21 ms·
Van life (cancer edition) finale
- londons_explore 5y agoThis is one example of many where a wrong diagnosis could destroy a life... I'm sure OP wouldn't decide to end their life of it was a disease that'll cite itself.
- chrissnell 5y agoLife is short for all of us. Don't put off living. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MBMp085x5-Q https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MBMp085x5-Q
- comrh 5y agoPartial to the Louis Prima version https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=n7VT2EHa0b4 https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=n7VT2EHa0b4
- 0xbadcafebee 5y agoSince nobody's posted it, The Specials cover: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6liD8TdlJFA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6liD8TdlJFA
- 77pt77 5y ago> With my speech and memory going, it’s already difficult to persuade doctors that I’m sufficiently “with it” to understand the gravity of what I’m doing You don't need to convince them. Say nothing and just go. Never explain yourself regarding fundamental values.
- largbae 5y agoI think this means "with it" enough to pass the conditions by which the doctors will assist his suicide.
- deleted 5y ago[deleted]
- VectorLock 5y agoI think maybe he means convincing the doctors in the undisclosed European country.
- dev_throw 5y agoIs that supposed to be Switzerland? I heard about it being an option there. Also, there is MAiD (Medical Assistance in Dying) in Canada.
- 77pt77 5y agoOne picture says Scotland.
- sdoering 5y agoThe text surrounding the images stated that the author was sharing a recent travel experience before her health deteriorated even further. So no, not Scotland.
- gcheong 5y agoPossibly the Netherlands or Belgium as well. A couple documentaries came to mind for anyone interested: https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/right-die-belgium-inside-worlds-liberal-euthanasia-laws https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/right-die-belgium-inside-w... https://aeon.co/videos/what-it-s-like-to-stand-by-your-daughter-in-her-choice-to-die https://aeon.co/videos/what-it-s-like-to-stand-by-your-daugh...
- VSerge 5y agoYes. She mentions finishing in Switzerland when discussing travel plans at some point in her previous posts, with emphasis on finishing.
- 0F 5y agoThe only reason right-to-die isn’t something universal is because the dead can’t vote. They suffer immensely and the usual feedback loop that mitigates societal problems and suffering is cut off. So every day thousands of people suffer terribly for absolutely no reason at all. Doctors will actually euthanize patients by giving them morphine. They can only legally do it if they are using it to treat pain. They slowly increase the dose as needed. They will hover over an unconscious patient and claim that they are in pain and therefore the morphine dose needs to be increased. They repeat this until the patient dies. It’s a workaround. Because everyone is selfish and stupid, nobody wants to confront reality and just formalize it.
- causality0 5y agoSometimes I get the feeling the US medical industry is 50% people who would sell an allergy pill that gave ten percent of patients lung cancer and 50% people who would rather watch thousands of people die in screaming agony than test a pancreatic cancer treatment that caused erectile dysfunction.
- deltaonefour 5y agoNo this isn't true. There are many things wrong with the medical industry, but this takes it too far.
- ourmandave 5y agoSurvivors can vote. I got to watch my mom die of cancer like this. I'm reminded of the line from Constantine, where he says, "Like pulling demons out of little girls. WHO IS THAT FOR?" https://youtu.be/-828wM9lpLw?t=107 https://youtu.be/-828wM9lpLw?t=107
- steve_adams_86 5y agoIt’s worth voting, too. It’s one of few things I’ve advocated for in my life but I’ve actually seen real progress in my country and in many others. I also watched my mom suffer a terrible death (a rocky 7 year decline into pain and madness), and she literally asked us to help her die many times along the way. She only stopped asking once her mental faculties left her. Her suffering was intolerable and we weakly watched her endure it out of fear of repercussions if people found out her death was assisted. It hurts so much to think, had she gotten sick only a little later, she could have left with some dignity and knowing who her family was. If only more people had supported the movement sooner! It’s absolutely worth every ounce of support to give people (and maintain) the right to die.
- siwatanejo 5y agoI would highlight this paragraph: "A wise man once said, disease intensifies narcissism, especially if it is terminal. Interpreting that as advice rather than critique, I’d like to be self-indulgent for a moment, and share what I hoped my life would be. I trained as lawyer, and had wanted to go into human rights. Things don’t always turn out the way you expect, and I ended up in corporate law, living a lifestyle unworthy of myself, and making the world worse year on year. On a dark day, I sometimes wonder if this is the universe’s way of balancing the wrong I did. I tried my best to be a good and kind person, but ultimately, I know my job was one that made rich motherfuckers even richer. I’m sorry."
