8 ms·

Work is no longer a fun place to be. No jokes, no personal stories, no candid sharing of perspectives. Definitely no going for drinks with coworkers. One wrong

Work is no longer a fun place to be. No jokes, no personal stories, no candid sharing of perspectives. Definitely no going for drinks with coworkers. One wrong word and you’re cancelled. The less time you have to spend in a coastal corporation with a modern HR department, the better.

lwhalen 6y ago
All of my agreements.
cma 6y ago
Are you talking about Kaepernick?
mcpherrinm 6y ago
This is a pretty absurd take in my opinion. I've worked in "coastal corporations with a modern HR department" without issue. Of course I share jokes, personal stories, and perspectives. Well, with covid-induced lockdown now I go for drinks virtually instead of in-person. If you can't be kind or professional enough to have an enjoyable working relationship to have drinks with your coworkers, I don't think it's the corporation or HR department that's to blame.
- asciident 6y ago
  You don't have to be unprofessional to get in trouble. It might just be a misinterpretation of your joke by the quiet intern, or you react unexpectedly to some politically-charged story because your mind was elsewhere, or you forget about a sensitive demographic of people when proposing an idea. Not everyone can keep a professional demeanor all the time, and always say the right things on the spot, especially if you just spent 6 hours debugging a race condition or something. I think you're overgeneralizing perhaps your strong ability to do so.
  - adamsea 6y ago
    > It might just be a misinterpretation of your joke by the quiet intern > or you forget about a sensitive demographic of people when proposing an idea. Both of those can be true, I imagine. I think the general idea is, though, in America, people who weren't white guys always have had to deal with those same concerns. My privilege as white dude has included, until relatively recently, _not_ having to worry about those things because my "norm" was the norm society enforced over the norms of people different than myself.
    - adamsea 6y ago
      Curious what motivated folks to downvote this.
- grogenaut 6y ago
  I had an amazing few happy hours virtually last few months. Some great technical discussions with some young engineers, and they had more opportunity to ask questions, get context on the broader company, etc than they would normally.
shredprez 6y ago
Yeah, this just isn't true. Plenty of fun to be had, plenty of candid perspective sharing, plenty of drinking with coworkers. If your coastal corp doesn't have these things, get out of there. And if you find yourself getting "cancelled" everywhere you go? Probably a personal problem.
- gruez 6y ago
  >And if you find yourself getting "cancelled" everywhere you go? Probably a personal problem. I'm not sure where you got the impression that the parent was constantly being canceled. The actual problem is that nobody wants to be canceled even once, so they're forced to be perpetually on their tippy toes. The recent cancellations[1] for (arguably) non-hateful behavior creates a chilling effect. [1] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23635384 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23635384
  - shredprez 6y ago
    I'm not sure where you got the impression I got that impression. Simply pointing out the obvious: if you follow my advice to leave unhealthy work environments and find yourself facing repeated trouble, it's worth considering whether your own behavior is a factor. >The actual problem is that nobody wants to be canceled even once, so they're always perpetually on their tippy toes. This is how professional environments have always been and I don't agree that it's a problem. When a bunch of people with different beliefs get together its important for everyone to invest effort in keeping the peace so the focus can remain on work. Thankfully there's still plenty of room for sharing personal beliefs with coworkers (even differing opinions) as long as you've put in the work to build a trusting relationship.
  - pavel_lishin 6y ago
    > The recent cancellations[1] for (arguably) non-hateful behavior creates a chilling effect. I guess it might depend on what sorts of things you're used to saying. I haven't felt chilled at work, and haven't felt any need to adjust my behavior or the things I say in any way. > One wrong word and you’re cancelled. I think many of those words have always been wrong, and it's only now that people are correctly catching flack for it, because people are willing to go to HR with their complaints.
humanlion87 6y ago
I can relate to this so much. I am so afraid that something I say could be misinterpreted that I prefer to talk only formally. English is not my native language. And my communication skills aren't the best, which makes me even more hesitant. So I end up speaking more with co-workers from the same country I am from because it becomes easier. This ends up forming bubbles :(. I wish I was able to speak freely and make friends with people from other countries also. But the risk seems much more than the reward.
- fendy3002 6y ago
  Talking about afraid of misinterpreted communication, it's more challenging in textual communication.
  - humanlion87 6y ago
    That's completely true. Makes it even more challenging, even with the use of emojis.
the_gipsy 6y ago
You mean jokes about race, gender, or sexuality. Your "perspective" is prejudice. Spell it out, don't be such a coward.
- icebergwarrior 6y ago
  This is an unnecessarily combative post and assumes words spoken by the original poster that do not exist. The OP correctly, in my opinion, identifies a hypersensitivity trend in modern companies.
  - britr 6y ago
    Framing it as "hypersensitivity" really misses the point - if companies want the more diverse part of their workforce to feel respected at their workplace, its not out of "sensitivity". It's basic decency and a given that a professional environment should be provided to employees.
  - the_gipsy 6y ago
    Do you think we should try to correct hypersensitivity, or go back to privilege and discrimination?
- devmunchies 6y ago
  silicon valley, where everything is about "race, gender, or sexuality" except the jokes.
6177c40f 6y ago
This runs counter to all of my recent working experiences. What sort of things have you experienced that have led you to this point of view?
mancerayder 6y ago
That can be true if you're careless. But there are always people to connect to and trust. If not I'd switch companies (and have).

