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1-on-1 meeting questions

1030 points by yankit 7y ago

deleted 7y ago
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KingOfCoders 7y ago
I think 1on1s are the managers Swiss army knife and the best way to support employees in their development. If possible I do them as walk'n'talks, people are more open and ideas often flow better when walking outside the office.
- vinnymac 7y ago
  I have always done "walk'n'talks" as well, and have found them to be much more effective over the years. I always preach about them when I get the chance. It's unsurprising to me that sitting in a claustrophobic 2-person room, where it can feel like an interrogation, is less effective.
- mattrp 7y ago
  Walks n talks are great but they aren’t 1:1’s in the way the author is envisioning them. The difference is a walk n talk is something you do when you have unscheduled free time and want to sidestep email for a direct conversation. A 1:1 is More like a weekly postmortem.. you celebrate wins, you figure out how to not repeat mistakes. But from a manager’s perspective, a 1:1 is all about ego management. For example, if I am a ceo, there’s some things I can do in a staff call to resolve conflict and bottlenecks but not much - otherwise I squander the energy of the staff meeting. Instead, I can have 1:1’s starting first with revenue... what are the roadblocks. Outside a 1:1 setting I can’t get the sales manager to get honest with me and own up roadblocks that his/her own doing vs the ones from other departments. From there it’s a cascade of meeting with successive department leads until I’m down to the one guy who owns fixing them all - product. If you’re the manager of a team further down in the org, you don’t have this end to end ownership for the entire business but the theories are the same... organize your week so you’re building a pipeline of issues and then meet with the people most able to resolve them. Doing it in a regular 1:1 session helps isolate egos and creates consistency.. if you’re trying to solve roadblocks that appear/resolve inside that weekly cadence, you’re doing too much of your own employees work for them. Ideally you’re focused on the next major milestone and the one after that.
  - lonelappde 7y ago
    Gp's "walk and talk" just mea s having a meeting while walking outsit instead of sitting down. it's good for casualness and rapport but terrible for organizing thoughts and remembering what to follow-up on.
    - KingOfCoders 7y ago
      Yes. I'd often have at least once per month the weekly 1on1 in the office. Also depends on people, some are ok with broad development, some feel better with action items and todos to follow up on.
- yankit 7y ago
  It's better to spend a couple of hours a month to focus your team than dealing with a fast-approaching deadline.
stephc_int13 7y ago
Wow, this is amazing. I can't help but think of all the sarcastic answers I would give the so-called manager with a slight grin on my face. Seriously, I think this list is a potent illustration of modern management bullcrap. Come on guys, don't do this to your team, they are not children...
- saagarjha 7y ago
  What kind of questions would you ask?
  - yankit 7y ago
    I especially like these 2: - what we as a company doing wrong? - name 10 things which can kill our business?
- KingOfCoders 7y ago
  What question in particular do you find not appropriate?
  - dijit 7y ago
    “What did you want to be when you grow up” feels a bit out of touch.
    - KingOfCoders 7y ago
      Yes might be, and I would agree. Although it could be a great opener for finding out what the person wants. I have often found it the hardest thing to help find out what the person I had 1on1s with wanted to become (or not, e.g. a manager). Sometimes people have a clear vision, sometimes it took a year. Everyone was happier though.
    - yankit 7y ago
      I guess it depends on what kind of connection you have with your manager. I saw managers who would rather fire people if they feel they would be happier ion another place.
m_b 7y ago
Can someone point to me the goal of using NodeJs to produce a list like this? Why not just modifying the .md file directly?
- febeling 7y ago
  Looks like the questions are actually collected in machine readable form in a JSON file, and only rendered to Markdown
  - johannes1234321 7y ago
    Now if there were just a markup language for adding smeantic meaning to hypertext ...
- rgoulter 7y ago
  I suspect the dev wanted to make the list available in a readable format (markdown) but also have it on a website elsewhere. TBH since the markdown is in a simple format of "# <category>" + "- <question>", having the JSON seems redundant over just reading in the markdown.
awakeasleep 7y ago
Many of these will come off as frustrating and manipulative. When I, a manager, ask “what is the biggest obstacle facing you and how can i remove it,” I’m offloading the manager-level work of identifying blockers for my team on the individual. And hey, that might work, your teammate might have an insight you’re missing. But then, if they do have that insight, you’ve volunteered to do a shitload of work for your team. Thats is, in theory, good- but ive never had a manager that was willing to actually do the work when they asked the questions on this list. They'd squirm out of their offer, and try to rephrase it as something i could do. Leaves a bad taste in your mouth.
- NikolaNovak 7y ago
  >>When I, a manager, ask “what is the biggest obstacle facing you and how can i remove it,” I’m offloading the manager-level work of identifying blockers for my team on the individual. That gets a bit circular. In my mind, "asking my team members" is THE number one method of "identifying blockers for my team". Think about it - if a manager didn't ask for input from their team members, and instead assumed they can identify blockers, on their own and in vacuum, how would we portray such a manager? :-) >> ive never had a manager that was willing to actually do the work when they asked the questions on this list That is indeed the crucial second part; works for anything though - whether it's "lessons learned" at the end of the project, or "requirements gathering" from the client/user-base, or "soliciting feedback" from team members - obtaining information is critical #1 step; only useful if you then action it. Just because both effective and ineffective, willing and unwilling managers ask questions, doesn't make questions themselves bad. It does depend on the actual manager and the relationship they have with a team member. So I'd say such questions are "necessary but not sufficient" criteria for managerial success, and having a list is similarly "useful but not sufficient" :)
  - yankit 7y ago
    I agree, not only these kinds of questions we should ask, but also we should have data and objective results. Adding data and caring about people personally make the best managers I've ever seen.
  - 7y ago
yitchelle 7y ago
A great one-on-one begins with good questions. This post gives some great hints. https://marcgg.com/blog/2019/11/30/one-on-one-openers/ https://marcgg.com/blog/2019/11/30/one-on-one-openers/
PragmaticPulp 7y ago
The best 1-on-1 meetings feel like a natural conversation between two professional adults. This list of questions can provide some ideas for starting points if you pick and choose carefully, but not all of the questions are a good idea. Specifically: While it's important to listen to your employee's complaints about the company, it's equally important to avoid giving them the wrong impression that you're going to fix everything for them. Questions like "If you were CEO, what's the first thing you would change?" or "Are there any aspects of our culture you wish you could change?" or "What’s the No. 1 problem with our organization, and what do you think's causing it?" can make employees resentful of the company when the manager can't actually make changes. Many of these questions can also create a false expectation that it's the manager's job to solve all of the employees' problems for them. It's important to listen to your team and work to improve their situations, but it's equally important that you work on empowering them to solve their own problems where possible. A common mistake for first time managers is to try to absorb every small issue their team encounters, which creates an unsustainable atmosphere of dependency on the manager. Another common mistake of first-time managers is forgetting that managers must also represent the company to the employee. As a first time manager, it's tempting to think you're going to be the super manager you never had, using your powers to fight back against the company and make everything right for your employees. In reality, you need to balance the employee's wishes against the company's direction. You can't force the tail to wag the dog. Make sure you communicate what is and isn't within your power to change. Avoid commiserating with employees with employees about minutia, and instead set a tone of professionalism and reasonable boundary-setting. Most importantly: Don't forget to reiterate the organization's goals, project updates, and other company information to employees. It's easy for managers to forget that their employees might not see or hear important developments unless their manager communicates it down the chain. As a manager, it's your job to keep your employees informed and up to date. Simple updates in the form of "Your work on X project is very important for the delivery of Y product, which the CEO identified as our top priority for retaining customers" are much more effective than "When do you think X project will be finished? We really need it." Context and relevance are critical for helping your team make the right decisions.
