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Bash IRC Quote Database
- meritt 6y agohunter2 is one of the best: http://bash.org/?244321 http://bash.org/?244321
- sickmartian 6y agoyeah, and 'I put on my robe and wizard hat' is right there as well. http://bash.org/?104383 http://bash.org/?104383
- phoe-krk 6y ago<DmncAtrny> I will write on a huge cement block "BY ACCEPTING THIS BRICK THROUGH YOUR WINDOW, YOU ACCEPT IT AS IS AND AGREE TO MY DISCLAIMER OF ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, AS WELL AS DISCLAIMERS OF ALL LIABILITY, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL OR INCIDENTAL, THAT MAY ARISE FROM THE INSTALLATION OF THIS BRICK INTO YOUR BUILDING." <DmncAtrny> And then hurl it through the window of a Sony officer <DmncAtrny> and run like hell
- Havoc 6y ago10/10 social commentary on the legal system
- AdmiralAsshat 6y agoIt was later referenced in a TF2 item description: https://wiki.teamfortress.com/wiki/Conjurer%27s_Cowl https://wiki.teamfortress.com/wiki/Conjurer%27s_Cowl
- cerberusss 6y agoRobe and wizard hat is epic.
- skilled 6y agoNever fails to make me laugh my belly out.
- janee 6y agoHaha I still say that sometimes before I need to go do some random thing. Usually goes unnoticed, but every now and then I get a chuckle
- smhenderson 6y agoMakes me feel better to know I'm not the only one. I mean, I suspected, but it's nice to get a confirmation!
- AceJohnny2 6y agoThe first season of IT Crowd on DVD has subtitles in "l33t". What this actually meant was each episode had a different subtitle gimmick. One of them had the "HEY EURAKARTE" quote http://www.bash.org/?23396 http://www.bash.org/?23396 (and get off my lawn kids, : I remember when that quote's votes were in the hundreds :p)
- phoe-krk 6y agoThis has already been around when I was a kid. Which was like fifteen years ago. Oh, timelessness.
- Diederich 6y agoDid somebody say 'timeless' in the context of tech humor? https://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/know.your.sysadmin.en.html https://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/know.your.sysadmin.en.html
- yjftsjthsd-h 6y agoThat's utterly beautiful. I really lost it at: alias vi 'rm \!*;unalias vi;grep -v BoZo ~/.cshrc > ~/.z; mv -f ~/.z ~/.cshrc' ...which is of course utterly evil:)
- Diederich 6y agoYup; it's packed full of such gems.
- Phrodo_00 6y agoI might borrow some of these aliases too. alias rm 'rm -rf \!*' alias hose kill -9 '`ps -augxww | grep \!* | awk \'{print $2}\'`' alias kill 'kill -9 \!* ; kill -9 \!* ; kill -9 \!*' alias renice 'echo Renice\? You must mean kill -9.; kill -9 \!*'
- RobRivera 6y agoThat's mean
- CobrastanJorji 6y agoLessee, this: 1. Creates an alias named "vi", so that next time the user runs the text editor vi, it will run this script instead. 2. Deletes whatever files the user was planning to edit in vi. 3. Removes this "vi" alias, reverting the behavior to just running vi in the future. 4. Removes every line from the .cshrc which contains the string "BoZo". If you put this in someone's .cshrc file, the next file they attempted to edit with vi would be deleted along with the evidence that anything malicious had been done to you.
- adnanh 6y agoPosted this for sentimental reasons, it hits all the right spots when reading these quotes.
- foobarian 6y agoAnother oldie but goodie that still seems to be around is the Internet Oracle: https://internetoracle.org/ https://internetoracle.org/ .
- neotek 6y agoWhen I think back over my childhood, there's nothing I miss more than the way being on the "old" internet felt. The Geocities sites, the webrings, ICQ, Trillian, mIRC scripting, stileproject, the birth and death of E/N sites, image macros, and a million other things that no longer exist and don't have any meaning to the vast majority of internet users today. It was a special club, almost nobody I knew in the real world had any idea that this stuff existed and wouldn't have cared if they did. And then DALnet was attacked. Days of downtime extended into weeks and eventually months, and by the time it ended DALnet was a shadow of its former self. So many tens of thousands of people just moved on and it was never the same again. I tried moving to efnet as so many did but it didn't have the same vibe. I didn't realise at the time just how much I'd actually lost and how much things were going to change. Man I'd give anything to go back. Edit: Speaking of netstalgia, here are a few random files from the archives that some might recognise: https://n1ckn4m3.com/?page_id=976 https://n1ckn4m3.com/?page_id=976 https://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/romjul https://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/romjul https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ljsPqIfPD0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ljsPqIfPD0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3sexvJM5Go https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3sexvJM5Go
- adnanh 6y agoOh yeah, I feel you! I was also on DALnet, and saw the exodus to other networks, EFnet, IRCnet, Undernet, QuakeNet... But as you said, they just didn't feel "right". I.e. some of them had "weird-looking" services as opposed to the DALnet's ChanServ, NickServ etc... :-) Do you remember "PHP-Nuke" craze, everyone was creating community portals where members were able to post news, polls, etc... Good old times :)
- hprotagonist 6y agoah, yes, trove of witty banter that i read obsessively in 1999 or so. To this day, if you ask me "hey do you know what sucks?" my reflexive answer is gonna be "vacuums!"
