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As I said, as a kid I would have hated this. I don't think kids benefit from this kind of overbearing parenting in the long run. Better than being neglected, I

As I said, as a kid I would have hated this. I don't think kids benefit from this kind of overbearing parenting in the long run. Better than being neglected, I guess. Perhaps this is useful for very young children, but knowing myself I would have broken out of there as quickly as possible.

wonderwonder 5y ago
I can understand personal preference of a child but study after study show that children whose parents are actively involved with their education and schooling get better results.
- jacobolus 5y ago
  Active involvement = parent teaches child various skills and ideas, reads books aloud, suggests interesting problems to solve, works together with them on extra-curricular projects, obtains materials and resources related to the child’s personal interests, ... Micromanaging the completion of their school-assigned busywork is something different.
  - wonderwonder 5y ago
    I don't know if you have kids, I am guessing not, if I am wrong, my apologies. Knowing what your kids have due for school is not micromanaging its a core part of being a good parent. I know if my kid has a math test so it lets me sit down with him and review for his test, it allows me to ensure he knows the basis for whatever comes next in his curriculum. Terribly overbearing parents are not good but I think people are for some reason assuming the worst from this app and more so the parents that use it and it seems very odd to me. I ensure my kids study for their weekly spelling tests for 10 minutes a day, and review with them before tests and that is seen as micromanaging and negative? Strange times.
    - redis_mlc 5y ago
      Yeah, that's micromanaging.
    - Symbiote 5y ago
      Active involvement would be talking to your children and asking them what they have for school. Looking up their schedule on a website is passive involvement. I'm relieved these systems didn't exist when I was a child.
      - tata71 5y ago
        (Reading about people) breaking Blackboard et al was some of the best fun in school days....
      - kfarr 5y ago
        Of course these systems existed, they just used paper or other mediums. Did you not receive calendars, directory books or yearbooks, permission slip for upcoming museum trip, etc? Save the date slip or important school numbers magnet for the fridge?
      - falcolas 5y ago
        If there's one thing I remember from my own childhood, and know from my various nieces and nephews - children can't be expected to tell the whole truth, or sometimes even remember the whole truth. One bad test, one missed homework, turns into a spiral of shame that makes children hide the truth out of a fear for their parent's and other trusted adults' disappointment (real or imagined). If my parents knew the truth - when I know the truth - we can fix it before it spirals into an unfixable situation, and not after. Not all children are perfect, nor perfectly able to remember every event and assignment they have.
    - jacobolus 5y ago
      My oldest kid is 5, but I hope when he is older I can leave him to handle his own schoolwork (offering help if he wants it). > study for their weekly spelling tests for 10 minutes a day Aside: Spending 1.5+ hours per week between home and school studying spelling per se in the way students typically study spelling is an outrageous waste of time. Arguably studying spelling per se is a waste of time in any quantity (as compared to spending that time on intrinsically motivated reading and writing, and learning how to spell as a side effect), but anyone who cares enough about this to devote hundreds of hours to it should set up some kind of spaced repetition system.
  - popcube 5y ago
    if parents want to do this, they should know they kids have exam... just one semester failue on exam, kids will start escape and "forgot" homework and more test, if parent work too hard they even have no chance find it...
- Loughla 5y ago
  I guess this comes down to the definition of actively involved versus overbearing. There is a fine, fine, fine line to walk between the two. Knowing how your kid is doing, asking questions, and being interested in their schooling is okay. Using it to force action without learning consequence is not. It is, sometimes, okay for a kid to miss an assignment because they're not great at time management. That's how they learn consequences for their actions. Anyway, you two have a fundamental disagreement, I believe, about the level of interaction and control required to be involved.
