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The author is quoting someone else: “Because every minute spent doing something other than what you love most today is a minute you’re more likely to regret whe

The author is quoting someone else: “Because every minute spent doing something other than what you love most today is a minute you’re more likely to regret when you’re 80.” Depending on how literally one takes that, you’re going to be one sorry motherfucker when you’re old. I like taking a shit, but I don’t love it. But I gotta do it, my Yelp review on “taking a shit” notwithstanding. Personally, I quit being so spoiled that every moment must be filled with things I “love” and have a “passion” for. Oh, I pursue those things. But I’ve also learned to love the mundane. There’s more to washing dishes than you think. But enough shit talking the post, the take away stands: if you’re not being paid, select your activities carefully. I would add that one select from those one is willing to commit to, if only for a little bit. Keeps you from being flakey: “do not love, next!”

the_gipsy 7y ago
> do not love, next! Ha yes, how will you find anything if you already have everything figured out?
Wowfunhappy 7y ago
> But I’ve also learned to love the mundane. There’s more to washing dishes than you think. When I was looking for an entry-level New York studio apartment four years ago, one thing I absolutely insisted on having was a dishwasher. Screw the overall size of the kitchen or the square footage of the apartment, or even whether I had a stove or an oven—I needed a dishwasher god damn it! My parents and a lot of my friends told me I was being silly. Washing dishes doesn't take that long, they said, and dishwashers take up a lot of space you'll want to have in a tiny kitchen. Every day when I use my dishwasher, I'm glad I didn't listen to them. I do have exceedingly little space in my kitchen, but I don't mind, as long as I don't have to wash dishes. My point here is, there's a lot of ways to cut down on mundane tasks, and it's really worth prioritizing that effort over other concerns.
- wayne_skylar 7y ago
  Also live in NY and I bought a portable dishwasher 10 years ago and have brought it with me during every move. It's on casters and functions as a countertop (which I need anyway) when not in use. I went for a few years without using it in my newest apartment because my adapter didn't fit my new faucet. For some reason it took me a few years to think to look for a different adapter. Anyway I very much appreciate using my dishwasher. It feels like it makes an impact on my life in a way that most other tech doesn't. It feels like magic. You put in dirty dishes and out come clean ones. I liken it to having a washing machine that you put dirty clothes in and they come out clean, dry, and folded.
- jfkebwjsbx 7y ago
  Washing dishes takes no time. If you were single, it definitely takes less time than putting and maintaining the diskwasher.
  - danShumway 7y ago
    Really? Because I'm single, and I've done both, and the dishwasher is very clearly easier and faster to me. Maybe you have a secret dishwashing technique that I don't know? A decent dishwasher doesn't require much maintenance at all. And the very, very little that it does is generally a more interesting use of time than washing dishes is anyway. But I started using dishwashers maybe 5-6 years ago, and I can count on one hand the number of times I've needed to mess around with fixing one.
    - leetcrew 7y ago
      I'm single, and the only problem I have with dishwashers is that it takes about a week for me to actually fill it with dirty dishes. by that time, there tends to be a gross smell whenever I open the door. I also have only one of certain utensils that I need to use more than once a week. I know dishwashers are pretty efficient and it's probably less wasteful to just run a half full load than to clean plates by hand, but I have an irrational opposition to doing this.
      - nitrogen 7y ago
        You could also get extra of the critical utensils. The price of, say, a second or third spatula might be covered by the time saved by a dishwasher.
      - Wowfunhappy 7y ago
        Yeah, you need to just go ahead and run the dishwasher. You're not being wasteful: when the dishwasher is full, it doesn't work as well. Which means you need to pre-rinse dishes, which wastes water versus just running the dishwasher more often.
  - alexilliamson 7y ago
- seanmcdirmid 7y ago
  We started using a dishwasher when our kid came. It turns out a dishwasher does a much better job of cleaning and drying dishes (hence better disinfection) than doing them by hand, especially milk bottles.
- spdionis 7y ago
  Sometimes we just get stubborn like little children and no amount of logic can get us out of that. Happens to me too sometimes. Sometimes getting that little meaningless thing you want in your life is very important. If you can't even get a simple dishwasher when you _want_ it, then what's the point? Just getting the thing is probably more advantegous from a psychological standpoint.
- jv22222 7y ago
  Yayy for dishwashers AND dishwasher Tetris is a totally fun game!
- qplex 7y ago
  I bought rubber gloves and it completely changed the game for me. Washing dishes is a zen-like experience. As the utensils, glassware, cups, plates and whatever pile up, you start to feel the itch to clean up the mess. As you finally get to it, you contemplate on what a pig you've been. And when the work is FINALLY done you can admire the cleanness. Then you say to yourself that you will only use ONE plate and ONE cup and wash them straight after, only to find yourself again in the same situation a couple of days later.
- oh_sigh 7y ago
