5 ms·

Tinder is basically 5/100 guys getting all the matches per 90/100 women.

anonporridge 5y ago
I believe old OkCupid data (which has since been deleted from their blog) found exactly this. In short, males looking for females are very even in their rating of women along a bell curve. Females looking for males heavily skew towards the top 20% of males, while considering the bottom 80% "below average". Tinder, and every other dating app, absolutely take advantage of this deep truth of human psychology and milk the bottom echelon of desperate men for every penny they can.
- greatpostman 5y ago
  Yeah, basically they make you pay to tip the odds so in your favor that you might overcome that terrible ratio I quoted
  - 8f2ab37a-ed6c 5y ago
    I'm actually surprised that dating apps aren't doing more with monetization opportunities. There are plenty of whales out there who would be happy to deploy their disposable income for mating opportunities. Why not let someone spend $1000 a day to be the top displayed profile in a city for an entire day?
    - anonporridge 5y ago
      Those people aren't using Tinder. There are "dating" sites that specialize in connecting wealthy/successful people (mostly older men) with young, beautiful people (mostly women). They do charge quite a bit and make bank.
      - 8f2ab37a-ed6c 5y ago
        I'm not an expert at that particular area, but my anecdotal impression was that high-end matchmaking services (say 50-100k to find a life partner) were fairly underwhelming. Or are you talking about the whole sugar dating world here?
        tmpz22 5y ago
        GP is most certainly referencing the sugar daddy explosion
        8f2ab37a-ed6c 5y ago
        I don't think that's apples-to-apples though. Sugar dating is typically transactional and typically doesn't lead to genuine connection and relationships, whereas most datings apps are about something more than an occasional hookup, including Tinder (see the millions of "not here for a hookup" statements in womens' profiles that have been there for years).
        bradlys 5y ago
        Correct. Sugar dating is definitely not the same thing as matchmaking or even trying to get a partner on apps. Sugar dating is very much a transactional one. It’s a more affordable version of sex work.
      - xiphias2 5y ago
        I’m wealthy enough to pay for these kinds of services, but never tried them, as I find sex with women who just want me for my money boring / a haggle between the amount of money a girl wants to extract from me vs the amount of sex I want to have with her. The more I experienced this, the more I realized that it’s better to do 2 hours of sports a day (1 hour running and 1 hour gym, while dieting). The Jeff Bezos / Leonardo DiCaprio scene clearly shows that money can’t buy sexual attraction.
    - Lewton 5y ago
      You can already do this in tinder for about 24x30 usd (prices probably vary)
- atlgator 5y ago
  It was all published in a book called Dataclysm by Christian Rudder.
  - anonporridge 5y ago
    Thanks! Ref, https://www.amazon.com/Dataclysm-Identity-What-Online-Offline-Selves/dp/0385347391 https://www.amazon.com/Dataclysm-Identity-What-Online-Offlin...
- bruceb 5y ago
  Take that OkCupid stuff with a grain of salt. While I am sure there are general trends that are true, OkCupid didn't isolate the characteristic they were testing. So their stats were just a crude measure.
- Beltalowda 5y ago
  Having looked a bit at male profiles, I have to say that a lot of profiles really are quite bad. For whatever reason, the "average quality" is worse.
  - baobabKoodaa 5y ago
    Are they so bad that the average male profile is somehow below average?
    - Beltalowda 5y ago
      If half the profiles are just a no-brainer "no" then the "real average" is only over the top 50% rather than the full 100%. I don't deny that using these apps as a man is a more difficult experience in actually landing a date, but many women are also frustrated by the tons of crappy/creepy men out there (e.g. "dickpics" and such). Being in the "top 30/20%" is easier than you'd might think. The biggest challenge is that Tinder can be an emotional rollercoaster and really screw over your self-esteem.
      - baobabKoodaa 5y ago
        > If half the profiles are just a no-brainer "no" then the "real average" is only over the top 50% rather than the full 100%. You're doing a lot of mental gymnastics to redefine terms like "average". Ah yes, it is perfectly fine for women to consider 80% of men to be below average in attractiveness, because those 80% are just a no-brainer "no" because they are not attractive and math is hard. > I don't deny that using these apps as a man is a more difficult experience in actually landing a date, but many women are also frustrated by the tons of crappy/creepy men out there (e.g. "dickpics" and such). Being in the "top 30/20%" is easier than you'd might think. Perhaps you are in the top 20% of men so you feel that it is easy to be in the top 20% bracket, but men who are not up there don't really have a path to get there. You imply that men should simply stop sending dick picks (and stop doing other, very obviously bad things), but the proportion of men sending unwarranted dick pics is vanishingly small.
        5y ago
symlinkk 5y ago
Funny that a few years ago this was an “incel” opinion and would get you banned from Reddit. Now it’s practically common sense
- greatpostman 5y ago
  Yeah the narrative has really changed. It’s not that different from the lab leak theory
  - symlinkk 5y ago
    I wonder what other opinions we aren’t allowed to have today that could end up being true?
    - greatpostman 5y ago
      A whole host of things :) You can’t get rid of the truth, only ban it for a moment. Funny thing is religion and monogamy were built to solve this tinder problem. Society has known about it for a long time
    - meepmorp 5y ago
      You seem like you have some in mind, why not get them out?
      - dane-pgp 5y ago
        Nice try, Minitrue.
    - chii 5y ago
      > we aren’t allowed to have today that could end up being true? i'd say rather than not allowed, it's more an uncomfortable truth that people are too socially stigmatized to agree or say. I think as society sheds such stigma, over time, society becomes more progressive and "free".
    - hunterb123 5y ago
deleted 5y ago
[deleted]

