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This resonates with me. I love my work, I really like what I do, I think it's mentally challenging, interesting, and important for our world and civilization an

This resonates with me. I love my work, I really like what I do, I think it's mentally challenging, interesting, and important for our world and civilization and I believe I'm compensated well enough. But it's tiring ok? And all I can ever do on weekends is lying on my bed watching netflix. I work 9 to 6 and work out intensely for 2 hours every week day. By the time it's saturday I'm both physically and mentally exhaust. I cannot do anything other than sleeping. Of course this is not a good situation for various reasons: no friends, no relationships, no hobbies. Just work, gym, and recovering from those two. I like this for a lot of reasons (which is why I do it) but I acknowledge that my life is also pathetic. I wouldn't be surprised if I died alone.

laurex 8y ago
Please read Feeling Good by Dr. David Burns, or even check out the website he maintains. He gives lots of resources for DIY Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, if you want to give that a shot before professional help.
lostgame 8y ago
First off, it seems as though your gym schedule is very intense and easing on that may help especially the physical aspect of what you’re going through. Secondly, I strongly recommend, if you don’t already, to just maybe see a therapist? It seems like you’ve got some cool things going on and like you could be a cool person, and sometimes it’s tough to reach out. I had to myself recently.
- 01100011 8y ago
  Seriously. If they're hitting the gym with any sort of intensity, 2 hours a day is going to leave you destroyed on the weekends. 3-4 days a week is plenty. Your body needs to rebuild.
  - matwood 8y ago
    2 hours/day at 100% intensity is a lot, but I have found doing something physical everyday to be key to mental health, sleeping better, and general well being. Very people go 100% even when they go to the gym 3x/week, so I don't want others reading this thinking that is all they need. In fact, people will be surprised what the body can do (go read up on ultra-marathoners, etc...). Few regular gym goers are even close to needing rest days, and instead use it as an excuse not to go.
    - 01100011 8y ago
      My gym is filled with people half-assing it(not even half really), sitting on equipment playing with their phones, or just generally doing it wrong. Those people aren't going to get the message no matter what. You either want it or you don't. I mean want it. "Want" is a funny word. My ex "wanted" everything but never put any effort into anything. That's not "want". "Want" is a desire strong enough to drive actions. If you don't have that, nothing can help you. I totally get you about the ultra marathoners. What I don't see is those people using their skills to benefit anything else in their lives. Sure, it's amazing to see someone, especially someone in their 50s or 60s, run 300+ miles. It's also sad to see them devote so much of their time to training and fueling that they have nothing left for anything else in their lives. I used to do 30-60 miles of fast walking in a week. Even at that level my job and social life took a hit. I think for anyone who is serious about hitting the recommended levels of fitness and exercise, a few hours a week, spread out into 3-4 visits, is more than enough. You should probably try to get some low intensity exercise every day, like walking and simple yoga, while maintaining good posture. If you do that, you'll stay fit, increase the chances of living a long life, and have enough time and energy left over for the important things in life.
      - Broken_Hippo 8y ago
        You are seriously looking down on the folks with their phones? How else are folks supposed to overcome the absolute drudgery and hate they have for the activity they are doing? I'd argue these folks are more motivated than the folks like you: Regardless for their hate for the activity, they are still doing it. It is the same reason I have headphones with some sort of entertainment when I walk or use treadmills. The same reason my spouse reads while on the stationary bike. These activities are an absolutely dreadful way to spend time. Especially when one could be home making artwork or music or devoting time to cooking something creative or even watching silly videos.
- hartator 8y ago
  Me too. If you need someone to reach out to in the Austin area, feel free to DM me.
jamesmiller5 8y ago
> I wouldn't be surprised if I died alone. Everyone eventually dies alone, but do not let that sadden you. A full life is measured in the depths of sorrow from that truth, not in avoiding it.
- war1025 8y ago
  Have you ever watched someone die? Dying is terrible, but there is definitely a difference between being surrounded by loved ones and being all alone or among strangers. "Everyone dies alone" is one of those things that is sort of technically correct, but has absolutely nothing to do with what people mean when they talk about dying alone.
  - Aeolun 8y ago
