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Show HN: I made online community for unusual people
- cableshaft 7y agoIf I was making something targeting unusual people, I would make my landing page look at least a little unconventional, some crazy art or pictures of people doing unusual things, something, to attract people who are unusual or different. This landing page looks to me as if it's trying to attract the most mainstream audience possible, like trying to be Facebook or ChristianMingle or something. It doesn't have to look too crazy, but it should look different from the norm, at least in colors or themes or something. Try looking at some unconventional sites and see how they sell themselves.
- Gik 7y agoThanks, cableshaft! Yes I need probably make something crazy on my site.
- TotempaaltJ 7y agoTry not to take all advice... I think gp's suggestion was aimed at a target audience of "weird people", whereas your audience–as I understand it–is neurodiverse. They don't need "weird" or "crazy" things on the site to feel at home. Besides that, something _original_ or eye catching might be worth it. But that's something that requires excellent execution.
- cableshaft 7y agoYes, you're correct, that's what I was thinking. I do think the page looks overly generic anyway though, but my suggestion is not as valid now that I know what the intended audience is.
- asdfman123 7y agoWhat, is this site for gypsy trapeze artists? You know people with common mental illnesses are just normal people, right?
- Gik 7y agoThanks, asdfman123, for your question! All people are normal and natural but those with mental dificulties are sometime strugling very much and they need some place where they could talk freely with each other and may be it could do to them much good
- cableshaft 7y agoI missed that this was a social site for common mental illnesses specifically. I thought it was more like "Freaks and Geeks" or people who consider themselves or their lifestyles to be alternative to the norm (insert whatever you like here, goths, punks, the modern day equivalent, etc). I don't think those people would necessarily be drawn to something like this. I personally have been considered a bit weird and quiet for a good chunk of my life and what the visuals said to me when I first approached it is like an executive saying "You know them social networks are popular, right? I want you to make a social network site that appeals to everyone, so make it look like every other startup website ever." It doesn't look targeted at anyone in particular. Doesn't help that the text on the page doesn't make it clear either. The hacker news headline says "unusual people", the landing page headers says "atypical people", the first bullet point says "you can chat about whatever you want" (so does every other social network ever). I admit if I read more closely further down, it would be clearer it was more social anxiety and mental illness targeted, but I had made a judgement about as fast as 95%+ of other random users would when reaching the website.
- Gik 7y agoThanks, cableshaft! Yes, it's not so clear about whom this community for. I'll make it more clear on the landing page.
- cameronbrown 7y agoThe ability to build platforms like this is what makes the web special. Nice work.
- Gik 7y agoThanks!
- mathgeek 7y ago> We have chat rooms-groups for each of the most common mental illness subject-matters. I’m not sure that is the best marketing line for a site for “unusual people.” The only thing unusual about mental illness is how common it actually is. Still, A for effort. Love the idea overall.
- om3n 7y agoJust out of curiosity, who are your target users? What does it mean to be an unusual person? I'd suggest that you get someone to edit some of the content on your front page. There are a lot of language/grammar cleanup opportunities, for example: >> How to date someone if you so insecure and nervous when trying to approach a person? Probably you have never even tried it yet. Here, at Holynetr you can easily ask someone for a walk with you knowing that your partner having the same social anxiety disorder just as you are or doesn’t mind to be with you anyway.
- Gik 7y agoThanks for your input! Yes must think about it too.
- Gik 7y agoAnd the unusual person is who experiencing mental problems
- lnsru 7y agoYou probably feel if you are unusual enough. I learned to mask it in the office or while going out. But it’s still inside me.
- ianai 7y agoThat’s everybody. Every person lives their lives as individuals and “is living the hardest life they’ll ever live” (paraphrased from a forgotten source). Not to diminish the sentiment, but to hopefully bridge the estrangement to some commonality.
- oraphalous 7y agoNo - I meet lots of people who don't struggle with meeting people at all.
