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Crying
- SandersAK 10y agoThis is awesome. I think so much study goes into anger management and trying to understand why we get angry, but it seems that other emotional outburts are often shunned in discussion. As someone who comes from a family of people (read: Chinese and Southern) who house an intense stigma around crying, it's been a struggle for me to better empathize and understand crying for other people. I think the author nailed the use of personal logging here - it's not about extrapolating onto others, it's just another form of self-reflection.
- Smaug123 10y agoFor anyone else who was surprised, like me, that there was so much crying recorded in this article, you might find [a certain Reddit thread][1] interesting. I had been under the impression that basically no-one cried ever, but it turns out that some hormones just seem to make it happen. [1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/4g1pgu/serious_trans_people_of_reddit_what_was_something/ https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/4g1pgu/serious_t...
- fudged71 10y agoThat was incredibly interesting, thanks!
- avar 10y agoSo the author of the article is a male -> female transsexual undergoing hormone treatment?
- Smaug123 10y agoI don't know, but prior probabilities suggest not. Notice, however, that it is not just M2F transsexuals who have "female" hormones in their bodies. Almost everyone has them, and some people (such as females) tend to have more of them than others.
- asymmetric 10y agoI'm intrigued by the "almost". Are there people with 0% female (or male) hormones?
- Smaug123 10y agoI don't know, but all sorts of things can happen, and I didn't want to exclude people who somehow just have one or the other. (This is the kind of matter about which I expect not to be very knowledgeable, so I just moderate my language towards the "I don't know everything, might as well make it so I don't exclude people" end.)
- washadjeffmad 10y agoThere are at least people with hormone insensitivity. An example is a phenotypically female Olympic athlete with AIS[1] (had female sex organs) who was chromosomally male (XY). It caused a bit of a controversy at the time. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Androgen_insensitivity_syndrome https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Androgen_insensitivity_syndrom...
- actuallyalys 10y agoI am actually going through this right now, as I have begun to take female hormones this year. I don't cry as often as the author does (not yet, anyway), but it's increased noticeably.
- ohitsdom 10y agoIncredibly interesting, and waaaay more data than I expected. The fancy d3 weighted tree/forking chart was fascinating. > I tried to categorize cries as they were happening (because I wanted to create a real-time crying dashboard) Sure, who hasn't wanted to create a real-time crying dashboard?
- tobyjsullivan 10y agoIt's called a sankey diagram if that helps. And, yes, they are the coolest.
- ohitsdom 10y agoThat helps a lot, thanks! I've mostly used Highcharts but now am going to have to dive into d3 to play around with some of this...
- martgnz 10y agoIt seems this was made with Google Charts. https://developers.google.com/chart/interactive/docs/gallery/sankey https://developers.google.com/chart/interactive/docs/gallery...
- ohitsdom 10y agoHmm, I checked the source when originally reading it and thought I saw a d3 link but you are correct. Thanks for clarifying.
- dfar1 10y agoThe crying post is good, but also the rest of the website. Amazing amount of data.
- aantix 10y agoI'm really glad someone had the courage to share this data.. Growing up I was always under the impression that it was wrong to cry, and it probably exasperated some of my depressive episodes. Strangely, after becoming a father, I feel like I'm even more sensitive and can cry at the drop of a seemingly innocent comment. I bet I cry almost daily.. But after it occurs, it's refreshing. I feel stronger.
- seanhandley 10y agoLikewise, I'm a lot more sensitive after becoming a dad. I hear it's pretty ordinary. You need to be more sensitive so you can keep up and empathise with your kid.
- jetcata 10y agoMy family made me feel like crying was a bad thing, that it was weak to cry and that there is something wrong with you. Never feel this way, anyone who says or thinks this is really wrong, emotions are what make us human and we should be glad to feel things!
