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Starting conversations with strangers. Squat and deadlift. Eating healthier. Doing something kind for someone else every day. Honesty. Listening to people
by kerkeslager 7y ago
Starting conversations with strangers.
Squat and deadlift.
Eating healthier.
Doing something kind for someone else every day.
Honesty.
Listening to people you disagree with.
Driving safer (this is the most dangerous thing we do on a regular basis).
Meditation.
- heinrichhartman 7y agodeadlift's are quite dangerous for the untrained. Start with "Fix Rounded Shoulders" and "Fix Anterior Pelvic Tilt" if you have not already done so. Plenty of great advice on YouTube on those topics.
- dangus 7y agoThat’s why I’d say to get trained. Trainers are worth the money. There are also more economical options like small group training classes.
- Dumblydorr 7y agoI train deadlifts by using the lightest possible weights and doing 2 sets of practice reps. Focus on keeping the spine stable, use legs to push the weight up. Don't add weight until you video record yourself and ensure your back and hips are on point. Back needs to not bend, and hips need to thrust forward, bar path vertical, close to the body as that's our center of mass. Ensure your sternum stays on the same plane as your stomach and neck, keep the upper back from rounding.
- davedx 7y agoIf you're starting out doing deadlifts then I'm almost certain you're at a gym where there's someone experienced enough to show you how to do a deadlift.
- texasbigdata 7y agoEven then not necessarily sufficient. Source: worked with a trainer on this for months after pulling my back at a crossfit years earlier and still having lingering effects. Sitting a ton creates, or can create, large hip inflexibility, tight hamstrings, etc. If budget and space isn't a material constraint, get a hexbar... it will lessen some of the impact on your back. Deadlifting (and squatting) is arguably the most important full body exercise you can do, and the staple of every single marvel super hero body transformation, but the risk threshold is fairly high for a beginner. If you want to stretch, try ROMWOD. A bit intense but likely the most impactful in terms of results.
- ramblerman 7y agoTo be fair, crossfit for the uninitiated is always a bad idea. Doing movements like deadlifts for reps (when fatigued!!) is a recipe for disaster.
- brodouevencode 7y agoNot to mention most boxes do a piss-poor job of teaching form to begin with.
- galangalalgol 7y agoSitting tightens the calves too, especially if put your heels on the chair legs to prop them higher. Zero drop shoes, lowering every chair as much as possible, sitting on even lower things, and the "third world squat" all help. I saw my daughter squatting that way and it made me look it up. Adults should be able to do it too. Squatting desks are great. Also, dont do your introduction to CrossFit at a competitive box. Or don't do it at all and do something like starting strength or stronglifts.
- brodouevencode 7y agoThere's a lot of back and forth in this thread about deadlifts "being the devil", so I'm glad you brought up flexibility. ROM gets more important the older you get. If you're a washed-up meathead (like myself) working on flexibility makes it easier to get out of the bed in the morning and some mornings it makes it _possible_ to get out of bed. Doing yoga (yeah, I know) has fixed my hip flexor issues and got my lower body lifts to near PR levels again.
- moltar 7y agoWatch Mark Rippetoe videos on YouTube. He has excellent, science-backed explanations for all major movements. Also quite a character.
- tasubotadas 7y agoI've read his book (now a decade ago?) and I am amazed how people get squats wrong.
- raverbashing 7y agoThey do? Rippletoe teaches low-bar squats (because of reasons), most people do high-bar squats.
- throwaway55554 7y ago> deadlift's are quite dangerous for the untrained. Isn't that part of "acquiring" the skill; learning to do it?
- hombre_fatal 7y agoYeah, it seems weird to always couch squats/deadlifts in the disclaimer of "if trained / done correctly" and then get defensive when people point out that they are dangerous.
- tootie 7y agoOne of my favorite web 1.0 sites that's still kicking it old school: https://exrx.net/ https://exrx.net/ Detailed workout guides and clear, simple visuals of proper form on hundreds of exercises.
