9 ms·
OkCupid Deletes Post “Your Looks and Your Inbox”
- whataretensors 8y agoIs destroying unpleasant data the new version of book burning?
- dspillett 8y agoIt is a little more 1984 than Fahrenheit 451. That post never existed. We have never been at war Eastasia. [Your] Ignorance is [our] strength.
- deleted 8y ago[deleted]
- gruez 8y ago>Incelgate can someone explain what this is?
- Yaggo 8y agoWoman haters are not getting laid.
- cimmanom 8y agoMore precisely, "women haters are not getting laid and start killing people over it".
- Avamander 8y agoSome new scandal, I guess, that has "gate" slapped to it, even though it has nothing to do with watergate.
- ebbv 8y agoA bunch of truly awful people nobody wants to be around blaming women for their lives instead of taking some personal responsibility.
- Avamander 8y agoAnd a witchhunt of those people is somehow going to help?! When has that ever helped. People like that are to some extent mentally ill and need professional help instead.
- vinceguidry 8y agoThere are always going to be more people that need professional assistance than there are resources to give them said assistance. A normative solution is better than no solution.
- Avamander 8y ago> A normative solution is better than no solution. Please explain how. I think it's literally the worst idea to go poking people already on the edge with their hate and misery.
- vinceguidry 8y agoNo solution means not telling these people at all that their ideas aren't going to get them anywhere and letting them fester in their hatred. I agree that it could be done without the vitriol. Not entirely sure how, but I agree in theory that it's possible. But objectively speaking, the incel viewpoint is more caustic than the common reaction to it. I'm not saying that people who identify as incels deserve it, but they really oughta know better. This is essentially modern heresy in action. Social cohesion is far more important than both your obstinacy and your problems, and if you persist, we will burn your ass at the stake. It's ugly, it's sad, we wish we didn't have to do it, but it reflects the reality of society.
- 8y ago
- speeder 8y agoSeemly after the canadian guy killed people with a van, a witchunt for Involuntary Celibates started... For example: https://twitter.com/ekp/status/991817194987114496 https://twitter.com/ekp/status/991817194987114496
- Dylan16807 8y agoI wouldn't use "witch hunt" for a community that toxic, though wow using -gate is obnoxious.
- J-dawg 8y agoAgh, that's scary. What is she expecting them to do about it? Is she asking them to fire people for being sexually unattractive?
- DanBC 8y agoIncel doesn't mean "someone who is unable to have sex". We need to have some esympathy and empathy for that group, and many places are trying to fix lonliness. This group may benefit from legalisation of sex work. Pao is not talking about this group. Incel means "someone who is a member of a group who have a pathological hatred of women and men who have sex with women, who think that they have a right to demand sex, and that if it's not provided they have a right to take it by force by rape". Pao is talking about this group.
- J-dawg 8y agoIncel was a label that these people gave to themselves, simply meaning "involuntarily celibate". Sure these communities are incredibly toxic, but I don't think it's fair to say that every member of them has all of the beliefs you describe. Most of these people are probably mentally ill, they need compassion and empathy, not to be purged from society. How much more bitter and angry are they going to be if they start to feel like they're also excluded from having a job?
- cimmanom 8y agoI think there's a distinction to be made between "people who are unable to find sexual partners" and "people who self-identify with and participate in communities that spew hatred and encourage violence over the fact that they can't find sexual partners". Sort of like the difference between "white people" and "white supremacists". Except that currently we don't have separate (reasonably brief) terms for the above categories. There's nothing wrong with having employees who are unattractive / can't find sexual partners, and I agree that that would be just as ridiculous a criterion to fire someone over as being caucasian. However, if you have people in your company who are filled with vitriol or considering violence (be it because they hate women who won't sleep with them or because they hate people with a different skin color), that's a problem waiting to happen.
- whalesalad 8y agoThere is a subculture of men who refer to themselves as 'incels' – urban dictionary has a good explanation: https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=incel https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=incel
- Avamander 8y agoWhat's wrong with the article and how is it related to incels?
- crazygringo 8y agoIn case anyone didn't catch it... the 4 photos of "random" dudes that follow the line: > "here are just a few of the many, many guys we here in the office think are totally decent-looking, but that women have rated, in their occult way, as significantly less attractive than so-called “medium”" are the 4 cofounders of OkCupid... ;)
- deleted 8y ago[deleted]
- whalesalad 8y agoI don't think this has anything to do with the incel movement. It was a risky post to begin with. This tweet is making a lot of assumptions. Flagging as no good discussion can come from this post on HN.
- vinceguidry 8y agoYeah, it doesn't really offer any good advice, just offers up questionable conclusions. Personally, I think it's an indictment of online dating in general as encouraging our shallowest selves to go front and center, but we seem to not want to give it up yet. I don't think a service tailored at dating is ever going to be decent at what it's ostensibly doing. Instead what's going to work is someone doing a local community app right.