- raxxorrax 5y ago
  Kids primarily benefit from parents education and their engagement in their children. But more by providing stimuli, not by surveillance. This isn't a black and white issue and as I said, it depends on their age. As I understand it we are talking about more or less preteens here.
- willcipriano 5y ago
  Correlation does not equal causation. Parents more involved in school are more likely to be involved at home more generally.
- GhettoComputers 5y ago
  That assumes an environment that your parents will be actively involved and understand how to use the non functional swedish site.
- eptcyka 5y ago
  I don't know anyone personally whose parents were involved with them during their school years and they achieved moderate or high grades.
- cutemonster 5y ago
  I was a bit happy for sometimes getting help with reviewing homework and someone to practice English words with (that is, one of my parents). And who reminded me of things I'd forgotten, be it homework or the sports bag. Some people here (not you) seem to think that one shoe fits all -- that because they didn't want the parents to be involved, that's what best for everyone. When in fact kids (and grown up people too) can be very different from each other
wonderwonder 5y ago
All kids are sent home with a folder that lists the homework they have due, tests they have taken etc. This just puts it online? Are you saying that putting it online is the issue or that parents should have no insight on what their kids are doing unless the kid decides to tell the parent?
- matheusmoreira 5y ago
  > parents should have no insight on what their kids are doing unless the kid decides to tell the parent As a kid this is exactly what I believed. Parents believe otherwise, of course.
  - dgfitz 5y ago
    Do you have children? Honest question.
    - matheusmoreira 5y ago
      Not yet.
    - teawrecks 5y ago
      Also don't have kids. I'm in my 30s. Totally agree with the other commenter. As a kid in school, I had to learn to be responsible for things, it was my responsibility to decide what I could handle on my own and what I told my parents about, and I paid the price when I dropped the ball. Yeah, there are always a few kids who need more help learning these skills than others, and I could see the app in the hands of good parents being useful. But I don't want to live in a world full of people whose parents never trusted them. I feel like one of those old people complaining that "kids these days aren't allowed to go play on their own, climb a tree, scrape their knees, etc". But this seems really troubling on a whole new psychological level. IMO kids need autonomy to mature, which can't happen if their parent can "magically" know anything.
      - wonderwonder 5y ago
watwut 5y ago
It is not like this would be secret in the past. The ones most likely yo not tell are actually 6-7 years old who genuinely forgot and then are stressed cause teacher is complains.
yibg 5y ago
But kids have to do a lot of things they don’t want to do. Going to school in the first place is often one of them.
true_religion 5y ago
Let me preface this by clarify that when I say 'children', I mean young children 12 and younger, not teenagers in secondary school who can reasonably be expected to care for themselves... Personally, I'm not seeing why this is a huge issue. In the 1980s, parents of at least the private school that I used would get a syllabus containing all the homework and class plans for the year. If you wanted to know what was happening on week #7, you just had to look it up on paper without having a handy app to put it on your calendar. It wasn't seen as surveillance, but rather normal planning. If the teacher and school system know what's upcoming, then why shouldn't parents. It was seen as obvious that parents would help their children with homework, and that education necessarily involved parental support. Along the way if there were any disciplinary or academic issues, parents would have to sign-off on handling minor problems, and would get a personal phone call from the school for major ones. This is in addition to monthly meetings, PTA, etc. Has the world changed so much nowadays that people just drop off young children at school and can reasonably expect to be totally uninvolved? Now to contrast, in my country, secondary school (13-17) is usually boarding so kids are 100% outside of your view for 4 years and are forcibly made independent.

