14 ms·

This Is Silicon Valley

140 points by yirgacheffe 8y ago

conanbatt 8y ago
Its a rant but I'm also surprised at how she writes "people's perfect life". Whats perfect about San Francisco, that has such a low demographic representation of family, the city is super dirty, people live with 6 figure salaries live in terrible housing conditions. Maybe google gets to shelter their employees from a lot of the cruft of SF, but walk 2 blocks away from the google offices in SF and you'll get yelled at by homeless people. Also sad that the writer does not see a correlation between homelessness and public policy, but blames it to income inequality due to the tech companies. Without tech companies SF as a dump would not be masked by 6 dollar coffee.
- crushcrashcrush 8y ago
  I also look at this as - individuals have so much wealth, along with these companies, yet no one is doing a single fucking thing to help the homeless. Facebook and Google could reverse their negative PR so quickly if they actually put some money meaningfully toward the problem, not into fake tax shelters for their founders.
  - asdffdsa 8y ago
    define "meaningfully", keeping in mind the city spends hundreds of millions on homelessness already (kind of insulting and ignorant to say "no one is doing a single fucking thing")
  - nieksand 8y ago
    Does SFO homelessness really have a shortage of money being thrown at the problem?
  - jeffreyrogers 8y ago
    How would you solve it? I think it's a really tough problem and a significant fraction of the homeless population has serious mental health problems. I live in a city (Salt Lake City) that did a great job fixing its homelessness problem... for a couple of years. Now it's worse than it has ever been. Partly this is because more homeless people are coming to the area because they've heard about how great the resources here are. The problem with trying to solve homelessness is that most things that work to solve it incentivize more homeless people to move to the area that is solving the problem. At least that's what it seems like to me.
    - crushcrashcrush 8y ago
      It's simple. We need more fucking housing. Period. End of story. We need condo towers. We need townhomes. We need mid-rises. And secondly, we need free and low cost mental health services. That's it. Problem solved. The problem is we're 20 years behind.
      - rak00n 8y ago
        Nope, your just indentfied the problem that needs to be solved. You haven't "solved" the problem, which is massively more complex.
        crushcrashcrush 8y ago
        You must be really fun at cocktail parties.
      - notacoward 8y ago
        More affordable housing only solves a problem for those with moderate incomes. Evidence: every other city in the US that has cheaper housing but also still plenty of homeless. Free and low-cost mental health services are closer to the mark, but still far from a simple problem. Many homeless people have complex, multi-faceted problems. Many resist initial contact. Many have trouble with maintaining any kind of regular schedule for either medication or counseling. Funding that many therapists (not just head-counters) and ensuring their security is a challenge unto itself. Not a simple problem at all. If there's one thing that makes Silicon Valley unpleasant to me, it's the "simple, just do X" hand-wave that so many there indulge in regarding every damn topic. I'm sure your job isn't so simple a child could do it. Why act like everybody else's is?
    - Nasrudith 8y ago
      Really I think that hints that homelessness should be addressed federally just to stop the buck passing. Not helping matters is the electoral college biasing against urban areas where homelessness is more of a problem.
  - aeorgnoieang 8y ago
    How many homeless people could one even very wealthy person help in San Fransisco or Silicon Valley? Even just building a homeless shelter, which I think are still uniformly pretty terrible places, is probably near-impossible; and not just because of the opposition from residents to them being built in their areas or neighborhoods, but also the regular, general opposition to any new development. And just giving homeless people a better place to live is only one, tho extremely important, dimension along which homeless people can be helped. And then of course one should expect side-effects to any help one would give, e.g. increasing 'demand' for help for homeless people. I'd imagine one reason why there's so many homeless people in San Fransisco is that it's already one of the best places to be homeless.
  - conanbatt 8y ago
    Its true private could solve it, but there is a crowding out effect as well as a double-charging effect. The city announces it spends 400 million on homelessness and fails, while it spends 2600U$S a month per household. If you are a private worker you pay a monopoly surplus to the landlord and then get taxed to hell, and then you would give charity to help the homelessness the previous two mostly provoke? Hell no.
  - conanbatt 8y ago
    It would probably be illegal for facebook and google to run a homeless shelter in san francisco. The city would never allow such a thing to happen, because they want first-right to spend.
- sershe 8y ago
  You have to yell back at homeless people, keeps you energized. Someone I know working a very good (esp. by Russian standards) tech job in Russia told me that he wouldn't want to live in the US or especially Europe, because the everyday struggle in Russia is what makes one feel alive. Only half-joking ;)
infinteLooping 8y ago
Love how the map doesn't even show the actual "Silicon Valley". Anyways this is also why I now prefer to live with "non-techies". It's a great way to separate work life from home/personal life. Just hard to find roommates who can afford to live here and are also not engineers/techies.
zyncl19 8y ago
The map doesn't show Silicon Valley
- svachalek 8y ago
  It's definitely migrating north over the years. Some would argue it's centered in SF now, which I'd disagree with, but I have to admit it's moving that way.
matchbok 8y ago
>The lack of diversity doesn’t stop at work — it permeates every aspect of life. Everyone wears Patagonia and North Face, everyone has AirPods hanging from their ears, and everyone goes to Lake Tahoe on weekends. And everyone talks about the same things: startups, blockchain, machine learning, and startups with blockchain and machine learning. Superficial, much? This entire article sounds like a parody.
- smacktoward 8y ago
  HN, where wishing you could talk to your neighbors and co-workers about something other than blockchain makes you superficial.
  - crushcrashcrush 8y ago
    Exactly. The problem isn't the writer of this piece, it's the person you're replying to. pot/kettle/black/etc
    - matchbok 8y ago
      Please look up superficial in the dictionary.
    - CompanionCuuube 8y ago
      It's mind boggling that a criticism of the narrowness of a monoculture is being called superficial.
      - crushcrashcrush 8y ago
        Welcome to HN!
      - matchbok 8y ago
        But, it's not monoculture. At all. You are making a judgement call with that. An extremely wrong one at that.
joncrane 8y ago
Meh. Extreme circumstances result in extreme behaviors. It's a story as old at time.
- jfrankamp 8y ago
  The start of the story is. This one has a different ending though w/ climate change. We'll optimize our ad spend right up until the end.
erulabs 8y ago
Weird flex, but okay. But seriously, it’s hard to read “look how tough we have it” about getting a 6 figure job out of school. You didn’t get into Harvard. That’s not a life defining tragedy... hoping this is parody. The vast vast vast majority of the world works harder for less. We should be thankful, not weirdly bragging about how hard our childhoods were. Try Detroit or Bangladesh....
- apl002 8y ago
  A problem we have in the world today is just an overall lack of empathy. Just because people have material things better than people in other parts of the world doesn't mean they don't experience problems and struggles. Your comment implies money (or being well off) = happiness. We all know that isn't true. Have some empathy and just be happy you might be able to handle problems living in SV better then others
- misiti3780 8y ago
  I agree with the Harvard thing, in the grand scheme of things, hopefully that floats to the bottom
- nielsbot 8y ago
  I think the author is making the opposite point: that having a 6-figure job out of school is cushy and anomalous outside of Silicon Valley
- danbmil99 8y ago
  this is not parody. Perhaps you would be more sympathetic to the perspective of the OP if you were raising children here.
  - misiti3780 8y ago
    I don't think raising kids has anything to do with. If you're a parent and your main hope and dream is your kids go to harvard, you're doing something wrong.
    - 8y ago
cpr 8y ago
So moving away in the hopes that SV will magically get better while you're away? Doesn't sound like a practical plan.
- smacktoward 8y ago
  The only alternative is the one Mario Savio (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mario_Savio https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mario_Savio) famously described at Berkeley in 1964: > There's a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at heart, that you can't take part! You can't even passively take part! And you've got to put your bodies upon the gears and upon the wheels... upon the levers, upon all the apparatus, and you've got to make it stop! And you've got to indicate to the people who run it, to the people who own it, that unless you're free, the machine will be prevented from working at all! The only way change happens is when people go that way instead. But putting your body "upon the gears" is a really hard thing to do; it means a life spent fighting mostly losing battles and foregoing most of the conventional consolations life offers, like family and social acceptance and material comfort. In other words it's asking someone to be a hero, and while I wish we had more heroes, I can't blame anyone for not leaping up to volunteer for the job.
- quest88 8y ago
  I had the same feelings. "I care so much about these things that I'm going to leave and hope it works out!". Let's add another piece to the article: "Well paid tech employees would rather look the other way, some even leaving, instead of putting in the tough effort of making change. But tech employees are used to other people doing things for them. They hire dog walkers to walk their dog, cleaners for their homes, and laundry services to do their laundry. This is silicon valley."
yalogin 8y ago
San Francisco definitely feels like that to me. Everyone and everything just seem like they are part of a cult and worshipping at altar of startups. I can't explain it.
- nielsbot 8y ago
  It's an industry town now. I personally worry how sustainable it is to have a city that's just "high paid white startup workers and fancy restaurants." I think a more diverse and affordable San Francisco would benefit all its residents.
  - gowld 8y ago
    It's interesting how Chinese and Indian people are hated for being "white" now, not long after they were hated for being non-white.
    - nielsbot 8y ago
      Is that happening? I used "white" as a stereotype to make a point, but maybe that was a bad choice.
    - dragonwriter 8y ago
      They are still hated for being not-white, regardless of the fact (if it is one) that their not-whiteness is discounted by some other not-white people leaving them lumped in with white people in resentment of the visible, economically advantaged (from the perspective of other non-whites) groups. White America is hardly free of racism targeting East and South Asians (or Central or Southwest or any other Asians, for that matter.)
