14 ms·

Time anxiety: is it too late?

518 points by anthilemoon 7y ago

non-entity 7y ago
> Future time anxiety: thoughts about what may or may not happen in the future, which are the cause of worry and “what if” types of internal questions. gah, this has been torturing me for the past year, as I discover more and more what I wish I was doing. I'm only 21 right now, so a lot of my anxiety may be unfounded, but so many things I want to do require major risks, opportunity cost, or more importantly monetary costs. I want to stop worrying about the what-if's, but it just seems so much more complicated than that
Ancalagon 7y ago
I agree with basically all of the points of this article, one thing I wanted to point out though is that's also important to make time to _try new things_. And I don't mean just try them once, sometimes I've found I need to form a habit out of whatever it is I'm trying before I really enjoy it. Take exercise (or running) as an example. Running when you're out of shape sucks. But give it a couple weeks of running, gradually increasing the length of time and distance you run, and it can become a very enjoyable activity. That said, its a balancing act, and you cant spend all your time trying new things.
- TheGRS 7y ago
  I do believe you need a balance of habitual activities and trying new things. Doing stuff you've never done before and going to places you've never seen has the effect of slowing down the perception of time, which is great if you have the sort of time anxiety described.
hinkley 7y ago
I know there are some people disproving parts of Malcolm Gladwell's theories, but sometime in the last year or two it occurred to me that one of the consequences of the 10,000 hours theory is that you actually have time to get expert-level good at three or four things in your life even if you spent part of it 'fucking around'. I've expanded that into a philosophy about 'Software eats the world": the only way that doesn't end up in a dystopian hellscape is if Software Developers go out and meet the World. Dive into hobbies. Get good enough at them to be a Product Owner. Make software that supports that hobby. You'll also have something to talk to people about at parties other than what you do for a living.
- programmerdude 7y ago
  As a software eng who has always had a lot of hobbies, it's almost alienating how so many people in the office are only into TV shows, super hero movies, sci fi books, video games... It's like, there's a whole world out there people!
  - Grzegrzolka 7y ago
    Serious question, what other hobbies can one have?
    - tayo42 7y ago
      There's so many where do you even start? Arts, sports, cooking, reading can all be broken down into probabaly hundreds of things to do
      - deleted 7y ago
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    - diveloper 7y ago
      I recently bought a Onewheel, after never having done board sports in my life. Now I spend at least an hour on it a day, if not two. It's tons of fun.
    - ambicapter 7y ago
      Any sort of crafting hobby, which ranges from making clothes to making swords to making furniture. Graphical arts, digital and analog (which covers everything from painting with all different types of paints to mixed media, large format, small format, from the side of a building to the size of a grain of rice) These are all mostly looks-based, but you can also make things that do things, make electronics, restore old electronics, go antiquing for vinyl players, go antiquing for anything else. Join a choir, join a band, join a barbershop quartet, go to the Portsmouth Maritime Folk Festival and listen to sea shanties. The list goes on.
CalRobert 7y ago
I believe the word for this is Torschlusspanik https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Torschlusspanik https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Torschlusspanik - and sums it up nicely. I'm a kind of morbid person by nature, but the more time goes on the more I realize that awareness of my mortality is helpful for getting me off my ass to get things done. Not necessarily work, just life in general. I wanted to live abroad "someday" and finally tried it when I was 30 (in the nick of time, it turns out). I wanted to start a company, and see now how it would've been 50 times harder to do it with a child than without. In my 20's I always thought I'd get around to going on X trip, maybe asking out Y girl, etc. and instead wasted 9 years in the same town doing not much of anything. Fortunately, the last 9 years have had a lot more going on.
- bumby 7y ago
  I think there's a stoic principle of "Memento mori" -- remind yourself that you'll die so that you can make the most of your life now.
  - DoingIsLearning 7y ago
    Tangencial to your comment that is pretty much the spirit of the Dutch 16th century 'Vanitas' paintings. Wealthy patrons would comission art to act as a memento of their own fragility/mortality.
overcast 7y ago
Welp, this article can't have come at a more appropriate time in my life. Definitely struggling with these exact thoughts, constantly. Finding something meaningful, and rewarding to be a part of has become obsessive. Always thinking I'm wasting time if I'm not somehow maximizing it, with the end result being I spend more time worrying about it than actually doing it.
- Ancalagon 7y ago
  Maybe you're like me, maybe not, but meditation and CBT helps with this a bit. Also - and I'm gonna say this may make your anxiety better, it may make it worse - think about the most influential people in the last 100 years: Einstein, Turing, FDR, Obama, etc. Now think about the most influential people in last 1,000, then the last 10,000. How many people can you name from over a thousand years ago (hopefully you're not a historian)? My point is, even the greatest people today, although their contributions were great, will probably not be remembered by very many 10,000 years from now. We all ultimately go to the same place, great or not. Time is the great equalizer.
  - overcast 7y ago
    Thanks for the response, I've taken up meditation for the last couple of weeks. Definitely helps clear my head, at least for a short period of time. I'm really not concerned about being known throughout history, my only goal is that by the end of my life, I feel like I've done something fulfilling and rewarding enough to warrant the incredibly good fortune I've had being born during this time, to this family, in this part of the world.
