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I have a small family, and a "home office". My wife works and I take care of the infant. My home has an open floor plan where the kitchen and living room are on

I have a small family, and a "home office". My wife works and I take care of the infant. My home has an open floor plan where the kitchen and living room are one in the same, and that's my primary workspace. I'm not a fan of a dedicated room, and I work solely on a laptop - long ago rid myself of elaborate stationary setups, I enjoy taking my laptop into multiple rooms, even outside. When the wife gets home, work typically stops. I'm a night owl and she's an early riser, so I'm not working when she's around in the morning, and I like work at night after she falls asleep. We also have two dogs, which are a JOY to have around during the day. Having the kid and dogs around, combined with occasional errands and household tasks, provides the exact right amount of distraction and interruption I like to have. I typically only work in 2 hour increments, and then tend to another responsibility, or purposefully head out to do something for an hour. Breaks in the day keeps my mind fresh and oddly enough, allows me to focus more when I sit down to work. As for what the optimal setup is - that's incredibly personal and subjective, and everyone needs to figure that out for themselves over time. Some generic advice would be: - set at-work time limits - set off-limits hours where you do not work under any circumstances - find a comfortable space (that can be anything from a coworking space, to the living room) - find your perfect "white noise." it can get really quiet at home. having something in the background can help. I personally like to keep netflix running, or a movie streaming.

