family. Having a family removed a whole range of choices that let me narrow into the obvious and not have to stress out about what to focus on. In a way it's been more liberating, to take on these constraints and responsibility. I know it sounds counterintuitive but I think Jocko got it right with "Discipline Equals Freedom".
  - sjducb 4y ago
    In 3 months I'm going to take my family (wife and 3 year old) on a 6 month trip. My goal is to become a digital nomad family with "bases" where we have family and friends. The rough plan is Bali, Japan, Sri Lanka, Kerala(India). Do you have any advice or tips? My biggest question is how do you meet other digital nomad families? I've done a lot of solo travel, and on the way I'd occasionally meet a traveling family, but they were pretty rare.
    - kirso 4y ago
      Nomadlist is one of the places, also digitalnomad subreddit?
auxfil 4y ago
Rationalise your loss of freedom to family life as much as you need to.
PaulHoule 4y ago
If you need to know one thing about management it is https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kanban https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kanban If you peel away all the controversial things about scrum in software development you are left with "finish what you start". It's also a common practice in cafes and restaurants.
- ResearchCode 4y ago
  Also known as a to-do list outside of Japan. It's a valid tool, mostly unlike the corporate agile insanity that often comes with it.
pryelluw 4y ago
Not much has changed unless yourself did. Then fundamentals still stand: - figure out what you want - figure out how to get it First point is the hardest. Since most of us don’t really know what we want. We might describe an incomplete picture at best. Hardly a clear vision. So start with what you don’t want and go from there. Second point is about organizational skills. Research, plan, execute, iterate. Rinse and repeat. Don’t forget to be kind to yourself. The world is has enough without an enemy within.
- prox 4y ago
  Yeah, that sounds somewhat familiar. To add, I recently read this book :“love+work” by Marcus Buckingham. His insights are really good at what decades of research have taught him about loving your work (and how to get there)
  - pryelluw 4y ago
    Love the work? No, not at all. Love one aspect, part, degree, radian, whatever of it. Just one thing. Don’t go for full on love. Cause you fall out of love and then what? Love a part of it and then you can keep it going for longer.
    - prox 4y ago
      Oh, to be clear, that is exactly what he mentions in the book, that you need only get specific about the part you love.
pkrotich 4y ago
It’s a struggle still! I get some must do stuff done, but I’m definitely overwhelmed with what I want to do! I call myself idea machine - but I think I have ADHD or something of sort! I’m currently reading The One Thing [0] and it’s actually making a lot of sense. Plan on giving it a try! [0] https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/16256798-the-one-thing https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/16256798-the-one-thing
pacifika 4y ago
Follow what motivates you, not what motivates others you follow.
- sidcool 4y ago
  Many people say passion and motivation are elusive. Better to be disciplined.
revskill 4y ago
Let me tell you one secret. It's not about quantity, but the quality of work you do. Less with good quality is better than more but bad quality. So yes, the dilemma is real ;) Whoever wants to do everything comes up with dirty works, which could be counted as nothing !
Mistletoe 4y ago
People’s comments then were more genial, thought out, and verbose. I’ve noticed this before reading old posts on the internet. Language is changing. We are changing. Everything is as short and direct as possible. Unfortunately leaning towards blunt and hostile. Ennui from reading the internet too much? Maybe Twitter and texting? I don’t feel like this is a change for the better.
- diceduckmonk 4y ago
  A higher proportion of people are using their cellphones to comment
- DustinBrett 4y ago
  TLDR; Life's changing. For the better?
  - Mistletoe 4y ago
    Watching the news and how people are treating each other and arguing, it doesn’t seem like life and mental health is getting better for most people. The most obvious answer for me is technology and the internet.
    - FerociousTimes 4y ago
      Mean world syndrome. If you really care about mental health and particularly your own, just cut on the consumption of online media to the bare minimum, and you'll experience improvement albeit gradual in your well-being.
- rockzom 4y ago
  Digital natives regularly post without putting sentences/paragraphs on a new line, because they're accustomed to "that button" submitting what they already wrote. Ask somebody in their 20s to hit "Return" and it's a dice roll if they know you mean the "Enter" key. The difference between desktop-first and mobile-first is far greater than I would have predicted a decade ago.
DustinBrett 4y ago
One brick at a time has been my philosophy for a while and it's worked well. Making a bucket list of life, then turning that into to do lists, then doing the things 1 by 1. - Travel around the world solo for years - Find a wife, get married & have kids - Build my dream website (https://dustinbrett.com/ https://dustinbrett.com/) - Get a job in Big Tech as a self taught developer It's been 10 years since I started living this way and it's worked out so far. Before living this way I had no real plans, just hopes.
- keiferski 4y ago
  Your commment reminded me of a quote from The Score, a 2001 film with Robert De Niro. ”You want my advice? Make a list of everything you want now and spend the next twenty five years getting it, slowly, piece by piece.”
  - AnIdiotOnTheNet 4y ago
    Works great until what you want changes.
    - devoutsalsa 4y ago
      You don’t need a list if you do it as soon as you think of it!
      - lazide 4y ago
        And that is how you end up ‘doing a lot of things, but not getting anything done’ - if you think of lots of things all the time, anyway.
      - sprkwd 4y ago
        I feel seen.
    - foogazi 4y ago
      Make another list
FerociousTimes 4y ago
The original topic that you cited is symptomatic of ineffectual autodidacticism (knowledge management) and analysis paralysis. As for the former, I recommend taking notes diligently while studying/learning new topics and filing these notes appropriately where you make consulting the original material be it YT videos, online tutorials/posts, articles or books unnecessary since your notes are more than enough and are kept up-to-date accordingly; adding, removing or archiving as you deem necessary. As for the latter, I struggled with this lately but I think that I made some progress to overcome this roadblock by making snap decisions on the spot by resorting to the old trick of "heads or tails" everytime I start to overthink a solution, and for more overwhelming alternatives, I built a custom randomizer that's fed a list of choices, and then spits the decision that I should make, and I comply with its wish enthusiastically every time. I wouldn't say that this is the most efficient decision making process out there but for me action is always far better than inaction, and I don't think that perpetual state of deliberations and contemplation was any better as it hindered any progress to be made in the name of picking the most rational or efficient course of action to be taken which it didn't seem to emerge no matter how hard I tried to think a way out of it.
- Nemi 4y ago
  I just want to share my agreement on picking any path forward when confronted with analysis paralysis. I also suffer from this and have found that ANY choice is better than no choice in this situation, precisely because moving forward gives you more information. For me making a decision in the face of uncertainty was very uncomfortable because I always want to be perfect, but what I found is that the new information you get even when you pick the wrong path forward makes making the right decision after that point orders of magnitude easier. I have trained myself to get past the discomfort of making a less-than-perfect decision to “lube the rails”, so to speak, on making future decision easier.
  - b3morales 4y ago
    Thirded, and I want to expand on your point about "picking the wrong path". For a lot of decisions (especially low-stakes ones) you don't even have to go down the path. Just having taken a decision, arbitrary as it is, gives you information. Simple example, happens often: my partner and I want to go out to eat, but can't make up our minds where. Take the top two choices and flip a coin. Then just see how you each feel about that decision the coin made. Often it reveals a stronger preference than anyone was aware of. In that case, disregard the coin's choice. And if it doesn't, then just follow the coin's choice, since you're not losing anything by it.
jerrygoyal 4y ago
Don’t be a donkey https://sive.rs/donkey https://sive.rs/donkey (Focus on one thing at a time, knowing you can do the other stuff afterwards.)
skadamat 4y ago
Derek Sivers' essay is a good one here: https://sive.rs/donkey https://sive.rs/donkey
travisgriggs 4y ago