  - nubbins 8y ago
    Whenever I visit, SF still feels more human scale, relaxed, less anonymous, and more friendly to me than the shrine to global commerce that is most of Manhattan. But I trust people who live there who say its getting worse and its a lot smaller so I guess its more at risk of being colonized by a tech monoculture.
pulsarpietro 8y ago
Thanks for writing this.
RcouF1uZ4gsC 8y ago
>In my liberal arts college, conversations varied dramatically, from British literature to public policy to moral philosophy to socioeconomic inequality. Compare this to my product management program filled with new grads, where even social conversations revolve around tech — whether it’s spilling the hottest gossip on the new VP, plotting how to get “double promoted” from a Level 3 to a Level 5 product manager in exactly 22 months, or debriefing where the top angel investors get drinks on Thursday nights. (And yes, Silicon Valley has an alcohol and drug problem, too). Attempts to hold discussions about social issues are often met with bored faces and are quickly terminated. For example, a friend in the program and I have brought up climate change on many occasions, since it’s an issue we’re particularly passionate about. We’ve mentioned the worsening air quality in light of the Camp Fire that devastated more than 150,000 acres of Northern California, lamented the fact that Google still uses plastic water bottles and straws, and encouraged others to donate to environmental organizations during our company’s giving week. Each time, we were met with silence. Unless you embrace the orthodoxy on these positions, you would be a fool to talk about them at work. Basically, these "discussions" are met with bored faces because either 1) people agree with the position and it feels like "preaching to the choir", or 2) people disagree with the position, but don't want to endanger their nice job by taking a position against the orthodoxy. Given the above, people talk about safe topics like tech, investing, and insider gossip.
- badpun 8y ago
  Politics became the new religion for a lot of people and they act a lot like religious zealots - they feel very strongly about their worldview and will defend it, and at the same time, they're not interested in other points of view. So, just as it was never wise to discuss religion in a work environment, now it's better to not talk politics.
  - eanzenberg 8y ago
    This is the bubble we should be talking about.
rsweeney21 8y ago
I totally bought into the Silicon Valley dream. I moved to the bay area to work at Netflix and launch a startup. I bootstrapped my first company because I didn't know how to raise VC money. That was pretty great. For my second company I raised millions of dollars from VCs. I went to exclusive parties, did press interviews and had a huge net-worth (on paper). I became the person I always envied. It was HUGELY disappointing. I remember being at the company party after we closed our series A and thinking, "Is this it?". I was expecting a much stronger sense of accomplishment. I'm curious what the experience was like for other founders. For me, I realized that what I thought was going to make me happy, didn't. Not only did it not give me the happiness and satisfaction I was hoping for, it ate up some many other parts of my life that do bring me real happiness - family life, friends, traveling, adventure. The deeper I dig into the world of startups and VC the more I realize that it's very much not what it seems.
- rdiddly 8y ago
  The best things in life are free. Sometimes old aphorisms are right on the money, no pun intended.
- crushcrashcrush 8y ago
  I had a mild exit and bought a sports car. I thought it would make me happy, it didn't. Good luck on your quest for true meaning. You won't find it here.
- Konnstann 8y ago
  To me it seems like taking huge sums of money from investors isn't as satisfying as bootstrapping just from the perspective of survival. VC startups burn money all the time, they aren't fighting for survival. You can't burn money if you bootstrap because then your company just dies.
- smallgovt 8y ago
  The disappointment you describe is either because your achievements don't actually contribute to your core values or the benefits are short lived. I recommend taking some time to figure out what your core values are. Why did you want to start a successful startup? What were you really chasing after? Some superficial answers might be financial security or social status, but you should keep asking why these things are important until you arrive at something that is important just because you feel it is. These are your core values. Once you figure out your core values, you'll find that: 1) The event that resulted in disappointment either didn't contribute to one of your core values 2) The core value that you've identified is partially out of your control, and so, your achievement made you feel good, but it was only temporary. To me, values are the measuring sticks by which people quantify success in life. Whether or not we realize it, we constantly measure our actions against our values, and how we 'measure up' determines our self-worth. Once we actually know what we value, we can either change those values (bc they are too extrinsic), or design our life to optimally fulfill them.
largehotcoffee 8y ago
The author graduated from college last year.
- jiveturkey 8y ago
  Ah, now I understand the "four year hiatus". And the lack of perspective. In another comment I suggested she move to Sacto. I'm thinking instead she should spend a year abroad.
crushcrashcrush 8y ago
I'm gonna offer a slightly different perspective: SV isn't that nice, and it's not worth the price premium. There is a distinct lack of culture, of nightlife, of arts and humanities - even in San Francisco. We're a mediocre land of strip malls and suburbs masquerading as an international destination. Go to any other city and tell me that it's not MORE vibrant (Chicago, LA, NYC, Miami, Austin, Portland, Seattle, Houston, Toronto, London, Paris, etc.) It just isn't worth the price premium. Restaurants close at 9:30 (why do people eat so early?) - lack of beautiful modern mid-rise and hi-rise condo housing, lack of public transportation, last-call is at 1:30PM... it really sucks here. hard.
- crushcrashcrush 8y ago
  Also, I'd like to point out that if you have a family, and have settled into a sort of more standard family life, SV is great - if you can afford it. If you're a young(er) single person, my god literally anywhere else is better to live. For example - if you're on Tinder, use the "passport" feature to set your profile to NYC for two days. Let me know the number of matches you get.
  - xiphias2 8y ago
    I was living in Zurich and before Tinder I had no idea how much difference can my sexual value be between cities. I really wish I knew that my dating life would have been so much easier if I move to NYC.
    - crushcrashcrush 8y ago
      Dating in Silicon Valley is legitimately awful. It's staggeringly bad.
      - jonathankoren 8y ago
        I often think back to this obviously first coffee date I came across one weekend at Red Rock in Mountain View. The woman came in, she's dressed nice, walks in with confidence, and finds her date, who is dressed like a schlub wearing a faded free company t-shirt, and couldn't even bother to comb his hair. If I was her, there wouldn't have been a second date.
Para2016 8y ago
I had to stop reading this. The complaints of a wealthy narcissist and her wonderful childhood are absurd, despicable even.
- thedz 8y ago
  Did... you read the same article I did? The author describes a hyper competitive childhood that explicit took a mental and physical toll on the student body
  - eeeeeeeeeeeee 8y ago
    It seems a lot of people commenting here basically just see money == happiness. Basically, these commenters are proving the article’s point. Why be depressed when you have money? Who needs empathy for the homeless when you live in a gated community away from them?
    - Nasrudith 8y ago
      It is a lack of scope for the problems - people would understand "even being rich being stuck in a wheelchair/an orphan/etc. still sucks it beats being poor and x". Given that they are in a better situation than most and no experience with the problems it gets triaged as "not really a problem".
  - Para2016 8y ago
    Yes. I grew up in a lower middle class family with uneducated parents. Then I was enlisted in the military. Now I'm a resident physician working primarily in a county hospital. So when I say someone is a narcissist it's backed up by current DSM knowledge. And when I say despicable, I say it knowing that this spoiled author has no idea how the majority of America lives. SV types seem to not understand that a "hyper competitive" educational environment is not a pitiable condition.
narrator 8y ago
I did badly in high school and ok in college, and still got a six figure job because I had natural programming talent. I had an enormous amount of fun in High School though. There are things you can do and get away with when you are a teenager that you will not be able to do for the rest of your life, so have a good time! Don't break your brain with sketchy drugs though. As the movie "The Boys and Girls Guide to Getting Down"[1] states. There are "fun" drugs and there are "sketchy" drugs. Stay away from Sketchy drugs. Besides, going to a good school doesn't matter if you have no talent. You'll just burn out and get crap grades. Life at that stage is about figuring out the nexus of what your good at, what you like, and what you can get paid for. Trying to fit a square peg in a round hole is not a good strategy for this. [1]https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Boys_%26_Girls_Guide_to_Getting_Down https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Boys_%26_Girls_Guide_to_Ge...
seibelj 8y ago
I think it's more professional not to encourage talking about politics at work. It is unrelated to your job and is more likely to divide people than bring everyone together, unless the author would be happy if someone said they didn't care or disagreed with whatever issues they are passionate about.
- lifeformed 8y ago
  It doesn't sound like the author is just referring to work conversations, but in her whole social life.
- sgarman 8y ago
  Obviously there is a plethora of reasons to not talk politics at work, but is "unrelated to your job" really one of them? I can't think of a single major startup who's success and direction are not directly influenced by the political landscape. Perhaps your mindset is employees should just do tasks assigned and not be interested or vested in their work and companies raison d'etre (assuming it's more then just making $$$$). IMO that attitude is how we get to what the author is explaining in this article.
  - crushcrashcrush 8y ago
    >> IMO that attitude is how we get to what the author is explaining in this article. clap emoji
  - seibelj 8y ago
    No, I don’t want to talk about politics. If there is a specific issue or bill that will affect our business directly, then sure. But I don’t want to get worked up about politics when what we need to do is succeed as a business.
kenneth 8y ago
> The weather is lovely, the crime rate is low, and the schools are well funded. Low crime… do we live in the same bay area?
- david927 8y ago
  I laughed at that too. And "well-funded schools" very much depends on where you live.