I believe old OkCupid data (which has since been deleted from their blog) found exactly this. In short, males looking for females are very even in their rating of women along a bell curve. Females looking for males heavily skew towards the top 20% of males, while considering the bottom 80% "below average". Tinder, and every other dating app, absolutely take advantage of this deep truth of human psychology and milk the bottom echelon of desperate men for every penny they can.

greatpostman 5y ago
Yeah, basically they make you pay to tip the odds so in your favor that you might overcome that terrible ratio I quoted
- 8f2ab37a-ed6c 5y ago
  I'm actually surprised that dating apps aren't doing more with monetization opportunities. There are plenty of whales out there who would be happy to deploy their disposable income for mating opportunities. Why not let someone spend $1000 a day to be the top displayed profile in a city for an entire day?
  - anonporridge 5y ago
    Those people aren't using Tinder. There are "dating" sites that specialize in connecting wealthy/successful people (mostly older men) with young, beautiful people (mostly women). They do charge quite a bit and make bank.
    - 8f2ab37a-ed6c 5y ago
      I'm not an expert at that particular area, but my anecdotal impression was that high-end matchmaking services (say 50-100k to find a life partner) were fairly underwhelming. Or are you talking about the whole sugar dating world here?
      - tmpz22 5y ago
        GP is most certainly referencing the sugar daddy explosion
        8f2ab37a-ed6c 5y ago
        I don't think that's apples-to-apples though. Sugar dating is typically transactional and typically doesn't lead to genuine connection and relationships, whereas most datings apps are about something more than an occasional hookup, including Tinder (see the millions of "not here for a hookup" statements in womens' profiles that have been there for years).
        bradlys 5y ago
        Correct. Sugar dating is definitely not the same thing as matchmaking or even trying to get a partner on apps. Sugar dating is very much a transactional one. It’s a more affordable version of sex work.
    - xiphias2 5y ago
      I’m wealthy enough to pay for these kinds of services, but never tried them, as I find sex with women who just want me for my money boring / a haggle between the amount of money a girl wants to extract from me vs the amount of sex I want to have with her. The more I experienced this, the more I realized that it’s better to do 2 hours of sports a day (1 hour running and 1 hour gym, while dieting). The Jeff Bezos / Leonardo DiCaprio scene clearly shows that money can’t buy sexual attraction.
  - Lewton 5y ago
    You can already do this in tinder for about 24x30 usd (prices probably vary)
atlgator 5y ago
It was all published in a book called Dataclysm by Christian Rudder.
- anonporridge 5y ago
  Thanks! Ref, https://www.amazon.com/Dataclysm-Identity-What-Online-Offline-Selves/dp/0385347391 https://www.amazon.com/Dataclysm-Identity-What-Online-Offlin...
bruceb 5y ago
Take that OkCupid stuff with a grain of salt. While I am sure there are general trends that are true, OkCupid didn't isolate the characteristic they were testing. So their stats were just a crude measure.
Beltalowda 5y ago
Having looked a bit at male profiles, I have to say that a lot of profiles really are quite bad. For whatever reason, the "average quality" is worse.
- baobabKoodaa 5y ago
  Are they so bad that the average male profile is somehow below average?
  - Beltalowda 5y ago
    If half the profiles are just a no-brainer "no" then the "real average" is only over the top 50% rather than the full 100%. I don't deny that using these apps as a man is a more difficult experience in actually landing a date, but many women are also frustrated by the tons of crappy/creepy men out there (e.g. "dickpics" and such). Being in the "top 30/20%" is easier than you'd might think. The biggest challenge is that Tinder can be an emotional rollercoaster and really screw over your self-esteem.
    - baobabKoodaa 5y ago
      > If half the profiles are just a no-brainer "no" then the "real average" is only over the top 50% rather than the full 100%. You're doing a lot of mental gymnastics to redefine terms like "average". Ah yes, it is perfectly fine for women to consider 80% of men to be below average in attractiveness, because those 80% are just a no-brainer "no" because they are not attractive and math is hard. > I don't deny that using these apps as a man is a more difficult experience in actually landing a date, but many women are also frustrated by the tons of crappy/creepy men out there (e.g. "dickpics" and such). Being in the "top 30/20%" is easier than you'd might think. Perhaps you are in the top 20% of men so you feel that it is easy to be in the top 20% bracket, but men who are not up there don't really have a path to get there. You imply that men should simply stop sending dick picks (and stop doing other, very obviously bad things), but the proportion of men sending unwarranted dick pics is vanishingly small.
      - 5y ago

symlinkk 5y ago

Funny that a few years ago this was an “incel” opinion and would get you banned from Reddit. Now it’s practically common sense

greatpostman 5y ago
Yeah the narrative has really changed. It’s not that different from the lab leak theory
- symlinkk 5y ago
  I wonder what other opinions we aren’t allowed to have today that could end up being true?
  - greatpostman 5y ago
    A whole host of things :) You can’t get rid of the truth, only ban it for a moment. Funny thing is religion and monogamy were built to solve this tinder problem. Society has known about it for a long time
  - meepmorp 5y ago
    You seem like you have some in mind, why not get them out?
    - dane-pgp 5y ago
      Nice try, Minitrue.
  - chii 5y ago
    > we aren’t allowed to have today that could end up being true? i'd say rather than not allowed, it's more an uncomfortable truth that people are too socially stigmatized to agree or say. I think as society sheds such stigma, over time, society becomes more progressive and "free".
  - hunterb123 5y ago

deleted 5y ago

[deleted]