    The dying alone part isn’t so bad. It likely takes less than a week or so. The sad part is the way there.
  - yesenadam 8y ago
    Yes, I watched my mother die (of cancer). I was standing in a circle holding hands with her and 3 or 4 of her best friends. On a sunny day in a house with 180 degree ocean view. They scattered her ashes on the ocean.
    - war1025 8y ago
      My dad died (also of cancer) 3 years ago last week. Didn't have a view of the ocean or anything fancy like that. But at least we got to be there for it.
      - yesenadam 8y ago
        Ah sorry to hear that. Not her house, she just had an amazing knack for having friends with nice houses that needed to be house-sat!
  - Broken_Hippo 8y ago
seibelj 8y ago
You should definitely see a therapist, you sound clinically depressed. Laying in bed all weekend is not healthy. Making friends and having lasting relationships takes effort but is a requirement to have a happy and fulfilling life (excluding total hermits who are perfectly happy ignoring family, friends, and social contact, and some of those people do exist on HN and will argue with this comment). You have a career, now it's time to have a life. You owe it to yourself.
- rofo1 8y ago
  "Requirement" is too strong a word. We've all read the Harvard 75 years old study [0] probably here, cause it was posted couple of times on HN, but I for one side with Chamfort: "Happiness is very difficult to find in yourself, but impossible to find someplace else" I've felt this way all my life, even before I read Chamfort. I always valued quality relationships with people, not just any relationship with anyone. To me, being alone is much better than being in the wrong company. It's very hard to find good, well-mannered people with moral integrity. At least it is for me. And based on everything I see around me, those people are just rare. Most people tolerate each other, instead of actively wanting to be friends/whatever with each other. I don't fully understand why that is. But is just is. I'm curious to see other's thoughts on this subject, though. [0] - https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/inspired-life/wp/2016/03/02/harvard-researchers-discovered-the-one-thing-everyone-needs-for-happier-healthier-lives https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/inspired-life/wp/2016/03...
  - SZJX 8y ago
    Exactly. I feel like I've had enough bad companies/relationships to be really content just to be on myself. And I feel so, so much better off with it. I have total tranquility of mins and can concentrate on what I'm passionate about, instead of being always upset, disappointed or have my attention taken away and all that. I still actively engage in online communities and this makes me happy. Also I maintain occasional contact with a few friends, who I sense to share my values and are generally reliable, which seems more than enough really. People might have tended to "tolerate" others because it was harder to survive without the others, when technologies were not that advanced. But do a lot of people really want to be with the others that much? This I really doubt. Also I feel the couple mentioned in that article might have well been better off if they could actually pursue their passions instead of focusing solely on personal relationships, or why not both indeed.
abnry 8y ago
This was me in grad school. I did do stuff on the weekends, but most of it was vegging. It didn't work out for me healthwise. I would recommend trying to transition into a more slow-burn, less intense lifestyle. If work is that intense that you need to crash on the weekends, it can add up over time in bad ways.
bitL 8y ago
I faced similar things regarding time management. I shifted my exercise stuff towards HIIT, i.e. short but super intense exercises most of days (~30 minutes), with 2x/week strenuous weightlifting ones that might take longer. I know this limited amount won't make me an Olympic winner, but I don't care. Then, remote work with my own hours helps another time management issue; usually I am done working at 2pm and can do something with my life. Then once/twice a month I throw a party where I invite a lot of people from all around the world from different fields, many of whom I never interacted with before (if you are in a large international city, it gets easier). Then there are hobbies, where I suddenly have time to pursue e.g. serious photography or electronic music composition etc.
- shanusmagnus 8y ago
  This is a super intriguing comment. Could you say more about the parties? I'm imagining a bunch of your Twitter followers descending from everywhere on Munich or something into a warehouse that you rent out.
drharby 8y ago
Your life isnt pathetic, youre focusing on what matters to you rn in life. >t. Same except managed to find energy to enjoy my weekends. The secret is healthy diet, 8 hours sleep, drinking water, and limit in alcohol
- matwood 8y ago
  > The secret is healthy diet, 8 hours sleep, drinking water, and limit in alcohol It's not really a secret. We all know this, but few execute (common theme in life?).
omegant 8y ago
