7 ms·

When GoFundMe Gets Ugly

61 points by danso 7y ago

viking1992 7y ago
What's the ugly part? The article talks about successful and unsuccessful GoFundMe campaigns. Is the ugly part that some deplorables got millions from other deplorables? I deem the title click bait.
- HeWhoLurksLate 7y ago
  Agree, I do. I feel like the "White Savior Inferiority Complex" quote might explain a bit.
- danso 7y ago
  One of the "ugly" parts is how some things can go viral, and much more serious things don't at all, and it can feel like a bizarre system of faux meritocracy: > What’s wrong with you also influences whether you score big with medical crowdfunding, according to the University of Washington at Bothell medical anthropologist Nora Kenworthy and the media scholar Lauren Berliner, who have been studying the subject since 2013. Successful campaigns tend to focus on onetime fixes (a new prosthetic, say) rather than chronic, complicated diagnoses like Laila’s. Terminal cases and geriatric care are also tough to fundraise for, as are stigmatized conditions such as HIV and addiction- or obesity-related problems... > ...As Laila’s GoFundMe sputtered out, Richard grew to resent the people raising tens of thousands for sick pets. At his lowest moments, he wondered whether the campaign would have been more successful if Laila had been a cat. > Richard’s bitter feelings reminded me of something Berliner had observed when we spoke: “There’s a lot of secrecy and shame around the ones that don’t receive funding. If it’s a way to perform need, how must it feel to put yourself out there and not receive anything in return?” That society and human nature seems to pay more attention to quick fixes and happy surface story is "ugly", though that's something that has long been a facet of society well before GoFundMe.
- kraig911 7y ago
  It can get ugly. I did a gofundme to raise money for my daughter's stem cell treatment. Half my extended family doesn't talk to me anymore. I'm sorry I was short 20k in savings and couldn't figure it out on my own guys but I had to swallow my pride and do whatever it took.
  - danans 7y ago
    > I'm sorry I was short 20k in savings and couldn't figure it out on my own guys but I had to swallow my pride and do whatever it took. You did what you had to do given the realities, but I'm sorry and ashamed that as a society we put you in that position.
  - hkmurakami 7y ago
    Do they not talk to you because they gave you money? Or because somehow you bright the family shame for asking others for help? Or something else?
    - kraig911 7y ago
      They don't talk to me because to them I was begging for money.
      - EdwardDiego 7y ago
        I'm sorry to hear that mate, but I totally get where you're coming from - pride is nothing compared to your daughter's life.
      - Intermernet 7y ago
        For what it's worth, I think you did the right thing. I know I would have done the same thing in your place.
  - climb_stealth 7y ago
    That is horrible! Families can be really nasty like that. For whatever a random comment on the internet is worth, I believe you did the right thing. And people who put this above the life of your daughter are not worth associating with.
- EdwardDiego 7y ago
  Deplorables? Are we doing Hillary Clinton references or something? Hey, downvoters, it was a genuine question, if I've missed something, please let me know. The term deplorable is rather odd, and I can only recall it being used in in recent pop culture by Hillary Clinton wrt Trump supporters.
  - dodobirdlord 7y ago
    The term has entered the popular lexicon since the 2016 election and is commonly used to refer to the subset of Trump supporters who also broadly agree with his more odious statements.
stevespang 7y ago
“The White Savior Industrial Complex is not about justice,” Teju Cole wrote in 2012. “It is about having a big emotional experience that validates privilege.” You see this everywhere, like the wealthy people who sign up to feed the homeless Thanksgiving Dinner at the Salvation Army Kitchen. Then later they drive home to their warm mansions while the homeless go back to their cold makeshift cardboard tents under the overpass.
- vorpalhex 7y ago
  You're right, they shouldn't of fed the homeless.
  - 9nGQluzmnq3M 7y ago
    Give me a man a fish vs teach a man to fish. The system in the US is broken, the Thanksgiving dinner for the homeless is only a flimsy bandaid, and the real reason it's pernicious is because now the volunteer can sit back in the warm glow of approval on Facebook/Instagram and think "There! Now I've done my part".
    - isoskeles 7y ago
      What's pernicious is the attitude that helping people and treating them likes humans, in the real world, can be turned into some act of malice where we can assume the worst about the intentions of the people doing it. That said, I do think it's silly and pointless to "help" on Thanksgiving. These places are overrun with volunteers on Thanksgiving but not at other times of the year.
    - chii 7y ago
      >"There! Now I've done my part". they indeed have done their part. The problem isn't caused by these people.
      - fatbird 7y ago
        It’s also not solved by them, despite the warm glow they get from dishing out mashed potatoes once a year.
keiferski 7y ago
The problem with relying on crowdfunding and social media to address issues is the same problem with using voting systems to select government representatives - you mostly just end up with media-savvy, charismatic people - and not necessarily the most deserving, talented, or qualified. Perhaps the most deserving fundee (is that a word?) is not familiar enough with marketing tactics to build a fundraising campaign. And perhaps the most effective government leader is a monotone guy who gets nervous in front of cameras. But we'll never know, because our systems rely on popularity.
- nils-m-holm 7y ago
  > But we'll never know, because our systems rely on popularity. And on self-confidence! I have worked hard my entire life, have written about 20 books, and have lived under the poverty threshold pretty my entire life. Why? Because I do not like to be at the center of attention. You do not even have to be charismatic (although that helps a lot). Just being able to be self-confident in the presence of people goes a long way.
  - oh_sigh 7y ago
    I think there's more to it than that, at least for you. I just looked over your site and just guessing but you could almost certainly be making $200k+ at a FAANG as an individual contributor, which doesn't require you to be the center of attention at all.
    - zozbot234 7y ago
      The best part about that website is the OLED-optimized dark+green theme.
    - nils-m-holm 7y ago
      I guess we have different concepts of "center of attention". Having to report back and justify yourself once a week is definitely too much for me. That does not mean I do not want to do the work, I am just not able to talk about it all the time.
manbearpiggy 7y ago
That first fundraiser Matt White is a real POS. https://breakthroughcancercoaching.com/success-stories/ https://breakthroughcancercoaching.com/success-stories/
- jmkni 7y ago
  Can you elaborate?
  - jacquesm 7y ago
    Just click and read: "By the grace of God, Janelle was introduced to me and we put her on the whole Breakthrough Coaching System. She got rid of all the expensive supplements and focused on a step by step strategy to healing. Janelle decided to find a doctor who would monitor her progress while we worked together. After a year of consistent effort her hard work paid off, Janelle went back to her oncologist for the good news: no breast cancer detectable. Her body had spontaneously healed itself. As of today, Janelle is still cancer free and has become a cancer coach for Breakthrough Cancer System. She offers her expertise and first hand knowledge to every client we work with. Janelle knows first hand what it takes to cross the bridge of cancer and come out healed. And if she can do it, so can you!" I don't think it needs more evidence.
mekane8 7y ago
There's a book called "Toxic Charity" that really changed my views on giving, charity, and helping others in general. The upshot is that most of our quick-hit solutions like this just end up creating more problems and leaving people feeling worse. Help that doesn't hurt is about empowering people and letting them take ownership. Easier said than done.

