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One of the most important competitive advantages in modern world is motivation to do things on your own. And all this tutoring that kids are forced to be doing

One of the most important competitive advantages in modern world is motivation to do things on your own. And all this tutoring that kids are forced to be doing by adults is killing it.

lbriner 5y ago
So true but this youngster doesn't sound like someone who needs to win, he is already made. All he (or his parents) want is to look like they are successful by saying, "Little Johnny got 15 GCSEs".
- lumost 5y ago
  As a new parent I'm really torn on this topic. On the one hand building resiliency and self-motivation need to happen through self-directed activities. On the other hand, Sitting on a couch watching Netflix probably isn't the most efficient way to build these skills.
  - MathYouF 5y ago
    I found that heavy amounts of discussion of the "why" for any activity, and then instilling confidence in that person that they're capable of doing the thing that they've already agreed to the "why" for, is a necessary prerequisite for their self directed activities to be productive ones. The problem with most kids and adults I know is they either lack a depth of reasoning for why they ought to be doing something better, or lack the confidence that they'd be able to accomplish it if they put their mind to it. If you can't come up with a convincing "why" for them, then you should reflect on how sustainable forcing them to do that thing will be once they have independence. There were a lot of things my mom expected of me (similar to these kids with tutors). Some of them I agreed with, some of them I didn't. When I finally got my independence at 18, guess which ones stuck, and which ones (where a lot of time and effort was put into cultivating them) evaporated? Talk to your children deeply about the why, and, as the saying goes, they'll suffer almost any how.
- Johnny555 5y ago
  I think it goes beyond simple academic test results -- even successful parents take pride in their children's accomplishments, so they want to be able to say "Johnny grew up to be a successful lawyer and he's going to take over the family business". So they are doing what they can to set their children up for success. Unless they are uber-wealthy, then they'll just say "Johnny is sailing our yacht around the Mediterranean (and when we say "sailing", we mean there's an 8 person crew running the boat)"
- lordnacho 5y ago
  If only it were so. What is being purchased is the right to feel that they worked hard enough to deserve what they are certain to get anyway.
pjc50 5y ago
> important competitive advantages in modern world is motivation to do things on your own .. but if you don't have that? Besides, tutoring can be a bootstrap to that, especially in young people. I've found myself that exercise is so much more likely to happen if it's not on my own, such as a regular personal trainer appointment. The more it becomes a habit, the more I feel like doing some more on my own as well.
at_a_remove 5y ago
I was a private tutor for a long time. My market segment often leaned toward the "rather wealthy," although not anything like this. However, the struggle to motivate is very real. Each child or teen (or even young adult) comes with their own package of bad coping skills, strengths and deficits, motivations (or lack thereof), and so on. Each one has a history. In any case, to my actual point -- discovering those motivations is one of the things for which I was paid. Often, children do not understand education. It has been a flat "do this" chore for them with some nebulous payout that will supposedly happen twice their lifespan away, when all around them they see images of people who did not go the conventional route to success.
- rdtwo 5y ago
  Do you have any tips for hiring someone like yourself for tutoring. Honestly I feel like I’d be doing my kid a huge disservice by not hiring a tutor but hiring a good one is probably key.
  - at_a_remove 5y ago
    That would be a hard ask. I've had kind of a knack for it, I was helping other kids since grade school. What you want is someone who works for the child, not the parent. They should have a rounded education but also be willing to admit that they do not know something and must research. They should understand a decent amount of child psychology and how people process/retain information. Finding folks like that, I dunno!
Jochim 5y ago
The most important competitive advantage is having the money to buy someone who knows how to do things for you. The second most is knowing people who have already bought someone good at the job. It's why the rich don't manage their own money, make their own food, clean their own house, or care for/teach their own children. Instead they pay other people to do it for them.
rjsw 5y ago
Not really sure that is a proven advantage. I have always been self-motivated and had teachers who just left me to get on with it and marked anything I handed in to them. You still have to send out the right signals to people who don't know you.