I think we all need to be part of a small tribe, a group of friends we see at least every two weeks or so. Also getting intense contact with nature, I’ve noticed that if I’m without going out for more than 2 weeks I also begin to feel down and lay in the couch. Biking, skiing, trekking, it doesn’t matter, be out in the nature, far from the city.
antibland 8y ago
Unsolicited advice usually makes me feel worse about a given discomfort in my life. Do others really think I haven't considered these simple remedies? Most people assume that, if someone is in a bad way and sharing their experience, they possess the armchair wisdom to save them.
- Aeolun 8y ago
  I imagine they think you have tried most of them. But from experience, even if someone telling me to go do sports was getting really tiresome after a while. I was still looking for other things I could try.
matwood 8y ago
I can relate to your schedule, but you have to break it up. Working out every day is great, but 2 hours of 100% intensity is tough. It's okay to do a light run on some days. The Zen concept here is you want to fill everyday with as much as possible without impacting your ability to do the same tomorrow. Think of your life as a marathon instead of sprint. What hours would you need to keep to exercise and work every single day? Treat the week like that and you'll have the time and energy to do other things on the weekend. You also need to find some things outside work. Joining a sports league would help. You get your exercise and meet people. Jiu Jitsu is fun and many gyms treat all the members like extended family. It's also mentally challenging (think physical chess), so it gets your mind off of work. Good luck.
- glangdale 8y ago
  +1 for BJJ as a exercise/social thing. 2 hours a day of solo gym exercise is pathological unless you have some really good reason to be doing it and it's making someone happy. Which it clearly isn't. It's possible to get to 'intermediate' powerlifter level on about 2-3 hours a week. There are of course many other goals, but 12 hours a week in the gym is almost certainly reaching diminishing returns for almost any of the goals I can think of (with the possible exception of really hardcore bodybuilding or endurance work).
  - dominotw 8y ago
    BJJ is not good for older bodies :). Its too tempting to keep rolling and ignore signs your body is telling you. I think BJJ is the most grueling on your body of all combat sports.
    - glangdale 8y ago
      I'm a 46 year old mid-level blue belt. It's possible to avoid the temptation; I speak from experience as someone who has tried it both ways. It requires a considerable adjustment in your game and attitude to stay healthy, but I think it can be done (check back with me in a few years, though :-) ).
Camillo 8y ago
> I think it's mentally challenging, interesting, and important for our world and civilization What do you do, if I may ask?
screye 8y ago
OP, have you taken a look at alternate day total body workout splits, instead of working out every day ? Something like this : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDWyqnGhmWY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDWyqnGhmWY Maybe you want to ask yourself what you are working out for. If working out is actively eating into the reason that you are working out for, then I hope you can see the damage or at least the redundancy caused by extra workouts. Also, you could take a look at some workout-esque hobbies. Bouldering has become very popular recently. Maybe try playing a sport that is high intensity (like squash or swimming)
newnewpdro 8y ago
Work less and get outside more. Whatever it is your job entails, it's simply not important nor urgent enough to deprive yourself of experiencing a greater variety of living. Death, alone or accompanied, is inherently irrelevant. That you're even thinking about it suggests you're aware on some level that this pattern isn't a good use of your life. If you're going to the gym that often, you must be in great physical shape. Go climb a mountain, working at computers endlessly is for suckers.
muse900 8y ago
"Moderation in all things" - Aristotle Like others I think you should see a therapist about it. Work - Gym - Netflix, misses so many things from reaching a balanced life. A person needs to interact with others apart from their work and gym. Also I do understand that through e.g Netflix you are sort of interacting with 'others' points of views etc e.g getting emotional about your favourite character etc. Thing is that this needs to happen in your real life as well apart from the imaginary world of watching a film or online gaming for example. I too for some years while growing up got stuck into computer games, and it felt like it was the only thing I liked to do. I got out of it and I am happy I did so, now I have a family, I go out, I go to the gym, I like working too, I do play video games for 1-2 hours a day on my off time and I am quite happy that I explored and learnt that there are way more things in life than just video games. I hope that helps you understand that you also need some human interaction in your personal life.
