12 ms·

OkCupid was bought by Match Group (who run almost all online dating sites, including Match, eHarmony, and Tinder) in 2011 and took down this post not long after

• houstonn 4y ago
  More Orwellian still, they edited articles that contained data inconvenient to the politically correct narrative and elite ideology. Edit: Here's an example. “I’m bisexual.” REALITY: 80% of self-identified bisexuals are only interested in one gender. People who describe themselves as bisexual overwhelmingly message either one sex or the other, not both as you might expect. https://web.archive.org/web/20170307114207/https://theblog.okcupid.com/the-big-lies-people-tell-in-online-dating-a9e3990d6ae2#.i8r88zg8x https://web.archive.org/web/20170307114207/https://theblog.o... They presented the reality based on data, it's not subjective, it's revealed preferences. Match.com removed that section and updated the article with "This post has was originally published in 2010 and has since been updated to reflect OkCupid’s current values."
  • CodeSgt 4y ago
    Where was this?
  • wavefunction 4y ago
    Any examples? Their blog post on the dating economy being skewed away from black women seemed to match with economic and social realities.
    • bragh 4y ago
      They do have memory-holed some very inconvenient blog posts, such as this https://techcrunch.com/2009/11/18/okcupid-inbox-attractive/ https://techcrunch.com/2009/11/18/okcupid-inbox-attractive/ (probably exists somewhere on archive.org)
      • flutas 4y ago
        > (probably exists somewhere on archive.org) Yep! https://web.archive.org/web/20091121080804/http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2009/11/17/your-looks-and-online-dating/ https://web.archive.org/web/20091121080804/http://blog.okcup... God I love archive.org
        • dorfsmay 4y ago
          Me too. Please remember they are funded and can exist only through donations: https://archive.org/donate/ https://archive.org/donate/
        • lmm 4y ago
          I loved them when I trusted them to keep backups of things that were taken down like this, but the fact that they quickly removed KiwiFarms from their archive has dented my confidence a lot.
      • anon23anon 4y ago
        I was a regular reader of their blog. It was great. They had a bunch of data on how we data and they weren't afraid to let the data speak. This resulted in some ppl getting upset b/c they had to hear something that didn't fit their worldview.
        • throwaway289943 4y ago
      • afavour 4y ago
        They've memory-holed (i.e. deleted) their entire old blog, no? It's disappointing but I think it's a stretch to describe that as Orwellian (as the OP did). At some point they just discarded all their old content, it's not that much of a conspiracy.
  • deleted 4y ago
    [deleted]
  • Arkhaine_kupo 4y ago
    Whats inconvinient to the pollitically correct narrative is people with 0 scientific literacy making bold claims about society based on surveys on extremely sampled social studies. Doing a study on how "dateable" black women are based on a specific dating app in 2010 is like making claims on everyones eating habits based on a survey on a Burger king drive through. It will probably not be a very good survey. They also took down the whole blog, people only remember the weird survey because it was an incel talking point seconds after it came out, specially in black pill groups arguing that giving up was the only alternative because OkCupid had "proved" that love was impossible for some and hypergamy or some other nonsense.
    • afpx 4y ago
      Would it be ok if they warned that it's just for entertainment? I enjoy reading these types of articles, and in my next project, I was planning to do something similar.
      • Arkhaine_kupo 4y ago
        > Would it be ok if they warned that it's just for entertainment? I mean they were always ok, but the problem is presenting some silly fun data analysis as "science". If you counted how many people have red hats in your way to work and publish it as a blog it can be fun. If suddenly far right groups start making posts about how your red hat stats correlate with immigration and theft statistics then your post is not the problem, but there is a problem. same with the OkCupid blog. I have 0 issue with their work (albeit they could show their work cause a lot looked incredibly amateurish), but the talking points that came from it are still being repeatedly wrongly 10 years later and did real damage.
        • kikokikokiko 4y ago
          "presenting some silly fun data analysis as "science"" Their silly data analysis had a sample that was probably orders of magnitude larger than any cohort an university paper could dream of getting their hands on, but yeah, it was just a silly fun data analysis.
  • RajT88 4y ago
    I don't see how the bisexual statistic is politically incorrect. It makes sense, considering the self-professed "bisexuals" I've known, which are well known as well in liberal-leaning circles: 1. Young women who pretend to be Bi to get more attention from Men 2. People who pretend to be Bi to avoid having to completely come out of the closet There's actually a saying in the gay community for the latter, "Bi now, gay later!"
    • marpstar 4y ago
      I think it's better labeled "heteroflexible", or engaging in physical contact/sex with a same-sex person (for the dopamine), but have no "romantic" attraction to same-sex people.
