8 ms·
The software engineer’s guide to asserting dominance in the workplace
- deklerk 8y agoThis is good satire about overly-aggressive folks / jerks heh. I guess the one nit I have is about the predilection to rag on weightlifters. It's just a hobby for many people. I don't do it myself, but I have met loads of the friendliest people that do. Working out, having protein shakes, and eating hard-boiled eggs do not make someone a jerk. /shrug
- postsantum 8y agoSubstitute weightlifting for crossfit. I know a guy who used to do his burpees in the office.
- megaman22 8y agoCrossfitters do seem to be a bit more... intense... about it than people who just lift. It can be this whole lifestyle and almost religion with some of them, particularly if it is dual-classed with other health & fitness fads, which is a little tiresome to be around.
- ar_lan 8y agoAre you really against people wanting to live a healthier lifestyle, though?
- TeMPOraL 8y agoIt's one thing to live a healthy lifestyle, it's another to keep pushing it on other people. The former is commendable, the latter is annoying.
- badosu 8y agoWorks pretty well for the gym though, I wonder if this is intended or not. ..
- nradov 8y agoI don't think anyone is against CrossFit. The general concern is that many of their athletes lift weights with poor technique and eventually end up injured, which isn't healthier at all.
- maxxxxx 8y agoI have my doubts about Crossfit being a healthy long term proposition. From what I have seen only a few people keep it up long term. It seems more like a short term rush. Reminds me of people who get into running, then train for marathons, do one and then stop running because the effort is too much.
- jsmthrowaway 8y agoThe best is hand exercisers for an entire 30 minute 1x1. That was my first 1x1 with said manager after I got reorganized under him. He tried to hand me a really awful Excel project at minute 29.5 after asking me what SRE means and what I do for the first 29 to a wonderful squeak squeak squeak soundtrack, and I immediately handed him my badge and left the premises. (True story. Not proud, but I couldn’t stay sane 30 minutes, let alone 30 quarters.)
- s2g 8y agoor long distance runners. Not people who do a 5k once a week as part of working out, or run a couple miles. The people who obsess about it. Everything is about running.
- crb002 8y agoMost of the weightlifters I know are chill.
- malmsteen 8y agoEdit: ok this was too much
- csa 8y agoWhile I am familiar with the type of person you are referring to, I humbly suggest that you change gyms. Most psychologically mature people who lift weights do so because it’s damn good for your body and mind. I agree with GP that most of the people I know who lift weights are very chill.
- asdsa5325 8y agoSo rude...
- nrdgrl 8y agoThis account seems to be dedicated to only submitting this article to HN. https://hn.algolia.com/?query=The%20software%20engineer%E2%80%99s%20guide%20to%20asserting%20dominance%20in%20the%20workplace&sort=byDate&dateRange=all&type=story&storyText=false&prefix&page=0 https://hn.algolia.com/?query=The%20software%20engineer%E2%8...
- TN1ck 8y agoAll submissions where done by different accounts. Are you looking at the wrong page? lobo_tuerto's other submissions are https://news.ycombinator.com/submitted?id=lobo_tuerto https://news.ycombinator.com/submitted?id=lobo_tuerto
- zebraflask 8y agoHilarious because it's true.
- glitchc 8y agoThis is hilarious. Although I do use a mechanical keyboard at work (MX Brown though, and got the boss's permission first). And my team doesn't use git (yet).
- madeuptempacct 8y agoWe (my team and and 5 others joined over time) started doing wallsits and planks outside of the open space twice a day for 5 minutes total. Are we assholes?
- mynd 8y agoSo much misguided angst. The author of this satire was probably listening to Taking Back Sunday while using a fake profile to stalk a girl from a high school he attended 14 years ago while writing this.
- Scipio_Afri 8y agoWell, that seemed like a hilariously specific combination of things for that fictional person you speak of.
- KhanMahGretsch 8y ago"Be the first one at your daily stand-up, and run it like the Scrum master you know you are." Surely a true alpha would declare that scrum and agile are "dead".
- tptacek 8y agoThis is just the same joke told over and over again. Also, just from a personality perspective, the crazy weightlifter types in the offices I've worked have always been the nicest people. I can't say that about the nerd's nerds (I'm in that category!).
- sanderjd 8y agoI agree that ragging on weightlifters isn't the strongest part of the joke. But I liked the caricature of the a-hole at standup who is both the take-it-offline police and the primary offender. I've been that a-hole and fully deserve the send-up.
- desireco42 8y agoI agree with you, however this is amalgam of all personalities :) There was a guy I nicknamed Fidel, because he would go on endless tirades during standup.
- ClassyHacker 8y agoWell it is from Jan 22, 2016
- bdcravens 8y agoI've done some mentoring calls with a guy who is a competitive weightlifter in his spare time. He's a junior dev, extremely polite, and very eager to learn. Our company just hired a remote developer who really focuses on his physical health, and it shows. Quiet, respectful, and an A+ dev.
- eeZah7Ux 8y agoThe jokes about weightlifting are marginal. The article underlines and pokes fun at the culture of "asserting dominance" and "alpha (maleness)" which involves being aggressive, loud, intimidating. E.g. "lock eye-contact with the person to your left, and do not break until they look away")
- deleted 8y ago[deleted]
- seanmcdirmid 8y agoHow acceptable are mechanical keyboards in open offices? In China, I used a model M since our office was loud anyways, but in the states I went with something with cherry brown switches even though I really wanted the louder cherry blue ones. Is there some kind of standard etiquette to follow?
