20 ms·

Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

• artificialLimbs 6y ago
  How to generate meaning in one's life. This normally comes from taking on responsibility. Then, one continually increases the amount of responsibility one takes on.
  • zomglings 6y ago
    One thing most human beings can do as a shortcut to this: have a child.
• lemonlizzie 6y ago
  effective communication. and financial stability
• 2mol 6y ago
  Cooking
• zarkov99 6y ago
  How to fight. How to write. How to lead. How to meditate.
• 3guk 6y ago
  Learning how to cook would be fairly near the top of my list. More specifically learning how to cook a few dishes well (ideally ones that you like).
  • ghaff 6y ago
    If one is looking for silver linings in the current situation, I saw some McKinsey data the other week suggesting that doing more home cooking is one of the pandemic behaviors that is likely to last longer term.
  • bserge 6y ago
    Or you could learn to eat (and even enjoy) any food... it's much easier heh
  • Broken_Hippo 6y ago
    I wish I could upvote this twice - I came to say the same thing. Being able to cook is one of the best things I've learned. And not just cooking, but being decently able to cook a variety of things. I've been able to have wonderfully comforting meals after moving overseas, change my diet while still enjoying my food, and actually eat cheap but good tasting meals, a small joy if you are pretty broke.
  • germinalphrase 6y ago
    I found the America’s Test Kitchen books to be great as a starting point. The recipes are good, and generally made from easily accessible ingredients. There is also always a page or two of discussion about developing the recipe (what worked, what didn’t, etc) that includes some instructions on technique. I often give the Best Recipes book as a gift to younger relatives who are just learning.
• wombatmobile 6y ago
  I like your list. 2 of the things you included are the 2 things I would put at the top of my list. I am 58, and I didn't always know how to make a list like this in a way that makes sense to me now. Would you mind if I ask how old you are, and what you imagine will be important to you when you are looking back on your life, as an old, old, old person?
  • lelele 6y ago
    Your comment is unattached, therefore the OP can't know that you asked a question.
• jka 6y ago
  If you're in an environment where cycling's viable, I'd rank that alongside or even above driving (it can be cheaper, healthier, more sustainable, consumes less parking space at home and in the community, produces less pollution, and generally provides easier self-maintenance options)
  • ghaff 6y ago
    I think it's hard as an adult. I never learned as a child (grew up on a very narrow and winding country road) and I did kinda/sorta teach myself as an adult but I never gained the confidence to ride on roads with traffic. >even above driving And I have trouble agreeing for most people. Many need cars on a day-to-day basis and even if owning a car doesn't make sense for some people even in the US, being able to rent one and go someplace on the weekend or for a trip opens up a lot of possibilities for many. I wouldn't even have been able to do my first job if I couldn't drive.
    • jka 6y ago
      Traffic's certainly a large barrier to entry; I learned to cycle as an adult too, and it took a long time to become comfortable cycling on anything other than quiet local roads. And you're right that many people can't currently practically use a bicycle in preference to a car. Some of that's no doubt due to the logistics involved in more remote communities, some of it could be related to urban infrastructure historically designed with large vehicles in mind, and some of it's likely due to limitations of bicycle travel itself (like the challenges of carrying large loads and dealing with weather conditions). Not to mention that it takes time for people's habits to change. I'm biased because I would probably say cycling's the most useful non-software-related skill I've learned - so take with a grain of salt - but to me cycling's a vast opportunity: an empowering, open, low-cost technology with the potential to improve lives both individually and collectively. In that context traffic and other limiting factors become issues to understand and find (genuine, win-win) solutions for, rather than impassable obstacles.
      • ghaff 6y ago
        Circumstances certainly matter. I live in a small exurban town and, as a practical matter, I'd never use a bicycle for anything other than pure recreation. I also just don't have great balance in general so the relatively rare occasions when I do ride a bike on a forest road/carriage path, it's always a bit more of an adventure than is probably ideal.
• tchock23 6y ago
  How to actually listen to other people.
  • tumblerz 6y ago
    Yep. Probably in part due to a negative and emotional upbringing, I have needed all of my adult life to learn that listening is a foundation skill. The few great leaders I have known were each great listeners in their own ways, and capable of making decisions based on what they hear without, it seems to me, concern for "ego." To me, this seems like a superpower.
• loughnane 6y ago
  How to manage yourself when tragedy inevitably strikes How to take advantage of people... that way they are less likely to be taken advantage of Restraint enough that, though they know how, they don’t take advantage of others How to look for sense of self satisfaction within yourself rather than in the approval of others Not really a skill, but a habit of intense exercise at least 30m a day. Running and swimming are great for this. Similarly, a habit of reading books. Personal finance
  • war1025 6y ago
    > How to manage yourself when tragedy inevitably strikes This is a place where, in my opinion, religion is seriously overlooked in modern culture. The times when my religious upbringing have been most useful to me have all been in the face tragedy.
    • _mkef 6y ago
      Another benefit of Religion is community. I recall back when we went to Church we had tons of people who took the time to reach out when things weren't going well. That's easily the difference between being an isolated island of a person, miserable thinking the world is against you. Or being a bit down, and getting a hand up.
      • omosubi 6y ago
        Completely agree. It's frustrating to see so many people dismiss the value of a religion when it has the potential to offer so many benefits. Of course there's plenty of dogma but what we've replaced religion with does not seem to be significantly better.
    • loughnane 6y ago
      Def a utility of religion. You can find it as well in various schools of philosophy
    • AA-BA-94-2A-56 6y ago
      I used to be religious, but I came to a point where I just didn't believe it anymore. Religion is no longer useful to me, not because it was ever real, but because I've convinced myself it's not real. I've replaced it with philosophy and meditation-- it actually seems to do the job much better, and doesn't require any particular leaps in logic on my part.
• deleted 6y ago
  [deleted]
• kangaroodingo 6y ago
  learn to swim
  • derwiki 6y ago
    See you down in Arizona Bay
  • ghaff 6y ago
    Where I went undergrad, they require you to pass a swim test (or take a PE swimming class) to graduate. (Before someone says something, yes, I'm sure there are exceptions for those with disabilities.)
