actfrench

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by actfrench 4y ago
I talked to a couple friends. Most are women. Many laughed at me posting this on a forum dominated by men in their twenties. As not the best place to get advice on this issue. I, however, have found it interesting. I will argue with you tho
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by actfrench 4y ago
I believe it touches on an important political issue. I feel that this country is very very divided. It's important we discuss these matters in our own community and not just yell and point fingers at the other side. This was botherin
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by actfrench 4y ago
When I first read your comments, I felt almost sure that you were someone I already knew, one of my mentors. But then you mentioned you were younger than me, so that got me curious about who you are:) You're very insightful, much wiser
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by actfrench 4y ago
I can't really tell you this because I fear it will make me look extremely judgmental. I think that there are many men in this thread who have felt a lot of pain being rejected by woman and take my comments personally. However, I will
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by actfrench 4y ago
I liked the fact that they were outliers. Attractive men who didn't know that they were attractive. And appreciated and saw my intelligence. And socially awkward, so I felt I had something to bring to the relationship and that I wou
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by actfrench 4y ago
Great idea! I'm going to try this! I'll let you know how it goes:)
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by actfrench 4y ago
I really appreciate the honest feedback everyone has given on this post. Some of it was hard to hear, but all of it enlightening. And I appreciate the generosity of the community in the time they took to engage in this issue. I do want to a
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by actfrench 4y ago
When I posted this, I was mostly interested in hearing what other people tried that had worked. I got some of that - and then a LOT of pop psychology and pop gynecology. I didn't want discouragement, because every single piece of disco
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by actfrench 4y ago
I appreciate you thinking outside the box. Usually I think of being attracted to a married man as being attracted to someone unavailable. I would be wary about doing this as I wouldn't want to hurt another woman. However, I think th
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by actfrench 4y ago
Thanks so much Amanda. I was starting to feel really discouraged especially after reading most of the comments on this post. But yours gave me hope. And it's nice to hear from someone who seems to understand my POV a little better th
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by actfrench 4y ago
Thank you again for sharing these questions about me about wearing two hats in the family and the parent/teacher balance. I thought about what you said quite a bit and wrote a blog about why I feel that parents are the best teachers fo
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by actfrench 4y ago
Hi Judah, I wrote a blog about parents being teachers, largely inspired by your comment. I hope that it's helpful to you. https://www.modulo.app/all-resources/parentsarethebestteache...
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by actfrench 4y ago
Thanks for the feedback. I’m allergic to cats, but I know they can make good companions to women and men. The main alternative I’m considering is an intentional community, which I’ve found can be really fulfilling and more sustainable ecolo
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by actfrench 4y ago
Funny you should say that. Both men and women offered good advice and words of encouragement, but somehow I can only focus on the negative. This is the first time I’ve been called a narcissist, but I’ll certainly ask my therapist and friend
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by actfrench 4y ago
“ I understand why you wanted the focus to be more generic.” Actually I wanted the focus to be more specific- on how individuals had solved this problem for themselves, rather than on giving me generic advice.
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by actfrench 4y ago
This is a really good question and one people asked me over and over. The reason I didn’t go into it more is because when I wrote this post, I was more curious about discovering strategies or hacks others had personally used to find their p
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by actfrench 4y ago
I think that it’s perfectly fine to be up front that you want children to a woman, even the first date - or filtering for woman who also want children. What is not ok is inferring that they couldn’t have children because of their age or ask
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by actfrench 4y ago
If it’s helpful, we built a site during the pandemic where we sourced ideas from parents on how to keep kids engaged while working from home. It was #2 on Product Hunt. Enrichmentactivities.org My favorite activity is quality time outdoors
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by actfrench 4y ago
Thank you so much. I really appreciate the time and energy people have spent being engaged with this and their genuine desire to help. In terms of action items : I will read the book How To Win Friends, and I’m also going to focus on develo
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by actfrench 4y ago
I will! Thank you!
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by actfrench 4y ago
Yes, lots of insight and personal growth - improved self-confidence, greater happiness, overcoming clinical depression and being happy, clarity about what I wanted, overcoming fear of intimacy, my first big relationship, finding more abilit
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by actfrench 4y ago
Thank you. I really appreciate that.
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by actfrench 4y ago
I've already shared a lot of personal information about myself and I'm not obligated to answer every single question people ask me.
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by actfrench 4y ago
Thank you. I was starting to feel pretty discouraged reading some of these comments, so I appreciate you saying kind things.
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by actfrench 4y ago
Are you suggesting I go on unemployment while I pursue dating? :)
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by actfrench 4y ago
It's a good thought and I've actually spent quite a bit of time practicing in zen communities, participating in sessins and even was a resident at a zen temple for six months. I find Buddhists actually often lead a pretty lonely l
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by actfrench 4y ago
That makes a lot of sense. First, it follows the theory of just being friends without the pressure of something long-term. Having time to get to know someone. Also, the number of choices does make things harder.
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by actfrench 4y ago
If putting on a wedding ring attracts guys who want to get married, I'd be pretty surprised. