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Flowers Make a Nice Gift
- sealeck 5y agoNote that there are also "flower languages" which are really interesting, and I would strongly recommend paying attention to when sending flowers. See for example Victorian flower language, etc.
- intro-b 5y agoIt's fun to learn about the different origins of flower meanings, and how they differ from culture to culture. Ikebana, Japanese flower arrangement, also has an interesting history for those who enjoy learning about the different aesthetic sensibilities, and maybe even try for themselves.
- rendall 5y agoFrom what I understand, "flower language" is pretty old-fashioned, almost ancient, harking back to the days that one could not say some things out loud. In modern times, as I understand it, it's "anything goes". Even if you research the intricate, nuanced meanings of Victorian-era flower language, your recipient likely won't get the meaning. Although, personally speaking, I associate red roses with romance and passion, but even this is tenuous nowadays. You can give red roses to anyone. But I dunno. I still wouldn't give a single red rose to anyone I wasn't interested in romantically.
- snarfy 5y agoAbout a week before valentines and mother's day, go behind the flower store and do some dumpster diving. You will find hundreds of roses, arrangements, baskets, etc all thrown out. The dumpers will be nearly full. Grab big handfuls and pick through them for all the good stuff and you'll be able to make some pretty fantastic arrangements, all for free.
- leander78 5y agoI disagree. If someone gifted me flowers, I would say, stop killing plants for my pleasure.
- dylan604 5y agoIf cutting the flowers from the plant is killing the plant, then there are going to be a lot of upset vegetarian and vegans. Yes, the flowers that are cut are going to wither and die, but they would do this anyways if left attached to the plant. The mere cutting of the flower is not going to kill the plant.
- lucb1e 5y agoI actually felt the same about it as GP (if perhaps not as strongly; I still buy flowers for my mom even if I wouldn't be thrilled to receive them regularly myself), but didn't yet consider it like this. Thanks for that comment, this makes sense. They're still being grown for this purpose so it's still resources being used, but yeah it's not necessarily just ripping plants out of the ground which is how I (without thinking it through, stupidly) pictured it. I should check how it compares to other gift-type items, perhaps they're not a bad generic gift at all. (Of course a gift that someone wished for and will use for years is always better, but that's far from always possible.)
- DonHopkins 5y agoActually, vegetarian and vegans APPROVE of killing and eating plants. It's ANIMALS that they don't want to kill and eat. Or does PETA stand for People for the Ethical Treatment of Asparagus?
- dylan604 5y agoHarvesting fruits and vegetables does not mean killing the plant. The only plants that are really killed are the tuber types and other plants where the root is the food, but again, they are going to die anyways once the season changes. You're trying really hard at something, just not sure what it is
- soheil 5y agoHe may be underestimating the effort required to find a vase to put them in; make sure you place them somewhere they don't parish; if someone handed them to you now you have to go home and put them in a vase or they'll die; after a few days if you don't throw them out your entire home will be filled with unpleasant oder. The list just keeps going.
- allturtles 5y agoYeah, like when someone buys you a Lego set and you have to cut the tape sealing the box shut, and put it in the recycling bin, and open all those little plastic bags. What jerks to put you to all that trouble.
- michaelt 5y agoIf you don't have a vase, a drinking glass will do. I think most of us could manage to fill a glass with water.
- soheil 5y agoNot if it's a bouquet.
- joezydeco 5y agoPlenty of florists will deliver flowers with a vase included. They can even decorate the vase with a ribbon. It's a solved problem and a courteous touch.
- sneak 5y ago...for people without allergies or sensory processing issues related to powerful scents. I personally can't think of something OTOH I'd less want in my home. (I am a notorious weirdo, however.)
- lucb1e 5y agoDo you tell people when they give you well-intended flowers? I can imagine that's awkward so I wonder if I might inadvertently be giving people products they don't at all want. Maybe I should be asking them because it's awkward to bring it up from the recipient's side, hence my question.
- novok 5y agoIt depends on the person's personality. Some will tell you, and then you know, some will just say thank you and throw it out when you leave or put it outside, which I think is an OK compromise. Other's love flowers too. Usually the best way to find out is to ask them their opinion of them.
- giardini 5y agoSome Chinese associate flowers with death (funeral, etc.). So maybe be careful with a new Chinese girlfriend.
- xenocratus 5y agoAlso, in some cultures (Eastern Europe, I assume; Romania for sure) it's considered appropriate to gift an odd number of flowers (I never knew if it was about the actual flowers or how many stems?), as even numbers are associated with death and funerals, as you've mentioned.
