7 ms·

Plenty of people raise their kids this way. When I see parents laugh when their kids fall down instead of panic, I smile. And the best part? The kids smile t

Plenty of people raise their kids this way. When I see parents laugh when their kids fall down instead of panic, I smile. And the best part? The kids smile too, because they're actually looking to their parents for how to react. I'd rather raise daredevils than anxious wrecks. My best friend has a kid who's always climbing on stuff, falling down, getting hurt. That kid is going to grow up to be awesome.

VRay 6y ago
Yeah, if the kid grows up he'll be awesome for sure
- Judgmentality 6y ago
  Would you rather take a chance at greatness, or a certainty at mediocrity? No guts no glory.
  - catmanjan 6y ago
    Surely laughing when your child falls over leads to them enjoying others misfortunes
    - Judgmentality 6y ago
      I think you're assuming the laughter is at the child, not with the child. It's laughing about a mistake because that's what makes us human.
      - catmanjan 6y ago
        Do children understand that nuance? I would have thought they would associate people falling with laughing
        thekingofravens 6y ago
        They aren't dogs. They understand a lot more than you would expect.
        harperlee 6y ago
        When I pick up my children from a small fall, and I laugh belittling the hit, they do not feel mocked at, instead laughing with me. I think the kind of insecurity that makes you suspect that people are laughing at you comes later - and if you don't have crappy parents you don't even come close to suspecting that your parents might be laughing at you... Obviously you don't laugh with big falls and broken arms.
        catmanjan 6y ago
        But when your children are with their friends, and their friends fall over, do they laugh? Maybe their friends aren't as confident
        harperlee 6y ago
        They are still very young. But from my own childhood I can remember that kids are not subtle - if they are mocking you, you will know (names, finger-pointing, jokes, etc.). Whereas if a friend laughs with you about a silly fall, you get a completely different kind of scenario played out. Coming back to your initial point, and being blunt: showing your children that clumsy falls can be funny, and not to panic about them, does not increase their cruelty towards other kids.
        lumost 6y ago
        Very young children mirror the emotions of their caregivers. Generally if you laugh they will think that it's time to laugh, if you are concerned they will think it's time for them to be concerned. Very young children don't really understand what to do when they are concerned, and so they cry hoping that their caregivers will focus on them and make things better.
    - adolph 6y ago
      No it’s a cognitive framing thing. The concept is to make a toddlers tumbles into not a big deal for them. I think it is also in part an overreaction to the common “oh you poor baby” response which is thought to encourage children to be upset when they fall. I favor the Montessori guide approach of observing|ignoring and giving a kid a chance to make up their own mind to ask for help or deal with it themselves. The optimal approach probably depends on the kid.
    - avesi 6y ago
      Yeah, I think there's a middle ground between teaching a child to laugh at injuries and immediately having a protective, sensitive reaction. Personally, I tell my son, "You okay, bud?" in a positive tone and wait to see whether he needs comfort or is ready to get back to playing. Everyone parents differently. I would be interested to see which culture the "laughing" reaction parents come from.
- flak 6y ago
  Dunno, I've known lots of kids - later adults - who had fallen on their heads a few too many times. Most of them - not that "awesome"
jb1991 6y ago
Falling down is totally different than sticking your fingers into a fan.
- semi-extrinsic 6y ago
  Well, for both cases the risk depends entirely on the (here unspecified) circumstances. Sticking your fingers in a fan where the blades have a low moment of inertia and the motor has low stall torque? You'll be fine. Falling down and hitting your head on the edge of a rock? Could put you in hospital for weeks.
tw04 6y ago
Plenty of people need to rethink their parenting then. I laugh when my kid falls down. I scream when I saw my kid trying to stick a key into an electrical outlet, and I screamed when I saw my kid trying to put a finger into a vornado fan. Modern fans aren't the same as the box fans we grew up with. And adult would likely walk away with an emergency room bill and a bunch of stiches. A small child would likely lose a finger.
- brmgb 6y ago
  If it makes you sleep better, most household fans are designed to not severe fingers. They use plastic blades (please don't buy household fans with steel blades) which are both light and dull. You might break it but a major cut is highly unlikely.
  - saurik 6y ago
    Yeah... if anything I would have said the opposite: I remember when fans were made of metal or at least had sharp plastic blades. Now, everything's designed for some combination of cheap construction and liability reduction. (And, also, feels a bit more "disposable"... the fans my parents had when I was a kid were designed to be taken apart to fully clean, and I do remember taking them apart and running them without the covers as I was "one of those" kids ;P but I think I'm just expected to throw these plastic fans I have away if they get dusty?...) I just purposefully stuck my pinky finger into my fan on fully speed and it didn't even hurt. (I guess I'll admit that the Vornado on the other side of the room looks a bit more intimidating, but I'm not sure I could actually get my finger into it anyway... the one where I succeeded was actually really hard as, despite my fingers being pretty slender and long, I could barely find an angle where I could touch the blade.)
  - kwdc 6y ago
    > designed to not sever fingers Where is the fun in that? I say sharpen the blades and make it a real teaching moment.
    - tremon 6y ago