mattbeckman 8y ago
I've been remote for ~6 years now. Started working remotely when I had my first. I have a dedicated office, but now there are 3 of them. Oh, the noise noise noise noise.
triangleman 8y ago
I'm sorry but I don't understand, are you saying that you are able to do your work at the same time as taking care of a baby?
- andromedavision 8y ago
  Lol. I find that to be quite something. I couldn't fathom attempting something like this. Every time someone distracts me I spend another 15 minutes or so getting back into the 'zone'.
- madcaptenor 8y ago
  I've tried to do this with my six-month-old. (I don't plan to work if I'm the only adult in the house, but occasionally my wife needs a break...) It really only works if the "work" I'm doing is being on a call that I don't really need to be invited to.
- justjash 8y ago
  Yeah, this is weird. I would be very surprised if the company doesn't have some sort rule against this. I started working from home a few months ago and as part of the agreement there is a clause about not being the primary caregiver of a dependent child while working. I'm not sure how you could get much of anything done attempting to do that.
- spullara 8y ago
  It is completely impossible to have a real full time job and take care of a child at the same time unless yours happens to sleep the entire time. If this was possible all those moms could just work from home! I can barely work at home without locking the door if children under 5 are in the house and there is another adult taking care of them.
- richardwhiuk 8y ago
  People wonder why people look down on remote work, when someone is 'remote working' by being a primary caregiver to a baby.....
Benjamin_Dobell 8y ago
I imagine this varies based on the child. How are you finding working and being the primary carer of an infant? Do you have any particular strategies for getting work done, and somehow keeping your child safe, entertained and developing? I've got a 6-month old daughter, but my wife doesn't head back to work for another 3 months. I'm a bit concerned about my productivity once that happens. I absolutely love spending time interacting with my daughter, in my free time. However, I presently find it near impossible to work when I'm the only carer around, unless she happens to be asleep. Hopefully that changes in 3 months and she's capable of short periods of independent play - but I'm not quite sure what to expect. I've worked full-time at home for approximately the last 5 years. So I have very much got that down pat. Unfortunately, I can't work on a laptop anymore, as I developed RSI doing so a few years back (was working long hours, my own fault). I've also got two dogs which I love having around. However, once my daughter can walk (and harass them) they'll have to be mostly separated from my daughter. They're 50kg, so any small mishap would be a large mishap - can't take that risk. We've got a fully fenced acre out back so the dogs can't really complain! I'm also a night owl, its 4:30 AM here and I'm pushing Docker images to ECR ;) It's quite strange how much more efficient I am working at night. I've tried all sorts of things to work on a "normal" schedule. Running on the treadmill in the morning, going for walks at lunch etc. No matter what, when I really need to get work done, I fall back into a night routine - even though I'm putting in the same total hours. How do you manage being a night owl and being awake to look after your child during the day?
- krolley 8y ago
  I don't know how the GP poster is doing it, because it is practically impossible to be the primary caregiver of an infant or toddler, and be able to work at the same time. Don't fool yourself into thinking you will somehow manage, and I suggest you start discussing options with your wife for when she heads back to work.
  - Benjamin_Dobell 8y ago
    It's alright, we're not totally naive. My wife is only heading back to work part-time, and we have baby-sitters lined up for 75% of the time. For the remaining 25% I'm fully expecting that I'll be working catch-up hours in evenings. However, I was holding onto the hope that I might be able to get some work done with my daughter in the room, and was genuinely curious about the parent post's purported success.
dpeterson 8y ago
Do you have toddlers too or just the infant? I have a 3 year old at home and I work from home 2 days a week. It was fine when he was an infant but now I have to work either from Whole Foods or the library. It is challenging. I can't just get up and go to the bathroom and leave my stuff. If I try to work from home my 3 year old son demands my attention. I am desperate for a secure place to work from. I was hoping Lifetime Fitness would put one of their new co-work offices in my location but that may be a long time out. I'm just curious if you have plans for when your infant gets older. Maybe I am doing it wrong but there is 0 chance to work when I am in the house with him.
- Benjamin_Dobell 8y ago
  Wait, you're saying it's easier when they're an infant? Uh oh. I'm in trouble!
  - organsnyder 8y ago
    Once they're mobile, it gets many times harder. It goes something like this: - Newborn to ~6-9 months: not mobile, and not too demanding either (especially early on) - 6-9 months to 3 years: mobile and constantly trying to hurt themselves - 3-5 years: mobile, mostly safe, but not understanding what "no" or "I'm busy right now" or "I'm on the phone" or "I need privacy" means; also not napping anymore, which means you lose that daily couple hours of bliss - >5 years: gets progressively easier as kids begin to get independent and (somewhat) reasonable Of course, this timeline is different for every kid. We have four kids ranging in age from 1-7 years old. I work from home, but rarely am I in charge of taking care of the kids (right now, for instance, my mom is watching them while my wife runs errands). On the occasions where I am solely responsible for them, I consider any work I get done to be a bonus.
    - andromedavision 8y ago
      You've got such a great mom to help you out in this way.
      - 8y ago
abledon 8y ago
What type of it job is this? Software dev? Says admin? cots config ?
ghaff 8y ago
I have a nice permanent office setup but the past few years I've taken to working on my laptop in various places around the house a lot of the time. Not sure why. I still need my desktop for certain tasks (like photo editing) and sometimes the dual monitors are really useful. But for day-to-day work, I usually just use my laptop.
clubm8 8y ago
Out of curiosity, how do you set boundaries with your employer? One thing I've struggled with in the past is employers who seem to expect 8 hours of solid productivity a day if I'm remote. When I was in the office, it was easier to say "well sorry, I've followed up twice in 3 days on issue x, and unfortunately you got back to me after I'd left for the weekend". When I'm remote, since there is the flexibility to stop and start work, but that seems to come at the expense that when doing work that requires collaboration, someone can delay responding on something that's a block, and then there's some pressure to "make up" for the "unproductive" time. You don't get any good grace for "being present" and there's less of the social aspect. (If I had downtime in an office, I might make some tea and ask a coworker about their kids/hobbies, a random slack DM feels intrusive) How did you handle this issue? Did you just establish "core hours" you are available? I've encountered similar issues in non-remote workspaces, and it's something I'm keenly interested in. I am not a lazy person, but I desire a delineation between "work time" and "personal time", and struggle to set that boundary without seeing my career struggle.
- LyndsySimon 8y ago
  A couple of things jump out to me. The first is that "hours" is a terrible measure of productivity. I find that I work best when I actually sit down and write code about four hours per day. Some days it's more like six, and occasionally it'll be even more, if I'm in the flow and have a clear path worked out. Even less often, I won't be able to focus and will instead putz around most or all of the day doing "soft work" - answering emails, reviewing small PRs, etc. The trick to this that I've found is to find an employer where you're evaluated in a way that makes sense. Story points work OK most of the time, but overall progress to goal is even better. To find a place like that, you have to evaluate the team you'll be working with. To keep it, you'll need to make strong ties to your team members and learn their rhythm. Your work schedule needs to work with theirs, whatever that might be. The second is that you have to set expectations early, and stick with them. If you want to work set hours, then state that. Don't be easily accessible outside those hours. Personally, I'm almost always available if something needs done at work, but very rarely have to jump up and do something immediately. It's rare that I want time completely separate from work, but when I do I just let my team know in Slack that I'll be incommunicado and it's not an issue.
adobeeee 8y ago
Your advice is so simple and yet something I had never thought of- "set no work hours". Do you blog or have any other advice? You seem to have a lot figured out.