    • deleted 4y ago
      [deleted]
    • auveair 4y ago
      > There's actually a saying in the gay community for the latter, "Bi now, gay later!" I think by gay community you meant asshole gay people, I've been waiting for a very long while now to turn gay (I'm a bisexual dude). > I don't see how the bisexual statistic is politically incorrect. Not politically incorrect, just deeply ignorant.
    • Scarblac 4y ago
      I know some bi people who seem to switch their main preference every few years. That could also look like this. And as for the second, that may not be a conscious decision, right? People discover more about their own orientation over time.
    • claudiawerner 4y ago
      I feel like that sort of expression encourages biphobia; even if 'genuine' (whatever that means) bi people are rare, an expression like "Bi now, gay later" perfectly plays into long lasting tropes such as bisexuality being "just a phase", something which bisexuals such as myself have spent a long time trying to overcome. To add on that, studies like the ones mentioned only reveal so much; there are a few good reasons why one might only search for one gender or the other online and in a particular place.
  • auveair 4y ago
    The bisexual thing was pretty stupid and pretty revealing how much this blog post was bullshit, there was a bunch of reason why you would pick one gender as a bisexual, especially if online dating was just to meet more of the gender you wanted. But a bi dude, in 2010 you simply wouldn't get match with women if you write bi and plenty of gay dude would turn you down as well, so you just wouldn't bother and write gay or straight eventually. Edit: removed today
    • skyyler 4y ago
      >But a bi dude, in 2010 (and still today) you simply wouldn't get match with women if you write bi This is simply not true. Maybe I'm just hot enough to overcome the queer disgust? I don't feel like I'm that hot.
      • yamazakiwi 4y ago
        Depends on where you live and what age your dating pool is.
      • auveair 4y ago
        > This is simply not true. I removed the point about today since I haven't been dating in a few years, but I stand by the 2010 comment, you could find a few female stars being openly bisexual for example but it was incredibly rare for male stars, which is indicative of how hot it was perceived at the time.
        • skyyler 4y ago
          My lived experience just completely disagrees with what you are saying. Perhaps it's an age difference thing. The gay men have had more of a problem with me than the straight ladies. I gravitate towards bi/pan people anyways due to my androgynous features.
          • auveair 4y ago
            I don't know how old you are, but anyway it seems you are starting with a pretty good crowd, if you're not ugly, androgynous (sought after) and dating in an understanding pool, which is your own orientation. I see where you are coming from but it doesn't seem like it warranted the blanket dismissal you started with. For what it's worth I found a blog post referring to that phenomenon from a few years ago which talks about a poll conducted in Glamour Magazine: https://web.archive.org/web/20160320094402/https://www.pride.com/bisexual/2016/3/17/no-mens-land-when-women-wont-date-bisexual-guys https://web.archive.org/web/20160320094402/https://www.pride...
  • sangnoir 4y ago
    > “I’m bisexual.” REALITY: 80% of self-identified bisexuals are only interested in one gender This isn't the slam dunk it appears to be. A dietary equivalent would be "X% of self-professed omnivores avoid vegetarian dishes". They are open to the idea, but still have preferences. Just because one is open to the superset, doesn't mean they assign each subset equal weight.
    • webmobdev 4y ago
      That does sound a more sensible interpretation to me. I know many in India (where vegetarian diets are prevalent) who eat meat occasionally when they suddenly crave for it, but are mostly inclined towards a veg diet. And they think of cannot eat non-veg foods for all three meals or even continuously every day for even a week unlike some others who can't do without meat in a meal. Perhaps bisexuality is also a spectrum rather than a 50-50 thing?
    • hezralig 4y ago
      Or, I eat $x at home, I am looking for $y on this service. There are plenty of bisexual people I know that have open arrangements who are in relationships with a partner of one sex and are only permitted by that partner to date people of another sex by that partner (because fear of competition/jealousy reasons). Some people only want romantic relationships with a partner of one sex while hookups with another. Some people have bi-cycles. Some people are attracted to a person of their own gender 80% of the time and another 20% of the time.
      • fennecfoxy 4y ago
        Many people, including myself, don't find the whole "cycles"/percentage thing attractive, though. Especially for a longer term relationship, why would you want to date someone who loved you for who you were only part of the time? Especially seeing as its something you can't change about yourself. In reality I've generally found that many "bi" guys are just waiting for a "real" relationship with a chick, while doing guys on the side. Hell, even outside of relationships, most bi guys I've met would pick a chick over a guy 9 times out of 10. Some of that is due to the fact it's a lot rarer/harder for them to hook up with a chick vs a dude (latter being more open and free with sex). If someone is bi, has a romantic/sexual preference for both and experiences periods where they really do prefer one or the other then a traditional relationship is probably not going to work best for them; something poly or very open seems like the batter option, where their partner is aware and agrees to it.