- andrew_ 6y agoAlways fun to see this pop up now and then. My old handle and young wisdom http://bash.org/?7717 http://bash.org/?7717
- anamexis 6y agoMy quote being #11 in the Top 100 is the closest I have ever been to fame. http://bash.org/?207373 http://bash.org/?207373
- annadane 6y agoYou legend, you.
- golergka 6y agoI don't even remember when did I first read it. It's not close, it is it.
- anamexis 6y agoI would estimate 2005.
- Afforess 6y agoYours is much better. http://bash.org/?946436 http://bash.org/?946436
- dylz 6y agoI have to admit, this is a bit odd to think about in 2020: 20k upvotes in a system where there is no mitigation, captcha, JS or cookie requirement, being considered high - then I click over to Twitter and see things that have hundreds of thousands of "likes" in minutes from posting.
- ceejayoz 6y agoOne of my first full web apps was a clone of Bash.org with AJAX for the upvote/downvotes for a web forum I helped moderate. Must've been early 2000s?
- thejynxed 6y agoI have a few comments listed on there, haven't visited that site or used IRC in ages.
- Minor49er 6y agoA couple of mine are still around: http://bash.org/?105643 http://bash.org/?105643 http://bash.org/?105259 http://bash.org/?105259 The MegaZeux community was awesome
- endgame 6y agoDunno if you know, but the ZZT community had a revival of sorts with the release of the reconstructed source code. Unfortunately it's on discord, but a few mzx people hang around too.
- Minor49er 6y agoI've heard about the ZZT reconstruction project. It's pretty exiting to see. Both communities have always been somewhat related.
- sitzkrieg 6y agothe 'bottom' quotes are still accessible at ?bottom if anyone misses all the racist ones
- LittlePeter 6y agoA quick win for readability is to align the first character of each chat message. Perhaps some colors would be useful too. I noticed I had to expend quite some mental power just to follow the chats linked here.
- tams 6y agoAlso, there was qdb.us: https://web.archive.org/web/20190802095853/http://www.qdb.us/ https://web.archive.org/web/20190802095853/http://www.qdb.us...
- DCoder 6y agoMozilla runs a DB of their own: [0]. Although their IRC network closed down recently, so this might not last long either. And there's also XKCDB [1]. [0]: http://quotes.burntelectrons.org/browse http://quotes.burntelectrons.org/browse [1]: http://www.xkcdb.com/ http://www.xkcdb.com/
- sabas123 6y agohttp://bash.org/?362137 http://bash.org/?362137 karma?
- osamagirl69 6y agoMan this brings back memories. Oh how I miss the '90s
- math0ne 6y agoThis used to be on my daily read list, def some quotes from me on there.
- HereticLocke 6y agoThis is by far my favorite: http://bash.org/?23396 http://bash.org/?23396
- chx 6y agoI got close to http://bash.org/?5273 http://bash.org/?5273 recently. My work at one point had an OS X specific piece. So I got a wreck of a Macbook Air 2011 around 2013 or 2014, can't quite remember, the original owner tried to replace the LCD and failed spectacularly (I think replacing the screen now would require replacing the motherboard) and sold it screenless for cheap, perfect for my purposes. I added a Thunderbolt-Ethernet dongle to it, chucked it in the parts cupboard (it has slats so it airs well) and forgot about it when I changed primary clients in 2015 and I no longer needed it. A couple weeks ago I needed a Mac again and thought hey, I have a wreck. I checked LuCI and hey, there is wreck in the DHCP leases, that thing is still alive, I ran VNC against it, but what's my password? I haven't logged in for more than four years, let's reset the password. So I go to the cabinet, pull it out and https://i.imgur.com/SQbISmB.jpg https://i.imgur.com/SQbISmB.jpg URGH
- js2 6y agoThat is terrifying. How do you plan to handle/dispose of that battery? I guess I'd unplug the Mac from AC and run the battery all the way down, but then you probably should have a fireproof bag to transport it to someplace that will accept it for disposal/recycling. edit: ifixit instructions: https://www.ifixit.com/Wiki/What_to_do_with_a_swollen_battery https://www.ifixit.com/Wiki/What_to_do_with_a_swollen_batter...