- imaginenore 10y ago> I've always considered myself to be a bit of a crybaby No, that's some ridiculous amount of crying. I wonder if it's severe depression or Pseudobulbar affect or some hormonal disorder. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pseudobulbar_affect https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pseudobulbar_affect
- glibgil 10y agoThe crying is associated with relatable emotions. The fact that crying is so routine for them is probably a little neurotic (in a clinical sense, not in a pejorative sense). The person is probably a good candidate for some Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) or Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). That can be useful to challenge some of the narratives that we tell ourselves and others when we think of things that make us sad. For example, we might think of a breakup and say to ourselves, "I put two years into this relationship and now I've been dumped. Everyone is going to know that Sarah doesn't want to be with me anymore. What's worse is I wasted all this time only to breakup and be further behind in my relationship goals. I miss Sarah. This is awful." Those types of thoughts are natural and can certainly make you cry CBT or REBT teaches you to challenge those assumptions. "This is not awful. This is merely inconvenient. I'd rather be sleeping next to Sarah tonight, but I was single for eight months before I met her and I can certainly sleep alone (even though I'd rather not). I wish Sarah still wanted to spend time with me, but I can't change the fact that she does not. We got along pretty well for much of the time and everyone knows that. People breakup all the time and my friends will understand that we gave it a good try. I would like to meet someone soon so that I am not alone, but I've learned that I can be reasonably happy alone for long periods of time"
- ksenzee 10y agoShe's already in therapy, which accounts for a lot of the crying. And I think finding out your partner is married to someone else would cause a lot of crying in anyone who's otherwise emotionally healthy.
- aantix 10y agoWhat's your baseline? Your own crying frequency? If you were emotionally honest, and genuinely logged every time you were frustrated, would we be playing arm chair data scientist saying "this person has some major anger issues!"
- howlingfantods 10y agoFascinating dataset. I think ending a long term, long distance relationship (and then finding out he was married all along), probabaly skewed this dataset upwards. Last time I cried was watching the most recent episode of Game of Thrones. And then watching YouTube reaction videos of that episode, a little less crying with each video. Hodor...
- glibgil 10y agoI cried at the end of that episode because I hate puns
- lukeschlather 10y agoAt risk of spoilers, I don't think that's a pun. It's just an abbreviation.
- djsumdog 10y agoIf you think about when RR Martin first published Game of Thrones in 1996, you realize that was back story twist he planned two decades ago.
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- donatj 10y agoI am a big burly guy with a beard - and I get overwhelmed and cry regularly. Not even from sadness, just from general emotion. For example last night I watched the trailer for Overwatch[1] and got so excited I started tearing up. I don't know why, anything that triggers ANY sort of strong emotion in me brings it on. Always has. My wife makes fun of me for it. I don't see anything wrong with it. [1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqnKB22pOC0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqnKB22pOC0
- Disruptive_Dave 10y agoSerious question: what else happens around that time? How long does it take you to "recover" from a crying episode? Are you unable to perform other tasks during an episode? Etc. I'm genuinely curious because I've had some frustrating experiences with crying in the workplace / around work that seemed a bit unfair to me (at the time I was a young'n who still assumed "fairness" was a thing). Someone would cry at work and they'd be coddled, yet if someone else raised their voice and showed "anger" they'd be in trouble. Seemed a little silly to me.
- donatj 10y agoI'm certain it's person by person, but for me it doesn't really interfere and clears up pretty quick. It's just little quick bouts.
- nostrebored 10y agoThere are healthy ways to express your anger. Raising your voice at your coworkers is not one of them, and is out of line. I can't think of a time when I've had to yell uncontrollably. I can think of many times when the only thing I was capable of doing was crying.
- Disruptive_Dave 10y agoWho said anything about raising voices at coworkers. From my perspective (which is one with zero psychology or medical training), these are two expressions of emotions. You just proved my point here. If the same situation makes one person cry and another person stone / red faced with "anger" why is one treated so tremendously different from the other? From my POV, you have two people unable to control their emotions in a work environment.
- burnguy123 10y agoIs anywhere near this amount of crying normal? I have never tracked but I would suspect it would be more like 1x every year or two if we remove allergies.