• ncw96 6y ago
  Here are some more ideas from a thread a few months ago: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23757396 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23757396
  • DavidSJ 6y ago
    And another (posted by yours truly): https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23758188 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23758188
• AdrianB1 6y ago
  A few things that are helping around the house: - water and electric installations. Most things that usually break in a typical house can be easily fixed by the average person with some tools, water is easier, electricity is extremely risky if you don't know what you are doing, but fine if you do (you don't need a college to be an electrician). I would also mention some carpentry, but that requires more tools than what people keep around the house. - build, maintain and repair a bicycle; it is extremely easy if you spend a bit of time doing it and it is extremely useful if you do mountain biking and you have a problem in the middle of nowhere; also it is a lot cheaper and quite fun to fix or upgrade your own bike or spend some good time with friends working on their bikes - fixing small things on a car or motorcycle, like changing oil, brake pads, bleed the brakes. It does well with the bicycle skills, some are transferable. - if you like hiking, knowing how to pack light, to find a good place to mount a tent, first aid and a bit of survival skills are useful If you like hiking, depending on your country and area you spend time it would be a good idea to learn how to properly carry and use a firearm for self-defense against wild life. Where I go there are plenty of bears and boars, they are both stronger and faster than me, I had a few encounters but it was either from a distance or I was not on foot, so I left in a hurry :) Less applicable in West Europe (no bears, some boars) and in Eastern Europe (no guns allowed), but still something to think about - cooking. It's a hit or miss, but you can try. Anyone knows how to make tea or some eggs, it's trivial to do French fries or a steak (not a good one, but something you can eat), so for me cooking means to do something more complicated than basic food. Learn not only to drive a car, but a bicycle, a motorcycle, a manual transmission car and even a small truck. You never know when one of these can be useful and they are partially related, so it's not that much to learn.
• LeonB 6y ago
  Listening skills.
• falcor84 6y ago
  Here's Lazarus Long's list, from Heinlein's "Time Enough for Love", which I had actually just posted on another thread recently: "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." I'd possibly leave out the militaristic stuff, but the rest of it is pretty much spot on :)
  • Riverheart 6y ago
    Counterpoint from Mr S. Holmes :) Only learn skills that are truly applicable to your life. "You see," he explained, "I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort that he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to him gets crowded out, or at best is jumbled up with a lot of other things, so that he has difficulty laying his hands upon it. Now the skillful workman is very careful indeed as to what he takes into his brain-attic. He will have nothing but the tools which may help him in doing his work, but of these he has a large assortment, and all in the most perfect order. It is a mistake to think that that little room has elastic walls and can distend to any extent. Depend upon it there comes a time when for every addition of knowledge you forget something that you knew before. It is of the highest importance, therefore, not to have useless facts elbowing out the useful ones." "But the Solar System!" [Dr. Watson] protested. "What of the deuce is it to me?" he interrupted impatiently: "you say that we go round the sun. If we went round the moon it would not make a pennyworth of difference to me or to my work."
    • ghaff 6y ago
      I actually sort of agree with that. It doesn't have to be stuff you need to do but you do need to pick and choose. For example, while I'm not ignorant of how a car works, I did make at least an implicit decision a very long time ago that working on cars wasn't going to be one of the ways I spent my time. And while I do certain things around the house, I get someone in for major jobs and for electricity/plumbing generally.
• iMario 6y ago
  Cooking (proper food not junk), growing your own food, personal finances, how to manage emotions, carpentry, welding, how to enjoy time by your own, languages (the more the better), how to do basic fixing of appliances (see RepairCaffe), learn the joy of not to stop learning, sleeping habits, health habits, be conscious what you want at work to be happy (depressed Manager or happy technician)... To be continued... nice thread!
  • antb123 6y ago
    Habits for Eating, Sleeping, Exercise, Finances (as we live in a capitalist system), Learning, Self Awareness.
  • yalogin 6y ago
    How do you manage emotions? Do you have any tips?
    • dx87 6y ago
      Practice mindfulness. You don't have to actually meditate, but just try and take some time each day to conciously think about something that made you feel emotional, and why you reacted the way you did; I normally do it while taking a shower. Eventually it'll become a habit where something happens that would normally trigger an emotional response, and you'll be able to react in a way that helps with the situation instead of just having an emotional outburst. You don't have to stop feeling emotional, but you shouldn't act purely on emotion.
  • dehrmann 6y ago
    > growing your own food Some people like doing this one and really get into it, but for the most part, no one grows food with enough macronutriets to sustain themselves. Potatoes are the main exception.
• endori97 6y ago
  Losing weight/maintaining proper weight (without being miserable, eg not juice dieting), meeting people (since your high school/college friends will move away), good posture/technique (don't get carpal tunnel), the importance of stretching.
  • derwiki 6y ago
    Posture! Learn good posture now and have fewer back problems later.
• T3OU-736 6y ago
  Granted, from SciFi, but I have found this to be fairly inspirational: > A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyse a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Competent_man https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Competent_man)
  • PeterRRodwell 6y ago
    Change a diaper? Done! Plan an invasion? No. Butcher a hog? No way, I like pigs. Conn a ship? Would like to try. Is learning to fly helicopters an acceptable substitute? (By far the most difficult thing I've ever done - building a pipe organ was kid's play in comparison.) Design a building? How about a tree house? Write a sonnet? No. Balance accounts? Terrible - ask my bank manager. Build a wall? No. Set a bone? No. Comfort the dying? No. Take/Give orders? Yes. Cooperate? With whom/what? Act alone? Yep. Solve equations? Never could do that. Analyse a new problem? Constantly. Pitch manure? Yes, I really have done this. Not recommended. Program a computer? My job. Cook a tasty meal? My chicken curry is world famous! Fight efficiently? Not sure what that means. Die gallantly? Not yet.
• mrwnmonm 6y ago
  CBT
  • derwiki 6y ago
    I know it’s a short search away, but Cognitive Behavior Therapy
  • worker767424 6y ago
    I used to have a therapist who's pretty queer. She had a shaved head, tattoos, knew about kinky local things and some about lesbian stuff. She mentioned this and I had to tell her it's also something else. She was surprised she hadn't heard of the other meaning before.
• rocketpastsix 6y ago
  How to handle your finances. I can't believe this basic lesson wasn't taught to me at all during my formative years, either by my parents or in school.
  • regularfry 6y ago
    Not only how to handle them, but the theory behind finance, and how it works. What inflation is, what net present value is, what an "asset" is, how interest rates and compounding work.
  • jawns 6y ago
    I admit I could be mistaken, but often when I hear people complain that they wish they had been taught to handle their finances or learned about budgeting, it reduces down to "I wish I had been taught not to spend outside my means." Which reduces down further to "I wish I had been taught self-control." To me, the fundamentals have always seemed relatively straightforward: don't spend more than you have, and only take credit or a loan if you have a plan for paying it back on time. I was raised by parents with limited education, one of whom was an immigrant, and so I was largely on my own when figuring out the minutia of opening a bank account, getting a credit card, saving up for emergencies, etc. But the general lesson of "don't spend more than you have" was imparted. It seems like a pretty obvious thing, but I guess if your parents or guardians are setting bad examples in that regard, it might not be as obvious as it appears to me.
    • ghaff 6y ago
      I sort of agree with that. I have some quibbles with what's taught in high school (e.g. surely basic statistics/probability would be more useful for most people than some of the math that is taught). But MBA capital budgeting and accounting classes aren't really needed. Maybe a penny saved is a penny earned could be updated to a penny saved is a penny earned plus compound interest. But the common problem is, as you say, people spending more money than they have because they want to--as aided by installment plans and the like. (And a lot of people just having genuinely little money.)