- TeMPOraL 7y ago
  Agreed, with perhaps a small wish of my own: > Simple updates in the form of "Your work on X project is very important for the delivery of Y product, which the CEO identified as our top priority for retaining customers" If, as a manager, you don't want me, your employee, to just smile politely and roll my eyes, make sure I can trust that when you say "top priority", then it's actually a top priority. Personally, I work better when I can identify and align myself with the goals of the organization (I'm a sucker for the "something greater"). But I hate the bullshit. "Your work on X is critical" is demotivating if I can tell that all work is described as "critical", and every project in the company is "top priority".
deleted 7y ago
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rcarmo 7y ago
I looked at these and had immediate flashbacks of Eliza. Given the recent (hopefully by now tempered) enthusiasm for chatbots, this might be a great starting point for one...
kreetx 7y ago
I don't understand the negative attitudes here. Yes, a 1-on-1 should be a normal conversation, but this is a great starting point to those who don't have the experience yet!
- yankit 7y ago
  What kind of questions and data do you prepare for your 1-on-1s?
  - rwilson4 7y ago
    My 1:1s have the following format: - Current tasks - Career development/Goals (we have 6 week and yearly goals that the employees select for themselves with a little guidance from me) - Special topic, different each time and very much aligned with the posted list. My question for next time is about values. - Feedback, both delivering and soliciting (this has proven to be the hardest for me, as it takes time to think about and articulate feedback well) I do the 1:1 at a nearby coffee shop since I think people feel more open outside the office.
    - dehrmann 7y ago
      It's also important to talk about relationships with others on the team and other teams.
      - rwilson4 7y ago
        I like that! I’ll think about how I could incorporate it. Thanks!
  - jariel 7y ago
    You don't need to have anything to prepare whatsoever. It's an opportunity to talk about whatever is pressing, broader issues etc.. It's really odd to see the level of dissection going in here as to how to have a conversation about what's going on. Surely, there can be good practices, and some things to systematically bring up, but this is not rocket science.
ratherbefuddled 7y ago
Contrived wooden questions like these would be a solid reason to not work for a manager. If someone isn't able to empathise with other humans well enough to discover how they're doing without trying to artificially manipulate a conversation with a checklist, they certainly shouldn't be managing anybody. Just talk. Do it often and do it honestly. That's all.
- rwilson4 7y ago
  I treat them as prompts. I’ll give my team as much fore notice as possible what the topic will be and ask them to really think about the question in advance. Otherwise the conversations are often shallow. My team often writes out their thoughts and we go through it, it’s been pretty successful I think!
  - lonelappde 7y ago
    That's giving them extra homework and stress on top of worrying about deliverables and the problems they already care about.
    - rwilson4 7y ago
      That may be their perspective, true! But if so I would consider that a red flag indicating burn out. Why are they so worried about deliverables? Do they feel the timelines are too aggressive? Are they really so overloaded they can’t take 20 minutes to think about their work from a different perspective? What other problems do they care about? As a manager I need to tease out these things. But each team is unique; what works for my team might not work for yours! In 4 years of doing 1:1s this way, at different companies and with dozens of teammates, I have received mostly positive feedback. And I’ve definitely adapted the process to address concerns. But again, every person has their own individual needs and preferences.
    - rwilson4 7y ago
      Also, if you don’t mind me asking, what kind of support from your manager would be helpful in this situation?
skizm 7y ago
As a grunt IC 1 on 1s are a nightmare for me. I never know what to talk about. All current project stuff is hashed out in or after scrum. Career development is more of a once per year thing (at least not weekly). If I had a problem with any of my team members I would have brought it up by now (assuming I thought others felt that way, I don't want to be the only one to bring it up or I'll be seen as the problem). For your feedback, I'm just going to tell you whatever I think you want to hear. Am I happy? Not really, but more because I'm stuck with a 9-5 for the next decade and obviously I'd never tell a manager that... what's left? Personal life nonsense? I'm your co-worker, not your friend. The less I know about other people's personal lives the better. > I’m trying to make my 1-on-1s better and would appreciate your honest feedback on this one — what did you like about it, and what could be improved? Make them optional or email me your canned questions so I don't have to squirm trying to think of an answer on the spot that will keep the status quo and get me out of the meeting without any "action items" for the next one.
- VectorLock 7y ago
  I appreciate the "You need code, I need to eat" mentality but I don't think managers/managed need to treat each other with a total cold clinical demeanor. You might just be there to work, but treating each other like people makes you hate going into work just a little bit less. People might not want to be too close to people in case they need to get rid of them. I think being a good coach means loving your team but still being strong enough to make the hard decisions. At least it lets you make those hard decisions from a place of humanity.
- hnrodey 7y ago
  tbh (without knowing anything else about you, maybe caught you at a bad moment) this attitude is going to stunt your career development and growth more than you can possibly imagine. Are you wrong with any of this? Not at all. But letting it drip over in to impacting the quality of your relationships is detrimental to yourself and everyone around you. It's also disrespecting the contributions you make to the team, project and company. You're more than just a warm body pressing buttons. Good luck mate, wish you the best.
RotaryTelephone 7y ago
My 1on1's at a 100k+ international corporation always went like this: Manager: so how's it going? Me: great Manager: any issues? anything you want to discuss? Me: everything is fantastic! I'm very happy with my job :D Manager: cool cool... well let's do this again next month. Me: yay! I don't want someone in a similar situation like I was to get inspired by lists like these and go into their next 1on1 wrecking havoc with the status quo. When you, your manager, his manager and the next guy up are just cogs in a machine churning for years through the same kinds of faceless conglomerates - you either shut up and put up or end up on someone's Excel spreadsheet highlighted in yellow. Then during the next round of layoffs (you know they're coming) the yellow cogs will be replaced with fresh green ones and you'll be out on the street cramming algorithm questions all over again and interviewing with A.I. HR filters for the next 6months. Understand where you work before opening your mouth, people ;)
- mcv 7y ago
  I see it as part of my job to do my part to improve the work environment. That includes identifying and addressing problems when I see them. The people who should be laid off are the people who create the problems, not the ones who identify the problems and want to fix them. A good employer knows this, and will appreciate people who want to improve the company. If they fire me for speaking up, then good riddance. I'm probably better off somewhere else.
- BoorishBears 7y ago
