4 ms·

"Nailed" it. Perfect description of my situation. I wish I weren't like this

endymi0n 5y ago
To say it with the words of my first boss that stuck with me: "Love it, change it or leave it. No amount of complaining will ever do anything else than paint you as a naysayer." Was a hard pill to swallow, but my own experience proved me again and again he was spot on.
- mjevans 5y ago
  In this case, would the 'change it' option be to just work from home and see what happens?
  - bob2222 5y ago
    find a fully remote job if you can
    - pfarrell 5y ago
      At least give it a try. I suspect based on join dates that I’m similar or older than the OP. The more senior you get, the more time it can take on a search, but with remote work, you should definitely be trying.
    - dzhiurgis 5y ago
      Whats the market like right now? I have a feeling extremely tight as everyone wants a remote job now?
      - tomrod 5y ago
        Reporting in, both as employer and targeted as employee through recruiting channels. Recruiters are in full swing and it is hard to find people with data/analytics skillsets. Developers seem similar. Knowing coding seems like foot in the door, modern applications have all kinds of disparate dependencies like k8s, docker, virtualization, Kafka, etc.
  - mattcwilson 5y ago
    I read “change it” as encompassing any modification to the status quo short of quitting it altogether. So, yes. But so also would be writing a petition to reinstitute work from home as a “performance bonus” and getting it signed by as many other company bright-lights as possible. Lots of options.
  - xtiansimon 5y ago
    Exactly, but only if you’re ready to get fired.
    - orwin 5y ago
      I'm doing this, new company policies are half a week in office. I get there 2 days a month since December (4 days this month but I needed to met coworkers). I do get email from the management occasionally but I either ignore them or use a poor excuse 'i didn't feel well enough to take the train this week '. They know I'm able to find a new job so they don't have any leverage.
- m_fayer 5y ago
  I'm starting to doubt this advice. I'm a "change it" sort of personality by nature - a reformer. When faced with these 3 options, I've chosen "change it" many times. And more often than not, I've found myself in a political crossfire, with new unwelcome knowledge of the various forces (typically some combination of self interest, ego, and turf-guarding) that are responsible for the thing I'm trying to change. My current lesson is - most things that look like an easy win would have been claimed a long time ago if not for some unholy hidden mess. If I'm to vote for "change", I should be prepared to deal with the unholy mess. It doesn't matter that I don't see it, it's out there somewhere. Since I rarely want to take on an unholy mess, and I'm not good at the kind of doublethink that would allow me to love a thing I'm not inclined to love, usually that just leaves one option.
  - snowwrestler 5y ago
    Creating change isn’t easy. But it is an option.
  - citizenkeen 5y ago
    I think you're missing the point. If you don't love it, then either change it or leave. It doesn't require doublethink to love something. If you get somewhere, and you don't love it, _then_ you're left with two choices. If you're unwilling/unable to go through a change process, or if you've selected a company that's bad at change, then yes, now you only have one option.
  - revolvingocelot 5y ago
    Worse yet, IME, being a keen participant in HN's technical side almost precludes one's ability to overcome the other players, those who fight in the name of some combination of self interest, ego, and turf-guarding. To vanquish these, in the name of The Right Way, one ultimately must engage them in social combat, whether by proxy or directly. And they're better at it than you are. Nerds may be clever, and they may actually be right, but the other players are usually more convincing. And I don't mean merely argumentatively.
    - greedo 5y ago
- benhurmarcel 5y ago
  You can also just bear it, live with it. Actually that's often the best choice, you need to pick your battles.
  - sevrinsky 5y ago
    This. "Accept it" or "ignore it" are perfectly valid options, and perhaps the healthiest for one's mental and emotional state.
agumonkey 5y ago
That said the dog has only one nail to deal with. Adult life means balancing rent / stability / safety / job. It's sad that manager never understand what people want to be happy for their company and so easily find ways to make us go into cynical mode (slow down and cope with side project).

To say it with the words of my first boss that stuck with me: "Love it, change it or leave it. No amount of complaining will ever do anything else than paint you as a naysayer." Was a hard pill to swallow, but my own experience proved me again and again he was spot on.

mjevans 5y ago
In this case, would the 'change it' option be to just work from home and see what happens?
- bob2222 5y ago
  find a fully remote job if you can
  - pfarrell 5y ago
    At least give it a try. I suspect based on join dates that I’m similar or older than the OP. The more senior you get, the more time it can take on a search, but with remote work, you should definitely be trying.
  - dzhiurgis 5y ago
    Whats the market like right now? I have a feeling extremely tight as everyone wants a remote job now?
    - tomrod 5y ago
      Reporting in, both as employer and targeted as employee through recruiting channels. Recruiters are in full swing and it is hard to find people with data/analytics skillsets. Developers seem similar. Knowing coding seems like foot in the door, modern applications have all kinds of disparate dependencies like k8s, docker, virtualization, Kafka, etc.
- mattcwilson 5y ago
  I read “change it” as encompassing any modification to the status quo short of quitting it altogether. So, yes. But so also would be writing a petition to reinstitute work from home as a “performance bonus” and getting it signed by as many other company bright-lights as possible. Lots of options.
- xtiansimon 5y ago
  Exactly, but only if you’re ready to get fired.
  - orwin 5y ago
    I'm doing this, new company policies are half a week in office. I get there 2 days a month since December (4 days this month but I needed to met coworkers). I do get email from the management occasionally but I either ignore them or use a poor excuse 'i didn't feel well enough to take the train this week '. They know I'm able to find a new job so they don't have any leverage.
m_fayer 5y ago
I'm starting to doubt this advice. I'm a "change it" sort of personality by nature - a reformer. When faced with these 3 options, I've chosen "change it" many times. And more often than not, I've found myself in a political crossfire, with new unwelcome knowledge of the various forces (typically some combination of self interest, ego, and turf-guarding) that are responsible for the thing I'm trying to change. My current lesson is - most things that look like an easy win would have been claimed a long time ago if not for some unholy hidden mess. If I'm to vote for "change", I should be prepared to deal with the unholy mess. It doesn't matter that I don't see it, it's out there somewhere. Since I rarely want to take on an unholy mess, and I'm not good at the kind of doublethink that would allow me to love a thing I'm not inclined to love, usually that just leaves one option.
- snowwrestler 5y ago
  Creating change isn’t easy. But it is an option.
- citizenkeen 5y ago
  I think you're missing the point. If you don't love it, then either change it or leave. It doesn't require doublethink to love something. If you get somewhere, and you don't love it, _then_ you're left with two choices. If you're unwilling/unable to go through a change process, or if you've selected a company that's bad at change, then yes, now you only have one option.
- revolvingocelot 5y ago
  Worse yet, IME, being a keen participant in HN's technical side almost precludes one's ability to overcome the other players, those who fight in the name of some combination of self interest, ego, and turf-guarding. To vanquish these, in the name of The Right Way, one ultimately must engage them in social combat, whether by proxy or directly. And they're better at it than you are. Nerds may be clever, and they may actually be right, but the other players are usually more convincing. And I don't mean merely argumentatively.
  - greedo 5y ago
benhurmarcel 5y ago
You can also just bear it, live with it. Actually that's often the best choice, you need to pick your battles.
- sevrinsky 5y ago
  This. "Accept it" or "ignore it" are perfectly valid options, and perhaps the healthiest for one's mental and emotional state.

agumonkey 5y ago

That said the dog has only one nail to deal with. Adult life means balancing rent / stability / safety / job. It's sad that manager never understand what people want to be happy for their company and so easily find ways to make us go into cynical mode (slow down and cope with side project).