- himom 8y agoYup. It’s completely shallow and unnatural. The only hope of it working is to shift attractiveness matching to AI, elimimate profile pics seen by humans and start real conversations with people whom you’d likely be attracted to, but don’t get to judge before meeting them. Eliminate the overwhelming messages deluge that people can’t deal with because they wrote / took pics that too many people like. This way, realistic potential couples are persuaded to talk to each other rather than just hounding the few attractive people.
- vinceguidry 8y agoPersonally, I have found that you best make mental connections over digital media, while you best make physical connections in person. So services need to be tailored towards those mental connections. I have found Quora and other discussion platforms to be unbelievably good for finding people that I really wish lived in Atlanta. But a discussion platform almost certainly cannot also be a dating service. I wish someone would give me a few hundred thousand to explore why.
- J-dawg 8y ago> Flagging as no good discussion can come from this ..in your opinion. Why do you feel the need to silence that discussion? I get that HN is a forum with its own rules and as such there is no automatic "right" to free speech, but is this really what flagging is for? Flagging should be used for spam and other content which simply doesn't belong on a tech-related forum. Not for just removing stuff that you personally don't want to discuss. Why don't you just ignore it and upvote the stuff you do want to participate in? EDIT: this comment now appears as 'folded' when I refresh the page. Does this mean that it too has been flagged? That's pretty funny.
- dade_ 8y agoThe stat that they don't show are how many simultaneous sexual partners people have on the site. They could have made it an interactive data exploration site to compare this to attractiveness! Just get off of these awful sites and programs. They profit off the worst traits of humanity and it seems their blog as well. There is nothing scientific or useful that can come from their data or supposed insights. The first step in the right direction was to delete the post.
- himom 8y agoWhy would anyone with integrity and self-respect subject themselves to flawed, unnatural and zero investment world that are dating apps? Can you imagine how lazy, distracted and confused are the users of these apps are in real life? Just stick to the real-world, screen the square root of as many people as you could ever meet in your remaining life-expectancy and pick the best one that comes along next. No Paradox of Choice. No “The One.” No waiting for Godot. Just action.
- Traubenfuchs 8y ago1. Because one is desirable and receives validation on dating apps. 2. Because one is a young digital native nerd with a lack of social skills. Or both. I met 95% of my (sexual) partners online, including my boyfriend.
- dingaling 8y ago> and pick the best one that comes along next The point is that for a set of people there's no-one coming along next. Hence they turn to dating sites to try to make connections. I grew up in the 1980s and 90s. There were no dating apps, just classified 'want to meets' in the newspaper and they were expensive and fruitless. I didn't have a first date until I was 30, it took that long to find someone who was interested. I wouldn't lecture anyone today about anything they can ethically & legally do to avoid that long sentence of loneliness. Even if they don't find a life partner, just getting one or two dates can be a huge boost to esteem.
- modbait 8y agoMet my wife on OKCupid. Admittedly, it was quite a stroke of luck, but you only need one.
- J-dawg 8y agoWhy do posts like this get flagged so often? This relates directly to a tech company, and is about the intersection of tech & societal trends which many people here are interested in. It seems like perfectly valid HN content. Do flagged posts get reviewed by moderators, or does HN allow a minority of users to flag whatever they want out of existence?
- yodon 8y agoThere is unfortunately a small but non-trivial fraction of HN readers who think it’s important to say “I know what other people should not be allowed to read and I will use my privileges to enforce my opinion.” In other contexts those same people would loudly decry others engaging in that practice as evil censors, but they’ve wrapped themselves in a belief that because they are the ones seeking to deny others the right to read something that they are virtuous in their actions.
- gus_massa 8y agoI don't know the details, but the [flagged] mark is added automatically when enough users flag the post, probably it consider the fags to upvotes ratio, but I'm guessing here. With even more flags the story may be killed. The mods usually take a look at the stream of post, specialy the flagged ones, but there are too many posts and in case you find something classified too badly you can email them hn@ycombinator.com , they usually reply soon, but it's manual process so use it wisely. My guess here is that some users flagged it because the incel angle. It looks like a exaggeration, but I'm still not sure. So I'm not hitting any buttons here [no upvote, no flag, no email to the mods]. [My interpretation is that a log time ago OkCupid posted some silly story with some data and dubious analysis as a marketing strategy. Now they have been acquired and they must pose as a serious business, so they delete the old posts that are too polemic or politically incorrect, so ... I'm not sure that there is a connection or not.]
- mindcrash 8y agoI think it has more to do with Zuckergate than Incelgate. In case you didn't know OkCupid and Facebook's data research teams are in strong competition regarding which team is most borderline unethical, as evidenced for example here: https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2014/jul/29/okcupid-experiment-human-beings-dating https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2014/jul/29/okcupid-e....