I struggle with the recurring theme of “figure out what you want, and then go to work getting it for next N decades.” 25 year old me was stupid. He wanted things I don’t want anymore. I’m glad I wasn’t too effective at actually getting them.
- mwint 4y ago
  As a near-25yo myself, I’d be very interested to hear what these things were and why you don’t want them now.
  - ghiculescu 4y ago
    25 year old me wanted to go drinking with the boys every single night. 30 year old me doesn’t want that. Once every few weeks is enough for him.
  - Balgair 4y ago
    Younger me wanted to do things like learn 10 languages, go to grad school, get really good at judo, etc. Older me knows that languages aren't something you 'learn' as they are something you join, that 'grad school' is pointless and that your advisor is everything, that 'judo' is one of many paths to a better mind and friendships, etc. I know that sounds trite and Iroh-y, but it ends up being true. It's not the 'accomplishment' but the people that matter, including yourself. Focusing on the brass ring get you the ring, and not much else. Focusing on others get you a filled life. I know people that are enormously successful, yet are empty holes. I know of one that has both. It's not a pastiche or a fable, it's very true. I've seen a lot of people die and leave us. And I've been able to reflect on their lives. The best way, to my eyes thus far, is focusing on others. Lifting up other people, getting in with groups of good people, and helping out as you are able, those people seemed to me to have had the best lives. "I sit in my cubicle, here on the motherworld. When I die, they will put my body in a box and dispose of it in the cold ground. And in all the million ages to come, I will never breathe, or laugh, or twitch again. So won't you run and play with me here among the teeming mass of humanity? The universe has spared us this moment." https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Sid_Meier%27s_Alpha_Centauri https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Sid_Meier%27s_Alpha_Centauri
halfcat 4y ago
Here is how I have come to think of this: Understanding progress vs activity, and 3 types of effort. Rock metaphor: The goal is to deliver a big, shiny rock to the top of the mountain. You can (1) move the rock, (2) polish the rock, and (3) other distractions. * Push the rock up the hill. You have to keep pushing until you get to the next flat land. If you stop whenever you’re interrupted, the rock will roll back down to the bottom of the hill. Requires a chunk of undistracted time (Cal Newport Deep Work, etc). * Polish the rock. You can engage in this type of effort well, even with frequent interruption. Polish for 10 minutes, answer a phone call, polish another area, go to lunch, polish more, repeat until finished. * Other stuff. Sometimes required maintenance (paying bills, paperwork, etc), but often unhelpful distraction. Getting more tactical: * Bucket selection - pick the right buckets, and right number of buckets (not too many, you can only move a few rocks each day) * Move rocks in each bucket consistently (no starved buckets) Summarized: Move rocks, in a few areas, that are important to you (not to other people) To illustrate, my buckets are: day job, freelance work, trading, family, and health. Every time I’ve been “off” in life, one of those buckets has been starved (workaholic, neglect family), or I’ve had too many buckets, or one bucket explodes (family health crisis, newborn child, etc), or efforts become distracted and while much activity happens, no rocks move. Most of this I derived from The Effective Executive by Peter Drucker, originally published in 1966 (so nothing new since 2015).
kazinator 4y ago
When it comes to the computing field, there is a core to it: what is computation. What it means to have a programmable machine: and algorithms and all that jazz. The pragmatics of it: how do we design, develop, test deploy. The hardware: what computing architectures do we have and what are their strengths and limitations. On the opposite end, there are specialized applications, and in between there are application areas with specialized tools, infrastructure, software components and whatnot. You're simply not going to be an expert in every application area. Realize that, and stop trying! Buckle down and specialize. Be an expert in some subset of the abstract core, and its realization in some choice of platforms and tools that you follow, and beyond that, pick just a few application areas. Have a main area or two, and then some fringe areas that you are interested in that are little bit on the side. You can switch application areas in mid-career. Being good in one application area is better for being able to dive into another than just knowing a smattering about many areas without any expertise. Going far and deep in any application area as a developer will give you the skills to be able to work on almost anything. Any code base in any application area has lots of code that is not specifically in that are which needs general expertise and experience; you can make meaningful contributions to those areas almost from the get go. In my university time, I was crazy into OS programming: systems programming on Unix, and kernel level. I was also crazy into computer graphics. Alain Fournier (RIP, cancer) tried to award me 110% in CS414 at UBC, but he reported that the antiquated mainframe wouldn't take the value. Compilers and languages interested me, but not as much as today. I used Lex and Yacc regularly, and in one contract project I created a billing system with a custom query language. I had an interest in implementing data structures as well. There were things I was not into, like for instance databases or anything having to do with AI, or programming language semantics (other than taking one compiler construction course, for which I lacked prerequisites); when some buddies started on about what they were doing with, say, Prolog, I didn't follow that. I was impressed, but my plate was full of my current interests to be actually distracted and derailed. I had this intuition that life is long, and there will be plenty of time to get into other things, and that as long as you're constantly learning, you're preparing yourself for the stuff you don't yet know.
moron4hire 4y ago
I've found it useful, in periods of analysis paralysis and burnout, to throw away all my to-do lists, archive all my projects, and start from scratch. The backlog weighs heavily on my current efforts. So starting from scratch ditches the burden. Then, once I've made actual forward progress, I can go back to the archives and figure out how to work the new stuff in.
- alex_suzuki 4y ago
  Do you archive or delete todo items? :-) I find that archiving is far less satisfactory - finality is important.
  - moron4hire 4y ago
    Code I archive. Todo items I delete. If it's important, it'll come back up again.
quietthrow 4y ago
Inspired by your post I decided to ask the deeper question to the hive mind. https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33683106 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33683106
jpm_sd 4y ago
I graduated from engineering school 20 years ago and I've gotten to do a lot of interesting, satisfying projects since then. The advice that I give my kids (and anyone else who asks): 1) Pick one or two things at a time to get good at. When you start feeling like you've pretty much got that nailed, then pick some other way to challenge yourself. Ideally one intellectual challenge and one physical challenge. 1a) This becomes much easier under pressure. For example, instead of just "oh I want to learn something" it needs to be in the service of some larger goal. Maybe it's for your job, maybe it's for something you're doing as a hobby, but it needs to be a Project, not learning as an end in itself. 2) Incremental progress is the only kind of progress that exists. Make incremental plans. Celebrate small victories.
Ilasky 4y ago
I think doing things in little steps is the key to moving big things over time [0] - especially so with the help of others around. There's been a good amount of research showing that having others around encourages us to do things and to do them better.[1] (Actually building something if you're keen to try it to do things with others [2]) It really comes down to just doing and let the act of doing find your way. [0] https://tinyhabits.com/ https://tinyhabits.com/ [1] https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_facilitation https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_facilitation [2] https://doubleapp.xyz/blog/how-to-body-double https://doubleapp.xyz/blog/how-to-body-double
cranium 4y ago
I like the way the idea of a goal hierarchy as presented in Grit: one top-level goal which is the unifying theme of your foreseeable life, mid-level goals that are the different topics to help your reach your top-level goal, and the low-level goals for the day-to-day life. For example to become a successful entrepreneur (top), you need to understand how to run a startup (mid), raise money from investors (mid), understand your users (mid), and that comes from understanding your cash flow (low), cold mailing tens of VCs (low), interview a user (low). Deciding and committing to a top goal is the hard part in my opinion. It means to abandon the other (incompatible) goals you'd like to pursue. But focus is the best way to go forward.