- chx 6y agoI had someone to come and replace the battery and take the old one away. Not my problem any more.
- gramakri 6y agoI feel I have read an entire story with the same starting line as the above. Can anyone else recall something similar?
- toast0 6y agohttps://www.theregister.co.uk/2001/04/12/missing_novell_server_discovered_after/ https://www.theregister.co.uk/2001/04/12/missing_novell_serv...
- aeturnum 6y agoAh Bash! My friends and I found this at its heyday in the early 2000s right when we were becoming computer literate ourselves. We we not IRC people, but had a communal skype chat going[1] and recognized the conventions. The hunter2 password joke is so iconic that I still see it referenced regularly. I always think about the "moral combat" top quote where someone is kicked with the input sequence for a fatality as a great example of internet wit[2]. In general, I think many of the top quotes succinctly capture the realities of membership in internet communities (the double-edged nature of having moderators, the daily trials of our fellow users, the delight of linguistic playfulness). There were other quote sites out there. qdb.us comes to mind, though it seems to have lost all its content, you can still see it on the wayback machine: https://web.archive.org/web/20120131065558/http://qdb.us/top https://web.archive.org/web/20120131065558/http://qdb.us/top [1] Skype, in its early days (and maybe still?), allowed group chats where other clients would send you the messages you missed automatically. We had no desire to run a server and this was in the era when Skype was nearly entirely peer-to-peer. I think of it as our own personal internet golden age. [2] http://www.bash.org/?205195 http://www.bash.org/?205195
- krallja 6y agoJust today I muttered 'hunter2' while typing my password in on a screen share. At least two other people got the joke.
- qmarchi 6y agoBeing honest, the guest password for my NAS is hunter2. Better than 0, and yet still common enough to be funny.
- forgotmypw17 6y agoqdb.us succumbed to PHP 5.x -> 7.x compatibility issues, but should be returning soon.
- eganist 6y agoDo you have a source for this? I think I had a quote in the top 100 that I felt kinda bad about losing. lol
- every 6y agoThe nethack equivalent: https://nhqdb.alt.org/?latest https://nhqdb.alt.org/?latest
- MaxBarraclough 6y agoThere's an Eve Online equivalent too: http://www.omgrawr.net/quote/top http://www.omgrawr.net/quote/top
- nayuki 6y agoThe current link to https://bash.org/ https://bash.org/ is broken. Only http://bash.org/ http://bash.org/ works right now.
- yash1th 6y agomy favorite so far http://bash.org/?835030 http://bash.org/?835030
- epx 6y agohttp://bash.org/?330261 http://bash.org/?330261 <i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b <BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b?
- ship_it 6y agoAh, a classic.
- neonate 6y agohttps://web.archive.org/web/20200525212839/https://bash.org/ https://web.archive.org/web/20200525212839/https://bash.org/
- jtmcmc 6y agoah sigh, I too have some quotes in bash.org qdb.
- da39a3ee 6y agoOK, what? I'm (a) not someone with "progressive" politics (b) can't stand diversity and inclusion stuff, (c) don't believe in progressive dogma about workplace environments being the reason for poor representation of women and minorities in tech. But the presence of this thread on HN and the pathetic pornographic content in the linked IRC logs, recording the puerile online conversations of a bunch of awkward teenage males, makes me start to doubt everything I said in my first paragraph. dang/mods -- I think this thread should be removed from the front page.
- generationP 6y agoThis is not just some random schoolyard humor, this is a whole generation of internet citizens' common childhood (adolescence, to be more precise). If you don't find anything of value in them, it's okay. Not everyone has to like punk or hiphop either.
- da39a3ee 6y agoWhat? Have you read this crap? There are women trying to participate in HN. This is absurd, this embarrassing teenage shit has no place at all on HN. You sound like an intelligent person, I don't think you're thinking straight. 'PLZ FWD ALL PACKAGES MARKED "GAY" TO PROPER DEPARTMENTS (IN REAR)' ugly bitches should wear masks all the time.. or rather paper bags plastic bags... so they cant breath how is hacking like sex? gets better with practice? 'get in, get out, hope you dont leave anything behind that can be traced to you
- forgotmypw17 6y agoI neither own nor operate bash.org. I wrote the scripts, collected the seed content, initially in quotes.txt, and operated at geekissues.org/quotes/ until its move to bash.org. AMA
- Havoc 6y agoHow does one collect funny IRC contents via script?