- datameta 5y agoAlso avoid gifting someone white slippers, for the same reason.
- amelius 5y agoSounds more like obsessive compulsive behavior to me. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arithmomania https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arithmomania
- Andrew_nenakhov 5y agoOne flourist (russian one) told me that even number of flowers are for funerals, because the word "чётный" - even number - has the same root as "сочтены" (дни) - days are counted. Probably it's similar in other Slavic languages.
- moelf 5y ago>a new Chinese girlfriend why does this sound, off... maybe it's just me
- IncRnd 5y agoNot the GP, but once I gave flowers to a new Chinese girlfriend in college. She kindly explained how the meaning differed between cultures. Mentioning races is not racism.
- GEBBL 5y agoGuys, I have a girlfriend. If I buy her flowers, she seems to really appreciate it. Other suggestions, such as dumpster diving for flowers may not be appreciated as much. Make of that what you will.
- nodejs_rulez_1 5y agoYeah, we get it: you have a girlfriend. Congrats.
- yread 5y agounless you're married. Then it's an admission you've fucked up /s
- dylan604 5y agoIf the only time you bring flowers is when you "fucked up", you've already lost. Get in the habit of buying flowers regularly (weekly). You can rack up enough points to stay in the bonus round with your SO.
- a3n 5y agoAs a truck driver, just about every day is just about the same, so I lose track. But I am sometimes reminded that it's Mother's day (the actual Sunday), when I'm in a Walmart on a Sunday morning (maybe I parked there the night before) and see a few men that need a shave, looking over the flowers, often with a kid or two tagging along.
- mrtweetyhack 5y agoBS. might as well be money
- kaycebasques 5y agofarmgirlflowers.com does very pretty arrangements. I've bought flowers from them for my partner and my mom on a few occasions. Anybody else got leads on good shops? Re: the article I too have learned to appreciate flowers. They bring beauty. Not everything has to be useful. After spending years walking through smelly cities it really is a blessing to stop and smell a rose or jasmine or, my personal favorite, lavender.
- etothepii 5y agoI am told that giving flowers on mother's day is rather gauche since it highlights the fact you don't think of your mother the other 364(5) days a year. I found a service that let me pay once and schedule a delivery a month for a year solved this particular problem.
- abeppu 5y agoBut ... it's crazy that we created giant international supply chains to rush around flowers so they can be gifted with no awareness of season or region. Flowers are flown thousands of miles, and refrigerated in transit. At some point, flowers were something we appreciated in nature. (It is interesting that we appreciate part of another life form's reproductive cycle in a relatively non-utilitarian way). Then flowers were something you could enjoy seasonally, and with a connection to the land and seasons around you. But at some point, we decided that it made sense for jets to move flowers sometimes between continents, so you could buy roses any month of the year. And that's a little amazing and a little ridiculous. Flowers make no demands on the recipient to enjoy other than that perhaps, they shouldn't think too much about where they came from.
- dylan604 5y agoThose jets were already being used, the flowers are just using what capacity was there. It's not like FedEx/UPS/etc said we need to increase capacity for flowers. Growers took advantage of a service that was there to increase their sales while also making them available to people that would ordinarly not be able to have them. Do you like fresh fruit in the winter? Do you like bananas? All of these things are not normal for most people in northern latitudes, yet we all now get to enjoy them.
- perfunctory 5y agoOh, free capacity. How nice.
- dylan604 5y agoNobody said it was free. Just available.
- justinpowers 5y agoIt sounds like you are saying that air-shipped flowers ONLY use excess capacity on already scheduled flights. And then it sounds like you are implying the same about fruits, in particular bananas in the winter. This is probably not what you meant. But, if you did, I would absolutely love to read the data you gathered this from.