- majewsky 7y agoFalse dichotomy. "Struggling with meeting people" is not synomyous with "unusual". There may be unusual people that struggle with things that seem completely natural to you.
- diminoten 7y agoThe online communities I participate in don't have landing pages, I'm in the thick of it right from the get go.
- Gik 7y agoThanks!
- deleted 7y ago[deleted]
- tacticaldev 7y agoI sincerely hope there are some measures taken for the safety of your users. Inviting individuals with social and mental difficulties can, at times, can turn into a dangerous situation. Please do your best to inform your users of the dangers of "meeting" people online, and the risks associated.
- Gik 7y agoThanks! I'll think about it for sure
- Gik 7y agoThe most beautiful place on this site is the groups page by the way
- aflag 7y agoHow do I know if I'm unusual?
- Gik 7y agoIt is if you know that for sure you know but I hope you are unusual in a good way like a superman ))
- aflag 7y agoI didn't understand that sentence.
- dlphn___xyz 7y agoHN readers are the target audience (probably)
- msmerberry 7y agoLove the idea, agree the messaging could benefit from some tweaking. ADHD, anxiety, and part of the big deal has been for me that I'm not unusual. There are lots of me. Safe space is very alluring - also agree that internet safety is KEY.
- msmerberry 7y agoAlso, holynet due to the connotation, in English, was about to make me run for the hills.
- Gik 7y agoYes, safe space for such people it's what it all about
- fastbeef 7y agoYour goal is admirable, but please, please, PLEASE consult with a lawyer before collecting any sort of health-related PII.
- Gik 7y agoThanks, i will surely consult with a lawyer before it
- RankingMember 7y agoGood on you for taking a concept and and making it real. Most projects don't make it to reality, so kudos for making this one happen. That said, I think the verbiage on the page could use some help. "Unusual" people isn't descriptive enough. If the site is for people with anxiety or some other mental issue, specify that. I also have to wonder what purpose the site will serve that an anxiety or ADHD subreddit doesn't already. I'd also recommend dropping the "doctor communication" part until you've got the site really rolling. There's a whole mess of legal issues that come with sharing medical information online.
- Gik 7y agoThanks, Ranking Member for your input! Yes unusual probably is not a right word, and maybe yes make accent on anxiety issue, legal issues is a problem too but it needs just a proper thought
- Circuits 7y agoJust want to add, you might want to have your blurbs checked for spelling and grammar. They read like they have been written by someone who's first language is not English.
- Gik 7y agoYes, I'm not very good with English language. Good but not very much. I must consider help with that. Thanks for pointing to that, Circuits.
- meerita 7y ago> If a person harassing you inside Holynetr he or she or a group of them will be banned from the system. How do you judge that? Isn't better an ignore or block feature than banning people get offended?
- Gik 7y agoThanks for your interest in my project. There is a functionality when people are not behave then other users can flag them and if it happens five times they will be banned
- luckylion 7y agoSo if five buddies flag somebody, they are automatically banned? Consider this: any system that can be gamed will be gamed and abused.
- meerita 7y agoVoila, here's the problem with these systems. Check Twitter: groups of people mass reporting other accounts for nothing and most of them get banned.
- deleted 7y ago[deleted]
- heraclius 7y agoPresumably this could be abused by the sort of people you’re trying to ban—most people wouldn’t do this sort of thing but bad faith reports are a problem on lots of social media sites.
- Gik 7y agoThanks! I must realy think about it too
- no-dr-onboard 7y agoOPSEC advice: I wouldn’t disclose the heuristics of these policies.
- the_seraphim 7y agoI like the idea, but the verbiage that you are using is not great, also there are some grammatical errors that should be corrected (msg me if you want the feedback)
- Gik 7y agoThanks, the_seraphim, for your comment! What lines of text and verbiage would you have corrected and how? If you could specify it here it would be a great help for me!
- coleifer 7y agoSuggestion: hire a copy-writer and get help with all the copy on the pages.
