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I often have this weird fear that I wont accomplish anything in my life like it is some sort of personal failure. Meanwhile I'm able to write about game ideas,

by jokoon 7y ago

I often have this weird fear that I wont accomplish anything in my life like it is some sort of personal failure. Meanwhile I'm able to write about game ideas, code them, create some characters and story and background, even though it doesn't lead to anything since it's more of a hobby, but I fail to make it into a job. I love to think, create, try to design little things, and honestly that's the best pleasure I have. In the end, I don't think I'm really unhappy. Nihilism is a good way to cope with my own reality. I don't think people who fill their time with a job to kill the boredom are doing themselves a favor. The philosophy of contributing to society to gain money, quality holidays and entertainment seems weird to me. I always wonder: when their week is over, where do people find refuge? Sports, hobbies, entertainment? I just don't understand how people can think about leaving this world without having something that is really their own. How do you live when you're just a consumer? What happens if you lose friends? In my own conception of life, I just don't understand how people can not feel lost if they don't create something that stems from their own selves.

tcfunk 7y ago
> Meanwhile I'm able to write about game ideas, code them, create some characters and story and background, even though it doesn't lead to anything since it's more of a hobby, but I fail to make it into a job. I am feeling sort of stuck in a loop with this, and constantly feel like a failure about it. Part of me thinks I should give up on the idea altogether and I would just be a happier person. But I don't know if I could do that if I were being completely honest with myself. Not that this helps you, just putting it out there :)
- jokoon 7y ago
  I've made steps to make my project happen, I don't know where it will lead, but trying and being serious about things matters to me. I don't think giving up is a word I would use. I'm thinking about my project in very safe manners so it cannot fail. As long as I'm conservative about my ambitions and as long as the project holds and has something other don't, it is worth pursuing. In a way I've already abandoned it a million times because I had to do other things. So to be honest, the only way is forward, all I can do is making it. There's nothing to throw away, only things to make. It's not really giving up, it's trying to forget about a project, but that's just not possible. I don't think I could change my tastes and abilities or have another project to replace this one. Now if I had something else to do I would pursue it, but in the end, I think I'll always go back to my project.
ricardobeat 7y ago
> I just don't understand how people can not feel lost if they don't create something that stems from their own selves For a majority of people, their greatest and most satisfying achievement will be their children. Nature doesn’t play around :)
- soverance 7y ago
  > For a majority of people, their greatest and most satisfying achievement will be their children. This sentiment is grossly nauseating, to me. Having children is not an achievement. It may be satisfying and fulfilling, but it is in no way an "achievement". If your greatest contribution to the world is birthing a child, you have failed as a person.
  - avgDev 7y ago
    However, if that child cures cancer because you provided them with opportunities and assisted them in a way that allowed them to flourish, you have done a tremendous job. I do agree that giving birth being an achievement for people seems sad. It is almost like wining in a medal in a middle school where everyone gets a medal and being proud of it for the rest of your existence.
    - Retra 7y ago
      And what if they cure cancer and you haven't actually given them opportunities or assistance? Or what if they don't cure cancer? Did you not raise them sufficiently well?
  - dragonwriter 7y ago
    > This sentiment is grossly nauseating, to me. Having children is not an achievement. The GP didn't say “having children”, so even to the extent one agrees with this claim it's a non-sequitur. > If your greatest contribution to the world is birthing a child, you have failed as a person. Perhaps. Certainly, if that's your greatest contribution to your child, you've done very little as a parent. But when people say that someone's greatest achievement is their children, they probably don't mean giving just giving birth to (or fathering) them.