JohnFen 8y ago
"This is Silicon Valley. Who wouldn’t want to live here?" I wouldn't! I find Silicon Valley to be a very creepy, disturbing, and depressing place. I don't live there (but I go there fairly regularly), and so have no comment on the experience of people who do, but the author's description does dovetail nicely into my own outsider's perception of the place.
throwaway-1283 8y ago
My biggest issue with SF tech scene (after having worked in it for several years now) is that in order to be successful you really need to drink the Koolaid, which requires extreme emotional investment in your work. I've come to realize that I am not programmed that way at all, and it has made it difficult for me to really be happy working in that kind of environment.
cabaalis 8y ago
> So, I’m leaving. But I do hope to come back someday. You've made what I think is a good choice. Don't turn it into a bad one by just going to some different urban center. You will learn that there are hard-working, good-natured, intelligent people all over the country living in very diverse neighborhoods. They understand math and engineering just as well as you do, yet they are constantly told they are flyover hicks whose opinions don't matter, since "talent" wants to ride on trains to work.
- cknoxrun 8y ago
  I live and co-founded my current company in a colder northern Canadian city. Often we get derided by larger urban centres in Canada, similar to being labeled "flyover" country. But what I've found is that there is a sweet spot in terms of city size (mine is about 1 million) where the community feels small enough that people seem to legitimately care about each other, and champion each other's successes, but the benefits of an urban lifestyle are still available. It's a good life, filled with diversity and genuine people, but the choice is still there to ride trains to work.
  - robterrell 8y ago
    What city is this?
    - 131012 8y ago
      Most likely Edmonton, unless parent was loose with his 1M pop estimate.
  - triviatise 8y ago
    Austin is still like this (pop 1M). You can be anywhere in town and still run into people you know. People can still work 9 to 5 and comfortably raise a family. While it is becoming more pretentious with tech money, it isn't too bad. Austin is a tier 4 city that can at times still feel like a small town with some bigger city amenities.
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jiveturkey 8y ago
Interesting juxtaposition of non-PC "black" and PC "latinx" in the same sentence! Surely that says something about the author although I'm not quite sure what.
- crushcrashcrush 8y ago
  Black is not non-PC.
- nieksand 8y ago
  Is "black" really not considered PC?
- uxp100 8y ago
  I think black is the "PC" term. Poc is more broad, and african-american is seen as outdated to some. It certainly reflects different ideas of one's identity.
  - jiveturkey 8y ago
    Black is certainly the most correct term, but african-american still dominates. My comment is not about how one views one's own identity, which yes, these are different reflections, it's about how others want to tread lightly to avoid any perceived slight. IOW, PC for PC sake.
gpsx 8y ago
Wow. I'm shocked by the comments here. If the author reads these I am sure she will give up all hope for the area. Of course a number of commenters didn't actually finish the article.
thedz 8y ago
Did some of y'all stop reading at half of the first sentence? The article isn't a parody, and is expressly saying that SF/Silicon Valley can be a pretty bad place to live, specifically with regards to the author mental health. I'm not sure how people are getting from this piece that SF is a great place with no problems
- david927 8y ago
  I applaud bringing up some of the unseen issues, especially regarding mental health, of the area. But if you walk down a street in SF you risk stepping on a needle or human feces. It's a catastrophe and some of the issues raised here seem to pale in comparison.
bjohnsonsv 8y ago
Somber, sobering truth. It is discouraging that young people are giving up and leaving because of the lack of critical mass of caring people who "don't have the time" to roll up sleeves and help make change. They're too busy pursuing that "perfect life" to see that life is never perfect, but can be perfectly fulfilling when helping others.
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pea 8y ago
I grew up and went to school in Silicon Valley ('02 - '08), and remember one of the most stark contrasts was the difference in sociodemographics when you crossed from Palo Alto to EPA. Crazy difference in school quality, poverty, etc; it was unimaginable that people could live so close to one another and have such a different experience. I don't remember the really extreme academic pressures in high school that OP mentioned in Mountain View/Los Altos area, though. After recently being back, one of the things that really hit me was what a monoculture it seemed. Of course in the 2000s a lot of people worked in tech, but it had a really different vibe to it now; it was never that obvious before when you spoke to them, and peoples' parents had a wide variety of jobs. SF seemed more like a normal city. When I spend time there now, after living in London, it does seem really, really homogenous. This is quite possibly a huge bias on my part as I was a teenager.
- crushcrashcrush 8y ago
  I pitched VICE media to do a story on the 101 Exit going North that has a split - Palo Alto and East Palo Alto. The redlining and pure racism that Palo Alto was founded on is astounding. The bulldozing of whiskey row/gultch to build the (hideous!) Four Seasons tower there. Really terrible history around here.
keko039ndnfm 8y ago
There are a number of surveys and and stats gathered that argue most college grads are straight jacketed thinkers just like the majority They’re simply thinking about “the right stuff” to get higher paying jobs And a number of surveys and research where college grads self describe as lacking sufficient critical thinking skills It’s what human societies do; ram the popular meme down their kids throats, be it Christianity or whatever, and pressure them, explicitly or tacitly, to comply or be left behind by their culture Feed the meme of free market neoliberalism by helping the Uber rich buy up more control of our time A CEO today is akin to a regional baron or lord or whatever from yesterday. We’re pushed to focus on conversations that are all about corporate value, not human value, being tacitly lead to believe there is an invisible hand making sure the latter is being handled while we lean into our conviction to the righteousness of the former. TL;DR nothing here is new. Humanity has a long history of exactly what this article is describing. Social wellness programs are, IMO the path forward. Portugal and it’s approach to drugs, and the northern EU countries seem fine. I suppose America will continue to pretend it’s some how a unique subset of the human species though.
DoofusOfDeath 8y ago
It seems to me that the author is having a fairly common experience: a sense of disillusion as one enters early adulthood. The realization that some expectations of adulthood are not in fact true, and doubly so in the corporate working world. The suspicion that some of the striving done during adolescence was in vain, or towards goals whose ultimate value is limited. I'm actually happy for the author, because she's realized these things early on, rather than having to look back at her 20's and 30's with a profound sense of regret. I hope she'll find a new path with which she can have long-term satisfaction.
rdiddly 8y ago
My brief experience of Silicon Valley in the 90s was that people there didn't give an inch or a damn. Now 25 years later I guess those people have been raising kids.
jiveturkey 8y ago
> So, I’m leaving. Implied: in the hopes of finding a place/community where her penchant for social and larger scale issues are top of mind. I understand her complaint, which comes from being a well-off Upper Middle Class person with liberal values, but frustrated by inability to move the needle. Yes, this is Silicon Valley. But this is every liberal city. (minus the high school pressure tho.) I wish she would tell us where she is moving to. She should move to Sacramento. Close enough to SV, and she can hate on all the weekend Tahoe traffic. But where she can find a group of soulmates that care about and are actually doing something about the social issues she cares about.
SamuelAdams 8y ago
As someone not in the valley (Michigan resident here), do other jobs not exist? I'm sure nurses, financial analysts, and auto mechanics love to go to Lake Tahoe and talk about their professions. It sounds to me like the OP doesn't like spending 100% of her time in the tech sphere. And that's fine. Find people who are in completely unrelated fields, and become friends with them. Spend 50% of your time at work, in the tech world. Then leave work and spend the other 50% talking to different people about more diverse problems.
- NTDF9 8y ago
  Let me explain the monotone. In Michigan, if you go knock on the door of your neighbors, what is the probability that they work in the same industry as you? In SV, the probability that they work in tech is very very high (99% in my case, the 1% is an old retired engineer). SV's monotone is a bubble of gigantic proportions. Everyone is in tech. There are no auto-mechanics living nearby (they drive in from 1.5 hours away)
lordnacho 8y ago
I think I can see why the teenagers are so angsty. The problem when you grow up surrounded by an elite is you really want to join the elite. This is what everyone mentions about the bay area: there's lots of 6 figure jobs, but everything is expensive even if you have one. And how do you get these jobs? The standard path, and that's just about all you'll hear as a kid, is get good grades, get into a good school, do internships, interview well and then you're on the ladder. If you fall off the ladder, you'll know just enough friends to go green with envy, and you won't be able to afford anything. The thing is teenagers who are going to be part of the elite tend to be clumped together in their affluent schools. They see disproportionately many other success stories, and they see other kids pushing themselves as well. All I can say is when you get a little older, your circles widen. Or they CAN widen, it's up to you who you hang out with. Also, you tend to get a bit less intense, nothing really bothers you as much as when you were young.
bproven 8y ago
"It’s where everyone wants something from you, and you never know when someone will betray you because they want something from someone else more." This is the part I really hated about SV and the bay area.
president 8y ago
People that enjoy living in Silicon Valley are either delusional, have never lived anywhere else in their life, or moved here from the middle of nowhere. The only thing this soul-less valley is good for is tech and money. If that's not what you base your life on (most normal people with a life), then you're not going to like it. Most people I've talked with (excluding new college grads and people in their 1-2 year Valley honeymoon phase) don't plan on staying here permanently.
- Nasrudith 8y ago
  Listing the middle of nowhere as a dismissive qualifier seems ironic in contrast with lived their their whole life. Perhaps you are taking things for granted about it or your preferred location.
berlinerluft 8y ago