- Gik 7y agoThanks, coleifer for your interest, yes I must hire a copy-writer
- noname120 7y agoI'd suggest you to moderate the creation of the groups. There are some uh... dubious groups[1]. [1] https://holynetr.com/groups/penis/ https://holynetr.com/groups/penis/
- tacticaldev 7y agoyeah, that was the first thing I saw when I logged in for the first time.
- GeorgeRichard 7y agoIs this a religious (Christian) site? Some of the thumbnails and the name "holy..." seem to indicate it is. That's ok but if it is you have to be upfront - lots of people with mental health problems are atheist (like me), Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, Hindu, etc, etc, etc. I'm always interested in attempts to get us together but this looks like there's a hidden addenda. Maybe I'm overly suspicious but, you know, that's part of the way "we" are.
- Gik 7y agoThanks, GeorgeRichard! I don't mind if somebody would think that there is a religion input and maybe it really is in general but otherwise I'm not making accent on it
- injidup 7y agoWhat exactly do you mean? You seem to be the developer here so "maybe" is not really an answer. What is the religious angle of the site? I'd be concerned that the site is an aggregator for vulnerable people who will then be pitched a cure. Scientology?
- Gik 7y agoThanks, injidup, for your interest! The site is about making the life of people with such type of illness less stressful as far as I could make it. Some people here agree that the place is very welcome and can be very supportive for people with such desorders. And the pitch is not the primary thing here. I mean the doctors interest is not the main thing here. And I don't know what Scientology exactly is.
- injidup 7y agoFor sure it can be very welcoming if done correctly but you are dealing with vulnerable people and you seem to be deflecting on what the religious angle is. What people certainly don't need is to be data mined and then pitched, subtley or otherwise an e-meter test. Can you promise that this site is not a data mining operation for a religious organisation? I'm just using Scientology as a stand in. But if you are interested, they are a (pseudo) religious organisation with a habit of pitching psychological tests to vulnerable people. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scientology https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scientology
- brianpgordon 7y agoA few comments: * The front-page copy "you can easily ask someone for a walk with you knowing that your partner having the same social anxiety disorder just as you" might be difficult to realize in practice with no particular geographic focus. There's not even any way to specify a location in your profile. If this is supposed to have a dating/hookup site kind of side to it, then location should be surfaced everywhere including to the left of every forum post. * Having a field in your profile for LinkedIn seems a bit much given the target subject matter of the site. * The homepage should be your profile page or the groups page if you're already signed in
- Gik 7y agoThanks, brianpgordon, for your suggestions, I will absolutely consider them
- Foomandoonian 7y agoThis seems poorly thought out in a lot of respects, but I think specifying "unusual people" is emblematic. The kinds of people who describe them selves as 'unusual' brings to mind very conventional folks trying to project an image of 'wackiness', or otherwise people who have adopted a genuinely rare or controversial lifestyle... like freegans, nomads, cultists, furries or people with other strange kinks, etc etc. Not exactly communities with much in common! On the other hand, those with mental health issues often don't want to be considered 'unusual'. People take great comfort in knowing, for example, that depression and anxiety are actually incredibly common. After talking about the mental health features you're planning, you say "maybe you're a real geek", which again is conflating to wildly different types of 'unusual'. (Besides, in these days of superhero blockbusters is being a geek even unusual anymore?) If you want to be a site for people with mental health issues, then you need to understand that: 1) Though there's an overlap between this and niche interest subjects; the two things are VERY different, and, 2) Language is INCREDIBLY important if you want to be accepting of everyone and project that you truly understand these diverse conditions and are properly committed to supporting them.
- Foomandoonian 7y agoOh, and the slogan 'We know' is incredibly sinister. :D
- Gik 7y agoDidn't mean to be sinister, just people with mental issues used to think that nobody understand them, that's why the slogan
- neogodless 7y agoSomething like "We get it" is a bit friendlier. "We understand."