    • imtringued 6y ago
• soniman 6y ago
  I volunteered for Habitat for Humanity and learned how to tile a floor. I imagine if you do it consistently you can learn a lot of things.
  • ghaff 6y ago
    >if you do it consistently That's a problem with a lot of home-related tasks. You often do them slowly and poorly the first time around and then you don't have an occasion to do them again for another decade or two.
  • bserge 6y ago
    But did you do it properly? :D Floor tiles are the worst, a real pain in the arse. I don't want to do that again, ever.
    • soniman 6y ago
      My supervisor said he's never seen such a straight line but yeah, it is back breaking work.
• austincheney 6y ago
  * identifying when people are lying to you * identifying weakness: embarrassment, offense, narcissism, intimidation, hostility (I am deliberately excluding fear from this list) * writing * personal finances/accounting * product design: accessibility, usability, performance, engagement, organization (I am deliberately excluding vanity from this list) * emergency car repair * house maintenance * horticulture * accuracy with a rifle * philosophy * history * homeopathy (plant chemistry kind, not the pseudo science kind) * leadership * listening * benevolence * maintaining a healthy marriage * honesty * automation
• Dumblydorr 6y ago
  How to learn: if you learn well, you can acquire new skills more quickly and easily. Some keys: be calm and stay in the beginner's mindset. If you're frustrated and reactionary, you will learn much less effectively. Be like a happy child, curious about new things, and be interested in self improvement always.
  • serkanh 6y ago
    Yeah this something i have been trying to improve. Taken Barbara Oakley's "Learning to learn" course and read the book(it is essentially the transcript of the book). It def help me better understand theory behind learning. On top of it i have been using Anki - spaced repetition tool - to solidify what i learned. Having a knowledge repo or a collection of notes that are written with your own words helps immensely as well.
• Retric 6y ago
  Probably the most important skill people are skipping is etiquette. Which I think says a lot about HN. Communication (texting, listening, etc), maintaining and creating relationships, avoiding injury, relaxation, exercise, cooking, healthy eating, self defense, first aid, swimming, types of reading (fun, searching, learning), searching, separating truth from fiction, knowing when to seek help, a hobby, cleaning, maintenance, organization, managing money, taxes, investing, personal grooming, shopping, transportation (public transit, biking, driving etc.), reading a map, looking for work, putting something together from instructions. PS: Maintaining physical and mental heath is not really a specific skill, but much of the above falls under that category.
  • bserge 6y ago
    Social etiquette drives me up the wall sometimes. I get it, it's necessary, and I do follow it, but there are some that just make zero sense. In fact, most of them make no sense. It's just social constructs made by people, and some go to war over it. Ridiculous. I don't want to shake hands, I don't want to smile, I don't want to sit down if you do. It's like, why does it matter to you? I literally couldn't give half a fork about it, so if I can learn to forget the more detailed bullshit, so can you. Focus on what matters, not whether I'm slouching or not.
    • Retric 6y ago
      Etiquette is really a language. If you mean red and say blue people can only go by what you said. Specific words have specific meanings because of convention not some innate property of the universe. Similarly, body language has a specific meaning based on convention, so people will assume you mean what your saying. PS: The posture convention is based on norms of physical fitness and body weight which make standing up strait close to the default. Assuming being overweight becomes the long term norm things may change.
      • bserge 6y ago
        Eh, isn't that why language was invented? Late Stephen Hawking would've had a hard time with body language and even intonation. Fortunately, we have words that convey exactly what we want.
• slx26 6y ago
  Honestly, I believe don't specific individual skills matter that much, so whatever aligns with your happiness and curiosity. I think it's more important to focus on the skills that make everyone else's lives better, so: understanding how we all feel and react differently and making your work and communication as accessible to others as possible.
• x87678r 6y ago
  Finding and choosing a spouse. Possibly the thing that affects you the most and rarely taught.
  • swader999 6y ago
    First create a life for yourself that is content enough on its own.
  • jakobov 6y ago
    how?
• PostPlummer 6y ago
  Get to know yourself & be humble.
• tyingq 6y ago
  Basic car maintenance skills. Changing a tire, adding oil, checking levels for power steering and coolant, knowing when tires need replacing, etc.
• openfuture 6y ago
  Learn how to make habits and replace habits. Learn how to take smaller steps. Learn how to balance. Learn how to focus.
• PandaRider 6y ago
  Language. I've learnt several physical stuffs (e.g. bodybuilding, music), several emotional stuffs (e.g. meditating, music) and other intellectual skills (e.g. game theory, the humanities and programming of course...) and if I had to choose one to recommend to the HN community, it's language. Unfortunately, it's high reward [0] also comes with high effort. Even with the best resources, it will take time and patience. But you can start at anytime of your life and at anywhere. [0]: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMmOLN5zBLY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMmOLN5zBLY
  • SPBS 6y ago
    I agree with language, but I wasn't thinking about any neurological benefits. Just speaking a few languages can unlock so many opportunities in life.
• jacknews 6y ago
  Develop critical thinking. For example, examining a news article. Why is it news? Who is reporting it? What is the intent of their reporting? Etc. Develop inquisitiveness. Related to critical thinking. Always be asking 'why?'. Develop grace, encompassing manners, humility, self-control, compassion, etc. Learn how to interact with government and institutions. For example, how do you even hire a lawyer? When should you? Personal finance, as others mention, but I see a great many false prophets in that area. IMHO there doesn't seem to be any proven method. One rule I follow is 'never borrow to consume', though that may depend on how enlightened the society you live in is. Everyone needs to eat after all. For practical skills, Cooking. It may become obsolete in future, but being able to cook a basic meal is useful and satisfying. Gardening, basic farming. Again, eating a lettuce you grew yourself is quite satisfying. If you didn't get a standard western upbringing, then all the basics; learn to swim, ride a bike, tie a shoelace and a necktie, basic knots, basic music/play an instrument, host a party, basic painting/drawing, sportsmanship, read, write, at least, algebra, etc.
• known 6y ago
  Protecting/Insulating yourself from Machiavellianism (willingness to manipulate and deceive others), Narcissism (egotism and self-obsession), Psychopathy (lack of remorse and empathy), Sadism (pleasure in suffering of others)
• ilikepi 6y ago
  I haven't seen knots mentioned yet. Learning a few basic knots from different categories may only be occasionally useful, but on those occasions it can be quite valuable and rewarding. Practicing knot tying requires minimal resources, and it can be a great activity to wind down at the end of the day.
  • aidos 6y ago
    Oh yeah, great one. I love knots. When I don’t have a technical puzzle to mull over while drifting off to sleep I like to visualise knots - it’s surprisingly tricky to follow along without a line in your hand. Everyone should learn the bowline because it gives you a lot of bang for buck. One I discovered on the brilliant website below that I’ve really come to love is the tumble hitch (quick release hitch on a bight). https://www.animatedknots.com/bowline-knot https://www.animatedknots.com/bowline-knot https://www.animatedknots.com/tumble-hitch-knot https://www.animatedknots.com/tumble-hitch-knot
    • pockettanyas 6y ago
      Thanks for the links, that's a cool site!