  • aeturnum 4y ago
    >"I’m bisexual.” REALITY: 80% of self-identified bisexuals are only interested in one gender. >People who describe themselves as bisexual overwhelmingly message either one sex or the other, not both as you might expect. Yes, I remember this. It was sad to see such basic logic errors from OKC. It seems a little like saying that heterosexuality is a myth because all "heterosexual" people prefer some bodies over others. Bisexual means you are attracted to both masculine and feminine people. It does not imply a 50 / 50 split, or that you want to date everyone equally. The Match.com Orwellian activity aside - that critique was always very odd.
  • deleted 4y ago
    [deleted]
  • sam0x17 4y ago
    > People who describe themselves as bisexual overwhelmingly message either one sex or the other, not both as you might expect. I don't think you can draw the conclusions from this people seem to be. Think about it. If you are genuinely attracted to both genders, then you can choose. If you're pursuing a goal (like a relationship) you're going to have some ideal you're going after, so you're probably going to pick a gender to look for for any particular period of time. I think it would be actually very uncommon to actively seek both at the same time, especially since there are cultural/societal considerations tied up with this. If you genuinely like both deciding to pursue a particular gender doesn't invalidate the fact that you could just as genuinely pursue the other. Society dictates that pursing one or the other are of varying difficulty, but this has nothing to do with the legitimacy of how you feel about the other. Bi-sexual people I've known follow this pattern -- they'll pursue one gender for 6 months to the year, and then re-bound with the other, then maybe stick with that one for a while, rinse and repeat. Since most people only use dating services for a short while, this would probably look as described above in aggregate.
  • silverwasthere 4y ago
    I use straight dominated apps for straight dating and gay dominated apps for gay dating so my usage would basically agree with their majority statistic. It's how I use the tools not who I am, though.
  • Retric 4y ago
    Bi isn’t an all or nothing thing. Men are well known to enter same sex relationships when in restricted environments long term such as sailing ships or prison, but not everyone is that flexible. Women do the same with a lesser known example being elderly women swapping because of the shrinking dating pool. So, self identifying as bi shouldn’t be taken as having zero gender preferences nor should we assume peoples preferences are static through time. People may be in a committed relationship and seek partners of the a different gender etc.
  • bundze 4y ago
    There are multiple reasons why someone would prefer to date only one gender while actually bisexual. I know a person who is bisexual and only dates the opposite gender because they don't want to deal with backlash from their conservative family and because they prefer to start a traditional family one day. I do feel like that may be a popular issue so I wouldn't expect that a bisexual person would message both genders equally, like this article absurdly claims.
  • rafaelero 4y ago
    Cool data. Isn't there something more up to date?
  • watwut 4y ago
    That implication is not logical. It is unreasonable to expect bisexuals to seek 50/50 gender split. First, even if the actual attraction is same for both genders, it would be reasonable to expect bisexuals to seek opposite gender partners way more. Pretty much anyone who wants bio children need opposite sex partner. Pretty much anyone who don't want to deal with stigma around gayness too kuch will prefer opposite gender partner. Second, bisexuality does not mean the attraction is same. It it fairly normal for bisexual to be attacted toany people from one gender and few from the other. It is also fairly normal foe them to have periods where they go for one gender only (either as conscious decision or not).
    • nicbou 4y ago
      Besides, what did they actually look at? According to a friend, it's a lot easier to get a male date, even if you're more interested in women. How would that affect the 80% figure?
  • fennecfoxy 4y ago
    Yeah, I'm gay & bi guys in the gay community complain that they're not as accepted, which to some degree is definitely true. But the number of "bi" guys who want to bang guys on the side while looking for a "real" relationship with a woman is staggering. I try to avoid them at all costs; I'm not a fleshlight/something to discard. I feel like the gay community needs to treat bi guys better but at the same time bi guys need to take a look at themselves and consider if they're romantically bi, or just sexually bi because they just want to fulfil their sexual needs (which is much easier with guys obviously).
• barbariangrunge 4y ago
  Can’t wait to see all our old private messages get leaked by some hack of the parent organization now too. Or for it all to just get sold to advertisers
  • nemo1618 4y ago
    I wish! After I met my (now-)wife on OkCupid, we deactivated our accounts so that we'd stop getting notifications. A few months later we wanted to revisit our first messages to each other -- only to find that OkC had already deleted them. I was pretty shocked at how eager they were to discard a few KB of potentially priceless ASCII. :(
    • inglor_cz 4y ago
      On the other hand, deleting potentially compromising stuff once it is no longer needed is really good for former clients' privacy. In case of a hack, no one will be able to dig in decades of old erotic penmanship and blackmail people.
    • crazygringo 4y ago
      I can't speak specifically to this case, but it's certainly not about saving KB, it's usually specifically to prevent people from messaging the same person multiple times a year for many months/years. IIRC, OkC also removed the ability to bookmark profiles, presumably for the same reason -- everything moving to a more "ephermeral" experience to prevent anybody getting "obsessed" with certain accounts because of how creepy that gets. Since spam, stalking, and abusive messages are by far the #1 problem with any online dating service. (Yes blocking works, but it's even better when people don't have to block in the first place. If you have to block too much, you quit the app.)
