10 ms·

What fucking programming language should I use?

74 points by publicfig 11y ago

kylehotchkiss 11y ago
javascript
- akerro 11y ago
  For desktop app. You will regret it.
  - tracker1 11y ago
    Electron and nwjs seem pretty solid... VS Code works really well (for example), and can leverage one of the most diverse module systems around.
    - copperx 11y ago
      I feel the urge to cry.
      - tracker1 11y ago
        I'm not saying it's the best option... more that it isn't a bad one, and depending on your needs, can be a good one. If you want to share logic across mobile apps, a web presence and a desktop deployment, leveraging your existing developers and creating a relatively cohesive experience, it isn't a bad thing.
klinskyc 11y ago
Off topic from the article, I don't understand the purpose of using profanity and then censoring it. Writing things like F!@K just seems like a weird middle ground that loses the intensity of cursing and the professionalism of not cursing.
- publicfig 11y ago
  I originally titled the article with the censored version as that was the name on the page. I believe they censor it on the first page as a way around workplace filters, as there's a SFW button at the top. I think once you get into it, the language is uncensored.
- carlisle_ 11y ago
  I read 'intensity' as 'integrity' and I think I much the sentence that way.
- m52go 11y ago
  Especially when "What the fuck are you building?" is present further in the questionnaire.
- massemphasis 11y ago
  FUCK is just a high entropy statement with lots of energy.
- dang 11y ago
  We always unbowdlerize titles. But I don't think "f!@k" is much different from "darn" or (hmm) "dang". People have been doing this to profane words for a long time, probably for as long as profane words have existed. There's a wonderful Andy Rooney bit about not using such words because he doesn't want to burn in heck.
otabdeveloper 11y ago
The "really lazy desktop app" choice is Qt, not Visual Basic. Visual Basic hasn't really existed for decades.
- richardwhiuk 11y ago
  VB.NET is still a thing isn't it?
  - AndyKelley 11y ago
    Yeah but why lock in with Microsoft when you can have a cross platform app at the same abstraction and difficulty level?
    - hnbroseph 11y ago
      depends on whether the additional platforms are trivially ignorable or not.
- copperx 11y ago
  There's nothing lazy about C++ plus Qt. Perhaps you meant C plus GTK+?
- derefr 11y ago
  Coming from a web-dev background, it feels like the "really lazy desktop app" solution of the day is Node-Webkit/Electron. Everything else requires multi-platform testing.
- bubuga 11y ago
  > The "really lazy desktop app" choice is Qt, not Visual Basic. Qt has nothing to do with laziness. It's simply a well thought-out GUI toolkit which looks good and doesn't require tons of boilerplate code to get a hello world app to work. Nowadays, if other GUI toolkits aren't as user-friendly as Qt, someone has dropped the ball.
VeejayRampay 11y ago
I enjoy gratuitous profanity and PLs, well done.
lumberjack 11y ago
I would say that if one does not have experience with an enterprise stack they should really choose to work with one irrespective of whether they are a startup or no. Your startup will probably fail anyway. The experience you get is the only thing that you'll be left with. And if you chose to work with chicken-scheme and what not, good luck putting that on your CV.
- tracker1 11y ago
  Most "enterprise" stacks introduce complexity that isn't ever going to be needed really early on, and in general that slows down initial development, and the road to something that does its' job. Many of them are over-engineered and a bad fit, used badly too often. Of course the alternative is understanding your problem domain and picking appropriate tools and approaches instead of using (insert .Net or Java framework here) for everything.
- derefr 11y ago
  On the contrary, choosing Erlang for your startup seems to make enterprises nearly salivate to hire you.
StevePerkins 11y ago
Maybe I'm getting old. I love these sorts of technology selector flowchart things in general. However, the trope of throwing in a bunch of random "fucks" and getting a ton of upvotes for it feels played out to me.
- hnbroseph 11y ago
  it is a bit tiring. it's like the poor man's half-baked attempt at spicing up their personality (where poor = dull).
- derefr 11y ago
  It's just poorly done. The bits like "I hope you're proud of yourself" and "Just use Ruby - probably with Rails - and get the fuck out of my office." are actually how you write in this style; the rest just seems like a templated "I'll write it like this and then come up with something better" first pass, that never got fixed.
- Tempest1981 11y ago
  Agreed, although it gets more tired when you go through all 20 flows, vs just one.