• tumblerz 6y ago
  Learn any moderately complex system very well. From past personal experience: get an old vehicle and make like new; learn linux on machine not best-suited to it; and, with out getting overly specific, gain skills by getting involved with people outside your milieu--volunteer, or get a side job that teaches you a useful skill via mentors with perspectives you do not normally encounter. In my experience, learning a complicated system translates well to another. Finally, and perhaps this will sound a bit life-coachy--sorry: learn to suffer, dynamically. Learn that your limits are often imagined, and that you can "put away" unpleasant feelings in order to perform adaptively within, or even enjoy, struggle. This a skill of mine that not many people have. It's probably not crucial, as people without it seem to function fine, but it does afford me unique opportunities.
  • Dowwie 6y ago
    Endurance is absolutely a great life skill. We can do so much more than we think we can when we learn how to manage our thoughts. It is what enables people to become navy seals, cardiologists, pioneers in one's field, or all of the above if you are Jonny Kim. Jonny spoke at great length on Jocko Willink's podcast if you are interested in his story of personal triumph: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yujP3-AxXsI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yujP3-AxXsI
• Dowwie 6y ago
  Among my top recommended life skills that I think may help people is the ability to manage one's feelings. You can train yourself to respond to fears and anxieties in productive ways, navigating through challenging life situations without being reduced to a minimal version of who you are. Don't take the following as an authoritative source on the subject. Use it to get started on your own path of development. 1. Meditation. It's in fashion for a very good reason. People continue to recommend it as the single most valuable practice one can adopt to improve oneself. As you grow more mindful of your feelings, you can better manage them. Meditation is a practice. You can think of it as going to the gym for half an hour and training on one single muscle. The more you train, the stronger that muscle gets! 2. Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT). This is a broad subject. A therapist is very helpful, if you can afford one, but own your self improvement and try not to depend on financially unsustainable counseling. Therapy is very helpful and sometimes essential. Use it to acquire life skills. The aspect of CBT that I would like to draw attention to involves the ability to manage fears and anxieties, and consequently depression, using the process of identifying cognitive distortions and reframing concerns. A great intro book to the subject is "Feeling Good" by David Burns, who recently published a sequel, "Feeling Great" after almost forty years of development since the book was published. Burns has a blog, podcast, and teamed up with product folks to create an upcoming mobile app. 3. Rest and recovery. Initially, I was just going to mention sleep, which is a very tough subject, especially when dealing with insomnia. Not resting enough taxes the system. Plan down time and protect it. Address insomnia holistically. Be well, my friends.
  • PaulDavisThe1st 6y ago
    I think you should have mentioned the single most important aspect of CBT: what you do can (and almost certainly will) affect how you feel. Since changing what you do tends to be easier than (just) changing how you feel, CBT encourages people to change their behaviors as a pathway to feeling better.
• oldsklgdfth 6y ago
  Learn how to take care of yourself first. That includes: * learning to cook and prepare your own food. * learn proper sleeping habits and make a routine that feels comfortable. * learn to exercise - pick an activity and do it consistently with some goals in mind. * learn to budget money and manage expenses. * learn to groom yourself and maintain a regular cleanliness routine * learn to entertain yourself alone - without the internet (ex. reading a book, telling a story, etc) * learn how devices you own work and how to troubleshoot/repair them (ex. fridge, ac, oven, car) The general theme I have is that "the things you own, end up owning you", if you are not accountable for them. Start with the things you can't get rid of like your body and then question everything else you introduce into your life to eliminate clutter. Examples: - if you don't know how to prepare food your diet depends on what restaurants offer and you have little control over ingredients, portion size, calorie intake... - if you pass out in front of the tv and wake up on the couch it is unlikely that you will feel motivated in the morning. Likely you will pick up McDonald's breakfast on the way to work cause you are running late. - if you give up on exercising your body you will quickly feel powerless when you have to move something heavy.
• sova 6y ago
  spiritual hygiene, mental hygiene, physical hygiene
• SandroG 6y ago
  How to identify and solve hard problems, which if left unresolved block progress.
• momokoko 6y ago
  In the modern era the single most important skill is to manage distractions. There are so many things, this site included, that can prevent you from accomplishing your goals via distraction. Obviously a little distraction and fun is good. But these days it easier than ever to waste an entire day or two watching Netflix and staring at your phone.
  • barney54 6y ago
    I want to emphasize this one. When I'm on deadline, I am amazing at avoiding distractions and as a result, I'm super productive. When the deadline is far out, I yield to distractions. Avoiding distractions is a key way for me to be production.
  • gala8y 6y ago
    > But these days it easier than ever to waste an entire day or two watching Netflix and staring at your phone. It is also worth looking at all these distractions (which turn to addictions sometimes - addictions playing the same role) as means to avoiding emotions which arise when we look at real problems and start to solve them. Somehow our emotions pull us back into this lake of low level, auto-pilot functioning where status quo is maintained and nothing new happens. Emotions trick us here.
    • aaxxaab 6y ago
      For anyone interested, Indistractable by Nir Eyal is a good read on this topic. The premise is that distraction is a mechanism that the mind uses to deal with discomfort. He talks about solving the the root cause (emotions) rather than just trying to solve a proximate cause (technology).
  • m0zg 6y ago
    > entire day or two watching Netflix and staring at your phone More like years, nowadays. Some people (most?) never recover at all, because it's cheaper and more addictive than smoking. Apple's detailed time tracking was a revelation. We discovered that my wife (who is currently out of a job due to COVID) was speding 8+ hours every day on her iPhone and iPad alone, and I myself was spending entirely too much time on my mobile devices as well. I managed to cut down to about 1.5 hours a day. She's still struggling with it. And it's hard. I have to leave my phone upstairs so I don't relapse.
• sys_64738 6y ago
  Have a viable exit plan from working life. You don't always get to choose when you can no longer work.
  • TeMPOraL 6y ago
    Eerily timely advice for me. I've developed a persistent pain in my right wrist over this weekend. I guess RSI is finally getting me :/.
    • bbarnett 6y ago
      100 things can cause this, everything from mild food poisoning, to a specific food, gout, 100 things. Could be you just had a bad meal.
    • dorkwood 6y ago
      I thought the same thing about a month ago, but then it went away.
    • dehrmann 6y ago
      Have you tried a vertical mouse?
    • swader999 6y ago
      Mouse ball helps too. Theragun and learning all the trigger points to release for carpal tunnel has kept me out of the surgeon's office so far.
  • adamredwoods 6y ago
    This is where it's good to have a life partner. My mother didn't when she died, but was lucky enough to have her siblings and son nearby. She did leave this world completely broke, as dementia care is extremely expensive in the US. Without family or wealth, once one cannot work here in the US, I think most people go where it's cheapest and eventually become homeless, then die.
