21 ms·
ButtFish – Transmit Morse Code of chess moves to your butt
- metadat 4y agoMagnus Carlsen meets https://buttplug.io https://buttplug.io.
- qbrass 4y agoUnrelated anecdote. A couple years ago, a discussion over the cyberdeck trend and how people intentionally make them anti-ergonomic, led me to I run 'sed s/deck/plug/g' on the text of the Sprawl Trilogy as a joke.
- VyseofArcadia 4y agoA work of sublime genius. Not Gibson, I can't stand Gibson. But deck to butt might make Neuromancer worth reading. Obligatory XKCD https://xkcd.com/1288/ https://xkcd.com/1288/
- matheusmoreira 4y agoCan you link to those discussions? Why are they made unergonomically on purpose?
- laveur 4y agoUpvoting for the amazing InfoGraphic this GH repo has.
- bombcar 4y agoBut does it automatically add a ! to your opponent’s move if it detects clenching?
- hprotagonist 4y agoahh hi qdot! nice to see deldo is rusty now!
- qdot76367 4y agoSooooooooo someone is actually implementing a Buttplug client in pure elisp. I have a feeling that's gonna get posted here once it's done.
- hprotagonist 4y agoman i hope they use property based testing! https://github.com/Wilfred/propcheck https://github.com/Wilfred/propcheck
- senectus1 4y agomissed opportunity not naming it "Butt-Mate"
- outside1234 4y agoamazing
- samatman 4y agoA bit more understated, but Hip Check has a lot of potential.
- kibwen 4y agoTo complete the memetic conjunction, HN will surely be abuzz at the fact that the underlying buttplug library is, in fact, written in Rust. For when memory safety really matters: https://github.com/buttplugio/buttplug https://github.com/buttplugio/buttplug
- kortex 4y agoWow there's even an Awesome compendium of all things buttplug. https://github.com/buttplugio/awesome-buttplug https://github.com/buttplugio/awesome-buttplug
- qdot76367 4y agoWhich I should really go add Buttfish too like, right now >.>
- qdot76367 4y agoAw shucks, thanks. :D (I'm the Buttplug project lead, though anyone who's seen the threads on it before is probably aware since I tend the reply to every. single. comment.)
- Rapzid 4y agoA question about delivery channel;I don't like receiving chess moves in my butt. If I wanted to get my chess moves in my penis would buttplug's device support include a viable alternative? Also, I might be interested in parallel chess cheating. If DP is on the table would multi-match support be viable through the API?! I might have to break my no-pegging rule.. But in the name of increased chess move bandwidth it might be on the table. Under the table.
- FeistySkink 4y agoHow would you tell different matches apart? An intro ring tone, so to speak?
- hoistbypetard 4y agoThis motherboard article might help if you're not up-to-date on the backstory: https://www.vice.com/en/article/5d3w9z/did-hans-neimann-cheat-at-chess-with-a-sex-toy-this-coder-is-attempting-to-find-out https://www.vice.com/en/article/5d3w9z/did-hans-neimann-chea...
- gabrielsroka 4y ago
- idk1 4y agoBackstory? Pun very much intended?
- taylorbuley 4y agoI love hackathon-esque projects with relevance to current events. Bra-vo.
- kortex 4y agoMorse code for the classical chess notation is actually pretty inefficient (12ish bits of data). Often times the actual viable moves are vastly reduced. With your own custom entropy code and custom symbol table, you could massively reduce the transmission time. E.g. - 1-4 bits for the piece class to move. - 3 bits for the column of the destination - 1-3 bits left over for disambiguation. E.g. Column That's perhaps a bit too much optimization for a troll project. But fun nonetheless.
- nikcub 4y agoThis might be a case of where a less efficient format provides greater end-user satisfaction
- mmmpop 4y agoAh what the hell, give me the highest resolution you got!
- SamBam 4y agoCan you transmit the entire state of the board to me? No no, not where all the pieces are, but I want you to send me everything about where the board is in space, it's material, dimensions, weight, etc...
- qdot76367 4y agoPossibly! For instance, when I built the twitterdildonics project back in 2007 (changed tweet character values to vibration speeds, using an extremely early precursor to buttplug.io), a lot of people were saying I should transmit using morse code, but instead I took UTF-8 and poorly translated it back to 0-255 range, which accidentally ended up with super interesting results: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuKP5viPYRM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuKP5viPYRM
- eru 4y agoTwitter looked rather different back then. And they had to explain what is was.
- RcouF1uZ4gsC 4y agoYou could probably enhance it for 2 way communication if you had something that could sense anal sphincter pressure. Then you could encode your opponent’s move via contractions, and then have it transmit the best move to you. You would basically have a chess computer that you communicated with entirely through your butt. This would work, even if you played in a Faraday cage since the communication and computation is all internal.
- mcdonje 4y agoI was going to comment that this is only 1 way, whereas the sockfish project was 2 way, if I remember correctly. This would only work if the accomplice has a visual of the game. Your solution would probably work, I guess. I sadly don't know anything about measuring sphincter pressure. You could also have a pressure sensor in a shoe or something that interfaces with the buttplug via bluetooth, or even a small wire. Though, I could imagine competition security looking at feet but drawing the line before checking butts. So, the chances of getting caught could be higher with my approach.