- mjb394 10y agoIt really depends on the person, the culture and family they grew up in, their physiology, etc. For me, one of my primary reactions to anxiety and stress (or especially the feeling of release once a stressor event is over) is crying, so that's at least a couple of times a month. Some people just get overwhelmed with emotion (not necessarily sadness, any type will do) or have found crying to be a useful physical reaction because of the hormones that get released and the often cathartic feeling of being able to express your emotional state, even in private to yourself.
- Kluny 10y agoThe data collection, analysis, and emotional honesty of this post are extremely impressive.
- Xcelerate 10y agoEdit: I have retracted this post; it came across in a way that I did not intend it to. Thank you to those of you who explained the response I received.
- Xcelerate 10y agoWhy the downvotes? Did you all read the entirety of my post? As someone who almost never receives downvotes on HN, this is frustrating. Please provide constructive criticism rather than leaving me in the dark.
- unimpressive 10y agoBecause people who try to diagnose other people with disorders out of the DSM over the Internet after a brief interaction with their life are generally considered to be in a state of arrogance.
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- ksenzee 10y agoI downvoted because this is an armchair diagnosis by a non-professional, based on data that wouldn't be enough for a professional to make a diagnosis.
- MAGZine 10y agoWhile it's bad manner to complain about downvotes, you're probably receiving them because your post comes across as speaking from a place of authority ("you have this condition," without any credentials "I am not a psychologist.") Moreover, why does everything have to be a condition? Maybe this person cries more than others. Ok, so what. If they only cried once a week or something, then they probably wouldn't have been compelled to write a post about it. This person's way of working through life events is by an outpouring of emotion, don't be so quick to label and demonize it because they deal with their emotions differently than others.
- chris_va 10y agoLong distance relationship, infidelity breakup, family illness, and bedbugs all in a year? Yikes, glad they already had a therapist to speak with.
- distances 10y agoI don't think the article mentioned bed bugs.
- gk1 10y agoHaving gone through a bed-bug fiasco (it's long past now, thankfully), I'm surprised that category didn't make up a larger percentage of cries. I don't think I cried during my episode, but it was an incredibly stressful and uncomfortable period.
- modoc 10y agoI almost never cry. Some of my friends joke that I cry once a decade, but honestly that is pretty close to the truth. I'm not ashamed to cry, and I don't try to not cry, or anything like that, I just almost never want to cry...
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- elliotec 10y agoSame. I get called heartless for it sometimes. But I think I'm emotionally stunted overall anyway.
- tbabb 10y agoI had no idea that people cry this much. It's like pulling back a curtain.
- jlarocco 10y agoI also had no idea. The article is just one person's experience, though, and I'm assuming they're an outlier. I don't think most people cry often enough to consider keeping a diary of it, but I really don't know. To counterbalance the article's author, I've cried maybe three times in the last 4 or 5 years, and that covers a pet dying and a break up from a long relationship.
- azinman2 10y agoYa I don't understand it either, but it seems that other commenters are the same. I once went on a date with a guy who told me he sheds a tear daily -- until now I had never heard of anyone doing that.
- distances 10y agoKind of the same for me. More baffling for me, however, is the range of discrete emotions she was able to categorize. If I tried, I would probably end up with buckets "upbeat", "fine", and "down". I found this article very fascinating.
- piyush_soni 10y agoIf we go by the name (Robin), it's a he. :)
- crymer11 10y agoRobin is a name used by both sexes, e.g. Robin Wright and Robin Williams. Additionally, the author's website indicates they belonged to an organization for women.
- piyush_soni 10y agoYeah, I just confirmed and came back here to write it. It's She. At the risk of sounding sexist, that relieves me a bit :)
- morgante 10y agoIt's amazing how much variability there is in how much people cry. Also, the intensity obviously varies a lot: I've never cried for longer than maybe 5 minutes. Personally, I'm tempted to start a similar log but for the exact opposite reason: I cry so little that I don't remember the last time I did, and I would like to.