spicymaki 4y ago
I have the "I want to do everything but end up doing nothing" issue, and my current hypothesis is that I have undiagnosed ADHD. I don't think that is something I will change as long as I am not causing harm to anyone else.
- b3morales 4y ago
  I don't want to be preachy, but as someone with similar issues who's navigating my way through it...it's worth considering whether you are not harming yourself, in a very passive and silent, but chronic way. Each day that goes by is gone and won't return.
sixo 4y ago
I've learn a few things about this problem over the years: "Wanting to have done something" and "wanting to DO something" are very different. E.g. "I'd like to be able to play Claire de Lune on piano", vs the deep work of becoming intimately familiar with every single note and phrase of the piece. The latter necessarily involves getting obsessed for a while; you don't be able to do it if you don't find something deeply stimulating about the specific piano piece. A lot of the things I've "wanted to do" I really just wanted to have done—I wanted to be able to do something, I wanted to know if I was capable of it. But I didn't really want to do it. I didn't really care. I just thought I was capable of all kinds of things and wanted to delight in verifying that. It had a sort of superficiality to it—my reasons for wanting all these things were not compelling enough to drive me to actually do them. (Especially faced with the immediate rewards offered by video games—games and things like that change the "weights" on your internal reward system; you can feel this if you just think about the game, it feels like everything else shifts out of focus and the anticipation of the dopamine prize expands to fill your view.) When you're in school it's relatively easy to do whatever you're told, and it doesn't really matter if you care about it. But accessing this sense of internally-generated energy that can drive you towards things that are important is a completely different skill, and you can't force it. So either: * figure out what you deeply, truly want to DO, and do that (which may be completely different from the things you enjoy imagining HAVING done) * or, think deeply about what you want to "have done", and figure out why it excites you, and focus in on that, activate your curiosity for it, and let that draw you in
- s1artibartfast 4y ago
  Agreed. At least for me "have done" goals are a trap. They are an endless list which will never be satisfied. Figuring out what you "want to do" leads to immediate satisfaction and motivation leading to a fulfilling life.
- kirso 4y ago
  This is a great comment. A good extrapolation of this on another example is: - We all want to start a startup, with a caveat that the vast majority of us don't want to sacrifice our time, energy, mental and physical health to get to the an exponential outcome with extreme costs. But the daydreaming and the lure of successes we see around us makes us think its all there is. - Perhaps instead, we can just focus on doing the craft that we actually enjoy doing as a process to get to mediocre (and sometimes extreme) outcomes since most just crave freedom of choice, not the $.
Bubble_Pop_22 4y ago
There is no higher accomplishment than living in the moment. % of time spent living in the moment is the most important metric I can think of. The "problem" is that it's something that you can't see in others, whereas wealth, assets etc. are for everybody to see and so people start competing to get those things. There lies the difference however, to call yourself a competitive person you must be able to compete without ever knowing how you are faring against others, that's the ultimate form of competition. That's also how life begins. A Spermatozoon doesn't know and won't ever know the position of other spermatozoa, if they are ahead, behind etc. in the race to get to the egg. They only know that they have to swim as fast as they possibly can. Likewise humans can't possibly know the amount of time that other humans are spending living in the moment, but, like sperm, you don't need to because your goal is to get as close as you can to 100%
sershe 4y ago
1) Doing something is better than failing to do everything. I was accumulating notes on useful low-pri habits to have / things I maybe want to do for like 7 years, hardly doing any of them. Sometimes I'd try to do all of them - start the day with a cold shower, meditate, do hard work before email, go for a walk, apply pomodoro, message a friend, exercise, 50 more things, and have a perfect day, but it's pretty much impossible to maintain. Making a list and doing one habit per week (or an approximation) I actually started to make progress and get better at some things. Ditto with exercise - consistent simple short workouts are much easier to maintain than perfect workout program with long awesome workouts. 2) For projects too, doing a little bit is better than failing to do a lot. Ditto, I've made a lot of progress on projects, especially icky ones like minor house repairs (but also e.g. personal coding projects that became hard to do quickly after my early 20ies due to other things) by committing for 10-30 minutes at a time and accepting that it might take me a year to finish. 3) Life-scale timing. That's something I really wish someone told me when I was 25, although it probably only applies to exercise. I got serious about training for climbing (my hobby) when I was 34... that is too late, and now I'm 38 and I get injured easily from intense training. I wish I did that earlier and did whatever I did then, now :) 4) Getting rid of hassles and not introducing new hassles that are not worth it. Something as simple as choosing devices/tools/appliances/building materials - how much maintenance worry does it require? How much manual labor does it add vs a more expensive/less pretty/... option? To where to live - how long do you want to spend driving around places/etc.? Feynman's bio where he describes putting on chains and his thoughts about that were very instructive for me. Then, larger choices, like I am the type of person who would enjoy skiing, but I find skiing to be logistically complicated and generally a giant hassle, so I can find similar hobbies, like climbing, with much less hassle and cost. But also larger life decisions, after looking at tons of people (from close friends/family to coworkers) with kids I choose not to have them, it's just not worth it, your whole life becomes one project with (for me) very low reward. Ditto about buying a house - an interesting tradeoff for me, cause I'd prefer semi-rural living with condo-level hassle level, but they don't build condos in rural areas ;)
sambapa 4y ago
1) Pick your goals 2) Divide them into subgoals, then divide those subgoals into subsubgoals. 3) Repeat step 2 until you have something concrete and actionable, something that you can do TODAY Bonus tips: 1) Learn how to learn (books like Make it stick, a mind for numbers etc), use spaced repetition software like Anki. 2) Prioritize sleep, diet and exercise. 3) Feelings of inadequacy never go away so relax and enjoy the ride.
HellDunkel 4y ago
I am a big daydreamer and like 99.99% of all ideas/projects i tried went nowhere. I always felt i have too many hobbies and interests and not enough time. However, in the last 10 years i managed to get some things done which i feel are quite something. What separates those from the rest? a) i got paid for doing them b) i was lucky to be there at the right time & place, due to: c) i was freelancing which gave me more opportunity to seek out interesting things to work on rather than staying in one place and doing what hierarchy tells you. a-c) made it possible to unlocked my passion and as a consequence i did not mind working hard. to be precise, by „working hard“ i mean doing 40-45 hours a week, not more but those hours i was extremely focused over a few years.
joeman1000 4y ago
I’ve found that having ‘tab groups’ (in whatever browser you fancy) has helped me to juggle around 20 different ‘interests’ at a time. Oh, it’s a Lisp sort of day? Hit the Lisp tab group and continue that weird session I started earlier in the year. Typography on my mind today? Go through and finish half of what’s in the typography tab group. It seems the same as bookmarks, but it’s just not. I used to just collect bookmarks, get overwhelmed, never read them. Tab groups are sort of ephemeral bookmarks, and I don’t have to worry about saving bookmarks in the correct folders. It more or less just sorts itself out if I open tabs inside the correct groups.
paulcole 4y ago
Maybe you really want to do nothing.
eternityforest 4y ago
I'm all about time saving strategies. I freed up insane amounts of time by decustomizing my personal use of tech. I am no longer willing to spend $100 and 30 hours to make something I could buy for $30. I no longer insist on learning everything about the tech I use, while the history book I want to read sits idle on a shelf. I no longer buy random stuff "just to try it out" when I don't have any real reason to think I'm going to enjoy having it. I don't buy random stuff for DIY projects very often if I'm not totally sure I want to do that project. I do buy things that I think will make life easier. I'm still working on social media time drains. Even this site itself is a bit of a time sink.

