4 ms·

I'm 32 and I've had similar thoughts at least since I was 27. A kind of existential crisis tinged with deep boredom and non-clinical depression. I've found 3 t

by mouzogu 10y ago

I'm 32 and I've had similar thoughts at least since I was 27. A kind of existential crisis tinged with deep boredom and non-clinical depression. I've found 3 things that have helped me deal with my depression/boredom: 1. Have things to look forward to: Always, always find things to anticipate and look forward to in the short and long term. Whether it is something small, like a treat at the end of the day or something big like a vacation or short trip away. 2. Side projects & working towards self-employment. Ultimately, the aim is to be the master of my own time. I no longer have to wake up at 8am because I HAVE to but because I (may) WANT to. This for me is so important. To be the master of my time. I'm 32 now, if I'm lucky to live to 70 you can say that I have about 14-20 years of productive time in me. I want to use it for myself. 3. Spirituality. I know that this isn't for everyone. Personally, I find religion and spirituality helps me to cope with every day issues. It gives me strength where I might otherwise just find a gaping void of pointless-ness into which to fall. I hope this helps you. As mentioned by another comment try to avoid alcohol. You won't find the answers you need a the bottom of a bottle.

shivaodin 10y ago
Do you have a family? A family, an SO or kids is the best way to understand life through other perspectives.
- mouzogu 10y ago
  No, but I plan to start one soon. It's true that having children gives you a new perspective on life.
  - selmat 10y ago
    They (children) also change your priorities (...and time, plans, budget...whole life)
  - dpark 10y ago
    Most people don't find meaning in the raising of children. It changes your life a lot, but if you feel like your life is aimless and you're just on autopilot, you'll probably feel the same after having kids. It's rare for a person to define their purpose in terms of their kids and be happy about that. Most people still want to have a self-actualized purpose.
- anysz 10y ago
  Stack Overflow is definitely the best way to understand life through other perspectives
  - eatbitseveryday 10y ago
    SO = Significant Other, i.e., a partner.
    - ak39 10y ago
      It makes more sense calling Stack Overflow "SO" than calling your spouse that.
      - eatbitseveryday 10y ago
        Depends who spends more time with you in your life ;) I'm with my SO more than I read the website, for sure (which is minimal or rarely). Also, the term "significant other" can mean more than spouse (which implies marriage): [boy|girl]friend, life partner, close-friend-kind-of-person, etc.
- dpark 10y ago
  Getting married and/or having kids is a terrible way to try to address existential boredom. A spouse will not give your life purpose. Kids probably won't either, and if it turns out that you are unhappy and resentful after your failed attempt to solve your boredom, you can easily screw up your kids' lives (and screw up your own life, because kids are not a short-term commitment). Have kids because you want them. Not because you think they'll give your life purpose.
  - humanrebar 10y ago
    > Getting married and/or having kids is a terrible way to try to address existential boredom. Starting or growing a family is a terrible way to solve problems. If interaction with kids seems like a good use of time, start by volunteering with mentoring organizations like Big Brother/Big Sister or Boys and Girls Clubs. Or help out with the kids programs at church/temple/synagogue if you're into organized religion. If that pans out well, consider babysitting for foster families. Foster parents do incredible amounts of good for society and get run into the ground in the process. It seems simple, but giving them a night off here and there is a huge help. If that goes well, then maybe consider adopting or starting a family. At any rate, there are a lot of young people out there that could use positive (especially male!) role models.
peatmoss 10y ago
> Spirituality I rediscovered being a member of a dojo. Combines some elements of spirituality / higher purpose together with some pretty awesome exercise endorphins. It's like church, but without the god thing.
- humanrebar 10y ago
  > It's like church, but without the god thing. That's like saying it's like an omelette without eggs or soup without water.
  - deleted 10y ago
    [deleted]
  - chadgeidel 10y ago
    "Going to church" is much more than worship of a god-being. Being part of a community is important. Church helps with that.
    - peatmoss 10y ago
      This is absolutely what I mean--having a group that cuts across a different set of sociodemographic characteristics than I otherwise encounter regularly. The shared struggle of the whole thing also makes it a pretty close-knit group.
  - rch 10y ago
    > omelette without eggs or soup without water Those sound like interesting recipes to me. Water is fine though, as long as it isn't fluoridated.
  - fsloth 10y ago
    There is a higher purpose involved, it's just not a deity. A church is a society wound around a higher purpose.
  - lgieron 10y ago
    You might not be aware of the fact that there ARE godless religions - for example buddism.
albemuth 10y ago
> 3. Spirituality. > I know that this isn't for everyone. Or philosophy, for the non-religious. If you know nothing about it (like myself) I suggest starting here (https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwxNMb28XmpfEr2zNKQfU97eyEs70krSb https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwxNMb28XmpfEr2zNKQfU...) then pick up a book or two.