- cosinetau 8y agoStandard etiquette might just be empathy. If you have ever felt annoyed by audio you could not control, then you should strongly consider a quiet keyboard for your office.
- chrisper 8y agoHaving a loud keyboard anywhere where other people are working is really obnoxious... don't do it. People may not confront you about it, but they will hate you internally.
- kylek 8y agoYah, don’t. I’m constantly flabbergasted by peoples’ lack of awareness when it comes to noise in the office. It’s up there with other attention seeking behaviors like whistling in the office. WHYYYYYYY (Sorry, venting)
- BerislavLopac 8y agoI would for once love to work in an office where the sound of your keyboard is the biggest concern when it comes to noise... :-(
- dominotw 8y agoopen offices are a clusterfuck you have no option but to wear headphones anyways, I don't know anyone who doesn't have headphones handy in an open office. 1. People having meetings at their desk cos conf rooms are never available. 2. People talking random non work related stuff in groups. 3. Keyboard noises. 4. Food smells.
- seanmcdirmid 8y ago
- hitekker 8y agoHave you ever noticed that people who find light-hearted satire "unfunny" typically tend to be deeply insecure about the subject being satirized? Like they never admit to being offended but instead pretend the joke was boring, uninteresting or some other sleight. I'm a weightlifter, my friends are fitness freaks. We can laugh at ourselves, and we can certainly laugh at wannabe-alpha's.
- trevor-e 8y agoI definitely agree, however, half of the satire that was supposed to be about software engineering was just rehashed weightlifting jokes.
- hitekker 8y agoSure but I’d say the juxtaposition of those jokes freshens them up. A gymrat treating an office like his fiefdom is a fine enough premise; not the funniest but also not repetitious.
- tedunangst 8y agoWhat are people supposed to say if a joke is boring and unfunny?
- sbilstein 8y agoUgh those keyboards make me feel like such a plebeian with my mediocre apple keyboards. I do not understand the appeal and just put my headphones on.
- actionscripted 8y agoLong-time Mac user and as a result long-time Mac keyboard user. Loved the low-profile desktop and laptop keyboards. Didn't realize until I gave a mechanical board a chance (felt super weird hitting full-height keys!) but I was making a ton of typos and going slower on the Mac boards. Now that I've gotten used to my mechanical keyboard I feel more confident in my touch typing and my speed has gone up considerably. I did install dampener rings, though, because I didn't like how loud things were and how the keys felt.
- chatmasta 8y agoSatire articles are valuable when they highlight a real problem. If they fail to do so, they just sound like complaining. This article falls into that latter category IMO. There are plenty of actual jerks out there, with habits you can write about satirically, but weight lifting? Come on. It just sounds like jealousy of other people who take better care of their own health than the author does his. Also, if I were a co-worker of this author who lifted weights, I would probably feel personally offended, as it implies he had me in mind when writing the article. I did find the standup section funny though.
- zebraflask 8y agoI suppose you have be involved in weightlifting for some of the humor to resonate. I have been, for years, and that part had me in stitches. Completely skewers some of the stereotypes, which of course have a grain of truth.
- debt 8y ago“Plug in your own mechanical keyboard“ Note to anyone who does this: I know, I know you think it’s cool but it’s so not and you’re an asshole. The only way you can redeem yourself is by taking the keyboard home immediately and resigning because no one wants to work with assholes.
- badosu 8y agoWhat if the keyboard is silent, e.g. brown switches or lighter? What is the issue in choosing the work tool you'll be using for 8+ hours daily? And how does that make you an asshole?
- debt 8y agoThe fact that I didn’t even know they made quiet mechanical keyboards shows you how many assholes I’ve worked with throughout the years.
- PappaPatat 8y agoThat would be one and you just classified all mechanical keyboards in the same class. OR It shows how little you have invested in understanding but just went to the stereotyping. Still interested in your number though.
- bdcravens 8y agoTry typing on a new Macbook Pro. Impossible not to bottom out. Not quite as loud as a MX Blue, but it's probably comparable to an MX Brown. (The Apple Magic Keyboard 2 is a bit better, if you've gotta stay with Apple products)
- jhpriestley 8y agoMaking fun of people's diet, clothing, and hobbies is a pretty low form of humor. It's funny, in years as a software developer I've never heard someone made fun of for wearing a ratty Nintendo t-shirt or a greasy ponytail or whatever, but I've heard mean-spirited remarks about fraternity shirts and people coming to interviews in a suit.
- nephrite 8y agoI don't know about fraternity shirts, but in my experience, all and I really mean ALL candidates who came in a suit proved to be very poor qualified. Almost none could pass technical interview (think "fizzbuzz") and those who managed to get hired were fired in first few months.
- malmsteen 8y agoIn life u just need to "fit", or get picked on. Incidentally this is precisely the "natural law" that james damore broke when he bragged about how natural laws are supposed make genders different in the workplace. He was fired for breaking the most important law "you must fit/adapt or get excluded" while pretending to know better how life and biology works lol. What a retard
- bruthafez 8y agoRealest HN comment of the day. Damore ignored all natural laws (re: conform or get ostracized) to try and make a point about how natural laws will always assert themselves. Ironically he proved his own point that natural laws will always assert themselves by failing to conform and then getting ostracized. The rest of his argument was pretty incoherent tho.
- OJFord 8y agoIf wearing is a suit is a problem, a workplace can't claim to be free of a dress code, or that people can 'wear what they want'.
- deleted 8y ago[deleted]