Personally I find discussing machine learning and blockchain more interesting than discussing diversity (yet again). Also, perhaps she could have a bigger impact in SV where few people are woke, than in some place where everybody is woke.
- DoofusOfDeath 8y ago
  I don't think she was focusing on the relative interesting-ness of diversity vs. {ML, blockchain}. Rather, it was about the narrow focus on such a small set of discussion topics.
  - berlinerluft 8y ago
    I find it difficult to believe that even in SV people have no other things to talk about.
bargl 8y ago
I grew up in a church. I know churches aren't perfect but man I miss that community. OK so I actually grew up in 2 churches, Mormon and Catholic on alternating weekends. A friend of mine suggested (also previously Mormon) that we create a church called, "Good without God". I love the idea because I have seen the good that having a community can do for many (not all) and for the community. I miss going to a place that pushed people to be "good" (air quotes because different people and even religions define this differently). Anyway, this is something I think we're missing from our culture right now. I'm finding it for myself in other places right now, but it's not quite the same. This is one of my more rambling comments, sorry about that.
cromwellian 8y ago
How much of the author's early childhood stress is the result not of SV, but of tiger mom/dad competitiveness? Kids crying over getting an A- and being loaded up with 7 after school classes and college prep activities usually indicates parental pressure more than peer pressure. So some of her commentary is transferring blame to SV culture as a whole for what is probably a result of the culture of the parents.
- Apocryphon 8y ago
  Tiger mom parenting has become a part of SV culture, or at least many schools in SV.
  - cromwellian 8y ago
    True but it’s much more prevalent in first generation immigrant families especially from Asia, so there’s some selection bias. Yes, some areas can be 30-90% this demographic makeup (eg cupertino schools) but it is not the norm for the entire Bay Area.
    - Apocryphon 8y ago
      Right, but since the article is talking about the SV elite (both in terms of educational and economic attainment, and one follows the other), it seems pertinent.
mnm1 8y ago
Funny how the lack of diversity (% of people employed from each race) exactly mirrors this graph of wealth by race in America: https://www.forbes.com/sites/laurashin/2015/03/26/the-racial-wealth-gap-why-a-typical-white-household-has-16-times-the-wealth-of-a-black-one/#3627bc671f45 https://www.forbes.com/sites/laurashin/2015/03/26/the-racial... Who'd have thought?
throwaway-1283 8y ago
Curious for anyone living in SF/SV and thinking about moving - what are your top choices?
- Redoubts 8y ago
  NY/CHI/PDX
deleted 8y ago
[deleted]
asdffdsa 8y ago
Hi Gloria, yes this is the real world, where -- if we fixate on negativity -- everything is worse than we'd like it to be. Running away from the problems you see is a sure way NOT to fix them, and if everyone thought the way you did (or never grew out of that mindset) then problems would not be solved. Unfortunately, you seemed to focus on how bad YOUR city was and criticize the people YOU associate with and ultimately did little to reflect on anything but YOUR experience. Did you ever attend a city planning meeting? Did you speak and argue a point? Did you listen to their counterarguments and amend your position? Volunteer at a nonprofit which helps minorities become qualified for STEM jobs? Give a homeless person food or supplies? Or even talk at length with one? I'll be frank; this mindset is juvenile. When I find myself thinking with a similar perspective, I do my best to rationalize the best plan to solve the problems I'm reflecting on and commit the actions necessary to manifest it. The world won't get better if the status quo is recognizing problems and despairing at them; it will get better if we recognize, confront, and attempt to solve them.
- dcole2929 8y ago
  Your comment is basically just pure FUD and name calling. The author's entire point is that the culture of SV is one that she does not find to be good for her. You're not even asking what did she do to work to change it, your cherry picking random strawman and attacking it. A city planning meeting isn't going to change the culture of an entire area. Her giving resources to a homeless person doesn't change the fact that the area has a homeless epidemic or the fundamental inequalities that exist in SV as a result of high tech salaries, and NIMBY politics inflating housing prices out of the reach of well pretty much everyone. Volunteering at a non profit to get minorities qualified for STEM jobs might (emphasis might) get more minorities jobs at tech companies but again does nothing to combat the culture she describes. SV in her eyes is a place that lacks diversity, both racially and economically as well as in peoples lifestyles, conversations, and interests. I don't live there. I can't comment on whether this is an accurate representation of the area or not but certainly I can say a viable answer to things you don't like is to leave. It's perfectly fine to try to be the change you want to see but it's absurd to state that leaving any situation that feeds into your depression and anxiety makes you juvenile. You wouldn't stay in a relationship that made you feel that way. Why would you stay in a city that made you feel that way?
trimbo 8y ago
> So, I’m leaving. But I do hope to come back someday I hope this person moves to, like, Tokyo or London or something super expensive. If they move to a low cost of living area, trying to move back later isn't a great plan.
MechanicalTwerk 8y ago
People need to seriously get over themselves. The world is not fair. Life is not fair. Neither of them ever have been and neither of them ever will be. Every city has major problems. Every person experiences tragedy. Up and moving to a new city is just a band-aid. You'll see that new city through rose colored glasses at first. But after a few years those rose colored glasses will become a lot clearer and you'll see a lot of the same problems from SF with some new ones mixed in. Life is a struggle, not an endless search for some perfect city or perfect life. No one owes you anything. Your coworkers don't owe you a conversation about politics or art. The wealthy don't owe you a pristine city. Death doesn't owe you the guarantee it won't take your loved ones before their time. The struggle is real, and it is real for everyone. It doesn't discriminate based on age, gender, race, wealth or any other dimension. The people who have it the best in life are those who have accepted this fact and dedicated themselves to working within the struggle to achieve the most they can for the people and causes they care about in the short time they have.
- refurb 8y ago
  This blog post is certainly a glass-half-full perspective.
- sershe 8y ago
  The first part contradicts the rest. World isn't fair, life isn't fair. That means there's no universal law declaring that every city has problems or that everyone has to struggle. Some cities (and countries) have much fewer and smaller problems than others, and life can be much more, or much less, of a struggle; regardless of you (in)action(s). It is in fact exactly what it should be - a search for better life until you are satisfied with what you have, whether you are escaping war-torn Syria and hoping to run a barbershop in Beirut, or escaping boredom-torn SF and hoping to run a hedge fund in NYC. Nobody owes you either, therefore you have to make if happen all by yourself.
Lerex 8y ago
People living in Silicon Valley writing shits about Silicon Valley is so typical Silicon Valley.
sebastos 8y ago
>I just started working at Google and it wasn't everything I had hoped This person just graduated college. This is a wildly unremarkable piece of writing about a widely discussed issue, and the author has no unique insight into the problem. The sanctimony of repeating "This is Silicon Valley" over and over as if this pedestrian blogpost carries the weight of an MLK speech is just silly. Yes, life can be disappointing in these ways. No, discussing Google's use of plastic straws is not deep. Yes, our whole culture has a problem with isolation. No, your "I'm quitting facebook" post is not an incisive expose of that problem. I'm actually not trying to be mean, because I know part of growing up is clarifying these thoughts to yourself and trying to make sense of it all. And I don't mean to diminish her experience - I'm sure it's sincerely felt. We can probably all agree that it's a frightening and disorienting experience entering the "real world" and discovering that you have to find your own meaning. So the problem isn't the author - everybody thinks or writes these self-righteous, disillusioned screeds from time to time, even if we don't put them on a blog. The issue is - can't we, the readers of hackernews, find a better object of discussion? There have to be a million better words written on this topic. Seeing this on the frontpage makes me feel like people are really nodding their heads to this and thinking "Thank God somebody has said it!" But... we're better than that right? We all understand this for what it is, right? Please? EDIT: As I'm reading through the replies, I feel a little better. At least there's some level of consensus that this is a pretty juvenile hot-take. It'd be better if the snark was directed at ourselves rather than the author though. The world is full of 22 year olds' opinions, it's our fault for putting it on the front page like it's some great piece of writing
- fizwhiz 8y ago
  So much this. It's ironic that the article is guilty of the very thing it bemoans: status-seeking and all kinds of distanced virtue signaling.
- crushcrashcrush 8y ago
  While it may not live up to your editorial standards, it's clearly resonating with this audience. Maybe attack the ideas and not the structure / style of the piece? It has nothing to do with the author "finding meaning." It's critiquing an overpriced, socially bankrupt culture and area, and the toll that can take on mental health and happiness.
pashabitz 8y ago
How the fuck is this on the third page with 110 points in 2 hours? I have a conspiracy theory.
zackmorris 8y ago
It's funny, living in Boise (Idaho), I have the opposite view of California and especially Silicon Valley than almost everyone I've met who lived there. They tend to complain about fakeness, or the high cost of living, or too much government. But to me, San Francisco has the best aura of any place I've ever been, other than possibly Costa Rica. It's like some kind of Mecca. It seems like part of the reason San Francisco is so hyper-competitive is that everyone wants to live there. Which is understandable, because if it was any cheaper, everyone WOULD live there. An acre of land where I live can be as cheap as $10,000. The catch is that it's desert so you have to drill your own well, which may not be available. Also the social scene is essentially nonexistent, so you will likely be single for months, possibly years. And you'll be surrounded by half a million people who are more influenced by religion, football and having a large family than anything else. I'm disappointed that the big tech companies don't get (and likely will never get) issues like wealth inequality and how they directly diminish the quality of life of all people who are not part of the illuminati. But I think conflating that central problem with the symptoms of it like homelessness, poor mental health and high taxes on low income earners is a fallacy.