  Some people have already optimized their careers never to work at a place like this. I don't think it's even that hard to avoid.
- divbzero 7y ago
  Agreed with parent to take 1 on 1’s lightly as just an avenue of conversation. If there is an adjustment you’d like to see, try to suggest it constructively and you don’t have to wait for a 1 on 1 to do so. That said, the “big list” here is directed towards managers and, for a manager, picking out one of these questions now and then as a conversation starter could uncover issues or opportunities that you could address early and make someone just a little happier at work.
stared 7y ago
For my taste, "Are you on track to meet the deadline?" is an intense discussion starter, as strong as a punch.
- jakemal 7y ago
  I think it depends on what the consequences are for missing a deadline.
- lexicality 7y ago
  I think that depends entirely on _when_ the question is asked. If you get asked "Are you on track to meet the deadline" 50% of the way through the scheduled time then it should be a) An opportunity to reflect on your progress b) A chance to ask for help if needed Of course, if a shitty manager asks you that 3 hours before the deadline then ha ha ha good luck
  - stared 7y ago
    Well, it is an important question, when talking with a manager. But I find it to be of a totally different caliber than "Hey, what’s going on?" or "How are you? How is life outside of work?". Vide asking "How was your last medical checkup?" in a personal conversation. Well, if it is good or OK-ish, it may be fine. In all other cases, it may turn a conversation into much more emotionally instense and sterssfull.
    - lexicality 7y ago
      I honestly think that is a reflection of the kind of management your company promotes. In previous places I've worked, "are you on schedule?" would be an implicit attack - but in my current workplace checking in on people and making sure they're not silently struggling is a regular and casual thing.
different_sort 7y ago
Thank you for sharing this. I'm a strong technologist who has inherited people management responsibilities for some junior technologists and I definitely consider people management to be the thing that I suck the most at in worklife.
- yankit 7y ago
  I think this is what happens to a big portion of devs after promotion to management. Do you have any advices for people in your situation?
throwawaygo 7y ago
When did 1:1's become manager interrogation sessions? What happened to just connecting and providing space to talk about whatever is on the emp's mind?
- yankit 7y ago
  Good point - in my opinion, 1:1 is for employee, not for manager.
- jevanish 7y ago
  A lot of employees either A) don't know what to talk about or B) aren't sure what their current manager considers safe topics. Questions like the above (though not all of them) can help spark discussion and get them to open up. I've personally seen a number of times where team members have a lot to say about something and didn't realize I wanted to hear their ideas on that topic. Obviously, delivery matters, and choosing a good question is important. If you have a foundation of trust already built (see Psychological Safety research) then a lot of those questions can help.
yankit 7y ago
Can someone recommend tools, hacks or techniques they use to run a perfect one-on-one meeting (tools like https://PullPanda.com https://PullPanda.com, https://Gitalytics.com https://Gitalytics.com or https://valycs.com https://valycs.com)?
- aaron-santos 7y ago
  I'd recommend Manager Tools. They have a whole set of resources for 1 on 1s. https://www.manager-tools.com/map-universe/one-ones https://www.manager-tools.com/map-universe/one-ones
- jevanish 7y ago
  Getlighthouse.com can help you run your 1 on 1s and access questions like these with your notes.
- deleted 7y ago
  [deleted]
- abhi426 7y ago
  You can try peoplebox(https://www.peoplebox.ai/ https://www.peoplebox.ai/) to run meaningful 1-on-1s. It integrates with your calendars so before every 1-on-1, it sends some pre one-on-one questions to your reports and suggestive talking points. You can collaborate on agendas, action items and track them all in one place.
A_No_Name_Mouse 7y ago
Am I the only one who scrolled down the whole list looking for the questions and issues you can bring up as a coworker? On the 1-on-1's I have with my manager I determine most of the agenda because I know where the gears need lubrication. How would she know if I don't tell her? I'm a professional and I don't need a boss who tells me what to do or how to do it: that part I'll find out by myself. But my manager needs to know what I'm doing and what issues I could use help with (like problems that need attention of upper management) and occasionally I'll ask for backing for a decision that might have consequences for our or other teams. So this feels like a useful but very lopsided list.
- yankit 7y ago
  How do you make sure you do your best work without proper feedback?
  - A_No_Name_Mouse 7y ago
    Not sure I understand your question. I will tell my manager what I'm doing. If she likes me to do different things (or the same things differently) the 1-on-1's are the best moment to talk about that. That's how I get feedback.
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betaby 7y ago
We have mandatory 1:1 and yes, questions are similar. I found them useless and not productive at all. Most hypocritical ones are about carrier development. Let's say 1:10 ration of the managers and deportees, not matter how you 'develop' there is simply no place for promotion. Technical track is rather rare outside of FAANG.
anonred 7y ago
Questions aside, I honestly thought the steps to submit a new question was satire... Contributing 1. Fork it 2. Run npm install 3. Add your resource to questions.json 4. Run node index to update README.md with your changes 5. Create your feature branch (git checkout -b my-new-feature) 6. Commit your changes (git commit -am "Add some feature") 7. Push to the branch (git push origin my-new-feature) 8. Create new Pull Request https://github.com/VGraupera/1on1-questions#contributing https://github.com/VGraupera/1on1-questions#contributing
- deleted 7y ago
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- BossingAround 7y ago
  > I honestly thought the steps to submit a new question was satire... I know, right? No Kubernetes deployment configs to check whether it builds and runs as a micro-service in the cloud? Pff!
- noobermin 7y ago
  I visibly grimaced when I saw this. This is straight up ridiculous.
- JMTQp8lwXL 7y ago
  If they ever make a website for the collected data, consuming JSON is less brittle than parsing a README file.
  - daeken 7y ago
    It's Markdown, not just "a README file". It's designed to be easy to edit by hand and easy to parse; there's literally nothing at all gained by using the JSON file that they have. At all.
    - JMTQp8lwXL 7y ago
      You'd be more likely to have a bug parsing the markdown file than the structured JSON. There aren't many tools out there for converting markdown files into JSON and piecing what you want out of it.
devmunchies 7y ago
Speaking of career progression and management... has anyone here been able to transition from an IC to management/leadership at a remote company? Remote work feels like the ideal job when your happy with your position long-term. I don’t know how to do it working remote.
kureikain 7y ago
Have people really save the thing like "I stuck because of this of that..." for 1-1 questions. Arn't you suppose to raise awareness among your team before that point, ask for help from co-worker etc... I just cannot understand how a technical block is saved for 1-1 meeting. I would love 1-1 meeting is more about: - personal life: where thing that block you are person/family duty and manager can help with your schedule such as flexibility of wfh. - vision/long term goal: some wish list you want to implement or improvement. But even so, I already created google doc for these and 1-1 are just to discuss more about them. So when 1-1 happen too frequently, I'm out of question and feel stress and don't know what to ask/talk. Any advice for people like me? Some of question on this list is just bad because they cannot be asked more than one. Example: "How do you prefer to receive feedback?"
seattle_spring 7y ago
It's disappointing that 100% of the questions are from the perspective of the manager.
- abbadadda 7y ago
  Agreed! Was looking forward to some questions from the employee perspective. I find constructive criticism and feedback to be very helpful in staying on track.
vermooten 7y ago
"Are you on track to meet the deadline?" is the worst 121 opener, I can't think why it's on the list. Unless you're an old-skool command-and-control type of course.
wiz21c 7y ago