233 points by sidcool 4y ago

t-3 4y ago

> Things surely have changed a lot since 2015. Not really. The only way to actually get things done is to do them, and that will never change. Planning and daydreaming is very satisfying and feels much easier than actually doing, but it's a dopamine trap. Plain old setting a schedule and applying self-discipline is the simplest way forward...

dev_0 4y ago
Never tell others what you gonna do unles you have done it.
MonkeyClub 4y ago
> The only way to actually get things done is to do them, and that will never change. This is the most blunt, real, and effective advice that can be given. It is very important to emphasize that daydreaming of doing everything (and all at once), is a dopamine trap! No matter how long one mentally masturbates on a beautiful idea, it’s only through charting a course, breaking the problem down, and going through the motions and the steps to completion, humbly and dutifully, that will yield any results. Another commenter, unfortunately downvoted, also said something important: > Never tell others what you gonna do unles you have done it. This is equally important advice, as it falls in the dopamine trap category. Namely, refrain from satisfying the creative urge merely by talking about it. Instead, act first, and talk about the results. Goes without saying, but let’s say it anyway: of course this doesn’t mean that you should hide like a mad scientist; communication is crucial in creation. Just don’t spend all your time talking about all the nice things you’d have done, if you weren’t spending your time just talking about them while leaving them undone. Also, if the thing you want to make has some sort of personal meaning or cause, that’s a great impetus. And don’t forget to fail, and don’t be afraid to fail, either. Try, err, try again, err elsewhere, keep moving, keep learning, keep making. It’s good fun!
- s1artibartfast 4y ago
  >> Never tell others what you gonna do unless you have done it. >This is equally important advice, as it falls in the dopamine trap category. I strongly disagree. Or at least caution that there is a trap on the other extreme. I spent a lot trying to be consistent, not committing or vocalizing a plan until I was sure. This was a big part of paralysis and stagnation for me. like you said, dont be all talk, but dont be afraid to take a position, communicate a desire, and try things. This is necessary to make progress in an uncertain world. Just be upfront with yourself and others if you change your position. You dont need to be consistent, it is more important to be honest.
  - dack 4y ago
    agreed, I think this trap is related to fear of failure. if you're not telling people your plans because you're worried you won't finish, that might be bad. but then you don't want to take any credit for simply making me g plans either. maybe better to discuss what you have done _so far_ toward your goal
    - dev_0 4y ago
      Read Art of Impossible by Steven Kotler

christophilus 4y ago

Human nature doesn’t change all that much. That thread is still relevant. The secret ingredient is “No”. I think it was Warren Buffett who said, “Really successful people say no to almost everything.” That seems to have been true of successful people from every time period that I’ve read about.