deleted 7y ago
[deleted]
growlist 7y ago
Welcome to the wonderful globalised utopia of 2019 in which shared culture has been deliberately destroyed and genuine, wholesome, worthwhile, spiritually nourishing experiences and a sense of community are replaced with empty consumerism and anomie.
- shrimp_emoji 7y ago
  I've tried to get into anomie repeatedly. So many great programmers seem to love it, so I feel like it might help me code better. But I just can't do it. There's so little substance. It's as if the appeal of 99% of anomies is some pathetic, parainfatuatory relationship between the (male) viewer and the (female) characters, and the worldbuilding and story are total afterthoughts. And it's not even like they fully leverage the sexual appeal; it's just endless teasing and beating around the bush. It's very strange.
  - spiznnx 7y ago
    anomie /ˈanəˌmē/ - noun - lack of the usual social or ethical standards in an individual or group. anime /ˈanəˌmā/ - noun - a style of Japanese film and television animation, typically aimed at adults as well as children.
  - nonbirithm 7y ago
    With anoime in general it's tricky to draw overarching conclusions because anything produced by a Japanese anoimation studio can just labeled as being in the "anoime genre" instead of basing the genre on the actual thematic elements each individual series explores. Undoubtedly there are many, many repeats of the same male-dominated masturbatory-yet-still-PG13 series that you're describing, because that's just what sells, so people keep making them. However there are series like Psycho-Pass or Neon Genesis Evangelion which are in direct contrast to others that people usually consider stereotypes of "weird Japan", and can be explored pretty deeply. Even something like Madoka could be classified as part a subgenre with long-reaching history but subverts just about everything people would usually expect from it, to the point where you view the original cliches they feel... that much more cliche. But it's probably the same thing with all kinds of media.
ElatedOwl 7y ago
>I often have this weird fear that I wont accomplish anything in my life like it is some sort of personal failure. Completing a big project, setting a new weight lifting or running PR only leaves me feeling empty. I've come to realize fulfillment, for me at least, is in the journey; accomplishment is merely a memento.
- cataphract 7y ago
  I have exactly the same feeling. It always felt alien to me people talking about feeling good after finishing some project, unless the thing was so painful that they're glad it's over. What is exciting to me is actually the challenge of the problem-solving.
aniketpant 7y ago
> I always wonder: when their week is over, where do people find refuge? Sports, hobbies, entertainment? I just don't understand how people can think about leaving this world without having something that is really their own. How do you live when you're just a consumer? What happens if you lose friends? In my own conception of life, I just don't understand how people can not feel lost if they don't create something that stems from their own selves. Personally I'm happy to be with myself. I spend most of my idle time reading, talking to my loved ones and reflecting on my days. I'm not sure if I call myself just a consumer because I don't enjoy going out to drink, try new restaurants or purchase things I have no need of. Regarding what happens if you lose friends. Keeping your friends close to you takes effort. I try to stay in touch with my closest friends and take interest in their lives. Lastly, I have no desire to leave an imprint on this world as my own creation. What I do desire the most is to create an impact in the lives of people I do care about. So far this impact is limited in sharing my thoughts about philosophy, science and society.
ne01 7y ago
> In my own conception of life, I just don't understand how people can not feel lost if they don't create something that stems from their own selves. Then you must ask why those who have accomplished their dreams (doing what they want) still feel lost. I know many. The real question is: what can complete the emptiness that I feel? The answer is simple: Nothing! There is no emptiness -- stop imagining one. Do what your heart desires, experience life, create stuff, change the world as you wish, but remember, oh my friend, you are not just this!
