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disallusioned42
searching PlanetScale…
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disallusioned42
9y ago
I completely agree with you. I used to be in a very similar situation. I made about the same amount of money (quite a few years ago when it would have been worth a good bit more than today). I had a very similar experience. I lived payc
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disallusioned42
12y ago
People are more important than promises. The only reason we value promises is because they make life in general better for people. I've personally experienced and seen multiple others in the situation where ending the marriage really
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disallusioned42
12y ago
My comment is intended to be taken broadly on average. Based on what you say here, I would agree with you that staying married might have been a better choice in your specific situation.
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disallusioned42
12y ago
I'm assuming that most people are more interested in happy marriages than stable ones (at least before they've made the commitment). Now the marriage traditionalists might not. (This seems to be supported by at least one or two
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disallusioned42
12y ago
The article's title is "What makes for a stable marriage?". I think most reasonable people would agree that lack of divorce does not make "a stable marriage", so yes, the article is missing the point as declared by
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disallusioned42
12y ago
Yes, I agree that commitment has value. But the standard view promulgated my many religions (and expressed in some of the comments here) that marriage should be almost non-negotiably for life takes this WAY too far. I don't know wher
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disallusioned42
12y ago
Yeah, that's definitely a common reason. But I actually feel that it's one of the worst ones, and that kids would be much better off if the parents calmly explaining their decision to the kids in a positive way, thereby sparing t
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disallusioned42
12y ago
For the record, I did that. And from the inside it appeared to work. For years I thought I was happy and had a fantastic marriage. But it still didn't prevent us from ultimately coming to the conclusion that staying married was not
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disallusioned42
12y ago
> Everyone who gets married knows that the possibility of divorce exists and roughly what divorce proceedings entail. On the contrary, I had absolutely no idea how difficult divorce proceedings were when I got married. Maybe I was just
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disallusioned42
12y ago
This is a fascinating topic to me. I read it with great interest, and I might even go and do a bunch of my own analysis of the data. But I can't help but think that in a way the whole thing deeply misses the point. My skepticism sta