- walrus01 5y agoNobody lies on their deathbed wishing "oh, but if only I'd been able to increase my employer's stock shareholder dividends a few percent more...". Go live your life before it's too late.
- rdiddly 5y agoWhatever inspiration can come from confronting one's own mortality, I'm all for it, but keep in mind, if you're not on your deathbed, you probably have rent due next month.
- madaxe_again 5y agoI had a near miss with illness six years ago, spent some fun time getting my affairs in order. At the same time, a close friend went from fine to a withered corpse in six weeks from aggressive cancer. I decided to throw everything to the wind, bugger the consequences, as my worst and best realisation was that my own impending doom filled me with relief at the prospect of release from my grinding existence. I still don’t quite know what was cause and effect, as my illness was spontaneous multiple organ failure for no good reason anyone could discern - but I resolved that if I lived, it would be to live, not to endure decades more of living death - and not long after that resolution, I improved, and found myself discharged, and incredibly grateful for the absolute basics of human existence - senses, mobility, possibility. So yeah. I had rent due the next month, but I decided to go live in a cabin in the woods instead. It’s six years now. The sky didn’t fall - in fact, I have never been so content, or so healthy - and on a way, I did die in 2016 - at any rate, the person I had been for the preceding 32 years did. Anyway. I ramble. My point was mainly that facing the mortality of someone close to you, or yourself, can have dramatic effects.
- oh_sigh 5y agoI assumed it was the older fellow in the 4th pic, but I guess it is the younger woman since they say 26 years flew by at the end?
- alksjdalkj 5y agoI also read it assuming it was the man but yeah it's the woman: https://imgur.com/gallery/305Y0Y0 https://imgur.com/gallery/305Y0Y0.
- stickfigure 5y agoThis was a worthwhile read, and better if you start at the beginning: #1 https://imgur.com/gallery/YICxS34 https://imgur.com/gallery/YICxS34 #2 https://imgur.com/gallery/305Y0Y0 https://imgur.com/gallery/305Y0Y0 #3 https://imgur.com/gallery/AlIWFQr https://imgur.com/gallery/AlIWFQr #4 https://imgur.com/gallery/Yow1ZhF https://imgur.com/gallery/Yow1ZhF #5 https://imgur.com/gallery/I5tA9rI https://imgur.com/gallery/I5tA9rI #6 https://imgur.com/gallery/RvtN51h https://imgur.com/gallery/RvtN51h #7 (finale, the OP) https://imgur.com/gallery/prUy1Kt https://imgur.com/gallery/prUy1Kt One easy thing to confuse if you start reading at #7 - the author is the 26yo woman, not the older gentleman in one of the pictures. There's a FAQ at the end of #5 but be sure to click on the "Load More Images" button at the bottom or it's clipped.
- deleted 5y ago[deleted]
- mxwsn 5y agoI hate to be that person, but after reading all 7 posts I am starting to question if this is fake. I saw a family member go from diagnosis to death from stage 4 cancer and several things just feel off to me. The timeline of the posts, with an initial expected death by end of April, then extended to next winter then a sudden "routine scan" that brings to back to end of April feels odd to me. Her energy to travel, sleep without meaningful heating in a van during the winter, deal with a van that keeps breaking down, and generally be active is also confusing to me. And the feel good writing, over 7 posts, starts to feel repetitively vague.
- sgtnoodle 5y agoI knew a man in Australia. A really crude guy, but also very sweet and kind. My friends and i met him in 2007, and he drove us around in his classic convertible Cadillac. We learned he had been told he had about 6 months until cancer would kill him. I met him again in 2009, and he seemed about the same, with his oily black hair down to his shoulders. He shared his expensive wine cellar with me and my friends, and drove a dozen of us to the bar in the back of his box van. He still had a 6 month prognosis. I met him again in 2011, and he was bald. He had sold all of his classic cars, and he said the doctors were pretty serious about the 6 months that time. I haven't been back to Australia since, but presumably he's passed on.
- teslabox 5y agoWhen my dog’s time is up, I’ll either use CO2 or nitrogen on her. CO2 is sometimes used when cattle are slaughtered. Put the dog in a box, fill with CO2. Easy way to go. There’s an 1940’s book/movie, Green for Danger, with a strategy for hiding your self-termination with industrial gasses.
- speedbird 5y agoPlease don’t CO2 causes extreme stress for a period before causing unconsciousness Do a little research And just pay a decent vet to do it properly.