61 points by danso 7y ago

viking1992 7y ago

What's the ugly part? The article talks about successful and unsuccessful GoFundMe campaigns. Is the ugly part that some deplorables got millions from other deplorables? I deem the title click bait.

HeWhoLurksLate 7y ago
Agree, I do. I feel like the "White Savior Inferiority Complex" quote might explain a bit.
danso 7y ago
One of the "ugly" parts is how some things can go viral, and much more serious things don't at all, and it can feel like a bizarre system of faux meritocracy: > What’s wrong with you also influences whether you score big with medical crowdfunding, according to the University of Washington at Bothell medical anthropologist Nora Kenworthy and the media scholar Lauren Berliner, who have been studying the subject since 2013. Successful campaigns tend to focus on onetime fixes (a new prosthetic, say) rather than chronic, complicated diagnoses like Laila’s. Terminal cases and geriatric care are also tough to fundraise for, as are stigmatized conditions such as HIV and addiction- or obesity-related problems... > ...As Laila’s GoFundMe sputtered out, Richard grew to resent the people raising tens of thousands for sick pets. At his lowest moments, he wondered whether the campaign would have been more successful if Laila had been a cat. > Richard’s bitter feelings reminded me of something Berliner had observed when we spoke: “There’s a lot of secrecy and shame around the ones that don’t receive funding. If it’s a way to perform need, how must it feel to put yourself out there and not receive anything in return?” That society and human nature seems to pay more attention to quick fixes and happy surface story is "ugly", though that's something that has long been a facet of society well before GoFundMe.
kraig911 7y ago
It can get ugly. I did a gofundme to raise money for my daughter's stem cell treatment. Half my extended family doesn't talk to me anymore. I'm sorry I was short 20k in savings and couldn't figure it out on my own guys but I had to swallow my pride and do whatever it took.
- danans 7y ago
  > I'm sorry I was short 20k in savings and couldn't figure it out on my own guys but I had to swallow my pride and do whatever it took. You did what you had to do given the realities, but I'm sorry and ashamed that as a society we put you in that position.
- hkmurakami 7y ago
  Do they not talk to you because they gave you money? Or because somehow you bright the family shame for asking others for help? Or something else?
  - kraig911 7y ago
    They don't talk to me because to them I was begging for money.
    - EdwardDiego 7y ago
      I'm sorry to hear that mate, but I totally get where you're coming from - pride is nothing compared to your daughter's life.
    - Intermernet 7y ago
      For what it's worth, I think you did the right thing. I know I would have done the same thing in your place.
- climb_stealth 7y ago
  That is horrible! Families can be really nasty like that. For whatever a random comment on the internet is worth, I believe you did the right thing. And people who put this above the life of your daughter are not worth associating with.
EdwardDiego 7y ago
Deplorables? Are we doing Hillary Clinton references or something? Hey, downvoters, it was a genuine question, if I've missed something, please let me know. The term deplorable is rather odd, and I can only recall it being used in in recent pop culture by Hillary Clinton wrt Trump supporters.
- dodobirdlord 7y ago
  The term has entered the popular lexicon since the 2016 election and is commonly used to refer to the subset of Trump supporters who also broadly agree with his more odious statements.