- rchaud 7y agoGood to know it's still around. I remember going to this site a lot around 2009-10.
- smyth 7y agoI echo what others have said about a real trainer. If you can find a gym specializing in powerlifting or olympic, it’s not a big deal.
- kerkeslager 7y ago> deadlift's are quite dangerous for the untrained. It's odd to me you picked deadlift to call out as dangerous. The deadlift is certainly dangerous, but only in the sense that almost any large lift is dangerous for the untrained. But in my experience, the deadlift is a very natural motion for me and most people who I've seen get into lifting heavy. Fixing people's natural instincts is usually just pointing out a few cues--if you look up deadlift workshops most are are only an hour long. And if you are lifting too much weight, you just drop it. The squat is a much more complicated motion: squat workshops are usaully full-day events, and the ways it breaks down tends to change as you add weight, so just getting the form is a long-term process. It's also a more dangerous lift if you have too much weight because you're under the bar.
- rriepe 7y agoI've seen people confuse clean and jerks with deadlifts. Maybe that's what's happening here? The biggest deadlift injury I've seen is scraped shins. It's hard to injure yourself without straps.
- kerkeslager 7y agoWell... the two common issues I see are: 1. Hunching your back. This can cause slipped discs and some muscle issues. 2. Trying to controlled-lower the bar to the ground. Contrary to the policies of a lot of gyms, you should get to the top of your deadlift and basically drop: you might keep your hands on it to keep it from rolling away after it reaches the ground, but you definitely don't want to try to slow it down as you lower. If this is too loud for you, use bumper plates or a deadlift platform. This is pretty much guaranteed to cause you severe soreness and tightness as you go up in weight, which will likely clue you in that you are doing something wrong, but if you persist or jump right up to too high a weight, you can tear muscles or ligaments. Both of these can cause pretty serious long-term injuries. But they're also both pretty easy to fix.
- brodouevencode 7y agoAgreed. I would also add that mobility issues are a short-cut to injury. You have to have great mobility in your hip flexors, IT bands, and ankles in order to perform deadlifts well (as well as any other lower body movement). Sumo deadlifts are easy enough for a novice and are relatively lower impact. Form strictness is less of an issue for most people with these, and are a good starting point for deads.
- raverbashing 7y agoThey are not "quite dangerous", they're safe if you can follow the form correctly Yes, they're not really a beginner exercise > "Fix Rounded Shoulders" and "Fix Anterior Pelvic Tilt" Build strength bit by bit instead of follow every Athlean-X nitpick ;)
- MFLoon 7y ago> deadlift's are quite dangerous for the untrained. This is just false. Sure, the untrained should get some instruction on proper form, and start with manageable weights, as with any exercise. But deadlifting is the least dangerous of the power lifts, and far less dangerous than half the activities in the average WOD. > Start with "Fix Rounded Shoulders" and "Fix Anterior Pelvic Tilt" Definitely don't. These are non-scientific maladies invented by fitness personalities to convince you to pay for their specialized expertise to fix your particular biomechanical imperfections. You don't need perfect posture as a prerequisite to benefiting from deadlifting, or any kind of exercise. If you're physically capable of doing the movement, even if your version of the movement is imperfect and not adhering to the mechanical ideal, you're able to benefit from it.
- deepGem 7y agoI will add Kettlebell swings to Squat and deadlift. They are one of the best all round exercise for muscle development particularly around the lower back and for cardio as well. In fact, I haven't come across a full body muscle building and cardio exercise that can match Kettlebell swings.
- michaelbrooks 7y agoBurpees are one of the best movements for all-around muscle development and the best thing is you don't need any weights. If you can perform a full burpee (from standing to the floor) then the benefits are huge. You can also scale and go from standing to plank position or use a swimming pool (stand in the pool near the edge, jump onto the ledge and then back into the pool and go into squat position underwater).