mattbeckman 8y ago

I've been remote for ~6 years now. Started working remotely when I had my first. I have a dedicated office, but now there are 3 of them. Oh, the noise noise noise noise.

triangleman 8y ago

I'm sorry but I don't understand, are you saying that you are able to do your work at the same time as taking care of a baby?

andromedavision 8y ago
Lol. I find that to be quite something. I couldn't fathom attempting something like this. Every time someone distracts me I spend another 15 minutes or so getting back into the 'zone'.
madcaptenor 8y ago
I've tried to do this with my six-month-old. (I don't plan to work if I'm the only adult in the house, but occasionally my wife needs a break...) It really only works if the "work" I'm doing is being on a call that I don't really need to be invited to.
justjash 8y ago
Yeah, this is weird. I would be very surprised if the company doesn't have some sort rule against this. I started working from home a few months ago and as part of the agreement there is a clause about not being the primary caregiver of a dependent child while working. I'm not sure how you could get much of anything done attempting to do that.
spullara 8y ago
It is completely impossible to have a real full time job and take care of a child at the same time unless yours happens to sleep the entire time. If this was possible all those moms could just work from home! I can barely work at home without locking the door if children under 5 are in the house and there is another adult taking care of them.
richardwhiuk 8y ago
People wonder why people look down on remote work, when someone is 'remote working' by being a primary caregiver to a baby.....

Benjamin_Dobell 8y ago

I imagine this varies based on the child. How are you finding working and being the primary carer of an infant? Do you have any particular strategies for getting work done, and somehow keeping your child safe, entertained and developing? I've got a 6-month old daughter, but my wife doesn't head back to work for another 3 months. I'm a bit concerned about my productivity once that happens. I absolutely love spending time interacting with my daughter, in my free time. However, I presently find it near impossible to work when I'm the only carer around, unless she happens to be asleep. Hopefully that changes in 3 months and she's capable of short periods of independent play - but I'm not quite sure what to expect. I've worked full-time at home for approximately the last 5 years. So I have very much got that down pat. Unfortunately, I can't work on a laptop anymore, as I developed RSI doing so a few years back (was working long hours, my own fault). I've also got two dogs which I love having around. However, once my daughter can walk (and harass them) they'll have to be mostly separated from my daughter. They're 50kg, so any small mishap would be a large mishap - can't take that risk. We've got a fully fenced acre out back so the dogs can't really complain! I'm also a night owl, its 4:30 AM here and I'm pushing Docker images to ECR ;) It's quite strange how much more efficient I am working at night. I've tried all sorts of things to work on a "normal" schedule. Running on the treadmill in the morning, going for walks at lunch etc. No matter what, when I really need to get work done, I fall back into a night routine - even though I'm putting in the same total hours. How do you manage being a night owl and being awake to look after your child during the day?

krolley 8y ago
I don't know how the GP poster is doing it, because it is practically impossible to be the primary caregiver of an infant or toddler, and be able to work at the same time. Don't fool yourself into thinking you will somehow manage, and I suggest you start discussing options with your wife for when she heads back to work.
- Benjamin_Dobell 8y ago
  It's alright, we're not totally naive. My wife is only heading back to work part-time, and we have baby-sitters lined up for 75% of the time. For the remaining 25% I'm fully expecting that I'll be working catch-up hours in evenings. However, I was holding onto the hope that I might be able to get some work done with my daughter in the room, and was genuinely curious about the parent post's purported success.

dpeterson 8y ago

Do you have toddlers too or just the infant? I have a 3 year old at home and I work from home 2 days a week. It was fine when he was an infant but now I have to work either from Whole Foods or the library. It is challenging. I can't just get up and go to the bathroom and leave my stuff. If I try to work from home my 3 year old son demands my attention. I am desperate for a secure place to work from. I was hoping Lifetime Fitness would put one of their new co-work offices in my location but that may be a long time out. I'm just curious if you have plans for when your infant gets older. Maybe I am doing it wrong but there is 0 chance to work when I am in the house with him.

Benjamin_Dobell 8y ago
Wait, you're saying it's easier when they're an infant? Uh oh. I'm in trouble!
- organsnyder 8y ago
  Once they're mobile, it gets many times harder. It goes something like this: - Newborn to ~6-9 months: not mobile, and not too demanding either (especially early on) - 6-9 months to 3 years: mobile and constantly trying to hurt themselves - 3-5 years: mobile, mostly safe, but not understanding what "no" or "I'm busy right now" or "I'm on the phone" or "I need privacy" means; also not napping anymore, which means you lose that daily couple hours of bliss - >5 years: gets progressively easier as kids begin to get independent and (somewhat) reasonable Of course, this timeline is different for every kid. We have four kids ranging in age from 1-7 years old. I work from home, but rarely am I in charge of taking care of the kids (right now, for instance, my mom is watching them while my wife runs errands). On the occasions where I am solely responsible for them, I consider any work I get done to be a bonus.
  - andromedavision 8y ago
    You've got such a great mom to help you out in this way.
    - 8y ago

abledon 8y ago

What type of it job is this? Software dev? Says admin? cots config ?

ghaff 8y ago

I have a nice permanent office setup but the past few years I've taken to working on my laptop in various places around the house a lot of the time. Not sure why. I still need my desktop for certain tasks (like photo editing) and sometimes the dual monitors are really useful. But for day-to-day work, I usually just use my laptop.

clubm8 8y ago

Out of curiosity, how do you set boundaries with your employer? One thing I've struggled with in the past is employers who seem to expect 8 hours of solid productivity a day if I'm remote. When I was in the office, it was easier to say "well sorry, I've followed up twice in 3 days on issue x, and unfortunately you got back to me after I'd left for the weekend". When I'm remote, since there is the flexibility to stop and start work, but that seems to come at the expense that when doing work that requires collaboration, someone can delay responding on something that's a block, and then there's some pressure to "make up" for the "unproductive" time. You don't get any good grace for "being present" and there's less of the social aspect. (If I had downtime in an office, I might make some tea and ask a coworker about their kids/hobbies, a random slack DM feels intrusive) How did you handle this issue? Did you just establish "core hours" you are available? I've encountered similar issues in non-remote workspaces, and it's something I'm keenly interested in. I am not a lazy person, but I desire a delineation between "work time" and "personal time", and struggle to set that boundary without seeing my career struggle.

LyndsySimon 8y ago
A couple of things jump out to me. The first is that "hours" is a terrible measure of productivity. I find that I work best when I actually sit down and write code about four hours per day. Some days it's more like six, and occasionally it'll be even more, if I'm in the flow and have a clear path worked out. Even less often, I won't be able to focus and will instead putz around most or all of the day doing "soft work" - answering emails, reviewing small PRs, etc. The trick to this that I've found is to find an employer where you're evaluated in a way that makes sense. Story points work OK most of the time, but overall progress to goal is even better. To find a place like that, you have to evaluate the team you'll be working with. To keep it, you'll need to make strong ties to your team members and learn their rhythm. Your work schedule needs to work with theirs, whatever that might be. The second is that you have to set expectations early, and stick with them. If you want to work set hours, then state that. Don't be easily accessible outside those hours. Personally, I'm almost always available if something needs done at work, but very rarely have to jump up and do something immediately. It's rare that I want time completely separate from work, but when I do I just let my team know in Slack that I'll be incommunicado and it's not an issue.

adobeeee 8y ago

Your advice is so simple and yet something I had never thought of- "set no work hours". Do you blog or have any other advice? You seem to have a lot figured out.