stevespang 7y ago

“The White Savior Industrial Complex is not about justice,” Teju Cole wrote in 2012. “It is about having a big emotional experience that validates privilege.” You see this everywhere, like the wealthy people who sign up to feed the homeless Thanksgiving Dinner at the Salvation Army Kitchen. Then later they drive home to their warm mansions while the homeless go back to their cold makeshift cardboard tents under the overpass.

vorpalhex 7y ago
You're right, they shouldn't of fed the homeless.
- 9nGQluzmnq3M 7y ago
  Give me a man a fish vs teach a man to fish. The system in the US is broken, the Thanksgiving dinner for the homeless is only a flimsy bandaid, and the real reason it's pernicious is because now the volunteer can sit back in the warm glow of approval on Facebook/Instagram and think "There! Now I've done my part".
  - isoskeles 7y ago
    What's pernicious is the attitude that helping people and treating them likes humans, in the real world, can be turned into some act of malice where we can assume the worst about the intentions of the people doing it. That said, I do think it's silly and pointless to "help" on Thanksgiving. These places are overrun with volunteers on Thanksgiving but not at other times of the year.
  - chii 7y ago
    >"There! Now I've done my part". they indeed have done their part. The problem isn't caused by these people.
    - fatbird 7y ago
      It’s also not solved by them, despite the warm glow they get from dishing out mashed potatoes once a year.

keiferski 7y ago

The problem with relying on crowdfunding and social media to address issues is the same problem with using voting systems to select government representatives - you mostly just end up with media-savvy, charismatic people - and not necessarily the most deserving, talented, or qualified. Perhaps the most deserving fundee (is that a word?) is not familiar enough with marketing tactics to build a fundraising campaign. And perhaps the most effective government leader is a monotone guy who gets nervous in front of cameras. But we'll never know, because our systems rely on popularity.

nils-m-holm 7y ago
> But we'll never know, because our systems rely on popularity. And on self-confidence! I have worked hard my entire life, have written about 20 books, and have lived under the poverty threshold pretty my entire life. Why? Because I do not like to be at the center of attention. You do not even have to be charismatic (although that helps a lot). Just being able to be self-confident in the presence of people goes a long way.
- oh_sigh 7y ago
  I think there's more to it than that, at least for you. I just looked over your site and just guessing but you could almost certainly be making $200k+ at a FAANG as an individual contributor, which doesn't require you to be the center of attention at all.
  - zozbot234 7y ago
    The best part about that website is the OLED-optimized dark+green theme.
  - nils-m-holm 7y ago
    I guess we have different concepts of "center of attention". Having to report back and justify yourself once a week is definitely too much for me. That does not mean I do not want to do the work, I am just not able to talk about it all the time.

manbearpiggy 7y ago

That first fundraiser Matt White is a real POS. https://breakthroughcancercoaching.com/success-stories/ https://breakthroughcancercoaching.com/success-stories/

jmkni 7y ago
Can you elaborate?
- jacquesm 7y ago
  Just click and read: "By the grace of God, Janelle was introduced to me and we put her on the whole Breakthrough Coaching System. She got rid of all the expensive supplements and focused on a step by step strategy to healing. Janelle decided to find a doctor who would monitor her progress while we worked together. After a year of consistent effort her hard work paid off, Janelle went back to her oncologist for the good news: no breast cancer detectable. Her body had spontaneously healed itself. As of today, Janelle is still cancer free and has become a cancer coach for Breakthrough Cancer System. She offers her expertise and first hand knowledge to every client we work with. Janelle knows first hand what it takes to cross the bridge of cancer and come out healed. And if she can do it, so can you!" I don't think it needs more evidence.

mekane8 7y ago

There's a book called "Toxic Charity" that really changed my views on giving, charity, and helping others in general. The upshot is that most of our quick-hit solutions like this just end up creating more problems and leaving people feeling worse. Help that doesn't hurt is about empowering people and letting them take ownership. Easier said than done.