- greenspot 10y agoDisney movies. Literally every single Disney movie gets me to cry. Usually towards the end, around the climax when the soundtrack let the harps and violins kick in. Not sure if it's me or Disney has some special Crying Department which meticulously orchestrates a crying storyboard.
- morgante 10y ago> Not sure if it's me or Disney has some special Crying Department which meticulously orchestrates a crying storyboard. My money is on a Crying Department. The entire business of Disney is in creating and exploiting emotions.
- arafa 10y agoIn Creativity Inc. they describe specifically going through story beats for maximum emotional impact. Disney movies apparently adopted Pixar's methods, so actually you're not far off with the Crying Department thing.
- programmer1234 10y agoI almost never cry but I view it as a problem with the way I deal with stress, which is usually to get angry or withdraw. Recent research has shown that veterans with PTSD who have a "tough guy" attitude recover at a slower rate than veterans with a more self-compassionate attitude, which includes allowing oneself to feel negative emotions and express them.
- further_tech 10y agoI'm gonna be hated for this, but I do believe her post demonstrates how terrific things could be done with more woman in CS. She has mixed our analytical culture with femininity, creating a truly remarkable piece. I may be wrong, but I don't see a straight white male exposing in this same manner.
- hwhatwhatwhat 10y agoIf I understand you correctly, I can see what you mean about emotional openness being a more feminine trait, and understand your implication that homosexual males may lean more towards that behaviour too (stereotypically, at least) - but I really don't understand what race has to do with this?
- saint_fiasco 10y agoIf mixing our analytical culture with feminity resulted in a surprisingly insightful article that wouldn't have been written otherwise, it's possible that mixing it with gayness will produce some other surprising insight. Obviously we won't know until it happens, just like we didn't know there were insightful things to be found about crying before a woman wrote this article.
- MustardTiger 10y agoThis site is full of circle jerking over diversity virtue signalling. Why would you "be hated" for participating in the dominant fad?
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- MicroBerto 10y agoNotice how many cries are due to relationship-based issues. You are putting yourself at serious emotional risk if you allow your happiness to be driven by another person, regardless of who it is. IMHO, your emotional success should be based upon things you can control, and if it's not, then you need to make more rapid decisions as to who or what is allowed to take part in your life.
- marcusestes 10y agoSo your recipe for, "emotional success" is to not be affected by other people? Got it.
- rarec 10y agoIs it really wrong though? Making your emotional state dependent on others is a terrible thing to do to yourself, because people can be fickle and change. Emotional independence is tremendously helpful for emotional well-being.
- AnimalMuppet 10y ago"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell." - C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves Yeah, you can get hurt. For sure, be wise about who you become emotionally dependent on. But not having your emotions entangled with another's is to miss one of the great joys of being alive.
- ohyesyes 10y ago
- kpwagner 10y agoWell executed analysis. It takes real commitment to follow through and track these results, then actually do something with the data. Better than a lot of TEDx talks I've seen lately.
- novia 10y agoHey, girls cry more (typically) than guys. As noted in the article, different people have different sensitivity levels that their emotions must meet before the waterworks start. Just because you cry less than the author does not mean that her amount of crying is abnormal. Personally, I cry just as much as her if not more.
- Snargorf 10y agoShe wrote, "Retrospection involved re-categorizing things that happened to me and re-evaluating past actions and decisions, which led me to feel ashamed, slighted, or self-pitying (I became a feminist during the time I was logging, and I reacted strongly to injustices that I became aware of)." So becoming a feminist literally made her cry. Meanwhile, at the other end of the spectrum, the happiest demographic in America is conservative married women. Why are progressive politics are such an engine of grief? Why is a belief system that creates a feeling of persecution where none existed before so popular? It's an interesting question to which I have no easy answer.
- an_ko 10y agoBeing emotionally invested in the well-being of others has its costs, especially when looking deeper into things exposes you to injustice you could have ignored before.
- GunboatDiplomat 10y agoThat seems like an argument for minimal emotional involvement in others.