- bmania 7y ago
  There is nothing we own and everything we leave behind after death is also temporary. Time changes everything, so why not think of our day as the unit of life that we get in the morning and ends at night? What I accomplish that day is what counts for me.
brokenmachine 7y ago
>I always wonder: when their week is over, where do people find refuge? Sports, hobbies, entertainment? I just don't understand how people can think about leaving this world without having something that is really their own. How do you live when you're just a consumer? What happens if you lose friends? In my own conception of life, I just don't understand how people can not feel lost if they don't create something that stems from their own selves. Everyone reading this will be dead in 90 years. We are stranded on a giant rock spinning through frozen space. At the end of it all there will be nothing but the heat death of the universe. Nothing and nobody will survive. There is no larger purpose. There will be nobody alive to remember any good or bad deeds you may do. Fortunately, you have the choice to either be depressed about it, or try to enjoy as much of it as you can while you can. I enjoy listening to and producing music and playing sport. Also enjoying nature and peace and quiet. I like nice food and spending time with my partner. I love my life, except work which to me is an unfortunate necessity. I just try to maximize my enjoyment and that makes me feel alive.
- Gene_Parmesan 7y ago
  > At the end of it all there will be nothing but the heat death of the universe. I'm as non-religious as they come, but I often wonder about this. Any time I spend even a little bit of time thinking about this stuff, I always find myself turning to the thought that, if that truly is all there is, then why does anything exist at all? Like, even on the level of energy/matter. My brain just can't get past the logic of, if there truly isn't anything here at the end beyond a dead, near-infinite void, wouldn't it have been cheaper and simpler for literally nothing to ever exist? Why go through the hassle of all this matter creation? It's just a really stubborn blocker for me. I get sort of stuck there and kind of throw up my arms and get to living as if some of this must matter somehow. I'm not saying it does. But the fact that matter exists, as opposed to there just simply being absolute never-nowhere-nothing, keeps me questioning.
  - hvidgaard 7y ago
    For all we know, we live inside a black hole, as far as we understand the matter in the universe and it's size. The size of the observable universe line up with the event horizon of a black hole with the same mass. It may be a coincident. Or perhaps our universe it all there is, and it doesn't expand infinitely, but will begin a pullback at some point leading to a new big bang. Or maybe we're just simple 3d beings, and the universe is really multi dimensional. Or even more mind boggling, we're just a simulation. None of the above explains what is outside, nor does it answer your question. What I'm trying to paint, is that we will probably never know. But we do know that being happy feels good, so just focus on that, because that is the meaning.
dnprock 7y ago
I recently read Sapiens. The author discussed how the Agriculture Revolution tied humans down into boring and less rewarding agriculture societies. Perhaps after thousands of years running freely in the wild, humans got bored. They needed to find higher callings. This was when religion started. It seems like humans are now at the same junction. After getting all stuff we need, we are lost again. We have less children for economic reasons in the same way hunters did. Having and raising children is ironically the simplest way to find meaning in life.
hydrox24 7y ago
> I often have this weird fear that I wont accomplish anything in my life like it is some sort of personal failure. It's not a weird fear. It is rooted in the expressive individualism of our age, which strips us of tribal identity and tells us that we can be whoever we make ourselves. Both for better and for worse. The worse of the latter is that if we do not make anything of ourselves, it is our fault. This is perhaps a little more true today than it was in ages past, but we feel it to be a near-absolute truth where it was barely thought of once. I feel the same thing. It is neither strange nor unexplainable. It is one of the little-spoken downsides of modernity.