- dylan604 5y agoMy mom was a florist, and I had to spend a lot of my time helping her when I was a kid growing up. I naturally learned a lot about plants/flowers because of this. I also learned a lot of things that are just nice little tidbits to use later in life (now). For the guys, always have a vase on hand at home. It doesn't matter much the quality/price. Whenever inviting a friend over, throw some flowers in it. Even if its a bundle from the grocery store. The impression it makes is well worth it. If you really don't like having the flower, give them away at the end of your get together. 2nd good impression from the same source. As someone else pointed out, the type of flower and the color of the flowers have meanings that you might be unaware. FYI Some flowers are more fragrant than others, and some have longer "shelf" life. Roses tend to wilt quickly, and aren't the most fragant (to fill a room). Lillies (stargazers, etc) will last a lot longer, and their fragrance can fill a room. ProTip: Once the lilly blooms, pinch off the stamen which is covered in pollen. They will drop off naturally even if you don't, but when the do the pollen dust gets on everything. Keeping flowers cool prevents them from opening, so if you are buying something in advance you can clear out space in the fridge to help prolong them. If you need flowers to bloom faster because you forgot and bought last second, you can try using a hair dryer to encourage them to bloom. There's a method to this, so you can read up on it. Bright light is your friend as well. A sunny window is perfect. Avoid the cold. If the flowers came with a bag of powder as flower food, use only half of it or less. Use more when you change out the water. You should change the water out every couple of days at the longest if not daily for best results.
- forinti 5y agoI think the best gifts overall are edible: wine, chocolate, a nice mustard, etc. You eat it, enjoy it, and it's over. There's nothing to occupy space in your house. If you don't like it, just pass it on.
- DonHopkins 5y agoSmokable flowers make a great gift for people who like them. And as you say, if you don't like them, then pass them on!
- atatatat 5y agoVaporizable! (Not "vape"able)
- fragmede 5y agoSpoken as someone that doesn't have a ton on extra space in their house, and maybe moves around semi-frequently? nothing wrong with that, but let's not pretend that either extremes are universal.
- ngokevin 5y agoOP did say "I think". When it comes to liking chocolate or flowers, let's assume it's just an opinion.
- harperlee 5y agoId even go as far to say that you can add that to everything you read and it enables you to be more relaxed.
- alisonkisk 5y agoBut also less knowledgeable. A single facts in more valuable than a single opinion, all else equal, since an opinion is true for one person, but a fact is true for everyone. So it's good to know when someone is stating a fact or opinion (or an educated guess, which is in between)
- scotty79 5y agoFlowers are a strategic gift. They cost something so they communicate that a person is willing to spend money (and/or effort) on the good will of someone else. But once given, they are worthless, so there's no incentive for the recipient to fake good will in order to recive more of them just for material gain.
- IncRnd 5y agoThat's a very dry way to live. Once can instead see the beauty in both the act of giving a gift as well as in the flowers themselves. Beauty is a mark of the highest worth, definitely not worthless.
- scotty79 5y agoYou may enjoy looking at peacock and understand why he looks the way he looks at the same time.
- deleted 5y ago[deleted]
- IncRnd 5y agoWho is peacock?
- scotty79 5y agoPeacock is a beautiful bird with huge tail that is very costly to grow and the only purpose it serves is attracting a mate. You can appreciate beauty of the tail while knowing why the bird has it. Same way you can appreciate beauty of gifted flowers while knowing what purpose gifting them serves.
- DonHopkins 5y agoPlus, flowers make really great RMS repellent! https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=26541280 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=26541280 >compiler-guy 5 months ago | on: Richard Stallman is coming back to the board of th... >His inappropriate behavior toward women is well documented. One example where women traded advice on how to keep him away. https://mobile.twitter.com/starsandrobots/status/994267277460619265 https://mobile.twitter.com/starsandrobots/status/99426727746... >DonHopkins 5 months ago [–] >>Star Simpson @starsandrobots Replying to @corbett >>I remember being walked around campus by an upperclassman getting advice during my freshman year at MIT. "Look at all the plants in her office," referring to a professor. "All the women CSAIL professors keep massive amounts of foliage" s/he said. "Stallman really hates plants." >Star is correct: RMS really hates plants, and is afraid of trees.
- deleted 5y ago[deleted]
- CameronNemo 5y agoDo you have a source for this other than a freshman on a tour with an upperclassman observing a professor's office? Wouldn't the professors with the plants have mentioned the reason for their plant keeping once RMS was already canceled, fired, and resigned? This sounds like an instantiated rumor. In fact it appears to have been added and then deleted to Stallman's Wikipedia page, specifically being removed due to lack of a source.