hrgiger 4y ago
Certainly he is an exceptional programmer
q-base 4y ago
Really successful people get a lot of offers to say "no" to. It was probably Derek Sivers, whom is mentioned elsewhere in this thread, that said: Early in your career, or when just starting something new - say "yes" to everything. You are collecting opportunities. Later once you have found or reached a sustainable level - then you can say "no" to everything.

fideloper 4y ago

Seven years ago I wasn’t married, didn’t have kids, nor a mortgage. Now I have all of that. Decisions are often made for me as I prioritize meeting the demands of higher minimum income and time spent with family and kids. For better or for worse, growing older and gaining extra responsibilities acts as a forcing function. You need to prioritize more ruthlessly. Choosing what to spend time is harder! The opportunity cost increases as you have less time available to spend on yourself. Choosing, therefore, becomes a bigger gamble. If you’re relatively free in time, you should come up with a framework on making decisions on what to work with. It will depend on your goals - making a business, learning an instrument, learning skills to further your career - whatever. Make a goal and act in ways that furthers your goal.

josephferano 4y ago
Very relatable what you wrote. I became a digital nomad in my mid 30s. It was great at first, but then it got to the point where I engineered too much freedom in my life. The result was indeed paralyzing. Suffered some of the worst indecision in my life, in my mid 30s! During covid times, I met my wife, we had a son together and now we're a digital nomad family. Having a family removed a whole range of choices that let me narrow into the obvious and not have to stress out about what to focus on. In a way it's been more liberating, to take on these constraints and responsibility. I know it sounds counterintuitive but I think Jocko got it right with "Discipline Equals Freedom".
- sjducb 4y ago
  In 3 months I'm going to take my family (wife and 3 year old) on a 6 month trip. My goal is to become a digital nomad family with "bases" where we have family and friends. The rough plan is Bali, Japan, Sri Lanka, Kerala(India). Do you have any advice or tips? My biggest question is how do you meet other digital nomad families? I've done a lot of solo travel, and on the way I'd occasionally meet a traveling family, but they were pretty rare.
  - kirso 4y ago
    Nomadlist is one of the places, also digitalnomad subreddit?

auxfil 4y ago

Rationalise your loss of freedom to family life as much as you need to.

PaulHoule 4y ago

If you need to know one thing about management it is https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kanban https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kanban If you peel away all the controversial things about scrum in software development you are left with "finish what you start". It's also a common practice in cafes and restaurants.

ResearchCode 4y ago
Also known as a to-do list outside of Japan. It's a valid tool, mostly unlike the corporate agile insanity that often comes with it.

pryelluw 4y ago

Not much has changed unless yourself did. Then fundamentals still stand: - figure out what you want - figure out how to get it First point is the hardest. Since most of us don’t really know what we want. We might describe an incomplete picture at best. Hardly a clear vision. So start with what you don’t want and go from there. Second point is about organizational skills. Research, plan, execute, iterate. Rinse and repeat. Don’t forget to be kind to yourself. The world is has enough without an enemy within.

prox 4y ago
Yeah, that sounds somewhat familiar. To add, I recently read this book :“love+work” by Marcus Buckingham. His insights are really good at what decades of research have taught him about loving your work (and how to get there)
- pryelluw 4y ago
  Love the work? No, not at all. Love one aspect, part, degree, radian, whatever of it. Just one thing. Don’t go for full on love. Cause you fall out of love and then what? Love a part of it and then you can keep it going for longer.
  - prox 4y ago
    Oh, to be clear, that is exactly what he mentions in the book, that you need only get specific about the part you love.

pkrotich 4y ago

It’s a struggle still! I get some must do stuff done, but I’m definitely overwhelmed with what I want to do! I call myself idea machine - but I think I have ADHD or something of sort! I’m currently reading The One Thing [0] and it’s actually making a lot of sense. Plan on giving it a try! [0] https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/16256798-the-one-thing https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/16256798-the-one-thing

pacifika 4y ago

Follow what motivates you, not what motivates others you follow.

sidcool 4y ago
Many people say passion and motivation are elusive. Better to be disciplined.

revskill 4y ago

Let me tell you one secret. It's not about quantity, but the quality of work you do. Less with good quality is better than more but bad quality. So yes, the dilemma is real ;) Whoever wants to do everything comes up with dirty works, which could be counted as nothing !

Mistletoe 4y ago

People’s comments then were more genial, thought out, and verbose. I’ve noticed this before reading old posts on the internet. Language is changing. We are changing. Everything is as short and direct as possible. Unfortunately leaning towards blunt and hostile. Ennui from reading the internet too much? Maybe Twitter and texting? I don’t feel like this is a change for the better.

diceduckmonk 4y ago
A higher proportion of people are using their cellphones to comment
DustinBrett 4y ago
TLDR; Life's changing. For the better?
- Mistletoe 4y ago
  Watching the news and how people are treating each other and arguing, it doesn’t seem like life and mental health is getting better for most people. The most obvious answer for me is technology and the internet.
  - FerociousTimes 4y ago
    Mean world syndrome. If you really care about mental health and particularly your own, just cut on the consumption of online media to the bare minimum, and you'll experience improvement albeit gradual in your well-being.
rockzom 4y ago
Digital natives regularly post without putting sentences/paragraphs on a new line, because they're accustomed to "that button" submitting what they already wrote. Ask somebody in their 20s to hit "Return" and it's a dice roll if they know you mean the "Enter" key. The difference between desktop-first and mobile-first is far greater than I would have predicted a decade ago.