- Gik 7y agoThanks, neogodless. I'll consider it. "We understand." is good I think
- andrevaillant 7y agoHey Gik, congrats on this. IT's definitely something that you'll understand how valuable it is as people come along and use it more and more. I'm a product designer and If I can help you in some way, please reach me out. In the meantime, I'll share here some of my thoughts on what's done so far. Keep up
- Gik 7y agoThanks, andrevaillant. May be will need some help.
- peternicky 7y agoremoved comment due to
- Gik 7y agoThanks, peternicky for your comment. Yes, I'm not very proficient in English language. I must surely get some help with it. And the "unusual" word is very doubtful too I agree.
- jes5199 7y agowhat on earth
- sleavey 7y ago> Jobs board for people with psychic problems. High employment opportunity I think this has a different meaning to that intended! Did you mean "psychological" problems?
- Roritharr 7y agoIf not they should atleast not be considered for jobs that need access to sensitive information. /snark
- Gik 7y agoThanks, sleavey for good question. But sometimes very ill people can work somewhere to, for example as a courier
- sweeneyrod 7y agoYes. But they were pointing out that mentally ill people have "psychological" problems, not "psychic" ones (which implies some kind of magical mental ability).
- Gik 7y agoYes,sweeneyrod, that's true, I agree
- taurath 7y agoI think you have a fundamental lack of understanding of what sort of struggles people with mental health issues go through. Most have jobs. They're all around you. You probably have never even noticed them.
- swebs 7y ago"Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can see into the warp where the creatures from beyond our dimension offer me power in exchange for overthrowing mankind. Should I see a doctor?"
- miki123211 7y agoUnusual people != mental illnesses. I'm a blind person, and I would definitely use a site like that, as some/most people are used to thinking of blind people as aliens that are better avoided. People who don't mind talking to unusual people is exactly what I'm looking for.
- Gik 7y agoThanks, miki123211! You are very welcome!
- nirui 7y agoHey, do you consider to add a "Visitor" button beside the "Register" button on the landing page? It maybe useful for people who want to look around before deciding whether or not to continue to use the service. Just my 0.2 cents.
- Gik 7y agoThanks, nirui. Yes, I must do that I think. Though there are two links already for browsing the groups - in the footer and under hero image where is "Choose your room" line
- egypturnash 7y agoEnglish is not your first language, is it?
- rapfaria 7y agoWho says HN is not relevant anymore? Thanks for this, made my morning.
- Geee 7y agoEvery one is unusual in a different way.
- devinjflick 7y agoA few people mention an issue with the word unusual. While it actually attracted my attention in a positive way, finding that the intent of the site is to connect those with atypical mental health concerns was quite different from what I was expecting. Maybe an "online community for atypical people" would be better wording?
- Gik 7y agoThanks, devinjflick. Atypical is an enigmatic word though.
- kupiakos 7y agoIt's enigmatic, yes, but it seems to be the more common term amongst some atypical groups (neurodiverse and queer/trans people are who I have the most interaction with). There are some people who find unusual to be more pejorative than atypical.
- Gik 7y agoYes, kupiakos, pejorative is not good, I'll change it now for atypical in a few moments. Thanks for your input!
- TotempaaltJ 7y agoI quite like "neurodiverse", if you intend to be that specific.
- zepolen 7y agoAn online community for people that are almost, but not quite, entirely unlike usual
- Gik 7y agoHey, zepolen! Yes, that's great line, I must consider it too.
- throwanem 7y agoThis is super sketchy! I wonder whom it's targeting, and for whose benefit.
- Gik 7y agoHey, throwanem. I think it's basically for everyone who are mentally unusual in a problematik way but I think I must be more descriptive here of course
- throwanem 7y agoWhy don't you identify yourself? Asking people to trust you with personal information while you hide behind a throwaway account is a questionable choice in its own right.
- Gik 7y agoThere is no personal information requires except email and I'm not hiding just don't decided yet in which way to present it on the site
- sigspec 7y agoAgreed.
