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I am a big burly guy with a beard - and I get overwhelmed and cry regularly. Not even from sadness, just from general emotion. For example last night I watched
by donatj 10y ago
I am a big burly guy with a beard - and I get overwhelmed and cry regularly. Not even from sadness, just from general emotion.
For example last night I watched the trailer for Overwatch[1] and got so excited I started tearing up. I don't know why, anything that triggers ANY sort of strong emotion in me brings it on. Always has.
My wife makes fun of me for it. I don't see anything wrong with it.
[1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqnKB22pOC0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqnKB22pOC0
- Disruptive_Dave 10y agoSerious question: what else happens around that time? How long does it take you to "recover" from a crying episode? Are you unable to perform other tasks during an episode? Etc. I'm genuinely curious because I've had some frustrating experiences with crying in the workplace / around work that seemed a bit unfair to me (at the time I was a young'n who still assumed "fairness" was a thing). Someone would cry at work and they'd be coddled, yet if someone else raised their voice and showed "anger" they'd be in trouble. Seemed a little silly to me.
- donatj 10y agoI'm certain it's person by person, but for me it doesn't really interfere and clears up pretty quick. It's just little quick bouts.
- nostrebored 10y agoThere are healthy ways to express your anger. Raising your voice at your coworkers is not one of them, and is out of line. I can't think of a time when I've had to yell uncontrollably. I can think of many times when the only thing I was capable of doing was crying.
- Disruptive_Dave 10y agoWho said anything about raising voices at coworkers. From my perspective (which is one with zero psychology or medical training), these are two expressions of emotions. You just proved my point here. If the same situation makes one person cry and another person stone / red faced with "anger" why is one treated so tremendously different from the other? From my POV, you have two people unable to control their emotions in a work environment.
- reinhardt 10y agoNot all emotions have equal rights. Sadness elicits sympathy, rage elicits fear and hostility.
- adn 10y agoI think I understand what you're saying, but the GP is correct, and did respond to what you said > Someone would cry at work and they'd be coddled, yet if someone else raised their voice and showed "anger" they'd be in trouble.
- erikpukinskis 10y agoAnger is more likely to trigger fear in other people. Anger is also more likely to lead to action, and therefore possibly mistakes. Being sad is just safer for the business. But I agree there should just be a protocol for handling both and neither should be a big deal. Management should want to take time to sort either out.
- michael_h 10y agoI get a little choked up when I see paintings of horses. I have no other connection to horses. It's very quick and generally jumbled with thoughts of "Uhhhhh, what in the world is happening right now?"
- howlingfantods 10y agoOut of curiosity, have you ever checked out the paintings of Xu Beihong? He's famous for painting very expressive horses. https://cn.bing.com/images/search?q=%e5%be%90%e6%82%b2%e9%b8%bf+horses&FORM=HDRSC2 https://cn.bing.com/images/search?q=%e5%be%90%e6%82%b2%e9%b8...
- michael_h 10y agoHaven't seen them before. They're a bit abstract, but after a couple of drinks they'll probably do it.
- kqr 10y agoHorses are absolutely beautiful, loving, intelligent, fragile, kind and elegant creatures, so I won't hold that against you. That said, my soft spot from horses (which I otherwise have little mental connection to) probably comes from growing up around them.
- epalmer 10y agoI have a beard and cry also. I'm a sap for funny, kid videos and things that remind me of my kids. I can tear up over facebook posts, thinking about one of my kids leaving home, running out of wine (okay so I just go get some more, but I could, no I don't drive after I drink wine or anything). I'm lucky my wife does not make fun of me.
- howlingfantods 10y agoI cry too but only if something sad happens to someone else. Whenever something bad happens to myself, I just feel numb and try to block out all emotions. But if I read about some injustice or tragedy somewhere in the world, I get all weepy.
- serg_chernata 10y agoThis happens to me all the time. Mostly with emotional moments in movies or animated films. However, more interestingly with things like Google's commercials. They do very well with blending their technology and emotional connections.
- mrcsparker 10y agoThose Google commercials made me cry too. I also felt manipulated each time they were on.
- howlingfantods 10y agoYou should try watching the Thai life insurance commercials
- cantadmitit 10y agoMy eyes tear up really easily, and it's just strong emotion, even just nostalgia. It's very difficult to control, and the sensation is often rather nice. But my girlfriend is from Asia, where there's a serious taboo against a man crying, so it's a problem. She can't understand that I'm not sad or fearful, I'm just feeling strong emotions, often pleasant emotions. It's a strange thing. I'm so embarrassed about it I had to use a throwaway account.
- nemmons 10y agoCrazy. I thought I was the only one. It happens to me too at odd moments like if I'm describing a movie I recently watched that I enjoyed.
- vinbreau 10y agoI think that's a great trait. Bearded guy here, I get the same thing from certain songs. I can't hear them or sing them without choking up. I attribute it to the musician's bardic gift.