    - Ancalagon 7y ago
      Well my point with that response was more of: by who's metric are you measuring your warranting being here? If it isn't history's, then I think it should be your own. And if its your own, I really believe as long as you put in a good effort - not even necessarily your best effort all the time - then that should be good enough. A higher sense of purpose is excellent but you also have to understand that life is really weird and almost never works out how you expect it to. But I'm guessing you already know all of that. At this point its probably more about moving your own metric and zeroing in on what you want to do.
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mocha_nate 7y ago
I enjoyed this. Also, I now have some vocabulary for things that bother me, which is pretty nice.
dcolkitt 7y ago
Personally speaking, the biggest specter for time anxiety is age-related cognitive decline. Unfortunately it happens much earlier than most people think. Especially with regards to both creativity and fluid intelligence. Tech entrepreneurs are disproportionately clustered at 20-34. The probability of making a major scientific discovery starts declining at 40. Poets peak in their early 40s, and novelists not much longer after that. Mathematicians and physicists may on average peak as early as their late 20s. Anyway as someone in their mid-30s, who would still like to accomplish a lot more than what I have so far, this has been bothering me a lot lately. I'm happy to hear any perspective that others have here. [1] https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2019/07/work-peak-professional-decline/590650/ https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2019/07/work-pe...
- endorphone 7y ago
  "Tech entrepreneurs are disproportionately clustered at 20-34. The probability of making a major scientific discovery starts declining at 40. Poets peak in their early 40s, and novelists not much longer after that. Mathematicians and physicists may on average peak as early as their late 20s." None of these are indicative of cognitive decline (especially tech entrepreneurs, which as an aside it is a myth that it is dominated by the young -- https://hbr.org/2018/07/research-the-average-age-of-a-successful-startup-founder-is-45 https://hbr.org/2018/07/research-the-average-age-of-a-succes...). As people have a family, have responsibilities, etc, the drive to excel in a broader sense declines. Impressing the community, making a name, etc, just has far less of a motivating effect. You could say the same thing from a "career" perspective if your role is as a salaryman under someone else: the drive to spend your life for someone else's gain diminishes.
- hyko 7y ago
  Don’t despair, cognitive decline is real but likely not the cause of this distribution: http://barabasi.com/f/825.pdf http://barabasi.com/f/825.pdf The harder you work, the greater the chance of success, at any age. And remember: not all cognitive functions decline with age.
- thesausageking 7y ago
  > Tech entrepreneurs are disproportionately clustered at 20-34. Do you have a source for this? The article you linked to quotes one 2014 HBR article and then walks it back, saying, "all studies in this area have found that the majority of successful start-ups have founders under age 50". And there was also this more recent HBR article "The Average Age of a Successful Startup Founder Is 45": https://hbr.org/2018/07/research-the-average-age-of-a-successful-startup-founder-is-45 https://hbr.org/2018/07/research-the-average-age-of-a-succes...
generated 7y ago
My issue with the pursuit of leisure activities, or the “If we take care of the moments, the years will take care of themselves” quote, is that it doesn't leave room for ambition. If I spend my years in momentary pleasure, I fear I will regret not tackling more ambitious projects. What could I have achieved if I was willing to suffer through activities that are not solely "activities you really enjoy?"
- _def 7y ago
  > What could I have achieved if I was willing to suffer through activities that are not solely "activities you really enjoy?" I feel like that's kind of the point. The answer is: you will never know. Of course it's easier said than done but I think in the long run it's much better to cherish the present instead of fearing the future. What if you suffer for years and even then the question does not disappear?
pier25 7y ago
I remember in my 20s I had this constant anxiety about running out of time. That if I didn't accomplish whatever I wanted to accomplish soon I'd never be able to do it. The emotion gradually disappeared during my 30s. In a way I was right. I'm 40 now and the things that seemed of extreme importance in my 20s are mostly gone now. In retrospect it's not that I wouldn't be able to do those things, but maybe I feared that I wouldn't want to. Anyway, I feel much better about myself now. I would not trade this peace of mind for the raw energy of the 20s.
- x2f10 7y ago
  I'm not in my early thirties and time anxiety is actually growing stronger. I worry about the big three: children, career, and personal health. My idea is that with kids... my finace and I are aging. Are we going to do this or not? We have to know within the next 2ish years. With career... what career path do I want to take? I need to focus on schooling or professional certificates ASAP so I can utilize those as I age. With health... how many years of testosterone do I have left? I'm very skinny and would like to build a basic muscle structure, not for vanity but for general health.
  - yters 7y ago
    Don't put those things off. Focus and go for it.
  - l_t 7y ago
    This is a personal comment, but if you're like me, I bet that anxiety is not just related to time. I would be telling myself: How can I commit to a lifelong project like children? How can I decide what career path to choose, when there are so many options and I can only pick one? How can I work out, when its basically signing up to humiliate yourself? How can I take these _risks_? In my experience, anxiety pretends that it's useful. It feels motivational -- like you are motivated to work out, because of your anxiety about being frail. But contrary to how it feels, anxiety can have the opposite effect. You want it too much, that becomes dangerous, because you're afraid of trying and failing. If that sounds familiar at all, my advice (since all HN comments have to have advice, right?) is to distance yourself from those goals and aspirations. Perform the Stoic exercise of meditating on the worst-case scenario. Let yourself make mistakes and look stupid. Just do it because you should, and damn the outcome.