DustinBrett 4y ago

One brick at a time has been my philosophy for a while and it's worked well. Making a bucket list of life, then turning that into to do lists, then doing the things 1 by 1. - Travel around the world solo for years - Find a wife, get married & have kids - Build my dream website (https://dustinbrett.com/ https://dustinbrett.com/) - Get a job in Big Tech as a self taught developer It's been 10 years since I started living this way and it's worked out so far. Before living this way I had no real plans, just hopes.

keiferski 4y ago
Your commment reminded me of a quote from The Score, a 2001 film with Robert De Niro. ”You want my advice? Make a list of everything you want now and spend the next twenty five years getting it, slowly, piece by piece.”
- AnIdiotOnTheNet 4y ago
  Works great until what you want changes.
  - devoutsalsa 4y ago
    You don’t need a list if you do it as soon as you think of it!
    - lazide 4y ago
      And that is how you end up ‘doing a lot of things, but not getting anything done’ - if you think of lots of things all the time, anyway.
    - sprkwd 4y ago
      I feel seen.
  - foogazi 4y ago
    Make another list

FerociousTimes 4y ago

The original topic that you cited is symptomatic of ineffectual autodidacticism (knowledge management) and analysis paralysis. As for the former, I recommend taking notes diligently while studying/learning new topics and filing these notes appropriately where you make consulting the original material be it YT videos, online tutorials/posts, articles or books unnecessary since your notes are more than enough and are kept up-to-date accordingly; adding, removing or archiving as you deem necessary. As for the latter, I struggled with this lately but I think that I made some progress to overcome this roadblock by making snap decisions on the spot by resorting to the old trick of "heads or tails" everytime I start to overthink a solution, and for more overwhelming alternatives, I built a custom randomizer that's fed a list of choices, and then spits the decision that I should make, and I comply with its wish enthusiastically every time. I wouldn't say that this is the most efficient decision making process out there but for me action is always far better than inaction, and I don't think that perpetual state of deliberations and contemplation was any better as it hindered any progress to be made in the name of picking the most rational or efficient course of action to be taken which it didn't seem to emerge no matter how hard I tried to think a way out of it.

Nemi 4y ago
I just want to share my agreement on picking any path forward when confronted with analysis paralysis. I also suffer from this and have found that ANY choice is better than no choice in this situation, precisely because moving forward gives you more information. For me making a decision in the face of uncertainty was very uncomfortable because I always want to be perfect, but what I found is that the new information you get even when you pick the wrong path forward makes making the right decision after that point orders of magnitude easier. I have trained myself to get past the discomfort of making a less-than-perfect decision to “lube the rails”, so to speak, on making future decision easier.
- b3morales 4y ago
  Thirded, and I want to expand on your point about "picking the wrong path". For a lot of decisions (especially low-stakes ones) you don't even have to go down the path. Just having taken a decision, arbitrary as it is, gives you information. Simple example, happens often: my partner and I want to go out to eat, but can't make up our minds where. Take the top two choices and flip a coin. Then just see how you each feel about that decision the coin made. Often it reveals a stronger preference than anyone was aware of. In that case, disregard the coin's choice. And if it doesn't, then just follow the coin's choice, since you're not losing anything by it.

jerrygoyal 4y ago

Don’t be a donkey https://sive.rs/donkey https://sive.rs/donkey (Focus on one thing at a time, knowing you can do the other stuff afterwards.)

skadamat 4y ago

Derek Sivers' essay is a good one here: https://sive.rs/donkey https://sive.rs/donkey

travisgriggs 4y ago

I struggle with the recurring theme of “figure out what you want, and then go to work getting it for next N decades.” 25 year old me was stupid. He wanted things I don’t want anymore. I’m glad I wasn’t too effective at actually getting them.

mwint 4y ago
As a near-25yo myself, I’d be very interested to hear what these things were and why you don’t want them now.
- ghiculescu 4y ago
  25 year old me wanted to go drinking with the boys every single night. 30 year old me doesn’t want that. Once every few weeks is enough for him.
- Balgair 4y ago
  Younger me wanted to do things like learn 10 languages, go to grad school, get really good at judo, etc. Older me knows that languages aren't something you 'learn' as they are something you join, that 'grad school' is pointless and that your advisor is everything, that 'judo' is one of many paths to a better mind and friendships, etc. I know that sounds trite and Iroh-y, but it ends up being true. It's not the 'accomplishment' but the people that matter, including yourself. Focusing on the brass ring get you the ring, and not much else. Focusing on others get you a filled life. I know people that are enormously successful, yet are empty holes. I know of one that has both. It's not a pastiche or a fable, it's very true. I've seen a lot of people die and leave us. And I've been able to reflect on their lives. The best way, to my eyes thus far, is focusing on others. Lifting up other people, getting in with groups of good people, and helping out as you are able, those people seemed to me to have had the best lives. "I sit in my cubicle, here on the motherworld. When I die, they will put my body in a box and dispose of it in the cold ground. And in all the million ages to come, I will never breathe, or laugh, or twitch again. So won't you run and play with me here among the teeming mass of humanity? The universe has spared us this moment." https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Sid_Meier%27s_Alpha_Centauri https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Sid_Meier%27s_Alpha_Centauri

halfcat 4y ago

Here is how I have come to think of this: Understanding progress vs activity, and 3 types of effort. Rock metaphor: The goal is to deliver a big, shiny rock to the top of the mountain. You can (1) move the rock, (2) polish the rock, and (3) other distractions. * Push the rock up the hill. You have to keep pushing until you get to the next flat land. If you stop whenever you’re interrupted, the rock will roll back down to the bottom of the hill. Requires a chunk of undistracted time (Cal Newport Deep Work, etc). * Polish the rock. You can engage in this type of effort well, even with frequent interruption. Polish for 10 minutes, answer a phone call, polish another area, go to lunch, polish more, repeat until finished. * Other stuff. Sometimes required maintenance (paying bills, paperwork, etc), but often unhelpful distraction. Getting more tactical: * Bucket selection - pick the right buckets, and right number of buckets (not too many, you can only move a few rocks each day) * Move rocks in each bucket consistently (no starved buckets) Summarized: Move rocks, in a few areas, that are important to you (not to other people) To illustrate, my buckets are: day job, freelance work, trading, family, and health. Every time I’ve been “off” in life, one of those buckets has been starved (workaholic, neglect family), or I’ve had too many buckets, or one bucket explodes (family health crisis, newborn child, etc), or efforts become distracted and while much activity happens, no rocks move. Most of this I derived from The Effective Executive by Peter Drucker, originally published in 1966 (so nothing new since 2015).