- will_work4tears 8y ago
  Nobody wants to interact with me, can't speak for the grandparent, but not everybody has the same options as everybody else. With me, people have a visceral reaction of extreme dislike upon first meeting me, so I have to work twice as hard, and when "friendship" is so ephemeral it's a lot of work for little long term reward, tbh.
  - castlecrasher2 8y ago
    >people have a visceral reaction of extreme dislike upon first meeting me What makes you say that?
  - muse900 8y ago
    I was in the exact same position. Growing up and playing online games, spending most of my time with people that were obnoxious douches - cause who cares its the internet (and they were older), shaped me to be an obnoxious douche too. 18 to 20 it was all time low for me. Apart from being very obese, I just didn't care about anyone I'd meet in real life. I'd put up a wall and anytime I'd meet someone I would feel like they don't like me etc. Difference between you and me is that I worked heavily on it. I understood that I need to be more open to conversations and more kind. Also that not everyone speaks the online gaming culture language I do, people would not laugh at my brutal jokes cause not everyone plays games out there or has been subjected to trolling etc, and not everyone would diminish things so easily as I and other gamers would do. I lost all the extra weight and anytime the obnoxious douche would try to come out and be weird or mean to people I'd say no to him. If it did happen and I was a douche to someone, which can happen even today after many years I'd own up to it and be sorry and ask for forgiveness. Nothing in this life is a given and yes some people like me and you have to put extra work in order to make things happen. Its totally doable though. I'd also suggest you to find a therapist that you like and can trust and get some help on it. Hope that helps you on your quest.
WrtCdEvrydy 8y ago
I'm starting to see this more and more after reading Bullshit Jobs. What's thing where you see something and start seeing it more and more called?
- kthejoker2 8y ago
  Baader Meinhof phenomenon https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baader%E2%80%93Meinhof_effect?wprov=sfla1 https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baader%E2%80%93Meinhof_effec...
oulu2006 8y ago
I used to work out 1.5hrs 4 times a week -- it was so exhausting on-top of my normal day (I'm a dancer as well) that I was about to just let it all crash and walk away. I since changed my schedule to 40 min, 3 times a week, 2 sets, maximum reps till failure with pyramids. Most gains in strength i have ever achieved with the least amount of work I have ever done. Less time - more ROI check out @maclulich on Insta -- I can back it up.
- castlecrasher2 8y ago
  What's your routine?
  - oulu2006 8y ago
    3 full body days. 2 sets, each exercise, 3-4 exercises per day. For example (in kgs): 1. Deadlifts, 145x20, 150x13 2. Hamstring curls, 60x25, 65x18 3. Dumbbell bench, 32x24, 34x18 4. Lat pull down, 40x25, 44x18 Massive nervous system overload with high reps. This usually leaves me shaking and needing a 5-10 min rest at the end in the changing rooms before having the energy to change and leave. It's maximum effort in 40 min, and at least for me, it works. Increase reps/weight as u cross the 20+ rep barrier.
    - ensiferum 8y ago
      The key here is going over te same muscles more often than what a typical more mainstream routine would have you do, ie go over a muscle group once a week. The smaller the muscle group the faster they recover, day or two, and then the protein synthesis goes down the muscle begins to atrophy before the next stimulus arrives.
propogandist 8y ago
"What does it profit a man to gain the whole world, but lose his soul?" Be sure to guard your hearts from the idolatry of work.
kuroguro 8y ago
On loneliness: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3Xv_g3g-mA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3Xv_g3g-mA
patientplatypus 8y ago
So... If you are unhappy you should change. Take that as given. I will second the people who say two hours is a lot. Honestly more time with lighter amounts of activity (thinking walking rather than deadlifting) is actually healthier for you in the long run. The human body is a 250,000 year old OS with the last update maybe 10,000 years ago, and for most of that time we sat around and ate a badger (or similar) maybe once a week. If you want friends, join a group that does some light activity and then hangs out. Kickball is fun as is hiking or ultimate frisbee or kickboxing. Working out and friends can go together! Two birds stoned in the hand is worth three sober in the bush, or something.
dokem 8y ago
Do you smoke pot? That's how smoking makes me.
tkumarb 8y ago
Hugs
ttsiodras 8y ago
> ...if I died alone. An alternate viewpoint on this - perhaps it will help you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5_m_3eHuQo&t=7723s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5_m_3eHuQo&t=7723s Regardless of whether you agree with Big Clive on this, his channel is amazing - IMHO at least :-)

