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If it was going to be mandatory it would be much better to do it before birth using amniotic fluid. Waiting for the child to be born and then suddenly telling o

If it was going to be mandatory it would be much better to do it before birth using amniotic fluid. Waiting for the child to be born and then suddenly telling one parent that it's not their biological child isn't a great idea.

bluecalm 5y ago
Well, it's always the potential father that gets the news not one of the parents. Maybe it's not ideal to tell them once the child is born but it's still better than not telling them at all.
onphonenow 5y ago
That's an interesting idea, but a fair number of families don't want to do amniotic fluid testing. Paternity and maternity issues are pretty low incidence issues, but is VERY rough if it pops up with a 4 year old in the mix. If you've got wrong dad in the picture, at birth is a good time to chase down the right father! Get him paying child support if needed. Non-bio dad could still decide to stay around if desired - but transparency / honesty on the table.
toomuchtodo 5y ago
It can be done with a noninvasive blood test of the mother. I am a firm proponent of mandatory testing so fathers aren’t financially responsible for children that aren’t theirs (without their knowledge and consent). Historically, if a father later determines they're not the biological parent, family court will still stick them with child support until the child is 18 (or even older, sometimes requiring college support). https://americanpregnancy.org/paternity-tests/non-invasive-prenatal-paternity-test/ https://americanpregnancy.org/paternity-tests/non-invasive-p...
- onphonenow 5y ago
  Wow, NIPP testing is very cool - didn't know about that.
- mbreese 5y ago
  What will that accomplish? If a putative father is already suspicious (and doesn’t want to be a father), sure, then having a NIPT would make sense. But there is already an avenue for that. You would want to make that mandatory for all pregnancies? Not everyone wants to know that information and having a mandatory test could force people (fathers) into situations they don’t want to be in. Kids are more than a financial responsibility.
  - toomuchtodo 5y ago
    If it's not your kid biologically, and you're not a willing participant, it's not your responsibility. Pursue the biological parent for support. To do otherwise is equivalent to fraud. We don't force foster kids on people without their informed consent. This is no different. Edit: We agree to disagree. I fall firmly in the mandatory testing camp for accuracy of paternity for all involved parties. Trust but verify.
    - mbreese 5y ago
      If you’re not a willing participant, then you can still have the test. If you’re the type where if the kid isn’t your biological kid, then you wouldn’t want to be a father to them — then get a test. The question is — should it be mandatory for all pregnancies? Willing participant or otherwise. I’m not saying no one should have paternity testing. It should certainly be available. I just don’t think you should mandate it.
      - deleted 5y ago
        [deleted]
      - hackerfromthefu 5y ago
        Its also important to remove any doubt - to strengthen the bond in the cases where its true
        jakimfett 5y ago
        Given that before birth, it's the woman's body, and after birth it's the child's body being tested, and there is no clear medical case for paternity testing being a life-saving operation somehow... --- ...a mandatory test puts serious amounts of potential harm in the hands of a field that historically (and as demonstrated by some of the regrettable opinions expressed in this conversation thread), completely ignores the rights and consent of a woman and child while discussing how men might feel or believe about said topics. Relationships are complex things, and blanket legislation will never respect the full consent of the individuals involved. Give the mother freedom to request a pre-birth paternity test, and the child to request the results once they hit their teens, with confidential results. Anything past that is a relationship issue (does your spouse / child feel safe telling you the truth?), and any form of mandatory testing pre-birth would very much violate the bodily consent of the mother. Post-birth, if it's not a medically necessary operation, which paternity is not, it waits for when the kid is old enough to understand consent. Consent is not a debate. Consent is about functional boundary. In this case, it is simple: Not your body? Not your choice. Enable (their) choice instead of trying to control women and children's bodies, please.
EdwardDiego 5y ago
Amniocentesis carries a small, but real, risk of miscarriage

bluecalm 5y ago

Well, it's always the potential father that gets the news not one of the parents. Maybe it's not ideal to tell them once the child is born but it's still better than not telling them at all.

onphonenow 5y ago

That's an interesting idea, but a fair number of families don't want to do amniotic fluid testing. Paternity and maternity issues are pretty low incidence issues, but is VERY rough if it pops up with a 4 year old in the mix. If you've got wrong dad in the picture, at birth is a good time to chase down the right father! Get him paying child support if needed. Non-bio dad could still decide to stay around if desired - but transparency / honesty on the table.

toomuchtodo 5y ago

It can be done with a noninvasive blood test of the mother. I am a firm proponent of mandatory testing so fathers aren’t financially responsible for children that aren’t theirs (without their knowledge and consent). Historically, if a father later determines they're not the biological parent, family court will still stick them with child support until the child is 18 (or even older, sometimes requiring college support). https://americanpregnancy.org/paternity-tests/non-invasive-prenatal-paternity-test/ https://americanpregnancy.org/paternity-tests/non-invasive-p...

onphonenow 5y ago
Wow, NIPP testing is very cool - didn't know about that.
mbreese 5y ago
What will that accomplish? If a putative father is already suspicious (and doesn’t want to be a father), sure, then having a NIPT would make sense. But there is already an avenue for that. You would want to make that mandatory for all pregnancies? Not everyone wants to know that information and having a mandatory test could force people (fathers) into situations they don’t want to be in. Kids are more than a financial responsibility.
- toomuchtodo 5y ago
  If it's not your kid biologically, and you're not a willing participant, it's not your responsibility. Pursue the biological parent for support. To do otherwise is equivalent to fraud. We don't force foster kids on people without their informed consent. This is no different. Edit: We agree to disagree. I fall firmly in the mandatory testing camp for accuracy of paternity for all involved parties. Trust but verify.
  - mbreese 5y ago
    If you’re not a willing participant, then you can still have the test. If you’re the type where if the kid isn’t your biological kid, then you wouldn’t want to be a father to them — then get a test. The question is — should it be mandatory for all pregnancies? Willing participant or otherwise. I’m not saying no one should have paternity testing. It should certainly be available. I just don’t think you should mandate it.
    - deleted 5y ago
      [deleted]
    - hackerfromthefu 5y ago
      Its also important to remove any doubt - to strengthen the bond in the cases where its true
      - jakimfett 5y ago
        Given that before birth, it's the woman's body, and after birth it's the child's body being tested, and there is no clear medical case for paternity testing being a life-saving operation somehow... --- ...a mandatory test puts serious amounts of potential harm in the hands of a field that historically (and as demonstrated by some of the regrettable opinions expressed in this conversation thread), completely ignores the rights and consent of a woman and child while discussing how men might feel or believe about said topics. Relationships are complex things, and blanket legislation will never respect the full consent of the individuals involved. Give the mother freedom to request a pre-birth paternity test, and the child to request the results once they hit their teens, with confidential results. Anything past that is a relationship issue (does your spouse / child feel safe telling you the truth?), and any form of mandatory testing pre-birth would very much violate the bodily consent of the mother. Post-birth, if it's not a medically necessary operation, which paternity is not, it waits for when the kid is old enough to understand consent. Consent is not a debate. Consent is about functional boundary. In this case, it is simple: Not your body? Not your choice. Enable (their) choice instead of trying to control women and children's bodies, please.

EdwardDiego 5y ago

Amniocentesis carries a small, but real, risk of miscarriage