misthop 11y ago
It would be nice to be able to back up a question. It was pretty funny, but having to start over every time to check out the whole decision tree was a bit tedious.
AndyKelley 11y ago
It got the wrong language for my example, a digital audio workstation with peer to peer collaboration. It said use Go, but Go is garbage collected and that is unacceptable for an app that needs to process real time audio with low latency. Same thing applies to any networked video game.
- d0lph 11y ago
  I believe you can turn off the garbage collector in go.
  - AndyKelley 11y ago
    Uh. Citation needed.
    - bitdivision 11y ago
      You can set the environment variable GOGC=off [1] There doesn't actually seem to be a way to explicitly free memory though so I doubt this is actually used. [1]: https://golang.org/pkg/runtime/ https://golang.org/pkg/runtime/
      - Zancarius 11y ago
        It's only intended for debugging purposes, near as I can tell (and I'm not sure why anyone would want to do it in the first place beyond debugging): https://github.com/golang/go/issues/13761#issuecomment-167721220 https://github.com/golang/go/issues/13761#issuecomment-16772...
    - deleted 11y ago
      [deleted]
    - d0lph 11y ago
      I stand corrected, there doesn't seem to be a way to manually allocate and de-allocate memory. Looks like there is a switch to turn off GC, but it's intended for debugging.
gravypod 11y ago
I always just choose whatever I'm most comfortable with. You don't always need an edgy language to use. Just use what you know.
pbreit 11y ago
I answered in such a way that I was expecting Python or Ruby but got JavaScript. Is that the joke?
stephenitis 11y ago
Curious then realized it was very light in fun content. There is no way to get to cobol for instance
capote 11y ago
It's telling me to use Java and Swift for mobile development because hybrid apps suck. But Xamarin is fine, I don't get it.
hythloday 11y ago
TL;DR (I don't blame you, it's not that funny): Have you already established a language for your project or team? Yes: Keep using that fucking language. Unless you can't accomplish your goals with your current language, you're setting back progress by starting with a new language. No: Are you building a mobile app? Yes: Are you building for Android, iOS, or both? Android: Looks like you're using fucking Java. Hybrid apps suck. iOS: Use fucking Swift. Hybrid apps suck. Both: Time to learn fucking Java and Swift. Hybrid apps suck, so your dumb ass needs to learn both. No: What the fuck are you building? Web app/Networked application: Is it a client-side app? Yes: Looks like you're stuck with fucking JavaScript you poor bastard. No: Are you working for an established enterprise or a startup? Enterprise: Just use fucking Java. No one ever got fired for choosing Java. Startup: Do you give a shit about concurrency? Yes: Do you know why you give a shit about concurrency? Yes: Are you into functional programming? Yes: Do you need to use the Java Virtual Machine for some fucking reason? Yes: Use fucking Clojure No: Use fucking Rust or Elixir. I've got you this far, choose whichever one doesn't look like shit to you. No: Use fucking Go. Not really: I didn't think so you asshole. Just use Ruby - probably with Rails - and get the fuck out of my office. No: Do you need static types? Yes: Use fucking Dart No: Do you want only one language in your codebase? Yes: You're stuck with fucking JavaScript, but you already knew that I don't care: Are you already familiar with at least one programming language? Yes: Are you nostalgic for the web of the early 2000s? Yes: You should probably stick with fucking PHP No: Use fucking Ruby No: Use fucking Python. It's easy to learn and very powerful. Desktop app: How fucking lazy are you? Really lazy: Damn it. Just use fucking Visual Basic. I hope you're proud of yourself. Sort of lazy: Just use fucking Java. I'll sleep when I die: Do it properly in some fucking dialect of C
- ocfx 11y ago
  Do people use Dart for server side apps? Why would one be stuck with JS for server side app if they are a startup?
Dowwie 11y ago
..must.. not .. give in.. to .. my.. negativity
coderKen 11y ago
Found this really funny, thanks :)
hockeybias 11y ago
One is not stuck with JavaScript for 'client side' web apps per se. I prefer TypeScript (which is transpiled into JavaScript).
Mahn 11y ago
No quiz needed, the actual answer should be just "Whatever language you know and can get shit done with".
jokoon 11y ago
If I could use cython everywhere I'd probably use cython.
fucking_tragedy 11y ago
Kids these days. You could replace ALL of this dynamic content with a static page that says: Use the language that's right for the job. You don't even need Javascript!
clishem 11y ago
Request: what fucking text editor/IDE should I use?