laurex 8y ago

Please read Feeling Good by Dr. David Burns, or even check out the website he maintains. He gives lots of resources for DIY Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, if you want to give that a shot before professional help.

lostgame 8y ago

First off, it seems as though your gym schedule is very intense and easing on that may help especially the physical aspect of what you’re going through. Secondly, I strongly recommend, if you don’t already, to just maybe see a therapist? It seems like you’ve got some cool things going on and like you could be a cool person, and sometimes it’s tough to reach out. I had to myself recently.

01100011 8y ago
Seriously. If they're hitting the gym with any sort of intensity, 2 hours a day is going to leave you destroyed on the weekends. 3-4 days a week is plenty. Your body needs to rebuild.
- matwood 8y ago
  2 hours/day at 100% intensity is a lot, but I have found doing something physical everyday to be key to mental health, sleeping better, and general well being. Very people go 100% even when they go to the gym 3x/week, so I don't want others reading this thinking that is all they need. In fact, people will be surprised what the body can do (go read up on ultra-marathoners, etc...). Few regular gym goers are even close to needing rest days, and instead use it as an excuse not to go.
  - 01100011 8y ago
    My gym is filled with people half-assing it(not even half really), sitting on equipment playing with their phones, or just generally doing it wrong. Those people aren't going to get the message no matter what. You either want it or you don't. I mean want it. "Want" is a funny word. My ex "wanted" everything but never put any effort into anything. That's not "want". "Want" is a desire strong enough to drive actions. If you don't have that, nothing can help you. I totally get you about the ultra marathoners. What I don't see is those people using their skills to benefit anything else in their lives. Sure, it's amazing to see someone, especially someone in their 50s or 60s, run 300+ miles. It's also sad to see them devote so much of their time to training and fueling that they have nothing left for anything else in their lives. I used to do 30-60 miles of fast walking in a week. Even at that level my job and social life took a hit. I think for anyone who is serious about hitting the recommended levels of fitness and exercise, a few hours a week, spread out into 3-4 visits, is more than enough. You should probably try to get some low intensity exercise every day, like walking and simple yoga, while maintaining good posture. If you do that, you'll stay fit, increase the chances of living a long life, and have enough time and energy left over for the important things in life.
    - Broken_Hippo 8y ago
      You are seriously looking down on the folks with their phones? How else are folks supposed to overcome the absolute drudgery and hate they have for the activity they are doing? I'd argue these folks are more motivated than the folks like you: Regardless for their hate for the activity, they are still doing it. It is the same reason I have headphones with some sort of entertainment when I walk or use treadmills. The same reason my spouse reads while on the stationary bike. These activities are an absolutely dreadful way to spend time. Especially when one could be home making artwork or music or devoting time to cooking something creative or even watching silly videos.
hartator 8y ago
Me too. If you need someone to reach out to in the Austin area, feel free to DM me.

jamesmiller5 8y ago

> I wouldn't be surprised if I died alone. Everyone eventually dies alone, but do not let that sadden you. A full life is measured in the depths of sorrow from that truth, not in avoiding it.

war1025 8y ago
Have you ever watched someone die? Dying is terrible, but there is definitely a difference between being surrounded by loved ones and being all alone or among strangers. "Everyone dies alone" is one of those things that is sort of technically correct, but has absolutely nothing to do with what people mean when they talk about dying alone.
- Aeolun 8y ago
  The dying alone part isn’t so bad. It likely takes less than a week or so. The sad part is the way there.
- yesenadam 8y ago
  Yes, I watched my mother die (of cancer). I was standing in a circle holding hands with her and 3 or 4 of her best friends. On a sunny day in a house with 180 degree ocean view. They scattered her ashes on the ocean.
  - war1025 8y ago
    My dad died (also of cancer) 3 years ago last week. Didn't have a view of the ocean or anything fancy like that. But at least we got to be there for it.
    - yesenadam 8y ago
      Ah sorry to hear that. Not her house, she just had an amazing knack for having friends with nice houses that needed to be house-sat!
- Broken_Hippo 8y ago