  They make portable dishwashers that hook into your faucet. You could have had one for a few hundred bucks and also lived where you wanted.
- Tade0 7y ago
  My point here is, there's a lot of ways to cut down on mundane tasks, and it's really worth prioritizing that effort over other concerns. This is exactly the reason why we went and bought a Roomba. It doesn't clean as thoroughly as a human would, but it does it every day, and each time with the same robotic determination. I currently have a more polished apartment than I ever cared for and at the same time am dedicating less time to keep it that way. What's not to love about that?
airstrike 7y ago
> There’s more to washing dishes than you think. I also find it quite relaxing, perhaps even therapeutic
- clarry 7y ago
  I do too, sometimes. If I'm not in a hurry to do anything else. Unfortunately that's not often. For example, I don't want to waste much time on lunch break doing dishes. I usually try to clean my plate and utensils, but sometimes even that has to wait. After work, I might just want to grab a coffee and something to eat and go relax with music & books (or HN..). After that, I might have more pressing chores -- go buy milk and coffee and something to eat for the next couple days. Exercise. Shower. Hmm, do I need to do the laundry today too? Try to put some time into a personal project, as if 30 minutes here and there were enough to ever bring them to completion. What ends up happening often enough is a pile of dishes and no motivation to go relax with them because there's more pressing (or more relaxing) stuff at hand. I'm glad I have a washing machine, and I hope my next home will be big enough for a dishwasher.
  - airstrike 7y ago
    I hear you, and I'm glad I have a dishwasher now after 30 years without one... I hope you get yours very soon! I mostly only do a subset of dishes like pots and pans, or an odd plate / knife from making a sandwich here or there, mostly on the weekends. But still, after cooking a big meal on the weekends, it's nice to find time to just not think for a while and decompress while feeling the water in my hands, listening to the silence...
kranner 7y ago
I agree. If regret-minimisation is the goal, one can go about it the other way, by learning not to regret so much. In my personal experience, loving the mundane and not regretting things I haven't done has come naturally with age (and perhaps as a result of a steady meditation practice.) By 80, I should be so satisfied in my cynicism, I should not regret not having done anything in particular.
fulafel 7y ago
The 80 year old you you and the current you are two different people with different interests. Of course the future 80 year you would love it if you made every effort to make his life better, but the current you may value comfort more than going on terrifying adventures that make for amusing reminiscing if you survive them.
- pier25 7y ago
  I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Our 20-25 year old influences our education/career based on our interests at that age. But shouldn't we make those decisions based on what our 40 year old will be like? Of course a career change at 40 is totally doable but wouldn't it be better if we had been working 15-20 years towards that goal instead of starting from scratch at 40? Impossible, I know, but something interesting to think about.
  - Nathaniades 7y ago
    >Of course a career change at 40 is totally doable but wouldn't it be better if we had been working 15-20 years towards that goal instead of starting from scratch at 40? I'm almost 40 changing careers and can confirm, in spite of how doable may or may not be I can't stop thinking how things would have been different if my father said "yes" to purchasing a personal computer when I was fawning over them through computer magazines as a kid.
- Wowfunhappy 7y ago
  I'll add to this—I feel like 80-year-old me is just going to be pissed off that he's old. He might make various statements to rationalize his discontent, but those won't be the core issue.
3fe9a03ccd14ca5 7y ago
> ”Because every minute spent doing something other than what you love most today is a minute you’re more likely to regret when you’re 80.” You can learn to love what you do, no matter the task. You can foster love and appreciation with anything. Learn first to love what you do, no matter the task.
luxuryballs 7y ago
Reminds me of CS Lewis: “The sort of thrill a boy has at the first idea of flying will not go on when he has joined the R.A.F. and is really learning to fly. The thrill you feel on first seeing some delightful place dies away when you really go to live there. Does this mean it would be better not to learn to fly and not to live in the beautiful place? By no means. In both cases, if you go through with it, the dying away of the first thrill will be compensated for by a quieter and more lasting kind of interest. What is more (and I can hardly find words to tell you how important I think this), it is just the people who are ready to submit to the loss of the thrill and settle down to the sober interest, who are then most likely to meet new thrills in some quite different direction. The man who has learned to fly and becomes a good pilot will suddenly discover music; the man who has settled down to live in the beauty spot will discover gardening.”
RcouF1uZ4gsC 7y ago
Many times it’s the time spent doing something you don’t like in the moment that produces the best memories. At the time, I hated waking up in the middle of the night to feed or change my newborn baby. However, as I have grown older, thinking back on those moments that I did not like at the time, are actually some of my best memories.

the_gipsy 7y ago

> do not love, next! Ha yes, how will you find anything if you already have everything figured out?