- Freak_NL 7y ago> This is super sketchy! The broken English and the weird "holy" part of the name alone give me the creeps. Not that I mind broken English as such (I'm not a native speaker myself), but the site doesn't show anything that points to the origin of its creator(s) (I'm guessing Eastern Europe or Northern Asia?) — it's all so abstract and feels off somehow.
- Gik 7y agoHey, Freak_NL. Yes, I'm from Eastern Europe ))
- jlv2 7y ago> Don’t worry, we’re not sharing any of your private information with anyboby and not asking for it except for your Email address. Typos and bad grammar?
- Gik 7y agoYes, I have to practice English more but I'll fix it soon, I'll try my best
- EvagohP5 7y ago4chan?
- 4ntonius8lock 7y agoOne thing: If you say community for unusual people and then at the bottom have this: "We want to help people with mental illness and social phobia to become more secure and connected, live a happier life." I personally wouldn't sign up. Being weird isn't necessarily implying mental illness and social phobia. And the fact that you seem to use it as a euphemism doesn't sit well with me. If I was looking for a site for people with mental health issues, I'd look for it directly and wouldn't mind if the site I was on used plain, clear language. Yes, some people will be offended. No, you can't please everyone. Just my 2c for the creator of the site.
- Gik 7y agoThanks, 4ntonius8lock for your time! I thought so from the start about being clear of whom this site for but then decided to present it in a more funy way. I think I need reconsider many things here.
- 4ntonius8lock 7y agoYour doing great. You are getting a project off the ground. That's what matters. Positive movement forward. Congrats on being so proactive. :)
- Gik 7y agoThanks a lot!
- jaysonelliot 7y agoAn online community is notoriously difficult to get off the ground unless you've already got a built-in audience that's waiting for it. I'd focus your efforts initially on outreach and engagement, and keeping the features of the site as simple as possible until people are clamoring for them. On another note, a number of commenters have remarked on the language issue. Much respect to you for building a site in a language that's not your native tongue, that's a lot of work! That said, just like I'd advise someone to work with a professional designer if they needed it, or a skilled coder, I'd advise you to have a professional writer create the copy on the site. Community is all about communication, and if you're going for an English-speaking audience, even the smallest nuance can have a big impact. Good luck, looks like you've got a real passion for this.
- nudpiedo 7y ago“If a person harassing you inside Holynetr he or she or a group of them will be banned from the system.” How will you prevent the abuse of this system? In other SN there are ideologically motivated gangs censoring people just because of disagreements.
- jascii 7y agoIs there a group for paranoid people? The first thing I think of is how, with our societies stigmas around mental health, peoples life's could get ruined if this site had a data leak. The second thing is how do you prevent groups preying through your site on people when they are vulnerable and recruit them into extremist ideologies and other cultish entities?
- Gik 7y agoThanks, jascii for putting that question! This is really problem but people who have abilities using internet must be smart enough to not share vulnerable information with anybody and registration on this site doesn't require any personal information yet but in the future we must think about the issues of course.
- taurath 7y agoNot to be callous, but as someone who's struggled with the feelings of "otherness" of having to deal with mental health issues, this comes across as someone with no context trying to help and making it worse. The fact is most people with mental health issues want to be a part of some sort of community. Having a mental health issue isn't a community itself - just like "people that fly on planes" isn't a community, or "people who drink coffee from starbucks". I assume that the intentions are pure here - but its both culturally and tonally offensive. It comes across as patronizing and does not meet anyone where they are - the tone of the site addresses people the way a parent would a child with poor mental faculties. I'm sorry, but I don't think you realize how "normal" people who deal with anxiety, depression, bipolar, etc are. Its almost like you've taken the view of mental illnesses from the 1950s and slapped bootstrap on it. Some examples - Grammar: > Earning points and prizes for creativity, art, hobby Language: > Jobs board for people with psychic problems Patronizing: > We know that despite your difficulties you have necessary skills and intelligence to use web applications and internet surfing. I'd beg you before you go further - meet and get to know some of the people who you're creating this site for. Theres a fundamental lack of understanding on display here.
