4 ms·

It's funny because the exact opposite is true for me, and is the reason I won't be having kids. I recovered my creativity and wonder for life through just livin

It's funny because the exact opposite is true for me, and is the reason I won't be having kids. I recovered my creativity and wonder for life through just living life how I want to, rather than based on what I thought was normal or typical. Part of that was rejecting the societal expectation of having kids. Now I have a blast pursuing my interests and looking forward to living the rest of my life this way, without having to make compromises in time or resources for children.

TaupeRanger 5y ago
You can do all of those things with children, and then you won't be a burden on society when you're older, having no one left to care about you except the nursing home staff, and as a bonus you'll get to help continue the human race, which is always good.
- witx 5y ago
  Because having kids with the mindset of: "I'll be a burden to them instead of the nursing home staff / society" is a great reason to have kids ...
  - rob74 5y ago
    Plus, beside the moral conundrum of not wanting to be a burden for your children, there's always the possibility that your children will simply not accept the burden and send you to a nursing home anyway...
  - TaupeRanger 5y ago
    No, it's not and I never said it was. It is simply a fact about not having children.
    - witx 5y ago
      Yes you did: > You can do all of those things with children, and then you won't be a burden on society (...)
- rob74 5y ago
  My attitude to "being a burden on society" is: "I paid taxes all my working life, so if I get some of that money back, all the better!". Of course, not having to go to a nursing home is the even better alternative, but unfortunately nobody can rule that out.
  - TaupeRanger 5y ago
    I think a person deserves to get elderly care when needed...I was moreso talking about the fact that no one in the world will literally care about the childless person, because no one younger will be in their life. I think people who decide not to have kids often privilege their well being in their 30s-50s without thinking about how poor and lonely the last 30 years of their lives might be. It's just another angle to consider in this complex decision.
    - yoyohello13 5y ago
      > no one in the world will literally care about the childless person. This is entirely dependent on the person. I think you're partially right that nobody will care about you (as much) as your kids (potentially) will. If you spend your life focusing on yourself, then yeah, nobody will probably care about you. If you spend your life devoted to serving others and making an impact in your community then plenty of people will care about you when you're old. I've known many older people who have done great things for the community and the community gathers together to help them in return. You affect other people caring about you through your actions.
- unsupp0rted 5y ago
  Isn't it unethical to have children so as to use them as a safety net later in life, after having conditioned them from birth to attach to you and care for you?
  - Fricken 5y ago
    No, that's how it has been through all history.
    - unsupp0rted 5y ago
      Historical and ethical are two separate things.
      - willcipriano 5y ago
        It's impossible to divorce the two, what we consider ethical is what we have done historically for the most part.
- silicon2401 5y ago
  > you won't be a burden on society when you're older, having no one left to care about you except the nursing home staff, thanks for your concern, but I'm not concerned :) > help continue the human race, which is always good. I disagree, which is part of why I'm not having kids!
  - TaupeRanger 5y ago
    Of course you aren't concerned NOW...in 30 or 40 years you certainly will be. But then, you appear to be a nihilistic antinatalist, so there are clearly other issues at play here.
    - silicon2401 5y ago
      > you appear to be a nihilistic antinatalist, so there are clearly other issues at play here. The only issue I see is you taking the way others live their lives so personally lol > Of course you aren't concerned NOW...in 30 or 40 years you certainly will be. Looks like you've never met people who are happy without having kids. Meet some and come back to me, and I think our convo will be more productive
      - ix101 5y ago
        I suspect that people who haven't had kids will not like to admit that they have any regrets about their decision, just like you will rarely find a parent that will say they wish they hadn't had a child. Once you're over a certain age you can't really change your mind. Some people decide to focus on their careers, but becoming a parent doesn't mean you won't reach your career goals.
- Xenixo 5y ago

TaupeRanger 5y ago

You can do all of those things with children, and then you won't be a burden on society when you're older, having no one left to care about you except the nursing home staff, and as a bonus you'll get to help continue the human race, which is always good.

witx 5y ago
Because having kids with the mindset of: "I'll be a burden to them instead of the nursing home staff / society" is a great reason to have kids ...
- rob74 5y ago
  Plus, beside the moral conundrum of not wanting to be a burden for your children, there's always the possibility that your children will simply not accept the burden and send you to a nursing home anyway...
- TaupeRanger 5y ago
  No, it's not and I never said it was. It is simply a fact about not having children.
  - witx 5y ago
    Yes you did: > You can do all of those things with children, and then you won't be a burden on society (...)
rob74 5y ago
My attitude to "being a burden on society" is: "I paid taxes all my working life, so if I get some of that money back, all the better!". Of course, not having to go to a nursing home is the even better alternative, but unfortunately nobody can rule that out.
- TaupeRanger 5y ago
  I think a person deserves to get elderly care when needed...I was moreso talking about the fact that no one in the world will literally care about the childless person, because no one younger will be in their life. I think people who decide not to have kids often privilege their well being in their 30s-50s without thinking about how poor and lonely the last 30 years of their lives might be. It's just another angle to consider in this complex decision.
  - yoyohello13 5y ago
    > no one in the world will literally care about the childless person. This is entirely dependent on the person. I think you're partially right that nobody will care about you (as much) as your kids (potentially) will. If you spend your life focusing on yourself, then yeah, nobody will probably care about you. If you spend your life devoted to serving others and making an impact in your community then plenty of people will care about you when you're old. I've known many older people who have done great things for the community and the community gathers together to help them in return. You affect other people caring about you through your actions.
unsupp0rted 5y ago
Isn't it unethical to have children so as to use them as a safety net later in life, after having conditioned them from birth to attach to you and care for you?
- Fricken 5y ago
  No, that's how it has been through all history.
  - unsupp0rted 5y ago
    Historical and ethical are two separate things.
    - willcipriano 5y ago
      It's impossible to divorce the two, what we consider ethical is what we have done historically for the most part.
silicon2401 5y ago
> you won't be a burden on society when you're older, having no one left to care about you except the nursing home staff, thanks for your concern, but I'm not concerned :) > help continue the human race, which is always good. I disagree, which is part of why I'm not having kids!
- TaupeRanger 5y ago
  Of course you aren't concerned NOW...in 30 or 40 years you certainly will be. But then, you appear to be a nihilistic antinatalist, so there are clearly other issues at play here.
  - silicon2401 5y ago
    > you appear to be a nihilistic antinatalist, so there are clearly other issues at play here. The only issue I see is you taking the way others live their lives so personally lol > Of course you aren't concerned NOW...in 30 or 40 years you certainly will be. Looks like you've never met people who are happy without having kids. Meet some and come back to me, and I think our convo will be more productive
    - ix101 5y ago
      I suspect that people who haven't had kids will not like to admit that they have any regrets about their decision, just like you will rarely find a parent that will say they wish they hadn't had a child. Once you're over a certain age you can't really change your mind. Some people decide to focus on their careers, but becoming a parent doesn't mean you won't reach your career goals.
Xenixo 5y ago