- qdot76367 4y agoOk, so, sort of NSFW links ahead, but there's actually an open source project that does this. The Nogasm is a pleasure denial project that uses pelvic floor contraction frequency, as sensed by pressure output in an air filled cavity, to prolong play. https://github.com/nogasm/nogasm https://github.com/nogasm/nogasm There's even a upscale ESP32 based version of it called the Edge-O-Matic, complete with its own Flappy Bird implementation. https://maustec.io/pages/edge-o-matic https://maustec.io/pages/edge-o-matic Output from either of these devices could be used for that, though discerning between voluntary versus involuntary muscle contraction would be challenging.
- pitaj 4y agoSeems like it would be pretty easy. Send a "dot" for three contractions each one second apart. Send a "dash" for three contractions each three seconds apart. It would be pretty slow, but it doesn't need to be fast.
- floatinglotus 4y agoTimely, I’m sure totally unrelated to recent news.
- dmix 4y agoNot read the article before commenting?
- frob 4y agoThis is the confluence of like 5 different hacker news communities and I'm loving every second of it.
- jesterswilde 4y agoThe problem I see with this implementation is that it only gives. How will it also receive input? Do I need a watcher who transcribes it? I would like to see an added device that I can write chess moves into in a similar fashion to how I'm reading. Then I'm a one man cheating machine.
- qdot76367 4y agoWe actually just got sensor support in the latest major version of Buttplug, so reading input from pressure sensors, kegelcizers, etc is now a possibility!
- jesterswilde 4y agoFantastic. You may not be the Chosen One, but you're what we've got. And that's enough. (This made my day.)
- matheusmoreira 4y agoYou just created a covert communications channel... Perhaps the most hidden of them all.
- deleted 4y ago[deleted]
- mhh__ 4y agoIn the hands (ass?) of a top chess player presumably one could just send a binary signal as to whether a chess engine thinks there is a big move available ahead (i.e. take risks now).
- stoplying1 4y agoI really love this, only missing a few style points because you were honest that it didn't get a full-fledged test. I'm sure someone is in-progress right now though.
- qdot76367 4y agoI found out about this because the author showed up to the buttplug.io discord server asking for testing help.
- devindotcom 4y agoThe interesting thing I learned about this is that the big names in chess all agree that they don't need to be told what move to make. In a recent interview Magnus Carlsen said: > The people who get caught are those who cheat in a really obvious and stupid manner. The problem was that he [i.e., a player caught in 2016] was not good enough to see what would’ve made sense. > Had I started cheating in a clever manner, I am convinced no one would notice. I would’ve just needed to cheat one or two times during the match, and I would not even need to be given moves, just the answer on which move was way better. Or, here there is a possibility of winning, and here you need to be more careful. That is all I would need in order to be almost invincible, which does frighten me. So all you need is a buzz or maybe two - "caution" and "opportunity," "defense" and "offense" or whatever. The difficult part is getting the game state to the device. In streamed games this can be done with a medium amount of trouble but in non-streamed OTB games you'd need the player or a confederate to be silently inputting moves for the engine to respond to. Not impossible but... difficult. Nevertheless, when the prizes are in the hundreds of thousands, people may try to find a way.
- thethimble 4y agoIt seems not too crazy to have a morse code format to input moves too, right? Knight C3 is just a few squeezes.
- nordsieck 4y ago> It seems not too crazy to have a morse code format to input moves too, right? At 3 minutes per move for the standard format, it's totally reasonable. It might be a bit less feasible during speed chess (which is used as a tie breaker).
- TheSpiceIsLife 4y agoOvertime you can learn to isolate pelvic floor muscles and anal sphincter, so a cockring and buttplug, or vag-toy and buttplug, could enable rapid input, and greater bandwidth using cords.
- 4y ago
- MikeTheGreat 4y agoFirst, thank you to the poster for posting this - I haven't laughed this hard in a while. Second - thank you to the person who actually made this. This is incredibly hilarious (just based on the project I'm gonna go ahead an assume they have an account here :) ) Lastly - I know that this is a joke project, but one thing I'm not understanding: how does the system read the current state of the chess board? The, er, Bluetooth/WiFi 'output' of the system is clear enough, but I'm not clear on how the current chess board is input into the system so that Stockfish can actually compute the next move. (This is a semi-serious question - if you know I'd be curious to find out, but I'm not gonna lose sleep over this and I don't expect anyone else to waste time on it either :) )
- tibbar 4y agoIn the proposed cheating scheme, you have an accomplice who reads the moves of the game as they're broadcast over the internet and then transmits the next move to you.
- mackrevinack 4y agoand they also have a buttplug but one with a squeeze sensor in it so they can send morse code with their sphincter
- bombcar 4y agoI believe the idea is an audience accomplice enters the board moves for you.