by mouzogu 10y ago

shivaodin 10y ago

Do you have a family? A family, an SO or kids is the best way to understand life through other perspectives.

mouzogu 10y ago
No, but I plan to start one soon. It's true that having children gives you a new perspective on life.
- selmat 10y ago
  They (children) also change your priorities (...and time, plans, budget...whole life)
- dpark 10y ago
  Most people don't find meaning in the raising of children. It changes your life a lot, but if you feel like your life is aimless and you're just on autopilot, you'll probably feel the same after having kids. It's rare for a person to define their purpose in terms of their kids and be happy about that. Most people still want to have a self-actualized purpose.
anysz 10y ago
Stack Overflow is definitely the best way to understand life through other perspectives
- eatbitseveryday 10y ago
  SO = Significant Other, i.e., a partner.
  - ak39 10y ago
    It makes more sense calling Stack Overflow "SO" than calling your spouse that.
    - eatbitseveryday 10y ago
      Depends who spends more time with you in your life ;) I'm with my SO more than I read the website, for sure (which is minimal or rarely). Also, the term "significant other" can mean more than spouse (which implies marriage): [boy|girl]friend, life partner, close-friend-kind-of-person, etc.
dpark 10y ago
Getting married and/or having kids is a terrible way to try to address existential boredom. A spouse will not give your life purpose. Kids probably won't either, and if it turns out that you are unhappy and resentful after your failed attempt to solve your boredom, you can easily screw up your kids' lives (and screw up your own life, because kids are not a short-term commitment). Have kids because you want them. Not because you think they'll give your life purpose.
- humanrebar 10y ago
  > Getting married and/or having kids is a terrible way to try to address existential boredom. Starting or growing a family is a terrible way to solve problems. If interaction with kids seems like a good use of time, start by volunteering with mentoring organizations like Big Brother/Big Sister or Boys and Girls Clubs. Or help out with the kids programs at church/temple/synagogue if you're into organized religion. If that pans out well, consider babysitting for foster families. Foster parents do incredible amounts of good for society and get run into the ground in the process. It seems simple, but giving them a night off here and there is a huge help. If that goes well, then maybe consider adopting or starting a family. At any rate, there are a lot of young people out there that could use positive (especially male!) role models.

peatmoss 10y ago

> Spirituality I rediscovered being a member of a dojo. Combines some elements of spirituality / higher purpose together with some pretty awesome exercise endorphins. It's like church, but without the god thing.

humanrebar 10y ago
> It's like church, but without the god thing. That's like saying it's like an omelette without eggs or soup without water.
- deleted 10y ago
  [deleted]
- chadgeidel 10y ago
  "Going to church" is much more than worship of a god-being. Being part of a community is important. Church helps with that.
  - peatmoss 10y ago
    This is absolutely what I mean--having a group that cuts across a different set of sociodemographic characteristics than I otherwise encounter regularly. The shared struggle of the whole thing also makes it a pretty close-knit group.
- rch 10y ago
  > omelette without eggs or soup without water Those sound like interesting recipes to me. Water is fine though, as long as it isn't fluoridated.
- fsloth 10y ago
  There is a higher purpose involved, it's just not a deity. A church is a society wound around a higher purpose.
- lgieron 10y ago
  You might not be aware of the fact that there ARE godless religions - for example buddism.

albemuth 10y ago

> 3. Spirituality. > I know that this isn't for everyone. Or philosophy, for the non-religious. If you know nothing about it (like myself) I suggest starting here (https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwxNMb28XmpfEr2zNKQfU97eyEs70krSb https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwxNMb28XmpfEr2zNKQfU...) then pick up a book or two.