munherty 7y ago
Can confirm , in my 20s and it feels like the interal pressure to create something gets greater everyday. The worst part is that I came close a few years ago but couldnt rally my partners to continue past the research phase... However more recently ive been calming myself by just focusing on the present
aflag 7y ago
Is it too late? My answer is always: I don't know, let's see. So far it hasn't.
- fuzzfactor 7y ago
  It's later than you think.
codesushi42 7y ago
Never, never, never give up. - Winston Churchill
rland 7y ago
The single consistent thing I have noticed in dealing with this type of anxiety is that if I spend time with people I actually like being with, it completely disappears. It's impossible to be so self-directed if there is another person in the room who I care about or love. To that end, the fix is simple: surround myself with people that I love. Friends and family. Easier said then done, especially in our modern world, which is why I suspect this comes up frequently.
- andrepd 7y ago
  This is exactly how I feel, which is also why it is so difficult for me: I'm in a long distance relationship because of work.
  - WhompingWindows 7y ago
    Same here. We met and dated for a year, it was lovely. Then I took a job 1 hour away, 50% higher pay and a promotion, but the relationship does suffer a bit from that 1 hour drive.
- hathawsh 7y ago
  I concur. I would also like to suggest voluntary service. Every time I've participated in a service project, I've come away with reduced anxiety and an increased appreciation for the people around me. I discovered what I should be focusing on. One place to find service opportunities is https://www.justserve.org/ https://www.justserve.org/ . There's an app too. It's worth a look.
- scarejunba 7y ago
  Yeah, but it's deleterious to my societal productivity. Like I'm happier spending my time with my friends. But I have less of that burning desire to build. I think I might actually be content to live just happily on the beach with the wealth I have now, so long as everyone I love is nearby and we frequently meet. But obviously I don't want to be content with that.
  - lonelappde 7y ago
nimroder 7y ago
Feels like everybody in our society feels time anxiety, in a different level. During my 20s, it grew (and I guess to all of the Y-generation when thinking of my friends). It is interesting investigate the levels of time anxiety with different ages and different environment. -- lately I had an increase of time anxiety, close to my 30s and big changes in my personal life :) So thank you for the article, it makes me want to investigate it more with myself.
nydel 7y ago
> Time anxiety ... means that your well-being is determined to a large extent by the importance of the value you feel you are creating with your life. As a hacker doing mostly odd jobs and remote volunteer work for not-for-profits, I'm often consumed by the idea of whether I'll be able to "put my name on the day" when the head hits the pillow. I have had a regular 0900-1700 job before, and it was nice to have the external validation thing to fall back on, the time-card that proves you showed up at least, or the mere fact that you're holding the job etc. > Define what “time well spent” means to you This is a great piece of advice. One source of metrics I found helpful to abandon is educational mobile apps / web programs etc that involve any sort of gamification. For example, I wasn't enjoying learning Japanese during the times I was redoing a lesson I didn't need to redo simply in order to make the education app make a fanfare sound and tell me that I had achieved my "daily x out of x points" ... I think measuring in time spent and effort exerted is a lot healthier, even if its complete inability to be quantified can be extremely frustrating!
thtthings 7y ago
You think too highly of yourself. Why do you think whatever you create is something special. It's most likely Shit. There is freedom in knowing you are one in 7 billion. Real creation happens when you give freedom to your mind to do whatever it wants to. There is no time constraint, no feeling that i need to get this done. It's spontaneous. You are following someone else's script here. You are equating activity with accomplishment
- Blackadderz 7y ago
  Hear, hear
- nostromo 7y ago
  While I appreciate the stoicism, this isn't just about delusions of grandeur. Examples: * I'm too old to learn how to surf * My relationship with my child is too far gone to improve * It's pointless for me to save for retirement at my age * The environment is fucked no matter what I do These are all time anxiety type dilemmas that real people get hung up on that have nothing to do with impressing the world or building the next big thing.
  - thtthings 7y ago
    I think all these examples are of thinking too much. Why not just this very moment do something you feel like. Then the next and then the next. Go learn surfing, call your child and if you are too lazy then just accept you don't care about that stuff as much and do what you care about. You care about netflix then watch netflix. Don't do what you think society or other people think is cool. If we are completely present in the now and doing what feel rights. There is no room for all these negative thoughts.
    - eduren 7y ago
      Dispensing advice like this to someone with anxiety issues is exactly the same as telling someone with depression that they should get out of bed, meet people, be happy for what they have, or smile more. It is the kind of swapping of cause and effect that many neurotypical people fall into when conversing with those who are suffering. All of the behaviors and habits you describe are largely the result of healthy mental states, not the cause (there can be feedback loops that make the distinction fuzzy, but those feedback loops are very fragile and require constant maintenance). I'm sure its well intentioned, but it's just not going to be very useful advice.
cryptozeus 7y ago
Strange to assume that you have time which will run out. Only thing available is “now”. Literally and figuratively. Question is how do you convince your mind of this reality.
flattone 7y ago
