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The article has these little asides describing a videotaped interaction between a mother and her son... “I have to get it to the part and then pause it,” says

by sethg 16y ago

The article has these little asides describing a videotaped interaction between a mother and her son... “I have to get it to the part and then pause it,” says the boy. “No,” says his mother. “You do that after you do your homework.” Not that I haven’t been guilty of the same misparenting myself, but.... If you expect that you can ever get an eight-year-old to walk away from a video and do his homework by persuading him, you’re setting yourself up for unhappiness.

jimbokun 16y ago
Heck, try to persuade yourself to get up from a video you are engrossed in and do something else. I don't think it's only 8 year olds.
pbhjpbhj 16y ago
>If you expect that you can ever get an eight-year-old to walk away from a video and do his homework by persuading him, you’re setting yourself up for unhappiness. So you let your kids walk all over you?
- epochwolf 16y ago
  No, you turn the TV off and set the kid in front of his homework. (I don't have kids but that's what my parents did to me. It worked well enough.)
  - cmars232 16y ago
    Completely agree. No small wonder parents who feel obligated to negotiate every little thing with their children are so burned out. Kids need nurturing and honest attention, but they'll turn into little controlling tyrants if you let them.
- sethg 16y ago
  What epochwolf said: turn the TV off and, if necessary, pick up the child and take him out of the room. A child with the TV in front of him, being asked to do his homework, is not interested in a reasonable discussion of the house rules; he’s interested in stalling. (Also, if he sees this as a power struggle with Mom, he will not want to surrender.) If his stalling tactic is effective, then you not only extend the period of pointless and frustrating argument in this one instance, but you reinforce, in the kid’s mind, the idea that “turn off the TV” is just background noise that can be ignored with no serious consequences.

by sethg 16y ago

jimbokun 16y ago

Heck, try to persuade yourself to get up from a video you are engrossed in and do something else. I don't think it's only 8 year olds.

pbhjpbhj 16y ago

>If you expect that you can ever get an eight-year-old to walk away from a video and do his homework by persuading him, you’re setting yourself up for unhappiness. So you let your kids walk all over you?

epochwolf 16y ago
No, you turn the TV off and set the kid in front of his homework. (I don't have kids but that's what my parents did to me. It worked well enough.)
- cmars232 16y ago
  Completely agree. No small wonder parents who feel obligated to negotiate every little thing with their children are so burned out. Kids need nurturing and honest attention, but they'll turn into little controlling tyrants if you let them.
sethg 16y ago
What epochwolf said: turn the TV off and, if necessary, pick up the child and take him out of the room. A child with the TV in front of him, being asked to do his homework, is not interested in a reasonable discussion of the house rules; he’s interested in stalling. (Also, if he sees this as a power struggle with Mom, he will not want to surrender.) If his stalling tactic is effective, then you not only extend the period of pointless and frustrating argument in this one instance, but you reinforce, in the kid’s mind, the idea that “turn off the TV” is just background noise that can be ignored with no serious consequences.