140 points by yirgacheffe 8y ago

Its a rant but I'm also surprised at how she writes "people's perfect life". Whats perfect about San Francisco, that has such a low demographic representation of family, the city is super dirty, people live with 6 figure salaries live in terrible housing conditions. Maybe google gets to shelter their employees from a lot of the cruft of SF, but walk 2 blocks away from the google offices in SF and you'll get yelled at by homeless people. Also sad that the writer does not see a correlation between homelessness and public policy, but blames it to income inequality due to the tech companies. Without tech companies SF as a dump would not be masked by 6 dollar coffee.

crushcrashcrush 8y ago
I also look at this as - individuals have so much wealth, along with these companies, yet no one is doing a single fucking thing to help the homeless. Facebook and Google could reverse their negative PR so quickly if they actually put some money meaningfully toward the problem, not into fake tax shelters for their founders.
- asdffdsa 8y ago
  define "meaningfully", keeping in mind the city spends hundreds of millions on homelessness already (kind of insulting and ignorant to say "no one is doing a single fucking thing")
- nieksand 8y ago
  Does SFO homelessness really have a shortage of money being thrown at the problem?
- jeffreyrogers 8y ago
  How would you solve it? I think it's a really tough problem and a significant fraction of the homeless population has serious mental health problems. I live in a city (Salt Lake City) that did a great job fixing its homelessness problem... for a couple of years. Now it's worse than it has ever been. Partly this is because more homeless people are coming to the area because they've heard about how great the resources here are. The problem with trying to solve homelessness is that most things that work to solve it incentivize more homeless people to move to the area that is solving the problem. At least that's what it seems like to me.
  - crushcrashcrush 8y ago
    It's simple. We need more fucking housing. Period. End of story. We need condo towers. We need townhomes. We need mid-rises. And secondly, we need free and low cost mental health services. That's it. Problem solved. The problem is we're 20 years behind.
    - rak00n 8y ago
      Nope, your just indentfied the problem that needs to be solved. You haven't "solved" the problem, which is massively more complex.
      - crushcrashcrush 8y ago
        You must be really fun at cocktail parties.
    - notacoward 8y ago
      More affordable housing only solves a problem for those with moderate incomes. Evidence: every other city in the US that has cheaper housing but also still plenty of homeless. Free and low-cost mental health services are closer to the mark, but still far from a simple problem. Many homeless people have complex, multi-faceted problems. Many resist initial contact. Many have trouble with maintaining any kind of regular schedule for either medication or counseling. Funding that many therapists (not just head-counters) and ensuring their security is a challenge unto itself. Not a simple problem at all. If there's one thing that makes Silicon Valley unpleasant to me, it's the "simple, just do X" hand-wave that so many there indulge in regarding every damn topic. I'm sure your job isn't so simple a child could do it. Why act like everybody else's is?
  - Nasrudith 8y ago
    Really I think that hints that homelessness should be addressed federally just to stop the buck passing. Not helping matters is the electoral college biasing against urban areas where homelessness is more of a problem.
- aeorgnoieang 8y ago
  How many homeless people could one even very wealthy person help in San Fransisco or Silicon Valley? Even just building a homeless shelter, which I think are still uniformly pretty terrible places, is probably near-impossible; and not just because of the opposition from residents to them being built in their areas or neighborhoods, but also the regular, general opposition to any new development. And just giving homeless people a better place to live is only one, tho extremely important, dimension along which homeless people can be helped. And then of course one should expect side-effects to any help one would give, e.g. increasing 'demand' for help for homeless people. I'd imagine one reason why there's so many homeless people in San Fransisco is that it's already one of the best places to be homeless.
- conanbatt 8y ago
  Its true private could solve it, but there is a crowding out effect as well as a double-charging effect. The city announces it spends 400 million on homelessness and fails, while it spends 2600U$S a month per household. If you are a private worker you pay a monopoly surplus to the landlord and then get taxed to hell, and then you would give charity to help the homelessness the previous two mostly provoke? Hell no.
- conanbatt 8y ago
  It would probably be illegal for facebook and google to run a homeless shelter in san francisco. The city would never allow such a thing to happen, because they want first-right to spend.
sershe 8y ago
You have to yell back at homeless people, keeps you energized. Someone I know working a very good (esp. by Russian standards) tech job in Russia told me that he wouldn't want to live in the US or especially Europe, because the everyday struggle in Russia is what makes one feel alive. Only half-joking ;)

infinteLooping 8y ago

Love how the map doesn't even show the actual "Silicon Valley". Anyways this is also why I now prefer to live with "non-techies". It's a great way to separate work life from home/personal life. Just hard to find roommates who can afford to live here and are also not engineers/techies.

zyncl19 8y ago

The map doesn't show Silicon Valley

svachalek 8y ago
It's definitely migrating north over the years. Some would argue it's centered in SF now, which I'd disagree with, but I have to admit it's moving that way.

matchbok 8y ago

>The lack of diversity doesn’t stop at work — it permeates every aspect of life. Everyone wears Patagonia and North Face, everyone has AirPods hanging from their ears, and everyone goes to Lake Tahoe on weekends. And everyone talks about the same things: startups, blockchain, machine learning, and startups with blockchain and machine learning. Superficial, much? This entire article sounds like a parody.

smacktoward 8y ago
HN, where wishing you could talk to your neighbors and co-workers about something other than blockchain makes you superficial.
- crushcrashcrush 8y ago
  Exactly. The problem isn't the writer of this piece, it's the person you're replying to. pot/kettle/black/etc
  - matchbok 8y ago
    Please look up superficial in the dictionary.
  - CompanionCuuube 8y ago
    It's mind boggling that a criticism of the narrowness of a monoculture is being called superficial.
    - crushcrashcrush 8y ago
      Welcome to HN!
    - matchbok 8y ago
      But, it's not monoculture. At all. You are making a judgement call with that. An extremely wrong one at that.

joncrane 8y ago

Meh. Extreme circumstances result in extreme behaviors. It's a story as old at time.

jfrankamp 8y ago
The start of the story is. This one has a different ending though w/ climate change. We'll optimize our ad spend right up until the end.

erulabs 8y ago

Weird flex, but okay. But seriously, it’s hard to read “look how tough we have it” about getting a 6 figure job out of school. You didn’t get into Harvard. That’s not a life defining tragedy... hoping this is parody. The vast vast vast majority of the world works harder for less. We should be thankful, not weirdly bragging about how hard our childhoods were. Try Detroit or Bangladesh....

apl002 8y ago
A problem we have in the world today is just an overall lack of empathy. Just because people have material things better than people in other parts of the world doesn't mean they don't experience problems and struggles. Your comment implies money (or being well off) = happiness. We all know that isn't true. Have some empathy and just be happy you might be able to handle problems living in SV better then others
misiti3780 8y ago
I agree with the Harvard thing, in the grand scheme of things, hopefully that floats to the bottom
nielsbot 8y ago
I think the author is making the opposite point: that having a 6-figure job out of school is cushy and anomalous outside of Silicon Valley
danbmil99 8y ago
this is not parody. Perhaps you would be more sympathetic to the perspective of the OP if you were raising children here.
- misiti3780 8y ago
  I don't think raising kids has anything to do with. If you're a parent and your main hope and dream is your kids go to harvard, you're doing something wrong.
  - 8y ago

cpr 8y ago

So moving away in the hopes that SV will magically get better while you're away? Doesn't sound like a practical plan.

smacktoward 8y ago
The only alternative is the one Mario Savio (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mario_Savio https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mario_Savio) famously described at Berkeley in 1964: > There's a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at heart, that you can't take part! You can't even passively take part! And you've got to put your bodies upon the gears and upon the wheels... upon the levers, upon all the apparatus, and you've got to make it stop! And you've got to indicate to the people who run it, to the people who own it, that unless you're free, the machine will be prevented from working at all! The only way change happens is when people go that way instead. But putting your body "upon the gears" is a really hard thing to do; it means a life spent fighting mostly losing battles and foregoing most of the conventional consolations life offers, like family and social acceptance and material comfort. In other words it's asking someone to be a hero, and while I wish we had more heroes, I can't blame anyone for not leaping up to volunteer for the job.
quest88 8y ago
I had the same feelings. "I care so much about these things that I'm going to leave and hope it works out!". Let's add another piece to the article: "Well paid tech employees would rather look the other way, some even leaving, instead of putting in the tough effort of making change. But tech employees are used to other people doing things for them. They hire dog walkers to walk their dog, cleaners for their homes, and laundry services to do their laundry. This is silicon valley."

yalogin 8y ago

San Francisco definitely feels like that to me. Everyone and everything just seem like they are part of a cult and worshipping at altar of startups. I can't explain it.

nielsbot 8y ago
It's an industry town now. I personally worry how sustainable it is to have a city that's just "high paid white startup workers and fancy restaurants." I think a more diverse and affordable San Francisco would benefit all its residents.
- gowld 8y ago
  It's interesting how Chinese and Indian people are hated for being "white" now, not long after they were hated for being non-white.
  - nielsbot 8y ago
    Is that happening? I used "white" as a stereotype to make a point, but maybe that was a bad choice.
  - dragonwriter 8y ago
    They are still hated for being not-white, regardless of the fact (if it is one) that their not-whiteness is discounted by some other not-white people leaving them lumped in with white people in resentment of the visible, economically advantaged (from the perspective of other non-whites) groups. White America is hardly free of racism targeting East and South Asians (or Central or Southwest or any other Asians, for that matter.)
- nubbins 8y ago
  Whenever I visit, SF still feels more human scale, relaxed, less anonymous, and more friendly to me than the shrine to global commerce that is most of Manhattan. But I trust people who live there who say its getting worse and its a lot smaller so I guess its more at risk of being colonized by a tech monoculture.

pulsarpietro 8y ago

Thanks for writing this.