- an_ko 10y agoIt's just a fact, presenting the negative side of such involvement, because that was sufficient for pointing out the flaw in the parent post's reasoning. The positive side is that it gives you a fuller picture and experience of the world. Whether it's better to be a "a fool satisfied or Socrates dissatisfied" is one for the ages though.
- nostrebored 10y agoBecause the world is a fucked up place, and ignoring it doesn't make it any better. Would you rather see an individual that's happy sometimes, sad sometimes, and an autonomous human being, or the human equivalent of the cow from Hitchhiker's Guide that wants to eat itself?
- dsmithatx 10y ago
- auganov 10y agoSince everyone is talking about their crying habits - I have this very annoying tendency to get teary eyed/cry when having intense discussions with some people. Especially if there's any hint of negativity in it. Awkward for obvoius reasons. So I just tend to avoid these.
- _RPM 10y agoAfter staying up for 3 days straight coding with caffeine, I had a cry spell. It was like a religious experience.
- Jean-Philipe 10y agoFor me, crying was mostly related to lack of eating and working out, lack of sleep or from too much work. The triggers were real, relationship problems, work related issues, you name it. But as long as I eat well and work out, I can take on a lot of personal problems without crying.
- NTDF9 10y agoWhat a great study! We engineers and rational-thinking oriented people tend to disregard how our emotions affect us on a daily basis. Makes me wonder... Would I want a emotion tracker (app or hardware) which lets me study ME? Yes Do I want it in the cloud or to be made money from? Not at all. An opening up of emotions opens me up to a lot of abuse.
- jaytaylor 10y agoCan anyone explain how the visualization with the header '? -> ?? -> ???' (a little past the middle on the right hand side) was generated? I'd really like to know how spreadsheet data gets turned into that awesome D3 diagram!
- danielvinson 10y agohttps://developers.google.com/chart/interactive/docs/gallery/sankey#overview https://developers.google.com/chart/interactive/docs/gallery...
- djloche 10y agoPer the author, the '? -> ?? -> ???' is actually a small amount of non-categorized data. (I listened to Robin give a short presentation on this earlier.)
- Zelphyr 10y agoSo many people here admitting they cry with an undertone that they feel various levels of bad for doing it. @donatj even said his wife makes fun of him when he cries. We have got to make this a non-issue. Its so insane to me that in Western culture someone isn't allowed to express a perfectly normal aspect of their physiology. Its like shaming someone for puking. It may not be pleasant but not doing it is way worse. I sincerely believe we should be pushing back and HARD when we're shamed for crying. "We" being anyone because, lets face it, women are shamed for it too.
- brador 10y agoMaybe crying is seen as an intense emotion for rare occasions so when someone seems to be crying every weekday or over trivial things it demeans the powerfulness and impact of crying. Also because of it's reservation for truly impactful events random crying can seem fake or artificial. 'Attention whoring' as the kids like to call it. You cry at a funeral, you cry at getting a parking ticket. If you cry at both you're kinda putting them on the same level eh?
- thedz 10y ago> Maybe crying is seen as an intense emotion for rare occasions so when someone seems to be crying every weekday or over trivial things it demeans the powerfulness and impact of crying. Yes, I think that's the issue. Crying should not just be for rare events or an indication of extreme emotional distress. People cry for all sorts of reasons.
- brador 10y agoThen what do you do for the rare events?
- steve-howard 10y agoWhatever you feel like.
- ctrlalt_g 10y ago
- sharp11 10y agoThis is such a wonderful blending of genres. We techies often can seem (or be?) detached from emotion. The rigor with which analytics were applied here ("real-time crying dashboard"!) is genius. So funny and so true.
- soneca 10y agoMy crying is triggered by positive stories. Most of the times, specifically by solidarity demonstrations. Sports, natural disasters, simple day-to-day actions. Whenever i feel there is real and genuine altruism. I rarely cry by sad or melancholy reasons.