• sheinsheish 6y ago
  Meditation (!)
• mistermann 6y ago
  Knowledge in philosophy, particularly strict epistemology and logic (binary vs trinary), with the intent to constantly apply this knowledge through life. Enough knowledge in psychology and neuroscience such that you can have a decent understanding of how the human mind works (and ways in which it fails imperceptibly). Time spent in psychedelic and spiritual realms seem to be quite practically useful for this type of learning. Systems thinking - gain an understanding of the presence and importance of unseen systems, and the unseen complexity and causal relationships contained within. For example, we live in a system (that itself is composed of numerous subsystems), and each of us is a system (our mind, itself composed of two distinct parts, the conscious and subconscious, each consisting of numerous subsystems). Such things are very easy to forget in real time, but even if remembered, our perception of the state and behavior of these systems is extremely inconsistent (sometimes even backwards) with how they actually are. Realize that outside of the hard sciences, we are rarely dealing with facts, but rather coarse approximations, and that this is often completely not realized (to put it mildly). It seems this can be decently learned from an abstract perspective, but the degree to which this abstract knowledge can be drawn upon in real time seems extremely inconsistent. (Meta) In general, people's minds (and broad Western culture) often seem to find these sorts of ideas instinctually repulsive, so exercise disciplined skepticism with those who dissuade you from study.
• dclusin 6y ago
  Honest self appraisal, giving a proper apology, empathize with people you don't like, giving and receiving praise for work well done, setting boundaries
• gogopuppygogo 6y ago
  Failure. It’s part of every aspect of life but we as a society don’t teach people how to handle it well.
• kpmcc 6y ago
  Cooking cooking cooking. You’ll eat probably until the day you die. Might as well figure out how to feed yourself in a way that sustains you and brings some joy to you and possibly to others.
  • bob1029 6y ago
    This is by far the most important thing I can think of, followed shortly by being able to maintain a regular, high-quality exercise regimen. Meal prep is the key to keeping the discipline in terms of cooking cheap, high-quality meals for yourself. If you understand some fundamentals about how to store food and scaling recipes up, you can leverage your time very well. In a given week, I spend ~2 hours in the kitchen total. Of this, about 1 hour is spent per week doing meal prep. The other hour is time spent re-heating or preparing the final meal for consumption across each day. The most powerful way to engage this is using simple, predicable, efficient tools & processes. I use very few tools in my kitchen. Iron skillet, 2.5qt iron pot for frying, and an instant pot for pressure cooking. That's about it. I prepare stuff in ~1 week batches, usually on weekends. I spend ~$150/m on groceries, and maybe $100/year on food that I don't make for myself. Every meal I eat is arguably of very high quality compared to available alternative vendors. Watching others order door dash every single day as their sole source of sustenance has me somewhat disappointed in society. The amount of money most people spend on food is incredible to me, especially considering the quality in most cases.
    • dprophecyguy 6y ago
      Do you have this process documented anywhere ? Would like to learn it.
      • bob1029 6y ago
        I don't have it written down, but I have been applying things like lean manufacturing principles to the kitchen. I.e. looking at and optimizing various subtasks and figuring out why they take so long or why the cleanup is such a PITA afterwards. I would say that my process is probably incompatible with the preferences and physical kitchen layout of others, so you need to find something that works for you specifically. If you are having trouble figuring it out, start asking the following: > What do I like to eat? > Am I willing to cook it for myself on a weekly basis? > (presumption) Why not? > Here is where you start getting recursive with why-why-why.
• PowerBar 6y ago
  Critical thinking and evaluating evidence.
• alvinncx 6y ago
  The art of learning and educating oneself. Our world is changing faster than ever and the only way to catch up and remain relevant is to master the art of learning. Learning through failures, learning through experience, learning through active discussion or learning through teaching—doesn’t really matter the mode, but find one that works for you and master this art. I find myself learning best through application, so I constantly find small opportunities in daily life and at work to try new techniques. I’m believe that formal education (the kind you get an education loan for) is no longer sufficient to get ahead in life. Learning to self educate is key.
• taphangum 6y ago
  Diagramming. I'm serious. The more I (as a developer trying to master design) delve into the product design space. The more I see that there is no more fundamental skill in design than that of constructing 'information architectures'. Essentially, mapping (or diagramming) the most important pieces of a design that you are making. It is literally the key to creating a great design. I wrote more about this in a guest post here: https://simpleprogrammer.com/information-architecture-developers-learning-design/ https://simpleprogrammer.com/information-architecture-develo.... Think about the design of Apple products, is it really just the way they look that makes you love them. Or is it more subtly, the way the work (of which UI is a component), and how that makes you feel? Definitely worth thinking about.
  • AnonC 6y ago
    Do you have any other recommendations for this? I checked out the link you shared, but was greeted by a screen-filling popup to sign up for something. I navigated back.
    • taphangum 6y ago
      I would highly recommend reading the article for a fuller picture behind this idea. But if you want a shorter primer, you can check out this one that gives a short summary of this concept: https://planflow.dev/blog/ux-planning-starts-with-information-architecture https://planflow.dev/blog/ux-planning-starts-with-informatio....
• lwhalen 6y ago
  Take a cue from Uncle Bob (Heinlein) and start working on his list: A human being should be able to: - change a diaper - plan an invasion - butcher a hog - conn a ship - design a building - write a sonnet - balance accounts - build a wall - set a bone - comfort the dying - take orders - give orders - cooperate - act alone - solve equations - analyze a new problem - pitch manure - program a computer - cook a tasty meal - fight efficiently - die gallantly Specialization is for insects.
  • swader999 6y ago
    Build a bike wheel. Thanks Sheldon Brown.
• dlandis 6y ago
  Enough carpentry and building skills to be able to build decks, porches, sheds, renovate rooms in your house, etc. If you're a homeowner and can improve your home with little help from contractors, you will be able to affordably increase the value of your house immensely, as well as the quality of your home life and that of your family. The return on investment can be crazy -- imagine being able to take a couple weeks off work for a project and increasing the value of your house by ~10% during that time.
  • woopwoop 6y ago
    So, more generally, you could say that you can save money by doing a task yourself that you usually leave to a professional specialist. In most cases, this is clearly ridiculous. I'm not going to start sewing my own clothes, or doing maintenance on my car beyond maybe changing my own oil. What makes home repairs different?
    • war1025 6y ago
      > In most cases, this is clearly ridiculous. I disagree. I would guess most of us have thought before, "I sure get paid a lot for what amounts to not that difficult of work." Most professions are like that. > I'm not going to start sewing my own clothes My wife enjoys sewing and makes or alters the majority of her clothing. It's more work than buying, but the fit is better and she has fun doing it. > doing maintenance on my car beyond maybe changing my own oil. Lots of people are into car repair. Having delved into it a little in the past few years, you can get surprisingly far with a decent set of wrenches, some jack stands, and a torque wrench. > What makes home repairs different? They really aren't. If you own the house you live in, then why wouldn't a naturally curious person like most of the people here try their hand at some of the work? It's a very easy thing to tip toe your way into and gradually build your skills. Get a hammer, a saw, a tape measure, and a drill and suddenly the world is your oyster around the house. If you want to hire a professional for every little thing, then great. That keeps them in business. But most of the work is hardly beyond the abilities of the average person. Especially given that you can start with the easy things and build from there.
    • nicbou 6y ago
• AnonC 6y ago
  Understanding yourself in different dimensions would be at the top of my list. It takes a lifetime to do it well though. Learn to cook and prepare food, especially your favorite foods. Then you can make better decisions when buying packaged food, when eating out and also not be dependent on someone or some establishment for something as basic as food (of course, you can take this further and get into gardening and such, but just start with cooking from ingredients you can buy). Listen to people without interrupting and trying to solve their problems. Listening is a gift to others and to yourself. Learn to write better, since we (the readers and writers here) depend on written communication a lot more than people from the last century and before. Learn to manage expenses, followed by learning to manage investments (start by understanding the power of compounding). IMO, playing an instrument and learning a sport are hobbies, not necessarily life skills.
• deleted 6y ago
  [deleted]
• dfischer 6y ago
  Anything that doesn’t require depending on another. If you use anything that requires another person to complete it or entity then that thing is at risk.
• nazgulnarsil 6y ago
  Judging experts because you won't be doing most things on the basis of your own original reasoning. Prioritization otherwise you get attention hijacked too much to accomplish your goals. Emotional stability or you get jerked around by current events. Communication or you don't get any buy in on your positive visions.
• timwaagh 6y ago
  What I have trouble with but for a time i managed it. I think is one of, if not the most essential life skill is learning to initiate a lot of conversations with total strangers. I do want to emphasize the 'a lot' part, because this is not about being good at conversation (some people are, some aren't), but doing this a lot. Using this, you can make friends, but you can also get professional opportunities or dates or you can find your way about a foreign place. It takes a lot to get over the inner awkwardness but if you manage to do it consistently the rewards are just as consistent.
• bigmattystyles 6y ago
  Don't double down out of pride or get flustered when you are wrong if you know you are wrong. To boot, nothing will make people remember you were wrong more than you making a fuss about whatever you are wrong about.
  • adrianmonk 6y ago
    It took me a really long time to learn this. You have to be secure enough in yourself that your mind can even contemplate the idea of taking the initiative to say something negative about yourself in front of others. On top of that, you need to have the courage to actually do it. And it's so easy to let it slide. You'd hardly be the first. But it really is better to do it. Contrary to what insecurity tells you, reasonable (and non-adversarial) people will respect you more.
• Bekwnn 6y ago
  Learning about nutrition and fitness, even if you don't do either rigorously. Patience and also how to firmly and kindly say, "no." Art is a pretty nice hobby that works your ability to observe and visualize. Sort of like meditation when you're in the "flow" of it. Playing an instrument is similar. Having a hobby that is active, not passive, and relaxes you is great.
• biren34 6y ago
  1. How to spend less than you earn. Lots of people desire “financial freedom”, meaning they can spend what they want when they want it. Solving this via revenue leads to the hedonic treadmill, and you’ll never out earn your growing wants. Instead solve this by controlling your wants, and you’ve achieved financial freedom immediately. 2. How to take risks. Finding the balance between recklessness and absolute risk avoidance is about managing downside, so you get a chance at the upside with acceptable consequences if things go wrong. Get this right, and the world is your oyster, even if this is your only skill in life. Get this wrong, and it will swamp every over accomplishment, skill, and strength you may have. 3. Know what you want, and why you want it. The worst thing in life is time wasted winning at unfulfilling endeavors. The “winning” sucks you I’m and keeps your trapped in a local maxima, where all roads look like moving backward. (Usually, this means understanding and controlling your need for status vs your other needs—-and that requires a lot of introspection.)
  • schwartzworld 6y ago
    1. Spoken like someone who has been lucky. Before I was a dev, I worked less profitable jobs. I was no where near the poverty line, but life is expensive and you can only reduce expenses to a point. Sure, you can probably ease the burden by spending less, but at a certain point spending less means living an ascetic life, free from any frivolous pleasures. The term financial freedom doesn't just mean "making more than you spend". Above a certain income level you get the freedom to splurge. Being able to sit at a restaurant with a friend and not always choose the cheapest option is financial freedom. You can't get that by belt-tightening. 2. Risk isn't the same for everyone. it is fundamentally easier for certain people to take risks. If you make $200k per year, you can probably afford to gamble a little. But what if you only have a couple of hundred dollars to spend after rent and bills every month? Sure there are occasionally successful people who come from nothing, but starting a business or pivoting careers is much easier when you already have money.
    • biren34 6y ago
      1. I have been lucky, but I’m also a 2nd generation immigrant. I remember how many things my parents had to deny themselves (and me) growing up. Of course this mileage only takes you so far, but on many incomes, there’s real power here. The fact that it’s painful to deny yourself these things is the point. Most bad financial things happen to people who won’t tolerate that pain, so they get locked in marginal situations with little room to take risks or have anything go wrong. Eventually, something always goes wrong. This is the only way to protect yourself. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. 2. This is the exact point. Each of us have to judge the consequences of failure for each decision. If you only have a couple hundred dollars left after expenses, risk aversion is the right call—-and falls well within the real of managing your risk.
• sombremesa 6y ago
  Everybody ought to learn whatever they need to learn given their individual circumstance. Therefore, probably the best skill is learning to discern what to learn (critical thinking, perhaps), followed closely by learning how to learn (largely a self awareness thing).
• asou 6y ago
  Take nothing personally. The good or the bad. Build a community. You NEED friends that you get to hang out with every now and then . This online stuff doesn't count. One of the more rewarding experiences I had last year was attending Meetups with people significantly older than myself. The older you get , the harder making friends becomes. It's so bad I'd suggest to comp sci majors to consider a Liberal Arts degree instead if they're having trouble socializing.
• activatedgeek 6y ago
  Never write someone or something off without solid evidence.
• rswerve 6y ago
  How to establish and maintain relationships with other people. And all that goes with that. How to listen, how to express yourself, how to be empathetic, being able to accept and offer help. In your personal and professional life, your relationships are likely to be the most important determinant of your happiness and your success.
• additup 6y ago
  Taking complicated things and simplifying them for others. Makes a big difference in work and life.