Wowfunhappy 7y ago

> But I’ve also learned to love the mundane. There’s more to washing dishes than you think. When I was looking for an entry-level New York studio apartment four years ago, one thing I absolutely insisted on having was a dishwasher. Screw the overall size of the kitchen or the square footage of the apartment, or even whether I had a stove or an oven—I needed a dishwasher god damn it! My parents and a lot of my friends told me I was being silly. Washing dishes doesn't take that long, they said, and dishwashers take up a lot of space you'll want to have in a tiny kitchen. Every day when I use my dishwasher, I'm glad I didn't listen to them. I do have exceedingly little space in my kitchen, but I don't mind, as long as I don't have to wash dishes. My point here is, there's a lot of ways to cut down on mundane tasks, and it's really worth prioritizing that effort over other concerns.

wayne_skylar 7y ago
Also live in NY and I bought a portable dishwasher 10 years ago and have brought it with me during every move. It's on casters and functions as a countertop (which I need anyway) when not in use. I went for a few years without using it in my newest apartment because my adapter didn't fit my new faucet. For some reason it took me a few years to think to look for a different adapter. Anyway I very much appreciate using my dishwasher. It feels like it makes an impact on my life in a way that most other tech doesn't. It feels like magic. You put in dirty dishes and out come clean ones. I liken it to having a washing machine that you put dirty clothes in and they come out clean, dry, and folded.
jfkebwjsbx 7y ago
Washing dishes takes no time. If you were single, it definitely takes less time than putting and maintaining the diskwasher.
- danShumway 7y ago
  Really? Because I'm single, and I've done both, and the dishwasher is very clearly easier and faster to me. Maybe you have a secret dishwashing technique that I don't know? A decent dishwasher doesn't require much maintenance at all. And the very, very little that it does is generally a more interesting use of time than washing dishes is anyway. But I started using dishwashers maybe 5-6 years ago, and I can count on one hand the number of times I've needed to mess around with fixing one.
  - leetcrew 7y ago
    I'm single, and the only problem I have with dishwashers is that it takes about a week for me to actually fill it with dirty dishes. by that time, there tends to be a gross smell whenever I open the door. I also have only one of certain utensils that I need to use more than once a week. I know dishwashers are pretty efficient and it's probably less wasteful to just run a half full load than to clean plates by hand, but I have an irrational opposition to doing this.
    - nitrogen 7y ago
      You could also get extra of the critical utensils. The price of, say, a second or third spatula might be covered by the time saved by a dishwasher.
    - Wowfunhappy 7y ago
      Yeah, you need to just go ahead and run the dishwasher. You're not being wasteful: when the dishwasher is full, it doesn't work as well. Which means you need to pre-rinse dishes, which wastes water versus just running the dishwasher more often.
- alexilliamson 7y ago
seanmcdirmid 7y ago
We started using a dishwasher when our kid came. It turns out a dishwasher does a much better job of cleaning and drying dishes (hence better disinfection) than doing them by hand, especially milk bottles.
spdionis 7y ago
Sometimes we just get stubborn like little children and no amount of logic can get us out of that. Happens to me too sometimes. Sometimes getting that little meaningless thing you want in your life is very important. If you can't even get a simple dishwasher when you _want_ it, then what's the point? Just getting the thing is probably more advantegous from a psychological standpoint.
jv22222 7y ago
Yayy for dishwashers AND dishwasher Tetris is a totally fun game!
qplex 7y ago
I bought rubber gloves and it completely changed the game for me. Washing dishes is a zen-like experience. As the utensils, glassware, cups, plates and whatever pile up, you start to feel the itch to clean up the mess. As you finally get to it, you contemplate on what a pig you've been. And when the work is FINALLY done you can admire the cleanness. Then you say to yourself that you will only use ONE plate and ONE cup and wash them straight after, only to find yourself again in the same situation a couple of days later.
oh_sigh 7y ago
They make portable dishwashers that hook into your faucet. You could have had one for a few hundred bucks and also lived where you wanted.
Tade0 7y ago
My point here is, there's a lot of ways to cut down on mundane tasks, and it's really worth prioritizing that effort over other concerns. This is exactly the reason why we went and bought a Roomba. It doesn't clean as thoroughly as a human would, but it does it every day, and each time with the same robotic determination. I currently have a more polished apartment than I ever cared for and at the same time am dedicating less time to keep it that way. What's not to love about that?

airstrike 7y ago

> There’s more to washing dishes than you think. I also find it quite relaxing, perhaps even therapeutic

clarry 7y ago
I do too, sometimes. If I'm not in a hurry to do anything else. Unfortunately that's not often. For example, I don't want to waste much time on lunch break doing dishes. I usually try to clean my plate and utensils, but sometimes even that has to wait. After work, I might just want to grab a coffee and something to eat and go relax with music & books (or HN..). After that, I might have more pressing chores -- go buy milk and coffee and something to eat for the next couple days. Exercise. Shower. Hmm, do I need to do the laundry today too? Try to put some time into a personal project, as if 30 minutes here and there were enough to ever bring them to completion. What ends up happening often enough is a pile of dishes and no motivation to go relax with them because there's more pressing (or more relaxing) stuff at hand. I'm glad I have a washing machine, and I hope my next home will be big enough for a dishwasher.
- airstrike 7y ago
  I hear you, and I'm glad I have a dishwasher now after 30 years without one... I hope you get yours very soon! I mostly only do a subset of dishes like pots and pans, or an odd plate / knife from making a sandwich here or there, mostly on the weekends. But still, after cooking a big meal on the weekends, it's nice to find time to just not think for a while and decompress while feeling the water in my hands, listening to the silence...

kranner 7y ago

I agree. If regret-minimisation is the goal, one can go about it the other way, by learning not to regret so much. In my personal experience, loving the mundane and not regretting things I haven't done has come naturally with age (and perhaps as a result of a steady meditation practice.) By 80, I should be so satisfied in my cynicism, I should not regret not having done anything in particular.

fulafel 7y ago

The 80 year old you you and the current you are two different people with different interests. Of course the future 80 year you would love it if you made every effort to make his life better, but the current you may value comfort more than going on terrifying adventures that make for amusing reminiscing if you survive them.

pier25 7y ago
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Our 20-25 year old influences our education/career based on our interests at that age. But shouldn't we make those decisions based on what our 40 year old will be like? Of course a career change at 40 is totally doable but wouldn't it be better if we had been working 15-20 years towards that goal instead of starting from scratch at 40? Impossible, I know, but something interesting to think about.
- Nathaniades 7y ago
  >Of course a career change at 40 is totally doable but wouldn't it be better if we had been working 15-20 years towards that goal instead of starting from scratch at 40? I'm almost 40 changing careers and can confirm, in spite of how doable may or may not be I can't stop thinking how things would have been different if my father said "yes" to purchasing a personal computer when I was fawning over them through computer magazines as a kid.
Wowfunhappy 7y ago
I'll add to this—I feel like 80-year-old me is just going to be pissed off that he's old. He might make various statements to rationalize his discontent, but those won't be the core issue.

3fe9a03ccd14ca5 7y ago

> ”Because every minute spent doing something other than what you love most today is a minute you’re more likely to regret when you’re 80.” You can learn to love what you do, no matter the task. You can foster love and appreciation with anything. Learn first to love what you do, no matter the task.

luxuryballs 7y ago

Reminds me of CS Lewis: “The sort of thrill a boy has at the first idea of flying will not go on when he has joined the R.A.F. and is really learning to fly. The thrill you feel on first seeing some delightful place dies away when you really go to live there. Does this mean it would be better not to learn to fly and not to live in the beautiful place? By no means. In both cases, if you go through with it, the dying away of the first thrill will be compensated for by a quieter and more lasting kind of interest. What is more (and I can hardly find words to tell you how important I think this), it is just the people who are ready to submit to the loss of the thrill and settle down to the sober interest, who are then most likely to meet new thrills in some quite different direction. The man who has learned to fly and becomes a good pilot will suddenly discover music; the man who has settled down to live in the beauty spot will discover gardening.”

RcouF1uZ4gsC 7y ago

Many times it’s the time spent doing something you don’t like in the moment that produces the best memories. At the time, I hated waking up in the middle of the night to feed or change my newborn baby. However, as I have grown older, thinking back on those moments that I did not like at the time, are actually some of my best memories.