- ghoul2 10y agoThis is _so_ well done! Could you talk about how you kept track of this when you were away from your computer? Any app etc? did you make a record right then? or just a mental note and then trancribed later? I apologize for focusing on the logistics part of it :-)
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- _audakel 10y agoi read this and sent my wife a link. she wanted to know why i was analyzing her crying. i told her i just wanted to run a neuralnet on her crying data..... http://i.imgur.com/NE380tW.png http://i.imgur.com/NE380tW.png
- Zelphyr 10y agoWeirdest save I've ever seen dude. Kudos. :)
- killerbat00 10y agoJust an FYI that there's a phone number in that screencap. I imagine most HN readers wouldn't exploit it, but better safe than sorry. Edit: just realized it's Google voice so probably less of an issue.
- agumonkey 10y agoWeird anecdote. Grief can lead to health damaging anger, when sometimes you need to cry. Pardon the metaphor but it really feels like leaking the pain out instead of keeping it rotting inside your head.
- projektfu 10y agoLooking at the "heat map", it looks like the OP needs to start going to bed on time, like 10pm, on a regular basis. It seems she is staying up late and crying a lot during that time, perhaps because emotional things and overwork are getting her at that time. Put the phone on Do Not Disturb and check out at 10pm.
- gk1 10y agoOr the opposite: She was already feeling those things and could not go to sleep because of them.
- therealdrag0 10y agoI don't cry often. But a common types of cry I have is in narratives when someone achieves something. For example, I cried reading The Devil in the White City when the Ferris wheel started moving for the first time.
- partiallypro 10y agoI cry, maybe 3 times a year, and tear up maybe 10 times a year. Last year was really rough, so it was a bit more, but I have no idea how someone could cry -that- much and still have a livable life.
- jetcata 10y agoThis is super interesting, I've found that as I've aged I cry a lot less than when I was younger. If gender makes any difference, I'm a woman. I found that when I was younger I cried a lot, at all sort of things. Now I find it difficult to cry, and I kind of miss that emotion, because I think it's an important part of what makes us human :(
- louprado 10y agoDuring allergy season my eyes are always on the verge of tearing up. Then even mildly enthusiastic conversations will cause my eyes to fully tear and that makes me feel emotional. It is embarrassing and often leads me to abruptly end conversations. There have been numerous studies where facial expressions can affect emotion. It is a positive feedback loop [1]. The situation I described above isn't a facial expression per se, but does anyone else feels like eye strain or irritants (soldering?), makes them more emotional. [1] http://scienceblogs.com/neurophilosophy/2010/04/16/botox-may-diminish-the-experience-of-emotions/ http://scienceblogs.com/neurophilosophy/2010/04/16/botox-may...
- transpy 10y agoI dunno... I find the notion of crying as a reaction to fictional (or even non-fictional) media... foreign. I find this notion foreign. (Man, just a goatee, almost 33). I do consume fiction, but I just don't 'suspend disbelief', as it is called. Call me a fiction grinch, but it's just the way my brain works. I recently changed jobs and moved to a new city. When, after a long hiring process I was given the job, I cried a little (like 10 seconds), out of joy. Then, once I arrived in the city, it was hard to find a new home but I faced it without victimism: I decided to move, so I had the obligation to face whatever hardships would emerge along the way. But the day I finally found a home and everything started to settle, when I finally had the keys, I sat down on one of the rooms and, beer in hand, cried, but out of relief and joy also. When I was younger I used to cry easily, but as I'm getting older I just don't cry often anymore. Somewhat it has become a reaction reserved for existential highlights, so to speak.
- decisiveness 10y agoThis is fascinating to me. Do you consume fiction purely for analyses of the writing/acting? Of course, either of those things done poorly can quickly make one focus on the fabricated nature of it, but to not have any real capacity to entertain fantasy as reality when there are no obvious negatives or doubts to point out seems to be a rare thing. If you're unable to "suspend disbelief", what is the actual gain from that experience if no engaged entertainment value is received? Does it only come from being a so-called "grinch"?