"If I never start doing some thing then I'll never have to confront how far behind / late / failure" This is my current best try at translating a deep and very strong and very vague physiological sensation that prevents people (me) from doing almost anything of importance. the article is as close as I've seen to something useful on this issue. partly due to avoiding even confronting the issue. Presenting an audit process to modify behavior and increase time spent in important ways +10 value.
ubu7737 7y ago
She's an ex-Googler, I trust her completely.
drongoking 7y ago
Interesting essay. Related to time anxiety, Oliver Burkeman pointed out the paradox of "making good use of time". Taken too far, it turns time into an instrumental goal. You never really enjoy it; you're always just investing time in a future that never comes. And you suffer time anxiety.
some_eejit 7y ago
What sort of person worries about having led a frivolous life? I can guarantee you that's the last thing I'll be worried about on my deathbed (assuming I have my mental faculties, which is not a done deal these days).
some_eejit 7y ago
Wait until you hit 50. That's when you really hear the clock ticking (I'm 51).
- hnick 7y ago
  Don't worry, a 60 year old will be along to correct you soon enough :)
mikorym 7y ago
I think we need to make peace with "achieving" later in life than our renaissance ancestors. The same holds for the Fields Medal (with an age limit of 40): many gre at mathematicians will only achieve much later than that.
z3t4 7y ago
If the best time has passed, the next best time is now!
coldtea 7y ago
>Dr. Alex Lickerman, the author of The Undefeated Mind: On the Science of Constructing an Indestructible Self, says that time anxiety stems from some of the following questions: “Am I creating the greatest amount of value with my life that I can? Will I feel, when it comes my time to die, that I spent too much of my time frivolously?” Even before that, time anxiety stems from the idea that we're put here to do X thing or achieve Y thing, and not e.g. just enjoy life. While the notion is ancient, many cultures don't really have time anxiety to any degree to write home about. It's more common in the US than in Europe, for example, and perhaps goes with the "winners and losers" view of society as some kind of race.
tagirb 7y ago
I think this anxiety comes from deep inside of me reminding that I've lost myself in that moment. It helps to just stop doing whatever I am doing, shut off my mind, turn to myself, and re-establish the connection with my inner self, which I tend to loose sometimes in the everyday hectic. And what also helps me to retain and to strengthen this connection is simply love. Basically, to replace the negative thoughts, ambitions, etc. with truly positive values and things, to start caring about the people around, doing something good for the others without expecting anything in exchange and many other good things, which I'd never thought of before. The books here have helped me to make the first step back then and are still helping me to stay on this way: https://allatra-book.org/ https://allatra-book.org/ Hope they help someone else as well.
birdyrooster 7y ago
When I was a student, I had no concept of time anxiety and would spend endless hours creating games on my Mac or playing with musical instruments. I ignored my school work and my grades suffered, but not my hobbies. In adulthood, with a full time job and no desire to derail my possible retirement with dignity, I find that the time has really passed on many endeavors. I won't be a full time musician and I am mentally exhausted after work so I won't be a part time musician either. My employers, even ones which are kind and flexible, get the lions share of my productive value. What I do have is some disposable income and so I end up becoming a mindless consumer for the rest of my time after work. I have hope for change in the future, but it's not looking better after changing employers several times and growing ten years older.
burakozgul 7y ago
Me after reading this article : "Now I have a time anxiety"
StanislavPetrov 7y ago
While reading this article I couldn't stop thinking about the cliche (which I believe happens to be useful), "today is the first day of the rest of your life". The truth is we never know how much time we have left. You could walk out your front door and get run over by a bus at any time. All we can really do is engage in activities that we find worthwhile and fulfilling. At the risk of using two cliches in the same, short post, "life is a journey, not a destination". If you are trying to find meaning in life by reaching arbitrary goal posts you're missing the point.
cocochanel 7y ago
It takes a lifetime to master a craft. The earlier you start, the longer it takes.
Gusmann 7y ago
The bigger problem is that time anxiety often comes together with self-doubt so you spend a lot of time doubting your choices and ideas and then bump right into time anxiety Probably the only thing you can do about it is do something that feels right for you no matter when
starsinspace 7y ago
> Cut out time-consuming distractions Good idea. Time for me to close HN now. Seriously... I spend (waste?) way too much time here.
mirimir 7y ago
This is something that I deal with every day. You never know when you're going to die. But even when I was in my 50s, barring surprise diseases and accidents, it was far off in the distant future. Not so much now. Especially because time is subjectively faster. Months seem like weeks used to. But there is an advantage. Now it's a convenient excuse to avoid doing whatever I don't want to. I'm far less constrained by what others expect of me.
Lio 7y ago
Whenever I feel time anxiety I try to think of Ray Kroc[1] He didn't get started on his version McDonalds until he was 64, an age that many people would be about to retire. I'm not a great fan of McDonalds food but if you can start a company like that at 64 you can start anything at any age. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ray_Kroc https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ray_Kroc
- mikelyons 7y ago
  It's worth acknowledging that it was a different world when Ray was 64.
  - Lio 7y ago
    Of course but that's always true. It'll be a different world again when/if you or I reach the age of 64 too.
chmielewski 7y ago
"The lyfe so short, the craft so long to lerne" is certainly different than 'the life too short' or 'the craft too long to learn'.
chmielewski 7y ago
“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”