- Gik 7y agoThanks, taurath. No, I know people with mental issues, it's not the lack of understanding it's lack of English language knowledge on my part. Obviously everything you suggesting here is true and I'll do my best to fix any wrongs on my site with the help of somebody. Thanks!
- taurath 7y agoMaybe it would help if you described a few of the people you know, and the level to which they're debilitated. There is a very wide range of ableness, and most people suffering from a mental health issue can get along in life just fine. There's a sense of... superiority that you project when you talk about people, and I have no idea where it comes from. Your site is intended to attract a wide range of people with depression, anxiety, bipolar, schizophrenia.
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- sudosteph 7y agoI know you're taking heat for it, but I kind of like the quirky wording. I'm probably a part of your target audience, and I don't have any problem with calling myself unusual. It feels a lot less loaded than "neurodiverse" or something of that ilk. And it's true. I think being able to recognize that you're unusual and that it's not inherently bad to be unusual is a powerful thing for certain people. I also like that this is a place besides reddit to talk about that stuff, because I feel awkward using my main account there to talk on certain health-related subreddits. I'll probably sign up eventually. Best of luck.
- Gik 7y agoThanks, sudosteph very much for your kind words! You are very welcome!
- DoreenMichele 7y agoThis is a really hard thing to do well. It's generally challenging to target a group of people by their identity. Yes, it gets done all the time. It also runs into a lot of issues. Sometimes, people even sue for discrimination. That doesn't mean it should never be done. I'm just saying this is a space that really takes a lot of savvy and effort to do well. Expect to really need to work at PR, positioning, messaging, moderation and similar. It's generally better to try to attract people based on mutual interests. Support groups, where the idea is that we all have some personal burden in common and this is where everyone will feel welcomed, tend to become very negative spaces where everyone is free to kvetch all day but no one can offer any constructive feedback lest they be accused of victim blaming. It's usually better to position it in a more goal-oriented fashion. So, for example, a community for diabetics will probably be a sad sac experience where everyone whines about how terrible their life is. But a community for people making their own artificial pancreas to deal with diabetes will probably be a whole other ballgame. Think about what kind of social climate you want to foster. There's a lot of bad examples out there of communities that, say, positioned themselves as free speech havens and quickly became notorious gathering spaces for pedophiles and white supremacists. This is not intended as a put down or discouragement. These are observations from someone with a lot of experience pertinent to this problem space. Best of luck.
- jevgeni 7y ago"Jobs board for people with psychic problems." Don't you mean "psychological"? Is it for people who are struggling with depression or summoning Cthulhu?
- RickS 7y agoI think I'm your target market. But this isn't the thing I expected. I have like half of the issues on the list of topical chatrooms, and I like finding new communities of cool people. But I don't want to sit in a room full of people who self-select around that locus. From a literal standpoint, ADHD, anxiety, etc are "mental illnesses", but apart from diagnostic and self-care optimizations, I don't find it productive to think of myself in those terms. I'm not excited to jump in a room of people talking about being sick. The support I want is in the form of fascinating and electric co-conspirators, and that's not a specific support I need because I'm a specific kind of ailing. That's just the support that humans need. I'm not "unusual" because I have anxiety and anxiety is weird. Anxiety is normie as fuck. I'm weird because my specific flavor of brokenness tweaked my trajectory in a way that, compounded over 30 years, is fairly off the beaten path. I wanna talk to and about people like that. It's why I'm on HN. There are so many blindingly smart people on here, and the baseline quality of takes is way above most other places. ----- But looking closer, I don't think that's this website or the plan it has. There's a thing about how soon there will be doctors involved? And a dating service? At a glance, it seems like the goal is to get a bunch of mentally ill people into a pen and then monetize them in uninspired ways.
- Gik 7y agoThanks, RickS for your comment! Yes, I don't want this site become a rooms of people talking about being sick. I want to make something special and such feedbacks as yours helps me further to understand the right path to do that special site.