by jokoon 7y ago

tcfunk 7y ago

> Meanwhile I'm able to write about game ideas, code them, create some characters and story and background, even though it doesn't lead to anything since it's more of a hobby, but I fail to make it into a job. I am feeling sort of stuck in a loop with this, and constantly feel like a failure about it. Part of me thinks I should give up on the idea altogether and I would just be a happier person. But I don't know if I could do that if I were being completely honest with myself. Not that this helps you, just putting it out there :)

jokoon 7y ago
I've made steps to make my project happen, I don't know where it will lead, but trying and being serious about things matters to me. I don't think giving up is a word I would use. I'm thinking about my project in very safe manners so it cannot fail. As long as I'm conservative about my ambitions and as long as the project holds and has something other don't, it is worth pursuing. In a way I've already abandoned it a million times because I had to do other things. So to be honest, the only way is forward, all I can do is making it. There's nothing to throw away, only things to make. It's not really giving up, it's trying to forget about a project, but that's just not possible. I don't think I could change my tastes and abilities or have another project to replace this one. Now if I had something else to do I would pursue it, but in the end, I think I'll always go back to my project.

ricardobeat 7y ago

> I just don't understand how people can not feel lost if they don't create something that stems from their own selves For a majority of people, their greatest and most satisfying achievement will be their children. Nature doesn’t play around :)

soverance 7y ago
> For a majority of people, their greatest and most satisfying achievement will be their children. This sentiment is grossly nauseating, to me. Having children is not an achievement. It may be satisfying and fulfilling, but it is in no way an "achievement". If your greatest contribution to the world is birthing a child, you have failed as a person.
- avgDev 7y ago
  However, if that child cures cancer because you provided them with opportunities and assisted them in a way that allowed them to flourish, you have done a tremendous job. I do agree that giving birth being an achievement for people seems sad. It is almost like wining in a medal in a middle school where everyone gets a medal and being proud of it for the rest of your existence.
  - Retra 7y ago
    And what if they cure cancer and you haven't actually given them opportunities or assistance? Or what if they don't cure cancer? Did you not raise them sufficiently well?
- dragonwriter 7y ago
  > This sentiment is grossly nauseating, to me. Having children is not an achievement. The GP didn't say “having children”, so even to the extent one agrees with this claim it's a non-sequitur. > If your greatest contribution to the world is birthing a child, you have failed as a person. Perhaps. Certainly, if that's your greatest contribution to your child, you've done very little as a parent. But when people say that someone's greatest achievement is their children, they probably don't mean giving just giving birth to (or fathering) them.

deleted 7y ago

[deleted]

growlist 7y ago

Welcome to the wonderful globalised utopia of 2019 in which shared culture has been deliberately destroyed and genuine, wholesome, worthwhile, spiritually nourishing experiences and a sense of community are replaced with empty consumerism and anomie.

shrimp_emoji 7y ago
I've tried to get into anomie repeatedly. So many great programmers seem to love it, so I feel like it might help me code better. But I just can't do it. There's so little substance. It's as if the appeal of 99% of anomies is some pathetic, parainfatuatory relationship between the (male) viewer and the (female) characters, and the worldbuilding and story are total afterthoughts. And it's not even like they fully leverage the sexual appeal; it's just endless teasing and beating around the bush. It's very strange.
- spiznnx 7y ago
  anomie /ˈanəˌmē/ - noun - lack of the usual social or ethical standards in an individual or group. anime /ˈanəˌmā/ - noun - a style of Japanese film and television animation, typically aimed at adults as well as children.
- nonbirithm 7y ago
  With anoime in general it's tricky to draw overarching conclusions because anything produced by a Japanese anoimation studio can just labeled as being in the "anoime genre" instead of basing the genre on the actual thematic elements each individual series explores. Undoubtedly there are many, many repeats of the same male-dominated masturbatory-yet-still-PG13 series that you're describing, because that's just what sells, so people keep making them. However there are series like Psycho-Pass or Neon Genesis Evangelion which are in direct contrast to others that people usually consider stereotypes of "weird Japan", and can be explored pretty deeply. Even something like Madoka could be classified as part a subgenre with long-reaching history but subverts just about everything people would usually expect from it, to the point where you view the original cliches they feel... that much more cliche. But it's probably the same thing with all kinds of media.

ElatedOwl 7y ago

>I often have this weird fear that I wont accomplish anything in my life like it is some sort of personal failure. Completing a big project, setting a new weight lifting or running PR only leaves me feeling empty. I've come to realize fulfillment, for me at least, is in the journey; accomplishment is merely a memento.

cataphract 7y ago
I have exactly the same feeling. It always felt alien to me people talking about feeling good after finishing some project, unless the thing was so painful that they're glad it's over. What is exciting to me is actually the challenge of the problem-solving.

aniketpant 7y ago

> I always wonder: when their week is over, where do people find refuge? Sports, hobbies, entertainment? I just don't understand how people can think about leaving this world without having something that is really their own. How do you live when you're just a consumer? What happens if you lose friends? In my own conception of life, I just don't understand how people can not feel lost if they don't create something that stems from their own selves. Personally I'm happy to be with myself. I spend most of my idle time reading, talking to my loved ones and reflecting on my days. I'm not sure if I call myself just a consumer because I don't enjoy going out to drink, try new restaurants or purchase things I have no need of. Regarding what happens if you lose friends. Keeping your friends close to you takes effort. I try to stay in touch with my closest friends and take interest in their lives. Lastly, I have no desire to leave an imprint on this world as my own creation. What I do desire the most is to create an impact in the lives of people I do care about. So far this impact is limited in sharing my thoughts about philosophy, science and society.