- forgotmypw17 6y agoIt's funny that this should come up on the frontpage today, because just yesterday, I chose to go and find and install ircN, which still works just fine, by the way. That is how I collected the quotes originally, by using ircN's quote commands, which saved them in a file called quotes.txt, IIRC. Then, I would occasionally entertain the channel with random quotes. Eventually, I converted quotes.txt to quotes.html and posted it on my website. Then I built a PHP+MySQL database with a submission form, then some basic anti-abuse and moderation features.
- Havoc 6y agoDoesn't really answer the core part of the question - how did you fish out the funny ones?
- dependenttypes 6y agoManually
- dannyw 6y agoDo you still use IRC?
- forgotmypw17 6y agoYes, I still love and use IRC, and I just recently installed mIRC and then ircN, and aside from nostalgic value, it's still great for conversation. irssi is my go-to client in general.
- aleksi 6y agoI'm somewhat surprised that no-one mentioned https://bash.im https://bash.im (formerly bash.org.ru) yet. It started as a Russian equivalent of bash.org (the very first "quote" https://bash.im/quote/1 https://bash.im/quote/1 is infamously a translation of http://bash.org/?74629; http://bash.org/?74629; and is still know as "bash org" even after the domain name change), but become a phenomenon of the Russian internet segment over the years.
- Havoc 6y ago>no-one mentioned yet I don't think the bulk of the audience here can read russian
- yellowapple 6y agoГовори за себя.
- forgotmypw17 6y agoIt was at bash.org.ru for a while. They recently redesigned it. If you want to see what the previous designed looked like, try http://bashorg.org/ http://bashorg.org/
- fratajcz 6y agoThere's also https://danstonchat.com/ https://danstonchat.com/ in France (formerly known as bashfr)
- Havoc 6y agoImpressed by the amount of hn crew claiming they have quotes on there. Maybe not all of it is fake after all
- dusted 6y agoI though it went down.. Hmm, it didn't so I'll start reading that again ^_^ Thanks!
- bpicolo 6y agoWhen the original iPhone came out, bandwidth on Edge was so slow that Bash was just about the only site I could load with a good ratio of load time to enjoyment. I read a lot of bash, then.
- penetrarthur 6y agoI feel like early IRC was when people were much more involved in communicating over the not so popular internet. Sitting and chatting was a way of spending time by itself. Brings back warm feelings.
- archagon 6y agoAnyone remember the bash.org equivalent for the xkcd IRC channel, where you were only allowed to send messages that had never been sent before? I can't seem to find it anymore — there were some gems that riffed on popular bash.org quotes. EDIT: Found it! http://www.xkcdb.com http://www.xkcdb.com
- k2xl 6y agoheh mine is still there too http://bash.org/?605501 http://bash.org/?605501
- deleted 6y ago[deleted]
- deleted 6y ago[deleted]
- ericzawo 6y agoA quote of mine, from an eternity ago, is still floating around on the top 100-200 section after over ~15 years. It's amazing (and weird?) that a 10 year old's funny IRC chatlog is going to be immortalized on this site foreermore.
- rosstex 6y agoAMA request: the hunter2 guy
- adnanh 6y agoFork of the Rash QDB: https://github.com/paxed/rash-qdb-fork https://github.com/paxed/rash-qdb-fork
- kiddico 6y agoWell, this may totally destroy my productivity today... Also, just a note: you may want to make it more apparent that the "Top 100-200" is 2 different links. Took me a while to figure out why I ended up in two different places on my desktop and laptop.
- supersandra 6y ago(I can't believe I'm logging into HN to post this, but hey) I read many of these quotes back in middle and early high school, pretty early in the DB's existence as I can remember when it moved to bash.org. I promptly forgot about its existence, but a bunch of the material remained wedged in my brain. Fast forward 10+ years. I had recently started dating someone whose name is [redacted], and I was starting to meet a bunch of his friends and hang out with them more regularly. I made a reference to part of a quote, and one of his friends replied with the next line. Then said friend added, "you know that's [redacted] in that quote, right?" I very much thought that he was trolling me, so I looked at the quote, and... well, it certainly says [redacted] in the username, but more importantly, it matched the pattern how he liked to format/modify his usernames to indicate certain contexts. And now we have been married for almost 6 years. Internet??? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