One of the most important competitive advantages in modern world is motivation to do things on your own. And all this tutoring that kids are forced to be doing by adults is killing it.

lbriner 5y ago

So true but this youngster doesn't sound like someone who needs to win, he is already made. All he (or his parents) want is to look like they are successful by saying, "Little Johnny got 15 GCSEs".

lumost 5y ago
As a new parent I'm really torn on this topic. On the one hand building resiliency and self-motivation need to happen through self-directed activities. On the other hand, Sitting on a couch watching Netflix probably isn't the most efficient way to build these skills.
- MathYouF 5y ago
  I found that heavy amounts of discussion of the "why" for any activity, and then instilling confidence in that person that they're capable of doing the thing that they've already agreed to the "why" for, is a necessary prerequisite for their self directed activities to be productive ones. The problem with most kids and adults I know is they either lack a depth of reasoning for why they ought to be doing something better, or lack the confidence that they'd be able to accomplish it if they put their mind to it. If you can't come up with a convincing "why" for them, then you should reflect on how sustainable forcing them to do that thing will be once they have independence. There were a lot of things my mom expected of me (similar to these kids with tutors). Some of them I agreed with, some of them I didn't. When I finally got my independence at 18, guess which ones stuck, and which ones (where a lot of time and effort was put into cultivating them) evaporated? Talk to your children deeply about the why, and, as the saying goes, they'll suffer almost any how.
Johnny555 5y ago
I think it goes beyond simple academic test results -- even successful parents take pride in their children's accomplishments, so they want to be able to say "Johnny grew up to be a successful lawyer and he's going to take over the family business". So they are doing what they can to set their children up for success. Unless they are uber-wealthy, then they'll just say "Johnny is sailing our yacht around the Mediterranean (and when we say "sailing", we mean there's an 8 person crew running the boat)"
lordnacho 5y ago
If only it were so. What is being purchased is the right to feel that they worked hard enough to deserve what they are certain to get anyway.

pjc50 5y ago

> important competitive advantages in modern world is motivation to do things on your own .. but if you don't have that? Besides, tutoring can be a bootstrap to that, especially in young people. I've found myself that exercise is so much more likely to happen if it's not on my own, such as a regular personal trainer appointment. The more it becomes a habit, the more I feel like doing some more on my own as well.

at_a_remove 5y ago

I was a private tutor for a long time. My market segment often leaned toward the "rather wealthy," although not anything like this. However, the struggle to motivate is very real. Each child or teen (or even young adult) comes with their own package of bad coping skills, strengths and deficits, motivations (or lack thereof), and so on. Each one has a history. In any case, to my actual point -- discovering those motivations is one of the things for which I was paid. Often, children do not understand education. It has been a flat "do this" chore for them with some nebulous payout that will supposedly happen twice their lifespan away, when all around them they see images of people who did not go the conventional route to success.

rdtwo 5y ago
Do you have any tips for hiring someone like yourself for tutoring. Honestly I feel like I’d be doing my kid a huge disservice by not hiring a tutor but hiring a good one is probably key.
- at_a_remove 5y ago
  That would be a hard ask. I've had kind of a knack for it, I was helping other kids since grade school. What you want is someone who works for the child, not the parent. They should have a rounded education but also be willing to admit that they do not know something and must research. They should understand a decent amount of child psychology and how people process/retain information. Finding folks like that, I dunno!

Jochim 5y ago

The most important competitive advantage is having the money to buy someone who knows how to do things for you. The second most is knowing people who have already bought someone good at the job. It's why the rich don't manage their own money, make their own food, clean their own house, or care for/teach their own children. Instead they pay other people to do it for them.

rjsw 5y ago

Not really sure that is a proven advantage. I have always been self-motivated and had teachers who just left me to get on with it and marked anything I handed in to them. You still have to send out the right signals to people who don't know you.