kazinator 4y ago

When it comes to the computing field, there is a core to it: what is computation. What it means to have a programmable machine: and algorithms and all that jazz. The pragmatics of it: how do we design, develop, test deploy. The hardware: what computing architectures do we have and what are their strengths and limitations. On the opposite end, there are specialized applications, and in between there are application areas with specialized tools, infrastructure, software components and whatnot. You're simply not going to be an expert in every application area. Realize that, and stop trying! Buckle down and specialize. Be an expert in some subset of the abstract core, and its realization in some choice of platforms and tools that you follow, and beyond that, pick just a few application areas. Have a main area or two, and then some fringe areas that you are interested in that are little bit on the side. You can switch application areas in mid-career. Being good in one application area is better for being able to dive into another than just knowing a smattering about many areas without any expertise. Going far and deep in any application area as a developer will give you the skills to be able to work on almost anything. Any code base in any application area has lots of code that is not specifically in that are which needs general expertise and experience; you can make meaningful contributions to those areas almost from the get go. In my university time, I was crazy into OS programming: systems programming on Unix, and kernel level. I was also crazy into computer graphics. Alain Fournier (RIP, cancer) tried to award me 110% in CS414 at UBC, but he reported that the antiquated mainframe wouldn't take the value. Compilers and languages interested me, but not as much as today. I used Lex and Yacc regularly, and in one contract project I created a billing system with a custom query language. I had an interest in implementing data structures as well. There were things I was not into, like for instance databases or anything having to do with AI, or programming language semantics (other than taking one compiler construction course, for which I lacked prerequisites); when some buddies started on about what they were doing with, say, Prolog, I didn't follow that. I was impressed, but my plate was full of my current interests to be actually distracted and derailed. I had this intuition that life is long, and there will be plenty of time to get into other things, and that as long as you're constantly learning, you're preparing yourself for the stuff you don't yet know.

moron4hire 4y ago

I've found it useful, in periods of analysis paralysis and burnout, to throw away all my to-do lists, archive all my projects, and start from scratch. The backlog weighs heavily on my current efforts. So starting from scratch ditches the burden. Then, once I've made actual forward progress, I can go back to the archives and figure out how to work the new stuff in.

alex_suzuki 4y ago
Do you archive or delete todo items? :-) I find that archiving is far less satisfactory - finality is important.
- moron4hire 4y ago
  Code I archive. Todo items I delete. If it's important, it'll come back up again.

quietthrow 4y ago

Inspired by your post I decided to ask the deeper question to the hive mind. https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33683106 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33683106

jpm_sd 4y ago

I graduated from engineering school 20 years ago and I've gotten to do a lot of interesting, satisfying projects since then. The advice that I give my kids (and anyone else who asks): 1) Pick one or two things at a time to get good at. When you start feeling like you've pretty much got that nailed, then pick some other way to challenge yourself. Ideally one intellectual challenge and one physical challenge. 1a) This becomes much easier under pressure. For example, instead of just "oh I want to learn something" it needs to be in the service of some larger goal. Maybe it's for your job, maybe it's for something you're doing as a hobby, but it needs to be a Project, not learning as an end in itself. 2) Incremental progress is the only kind of progress that exists. Make incremental plans. Celebrate small victories.

Ilasky 4y ago

I think doing things in little steps is the key to moving big things over time [0] - especially so with the help of others around. There's been a good amount of research showing that having others around encourages us to do things and to do them better.[1] (Actually building something if you're keen to try it to do things with others [2]) It really comes down to just doing and let the act of doing find your way. [0] https://tinyhabits.com/ https://tinyhabits.com/ [1] https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_facilitation https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_facilitation [2] https://doubleapp.xyz/blog/how-to-body-double https://doubleapp.xyz/blog/how-to-body-double

cranium 4y ago

I like the way the idea of a goal hierarchy as presented in Grit: one top-level goal which is the unifying theme of your foreseeable life, mid-level goals that are the different topics to help your reach your top-level goal, and the low-level goals for the day-to-day life. For example to become a successful entrepreneur (top), you need to understand how to run a startup (mid), raise money from investors (mid), understand your users (mid), and that comes from understanding your cash flow (low), cold mailing tens of VCs (low), interview a user (low). Deciding and committing to a top goal is the hard part in my opinion. It means to abandon the other (incompatible) goals you'd like to pursue. But focus is the best way to go forward.

spicymaki 4y ago

I have the "I want to do everything but end up doing nothing" issue, and my current hypothesis is that I have undiagnosed ADHD. I don't think that is something I will change as long as I am not causing harm to anyone else.

b3morales 4y ago
I don't want to be preachy, but as someone with similar issues who's navigating my way through it...it's worth considering whether you are not harming yourself, in a very passive and silent, but chronic way. Each day that goes by is gone and won't return.

sixo 4y ago

I've learn a few things about this problem over the years: "Wanting to have done something" and "wanting to DO something" are very different. E.g. "I'd like to be able to play Claire de Lune on piano", vs the deep work of becoming intimately familiar with every single note and phrase of the piece. The latter necessarily involves getting obsessed for a while; you don't be able to do it if you don't find something deeply stimulating about the specific piano piece. A lot of the things I've "wanted to do" I really just wanted to have done—I wanted to be able to do something, I wanted to know if I was capable of it. But I didn't really want to do it. I didn't really care. I just thought I was capable of all kinds of things and wanted to delight in verifying that. It had a sort of superficiality to it—my reasons for wanting all these things were not compelling enough to drive me to actually do them. (Especially faced with the immediate rewards offered by video games—games and things like that change the "weights" on your internal reward system; you can feel this if you just think about the game, it feels like everything else shifts out of focus and the anticipation of the dopamine prize expands to fill your view.) When you're in school it's relatively easy to do whatever you're told, and it doesn't really matter if you care about it. But accessing this sense of internally-generated energy that can drive you towards things that are important is a completely different skill, and you can't force it. So either: * figure out what you deeply, truly want to DO, and do that (which may be completely different from the things you enjoy imagining HAVING done) * or, think deeply about what you want to "have done", and figure out why it excites you, and focus in on that, activate your curiosity for it, and let that draw you in