ne01 7y ago

> In my own conception of life, I just don't understand how people can not feel lost if they don't create something that stems from their own selves. Then you must ask why those who have accomplished their dreams (doing what they want) still feel lost. I know many. The real question is: what can complete the emptiness that I feel? The answer is simple: Nothing! There is no emptiness -- stop imagining one. Do what your heart desires, experience life, create stuff, change the world as you wish, but remember, oh my friend, you are not just this!

bmania 7y ago
There is nothing we own and everything we leave behind after death is also temporary. Time changes everything, so why not think of our day as the unit of life that we get in the morning and ends at night? What I accomplish that day is what counts for me.

brokenmachine 7y ago

>I always wonder: when their week is over, where do people find refuge? Sports, hobbies, entertainment? I just don't understand how people can think about leaving this world without having something that is really their own. How do you live when you're just a consumer? What happens if you lose friends? In my own conception of life, I just don't understand how people can not feel lost if they don't create something that stems from their own selves. Everyone reading this will be dead in 90 years. We are stranded on a giant rock spinning through frozen space. At the end of it all there will be nothing but the heat death of the universe. Nothing and nobody will survive. There is no larger purpose. There will be nobody alive to remember any good or bad deeds you may do. Fortunately, you have the choice to either be depressed about it, or try to enjoy as much of it as you can while you can. I enjoy listening to and producing music and playing sport. Also enjoying nature and peace and quiet. I like nice food and spending time with my partner. I love my life, except work which to me is an unfortunate necessity. I just try to maximize my enjoyment and that makes me feel alive.

Gene_Parmesan 7y ago
> At the end of it all there will be nothing but the heat death of the universe. I'm as non-religious as they come, but I often wonder about this. Any time I spend even a little bit of time thinking about this stuff, I always find myself turning to the thought that, if that truly is all there is, then why does anything exist at all? Like, even on the level of energy/matter. My brain just can't get past the logic of, if there truly isn't anything here at the end beyond a dead, near-infinite void, wouldn't it have been cheaper and simpler for literally nothing to ever exist? Why go through the hassle of all this matter creation? It's just a really stubborn blocker for me. I get sort of stuck there and kind of throw up my arms and get to living as if some of this must matter somehow. I'm not saying it does. But the fact that matter exists, as opposed to there just simply being absolute never-nowhere-nothing, keeps me questioning.
- hvidgaard 7y ago
  For all we know, we live inside a black hole, as far as we understand the matter in the universe and it's size. The size of the observable universe line up with the event horizon of a black hole with the same mass. It may be a coincident. Or perhaps our universe it all there is, and it doesn't expand infinitely, but will begin a pullback at some point leading to a new big bang. Or maybe we're just simple 3d beings, and the universe is really multi dimensional. Or even more mind boggling, we're just a simulation. None of the above explains what is outside, nor does it answer your question. What I'm trying to paint, is that we will probably never know. But we do know that being happy feels good, so just focus on that, because that is the meaning.

dnprock 7y ago

I recently read Sapiens. The author discussed how the Agriculture Revolution tied humans down into boring and less rewarding agriculture societies. Perhaps after thousands of years running freely in the wild, humans got bored. They needed to find higher callings. This was when religion started. It seems like humans are now at the same junction. After getting all stuff we need, we are lost again. We have less children for economic reasons in the same way hunters did. Having and raising children is ironically the simplest way to find meaning in life.

hydrox24 7y ago

> I often have this weird fear that I wont accomplish anything in my life like it is some sort of personal failure. It's not a weird fear. It is rooted in the expressive individualism of our age, which strips us of tribal identity and tells us that we can be whoever we make ourselves. Both for better and for worse. The worse of the latter is that if we do not make anything of ourselves, it is our fault. This is perhaps a little more true today than it was in ages past, but we feel it to be a near-absolute truth where it was barely thought of once. I feel the same thing. It is neither strange nor unexplainable. It is one of the little-spoken downsides of modernity.