RcouF1uZ4gsC 8y ago

>In my liberal arts college, conversations varied dramatically, from British literature to public policy to moral philosophy to socioeconomic inequality. Compare this to my product management program filled with new grads, where even social conversations revolve around tech — whether it’s spilling the hottest gossip on the new VP, plotting how to get “double promoted” from a Level 3 to a Level 5 product manager in exactly 22 months, or debriefing where the top angel investors get drinks on Thursday nights. (And yes, Silicon Valley has an alcohol and drug problem, too). Attempts to hold discussions about social issues are often met with bored faces and are quickly terminated. For example, a friend in the program and I have brought up climate change on many occasions, since it’s an issue we’re particularly passionate about. We’ve mentioned the worsening air quality in light of the Camp Fire that devastated more than 150,000 acres of Northern California, lamented the fact that Google still uses plastic water bottles and straws, and encouraged others to donate to environmental organizations during our company’s giving week. Each time, we were met with silence. Unless you embrace the orthodoxy on these positions, you would be a fool to talk about them at work. Basically, these "discussions" are met with bored faces because either 1) people agree with the position and it feels like "preaching to the choir", or 2) people disagree with the position, but don't want to endanger their nice job by taking a position against the orthodoxy. Given the above, people talk about safe topics like tech, investing, and insider gossip.

badpun 8y ago
Politics became the new religion for a lot of people and they act a lot like religious zealots - they feel very strongly about their worldview and will defend it, and at the same time, they're not interested in other points of view. So, just as it was never wise to discuss religion in a work environment, now it's better to not talk politics.
- eanzenberg 8y ago
  This is the bubble we should be talking about.

rsweeney21 8y ago

I totally bought into the Silicon Valley dream. I moved to the bay area to work at Netflix and launch a startup. I bootstrapped my first company because I didn't know how to raise VC money. That was pretty great. For my second company I raised millions of dollars from VCs. I went to exclusive parties, did press interviews and had a huge net-worth (on paper). I became the person I always envied. It was HUGELY disappointing. I remember being at the company party after we closed our series A and thinking, "Is this it?". I was expecting a much stronger sense of accomplishment. I'm curious what the experience was like for other founders. For me, I realized that what I thought was going to make me happy, didn't. Not only did it not give me the happiness and satisfaction I was hoping for, it ate up some many other parts of my life that do bring me real happiness - family life, friends, traveling, adventure. The deeper I dig into the world of startups and VC the more I realize that it's very much not what it seems.

rdiddly 8y ago
The best things in life are free. Sometimes old aphorisms are right on the money, no pun intended.
crushcrashcrush 8y ago
I had a mild exit and bought a sports car. I thought it would make me happy, it didn't. Good luck on your quest for true meaning. You won't find it here.
Konnstann 8y ago
To me it seems like taking huge sums of money from investors isn't as satisfying as bootstrapping just from the perspective of survival. VC startups burn money all the time, they aren't fighting for survival. You can't burn money if you bootstrap because then your company just dies.
smallgovt 8y ago
The disappointment you describe is either because your achievements don't actually contribute to your core values or the benefits are short lived. I recommend taking some time to figure out what your core values are. Why did you want to start a successful startup? What were you really chasing after? Some superficial answers might be financial security or social status, but you should keep asking why these things are important until you arrive at something that is important just because you feel it is. These are your core values. Once you figure out your core values, you'll find that: 1) The event that resulted in disappointment either didn't contribute to one of your core values 2) The core value that you've identified is partially out of your control, and so, your achievement made you feel good, but it was only temporary. To me, values are the measuring sticks by which people quantify success in life. Whether or not we realize it, we constantly measure our actions against our values, and how we 'measure up' determines our self-worth. Once we actually know what we value, we can either change those values (bc they are too extrinsic), or design our life to optimally fulfill them.

largehotcoffee 8y ago

The author graduated from college last year.

jiveturkey 8y ago
Ah, now I understand the "four year hiatus". And the lack of perspective. In another comment I suggested she move to Sacto. I'm thinking instead she should spend a year abroad.

crushcrashcrush 8y ago

I'm gonna offer a slightly different perspective: SV isn't that nice, and it's not worth the price premium. There is a distinct lack of culture, of nightlife, of arts and humanities - even in San Francisco. We're a mediocre land of strip malls and suburbs masquerading as an international destination. Go to any other city and tell me that it's not MORE vibrant (Chicago, LA, NYC, Miami, Austin, Portland, Seattle, Houston, Toronto, London, Paris, etc.) It just isn't worth the price premium. Restaurants close at 9:30 (why do people eat so early?) - lack of beautiful modern mid-rise and hi-rise condo housing, lack of public transportation, last-call is at 1:30PM... it really sucks here. hard.

crushcrashcrush 8y ago
Also, I'd like to point out that if you have a family, and have settled into a sort of more standard family life, SV is great - if you can afford it. If you're a young(er) single person, my god literally anywhere else is better to live. For example - if you're on Tinder, use the "passport" feature to set your profile to NYC for two days. Let me know the number of matches you get.
- xiphias2 8y ago
  I was living in Zurich and before Tinder I had no idea how much difference can my sexual value be between cities. I really wish I knew that my dating life would have been so much easier if I move to NYC.
  - crushcrashcrush 8y ago
    Dating in Silicon Valley is legitimately awful. It's staggeringly bad.
    - jonathankoren 8y ago
      I often think back to this obviously first coffee date I came across one weekend at Red Rock in Mountain View. The woman came in, she's dressed nice, walks in with confidence, and finds her date, who is dressed like a schlub wearing a faded free company t-shirt, and couldn't even bother to comb his hair. If I was her, there wouldn't have been a second date.

Para2016 8y ago

I had to stop reading this. The complaints of a wealthy narcissist and her wonderful childhood are absurd, despicable even.

thedz 8y ago
Did... you read the same article I did? The author describes a hyper competitive childhood that explicit took a mental and physical toll on the student body
- eeeeeeeeeeeee 8y ago
  It seems a lot of people commenting here basically just see money == happiness. Basically, these commenters are proving the article’s point. Why be depressed when you have money? Who needs empathy for the homeless when you live in a gated community away from them?
  - Nasrudith 8y ago
    It is a lack of scope for the problems - people would understand "even being rich being stuck in a wheelchair/an orphan/etc. still sucks it beats being poor and x". Given that they are in a better situation than most and no experience with the problems it gets triaged as "not really a problem".
- Para2016 8y ago
  Yes. I grew up in a lower middle class family with uneducated parents. Then I was enlisted in the military. Now I'm a resident physician working primarily in a county hospital. So when I say someone is a narcissist it's backed up by current DSM knowledge. And when I say despicable, I say it knowing that this spoiled author has no idea how the majority of America lives. SV types seem to not understand that a "hyper competitive" educational environment is not a pitiable condition.

narrator 8y ago

I did badly in high school and ok in college, and still got a six figure job because I had natural programming talent. I had an enormous amount of fun in High School though. There are things you can do and get away with when you are a teenager that you will not be able to do for the rest of your life, so have a good time! Don't break your brain with sketchy drugs though. As the movie "The Boys and Girls Guide to Getting Down"[1] states. There are "fun" drugs and there are "sketchy" drugs. Stay away from Sketchy drugs. Besides, going to a good school doesn't matter if you have no talent. You'll just burn out and get crap grades. Life at that stage is about figuring out the nexus of what your good at, what you like, and what you can get paid for. Trying to fit a square peg in a round hole is not a good strategy for this. [1]https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Boys_%26_Girls_Guide_to_Getting_Down https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Boys_%26_Girls_Guide_to_Ge...

seibelj 8y ago

I think it's more professional not to encourage talking about politics at work. It is unrelated to your job and is more likely to divide people than bring everyone together, unless the author would be happy if someone said they didn't care or disagreed with whatever issues they are passionate about.

lifeformed 8y ago
It doesn't sound like the author is just referring to work conversations, but in her whole social life.
sgarman 8y ago
Obviously there is a plethora of reasons to not talk politics at work, but is "unrelated to your job" really one of them? I can't think of a single major startup who's success and direction are not directly influenced by the political landscape. Perhaps your mindset is employees should just do tasks assigned and not be interested or vested in their work and companies raison d'etre (assuming it's more then just making $$$$). IMO that attitude is how we get to what the author is explaining in this article.
- crushcrashcrush 8y ago
  >> IMO that attitude is how we get to what the author is explaining in this article. clap emoji
- seibelj 8y ago
  No, I don’t want to talk about politics. If there is a specific issue or bill that will affect our business directly, then sure. But I don’t want to get worked up about politics when what we need to do is succeed as a business.

kenneth 8y ago

> The weather is lovely, the crime rate is low, and the schools are well funded. Low crime… do we live in the same bay area?

david927 8y ago
I laughed at that too. And "well-funded schools" very much depends on where you live.