lwhalen 6y ago

All of my agreements.

cma 6y ago

Are you talking about Kaepernick?

mcpherrinm 6y ago

This is a pretty absurd take in my opinion. I've worked in "coastal corporations with a modern HR department" without issue. Of course I share jokes, personal stories, and perspectives. Well, with covid-induced lockdown now I go for drinks virtually instead of in-person. If you can't be kind or professional enough to have an enjoyable working relationship to have drinks with your coworkers, I don't think it's the corporation or HR department that's to blame.

asciident 6y ago
You don't have to be unprofessional to get in trouble. It might just be a misinterpretation of your joke by the quiet intern, or you react unexpectedly to some politically-charged story because your mind was elsewhere, or you forget about a sensitive demographic of people when proposing an idea. Not everyone can keep a professional demeanor all the time, and always say the right things on the spot, especially if you just spent 6 hours debugging a race condition or something. I think you're overgeneralizing perhaps your strong ability to do so.
- adamsea 6y ago
  > It might just be a misinterpretation of your joke by the quiet intern > or you forget about a sensitive demographic of people when proposing an idea. Both of those can be true, I imagine. I think the general idea is, though, in America, people who weren't white guys always have had to deal with those same concerns. My privilege as white dude has included, until relatively recently, _not_ having to worry about those things because my "norm" was the norm society enforced over the norms of people different than myself.
  - adamsea 6y ago
    Curious what motivated folks to downvote this.
grogenaut 6y ago
I had an amazing few happy hours virtually last few months. Some great technical discussions with some young engineers, and they had more opportunity to ask questions, get context on the broader company, etc than they would normally.

shredprez 6y ago

Yeah, this just isn't true. Plenty of fun to be had, plenty of candid perspective sharing, plenty of drinking with coworkers. If your coastal corp doesn't have these things, get out of there. And if you find yourself getting "cancelled" everywhere you go? Probably a personal problem.

gruez 6y ago
>And if you find yourself getting "cancelled" everywhere you go? Probably a personal problem. I'm not sure where you got the impression that the parent was constantly being canceled. The actual problem is that nobody wants to be canceled even once, so they're forced to be perpetually on their tippy toes. The recent cancellations[1] for (arguably) non-hateful behavior creates a chilling effect. [1] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23635384 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23635384
- shredprez 6y ago
  I'm not sure where you got the impression I got that impression. Simply pointing out the obvious: if you follow my advice to leave unhealthy work environments and find yourself facing repeated trouble, it's worth considering whether your own behavior is a factor. >The actual problem is that nobody wants to be canceled even once, so they're always perpetually on their tippy toes. This is how professional environments have always been and I don't agree that it's a problem. When a bunch of people with different beliefs get together its important for everyone to invest effort in keeping the peace so the focus can remain on work. Thankfully there's still plenty of room for sharing personal beliefs with coworkers (even differing opinions) as long as you've put in the work to build a trusting relationship.
- pavel_lishin 6y ago
  > The recent cancellations[1] for (arguably) non-hateful behavior creates a chilling effect. I guess it might depend on what sorts of things you're used to saying. I haven't felt chilled at work, and haven't felt any need to adjust my behavior or the things I say in any way. > One wrong word and you’re cancelled. I think many of those words have always been wrong, and it's only now that people are correctly catching flack for it, because people are willing to go to HR with their complaints.

humanlion87 6y ago

I can relate to this so much. I am so afraid that something I say could be misinterpreted that I prefer to talk only formally. English is not my native language. And my communication skills aren't the best, which makes me even more hesitant. So I end up speaking more with co-workers from the same country I am from because it becomes easier. This ends up forming bubbles :(. I wish I was able to speak freely and make friends with people from other countries also. But the risk seems much more than the reward.

fendy3002 6y ago
Talking about afraid of misinterpreted communication, it's more challenging in textual communication.
- humanlion87 6y ago
  That's completely true. Makes it even more challenging, even with the use of emojis.

the_gipsy 6y ago

You mean jokes about race, gender, or sexuality. Your "perspective" is prejudice. Spell it out, don't be such a coward.

icebergwarrior 6y ago
This is an unnecessarily combative post and assumes words spoken by the original poster that do not exist. The OP correctly, in my opinion, identifies a hypersensitivity trend in modern companies.
- britr 6y ago
  Framing it as "hypersensitivity" really misses the point - if companies want the more diverse part of their workforce to feel respected at their workplace, its not out of "sensitivity". It's basic decency and a given that a professional environment should be provided to employees.
- the_gipsy 6y ago
  Do you think we should try to correct hypersensitivity, or go back to privilege and discrimination?
devmunchies 6y ago
silicon valley, where everything is about "race, gender, or sexuality" except the jokes.

6177c40f 6y ago

This runs counter to all of my recent working experiences. What sort of things have you experienced that have led you to this point of view?

mancerayder 6y ago

That can be true if you're careless. But there are always people to connect to and trust. If not I'd switch companies (and have).