seibelj 8y ago

You should definitely see a therapist, you sound clinically depressed. Laying in bed all weekend is not healthy. Making friends and having lasting relationships takes effort but is a requirement to have a happy and fulfilling life (excluding total hermits who are perfectly happy ignoring family, friends, and social contact, and some of those people do exist on HN and will argue with this comment). You have a career, now it's time to have a life. You owe it to yourself.

rofo1 8y ago
"Requirement" is too strong a word. We've all read the Harvard 75 years old study [0] probably here, cause it was posted couple of times on HN, but I for one side with Chamfort: "Happiness is very difficult to find in yourself, but impossible to find someplace else" I've felt this way all my life, even before I read Chamfort. I always valued quality relationships with people, not just any relationship with anyone. To me, being alone is much better than being in the wrong company. It's very hard to find good, well-mannered people with moral integrity. At least it is for me. And based on everything I see around me, those people are just rare. Most people tolerate each other, instead of actively wanting to be friends/whatever with each other. I don't fully understand why that is. But is just is. I'm curious to see other's thoughts on this subject, though. [0] - https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/inspired-life/wp/2016/03/02/harvard-researchers-discovered-the-one-thing-everyone-needs-for-happier-healthier-lives https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/inspired-life/wp/2016/03...
- SZJX 8y ago
  Exactly. I feel like I've had enough bad companies/relationships to be really content just to be on myself. And I feel so, so much better off with it. I have total tranquility of mins and can concentrate on what I'm passionate about, instead of being always upset, disappointed or have my attention taken away and all that. I still actively engage in online communities and this makes me happy. Also I maintain occasional contact with a few friends, who I sense to share my values and are generally reliable, which seems more than enough really. People might have tended to "tolerate" others because it was harder to survive without the others, when technologies were not that advanced. But do a lot of people really want to be with the others that much? This I really doubt. Also I feel the couple mentioned in that article might have well been better off if they could actually pursue their passions instead of focusing solely on personal relationships, or why not both indeed.

abnry 8y ago

This was me in grad school. I did do stuff on the weekends, but most of it was vegging. It didn't work out for me healthwise. I would recommend trying to transition into a more slow-burn, less intense lifestyle. If work is that intense that you need to crash on the weekends, it can add up over time in bad ways.

bitL 8y ago

I faced similar things regarding time management. I shifted my exercise stuff towards HIIT, i.e. short but super intense exercises most of days (~30 minutes), with 2x/week strenuous weightlifting ones that might take longer. I know this limited amount won't make me an Olympic winner, but I don't care. Then, remote work with my own hours helps another time management issue; usually I am done working at 2pm and can do something with my life. Then once/twice a month I throw a party where I invite a lot of people from all around the world from different fields, many of whom I never interacted with before (if you are in a large international city, it gets easier). Then there are hobbies, where I suddenly have time to pursue e.g. serious photography or electronic music composition etc.

shanusmagnus 8y ago
This is a super intriguing comment. Could you say more about the parties? I'm imagining a bunch of your Twitter followers descending from everywhere on Munich or something into a warehouse that you rent out.

drharby 8y ago

Your life isnt pathetic, youre focusing on what matters to you rn in life. >t. Same except managed to find energy to enjoy my weekends. The secret is healthy diet, 8 hours sleep, drinking water, and limit in alcohol

matwood 8y ago
> The secret is healthy diet, 8 hours sleep, drinking water, and limit in alcohol It's not really a secret. We all know this, but few execute (common theme in life?).

omegant 8y ago

I think we all need to be part of a small tribe, a group of friends we see at least every two weeks or so. Also getting intense contact with nature, I’ve noticed that if I’m without going out for more than 2 weeks I also begin to feel down and lay in the couch. Biking, skiing, trekking, it doesn’t matter, be out in the nature, far from the city.

antibland 8y ago

Unsolicited advice usually makes me feel worse about a given discomfort in my life. Do others really think I haven't considered these simple remedies? Most people assume that, if someone is in a bad way and sharing their experience, they possess the armchair wisdom to save them.