- spudlyo 10y agoAnother bearded guy here: Some Elliott Smith songs make me tear up a bit, but at the same time the sadness also me makes me happy -- I don't quite understand why, perhaps I have a bittersweet tooth. I also cried at the end of Field of Dreams.
- twic 10y agoA further bearded guy here, and you know what, the main thing i'm learning from this thread is that we bearded guys cry a lot at some really unexpected stuff. It's Apollo 13 and non-human primates for me.
- lomnakkus 10y agoSince we all seem to be in a sharing mood... Also a guy -- no beard -- but (and I'm not joking here)... I watched that exact trailer just now and teared up a little. As for movies, I have two examples: Up (pure emotion) and The Fountain -- the scene towards the end where he talks to the high priest and Clint Mansell's music takes over. For me, I think it's generally sort of really EPIC things that do it. Really huge scales also tend to do it, for example some of the star size comparisons, or David Deutsch's talk about relativistic jets[1], or just contemplating the fact that some black holes swallow a solar mass per day. Sometimes it's just "beauty", e.g. I couldn't help tearing up when Carolyn Porco showed the "Saturn Eclipse"[2] picture in her Ted Talk[3]. Some of that, I think, was because of the realization that we humans had actually sent a thing out there to take that picture. (Btw, I think I'm generally considered a bit of a cold fish among my friends/acquaintances, FWIW. Humans are weird.) [1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQliI_WGaGk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQliI_WGaGk [2] https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/ba/Saturn_eclipse.jpg https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/ba/Saturn_e... (WARNING: Image is HUGE!) [3] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5usqdjsr6Vw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5usqdjsr6Vw (I won't link you to the exact time because the video deserves to be seen its entirety. If you really want to skip, skip to 15m15s.)
- thrwawy20160421 10y agoSeconded for "Up". All the sad scenes involving the wife. This movie, and only this movie. Makes me cry every time. I'm a 40 year old man.
- paloaltokid 10y agoI have just met you...and I love you.
- wagglycocks 10y ago"The first ten minutes of Up" is an incredible cliche. Everyone has that reaction to it that's not a robot.
- 10y ago
- barking 10y agoYou'd be referred to as a big girl's blouse round here.
- MicroBerto 10y agoI have found that emotional stoicism elicits are far greater response in nearly all people. Emotional people are unpredictable, and unpredictability is a turn-off for most rational and stable people (who I like to surround myself with). Depending on your goals in life, being "the rock" typically gets you better long-term social results.
- Swizec 10y ago> being "the rock" typically gets you better long-term social results. It's also really fucking exhausting.
- MicroBerto 10y agoI find it the opposite. Now I do get fired up about certain things (I'm not dead inside), but I've found that ever since I stopped getting emotional during things like arguments, they've become far easier and even more enjoyable. Try getting into a "defcon-4" style argument yet don't raise your voice, don't change your tone or tempo, and don't worry about the outcome as much -- just maintain control of your emotions. It's amazing what happens and how the other party responds.
- Swizec 10y agoEh arguments, that's easy mode. The exhausting part is being the rock when there's a crisis. When your spouse is freaking out about running out of money for rent. When rent is being raised and you have to figure out how to raise it less. When kids get injured and need the hospital. Or when your team is freaking out because everything's going to shit and production is down and you're running out of time on features you promised to Big Users/Clients TM. When everyone around you is panicking and freaking the fuck out, but somebody has to fix the situation. That's when being the rock matters. Who even gives a shit about arguments? Arguing is for fun.
- MicroBerto 10y agoYou're missing my point, but simultaneously agreeing with me. Stoicism during an argument is the self-induced test to determine results. It's easily created and pretty repeatable in a scenario that doesn't matter so much. That was just a simple example that you can control. And then, yes -- when it does matter, you know what already gets you best results.
- dboreham 10y agoMilitary jet aircraft with afterburners lit, flying at low altitude do it for me. No idea why. Perhaps something to do with attending air shows at a young age.
- kqr 10y agoOh, don't get me started on this stuff: https://youtu.be/xIoRWIgzvbM https://youtu.be/xIoRWIgzvbM or this: https://youtu.be/aoNSBPhaDjM https://youtu.be/aoNSBPhaDjM . I guess it's something about the combination of engineering marvels and how deadly everything is.
- iamcreasy 10y agoI had similar effect after watching the trailer of The Witcher 3 Wild Hunt. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0i88t0Kacs https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0i88t0Kacs
- hola_hola 10y agoSaw the trailer. It seems to be a blend of the incredibles, batman the animated series, and warcraft. I wanted to like it but it doesn't seem to be very original. And the hair modeling on some of the characters it's really bad. Like plastic wigs. It seems to be aimed at small kids. Thumbs down.