    • btgeekboy 4y ago
      I’m engaged now, and met my fiancée on a dating site. At the time, it made sense that I deleted my account, since we were exclusive, but now those first messages exist only as a memory. I’d love to have those again, but I’m happy that data is gone.
• Justsignedup 4y ago
  Spoke to the OKC co-founder when he was working out of a co-working location making fun side project, he said that even they thought this was a bit too pretentious and very correlation vs causality issues.
  • zasdffaa 4y ago
    I read that as "carnality issues".
    • stereoradonc 4y ago
      This is what motivates people to seek out other people.
• deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]
• carabiner 4y ago
  Match has turned all of its apps into tinder. That is, gambling-like "one more swipe" photo centric dating apps, where the artificial restriction of choice keeps every person starved. Tinder is casual hookups, okcupid is leftist tinder for relationships, Hinge is politically moderate tinder for traditionalists, and so on. Each is a different marketing segment, but the same basic idea that gets men to pay to meet women.
  • opportune 4y ago
    I would not say Hinge artificially restricts choice. You are limited in how many “likes” you can send each day, but it’s a different model where each like is actually a notification/puts you in someone’s “inbox”, so letting everybody like too much would make it too spammy to work. That model is also quite good because you don’t need to pay for women to notice you. Those 10 people you like will notice you anyway, unlike other apps where you could like 1000 profiles and barely be seen by any of them. I personally have found Hinge very effective compared to other apps without paying a cent. My like -> match -> date conversion rate was literally two orders of magnitude better than any other app.
    • bjustin 4y ago
      I also found Hinge to have a much higher hit rate of conversations-per-profile-seen, and dates, than the other apps.
    • slovette 4y ago
      Match rates where true for me as well in comparison to other apps. However, what I found interesting is that I’d routinely run out of matches on my last month of being “premium”. As soon as the paid gig was up, all of a sudden, profiles of potential matches in my area that I had never seen prior are numerous. BUT.. to like or match, I have to resubscribe… hmm… Another obvious manipulation by Hinge (and the other apps) is I’m almost 100% positive they artificially limit who they show you by stacking the deck with a bunch of profiles of women they know haven’t logged into the service in awhile. Basically priming the pump with “possibility” to keep you engaged; diluting the active profiles and spreading any likely match possibilities out over time. It’s things like these two realizations that made me decide these apps are not in existence to help you find a match. They’re incentive is the same as Facebook, engagement. You matching means you no longer using the app and that’s bad for business.
• tomxor 4y ago
  > the post was removed sometime between Jan 2011 [2] and Mar 2011 [3]. The rest of the blog was still up at the time [4]. Internet Archive is great for cases of self censorship like this. I assume that as part of the acquisition the author was compelled to take it down.
• bartimus 4y ago
  So there's still a void for a dating service to be filled?
  • xtracto 4y ago
    Im tempted to make a service where you "deposit" some fee to subscribe, I then return part of the deposit to you on a monthly basis UNTIL you find a match on the site. If/once you find a match, I keep the rest. That should align goals for both the company and the partner seeker. EDIT: I'll be getting interest from the remainder your payment every month, as part of my profit scheme.
    • derefr 4y ago
      That's basically how many old human-labor matchmaking services work, insofar as the matchmaker gets a lump-sum payment at the beginning, and then spends an unbounded amount of labor doing the matchmaking until it works out. The matchmaker is incentivized to make a good match as efficiently as possible, as their profit-margin decreases linearly with the amount of time they spend on each "case."
      • AnIdiotOnTheNet 4y ago
        That just sounds like the optimal solution is to do zero match-making labor.
        • labster 4y ago
          If it was a one-time game, sure. If your game relies on future business, word-of-mouth advertising, and not being arrested for fraud, it’s a bad choice.
        • Volundr 4y ago
          Eh maybe from an efficiency perspective on profit vs labor, of I can get one person to pay me $100 to matchmake for them, then do nothing, I've got an infinite return on my effort, but if I want to make a living doing this I need to have some success stories to keep the $100s coming, so some effort is needed.
• revolutukr 4y ago
• cassepipe 4y ago
  What I used to love about OkCupid was how it would nudge you into writing a profile to tell who you are and what you care about. My profile had grown and it was a nice little place to present myself to the world and to talk to various women sometimes not even for dating but for the sake of an interesting conversation. Compare that with Tinder that won't even let you write more than small quantity of letters, come this is just text! There used to be an interesting thing where you would see who visited your profile and vice versa. Sadly the OkCupid website has been crippled into being unusable and the app is just a worse tinder now. Profiles are short, and mostly uninteresting.