Aeolun 8y ago
I imagine they think you have tried most of them. But from experience, even if someone telling me to go do sports was getting really tiresome after a while. I was still looking for other things I could try.

matwood 8y ago

I can relate to your schedule, but you have to break it up. Working out every day is great, but 2 hours of 100% intensity is tough. It's okay to do a light run on some days. The Zen concept here is you want to fill everyday with as much as possible without impacting your ability to do the same tomorrow. Think of your life as a marathon instead of sprint. What hours would you need to keep to exercise and work every single day? Treat the week like that and you'll have the time and energy to do other things on the weekend. You also need to find some things outside work. Joining a sports league would help. You get your exercise and meet people. Jiu Jitsu is fun and many gyms treat all the members like extended family. It's also mentally challenging (think physical chess), so it gets your mind off of work. Good luck.

glangdale 8y ago
+1 for BJJ as a exercise/social thing. 2 hours a day of solo gym exercise is pathological unless you have some really good reason to be doing it and it's making someone happy. Which it clearly isn't. It's possible to get to 'intermediate' powerlifter level on about 2-3 hours a week. There are of course many other goals, but 12 hours a week in the gym is almost certainly reaching diminishing returns for almost any of the goals I can think of (with the possible exception of really hardcore bodybuilding or endurance work).
- dominotw 8y ago
  BJJ is not good for older bodies :). Its too tempting to keep rolling and ignore signs your body is telling you. I think BJJ is the most grueling on your body of all combat sports.
  - glangdale 8y ago
    I'm a 46 year old mid-level blue belt. It's possible to avoid the temptation; I speak from experience as someone who has tried it both ways. It requires a considerable adjustment in your game and attitude to stay healthy, but I think it can be done (check back with me in a few years, though :-) ).

Camillo 8y ago

> I think it's mentally challenging, interesting, and important for our world and civilization What do you do, if I may ask?

screye 8y ago

OP, have you taken a look at alternate day total body workout splits, instead of working out every day ? Something like this : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDWyqnGhmWY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDWyqnGhmWY Maybe you want to ask yourself what you are working out for. If working out is actively eating into the reason that you are working out for, then I hope you can see the damage or at least the redundancy caused by extra workouts. Also, you could take a look at some workout-esque hobbies. Bouldering has become very popular recently. Maybe try playing a sport that is high intensity (like squash or swimming)

newnewpdro 8y ago

Work less and get outside more. Whatever it is your job entails, it's simply not important nor urgent enough to deprive yourself of experiencing a greater variety of living. Death, alone or accompanied, is inherently irrelevant. That you're even thinking about it suggests you're aware on some level that this pattern isn't a good use of your life. If you're going to the gym that often, you must be in great physical shape. Go climb a mountain, working at computers endlessly is for suckers.

muse900 8y ago

"Moderation in all things" - Aristotle Like others I think you should see a therapist about it. Work - Gym - Netflix, misses so many things from reaching a balanced life. A person needs to interact with others apart from their work and gym. Also I do understand that through e.g Netflix you are sort of interacting with 'others' points of views etc e.g getting emotional about your favourite character etc. Thing is that this needs to happen in your real life as well apart from the imaginary world of watching a film or online gaming for example. I too for some years while growing up got stuck into computer games, and it felt like it was the only thing I liked to do. I got out of it and I am happy I did so, now I have a family, I go out, I go to the gym, I like working too, I do play video games for 1-2 hours a day on my off time and I am quite happy that I explored and learnt that there are way more things in life than just video games. I hope that helps you understand that you also need some human interaction in your personal life.