- DonHopkins 5y agoSure, since you asked, I kept the receipts: I've known RMS since the early 80's, crashed in his house when visiting the MIT AI Lab, had him crash in my hotel room at science fiction conventions, and I'm friends with numerous people who have worked and lived with him, one of whom he let stay in the largest bedroom of his house because it had a menacing tree outside the window that he was afraid of. And I know Star Simpson personally (the freshman who quoted the MIT upperclassman who said female CSAIL professors kept plants in their offices to repel RMS), and we have discussed RMS's antics. And RMS has personally asked me to hold the branches of bushes that were leaning into a sidewalk out of the way so that he could pass by. So yes, I'm pretty sure first hand that RMS is afraid of trees and bushes and foliage, among other quirks, and it's pretty widely knows around the people who have lived and worked and hung out with him. Here's a photo I took of RMS holding a gerbil wrapped in duct tape, just before he asked, "I don't know, why do you wrap a gerbil in duct tape?" (Google it!) https://www.donhopkins.com/home/catalog/images/jsol-rms-gerbil-liz-mg.jpg https://www.donhopkins.com/home/catalog/images/jsol-rms-gerb... And here are a couple photo of my brave friend Devon, who was his housemate for many years, fearlessly climbing up to the roof of his house on the evil tree that RMS was afraid of, so you can judge for yourself how menacing it was: https://www.donhopkins.com/home/catalog/images/devon-climbing.jpg https://www.donhopkins.com/home/catalog/images/devon-climbin... https://www.donhopkins.com/home/catalog/images/devon-landing.jpg https://www.donhopkins.com/home/catalog/images/devon-landing... And here's a true story about a funny joke that RMS made about my other friend Mike and I burning down his house, the one in that photo: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=26113192 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=26113192 >I worked at UniPress on the Emacs display driver for the NeWS window system (the PostScript based window system that James Gosling also wrote), with Mike "Emacs Hacker Boss" Gallaher, who was charge of Emacs development at UniPress. One day during the 80's Mike and I were wandering around an East coast science fiction convention, and ran into RMS, who's a regular fixture at such events. >Mike said: "Hello, Richard. I heard a rumor that your house burned down. That's terrible! Is it true?" >RMS replied right back: "Yes, it did. But where you work, you probably heard about it in advance." >Everybody laughed. It was a joke! Nobody's feelings were hurt. He's a funny guy, quick on his feet! Yes, his house actually did burn down, but we didn't set it on fire, hire someone else to do it, or even know about it in advance. And here's an excerpt from a September 1986 email from my eloquent friend who he let stay in the biggest room of the house with a menacing tree outside the window: >RMS as God (or, why isn't the world made out of decayed slugs?) >What can I say? All three of us moved out of [address redacted] because there was no way in hell to get him to move. This is a man who has created an operating system people worship slavishly as a "perfect environment", but who claims he must continue to use everyone else's towel because he doesn't know where to buy one himself. This is a man who talks about immorality and considerate-ness, and claimed it was a "special favor" to take his boots off at the top of the stairs like the rest of us and not track mud through the living room where we all roamed barefoot. This is a man who let me have the best bedroom in the house because there were trees outside the window and he was afraid of them. He has mentioned to a few people that he thinks it would be neat to have a daughter by some willing female and raise her up so that he could have sex with her when she was old enough. This man says he will never be happy until there is no more purchased software, until copyright laws are totally trashed. He will accept no lesser events as conditionals, and disqualifies any other good things/feelings that happen to him as "false happiness" or simply things that don't count. >Yet I still hear people I love and respect talk about him as if he were some kind of deity, as if his Free Software Foundation were the noblest effort in the world. It is admirable, yes. But to glorify the thoroughly sick human being behind it into some sort of whole-life messianic figure is unconscionable. Meeting RMS groupies was yet another contributing factor to my punting of the computer world for the time being. So many of the "hackers" out there (hackers, not crackers/urchins/destructoids) seem to have their external values totally fukt. Sure, we're all entitled to different values. Fine. But it grieves me to see good people withering away behind a self-imposed wall of lonely techno-perfection, their frantic efforts to acquire friends and lovers made all the more poignant by the desperation in their eyes, voice, manner. Most of them know that they are lacking something important, but don't know what it is, or how to get it, or who to ask for it. Many can see themselves alienating people or spurning offers of friendship and affection, but don't know how or why they're doing so. They just look impassive and bored and in control, and damn themselves silently in their minds, self-inflicting the rejection and pain that they feared from the outside. [She goes on, but I'll stop quoting here... And you can decide for yourself if what she wrote about RMS in September 1986 is accurate and authentic, and aligns with other stories you've heard about him in the intervening 35 years.] And here's a transcript of a bunch of people telling RMS to fuck off because they didn't appreciate his pointed joke about the Evils Natalism, which I then fed to Doctor in Emacs to psychoanalyze him: https://www.donhopkins.com/home/catalog/text/rms-vs-doctor.html https://www.donhopkins.com/home/catalog/text/rms-vs-doctor.h...