- transpy 10y agoI definitely prefer non-fiction. I do make an effort to connect with people about current series/movies. But it is an effort, not something spontaneous. I feel bad sometimes that I can come across as too analytical. I'm not! I feel awe and deep emotion looking at documentaries, for example, or at the space station footage of the Earth. That is mind-blowing and very moving. I noticed this the other day talking to my brother. He was excited about a new episode of House of Cards? I think. I watched it, it was cool. The representation of all the forces and intrigues inside American politics. Interesting! But then I tried to small talk, and said regarding the current election (and I am not American, btw): 'You know, I think Hillary is as corrupt as Sanders and Trump!'. He said with a blank face 'Oh sorry, I don't really know about that'. I immediately felt the disconnect between us. I follow American politics mainly through Stephen Colbert and other comedians; I'm not too analytical and dry as to just read serious journals or political books: I like entertainment, but entertainment that contains at least a little bit of information about reality. I just can't spend a weekend watching a fictional series when I could be learning something about the real state of affairs, even superficially. And I just don't want to judge people that like to do that, I even consider it as the normal, balanced thing to do. But I do feel how other people judge me for my preferences of entertainment, but I just can't help it.
- iandanforth 10y agoIf this began happening to me I would consider it a serious medical issue. Crying on a daily basis? That seems debilitating.
- daix 10y agoreally cool data visualization
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- SeanCrawford 10y agoI read somewhere the author of Starship Troopers, Robert Heinlein, wrote that when he realized he couldn't cry he took steps to learn to do so. I am a man still learning. In my self help group for recovery from abuse even some of the women could not cry. We thought this was from bigger people saying, "If you don't stop crying I'll give you something to cry about" and also we thought they were bloody liars, unable to admit to us that our crying upset them and they didn't want to feel (just as they took substances to avoid feeling)
- pmiller2 10y agoI've had a lot of 3's and 4's, and a couple of 5's in the past year. It's been rough. :(
- geedzmo 10y agoGo Cats
- tjbiddle 10y agoEveryone is an emotional being; whether they show it to the world regularly or not. I'm normally a very stoic, "serious", sometimes up-tight and irritable person. I know I've turned off many people from the way I interact. But get me in-front of someone I can truly connect with, and I'm a whole different soul - I laugh, smile, my heart flutters, I'll cuddle up to a partner, the works. It all depends how comfortable the other person makes me feel. I'm very into personality typing and identify as INTJ for Myers Brigg (Which is the smallest subset at ~1-2% of the population). I met a girl the other week that I found out was INTJ as well and we connected instantly on a whole new level - still blows my mind when I talk to her; and we were both able to share that very quickly. But we're both very stoic and have our guards up in public until we click well with someone and can relax.
- nice_byte 10y agoHoly wow, I am genuinely surprised. I would never have imagined that it's possible for grown-up people to cry more than one or two times per year, let alone cry enough times to gather stats about it!
- djhworld 10y agoI haven't cried for years, and I don't wear that as a badge of honour either, it's just never been a thing for me. I've had the 'lump in the throat' moments, sure, but not breached the wall to have the dam burst in quite some time. In fact I think the last time I properly cried was when my dog was euthanised and that was 12 or so years ago. That was the first time I'd seen my Dad completely broken too.
- Jaruzel 10y agoI love this thread. I've been a long time HN lurker, but only fairly recently did I create an account and start contributing. See the honesty and emotion on these comments really makes me feel I'm hanging out with a good bunch of people. It's so refreshing compared to the toxic communities of the other large social sites. I'm a cryer. I cry a lot, I'm also clinically depressed with social anxiety, which makes social interaction difficult, so my emotional are mostly on the surface anyway. Crying for me is the best form of emotional release. I cry at the big ending in films, I cry at the end of amazing books (The Green Mile totally destroyed me, I was in business class on a plane at the time, blubbering my eyes out...). On balance though, I also get very angry often. I guess you can't have one without the other...
- gadders 10y agoI think I have cried twice in ten years. I don't cry if possible, and certainly not in public.
- gadders 10y agoI think I have cried twice in ten years. I don't cry if possible, and certainly not in public.