>> Are you on track to meet the deadline? So wrong if not put the right way... I'd prefer : I see you're struggling, maybe we could make your life easier by removing some work, accepting the quality to be a little less good, maybe we could just accept that some things will be late... I usually get :you're late, tell me why. Then I explain. Then my manger says : "I don't understand"... Then I fail to explain the obvious : I'm f*in overloaded.
huhtenberg 7y ago
> How are your parents/grandparents? "Grandparents are dead. Parents are divorced. Father is a roaring alcoholic, mother is on a death bed with cancer. Also they are both A-grade assholes that made my childhood miserable." Really sets the mood for the rest of the interview, doesn't it? In other words, stay the hell away from any personal questions.
- aspaceman 7y ago
  Yup. “They’re all dead.” Doesn’t set a great tone for a friendly conversation. Nowadays I use euphemisms like “they’re out of the picture” and pray they’re not curious.
  - andai 7y ago
    They've been moved to the cloud.
- Forge36 7y ago
  Thank you for your honesty. It sounds like you aren't close with them. There is nothing wrong with that. Do you have anyone you are close with to talk about things? Is there anything going on in your personal life you need to deal with which may be impacting your work? IE: I care about more than just the work you do, I care about you. I'd like you to be happy and know more about your life to ensure when you turn into an ass I can justify the behavior and dismiss it. "His dad died recently. His dog died this week. People have been taking at him due to projects being behind and he was on vacation the week all hell broke lose retiring his involvement" Shit happens, if you're looking for happy things from your employees don't ask them these questions. If your quote is truly what's happening in your life, I'm sorry. That sounds miserable, in posting here: I can't tell why you shared that. If I was your manager, is this a recent development and you need time to process? If not what prompted you to be so honest with me? Is there anything else you'd like to share?
  - sabas123 7y ago
    > If your quote is truly what's happening in your life, I'm sorry. That sounds miserable, in posting here: I can't tell why you shared that. If I was your manager, is this a recent development and you need time to process? If not what prompted you to be so honest with me? Is there anything else you'd like to share? Do you always expect us to lie or spend emotional energy on making it sound happy? Real shit happens and if you ask something personal like about family, don't pretend to be stupid and think this doesn't happen.
yankit 7y ago
I've just made this - https://1on1hacker.com/ https://1on1hacker.com/. It shows questions from the list in random order.
syspec 7y ago
My favorite conversation starter for work related or at social events is: ”So, what’s keeping you busy these day’s?” People always have things keeping them busy, work project, home project, personal project. This question is much more inviting to conversation than “how is it going” or “what’s new” I have never asked this question and received “nothing” in response
KKKKkkkk1 7y ago
I would say that a manager who brings up personal questions in 1:1s is leveraging their power to cross boundaries. In my mind it's akin to harassment.
- throwaway0217 7y ago
  So much this. I don't have kids. We are struggling with fertility issues. In my 1:1 my ex-manager would bring up that topic EVERY SINGLE WEEK. He also tried to develop a family relationship, where his wife would 'advise' my wife about what type of treatment we should seek. At one baby shower for a common friend, his wife asked me if we are sad seeing other people having babies. Being on H1 visa, I could only push back so much. From his perspective, he was providing 'emotional support'. I sucked up. And quit the job when the right opportunity came. Since then, I made sure to not bring any personal stuff in conversation with any colleague, including my manager for whatever reason.
m0zg 7y ago
Not once in my 25 year career did I work with a manager who gave 1/100th as much shit as this list would require. They may exist, but I've never seen one. I strongly suspect that the author of the list hasn't either, and this is a highly idealized, "spherical cow in a vacuum" type list.
ClearAndPresent 7y ago
Do you feel you’re getting enough feedback? Why/why not? Feedback. Do you have any feedback for me? Feedback. Do you think that you receive enough feedback? Feeback. Is feedback helpful for your personal development? Feedback. What can I do to help you get the feedback you want? Feedback. All replicants will be detected.
magicroot75 7y ago
I'd much rather see a list of things to bring up as the subordinate that will actually effectively improve one's lot.
muratk 7y ago
Looking at the responses here … it's not about “1:1s are basics, if you don't do them you are a failed manager.” Nor do I believe the truth is best described as: “a 1:1 is a creepy corporate checkbox to be checked and best avoided”. Isn't the answer always … it depends? On the person, on the company and team? On you, as a manager? I have had colleagues who probably would have sent me a resignation letter within days after doing a 1:1 with canned questions like that. I've also had colleagues who thought that a regular 1:1, going through the motions, was a sign that I cared and did something formal for them. (Despite normal chats and checkins.) Even if you have a 1:1, it doesn't mean that you need to go through an ever same set of stale questions. But structure can help you both to make sure the basics of the work relationship are covered. With that in mind, I see sets of questions such as this as a toolbox. Sometimes it's a good thing you can just look at the toolbox, try a few tools out, see how they fit and choose the right one for the job at hand (situation, person). I think it's great those exist. If you're doing a 1:1 to check a box, then it doesn't matter. If you care and want to use a 1:1 as a tool, then it doesn't hurt to try out different approaches.
epicgiga 7y ago
My 1:1s with last boss I had went like: "how are things..." "good" "1:1 complete". And that was on Slack. The guy just hated them, so that was my idea and made him happy. And I don't disagree with that. Sticking rigidly to one true cadence of one true meeting is a religious ritual we can do without. If a 1:1 adds anything to your team, it indicates defects. Everyone should be raising issues as they come up and have a close enough working relationship with their boss that a cyclical meeting adds nothing. And most of those questions are weak: bosses annoy and lose respect of their subordinates when they go all "facilitator" and "servant leader". A leader guides, they don't ask subordinates to tell them how to do their jobs. There are plenty of traditional ways to glean improvement information than appearing weak by asking "how can I be a better boss".
learnstats2 7y ago
"Are there any obstacles I can remove for you?" is a poor first question. If you (as a manager) haven't spent time figuring that out before the meeting, then you haven't done your share of the work. You'll be wasting your staff's time and energy in awkward 1-1 meetings. "How is it going with [obstacle that has already been identified]?" is what I would expect a vaguely competent manager to say in place of this.
kovacs_x 7y ago
imo 'development discussions' is wrong as it creates apparent power hierarchy in the company and very often does more harm then good. having a mentor and doing regular self reflection is the way to go.
chadlavi 7y ago
Title's a bit unclear, these are manager questions for 1-on-1 meetings. Would be interesting to see a similar list for questions you should keep in mind as the direct report in a 1-on-1.
- fixie 7y ago
  Looks like there are career development questions in the section below the manager questions. https://github.com/VGraupera/1on1-questions#career-development https://github.com/VGraupera/1on1-questions#career-developme...
jshowa3 7y ago
This would be one long, wasteful meeting if I asked all these questions.
blahfuk 7y ago
The meeting so useful, you have to crowdsource the agenda!
zisermann 7y ago
Managers and team leads in my company have to make 1-on-1 meeting with their team mates every month on an published calendar schedule. We have made everything possible to help them: learning materials, master-classes, QA sessions, etc. At the beginning, they were anxious that these meetings look like getting into one’s personal zone and they didn’t known what to talk about and how to get rid of embarrassment. Now they say that they are amazed how much information people are willing to share to find support and solve common problems in work, which managers have no ideas about. I’m one of those who thinks that 1-on-1 meeting is a great tool to make workplace better. Surely, everyone has to understand its goal.

1030 points by yankit 7y ago

deleted 7y ago

[deleted]

I think 1on1s are the managers Swiss army knife and the best way to support employees in their development. If possible I do them as walk'n'talks, people are more open and ideas often flow better when walking outside the office.

vinnymac 7y ago
I have always done "walk'n'talks" as well, and have found them to be much more effective over the years. I always preach about them when I get the chance. It's unsurprising to me that sitting in a claustrophobic 2-person room, where it can feel like an interrogation, is less effective.
mattrp 7y ago
Walks n talks are great but they aren’t 1:1’s in the way the author is envisioning them. The difference is a walk n talk is something you do when you have unscheduled free time and want to sidestep email for a direct conversation. A 1:1 is More like a weekly postmortem.. you celebrate wins, you figure out how to not repeat mistakes. But from a manager’s perspective, a 1:1 is all about ego management. For example, if I am a ceo, there’s some things I can do in a staff call to resolve conflict and bottlenecks but not much - otherwise I squander the energy of the staff meeting. Instead, I can have 1:1’s starting first with revenue... what are the roadblocks. Outside a 1:1 setting I can’t get the sales manager to get honest with me and own up roadblocks that his/her own doing vs the ones from other departments. From there it’s a cascade of meeting with successive department leads until I’m down to the one guy who owns fixing them all - product. If you’re the manager of a team further down in the org, you don’t have this end to end ownership for the entire business but the theories are the same... organize your week so you’re building a pipeline of issues and then meet with the people most able to resolve them. Doing it in a regular 1:1 session helps isolate egos and creates consistency.. if you’re trying to solve roadblocks that appear/resolve inside that weekly cadence, you’re doing too much of your own employees work for them. Ideally you’re focused on the next major milestone and the one after that.
- lonelappde 7y ago
  Gp's "walk and talk" just mea s having a meeting while walking outsit instead of sitting down. it's good for casualness and rapport but terrible for organizing thoughts and remembering what to follow-up on.
  - KingOfCoders 7y ago
    Yes. I'd often have at least once per month the weekly 1on1 in the office. Also depends on people, some are ok with broad development, some feel better with action items and todos to follow up on.
yankit 7y ago
It's better to spend a couple of hours a month to focus your team than dealing with a fast-approaching deadline.

stephc_int13 7y ago

Wow, this is amazing. I can't help but think of all the sarcastic answers I would give the so-called manager with a slight grin on my face. Seriously, I think this list is a potent illustration of modern management bullcrap. Come on guys, don't do this to your team, they are not children...

saagarjha 7y ago
What kind of questions would you ask?
- yankit 7y ago
  I especially like these 2: - what we as a company doing wrong? - name 10 things which can kill our business?
KingOfCoders 7y ago
What question in particular do you find not appropriate?
- dijit 7y ago
  “What did you want to be when you grow up” feels a bit out of touch.
  - KingOfCoders 7y ago
    Yes might be, and I would agree. Although it could be a great opener for finding out what the person wants. I have often found it the hardest thing to help find out what the person I had 1on1s with wanted to become (or not, e.g. a manager). Sometimes people have a clear vision, sometimes it took a year. Everyone was happier though.
  - yankit 7y ago
    I guess it depends on what kind of connection you have with your manager. I saw managers who would rather fire people if they feel they would be happier ion another place.

m_b 7y ago

Can someone point to me the goal of using NodeJs to produce a list like this? Why not just modifying the .md file directly?

febeling 7y ago
Looks like the questions are actually collected in machine readable form in a JSON file, and only rendered to Markdown
- johannes1234321 7y ago
  Now if there were just a markup language for adding smeantic meaning to hypertext ...
rgoulter 7y ago
I suspect the dev wanted to make the list available in a readable format (markdown) but also have it on a website elsewhere. TBH since the markdown is in a simple format of "# <category>" + "- <question>", having the JSON seems redundant over just reading in the markdown.

awakeasleep 7y ago

Many of these will come off as frustrating and manipulative. When I, a manager, ask “what is the biggest obstacle facing you and how can i remove it,” I’m offloading the manager-level work of identifying blockers for my team on the individual. And hey, that might work, your teammate might have an insight you’re missing. But then, if they do have that insight, you’ve volunteered to do a shitload of work for your team. Thats is, in theory, good- but ive never had a manager that was willing to actually do the work when they asked the questions on this list. They'd squirm out of their offer, and try to rephrase it as something i could do. Leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

NikolaNovak 7y ago
>>When I, a manager, ask “what is the biggest obstacle facing you and how can i remove it,” I’m offloading the manager-level work of identifying blockers for my team on the individual. That gets a bit circular. In my mind, "asking my team members" is THE number one method of "identifying blockers for my team". Think about it - if a manager didn't ask for input from their team members, and instead assumed they can identify blockers, on their own and in vacuum, how would we portray such a manager? :-) >> ive never had a manager that was willing to actually do the work when they asked the questions on this list That is indeed the crucial second part; works for anything though - whether it's "lessons learned" at the end of the project, or "requirements gathering" from the client/user-base, or "soliciting feedback" from team members - obtaining information is critical #1 step; only useful if you then action it. Just because both effective and ineffective, willing and unwilling managers ask questions, doesn't make questions themselves bad. It does depend on the actual manager and the relationship they have with a team member. So I'd say such questions are "necessary but not sufficient" criteria for managerial success, and having a list is similarly "useful but not sufficient" :)
- yankit 7y ago
  I agree, not only these kinds of questions we should ask, but also we should have data and objective results. Adding data and caring about people personally make the best managers I've ever seen.
- 7y ago

yitchelle 7y ago

A great one-on-one begins with good questions. This post gives some great hints. https://marcgg.com/blog/2019/11/30/one-on-one-openers/ https://marcgg.com/blog/2019/11/30/one-on-one-openers/

PragmaticPulp 7y ago

The best 1-on-1 meetings feel like a natural conversation between two professional adults. This list of questions can provide some ideas for starting points if you pick and choose carefully, but not all of the questions are a good idea. Specifically: While it's important to listen to your employee's complaints about the company, it's equally important to avoid giving them the wrong impression that you're going to fix everything for them. Questions like "If you were CEO, what's the first thing you would change?" or "Are there any aspects of our culture you wish you could change?" or "What’s the No. 1 problem with our organization, and what do you think's causing it?" can make employees resentful of the company when the manager can't actually make changes. Many of these questions can also create a false expectation that it's the manager's job to solve all of the employees' problems for them. It's important to listen to your team and work to improve their situations, but it's equally important that you work on empowering them to solve their own problems where possible. A common mistake for first time managers is to try to absorb every small issue their team encounters, which creates an unsustainable atmosphere of dependency on the manager. Another common mistake of first-time managers is forgetting that managers must also represent the company to the employee. As a first time manager, it's tempting to think you're going to be the super manager you never had, using your powers to fight back against the company and make everything right for your employees. In reality, you need to balance the employee's wishes against the company's direction. You can't force the tail to wag the dog. Make sure you communicate what is and isn't within your power to change. Avoid commiserating with employees with employees about minutia, and instead set a tone of professionalism and reasonable boundary-setting. Most importantly: Don't forget to reiterate the organization's goals, project updates, and other company information to employees. It's easy for managers to forget that their employees might not see or hear important developments unless their manager communicates it down the chain. As a manager, it's your job to keep your employees informed and up to date. Simple updates in the form of "Your work on X project is very important for the delivery of Y product, which the CEO identified as our top priority for retaining customers" are much more effective than "When do you think X project will be finished? We really need it." Context and relevance are critical for helping your team make the right decisions.