- danenania 7y agoApart from the cardio, is there added strength value to doing burpees specifically instead of squats and push ups separately?
- komali2 7y agoYour strength will never go up that much until you force more resistance into the picture, either via bands or weights. You will be getting a shitload of hypertrophy with all this bodyweight exercising though so you'll look shredded if your body fat is low.
- tashoecraft 7y agoNot fully true, body weight can make you gain lots of muscle, but you do need to add resistance. However, resistance doesn’t need to be weight or bands, but do a more difficult version of the exercise. Push ups are easy for you? Do planche pushups or diamond pushups. Squats easy for you? Try pistol squats.
- 7y ago
- AstralStorm 7y agoHonesty is not a skill, lying successfully is. Neither is kindness. (And forced kindness can be patronizing.)
- jmvoodoo 7y agoI think honesty is a skill by the dictionary definition as you can certainly do honesty badly, and learning to do it well is difficult and requires study and practice. It's also worth learning how to do well.
- brlewis 7y ago> Honesty is not a skill, lying successfully is. I can see why you would think this. Lying successfully ultimately takes more work than being honest. Being honest is like swinging a golf club or tennis racket correctly. It feels awkward and unnatural at first, but eventually gets easier. Honesty definitely is a skill, though.
- kthejoker2 7y agoMaybe "radical candor" instead.of honesty? Or maybe specifically giving honest feedback to others.
- muzani 7y agoIt's a habit. Personally, I think lying takes up way too much mental space. It's sort of like driving with the seat belt unbuckled; just makes me anxious. It's a skill to be honest faster, and with less hesitation. The faster you can be honest, the more benefits you reap from it. Kindness is similar. You want to be kinder faster, with less hesitation. Otherwise, it will feel forced.
- kerkeslager 7y ago> Honesty is not a skill, lying successfully is. Nonsense. The skill of honesty is fighting your instinct to lie. If you actually try to always be honest, you'll discover that it's not as easy as you are claiming. > Neither is kindness. (And forced kindness can be patronizing.) Well, let me ask you, when you decided to leave a comment, did you make that decision with kindness in mind? :)
- miganga 7y agoLearn to accept death and read the myth of sysphus if you haven't read.
- phowat 7y agoFrom this list, the thing I struggle most with is conversations with strangers. Any suggestions on how to improve that?
- orbz 7y ago- Meetups with like-minded individuals - Board game/trivia group at your local bar - Join Toastmasters
- brlewis 7y agoToastmasters helped me with conversation a lot. Especially the "table topics" part of the meeting. Highly recommended.
- NortySpock 7y agoSeconding Toastmasters, great excuse to meet people at work outside of your department.
- LaGrange 7y agoI like this answer because it starts with finding a setting that the other strangers chose likely to meet some strangers, instead of finding ways to lock some random person in a conversation. It's the first sign of basic respect that can, in my eye, excuse _a lot_ of awkwardness.
- hluska 7y agoHere’s a neat trick. When you’re at a party, meetup or other social event, don’t approach people standing alone. Instead, approach people in groups of two, say hello (or give a quick little glass tink ‘cheers’) and introduce yourself. A large large amount of the time, one of those two people want OUT of the conversation and you’ll be that out. That’s a great low risk drill to get started. It’s low risk because it works and you’re in an environment where respectful interruptions like that are acceptable. Good luck and if you get stuck, feel free to reach out.
- 7y ago
- ak39 7y ago“Honesty” a skill?
- aratakareigen 7y agoFor many lying is already a deeply ingrained habit, and for them honesty will take practice.
- rootusrootus 7y agoHonesty with tact certainly is.
- LaGrange 7y agoKinda. It's easy to just say whatever comes to your mind. Actual honesty requires introspection and self-criticism, learning honesty _to yourself_, if you will.