518 points by anthilemoon 7y ago

> Future time anxiety: thoughts about what may or may not happen in the future, which are the cause of worry and “what if” types of internal questions. gah, this has been torturing me for the past year, as I discover more and more what I wish I was doing. I'm only 21 right now, so a lot of my anxiety may be unfounded, but so many things I want to do require major risks, opportunity cost, or more importantly monetary costs. I want to stop worrying about the what-if's, but it just seems so much more complicated than that

Ancalagon 7y ago

I agree with basically all of the points of this article, one thing I wanted to point out though is that's also important to make time to _try new things_. And I don't mean just try them once, sometimes I've found I need to form a habit out of whatever it is I'm trying before I really enjoy it. Take exercise (or running) as an example. Running when you're out of shape sucks. But give it a couple weeks of running, gradually increasing the length of time and distance you run, and it can become a very enjoyable activity. That said, its a balancing act, and you cant spend all your time trying new things.

TheGRS 7y ago
I do believe you need a balance of habitual activities and trying new things. Doing stuff you've never done before and going to places you've never seen has the effect of slowing down the perception of time, which is great if you have the sort of time anxiety described.

hinkley 7y ago

I know there are some people disproving parts of Malcolm Gladwell's theories, but sometime in the last year or two it occurred to me that one of the consequences of the 10,000 hours theory is that you actually have time to get expert-level good at three or four things in your life even if you spent part of it 'fucking around'. I've expanded that into a philosophy about 'Software eats the world": the only way that doesn't end up in a dystopian hellscape is if Software Developers go out and meet the World. Dive into hobbies. Get good enough at them to be a Product Owner. Make software that supports that hobby. You'll also have something to talk to people about at parties other than what you do for a living.

programmerdude 7y ago
As a software eng who has always had a lot of hobbies, it's almost alienating how so many people in the office are only into TV shows, super hero movies, sci fi books, video games... It's like, there's a whole world out there people!
- Grzegrzolka 7y ago
  Serious question, what other hobbies can one have?
  - tayo42 7y ago
    There's so many where do you even start? Arts, sports, cooking, reading can all be broken down into probabaly hundreds of things to do
    - deleted 7y ago
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  - diveloper 7y ago
    I recently bought a Onewheel, after never having done board sports in my life. Now I spend at least an hour on it a day, if not two. It's tons of fun.
  - ambicapter 7y ago
    Any sort of crafting hobby, which ranges from making clothes to making swords to making furniture. Graphical arts, digital and analog (which covers everything from painting with all different types of paints to mixed media, large format, small format, from the side of a building to the size of a grain of rice) These are all mostly looks-based, but you can also make things that do things, make electronics, restore old electronics, go antiquing for vinyl players, go antiquing for anything else. Join a choir, join a band, join a barbershop quartet, go to the Portsmouth Maritime Folk Festival and listen to sea shanties. The list goes on.

CalRobert 7y ago

I believe the word for this is Torschlusspanik https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Torschlusspanik https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Torschlusspanik - and sums it up nicely. I'm a kind of morbid person by nature, but the more time goes on the more I realize that awareness of my mortality is helpful for getting me off my ass to get things done. Not necessarily work, just life in general. I wanted to live abroad "someday" and finally tried it when I was 30 (in the nick of time, it turns out). I wanted to start a company, and see now how it would've been 50 times harder to do it with a child than without. In my 20's I always thought I'd get around to going on X trip, maybe asking out Y girl, etc. and instead wasted 9 years in the same town doing not much of anything. Fortunately, the last 9 years have had a lot more going on.

bumby 7y ago
I think there's a stoic principle of "Memento mori" -- remind yourself that you'll die so that you can make the most of your life now.
- DoingIsLearning 7y ago
  Tangencial to your comment that is pretty much the spirit of the Dutch 16th century 'Vanitas' paintings. Wealthy patrons would comission art to act as a memento of their own fragility/mortality.

overcast 7y ago

Welp, this article can't have come at a more appropriate time in my life. Definitely struggling with these exact thoughts, constantly. Finding something meaningful, and rewarding to be a part of has become obsessive. Always thinking I'm wasting time if I'm not somehow maximizing it, with the end result being I spend more time worrying about it than actually doing it.

Ancalagon 7y ago
Maybe you're like me, maybe not, but meditation and CBT helps with this a bit. Also - and I'm gonna say this may make your anxiety better, it may make it worse - think about the most influential people in the last 100 years: Einstein, Turing, FDR, Obama, etc. Now think about the most influential people in last 1,000, then the last 10,000. How many people can you name from over a thousand years ago (hopefully you're not a historian)? My point is, even the greatest people today, although their contributions were great, will probably not be remembered by very many 10,000 years from now. We all ultimately go to the same place, great or not. Time is the great equalizer.
- overcast 7y ago
  Thanks for the response, I've taken up meditation for the last couple of weeks. Definitely helps clear my head, at least for a short period of time. I'm really not concerned about being known throughout history, my only goal is that by the end of my life, I feel like I've done something fulfilling and rewarding enough to warrant the incredibly good fortune I've had being born during this time, to this family, in this part of the world.
  - Ancalagon 7y ago
    Well my point with that response was more of: by who's metric are you measuring your warranting being here? If it isn't history's, then I think it should be your own. And if its your own, I really believe as long as you put in a good effort - not even necessarily your best effort all the time - then that should be good enough. A higher sense of purpose is excellent but you also have to understand that life is really weird and almost never works out how you expect it to. But I'm guessing you already know all of that. At this point its probably more about moving your own metric and zeroing in on what you want to do.

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mocha_nate 7y ago

I enjoyed this. Also, I now have some vocabulary for things that bother me, which is pretty nice.

dcolkitt 7y ago

Personally speaking, the biggest specter for time anxiety is age-related cognitive decline. Unfortunately it happens much earlier than most people think. Especially with regards to both creativity and fluid intelligence. Tech entrepreneurs are disproportionately clustered at 20-34. The probability of making a major scientific discovery starts declining at 40. Poets peak in their early 40s, and novelists not much longer after that. Mathematicians and physicists may on average peak as early as their late 20s. Anyway as someone in their mid-30s, who would still like to accomplish a lot more than what I have so far, this has been bothering me a lot lately. I'm happy to hear any perspective that others have here. [1] https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2019/07/work-peak-professional-decline/590650/ https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2019/07/work-pe...

endorphone 7y ago
"Tech entrepreneurs are disproportionately clustered at 20-34. The probability of making a major scientific discovery starts declining at 40. Poets peak in their early 40s, and novelists not much longer after that. Mathematicians and physicists may on average peak as early as their late 20s." None of these are indicative of cognitive decline (especially tech entrepreneurs, which as an aside it is a myth that it is dominated by the young -- https://hbr.org/2018/07/research-the-average-age-of-a-successful-startup-founder-is-45 https://hbr.org/2018/07/research-the-average-age-of-a-succes...). As people have a family, have responsibilities, etc, the drive to excel in a broader sense declines. Impressing the community, making a name, etc, just has far less of a motivating effect. You could say the same thing from a "career" perspective if your role is as a salaryman under someone else: the drive to spend your life for someone else's gain diminishes.
hyko 7y ago
Don’t despair, cognitive decline is real but likely not the cause of this distribution: http://barabasi.com/f/825.pdf http://barabasi.com/f/825.pdf The harder you work, the greater the chance of success, at any age. And remember: not all cognitive functions decline with age.
thesausageking 7y ago
> Tech entrepreneurs are disproportionately clustered at 20-34. Do you have a source for this? The article you linked to quotes one 2014 HBR article and then walks it back, saying, "all studies in this area have found that the majority of successful start-ups have founders under age 50". And there was also this more recent HBR article "The Average Age of a Successful Startup Founder Is 45": https://hbr.org/2018/07/research-the-average-age-of-a-successful-startup-founder-is-45 https://hbr.org/2018/07/research-the-average-age-of-a-succes...

generated 7y ago

My issue with the pursuit of leisure activities, or the “If we take care of the moments, the years will take care of themselves” quote, is that it doesn't leave room for ambition. If I spend my years in momentary pleasure, I fear I will regret not tackling more ambitious projects. What could I have achieved if I was willing to suffer through activities that are not solely "activities you really enjoy?"

_def 7y ago
> What could I have achieved if I was willing to suffer through activities that are not solely "activities you really enjoy?" I feel like that's kind of the point. The answer is: you will never know. Of course it's easier said than done but I think in the long run it's much better to cherish the present instead of fearing the future. What if you suffer for years and even then the question does not disappear?

pier25 7y ago

I remember in my 20s I had this constant anxiety about running out of time. That if I didn't accomplish whatever I wanted to accomplish soon I'd never be able to do it. The emotion gradually disappeared during my 30s. In a way I was right. I'm 40 now and the things that seemed of extreme importance in my 20s are mostly gone now. In retrospect it's not that I wouldn't be able to do those things, but maybe I feared that I wouldn't want to. Anyway, I feel much better about myself now. I would not trade this peace of mind for the raw energy of the 20s.

x2f10 7y ago
I'm not in my early thirties and time anxiety is actually growing stronger. I worry about the big three: children, career, and personal health. My idea is that with kids... my finace and I are aging. Are we going to do this or not? We have to know within the next 2ish years. With career... what career path do I want to take? I need to focus on schooling or professional certificates ASAP so I can utilize those as I age. With health... how many years of testosterone do I have left? I'm very skinny and would like to build a basic muscle structure, not for vanity but for general health.
- yters 7y ago
  Don't put those things off. Focus and go for it.
- l_t 7y ago
  This is a personal comment, but if you're like me, I bet that anxiety is not just related to time. I would be telling myself: How can I commit to a lifelong project like children? How can I decide what career path to choose, when there are so many options and I can only pick one? How can I work out, when its basically signing up to humiliate yourself? How can I take these _risks_? In my experience, anxiety pretends that it's useful. It feels motivational -- like you are motivated to work out, because of your anxiety about being frail. But contrary to how it feels, anxiety can have the opposite effect. You want it too much, that becomes dangerous, because you're afraid of trying and failing. If that sounds familiar at all, my advice (since all HN comments have to have advice, right?) is to distance yourself from those goals and aspirations. Perform the Stoic exercise of meditating on the worst-case scenario. Let yourself make mistakes and look stupid. Just do it because you should, and damn the outcome.

munherty 7y ago

Can confirm , in my 20s and it feels like the interal pressure to create something gets greater everyday. The worst part is that I came close a few years ago but couldnt rally my partners to continue past the research phase... However more recently ive been calming myself by just focusing on the present

aflag 7y ago

Is it too late? My answer is always: I don't know, let's see. So far it hasn't.

fuzzfactor 7y ago
It's later than you think.

codesushi42 7y ago

Never, never, never give up. - Winston Churchill

rland 7y ago

The single consistent thing I have noticed in dealing with this type of anxiety is that if I spend time with people I actually like being with, it completely disappears. It's impossible to be so self-directed if there is another person in the room who I care about or love. To that end, the fix is simple: surround myself with people that I love. Friends and family. Easier said then done, especially in our modern world, which is why I suspect this comes up frequently.

andrepd 7y ago
This is exactly how I feel, which is also why it is so difficult for me: I'm in a long distance relationship because of work.
- WhompingWindows 7y ago
  Same here. We met and dated for a year, it was lovely. Then I took a job 1 hour away, 50% higher pay and a promotion, but the relationship does suffer a bit from that 1 hour drive.
hathawsh 7y ago
I concur. I would also like to suggest voluntary service. Every time I've participated in a service project, I've come away with reduced anxiety and an increased appreciation for the people around me. I discovered what I should be focusing on. One place to find service opportunities is https://www.justserve.org/ https://www.justserve.org/ . There's an app too. It's worth a look.
scarejunba 7y ago
Yeah, but it's deleterious to my societal productivity. Like I'm happier spending my time with my friends. But I have less of that burning desire to build. I think I might actually be content to live just happily on the beach with the wealth I have now, so long as everyone I love is nearby and we frequently meet. But obviously I don't want to be content with that.
- lonelappde 7y ago

nimroder 7y ago

Feels like everybody in our society feels time anxiety, in a different level. During my 20s, it grew (and I guess to all of the Y-generation when thinking of my friends). It is interesting investigate the levels of time anxiety with different ages and different environment. -- lately I had an increase of time anxiety, close to my 30s and big changes in my personal life :) So thank you for the article, it makes me want to investigate it more with myself.

nydel 7y ago

> Time anxiety ... means that your well-being is determined to a large extent by the importance of the value you feel you are creating with your life. As a hacker doing mostly odd jobs and remote volunteer work for not-for-profits, I'm often consumed by the idea of whether I'll be able to "put my name on the day" when the head hits the pillow. I have had a regular 0900-1700 job before, and it was nice to have the external validation thing to fall back on, the time-card that proves you showed up at least, or the mere fact that you're holding the job etc. > Define what “time well spent” means to you This is a great piece of advice. One source of metrics I found helpful to abandon is educational mobile apps / web programs etc that involve any sort of gamification. For example, I wasn't enjoying learning Japanese during the times I was redoing a lesson I didn't need to redo simply in order to make the education app make a fanfare sound and tell me that I had achieved my "daily x out of x points" ... I think measuring in time spent and effort exerted is a lot healthier, even if its complete inability to be quantified can be extremely frustrating!

thtthings 7y ago

You think too highly of yourself. Why do you think whatever you create is something special. It's most likely Shit. There is freedom in knowing you are one in 7 billion. Real creation happens when you give freedom to your mind to do whatever it wants to. There is no time constraint, no feeling that i need to get this done. It's spontaneous. You are following someone else's script here. You are equating activity with accomplishment

Blackadderz 7y ago
Hear, hear
nostromo 7y ago
While I appreciate the stoicism, this isn't just about delusions of grandeur. Examples: * I'm too old to learn how to surf * My relationship with my child is too far gone to improve * It's pointless for me to save for retirement at my age * The environment is fucked no matter what I do These are all time anxiety type dilemmas that real people get hung up on that have nothing to do with impressing the world or building the next big thing.
- thtthings 7y ago
  I think all these examples are of thinking too much. Why not just this very moment do something you feel like. Then the next and then the next. Go learn surfing, call your child and if you are too lazy then just accept you don't care about that stuff as much and do what you care about. You care about netflix then watch netflix. Don't do what you think society or other people think is cool. If we are completely present in the now and doing what feel rights. There is no room for all these negative thoughts.
  - eduren 7y ago
    Dispensing advice like this to someone with anxiety issues is exactly the same as telling someone with depression that they should get out of bed, meet people, be happy for what they have, or smile more. It is the kind of swapping of cause and effect that many neurotypical people fall into when conversing with those who are suffering. All of the behaviors and habits you describe are largely the result of healthy mental states, not the cause (there can be feedback loops that make the distinction fuzzy, but those feedback loops are very fragile and require constant maintenance). I'm sure its well intentioned, but it's just not going to be very useful advice.

cryptozeus 7y ago

Strange to assume that you have time which will run out. Only thing available is “now”. Literally and figuratively. Question is how do you convince your mind of this reality.

flattone 7y ago

"If I never start doing some thing then I'll never have to confront how far behind / late / failure" This is my current best try at translating a deep and very strong and very vague physiological sensation that prevents people (me) from doing almost anything of importance. the article is as close as I've seen to something useful on this issue. partly due to avoiding even confronting the issue. Presenting an audit process to modify behavior and increase time spent in important ways +10 value.

ubu7737 7y ago

She's an ex-Googler, I trust her completely.

drongoking 7y ago

Interesting essay. Related to time anxiety, Oliver Burkeman pointed out the paradox of "making good use of time". Taken too far, it turns time into an instrumental goal. You never really enjoy it; you're always just investing time in a future that never comes. And you suffer time anxiety.

some_eejit 7y ago

What sort of person worries about having led a frivolous life? I can guarantee you that's the last thing I'll be worried about on my deathbed (assuming I have my mental faculties, which is not a done deal these days).

some_eejit 7y ago

Wait until you hit 50. That's when you really hear the clock ticking (I'm 51).

hnick 7y ago
Don't worry, a 60 year old will be along to correct you soon enough :)

mikorym 7y ago

I think we need to make peace with "achieving" later in life than our renaissance ancestors. The same holds for the Fields Medal (with an age limit of 40): many gre at mathematicians will only achieve much later than that.

z3t4 7y ago

If the best time has passed, the next best time is now!

coldtea 7y ago

>Dr. Alex Lickerman, the author of The Undefeated Mind: On the Science of Constructing an Indestructible Self, says that time anxiety stems from some of the following questions: “Am I creating the greatest amount of value with my life that I can? Will I feel, when it comes my time to die, that I spent too much of my time frivolously?” Even before that, time anxiety stems from the idea that we're put here to do X thing or achieve Y thing, and not e.g. just enjoy life. While the notion is ancient, many cultures don't really have time anxiety to any degree to write home about. It's more common in the US than in Europe, for example, and perhaps goes with the "winners and losers" view of society as some kind of race.

tagirb 7y ago

I think this anxiety comes from deep inside of me reminding that I've lost myself in that moment. It helps to just stop doing whatever I am doing, shut off my mind, turn to myself, and re-establish the connection with my inner self, which I tend to loose sometimes in the everyday hectic. And what also helps me to retain and to strengthen this connection is simply love. Basically, to replace the negative thoughts, ambitions, etc. with truly positive values and things, to start caring about the people around, doing something good for the others without expecting anything in exchange and many other good things, which I'd never thought of before. The books here have helped me to make the first step back then and are still helping me to stay on this way: https://allatra-book.org/ https://allatra-book.org/ Hope they help someone else as well.

birdyrooster 7y ago

When I was a student, I had no concept of time anxiety and would spend endless hours creating games on my Mac or playing with musical instruments. I ignored my school work and my grades suffered, but not my hobbies. In adulthood, with a full time job and no desire to derail my possible retirement with dignity, I find that the time has really passed on many endeavors. I won't be a full time musician and I am mentally exhausted after work so I won't be a part time musician either. My employers, even ones which are kind and flexible, get the lions share of my productive value. What I do have is some disposable income and so I end up becoming a mindless consumer for the rest of my time after work. I have hope for change in the future, but it's not looking better after changing employers several times and growing ten years older.

burakozgul 7y ago

Me after reading this article : "Now I have a time anxiety"

StanislavPetrov 7y ago

While reading this article I couldn't stop thinking about the cliche (which I believe happens to be useful), "today is the first day of the rest of your life". The truth is we never know how much time we have left. You could walk out your front door and get run over by a bus at any time. All we can really do is engage in activities that we find worthwhile and fulfilling. At the risk of using two cliches in the same, short post, "life is a journey, not a destination". If you are trying to find meaning in life by reaching arbitrary goal posts you're missing the point.

cocochanel 7y ago

It takes a lifetime to master a craft. The earlier you start, the longer it takes.

Gusmann 7y ago

The bigger problem is that time anxiety often comes together with self-doubt so you spend a lot of time doubting your choices and ideas and then bump right into time anxiety Probably the only thing you can do about it is do something that feels right for you no matter when

starsinspace 7y ago

> Cut out time-consuming distractions Good idea. Time for me to close HN now. Seriously... I spend (waste?) way too much time here.

mirimir 7y ago

This is something that I deal with every day. You never know when you're going to die. But even when I was in my 50s, barring surprise diseases and accidents, it was far off in the distant future. Not so much now. Especially because time is subjectively faster. Months seem like weeks used to. But there is an advantage. Now it's a convenient excuse to avoid doing whatever I don't want to. I'm far less constrained by what others expect of me.

Lio 7y ago

Whenever I feel time anxiety I try to think of Ray Kroc[1] He didn't get started on his version McDonalds until he was 64, an age that many people would be about to retire. I'm not a great fan of McDonalds food but if you can start a company like that at 64 you can start anything at any age. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ray_Kroc https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ray_Kroc

mikelyons 7y ago
It's worth acknowledging that it was a different world when Ray was 64.
- Lio 7y ago
  Of course but that's always true. It'll be a different world again when/if you or I reach the age of 64 too.

chmielewski 7y ago

"The lyfe so short, the craft so long to lerne" is certainly different than 'the life too short' or 'the craft too long to learn'.

chmielewski 7y ago

“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”