TeMPOraL 7y ago
Agreed, with perhaps a small wish of my own: > Simple updates in the form of "Your work on X project is very important for the delivery of Y product, which the CEO identified as our top priority for retaining customers" If, as a manager, you don't want me, your employee, to just smile politely and roll my eyes, make sure I can trust that when you say "top priority", then it's actually a top priority. Personally, I work better when I can identify and align myself with the goals of the organization (I'm a sucker for the "something greater"). But I hate the bullshit. "Your work on X is critical" is demotivating if I can tell that all work is described as "critical", and every project in the company is "top priority".

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rcarmo 7y ago

I looked at these and had immediate flashbacks of Eliza. Given the recent (hopefully by now tempered) enthusiasm for chatbots, this might be a great starting point for one...

kreetx 7y ago

I don't understand the negative attitudes here. Yes, a 1-on-1 should be a normal conversation, but this is a great starting point to those who don't have the experience yet!

yankit 7y ago
What kind of questions and data do you prepare for your 1-on-1s?
- rwilson4 7y ago
  My 1:1s have the following format: - Current tasks - Career development/Goals (we have 6 week and yearly goals that the employees select for themselves with a little guidance from me) - Special topic, different each time and very much aligned with the posted list. My question for next time is about values. - Feedback, both delivering and soliciting (this has proven to be the hardest for me, as it takes time to think about and articulate feedback well) I do the 1:1 at a nearby coffee shop since I think people feel more open outside the office.
  - dehrmann 7y ago
    It's also important to talk about relationships with others on the team and other teams.
    - rwilson4 7y ago
      I like that! I’ll think about how I could incorporate it. Thanks!
- jariel 7y ago
  You don't need to have anything to prepare whatsoever. It's an opportunity to talk about whatever is pressing, broader issues etc.. It's really odd to see the level of dissection going in here as to how to have a conversation about what's going on. Surely, there can be good practices, and some things to systematically bring up, but this is not rocket science.

ratherbefuddled 7y ago

Contrived wooden questions like these would be a solid reason to not work for a manager. If someone isn't able to empathise with other humans well enough to discover how they're doing without trying to artificially manipulate a conversation with a checklist, they certainly shouldn't be managing anybody. Just talk. Do it often and do it honestly. That's all.

rwilson4 7y ago
I treat them as prompts. I’ll give my team as much fore notice as possible what the topic will be and ask them to really think about the question in advance. Otherwise the conversations are often shallow. My team often writes out their thoughts and we go through it, it’s been pretty successful I think!
- lonelappde 7y ago
  That's giving them extra homework and stress on top of worrying about deliverables and the problems they already care about.
  - rwilson4 7y ago
    That may be their perspective, true! But if so I would consider that a red flag indicating burn out. Why are they so worried about deliverables? Do they feel the timelines are too aggressive? Are they really so overloaded they can’t take 20 minutes to think about their work from a different perspective? What other problems do they care about? As a manager I need to tease out these things. But each team is unique; what works for my team might not work for yours! In 4 years of doing 1:1s this way, at different companies and with dozens of teammates, I have received mostly positive feedback. And I’ve definitely adapted the process to address concerns. But again, every person has their own individual needs and preferences.
  - rwilson4 7y ago
    Also, if you don’t mind me asking, what kind of support from your manager would be helpful in this situation?

skizm 7y ago

As a grunt IC 1 on 1s are a nightmare for me. I never know what to talk about. All current project stuff is hashed out in or after scrum. Career development is more of a once per year thing (at least not weekly). If I had a problem with any of my team members I would have brought it up by now (assuming I thought others felt that way, I don't want to be the only one to bring it up or I'll be seen as the problem). For your feedback, I'm just going to tell you whatever I think you want to hear. Am I happy? Not really, but more because I'm stuck with a 9-5 for the next decade and obviously I'd never tell a manager that... what's left? Personal life nonsense? I'm your co-worker, not your friend. The less I know about other people's personal lives the better. > I’m trying to make my 1-on-1s better and would appreciate your honest feedback on this one — what did you like about it, and what could be improved? Make them optional or email me your canned questions so I don't have to squirm trying to think of an answer on the spot that will keep the status quo and get me out of the meeting without any "action items" for the next one.

VectorLock 7y ago
I appreciate the "You need code, I need to eat" mentality but I don't think managers/managed need to treat each other with a total cold clinical demeanor. You might just be there to work, but treating each other like people makes you hate going into work just a little bit less. People might not want to be too close to people in case they need to get rid of them. I think being a good coach means loving your team but still being strong enough to make the hard decisions. At least it lets you make those hard decisions from a place of humanity.
hnrodey 7y ago
tbh (without knowing anything else about you, maybe caught you at a bad moment) this attitude is going to stunt your career development and growth more than you can possibly imagine. Are you wrong with any of this? Not at all. But letting it drip over in to impacting the quality of your relationships is detrimental to yourself and everyone around you. It's also disrespecting the contributions you make to the team, project and company. You're more than just a warm body pressing buttons. Good luck mate, wish you the best.

RotaryTelephone 7y ago

My 1on1's at a 100k+ international corporation always went like this: Manager: so how's it going? Me: great Manager: any issues? anything you want to discuss? Me: everything is fantastic! I'm very happy with my job :D Manager: cool cool... well let's do this again next month. Me: yay! I don't want someone in a similar situation like I was to get inspired by lists like these and go into their next 1on1 wrecking havoc with the status quo. When you, your manager, his manager and the next guy up are just cogs in a machine churning for years through the same kinds of faceless conglomerates - you either shut up and put up or end up on someone's Excel spreadsheet highlighted in yellow. Then during the next round of layoffs (you know they're coming) the yellow cogs will be replaced with fresh green ones and you'll be out on the street cramming algorithm questions all over again and interviewing with A.I. HR filters for the next 6months. Understand where you work before opening your mouth, people ;)

mcv 7y ago
I see it as part of my job to do my part to improve the work environment. That includes identifying and addressing problems when I see them. The people who should be laid off are the people who create the problems, not the ones who identify the problems and want to fix them. A good employer knows this, and will appreciate people who want to improve the company. If they fire me for speaking up, then good riddance. I'm probably better off somewhere else.
BoorishBears 7y ago
Some people have already optimized their careers never to work at a place like this. I don't think it's even that hard to avoid.
divbzero 7y ago
Agreed with parent to take 1 on 1’s lightly as just an avenue of conversation. If there is an adjustment you’d like to see, try to suggest it constructively and you don’t have to wait for a 1 on 1 to do so. That said, the “big list” here is directed towards managers and, for a manager, picking out one of these questions now and then as a conversation starter could uncover issues or opportunities that you could address early and make someone just a little happier at work.