s1artibartfast 4y ago
Agreed. At least for me "have done" goals are a trap. They are an endless list which will never be satisfied. Figuring out what you "want to do" leads to immediate satisfaction and motivation leading to a fulfilling life.
kirso 4y ago
This is a great comment. A good extrapolation of this on another example is: - We all want to start a startup, with a caveat that the vast majority of us don't want to sacrifice our time, energy, mental and physical health to get to the an exponential outcome with extreme costs. But the daydreaming and the lure of successes we see around us makes us think its all there is. - Perhaps instead, we can just focus on doing the craft that we actually enjoy doing as a process to get to mediocre (and sometimes extreme) outcomes since most just crave freedom of choice, not the $.

Bubble_Pop_22 4y ago

There is no higher accomplishment than living in the moment. % of time spent living in the moment is the most important metric I can think of. The "problem" is that it's something that you can't see in others, whereas wealth, assets etc. are for everybody to see and so people start competing to get those things. There lies the difference however, to call yourself a competitive person you must be able to compete without ever knowing how you are faring against others, that's the ultimate form of competition. That's also how life begins. A Spermatozoon doesn't know and won't ever know the position of other spermatozoa, if they are ahead, behind etc. in the race to get to the egg. They only know that they have to swim as fast as they possibly can. Likewise humans can't possibly know the amount of time that other humans are spending living in the moment, but, like sperm, you don't need to because your goal is to get as close as you can to 100%

sershe 4y ago

1) Doing something is better than failing to do everything. I was accumulating notes on useful low-pri habits to have / things I maybe want to do for like 7 years, hardly doing any of them. Sometimes I'd try to do all of them - start the day with a cold shower, meditate, do hard work before email, go for a walk, apply pomodoro, message a friend, exercise, 50 more things, and have a perfect day, but it's pretty much impossible to maintain. Making a list and doing one habit per week (or an approximation) I actually started to make progress and get better at some things. Ditto with exercise - consistent simple short workouts are much easier to maintain than perfect workout program with long awesome workouts. 2) For projects too, doing a little bit is better than failing to do a lot. Ditto, I've made a lot of progress on projects, especially icky ones like minor house repairs (but also e.g. personal coding projects that became hard to do quickly after my early 20ies due to other things) by committing for 10-30 minutes at a time and accepting that it might take me a year to finish. 3) Life-scale timing. That's something I really wish someone told me when I was 25, although it probably only applies to exercise. I got serious about training for climbing (my hobby) when I was 34... that is too late, and now I'm 38 and I get injured easily from intense training. I wish I did that earlier and did whatever I did then, now :) 4) Getting rid of hassles and not introducing new hassles that are not worth it. Something as simple as choosing devices/tools/appliances/building materials - how much maintenance worry does it require? How much manual labor does it add vs a more expensive/less pretty/... option? To where to live - how long do you want to spend driving around places/etc.? Feynman's bio where he describes putting on chains and his thoughts about that were very instructive for me. Then, larger choices, like I am the type of person who would enjoy skiing, but I find skiing to be logistically complicated and generally a giant hassle, so I can find similar hobbies, like climbing, with much less hassle and cost. But also larger life decisions, after looking at tons of people (from close friends/family to coworkers) with kids I choose not to have them, it's just not worth it, your whole life becomes one project with (for me) very low reward. Ditto about buying a house - an interesting tradeoff for me, cause I'd prefer semi-rural living with condo-level hassle level, but they don't build condos in rural areas ;)

sambapa 4y ago

1) Pick your goals 2) Divide them into subgoals, then divide those subgoals into subsubgoals. 3) Repeat step 2 until you have something concrete and actionable, something that you can do TODAY Bonus tips: 1) Learn how to learn (books like Make it stick, a mind for numbers etc), use spaced repetition software like Anki. 2) Prioritize sleep, diet and exercise. 3) Feelings of inadequacy never go away so relax and enjoy the ride.

HellDunkel 4y ago

I am a big daydreamer and like 99.99% of all ideas/projects i tried went nowhere. I always felt i have too many hobbies and interests and not enough time. However, in the last 10 years i managed to get some things done which i feel are quite something. What separates those from the rest? a) i got paid for doing them b) i was lucky to be there at the right time & place, due to: c) i was freelancing which gave me more opportunity to seek out interesting things to work on rather than staying in one place and doing what hierarchy tells you. a-c) made it possible to unlocked my passion and as a consequence i did not mind working hard. to be precise, by „working hard“ i mean doing 40-45 hours a week, not more but those hours i was extremely focused over a few years.

joeman1000 4y ago

I’ve found that having ‘tab groups’ (in whatever browser you fancy) has helped me to juggle around 20 different ‘interests’ at a time. Oh, it’s a Lisp sort of day? Hit the Lisp tab group and continue that weird session I started earlier in the year. Typography on my mind today? Go through and finish half of what’s in the typography tab group. It seems the same as bookmarks, but it’s just not. I used to just collect bookmarks, get overwhelmed, never read them. Tab groups are sort of ephemeral bookmarks, and I don’t have to worry about saving bookmarks in the correct folders. It more or less just sorts itself out if I open tabs inside the correct groups.

paulcole 4y ago

Maybe you really want to do nothing.

eternityforest 4y ago

I'm all about time saving strategies. I freed up insane amounts of time by decustomizing my personal use of tech. I am no longer willing to spend $100 and 30 hours to make something I could buy for $30. I no longer insist on learning everything about the tech I use, while the history book I want to read sits idle on a shelf. I no longer buy random stuff "just to try it out" when I don't have any real reason to think I'm going to enjoy having it. I don't buy random stuff for DIY projects very often if I'm not totally sure I want to do that project. I do buy things that I think will make life easier. I'm still working on social media time drains. Even this site itself is a bit of a time sink.