74 points by publicfig 11y ago

kylehotchkiss 11y ago

javascript

akerro 11y ago
For desktop app. You will regret it.
- tracker1 11y ago
  Electron and nwjs seem pretty solid... VS Code works really well (for example), and can leverage one of the most diverse module systems around.
  - copperx 11y ago
    I feel the urge to cry.
    - tracker1 11y ago
      I'm not saying it's the best option... more that it isn't a bad one, and depending on your needs, can be a good one. If you want to share logic across mobile apps, a web presence and a desktop deployment, leveraging your existing developers and creating a relatively cohesive experience, it isn't a bad thing.

klinskyc 11y ago

Off topic from the article, I don't understand the purpose of using profanity and then censoring it. Writing things like F!@K just seems like a weird middle ground that loses the intensity of cursing and the professionalism of not cursing.

publicfig 11y ago
I originally titled the article with the censored version as that was the name on the page. I believe they censor it on the first page as a way around workplace filters, as there's a SFW button at the top. I think once you get into it, the language is uncensored.
carlisle_ 11y ago
I read 'intensity' as 'integrity' and I think I much the sentence that way.
m52go 11y ago
Especially when "What the fuck are you building?" is present further in the questionnaire.
massemphasis 11y ago
FUCK is just a high entropy statement with lots of energy.
dang 11y ago
We always unbowdlerize titles. But I don't think "f!@k" is much different from "darn" or (hmm) "dang". People have been doing this to profane words for a long time, probably for as long as profane words have existed. There's a wonderful Andy Rooney bit about not using such words because he doesn't want to burn in heck.

otabdeveloper 11y ago

The "really lazy desktop app" choice is Qt, not Visual Basic. Visual Basic hasn't really existed for decades.

richardwhiuk 11y ago
VB.NET is still a thing isn't it?
- AndyKelley 11y ago
  Yeah but why lock in with Microsoft when you can have a cross platform app at the same abstraction and difficulty level?
  - hnbroseph 11y ago
    depends on whether the additional platforms are trivially ignorable or not.
copperx 11y ago
There's nothing lazy about C++ plus Qt. Perhaps you meant C plus GTK+?
derefr 11y ago
Coming from a web-dev background, it feels like the "really lazy desktop app" solution of the day is Node-Webkit/Electron. Everything else requires multi-platform testing.
bubuga 11y ago
> The "really lazy desktop app" choice is Qt, not Visual Basic. Qt has nothing to do with laziness. It's simply a well thought-out GUI toolkit which looks good and doesn't require tons of boilerplate code to get a hello world app to work. Nowadays, if other GUI toolkits aren't as user-friendly as Qt, someone has dropped the ball.

VeejayRampay 11y ago

I enjoy gratuitous profanity and PLs, well done.

lumberjack 11y ago

I would say that if one does not have experience with an enterprise stack they should really choose to work with one irrespective of whether they are a startup or no. Your startup will probably fail anyway. The experience you get is the only thing that you'll be left with. And if you chose to work with chicken-scheme and what not, good luck putting that on your CV.

tracker1 11y ago
Most "enterprise" stacks introduce complexity that isn't ever going to be needed really early on, and in general that slows down initial development, and the road to something that does its' job. Many of them are over-engineered and a bad fit, used badly too often. Of course the alternative is understanding your problem domain and picking appropriate tools and approaches instead of using (insert .Net or Java framework here) for everything.
derefr 11y ago
On the contrary, choosing Erlang for your startup seems to make enterprises nearly salivate to hire you.

StevePerkins 11y ago

Maybe I'm getting old. I love these sorts of technology selector flowchart things in general. However, the trope of throwing in a bunch of random "fucks" and getting a ton of upvotes for it feels played out to me.

hnbroseph 11y ago
it is a bit tiring. it's like the poor man's half-baked attempt at spicing up their personality (where poor = dull).
derefr 11y ago
It's just poorly done. The bits like "I hope you're proud of yourself" and "Just use Ruby - probably with Rails - and get the fuck out of my office." are actually how you write in this style; the rest just seems like a templated "I'll write it like this and then come up with something better" first pass, that never got fixed.
Tempest1981 11y ago
Agreed, although it gets more tired when you go through all 20 flows, vs just one.

misthop 11y ago

It would be nice to be able to back up a question. It was pretty funny, but having to start over every time to check out the whole decision tree was a bit tedious.