- jpreiland 10y agothe game is top notch though
- Jemmeh 10y agoCool to read someone else is the same way! My eyes have always watered when I laugh, when I'm really happy, or just excited about something. What gets annoying is when I'm even slightly upset or having a disagreement with someone, my eyes want to water. I'm not even that upset, my eyes are just freaking out. I always have to be like, "I'm not that upset or trying to make you feel bad, my eyes are dumb, sorry, let's keep talking."
- mundo 10y agoThis started happening to me the moment my wife got pregnant with our first kid. Before that, even tear-jerker news stories didn't affect me; now, I get choked up over anything (but especially over hopeful science news stories - the Philae lander, possible breakthroughs in solar power, that kind of thing). My wife makes fun of me for it too, but then I make fun of her for lots of stuff, so that's fair.
- frabbit 10y agoDitto. See _A_Clockwork_Orange_
- cwbrandsma 10y agoI cry so little my wife had me tested for Aspergers...and she was right. I tear up about once a year at most. Most of the time when I do start to get overwhelmed my first reaction is "WTF IS THIS?" and beat it down like a $2 mule. It isn't that I'm completely without emotions, but I really do have less than "normal" people. Anyway, nice to hear about the experiences of others.
- chasing 10y agoI don't think I've got Asperger's, but I also have a sort of instinctual reaction to clamp down on any emotion that deviates too far from a standard flavor of okay-ness. Not sure where that comes from. Sometimes jealous of people who seem capable of those big emotional responses. WHEEE! 8-)
- kilroy123 10y agoI don't think I have Aspergers... but same here. I cry maybe once a year. Reading this thread makes me think, I'm some kind of heartless robot.
- peteretep 10y ago> I cry so little my wife had me tested for > Aspergers...and she was right. I tear up about once a > year at most It's important to not conflate crying with feeling strong emotion. I was clinically depressed for a year and cried a sum total of once during that time.
- PhasmaFelis 10y agoSpeaking of Pixar cartoons, I thought the way that Inside Out presented depression as the absence of both joy and sadness was really telling. I don't know if it's always true, but it seems like often depression doesn't even allow you to feel cathartic sadness, only a miserable numbness.
- Pluizer 10y agoSpeaking as someone with Asperger; I think Asperger is not about having less emotions than neurotypical persons but more about the trouble expressing those emotions to others or even oneself.
- mylons 10y agoI did the same thing last night! I fired up the overwatch trailer for my girlfriend and started crying quite a bit. Then I put on the Soldier 76 clip, and cried even more. How much did you cry during the last episode of Game of Thrones? I was gasping for air between the sobs!
- beefman 10y agoThere are known genetic factors for crying easily.[1] My oldest son and I cry easily; my wife and youngest son don't. By "crying" here I mean tearing up in response to both positive and negative emotions, including emotions expressed by others. My oldest son and I are about normal when it comes to outright bawling or crying in response to physical injury. Some public individuals cry easily: definitely John Boehner and possibly Elon Musk. [1] http://blog.23andme.com/health-traits/too-many-teardrops/ http://blog.23andme.com/health-traits/too-many-teardrops/
- Kiro 10y agoGlad I'm not the only one tearing up to the Overwatch cinematics!
- scruple 10y agoAlso a bearded male, a combat veteran, etc... I cry on the regular, and always have. Do you show those emotions around larger audiences? I'm very openly emotional, like you're describing, around my wife and immediate family members but, quite naturally now that I think about it, keep it from bubbling up around friends, etc...
- tremendo 10y ago"Take her to the moon for me" [0] [0] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hv3eI9w9YkM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hv3eI9w9YkM
- sakopov 10y agoI'm also a big, macho looking guy. I think just about anyone who knows me thinks that I'm dead as a rock inside. But I cry quite often. Never in public and always in complete solitude. I never really cried until about 25 when I had to split up with my fiance. I don't know what happened, but it flipped a switch and I've been incredibly emotional ever since. It was strange at first, but I learned to appreciate it. I feel like I can connect with people a little better when they're sharing their pains with me. It also has a tremendous healing effect. While I do have plenty of friends I am naturally a loaner and deal with things privately in my own ways. I found that when I've had enough, simply taking a drive in the car and just letting it rip makes me feel infinitely better. So, cry it out. Seriously :)
- NamTaf 10y agoI never really cried much in my teens or 20s until last year when my partner passed away (I was 29). That seems to have really shaken up how I express emotion and I suspect it's a lasting change that I now cry significantly more, both in frequency and scope of what I react to. I do miss the no-tears-ever part of me sometimes, but I suspect that the deeper emotional growth I've gone through over the past 9 months since she died will ultimately be for the best for me.
- blub 10y agoNever heard of this game before. This trailer is pretty awesome and quite emotional too: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oJ09xdxzIJQ https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oJ09xdxzIJQ