will_work4tears 8y ago
Nobody wants to interact with me, can't speak for the grandparent, but not everybody has the same options as everybody else. With me, people have a visceral reaction of extreme dislike upon first meeting me, so I have to work twice as hard, and when "friendship" is so ephemeral it's a lot of work for little long term reward, tbh.
- castlecrasher2 8y ago
  >people have a visceral reaction of extreme dislike upon first meeting me What makes you say that?
- muse900 8y ago
  I was in the exact same position. Growing up and playing online games, spending most of my time with people that were obnoxious douches - cause who cares its the internet (and they were older), shaped me to be an obnoxious douche too. 18 to 20 it was all time low for me. Apart from being very obese, I just didn't care about anyone I'd meet in real life. I'd put up a wall and anytime I'd meet someone I would feel like they don't like me etc. Difference between you and me is that I worked heavily on it. I understood that I need to be more open to conversations and more kind. Also that not everyone speaks the online gaming culture language I do, people would not laugh at my brutal jokes cause not everyone plays games out there or has been subjected to trolling etc, and not everyone would diminish things so easily as I and other gamers would do. I lost all the extra weight and anytime the obnoxious douche would try to come out and be weird or mean to people I'd say no to him. If it did happen and I was a douche to someone, which can happen even today after many years I'd own up to it and be sorry and ask for forgiveness. Nothing in this life is a given and yes some people like me and you have to put extra work in order to make things happen. Its totally doable though. I'd also suggest you to find a therapist that you like and can trust and get some help on it. Hope that helps you on your quest.

WrtCdEvrydy 8y ago

I'm starting to see this more and more after reading Bullshit Jobs. What's thing where you see something and start seeing it more and more called?

kthejoker2 8y ago
Baader Meinhof phenomenon https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baader%E2%80%93Meinhof_effect?wprov=sfla1 https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baader%E2%80%93Meinhof_effec...

oulu2006 8y ago

I used to work out 1.5hrs 4 times a week -- it was so exhausting on-top of my normal day (I'm a dancer as well) that I was about to just let it all crash and walk away. I since changed my schedule to 40 min, 3 times a week, 2 sets, maximum reps till failure with pyramids. Most gains in strength i have ever achieved with the least amount of work I have ever done. Less time - more ROI check out @maclulich on Insta -- I can back it up.

castlecrasher2 8y ago
What's your routine?
- oulu2006 8y ago
  3 full body days. 2 sets, each exercise, 3-4 exercises per day. For example (in kgs): 1. Deadlifts, 145x20, 150x13 2. Hamstring curls, 60x25, 65x18 3. Dumbbell bench, 32x24, 34x18 4. Lat pull down, 40x25, 44x18 Massive nervous system overload with high reps. This usually leaves me shaking and needing a 5-10 min rest at the end in the changing rooms before having the energy to change and leave. It's maximum effort in 40 min, and at least for me, it works. Increase reps/weight as u cross the 20+ rep barrier.
  - ensiferum 8y ago
    The key here is going over te same muscles more often than what a typical more mainstream routine would have you do, ie go over a muscle group once a week. The smaller the muscle group the faster they recover, day or two, and then the protein synthesis goes down the muscle begins to atrophy before the next stimulus arrives.

propogandist 8y ago

"What does it profit a man to gain the whole world, but lose his soul?" Be sure to guard your hearts from the idolatry of work.

kuroguro 8y ago

On loneliness: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3Xv_g3g-mA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3Xv_g3g-mA

patientplatypus 8y ago

So... If you are unhappy you should change. Take that as given. I will second the people who say two hours is a lot. Honestly more time with lighter amounts of activity (thinking walking rather than deadlifting) is actually healthier for you in the long run. The human body is a 250,000 year old OS with the last update maybe 10,000 years ago, and for most of that time we sat around and ate a badger (or similar) maybe once a week. If you want friends, join a group that does some light activity and then hangs out. Kickball is fun as is hiking or ultimate frisbee or kickboxing. Working out and friends can go together! Two birds stoned in the hand is worth three sober in the bush, or something.

dokem 8y ago

Do you smoke pot? That's how smoking makes me.

tkumarb 8y ago

Hugs

ttsiodras 8y ago

> ...if I died alone. An alternate viewpoint on this - perhaps it will help you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5_m_3eHuQo&t=7723s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5_m_3eHuQo&t=7723s Regardless of whether you agree with Big Clive on this, his channel is amazing - IMHO at least :-)