VRay 6y ago

Yeah, if the kid grows up he'll be awesome for sure

Judgmentality 6y ago
Would you rather take a chance at greatness, or a certainty at mediocrity? No guts no glory.
- catmanjan 6y ago
  Surely laughing when your child falls over leads to them enjoying others misfortunes
  - Judgmentality 6y ago
    I think you're assuming the laughter is at the child, not with the child. It's laughing about a mistake because that's what makes us human.
    - catmanjan 6y ago
      Do children understand that nuance? I would have thought they would associate people falling with laughing
      - thekingofravens 6y ago
        They aren't dogs. They understand a lot more than you would expect.
      - harperlee 6y ago
        When I pick up my children from a small fall, and I laugh belittling the hit, they do not feel mocked at, instead laughing with me. I think the kind of insecurity that makes you suspect that people are laughing at you comes later - and if you don't have crappy parents you don't even come close to suspecting that your parents might be laughing at you... Obviously you don't laugh with big falls and broken arms.
        catmanjan 6y ago
        But when your children are with their friends, and their friends fall over, do they laugh? Maybe their friends aren't as confident
        harperlee 6y ago
        They are still very young. But from my own childhood I can remember that kids are not subtle - if they are mocking you, you will know (names, finger-pointing, jokes, etc.). Whereas if a friend laughs with you about a silly fall, you get a completely different kind of scenario played out. Coming back to your initial point, and being blunt: showing your children that clumsy falls can be funny, and not to panic about them, does not increase their cruelty towards other kids.
      - lumost 6y ago
        Very young children mirror the emotions of their caregivers. Generally if you laugh they will think that it's time to laugh, if you are concerned they will think it's time for them to be concerned. Very young children don't really understand what to do when they are concerned, and so they cry hoping that their caregivers will focus on them and make things better.
  - adolph 6y ago
    No it’s a cognitive framing thing. The concept is to make a toddlers tumbles into not a big deal for them. I think it is also in part an overreaction to the common “oh you poor baby” response which is thought to encourage children to be upset when they fall. I favor the Montessori guide approach of observing|ignoring and giving a kid a chance to make up their own mind to ask for help or deal with it themselves. The optimal approach probably depends on the kid.
  - avesi 6y ago
    Yeah, I think there's a middle ground between teaching a child to laugh at injuries and immediately having a protective, sensitive reaction. Personally, I tell my son, "You okay, bud?" in a positive tone and wait to see whether he needs comfort or is ready to get back to playing. Everyone parents differently. I would be interested to see which culture the "laughing" reaction parents come from.
flak 6y ago
Dunno, I've known lots of kids - later adults - who had fallen on their heads a few too many times. Most of them - not that "awesome"

jb1991 6y ago

Falling down is totally different than sticking your fingers into a fan.

semi-extrinsic 6y ago
Well, for both cases the risk depends entirely on the (here unspecified) circumstances. Sticking your fingers in a fan where the blades have a low moment of inertia and the motor has low stall torque? You'll be fine. Falling down and hitting your head on the edge of a rock? Could put you in hospital for weeks.

tw04 6y ago

Plenty of people need to rethink their parenting then. I laugh when my kid falls down. I scream when I saw my kid trying to stick a key into an electrical outlet, and I screamed when I saw my kid trying to put a finger into a vornado fan. Modern fans aren't the same as the box fans we grew up with. And adult would likely walk away with an emergency room bill and a bunch of stiches. A small child would likely lose a finger.

brmgb 6y ago
If it makes you sleep better, most household fans are designed to not severe fingers. They use plastic blades (please don't buy household fans with steel blades) which are both light and dull. You might break it but a major cut is highly unlikely.
- saurik 6y ago
  Yeah... if anything I would have said the opposite: I remember when fans were made of metal or at least had sharp plastic blades. Now, everything's designed for some combination of cheap construction and liability reduction. (And, also, feels a bit more "disposable"... the fans my parents had when I was a kid were designed to be taken apart to fully clean, and I do remember taking them apart and running them without the covers as I was "one of those" kids ;P but I think I'm just expected to throw these plastic fans I have away if they get dusty?...) I just purposefully stuck my pinky finger into my fan on fully speed and it didn't even hurt. (I guess I'll admit that the Vornado on the other side of the room looks a bit more intimidating, but I'm not sure I could actually get my finger into it anyway... the one where I succeeded was actually really hard as, despite my fingers being pretty slender and long, I could barely find an angle where I could touch the blade.)
- kwdc 6y ago
  > designed to not sever fingers Where is the fun in that? I say sharpen the blades and make it a real teaching moment.
  - tremon 6y ago