• pritovido 6y ago
  I should mention meta skills, skills that are more general: 1. Learning to learn. When you learn to play an instrument or a language you should learn to learn better. So learning something new becomes easier. That is learning about space repetition software and how your memory works. Physical and mental fatigue,moderate stress, diet, relaxation times and sleep. One of the best abilities that you could master is the ability to learn from the masters in any discipline, what is called in psychology "modeling", and it is natural for kids. That usually takes letting some part of yourself to die, accepting that you are wrong at something, and it for adults is incredible painful and rewarding at the same time. 2. Managing your emotions in front of your opposite sex, in front of threats, in front of a big audience. In front of important work to do. Getting gradually out of your comfort zone. Taking and handling bigger and bigger risks while knowing your limitations. Again that means accepting (a small)suffering as a routine. Being conscious about what you are feeling at every moment and knowing what to do helps you master procrastination in you and in others. That makes you incredible attractive and resourceful person. To speak in front of lots of people you need to have something important to say to them. You need to find something more important than yourself. In general those skills are counterintuitive, like doing routine exercise means suffering a little every day but over months or years it improves you so much most people just wont be able to compete with you at psychical or metal tasks.
• gdubs 6y ago
  A lot of my ideas are already listed, so I’ll add Drawing. A lot of things can be made so much clearer through a drawing, and learning to draw effectively is easier than you might imagine. That doesn’t mean anyone can easily become a master — but practicing fundamentals can get you from 0-1 pretty quickly, in terms of being able to express ideas.
• playcache 6y ago
  Learn to love problems and look forward to things going wrong.
• surfsvammel 6y ago
  Learn to apologise. Learn to get over yourself if you have had a fight or an argument, and be the first one to apologise.
• unnouinceput 6y ago
  Lie!!! How to properly lie is the most important skill you need to learn in life. Nobody ever said 100% of their life truth only, everybody lied. How you lie is the most important skill. Most of them are so called "white lies" which sometime are actually required by social norms. But when you do a "white lie" without proper body language and proper voice inflections you are hurting a lot. Imagine saying "my condolences" to a fresh widow while laughing or with a bored voice. It's an insult. So yeah, how to lie is number one skill.
• webreac 6y ago
  Sing (alone and in a band), dance, cook. A bit of litterature, mathematics, physics, geography, history, psychology.
• justinzollars 6y ago
  I suggest cooking. Its really fun, it will improve the quality of your life and allow you to eat healthier within a budget.
• tmsh 6y ago
  Learn to control your primordial[1] mind. The next time you have elemental cravings for food, drink, sex, and other more-short-term dopamine hints (people pleasing, superficial personal relationships, appeasing, etc.), not in line with your goals, stick to your goals. This is a big part of military courses.[2] You're capable of a lot more than you think (at a physical level, what you think of as your max is likely 30-40% of your capacity.. be cognizant though that 70-100% borderlines on death, but it's unlikely a person not training for a long-time would have to worry about hitting those limits).[3] The same thing applies up each level of Maslow's hierarchy. Many consumer businesses are built on you not doing so and conflating convenience and activities slowly detrimental to healthy life goals. The best thing you can do is practice slowly not doing those things. Every time you stick to your pre-frontal cortex and don't give in to your primordial mind, you become stronger at more difficult things. And it compounds. Each basis point (eating healthy v. eating unhealthy; learning how to cook something well, etc.; putting down that TikTok feed; persisting with that design or SaaS side project, etc.) compounds. Charlie Mike. [1] https://www.amazon.com/General-Theory-Love-Thomas-Lewis-ebook/dp/B000SEGHFK https://www.amazon.com/General-Theory-Love-Thomas-Lewis-eboo... [2] https://bootcampmilitaryfitnessinstitute.com/media/tv-documentaries/elite-special-forces-documentaries/ https://bootcampmilitaryfitnessinstitute.com/media/tv-docume... [3] https://www.forbes.com/sites/chrismyers/2017/10/06/the-40-rule-the-simple-secret-to-success/#7f9353425cdd https://www.forbes.com/sites/chrismyers/2017/10/06/the-40-ru...
• rdudekul 6y ago
  The number one life skill, based on my own experience is, Self Inquiry (Who Am I?) based Meditation. Know that you are not your body or your mind, but the Awareness or knowing that observes all your thoughts, sensations, feelings and perceptions. Search Youtube for Rupert Spira and watch some of his meditations.
• gooseus 6y ago
  Off the top of my head: Critical thinking, note taking, accounting, mindfulness, efficient reading, persuasive writing, chess and/or go, poker, heavy lifting, endurance running, self-defense, and love making.
• ratherbefuddled 6y ago
  Self analysis. Think carefully about your motivations, decisions, feelings - be honest with yourself. Don't just let things happen to you and react, understand why you feel like you do and either accept it or change it.
• dmerrick 6y ago
  I always think of this poem by Ralph Waldo Emerson: To laugh often and much; to win the respect of the intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that one life has breathed easier because you lived here. This is to have succeeded.
  • yanowitz 6y ago
    Lovely quote, attribution likely apocryphal (and I don't think it was a poem). https://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/06/ https://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/06/ is a nice writeup (assuming you trust its citations).
  • dcchambers 6y ago
    That's a beautiful poem, thanks for sharing.
  • etattva 6y ago
    love it. Thanks for sharing
• salex89 6y ago
  For me, excluding the obvious ones like driving is dressing up nicely. Although I value ones looks less as I grow older, since appearance is transient (someone can be having a bad day), I appreciate the skill needed to combine an outfit, which I lack and can't fathom. By nicely I don't mean like for a wedding or expensively, just plain nicely with your day-to-day apparel. Combine garment styles and colors and subtle details. I have a feeling I would have it easier on some occasions if I just payed attention to how I look instead of just making sure my weewee isn't in the open and the cloths covering me are clean. When I do try, I turn out looking goofy so I stick to my plain, bland, inoffensive elements.
• yummybear 6y ago
  To fix minor stuff around the house, to cook, to relax (via a hobby, reading or other)
• chinathrow 6y ago
  Learn to love and live boredom. Boring periods (whithout any computer or smartphone or other external stimulation) have a positive effect on your brain. It helps sparking your creativity too.
• geoffmunn 6y ago
  Being able to forgive yourself. You're not perfect and mistakes will be made. Becoming a father showed me that I've sometimes said and done stupid things in front of a very impressionable small person, but all I can do is to promise myself that I won't do that again, find a way of avoiding that situation in the future, and move on. Berating yourself over ancient history is incredibly toxic for mental health.
• ripvanwinkle 6y ago
  How to build and maintain relationships How to take care of your physical and mental state - That might mean meditation or mindfulness or whatever else it takes to deal with adversity and difficult situations - Understand what your specific body needs in the way of activity and diet to keep the engine running as best it can With those two under your belt you can generally build and acquire any other skills you need for your specific situation to the extent that it is possible
• User23 6y ago
  Kipling's If: If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies, Or being hated, don’t give way to hating, And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise: If you can dream—and not make dreams your master; If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools: If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breathe a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’ If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch, If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run, Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it, And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
  • mod 6y ago
    Timeless. Thank you.
  • rramadass 6y ago
    This is the only "life advice" that i have framed and put up in my room. Very idealistic and hard to live up to (we are biological Animals after all) but nevertheless something we should all strive towards.