- jlokier 7y agoHonesty is multi-layered and difficult. It is the art of conveying truth, or at least your truth. But how can you convey truth if you don't really understand it? And how can you convey truth even if you understand it, if you don't understand what the listener understands when you speak of it? It's not enough to use "correct" words, if they won't be understood. That's not honesty. That's how clever people take advantage; which is not honesty. In these terms, I've never met anyone who seems like they could be entirely honest, even if they wanted to be. But they can learn how to convey something closer to truth with practice and introspection and learning from others; so I'd say it's a skill. I've met people who say they are honest, but a few minutes listening and from the inconsistent thinking it is apparent they are not even able to be honest within their own thoughts to themselves. This is not a criticism because I think it applies to everyone, including myself. I think it's just part of the human condition. To say a person is honest, then, is to say they desire to be honest; that their heart is in it, that they wish to convey truth and not to decieve, or even to risk misunderstandings, no matter who is listening. As noble as it is to desire this, it is quite something to master the art of doing so regularly and reliably.
- kerkeslager 7y ago
- dsego 7y agoI would never recommend deadlifts. Those are really dangerous and easy to do wrong. My friend shattered his spine doing deadlifts and needed surgery and months of recovery and he still can't bend down or sit in certain positions.
- shartshooter 7y agoThis is wrong. Deadlifts can be as safe as any other exercise if done properly. Find a coach, practice, maintain form and take your time.
- victords 7y agoI don’t think this goes directly against the parent comment. They aren’t inherently dangerous, but they’re really easy to do wrong and cause a lot of damage.
- kerkeslager 7y agoThe parent comment said "I would never recommend deadlifts."
- metadaemon 7y agoBased on what I've seen in the gym there should absolutely be a disclaimer for deadlifts.
- Normal_gaussian 7y agoTo be somewhat insensitive; it sounds like he was doing it wrong. I'm recently on a kick to take my fitness more seriously; for me that means a three month stint with a personal trainer, bringing in a dietician soon, and planning on rounding out with a running coach. As a note, all of this isn't that expensive - its just coming out of most peoples holiday and expensive treat budgets. Doing it like this means you consult with real experts, who will tell you what you're doing wrong that you didn't think to ask about.
- 7y ago
- mesaframe 7y agoStarting conversations with strangers. But how? I have anxiety and it's really difficult to talk to strangers. Edit:I would also like to mention. I talk very less reason being whenever I tell people honestly about my feelings. Later or sooner they use it against me.
- ryanmercer 7y agoStart at work if you aren't remote "Hey I'm mesaframe over in department, what department are you in?" in the break room or hall (NEVER the bathroom if you are male, NEVER, please watch Male Restroom Etiquette to learn the ramifications of talking in the bathroom https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw ) Or if you stop for coffee some place regularly, eat some place regularly, etc ask someone that serves you regularly how their day is. For years I used White Castle for my socialization. I'd go in every Saturday and Sunday morning and order the same thing and would chat to the employees once I'd established myself as a regular. Similarly some friends and I had a Denny's waitress that we eventually followed to another location and then even to another restaurant chain as we were there so much at night that we became friends with her. It was super easy to for me to become friendly with a specific individual when I would see them over and over with small exposure doses.
- ibeckermayer 7y agoIt’s a skill and like any other skill it becomes less anxiety inducing the better you get at it. You could start with complete strangers at (say) a coffee shop, so that if you get embarrassed well it doesn’t matter, you’ll never see them again (this is how I improved). Also, learning how to be rejected and bail out is part of the skill. I still get into awkward situations sometimes, but it’s happened enough that I can cut the conversation off and the embarrassment doesn’t bother me all that much
- ai_ia 7y ago"Here, pick a card. Any Card. Don't let me see it."
- HatchedLake721 7y agoStart simple - ask people on the street what time it is. It’s a simple opener that should help you with your anxiety, and you’ll see nothing bad happens.
- JamesBarney 7y agoI don't know about squat and deadlift. I'm in my mid 30s and 20-40% of my friends who squat and deadlift had to stop because they injured their back in the last couple of years. All of them looked like they had great form and half had gone to a trainer as some point to make sure their form was good.