- crawfordcomeaux 7y agoI am unusual and looking for other unusual people. Specifically, I seek to shed societal norms and teachings in order to get back in touch with a deeper sense of what it's like to be human. People with mental health problems are not unusual. Caring for them and treating their issues as normal aspects of humanity is unusual. I'm still going to create a group for hypersanity, but I just wanted to point out when I got the activation email identifying the site as being for people with "mental health problems," it seemed like the headline here may have been a little misleading.
- Gik 7y agoThanks, crawfordcomeaux, for your time! Yes, I have to think about the misleading headline and other aspects.
- MononokeMoon 7y agommm.. bad wording by calling people with mental health issues 'unusual' I agree. That's not going to make someone suffering feel better by being told they're not "normal"....who is normal anyway? Everyone appears normal until you get to know them.
- chachachoney 7y agoI get the impression your heart is in the right place, and you are genuinely interested in helping people. I respect that you've taken the time to develop a proof concept, and that you're asking for feedback. >>Don’t worry, we’re not sharing any of your private information with anyboby and not asking for it except for your Email address. It's good that you're aware of privacy concerns that your users might have, but you're going to have to do a lot more to gain your users trust, especially given that the current site uses 3rd party tracking and you don't mention anything about it. In addition, nearly all of the additional features proposed by the site are predicated on partnerships for services that are ripe for user data exploitation. Providing them in a manner that is respectful of users data and privacy is the real challenge in this space.
- Gik 7y agoThanks, chachachoney a lot for your feedback! Yes, privacy issues is the concern here. I mentioned that the site collects some information about users in the Privacy Policy page. Registration on the site not requires private data except email address. The Google Analytics code collects information about users' browsers, computers and their activity, nothing especially personal.
- chachachoney 7y ago>>The Google Analytics code collects information about users' browsers, computers and their activity, nothing especially personal. That's more than enough to personally identify a user. Given the sensitive nation of your site, it's one thing to ask users to trust your motives, it's another one to expect them to trust google, etc...
- emptysongglass 7y agoI'm diagnosed borderline personality disorder and at least for people suffering from BPD what they need is less of themselves. If you take a gander at the subreddit for BPD-identifying people, it's a disaster, precisely because those who struggle with BPD are so poorly equipped to help anyone else let alone themselves. The best thing I did for myself was to surround myself with the people who both displayed the traits of mental health I desired in myself and were understanding enough to forgive me when I "looped out". I've savagely fought this thing long enough to no longer be at great risk of these displays of raw emotion and decoupled thought patterns. I'd argue communities like these cause stasis, or worse, slipping backward. If you struggled with issues of identity and there were others around you struggling with such issues, would you be any more likely to feel the selective pressures to craft a stable one? No, of course not. Can I drop a little of the Buddha here? Please forgive the liberal concision I've applied to the original quote, it more or less grasps the gist: "what one thinks upon, dwells upon, one becomes." When the suffering are caught up in themselves, surrounded by their reflections, they're going to be further bent toward it. Last bit of the Buddha, promise: "And what is meant by admirable friendship? There is the case where a lay person, in whatever town or village he may dwell, spends time with householders or householders' sons, young or old, who are advanced in virtue. He talks with them, engages them in discussions. He emulates consummate conviction in those who are consummate in conviction, consummate virtue in those who are consummate in virtue, consummate generosity in those who are consummate in generosity, and consummate discernment in those who are consummate in discernment. This is called admirable friendship."
- Gik 7y agoYes, absolutely, emptysongglass, a person just wants to be happy and be surrounded by happiness and serenity, by good natured friends and forget about bad things for at least some time. But the people you would like to be with can be not only “normal” but anybody else and those who would have the same mental issues could understand you better than anyone else. It's not necessarily to talk only about pain and issues. Just to find new friends, share something interesting in life and such things. The aim of this community is just find comfort, make new friends and in the future get some help too. Thanks for your great comment, emptysongglass!
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