JohnFen 8y ago

"This is Silicon Valley. Who wouldn’t want to live here?" I wouldn't! I find Silicon Valley to be a very creepy, disturbing, and depressing place. I don't live there (but I go there fairly regularly), and so have no comment on the experience of people who do, but the author's description does dovetail nicely into my own outsider's perception of the place.

throwaway-1283 8y ago

My biggest issue with SF tech scene (after having worked in it for several years now) is that in order to be successful you really need to drink the Koolaid, which requires extreme emotional investment in your work. I've come to realize that I am not programmed that way at all, and it has made it difficult for me to really be happy working in that kind of environment.

cabaalis 8y ago

> So, I’m leaving. But I do hope to come back someday. You've made what I think is a good choice. Don't turn it into a bad one by just going to some different urban center. You will learn that there are hard-working, good-natured, intelligent people all over the country living in very diverse neighborhoods. They understand math and engineering just as well as you do, yet they are constantly told they are flyover hicks whose opinions don't matter, since "talent" wants to ride on trains to work.

cknoxrun 8y ago
I live and co-founded my current company in a colder northern Canadian city. Often we get derided by larger urban centres in Canada, similar to being labeled "flyover" country. But what I've found is that there is a sweet spot in terms of city size (mine is about 1 million) where the community feels small enough that people seem to legitimately care about each other, and champion each other's successes, but the benefits of an urban lifestyle are still available. It's a good life, filled with diversity and genuine people, but the choice is still there to ride trains to work.
- robterrell 8y ago
  What city is this?
  - 131012 8y ago
    Most likely Edmonton, unless parent was loose with his 1M pop estimate.
- triviatise 8y ago
  Austin is still like this (pop 1M). You can be anywhere in town and still run into people you know. People can still work 9 to 5 and comfortably raise a family. While it is becoming more pretentious with tech money, it isn't too bad. Austin is a tier 4 city that can at times still feel like a small town with some bigger city amenities.

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jiveturkey 8y ago

Interesting juxtaposition of non-PC "black" and PC "latinx" in the same sentence! Surely that says something about the author although I'm not quite sure what.

crushcrashcrush 8y ago
Black is not non-PC.
nieksand 8y ago
Is "black" really not considered PC?
uxp100 8y ago
I think black is the "PC" term. Poc is more broad, and african-american is seen as outdated to some. It certainly reflects different ideas of one's identity.
- jiveturkey 8y ago
  Black is certainly the most correct term, but african-american still dominates. My comment is not about how one views one's own identity, which yes, these are different reflections, it's about how others want to tread lightly to avoid any perceived slight. IOW, PC for PC sake.

gpsx 8y ago

Wow. I'm shocked by the comments here. If the author reads these I am sure she will give up all hope for the area. Of course a number of commenters didn't actually finish the article.

thedz 8y ago

Did some of y'all stop reading at half of the first sentence? The article isn't a parody, and is expressly saying that SF/Silicon Valley can be a pretty bad place to live, specifically with regards to the author mental health. I'm not sure how people are getting from this piece that SF is a great place with no problems

david927 8y ago
I applaud bringing up some of the unseen issues, especially regarding mental health, of the area. But if you walk down a street in SF you risk stepping on a needle or human feces. It's a catastrophe and some of the issues raised here seem to pale in comparison.

bjohnsonsv 8y ago

Somber, sobering truth. It is discouraging that young people are giving up and leaving because of the lack of critical mass of caring people who "don't have the time" to roll up sleeves and help make change. They're too busy pursuing that "perfect life" to see that life is never perfect, but can be perfectly fulfilling when helping others.

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pea 8y ago

I grew up and went to school in Silicon Valley ('02 - '08), and remember one of the most stark contrasts was the difference in sociodemographics when you crossed from Palo Alto to EPA. Crazy difference in school quality, poverty, etc; it was unimaginable that people could live so close to one another and have such a different experience. I don't remember the really extreme academic pressures in high school that OP mentioned in Mountain View/Los Altos area, though. After recently being back, one of the things that really hit me was what a monoculture it seemed. Of course in the 2000s a lot of people worked in tech, but it had a really different vibe to it now; it was never that obvious before when you spoke to them, and peoples' parents had a wide variety of jobs. SF seemed more like a normal city. When I spend time there now, after living in London, it does seem really, really homogenous. This is quite possibly a huge bias on my part as I was a teenager.

crushcrashcrush 8y ago
I pitched VICE media to do a story on the 101 Exit going North that has a split - Palo Alto and East Palo Alto. The redlining and pure racism that Palo Alto was founded on is astounding. The bulldozing of whiskey row/gultch to build the (hideous!) Four Seasons tower there. Really terrible history around here.

keko039ndnfm 8y ago

There are a number of surveys and and stats gathered that argue most college grads are straight jacketed thinkers just like the majority They’re simply thinking about “the right stuff” to get higher paying jobs And a number of surveys and research where college grads self describe as lacking sufficient critical thinking skills It’s what human societies do; ram the popular meme down their kids throats, be it Christianity or whatever, and pressure them, explicitly or tacitly, to comply or be left behind by their culture Feed the meme of free market neoliberalism by helping the Uber rich buy up more control of our time A CEO today is akin to a regional baron or lord or whatever from yesterday. We’re pushed to focus on conversations that are all about corporate value, not human value, being tacitly lead to believe there is an invisible hand making sure the latter is being handled while we lean into our conviction to the righteousness of the former. TL;DR nothing here is new. Humanity has a long history of exactly what this article is describing. Social wellness programs are, IMO the path forward. Portugal and it’s approach to drugs, and the northern EU countries seem fine. I suppose America will continue to pretend it’s some how a unique subset of the human species though.

DoofusOfDeath 8y ago

It seems to me that the author is having a fairly common experience: a sense of disillusion as one enters early adulthood. The realization that some expectations of adulthood are not in fact true, and doubly so in the corporate working world. The suspicion that some of the striving done during adolescence was in vain, or towards goals whose ultimate value is limited. I'm actually happy for the author, because she's realized these things early on, rather than having to look back at her 20's and 30's with a profound sense of regret. I hope she'll find a new path with which she can have long-term satisfaction.

rdiddly 8y ago

My brief experience of Silicon Valley in the 90s was that people there didn't give an inch or a damn. Now 25 years later I guess those people have been raising kids.

jiveturkey 8y ago

> So, I’m leaving. Implied: in the hopes of finding a place/community where her penchant for social and larger scale issues are top of mind. I understand her complaint, which comes from being a well-off Upper Middle Class person with liberal values, but frustrated by inability to move the needle. Yes, this is Silicon Valley. But this is every liberal city. (minus the high school pressure tho.) I wish she would tell us where she is moving to. She should move to Sacramento. Close enough to SV, and she can hate on all the weekend Tahoe traffic. But where she can find a group of soulmates that care about and are actually doing something about the social issues she cares about.

SamuelAdams 8y ago

As someone not in the valley (Michigan resident here), do other jobs not exist? I'm sure nurses, financial analysts, and auto mechanics love to go to Lake Tahoe and talk about their professions. It sounds to me like the OP doesn't like spending 100% of her time in the tech sphere. And that's fine. Find people who are in completely unrelated fields, and become friends with them. Spend 50% of your time at work, in the tech world. Then leave work and spend the other 50% talking to different people about more diverse problems.

NTDF9 8y ago
Let me explain the monotone. In Michigan, if you go knock on the door of your neighbors, what is the probability that they work in the same industry as you? In SV, the probability that they work in tech is very very high (99% in my case, the 1% is an old retired engineer). SV's monotone is a bubble of gigantic proportions. Everyone is in tech. There are no auto-mechanics living nearby (they drive in from 1.5 hours away)

lordnacho 8y ago

I think I can see why the teenagers are so angsty. The problem when you grow up surrounded by an elite is you really want to join the elite. This is what everyone mentions about the bay area: there's lots of 6 figure jobs, but everything is expensive even if you have one. And how do you get these jobs? The standard path, and that's just about all you'll hear as a kid, is get good grades, get into a good school, do internships, interview well and then you're on the ladder. If you fall off the ladder, you'll know just enough friends to go green with envy, and you won't be able to afford anything. The thing is teenagers who are going to be part of the elite tend to be clumped together in their affluent schools. They see disproportionately many other success stories, and they see other kids pushing themselves as well. All I can say is when you get a little older, your circles widen. Or they CAN widen, it's up to you who you hang out with. Also, you tend to get a bit less intense, nothing really bothers you as much as when you were young.

bproven 8y ago

"It’s where everyone wants something from you, and you never know when someone will betray you because they want something from someone else more." This is the part I really hated about SV and the bay area.

president 8y ago

People that enjoy living in Silicon Valley are either delusional, have never lived anywhere else in their life, or moved here from the middle of nowhere. The only thing this soul-less valley is good for is tech and money. If that's not what you base your life on (most normal people with a life), then you're not going to like it. Most people I've talked with (excluding new college grads and people in their 1-2 year Valley honeymoon phase) don't plan on staying here permanently.

Nasrudith 8y ago
Listing the middle of nowhere as a dismissive qualifier seems ironic in contrast with lived their their whole life. Perhaps you are taking things for granted about it or your preferred location.

berlinerluft 8y ago

Personally I find discussing machine learning and blockchain more interesting than discussing diversity (yet again). Also, perhaps she could have a bigger impact in SV where few people are woke, than in some place where everybody is woke.