wonderwonder 5y ago

I can understand personal preference of a child but study after study show that children whose parents are actively involved with their education and schooling get better results.

jacobolus 5y ago
Active involvement = parent teaches child various skills and ideas, reads books aloud, suggests interesting problems to solve, works together with them on extra-curricular projects, obtains materials and resources related to the child’s personal interests, ... Micromanaging the completion of their school-assigned busywork is something different.
- wonderwonder 5y ago
  I don't know if you have kids, I am guessing not, if I am wrong, my apologies. Knowing what your kids have due for school is not micromanaging its a core part of being a good parent. I know if my kid has a math test so it lets me sit down with him and review for his test, it allows me to ensure he knows the basis for whatever comes next in his curriculum. Terribly overbearing parents are not good but I think people are for some reason assuming the worst from this app and more so the parents that use it and it seems very odd to me. I ensure my kids study for their weekly spelling tests for 10 minutes a day, and review with them before tests and that is seen as micromanaging and negative? Strange times.
  - redis_mlc 5y ago
    Yeah, that's micromanaging.
  - Symbiote 5y ago
    Active involvement would be talking to your children and asking them what they have for school. Looking up their schedule on a website is passive involvement. I'm relieved these systems didn't exist when I was a child.
    - tata71 5y ago
      (Reading about people) breaking Blackboard et al was some of the best fun in school days....
    - kfarr 5y ago
      Of course these systems existed, they just used paper or other mediums. Did you not receive calendars, directory books or yearbooks, permission slip for upcoming museum trip, etc? Save the date slip or important school numbers magnet for the fridge?
    - falcolas 5y ago
      If there's one thing I remember from my own childhood, and know from my various nieces and nephews - children can't be expected to tell the whole truth, or sometimes even remember the whole truth. One bad test, one missed homework, turns into a spiral of shame that makes children hide the truth out of a fear for their parent's and other trusted adults' disappointment (real or imagined). If my parents knew the truth - when I know the truth - we can fix it before it spirals into an unfixable situation, and not after. Not all children are perfect, nor perfectly able to remember every event and assignment they have.
  - jacobolus 5y ago
    My oldest kid is 5, but I hope when he is older I can leave him to handle his own schoolwork (offering help if he wants it). > study for their weekly spelling tests for 10 minutes a day Aside: Spending 1.5+ hours per week between home and school studying spelling per se in the way students typically study spelling is an outrageous waste of time. Arguably studying spelling per se is a waste of time in any quantity (as compared to spending that time on intrinsically motivated reading and writing, and learning how to spell as a side effect), but anyone who cares enough about this to devote hundreds of hours to it should set up some kind of spaced repetition system.
- popcube 5y ago
  if parents want to do this, they should know they kids have exam... just one semester failue on exam, kids will start escape and "forgot" homework and more test, if parent work too hard they even have no chance find it...
Loughla 5y ago
I guess this comes down to the definition of actively involved versus overbearing. There is a fine, fine, fine line to walk between the two. Knowing how your kid is doing, asking questions, and being interested in their schooling is okay. Using it to force action without learning consequence is not. It is, sometimes, okay for a kid to miss an assignment because they're not great at time management. That's how they learn consequences for their actions. Anyway, you two have a fundamental disagreement, I believe, about the level of interaction and control required to be involved.
raxxorrax 5y ago
Kids primarily benefit from parents education and their engagement in their children. But more by providing stimuli, not by surveillance. This isn't a black and white issue and as I said, it depends on their age. As I understand it we are talking about more or less preteens here.
willcipriano 5y ago
Correlation does not equal causation. Parents more involved in school are more likely to be involved at home more generally.
GhettoComputers 5y ago
That assumes an environment that your parents will be actively involved and understand how to use the non functional swedish site.
eptcyka 5y ago
I don't know anyone personally whose parents were involved with them during their school years and they achieved moderate or high grades.
cutemonster 5y ago
I was a bit happy for sometimes getting help with reviewing homework and someone to practice English words with (that is, one of my parents). And who reminded me of things I'd forgotten, be it homework or the sports bag. Some people here (not you) seem to think that one shoe fits all -- that because they didn't want the parents to be involved, that's what best for everyone. When in fact kids (and grown up people too) can be very different from each other

wonderwonder 5y ago

All kids are sent home with a folder that lists the homework they have due, tests they have taken etc. This just puts it online? Are you saying that putting it online is the issue or that parents should have no insight on what their kids are doing unless the kid decides to tell the parent?

matheusmoreira 5y ago
> parents should have no insight on what their kids are doing unless the kid decides to tell the parent As a kid this is exactly what I believed. Parents believe otherwise, of course.
- dgfitz 5y ago
  Do you have children? Honest question.
  - matheusmoreira 5y ago
    Not yet.
  - teawrecks 5y ago
    Also don't have kids. I'm in my 30s. Totally agree with the other commenter. As a kid in school, I had to learn to be responsible for things, it was my responsibility to decide what I could handle on my own and what I told my parents about, and I paid the price when I dropped the ball. Yeah, there are always a few kids who need more help learning these skills than others, and I could see the app in the hands of good parents being useful. But I don't want to live in a world full of people whose parents never trusted them. I feel like one of those old people complaining that "kids these days aren't allowed to go play on their own, climb a tree, scrape their knees, etc". But this seems really troubling on a whole new psychological level. IMO kids need autonomy to mature, which can't happen if their parent can "magically" know anything.
    - wonderwonder 5y ago

watwut 5y ago

It is not like this would be secret in the past. The ones most likely yo not tell are actually 6-7 years old who genuinely forgot and then are stressed cause teacher is complains.

yibg 5y ago

But kids have to do a lot of things they don’t want to do. Going to school in the first place is often one of them.

true_religion 5y ago

Let me preface this by clarify that when I say 'children', I mean young children 12 and younger, not teenagers in secondary school who can reasonably be expected to care for themselves... Personally, I'm not seeing why this is a huge issue. In the 1980s, parents of at least the private school that I used would get a syllabus containing all the homework and class plans for the year. If you wanted to know what was happening on week #7, you just had to look it up on paper without having a handy app to put it on your calendar. It wasn't seen as surveillance, but rather normal planning. If the teacher and school system know what's upcoming, then why shouldn't parents. It was seen as obvious that parents would help their children with homework, and that education necessarily involved parental support. Along the way if there were any disciplinary or academic issues, parents would have to sign-off on handling minor problems, and would get a personal phone call from the school for major ones. This is in addition to monthly meetings, PTA, etc. Has the world changed so much nowadays that people just drop off young children at school and can reasonably expect to be totally uninvolved? Now to contrast, in my country, secondary school (13-17) is usually boarding so kids are 100% outside of your view for 4 years and are forcibly made independent.