- jostmey 5y agoWhat makes you assume you will outlive your dog? I mean, you probably will, but are you facing the reality of the human condition that our life can end anytime? The author was 26
- malandrew 5y agoI thought high CO2 levels in blood induce panic? It was my understanding that the reflex that causes us to want to breath are not based on a lack of oxygen but a buildup of CO2. CO on the other hand doesn’t have this impact and you pass away without the panic.
- tgv 5y agoThat's what I understood too. Our body measures CO2 levels, and responds to them. CO, on the other hand, goes undetected, but binds hemoglobin, thus shutting us down. Please correct me if I'm wrong.
- refurb 5y agoCO2 is not great. It will induce panic and at high concentrations is very irritating to the respiratory system. It's used in some settings, because it's a trade off of distressing the animal when you move or restrain it. But it needs to be done right. Nitrogen is far better because there is no sensory cue that something is different.
- 5y ago
- diebir 5y agoI am in the same boat as this woman, probably got a few good months left. I am planning self deliverance with helium as soon as symptoms become significant. For now I am just checking things off my bucket list and trying to have as many adventures as possible (I am an outdoor adventurer and a software engineer).
- paraschopra 5y agoSorry to hear this.
- neo_cs193p 5y ago
- EnKopVand 5y agoWhat an outright evil thing to say to someone. I think you do yourself, and, whatever religion you may have been indoctrinated into a great disfavour by not actually learning about your faith. Most religions don’t actually forbid suicide anymore than they forbid a lot of other things like wearing leather pants. The fact that organised religions still make it more tabu has a lot more to do with controlling populations through faith than what is actually written in your religions texts.
- adamredwoods 5y agoWhile we all think of the 'right to die' or 'live life to the fullest', we should also think about how we can stop metastatic cancer. As I continue to read on the biology of cancer (due to several family illnesses), it seems so strange how epithelial cells not only bypass cell growth restrictions, but also migrate and survive in places in the body it shouldn't be in. How do tumor cells create a micro environment and thrive? How can we disable this? Although tumor cells vary wildly, my gut feeling is there may be a few commonalities we can surface that can slow down metastatic progression. Car-T cell therapy doesn't seem to be the way forward. Keytruda and immunotherapy seems more likely. Can we do better?
- mywacaday 5y agoWhere is a good place to start reading for someone without a medical background, unfortunately my mum has received a terminal diagnosis in the last week.
- adamredwoods 5y agoI have been reading "Molecular Biology of Cancer Mechanisms, Targets, and Therapeutics" by Lauren Pecorino, Fifth edition.
- Ocerge 5y agoAs a complete layman, I read Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography of Cancer by Siddhartha Mukherjee and found it interesting, especially with respect to how little we know about cancer, even today.
- wholinator2 5y agoI honestly don't have a reading recommendation but I just wanted to comment my mom also received a terminal diagnosis. She went on to live a number more fulfilling years and we made some fun memories in that time. I do genuinely hope things go as well as they can for you and your mum. <3
- mdoms 5y ago
- kleiba 5y agoIt's moments like these, when facing your own mortality, when the mind starts looking for something bigger. To some it may be religion, for others it could be something completely different. I think a lot of people feel similarly although it is maybe not the first thing that comes to mind, but to me, music is one of those things that carries an inherent immortality in it. Music is able to touch us emotionally like not a lot of other things can. Listening to a beautiful piece of music can be very inspiring, and in can also give comfort. It has this feeling of an eternal beauty, I find, it's hard to put in words. Just think of it this way: We will not all die, but we will all be transformed! It will happen in a moment, in the blink of an eye, when the last trumpet is blown. For when the trumpet sounds, those who have died will be raised to live forever. And we who are living will also be transformed. For our dying bodies must be transformed into bodies that will never die; our mortal bodies must be transformed into immortal bodies.
- turing_complete 5y agoSad. We need to cure cancer. Delete the disease from the source code of reality. I won't respond to midwit cancer-is-good-actually responses.
- brainzap 5y agoah sweet immortality
- madaxe_again 5y agoTell Helen Lacks that.
- silentOpen 5y agoYou mean Henrietta
- madaxe_again 5y agoYes, I do.
- giorgioz 5y agoYes I agree. I have an unpopular opinion: I don't want to die. I wish I could live a 1000 years. I wish I could be immortal yet able to die when I decide so. Somehow these ideas are considered madness/evil by most people. I think they are just unreachable rather than evil and people play the Fox with the grapes (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fox_and_the_Grapes https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fox_and_the_Grapes) Not sure why in movies the guy whose looking for eternal life is evil and usually have to gain eternal life by killing others. I respect life, my own and the one of others, sacrificing others to extend my life would not be acceptable.