AndyKelley 11y ago

It got the wrong language for my example, a digital audio workstation with peer to peer collaboration. It said use Go, but Go is garbage collected and that is unacceptable for an app that needs to process real time audio with low latency. Same thing applies to any networked video game.

d0lph 11y ago
I believe you can turn off the garbage collector in go.
- AndyKelley 11y ago
  Uh. Citation needed.
  - bitdivision 11y ago
    You can set the environment variable GOGC=off [1] There doesn't actually seem to be a way to explicitly free memory though so I doubt this is actually used. [1]: https://golang.org/pkg/runtime/ https://golang.org/pkg/runtime/
    - Zancarius 11y ago
      It's only intended for debugging purposes, near as I can tell (and I'm not sure why anyone would want to do it in the first place beyond debugging): https://github.com/golang/go/issues/13761#issuecomment-167721220 https://github.com/golang/go/issues/13761#issuecomment-16772...
  - deleted 11y ago
    [deleted]
  - d0lph 11y ago
    I stand corrected, there doesn't seem to be a way to manually allocate and de-allocate memory. Looks like there is a switch to turn off GC, but it's intended for debugging.

gravypod 11y ago

I always just choose whatever I'm most comfortable with. You don't always need an edgy language to use. Just use what you know.

pbreit 11y ago

I answered in such a way that I was expecting Python or Ruby but got JavaScript. Is that the joke?

stephenitis 11y ago

Curious then realized it was very light in fun content. There is no way to get to cobol for instance

capote 11y ago

It's telling me to use Java and Swift for mobile development because hybrid apps suck. But Xamarin is fine, I don't get it.

hythloday 11y ago

TL;DR (I don't blame you, it's not that funny): Have you already established a language for your project or team? Yes: Keep using that fucking language. Unless you can't accomplish your goals with your current language, you're setting back progress by starting with a new language. No: Are you building a mobile app? Yes: Are you building for Android, iOS, or both? Android: Looks like you're using fucking Java. Hybrid apps suck. iOS: Use fucking Swift. Hybrid apps suck. Both: Time to learn fucking Java and Swift. Hybrid apps suck, so your dumb ass needs to learn both. No: What the fuck are you building? Web app/Networked application: Is it a client-side app? Yes: Looks like you're stuck with fucking JavaScript you poor bastard. No: Are you working for an established enterprise or a startup? Enterprise: Just use fucking Java. No one ever got fired for choosing Java. Startup: Do you give a shit about concurrency? Yes: Do you know why you give a shit about concurrency? Yes: Are you into functional programming? Yes: Do you need to use the Java Virtual Machine for some fucking reason? Yes: Use fucking Clojure No: Use fucking Rust or Elixir. I've got you this far, choose whichever one doesn't look like shit to you. No: Use fucking Go. Not really: I didn't think so you asshole. Just use Ruby - probably with Rails - and get the fuck out of my office. No: Do you need static types? Yes: Use fucking Dart No: Do you want only one language in your codebase? Yes: You're stuck with fucking JavaScript, but you already knew that I don't care: Are you already familiar with at least one programming language? Yes: Are you nostalgic for the web of the early 2000s? Yes: You should probably stick with fucking PHP No: Use fucking Ruby No: Use fucking Python. It's easy to learn and very powerful. Desktop app: How fucking lazy are you? Really lazy: Damn it. Just use fucking Visual Basic. I hope you're proud of yourself. Sort of lazy: Just use fucking Java. I'll sleep when I die: Do it properly in some fucking dialect of C

ocfx 11y ago
Do people use Dart for server side apps? Why would one be stuck with JS for server side app if they are a startup?

Dowwie 11y ago

..must.. not .. give in.. to .. my.. negativity

coderKen 11y ago

Found this really funny, thanks :)

hockeybias 11y ago

One is not stuck with JavaScript for 'client side' web apps per se. I prefer TypeScript (which is transpiled into JavaScript).

Mahn 11y ago

No quiz needed, the actual answer should be just "Whatever language you know and can get shit done with".

jokoon 11y ago

If I could use cython everywhere I'd probably use cython.

fucking_tragedy 11y ago

Kids these days. You could replace ALL of this dynamic content with a static page that says: Use the language that's right for the job. You don't even need Javascript!

clishem 11y ago

Request: what fucking text editor/IDE should I use?