- gpm 4y agoThe actual implementation just takes them from the console. If you were actually going to use this to cheat in professional tournaments, I imagine you'd just use the API of a chess website that is broadcasting the game live. Lichess has a free, documented, API for instance.
- eru 4y agoBroadcasts have a 15 minute delay to avoid this kind of cheating.
- carlivar 4y agoTime to play chess in a Faraday Cage.
- DonHopkins 4y agoCan this be applied to Go moves too? Because when you gotta go, you gotta go.
- kypro 4y agoI've just spent the last 10 minutes going down the rabbit hole of various butt plug projects, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyMZBOQtmic https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyMZBOQtmic Who knew there would be a thriving community of butt plug hackers lmao.
- margarina72 4y agoI am pretty sure it is a pain in the ass to debug... (ok sorry I am out...)
- mmmpop 4y agoKind of serious question, is there an "OpenPlug" standard floating around? To your point, interest in this sort of thing is really... exploding.
- qdot76367 4y agoSo buttplug.io as a library is made for supporting communication with toys from a host, but itself is not made to be a peripheral protocol. It's verbose af because of some of the early decisions I made that we are now very very stuck with. That said, on the firmware side, I'm pushing for tcode, which is a sort of gcode variant for sex toy firmware. There's documentation for it in STPIHKAL (sex toy protocols i have known and loved), our protocol aggregation repo: https://stpihkal.docs.buttplug.io/protocols/tcode.html https://stpihkal.docs.buttplug.io/protocols/tcode.html
- dylan604 4y ago>STPIHKAL Nice. Just yesterday, I was moving books around and spent time flipping through PiHKAL and TiHKAL
- Timpy 4y agoI don't think this needs to be a programming problem. If you have a team of coconspirators watching the game live from another location you can manually turn the vibrator on and off remotely. It's not like Sockfish where the player had to relay game state before getting the next move. You don't even need to use Stockfish, you could use any game engine.
- omg_ponies 4y ago"Effortlessly"
- a-dub 4y agoahh yes, the exciting field of anus computer interfaces!
- liamN 4y agothis is beautiful. Thank you for your contribution to humanity
- frasermarlow 4y agoI can't seem to find your GoFundMe page. Is the project already fully funded? Did I miss out on the free early access sample?
- TheAceOfHearts 4y agoIn order to prevent future buttplug related incidents all players will be required to wear a FIDE certified buttplug during over the board matches.
- tjpnz 4y agoEither that or FIDE starts hiring proctologists.
- kasey_junk 4y agoLegend
- dqpb 4y agoI bet if you wear this overnight while you sleep, and setup stockfish to play itself, you will subconsciously learn a muscle memory of the AI strategy. Somebody try this please.
- ljm 4y agoI do love how chess continues to make Mornington Crescent less satirical. And why all of it sounds like a jazz band has already composed the soundtrack. You’re playing with the ButtFish? I see you and raise the bongcloud. The double bongcloud? Aw man, I told the Manchurian candidate I’d need a favour but not for this.
- dqpb 4y agoWhat is the smallest possible message one could give to an experienced player to hint them toward a move?
- dqpb 4y agoAre there buttplugs that can sense kegels? That would allow for two way communication.
- NotPractical 4y agoReminds me of this other "covert information receiving technique for individuals being closely watched", but in this case used for cheating on a proctored exam: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=30675666 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=30675666
- andrewstuart 4y agoDisappointing there was no video of people using this live.
- egberts1 4y agoWhat I had actually suggested 9 days ago. But with better bandwidth. https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=32910676 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=32910676
- stazz1 4y agoso insanely funny
- hospadar 4y agoI really feel that it should be named "Deep Brown"
- f1shy 4y agoI second this motion!
- sidcool 4y agoWorld: World leaders are threatening nuclear attacks. HN: Idiots. I hear they use Python for launch systems. Should be Rust for robustness. (I love this community)
- gorgoiler 4y agoI want to build an automated cat feeder. Personally speaking, in terms of systems design where a bug could result in an extreme breakdown of diplomatic relations, it is of equivalent gravitas to building a reliable nuke silo. Is this the project where I finally pick up Rust, or should I continue with the usual Python mitigations (reach-this-target-state instead of do-this-thing, tiny stable wrapper around heavy Python logic, no fonts.com online dependency, restart foodd every minute, etc.)
- FirstLvR 4y agoHumanity’s peak.
- Sporktacular 4y agoJust awesome
- bhedgeoser 4y ago"My spidey sense is tingling"
- harvie 4y agoQueer's Gambit. Can't wait for Tour De France competitors to put lithium batteries and hydraulic agregates in their bodies to drive the pedals along with their muscles.
- RHSman2 4y agoIf its bi directional then we have a game changer (not sure what the game is though ;))
- talideon 4y agoNerve endings, man. Lots of nerve endings...
- pelagicAustral 4y agoTalk about open-source projects with a soul.
- ajrpugs 4y agoSo funny. Kudos to you.
- WesolyKubeczek 4y agoIt can also be used as a really perverse way of consuming books, or read twitter, just saying.