stared 7y ago

For my taste, "Are you on track to meet the deadline?" is an intense discussion starter, as strong as a punch.

jakemal 7y ago
I think it depends on what the consequences are for missing a deadline.
lexicality 7y ago
I think that depends entirely on _when_ the question is asked. If you get asked "Are you on track to meet the deadline" 50% of the way through the scheduled time then it should be a) An opportunity to reflect on your progress b) A chance to ask for help if needed Of course, if a shitty manager asks you that 3 hours before the deadline then ha ha ha good luck
- stared 7y ago
  Well, it is an important question, when talking with a manager. But I find it to be of a totally different caliber than "Hey, what’s going on?" or "How are you? How is life outside of work?". Vide asking "How was your last medical checkup?" in a personal conversation. Well, if it is good or OK-ish, it may be fine. In all other cases, it may turn a conversation into much more emotionally instense and sterssfull.
  - lexicality 7y ago
    I honestly think that is a reflection of the kind of management your company promotes. In previous places I've worked, "are you on schedule?" would be an implicit attack - but in my current workplace checking in on people and making sure they're not silently struggling is a regular and casual thing.

different_sort 7y ago

Thank you for sharing this. I'm a strong technologist who has inherited people management responsibilities for some junior technologists and I definitely consider people management to be the thing that I suck the most at in worklife.

yankit 7y ago
I think this is what happens to a big portion of devs after promotion to management. Do you have any advices for people in your situation?

throwawaygo 7y ago

When did 1:1's become manager interrogation sessions? What happened to just connecting and providing space to talk about whatever is on the emp's mind?

yankit 7y ago
Good point - in my opinion, 1:1 is for employee, not for manager.
jevanish 7y ago
A lot of employees either A) don't know what to talk about or B) aren't sure what their current manager considers safe topics. Questions like the above (though not all of them) can help spark discussion and get them to open up. I've personally seen a number of times where team members have a lot to say about something and didn't realize I wanted to hear their ideas on that topic. Obviously, delivery matters, and choosing a good question is important. If you have a foundation of trust already built (see Psychological Safety research) then a lot of those questions can help.

yankit 7y ago

Can someone recommend tools, hacks or techniques they use to run a perfect one-on-one meeting (tools like https://PullPanda.com https://PullPanda.com, https://Gitalytics.com https://Gitalytics.com or https://valycs.com https://valycs.com)?

aaron-santos 7y ago
I'd recommend Manager Tools. They have a whole set of resources for 1 on 1s. https://www.manager-tools.com/map-universe/one-ones https://www.manager-tools.com/map-universe/one-ones
jevanish 7y ago
Getlighthouse.com can help you run your 1 on 1s and access questions like these with your notes.
deleted 7y ago
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abhi426 7y ago
You can try peoplebox(https://www.peoplebox.ai/ https://www.peoplebox.ai/) to run meaningful 1-on-1s. It integrates with your calendars so before every 1-on-1, it sends some pre one-on-one questions to your reports and suggestive talking points. You can collaborate on agendas, action items and track them all in one place.

A_No_Name_Mouse 7y ago

Am I the only one who scrolled down the whole list looking for the questions and issues you can bring up as a coworker? On the 1-on-1's I have with my manager I determine most of the agenda because I know where the gears need lubrication. How would she know if I don't tell her? I'm a professional and I don't need a boss who tells me what to do or how to do it: that part I'll find out by myself. But my manager needs to know what I'm doing and what issues I could use help with (like problems that need attention of upper management) and occasionally I'll ask for backing for a decision that might have consequences for our or other teams. So this feels like a useful but very lopsided list.

yankit 7y ago
How do you make sure you do your best work without proper feedback?
- A_No_Name_Mouse 7y ago
  Not sure I understand your question. I will tell my manager what I'm doing. If she likes me to do different things (or the same things differently) the 1-on-1's are the best moment to talk about that. That's how I get feedback.

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betaby 7y ago

We have mandatory 1:1 and yes, questions are similar. I found them useless and not productive at all. Most hypocritical ones are about carrier development. Let's say 1:10 ration of the managers and deportees, not matter how you 'develop' there is simply no place for promotion. Technical track is rather rare outside of FAANG.

anonred 7y ago

Questions aside, I honestly thought the steps to submit a new question was satire... Contributing 1. Fork it 2. Run npm install 3. Add your resource to questions.json 4. Run node index to update README.md with your changes 5. Create your feature branch (git checkout -b my-new-feature) 6. Commit your changes (git commit -am "Add some feature") 7. Push to the branch (git push origin my-new-feature) 8. Create new Pull Request https://github.com/VGraupera/1on1-questions#contributing https://github.com/VGraupera/1on1-questions#contributing

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BossingAround 7y ago
> I honestly thought the steps to submit a new question was satire... I know, right? No Kubernetes deployment configs to check whether it builds and runs as a micro-service in the cloud? Pff!
noobermin 7y ago
I visibly grimaced when I saw this. This is straight up ridiculous.
JMTQp8lwXL 7y ago
If they ever make a website for the collected data, consuming JSON is less brittle than parsing a README file.
- daeken 7y ago
  It's Markdown, not just "a README file". It's designed to be easy to edit by hand and easy to parse; there's literally nothing at all gained by using the JSON file that they have. At all.
  - JMTQp8lwXL 7y ago
    You'd be more likely to have a bug parsing the markdown file than the structured JSON. There aren't many tools out there for converting markdown files into JSON and piecing what you want out of it.

devmunchies 7y ago

Speaking of career progression and management... has anyone here been able to transition from an IC to management/leadership at a remote company? Remote work feels like the ideal job when your happy with your position long-term. I don’t know how to do it working remote.

kureikain 7y ago

Have people really save the thing like "I stuck because of this of that..." for 1-1 questions. Arn't you suppose to raise awareness among your team before that point, ask for help from co-worker etc... I just cannot understand how a technical block is saved for 1-1 meeting. I would love 1-1 meeting is more about: - personal life: where thing that block you are person/family duty and manager can help with your schedule such as flexibility of wfh. - vision/long term goal: some wish list you want to implement or improvement. But even so, I already created google doc for these and 1-1 are just to discuss more about them. So when 1-1 happen too frequently, I'm out of question and feel stress and don't know what to ask/talk. Any advice for people like me? Some of question on this list is just bad because they cannot be asked more than one. Example: "How do you prefer to receive feedback?"

seattle_spring 7y ago

It's disappointing that 100% of the questions are from the perspective of the manager.

abbadadda 7y ago
Agreed! Was looking forward to some questions from the employee perspective. I find constructive criticism and feedback to be very helpful in staying on track.

vermooten 7y ago

"Are you on track to meet the deadline?" is the worst 121 opener, I can't think why it's on the list. Unless you're an old-skool command-and-control type of course.

wiz21c 7y ago

>> Are you on track to meet the deadline? So wrong if not put the right way... I'd prefer : I see you're struggling, maybe we could make your life easier by removing some work, accepting the quality to be a little less good, maybe we could just accept that some things will be late... I usually get :you're late, tell me why. Then I explain. Then my manger says : "I don't understand"... Then I fail to explain the obvious : I'm f*in overloaded.