DoofusOfDeath 8y ago
I don't think she was focusing on the relative interesting-ness of diversity vs. {ML, blockchain}. Rather, it was about the narrow focus on such a small set of discussion topics.
- berlinerluft 8y ago
  I find it difficult to believe that even in SV people have no other things to talk about.

bargl 8y ago

I grew up in a church. I know churches aren't perfect but man I miss that community. OK so I actually grew up in 2 churches, Mormon and Catholic on alternating weekends. A friend of mine suggested (also previously Mormon) that we create a church called, "Good without God". I love the idea because I have seen the good that having a community can do for many (not all) and for the community. I miss going to a place that pushed people to be "good" (air quotes because different people and even religions define this differently). Anyway, this is something I think we're missing from our culture right now. I'm finding it for myself in other places right now, but it's not quite the same. This is one of my more rambling comments, sorry about that.

cromwellian 8y ago

How much of the author's early childhood stress is the result not of SV, but of tiger mom/dad competitiveness? Kids crying over getting an A- and being loaded up with 7 after school classes and college prep activities usually indicates parental pressure more than peer pressure. So some of her commentary is transferring blame to SV culture as a whole for what is probably a result of the culture of the parents.

Apocryphon 8y ago
Tiger mom parenting has become a part of SV culture, or at least many schools in SV.
- cromwellian 8y ago
  True but it’s much more prevalent in first generation immigrant families especially from Asia, so there’s some selection bias. Yes, some areas can be 30-90% this demographic makeup (eg cupertino schools) but it is not the norm for the entire Bay Area.
  - Apocryphon 8y ago
    Right, but since the article is talking about the SV elite (both in terms of educational and economic attainment, and one follows the other), it seems pertinent.

mnm1 8y ago

Funny how the lack of diversity (% of people employed from each race) exactly mirrors this graph of wealth by race in America: https://www.forbes.com/sites/laurashin/2015/03/26/the-racial-wealth-gap-why-a-typical-white-household-has-16-times-the-wealth-of-a-black-one/#3627bc671f45 https://www.forbes.com/sites/laurashin/2015/03/26/the-racial... Who'd have thought?

throwaway-1283 8y ago

Curious for anyone living in SF/SV and thinking about moving - what are your top choices?

Redoubts 8y ago
NY/CHI/PDX

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asdffdsa 8y ago

Hi Gloria, yes this is the real world, where -- if we fixate on negativity -- everything is worse than we'd like it to be. Running away from the problems you see is a sure way NOT to fix them, and if everyone thought the way you did (or never grew out of that mindset) then problems would not be solved. Unfortunately, you seemed to focus on how bad YOUR city was and criticize the people YOU associate with and ultimately did little to reflect on anything but YOUR experience. Did you ever attend a city planning meeting? Did you speak and argue a point? Did you listen to their counterarguments and amend your position? Volunteer at a nonprofit which helps minorities become qualified for STEM jobs? Give a homeless person food or supplies? Or even talk at length with one? I'll be frank; this mindset is juvenile. When I find myself thinking with a similar perspective, I do my best to rationalize the best plan to solve the problems I'm reflecting on and commit the actions necessary to manifest it. The world won't get better if the status quo is recognizing problems and despairing at them; it will get better if we recognize, confront, and attempt to solve them.

dcole2929 8y ago
Your comment is basically just pure FUD and name calling. The author's entire point is that the culture of SV is one that she does not find to be good for her. You're not even asking what did she do to work to change it, your cherry picking random strawman and attacking it. A city planning meeting isn't going to change the culture of an entire area. Her giving resources to a homeless person doesn't change the fact that the area has a homeless epidemic or the fundamental inequalities that exist in SV as a result of high tech salaries, and NIMBY politics inflating housing prices out of the reach of well pretty much everyone. Volunteering at a non profit to get minorities qualified for STEM jobs might (emphasis might) get more minorities jobs at tech companies but again does nothing to combat the culture she describes. SV in her eyes is a place that lacks diversity, both racially and economically as well as in peoples lifestyles, conversations, and interests. I don't live there. I can't comment on whether this is an accurate representation of the area or not but certainly I can say a viable answer to things you don't like is to leave. It's perfectly fine to try to be the change you want to see but it's absurd to state that leaving any situation that feeds into your depression and anxiety makes you juvenile. You wouldn't stay in a relationship that made you feel that way. Why would you stay in a city that made you feel that way?

trimbo 8y ago

> So, I’m leaving. But I do hope to come back someday I hope this person moves to, like, Tokyo or London or something super expensive. If they move to a low cost of living area, trying to move back later isn't a great plan.

MechanicalTwerk 8y ago

People need to seriously get over themselves. The world is not fair. Life is not fair. Neither of them ever have been and neither of them ever will be. Every city has major problems. Every person experiences tragedy. Up and moving to a new city is just a band-aid. You'll see that new city through rose colored glasses at first. But after a few years those rose colored glasses will become a lot clearer and you'll see a lot of the same problems from SF with some new ones mixed in. Life is a struggle, not an endless search for some perfect city or perfect life. No one owes you anything. Your coworkers don't owe you a conversation about politics or art. The wealthy don't owe you a pristine city. Death doesn't owe you the guarantee it won't take your loved ones before their time. The struggle is real, and it is real for everyone. It doesn't discriminate based on age, gender, race, wealth or any other dimension. The people who have it the best in life are those who have accepted this fact and dedicated themselves to working within the struggle to achieve the most they can for the people and causes they care about in the short time they have.

refurb 8y ago
This blog post is certainly a glass-half-full perspective.
sershe 8y ago
The first part contradicts the rest. World isn't fair, life isn't fair. That means there's no universal law declaring that every city has problems or that everyone has to struggle. Some cities (and countries) have much fewer and smaller problems than others, and life can be much more, or much less, of a struggle; regardless of you (in)action(s). It is in fact exactly what it should be - a search for better life until you are satisfied with what you have, whether you are escaping war-torn Syria and hoping to run a barbershop in Beirut, or escaping boredom-torn SF and hoping to run a hedge fund in NYC. Nobody owes you either, therefore you have to make if happen all by yourself.

Lerex 8y ago

People living in Silicon Valley writing shits about Silicon Valley is so typical Silicon Valley.

sebastos 8y ago

>I just started working at Google and it wasn't everything I had hoped This person just graduated college. This is a wildly unremarkable piece of writing about a widely discussed issue, and the author has no unique insight into the problem. The sanctimony of repeating "This is Silicon Valley" over and over as if this pedestrian blogpost carries the weight of an MLK speech is just silly. Yes, life can be disappointing in these ways. No, discussing Google's use of plastic straws is not deep. Yes, our whole culture has a problem with isolation. No, your "I'm quitting facebook" post is not an incisive expose of that problem. I'm actually not trying to be mean, because I know part of growing up is clarifying these thoughts to yourself and trying to make sense of it all. And I don't mean to diminish her experience - I'm sure it's sincerely felt. We can probably all agree that it's a frightening and disorienting experience entering the "real world" and discovering that you have to find your own meaning. So the problem isn't the author - everybody thinks or writes these self-righteous, disillusioned screeds from time to time, even if we don't put them on a blog. The issue is - can't we, the readers of hackernews, find a better object of discussion? There have to be a million better words written on this topic. Seeing this on the frontpage makes me feel like people are really nodding their heads to this and thinking "Thank God somebody has said it!" But... we're better than that right? We all understand this for what it is, right? Please? EDIT: As I'm reading through the replies, I feel a little better. At least there's some level of consensus that this is a pretty juvenile hot-take. It'd be better if the snark was directed at ourselves rather than the author though. The world is full of 22 year olds' opinions, it's our fault for putting it on the front page like it's some great piece of writing

fizwhiz 8y ago
So much this. It's ironic that the article is guilty of the very thing it bemoans: status-seeking and all kinds of distanced virtue signaling.
crushcrashcrush 8y ago
While it may not live up to your editorial standards, it's clearly resonating with this audience. Maybe attack the ideas and not the structure / style of the piece? It has nothing to do with the author "finding meaning." It's critiquing an overpriced, socially bankrupt culture and area, and the toll that can take on mental health and happiness.

pashabitz 8y ago

How the fuck is this on the third page with 110 points in 2 hours? I have a conspiracy theory.

zackmorris 8y ago

It's funny, living in Boise (Idaho), I have the opposite view of California and especially Silicon Valley than almost everyone I've met who lived there. They tend to complain about fakeness, or the high cost of living, or too much government. But to me, San Francisco has the best aura of any place I've ever been, other than possibly Costa Rica. It's like some kind of Mecca. It seems like part of the reason San Francisco is so hyper-competitive is that everyone wants to live there. Which is understandable, because if it was any cheaper, everyone WOULD live there. An acre of land where I live can be as cheap as $10,000. The catch is that it's desert so you have to drill your own well, which may not be available. Also the social scene is essentially nonexistent, so you will likely be single for months, possibly years. And you'll be surrounded by half a million people who are more influenced by religion, football and having a large family than anything else. I'm disappointed that the big tech companies don't get (and likely will never get) issues like wealth inequality and how they directly diminish the quality of life of all people who are not part of the illuminati. But I think conflating that central problem with the symptoms of it like homelessness, poor mental health and high taxes on low income earners is a fallacy.