- fortran77 5y agoI agree, but my cats just eat them and then throw them up.
- a3n 5y agoThat's how you know they love you.
- markus_zhang 5y agoThis may be controversial but I think money is the best gift. With money one can purchase whatever one wants. From my experience I rarely got what I want when I received a gift.
- IggleSniggle 5y agoThe best gifts operate at a sort of conversational / semantic level, where the item itself is a beautiful reminder of a person that you love. The very best gift deeply acknowledges both you and your likes/dislikes as a person, while also finding a special deep connection to the gift-giver. Much like "a picture is worth a thousand words," the perfect gift is a reminder of a thousand conversations and intimate moments. If you are not searching for the semantics of the gift you received, then you may be missing out on the most important part of the gift. ...that said, I think the best gifts are still consumable so that they do not burden the gift receiver, and/or are handmade or cleverly devised by the giver.
- Majestic121 5y agoOne of the main point of gift giving to me is the curation : trying to find something that you think the other one would like, showing that you know and understand the other person. Giving money is basically completely giving up on the curation part, which makes the gift extremely impersonal. It's marginally better than a very bad gift, but to me it would not qualify as a good gift in any case
- allannienhuis 5y agoit's the thought that counts. Money often comes across as a thoughtless (easy) gift, and often comes with strings attached, which is why it's not often used in western culture. Money is a great gift for someone who really needs it.
- robocat 5y ago> Money is a great gift for someone who really needs it. Perhaps ask the opinion of others in a similar situation first? There are a lot of overtones to money, perceived status signalling being an ugly one. I have more than one friend that really needs money, but they would definitely feel hurt if I did the simplest thing and just gave them money, so I have to be more creative to find ways to help that are joyful.
- infogulch 5y agoI didn't like getting cut flowers because they always died after just 3-4 days and it seemed like a waste. So I bought a big pack of 'cut flower food' packets, and now after changing out the water and adding a 9¢ packet every 5 days I can get a $6 bunch of flowers to last 2-3 weeks! Crystal is a common brand; I doubt the brand matters. My pack was so big I wouldn't use it up for years so I split it up and gave most of it away. I haven't tried but presumably you can mix up a batch of sugar and bleach powder yourself, be careful handling chemicals etc.
- dylan604 5y agoA simple aspirin will work as well.
- hamburglar 5y agoWas this some kind of HN ranking hack or are we really this lacking in news today? Or perhaps so socially stunted as a group that we need this sort of thing pointed out? Wait, maybe don’t answer that.
- quesera 5y agoSomeone sent flowers to a good friend of mine. Her cat chewed on a few of the flowers, and died of renal failure a few days later. Don't send flowers that might include lilys to anyone who might have a cat! Since I made it to age 30 without knowing about the toxicity of lilys to cats, I feel obligated to mention this anecdote every time someone talks about sending flowers. I also consider it completely unforgivable that florists don't mention this to every customer who is purchasing lilys (often in arrangements where the customer doesn't even know the contents).
- jhomedall 5y agoWow, I had no idea. Thanks for the heads up.
- dylan604 5y ago>I also consider it completely unforgivable that florists Computers can be used for evil, do computer sales people mention that to any potential customer? Do car sales mention that you can murder people with the item you are purchasing? One could flip it and say you are a bad pet parent for not knowing things are dangerous to your pet.
- pindab0ter 5y agoEvery pet owner should read up on what plants, flowers and foods are dangerous to their pets. I’d like to see research of how many actually do.
- dylan604 5y ago>I’d like to see research I'd recommend a simple search using the engine of your choice. It's not like this is a new topic that nobody has thought about. It is well documented. To the point, Home Depot's website has a search filter for Pet Safe Plants.
- pindab0ter 5y agoI meant that I’m wondering how many pet owners do their due diligence.
- xtiansimon 5y agoWell said. I was 24 and working at Tandem Computers in Cupertino. I would describe myself as someone who didn’t understand the giving of flowers. I had finished a big corporate marketing project (Tandem Channel Development Kit—-da-dum). The ‘client’ lead surprised my manager and myself with flowers in our cubicles. So imagine walking through the sterile office, with Holiday Inn meets xerox machine decor, to find a lovely natural bouquet. From there evermore I understood giving flowers as a gift.