huhtenberg 7y ago

> How are your parents/grandparents? "Grandparents are dead. Parents are divorced. Father is a roaring alcoholic, mother is on a death bed with cancer. Also they are both A-grade assholes that made my childhood miserable." Really sets the mood for the rest of the interview, doesn't it? In other words, stay the hell away from any personal questions.

aspaceman 7y ago
Yup. “They’re all dead.” Doesn’t set a great tone for a friendly conversation. Nowadays I use euphemisms like “they’re out of the picture” and pray they’re not curious.
- andai 7y ago
  They've been moved to the cloud.
Forge36 7y ago
Thank you for your honesty. It sounds like you aren't close with them. There is nothing wrong with that. Do you have anyone you are close with to talk about things? Is there anything going on in your personal life you need to deal with which may be impacting your work? IE: I care about more than just the work you do, I care about you. I'd like you to be happy and know more about your life to ensure when you turn into an ass I can justify the behavior and dismiss it. "His dad died recently. His dog died this week. People have been taking at him due to projects being behind and he was on vacation the week all hell broke lose retiring his involvement" Shit happens, if you're looking for happy things from your employees don't ask them these questions. If your quote is truly what's happening in your life, I'm sorry. That sounds miserable, in posting here: I can't tell why you shared that. If I was your manager, is this a recent development and you need time to process? If not what prompted you to be so honest with me? Is there anything else you'd like to share?
- sabas123 7y ago
  > If your quote is truly what's happening in your life, I'm sorry. That sounds miserable, in posting here: I can't tell why you shared that. If I was your manager, is this a recent development and you need time to process? If not what prompted you to be so honest with me? Is there anything else you'd like to share? Do you always expect us to lie or spend emotional energy on making it sound happy? Real shit happens and if you ask something personal like about family, don't pretend to be stupid and think this doesn't happen.

yankit 7y ago

I've just made this - https://1on1hacker.com/ https://1on1hacker.com/. It shows questions from the list in random order.

syspec 7y ago

My favorite conversation starter for work related or at social events is: ”So, what’s keeping you busy these day’s?” People always have things keeping them busy, work project, home project, personal project. This question is much more inviting to conversation than “how is it going” or “what’s new” I have never asked this question and received “nothing” in response

KKKKkkkk1 7y ago

I would say that a manager who brings up personal questions in 1:1s is leveraging their power to cross boundaries. In my mind it's akin to harassment.

throwaway0217 7y ago
So much this. I don't have kids. We are struggling with fertility issues. In my 1:1 my ex-manager would bring up that topic EVERY SINGLE WEEK. He also tried to develop a family relationship, where his wife would 'advise' my wife about what type of treatment we should seek. At one baby shower for a common friend, his wife asked me if we are sad seeing other people having babies. Being on H1 visa, I could only push back so much. From his perspective, he was providing 'emotional support'. I sucked up. And quit the job when the right opportunity came. Since then, I made sure to not bring any personal stuff in conversation with any colleague, including my manager for whatever reason.

m0zg 7y ago

Not once in my 25 year career did I work with a manager who gave 1/100th as much shit as this list would require. They may exist, but I've never seen one. I strongly suspect that the author of the list hasn't either, and this is a highly idealized, "spherical cow in a vacuum" type list.

ClearAndPresent 7y ago

Do you feel you’re getting enough feedback? Why/why not? Feedback. Do you have any feedback for me? Feedback. Do you think that you receive enough feedback? Feeback. Is feedback helpful for your personal development? Feedback. What can I do to help you get the feedback you want? Feedback. All replicants will be detected.

magicroot75 7y ago

I'd much rather see a list of things to bring up as the subordinate that will actually effectively improve one's lot.

muratk 7y ago

Looking at the responses here … it's not about “1:1s are basics, if you don't do them you are a failed manager.” Nor do I believe the truth is best described as: “a 1:1 is a creepy corporate checkbox to be checked and best avoided”. Isn't the answer always … it depends? On the person, on the company and team? On you, as a manager? I have had colleagues who probably would have sent me a resignation letter within days after doing a 1:1 with canned questions like that. I've also had colleagues who thought that a regular 1:1, going through the motions, was a sign that I cared and did something formal for them. (Despite normal chats and checkins.) Even if you have a 1:1, it doesn't mean that you need to go through an ever same set of stale questions. But structure can help you both to make sure the basics of the work relationship are covered. With that in mind, I see sets of questions such as this as a toolbox. Sometimes it's a good thing you can just look at the toolbox, try a few tools out, see how they fit and choose the right one for the job at hand (situation, person). I think it's great those exist. If you're doing a 1:1 to check a box, then it doesn't matter. If you care and want to use a 1:1 as a tool, then it doesn't hurt to try out different approaches.

epicgiga 7y ago

My 1:1s with last boss I had went like: "how are things..." "good" "1:1 complete". And that was on Slack. The guy just hated them, so that was my idea and made him happy. And I don't disagree with that. Sticking rigidly to one true cadence of one true meeting is a religious ritual we can do without. If a 1:1 adds anything to your team, it indicates defects. Everyone should be raising issues as they come up and have a close enough working relationship with their boss that a cyclical meeting adds nothing. And most of those questions are weak: bosses annoy and lose respect of their subordinates when they go all "facilitator" and "servant leader". A leader guides, they don't ask subordinates to tell them how to do their jobs. There are plenty of traditional ways to glean improvement information than appearing weak by asking "how can I be a better boss".

learnstats2 7y ago

"Are there any obstacles I can remove for you?" is a poor first question. If you (as a manager) haven't spent time figuring that out before the meeting, then you haven't done your share of the work. You'll be wasting your staff's time and energy in awkward 1-1 meetings. "How is it going with [obstacle that has already been identified]?" is what I would expect a vaguely competent manager to say in place of this.

kovacs_x 7y ago

imo 'development discussions' is wrong as it creates apparent power hierarchy in the company and very often does more harm then good. having a mentor and doing regular self reflection is the way to go.

chadlavi 7y ago

Title's a bit unclear, these are manager questions for 1-on-1 meetings. Would be interesting to see a similar list for questions you should keep in mind as the direct report in a 1-on-1.

fixie 7y ago
Looks like there are career development questions in the section below the manager questions. https://github.com/VGraupera/1on1-questions#career-development https://github.com/VGraupera/1on1-questions#career-developme...

jshowa3 7y ago

This would be one long, wasteful meeting if I asked all these questions.

blahfuk 7y ago

The meeting so useful, you have to crowdsource the agenda!

zisermann 7y ago

Managers and team leads in my company have to make 1-on-1 meeting with their team mates every month on an published calendar schedule. We have made everything possible to help them: learning materials, master-classes, QA sessions, etc. At the beginning, they were anxious that these meetings look like getting into one’s personal zone and they didn’t known what to talk about and how to get rid of embarrassment. Now they say that they are amazed how much information people are willing to share to find support and solve common problems in work, which managers have no ideas about. I’m one of those who thinks that 1-on-1 meeting is a great tool to make workplace better. Surely, everyone has to understand its goal.