• tylerjwilk00 6y ago
  I enjoy building up my primitive skills and trade skills. If the house of cards we call our current society falls down at least you'll have some valuable skills to rebuild from.
• maverickJ 6y ago
  1. The power of asking the right questions. For example, if you find yourself doing learning a bunch of difficult things at the same time, the following questions can help you/ a.How many subjects am I currently learning intensely? b.Do these subjects have any relation to each other? c.Why am I currently learning the subjects? d.Have I truly made progress in any of the subjects? To find out more about questions, this article https://leveragethoughts.substack.com/p/do-not-engage-the-mind-in-the-intense https://leveragethoughts.substack.com/p/do-not-engage-the-mi... is fantastic. 2. The power of writing. Writing puts thoughts to paper. When you write, the structure of your thoughts becomes more visible. It can tell you if you think properly or not. By writing, your thoughts process becomes more refined. Writing is a feedback loop to your thoughts. 3. How to build relationships. We humans are social creatures. We are quite inter dependent. To navigate through life, we will need to co-operation of others. The book https://amzn.to/3mYvmqo https://amzn.to/3mYvmqo how to win friends and influence others is incredibly good. 4. How to show our work. You can create the best invention in computer science but if it does the right audience do not know about it, the invention languishes in obscurity. This article https://leveragethoughts.substack.com/p/cracking-the-who-you-show-your-work https://leveragethoughts.substack.com/p/cracking-the-who-you... is one of the best at explaining it. 5. Financial literacy. This is incredibly important. A lot of us go through life without understanding how the financial system works. This leads to us making sub optimal financial choices. I find the book The Richest Man in Babylon https://amzn.to/3mVczMI https://amzn.to/3mVczMI great at introducing a financial mindset. Financial literacy is also important;Especially for technical people. The life of Nikola Tesla is an example of this https://leveragethoughts.substack.com/p/dont-hinge-your-career-on-technical https://leveragethoughts.substack.com/p/dont-hinge-your-care...
• Arete314159 6y ago
  How to make delicious, nutritious meals on a budget. Bonus points if the prep work is something you can handle while working full-time. I'll save you the suspense: the secret is buying a crockpot, putting food onto cook in the morning before work, and then voila! Dinner is ready when you get home. Best of all you can use cheap cuts of meat and/or beans.
• neillyons 6y ago
  Not really a skill but fell running is pretty great. Especially if you can join a club. It is good to have a thing to do that exercises the body instead of the mind.
• deleted 6y ago
  [deleted]
• michaelbarton 6y ago
  I think spending the time to learn how to be your own best friend, perhaps this might be especially valuable or undervalued among the HN audience. Speaking from my experience I feel that I'm relatively driven but that often goes together with being my own very harsh critic. One way to descriibe this is that I wouldn't spend any time with someone whom spoke to me the way I sometimes speak to myself when things go wrong. The times when, instead of beating myself up, I'm able to say to myself it's ok not to be where I thought I would be by now it my life, I've been more peaceful. So my answer to OP's question is: learn to be compassionate with yourself.
• scruple 6y ago
  The ones that I find myself working on the most as I move into my 40s: Physical strength and patience. They're tightly coupled but the patience is something that I could use more of in every facet of my life. Along the same line of thought, I find myself practicing listening / being present in conversation frequently.
• gotaran 6y ago
  If you're single, dating. Especially online dating. Depending on you upbringing, this is similar to personal finance, where nobody really teaches you what to do, and there's a lot of "seduction" or "red pill" toxic nonsense out there. Dating is also a relatively recent modern construct, and it's a skill that doesn't come naturally. There's a certain etiquette to it that might vary from place to place and in time you're in. But generally, it's about keeping it simple to start out with, getting more adventurous as dates progress, and being assertive, organized, and clear in your communication, while trying to forge a genuine connection with someone. It can also equip you to handle other emotional rollercoasters you might encounter.
  • mailshanx 6y ago
    Can you recommend any resources to learn this better?
    • gotaran 6y ago
      I like Hinge's blog: http://hingeirl.com/ http://hingeirl.com/. It has some solid tips. Besides that, I haven't found anything else too useful and mostly learned by putting myself out there and making a ton of mistakes. That's not to say there might be some other useful material out there. I'd be weary of taking advice from reddit or similar communities. Most people who frequent those forums and give advice tend to be plagued with relationship problems themselves. Of course, dating in a Covid-19 world might be tricky, and it's not something I feel is worth the effort, though YMMV. (fwiw, I used to think the same about online dating, and I was completely wrong.)
  • john4532452 6y ago
    I am skeptical of dismissing the "red pill" entirely. Feynman tested being jerk to get laid and it had worked for him. However he did not continue being jerk because he found it hard to be against his nature or he had moral dilemma about it. I forgot exactly why he stopped using the method
    • gotaran 6y ago
• ssss11 6y ago
  Learning how to communicate well - how to get your point across, how to debate without shutting down, and listening. Especially verbally/face to face.
• westurner 6y ago
  - "Consumer science (a.k.a. home economics) as a college major" https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=17894550 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=17894550 In no particular order: - Food science; Nutrition - Family planning: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_planning https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_planning - Personal finance (see the link above for resources) - How to learn - How to teach [reading and writing, STEM, respect, compassion] - Compassion for others' suffering - How to considerately escape from unhealthy situations - Coping strategies: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coping https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coping - Defense mechanisms: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defence_mechanism https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defence_mechanism - Prioritization; productivity - Goal setting; n-year planning; strategic alignment Life skills: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life_skills https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life_skills Khan Academy > Life Skills: https://www.khanacademy.org/college-careers-more https://www.khanacademy.org/college-careers-more
• thewileyone 6y ago
  Learn how to pick fresh fruit and vegetables and learn how to cook a proper meal.
• quickthrower2 6y ago
  Remembering names
• smarri 6y ago
  I've thoroughly enjoyed reading through the comments and conversations in this post, thanks all.
• jakobov 6y ago
  nonviolent communication. It really improved my ability to communicate and understand people. https://www.amazon.com/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Life-Changing-Relationships/dp/189200528X https://www.amazon.com/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Lif...
• aronpye 6y ago
  Self defence and how to safely handle a firearm, since any other life skills are useless if you’re dead.
• brentis 6y ago
  Ability to lie in the grass of a park with your dog by your side for no reason at all other than to enjoy the fall weather and rustling of the leaves. Ability to grind and realize you can do anything. Ability to let go of things that hold you back. Ability to love. Ability to inspire. Ability to find peace within.
• goatcode 6y ago
  Working on your own automobile, and welding.
• retrofeel 6y ago
  The hard talent that pays off – learning to love yourself 1) mindfulness 2) mentalization 3) becoming multilingual 4) critical thinking 5) developing excellent learning skills
• cblconfederate 6y ago
  to optimize for the most important thing in life, time.
• MrXOR 6y ago
  Critical thinking