- M4v3R 5y agoI don't think that's a very unpopular opinion. Pretty much every religion gives you hope that you will not cease to exist, that death is just a transition. Some of them even promise you everlasting life on Earth. And that's a very strong motivation for their adherents to keep believing.
- uuyi 5y agoMeta subject but I owned a Fiat Doblo and it was a write off at 35k miles. Never buy one. The things are money sinks. If you want van life buy anything else.
- VHRanger 5y agoI've gone across Canada in a NV2500, and it went well but in retrospect I should have gone with a Ford or GMC If you're in the middle of nowhere and something breaks, a Ford or GMC will be easy to get parts for and repair vs another brand
- WilTimSon 5y agoBloody hell, that Winnie the Pooh quote got my eyes watering. I see people in the comments questioning whether the story is real but, regardless of that, I do want to compliment this woman's style of writing. It's not overly grim, not saccharine "everything is beautiful". Very matter of fact, very bittersweet. Cancer is a terrible thing and I hope we beat it one day. I'm glad she at least had the NHS covering her expenses because I cannot imagine how gutting it'd be to deal with the loss of a loved one compounded with debt. May her last days be as devoid of fear as possible.
- noneeeed 5y agoThe original Winnie the Pooh stories are genuinely wonderful. If your only exposure is the Disney version I thoroughly recommend reading them. I've always loved the way that the other animals treat Eeyor.
- agentwiggles 5y agoI agree, the original stories are something very special. The Disney movies are very hit or miss - the ones which stick close to the stories are generally good renderings of the original tone. The 'cash grab' holiday themed ones are generally awful. There are moments in those stories that made my kids and I laugh out loud - Eeyore is such a funny character. Him drifting down the river in the "Pooh sticks" story is a mental image that still brings a smile to my face.
- ivolimmen 5y agoVery nice and emotional read. I cried.
- cersa8 5y agoUntil you experience this simple way of traveling, it may look like an uncomfortable thing to do. My girlfriend has Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and loves traveling this way, where she would often be bedridden at home for days, when traveling she can at least be in a natural park, listening to birds, waking up by a tawny owl, see deer and foxes pass by the car without noticing you. Life becomes simple and you're so much closer to nature. Even with sub zero temperatures and no heating at night, with the right gear this is still very doable. Of course you have to go to places with low population density and be mindful of your surroundings.
- ianai 5y agoWhat are the costs like per month/year?
- cersa8 5y agoDifficult to say as it depends on the region and distances you are going to travel. We often do this for a couple of weeks with the longest trip being 2 months, while traveling from Northern to Southern Europe where we spend the winter at a rental villa. Biggest cost is the occasional hotel or apartment to freshen up. Otherwise just fuel + food.
- throwaway787544 5y agoVan investment: from $5,000 to $175,000, but more likely $20,000-$50,000. Maintenance: $2500/yr. Insurance: $300/m. Gas: $150-$400/m, depending how much you drive. Camp site fees: $0-50/day. Food: $100/m. I think the bigger question is, what does it cost you to give up on your dream?
- bitxbitxbitcoin 5y agoSpot on. That insurance number is for the average van investment so if you start out with a $5000 van like I did you will pay closer to $300 a year for insurance. In case it isn’t obvious, this budget includes like one meal eaten out per month if that.
- 5y ago
- Mildlypolite 5y agoIt's a good day to cry, apparently
- jgrowl 5y ago"When the sun goes down, the stars come out." A beautiful way of signing off reminds me of Bowie's Blackstar album. "Something happened on the day he died. Spirit rose a metre, then stepped aside. Somebody else took his place and bravely cried, "I'm a black star, I’m a star’s star, I’m a blackstar" -David Bowie
- edgartaor 5y agoFuck cancer
- UncleOxidant 5y ago> My flight to [undisclosed sensible European country] has been booked for 19 April, and all that remains is to say my goodbyes. The implication being going to a country which has physician assisted suicide for terminal patients. No need to go to Europe for that, it's available in Oregon.
- Epiphany21 5y agoTo be fair, if I were merely vacationing somewhere right before I died I wouldn't disclose it either. Internet weirdos bothering me during my final weeks would be crap.
- compiler-guy 5y agoShe is already in Europe.
- westcort 5y agoAlthough it is completely your decision, I wanted to refer you to a contact at MSKCC who is developing mesothelin-targeted CAR-T therapy. It is worth calling or emailing to see if you could be considered: Roisin O'Cearbhail, MD 646-608-3742 cart@mskcc.org As a pharmacist who works in research, if I had a refractory cancer, this is the kind of therapy I would want for myself as a last shot at survival.