- kerkeslager 7y agoAny athletic pursuit is going to injure you eventually. Not pursuing any athletics is going to kill you and make the late years of your life frustrating a you lose capabilities. And you'll probably get injured as your body deteriorates. You choose.
- JamesBarney 7y agoSure, but there are ways to start active and keep your core, lower back, and legs strong that have lower injury rates than deadlifts and squats.
- kerkeslager 7y agoDo you have stats to back that up? I'm having trouble finding it, but the only study I've ever seen on the subject showed lifting as being fairly on par with other athletic activities. However, when it comes to results, squat and deadlift are way ahead in producing muscular and skeletal adaptation.
- asdff 7y agoI think a lot of people do these lifts with way too much weight, opting to play the stats game with the poundage while sometimes doing just two reps per set. More reps with less weight and it's a safer workout. Anything physical pushed to the limits will result in injury. Most people never get an injury casually playing pickup basketball. Then watch one season in the NBA, you'd probably see half a dozen ligaments snap on live TV. I don't think any NBA player has injured themselves from deadlift, because they know how to lift properly and are supervised by physical therapists during practice of course, but in the intensity of an NBA game this is no longer a controlled reaction taking place. Lifting heavy puts strain on a lot of variables at once, not unlike an all out NBA game.
- cgh 7y agoAll great suggestions that sound easy but are not. For the exercise part, I'd say deadlifts and overhead press.
- vga805 7y agobetter yet, squat presses and deadlifts
- brodouevencode 7y agoI see a lot of people shitting on deadlifts in this thread, but OHPs are way more risky. Great if you have great form and know your body, but still pretty damn risky.
- ricg 7y agoListening to people you disagree with. This. A follow-up suggestion: try to truly understand the motivation and concerns behind the other person's arguments. Useful tools are asking "Why?" multiple times to dig deeper. If the conversation seems to dead-end in a broad claim, ask "Can you give me a specific example of …? to continue your quest. This is especially useful (and interesting!) when talking about politics.
- someguy101010 7y agoTruthfully I dont think there is any reason for a regular person to deadlift. It's a pretty high risk exercise and you can hit those muscles groups with different exercises. If you are hard set on deadlifts though I recommend the hexbar deadlifts to reduce the chances for injury. https://youtu.be/TU2xZ7s4jus https://youtu.be/TU2xZ7s4jus
- eindiran 7y agoThe deadlift is one of the most well-rounded, important lifts out there. I don't understand what you mean by "regular people"; are you saying that only eg powerlifters should do deadlifts and that casual lifters should avoid it? IMO anyone interested in developing their strength (that is physically able to deadlift) should learn how to do them safely and then work on them. Rippetoe laying out how to do a deadlift: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwQQZCi6OHA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwQQZCi6OHA
- neixidbeksoxyd 7y agoI hear the argument that deadlifts are great if you have perfect form a lot. However, if you don't have perfect form they can be extremely dangerous. Very few other excercises have such high risks, and there are plenty that are just as good. A lot of people think they have great form but don't record themselves from the side so they don't notice how much their back is bending. On the other hand excercises like the pull up, push up, dumbbell press, row, dumbbell squat, etc are also very good with little potential for life threatening injuries even if you have bad form.
- eindiran 7y agoOf course form is very important. If your deadlifts are "extremely dangerous" and can potentially cause "life threatening injuries", then yes, take a good hard look at your form and work on improving it, staying away from heavy weights until you get there. But the idea that most people have form bad enough to seriously injure them isn't my experience at all. Deadlifts can be done safely, and having good form isn't some unattainable, Mt Olympus feat. I'll leave these here as I think they're both relevant to your point, in different ways: * https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgK6Y1j7ACA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgK6Y1j7ACA * https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhOQCwJvwlo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhOQCwJvwlo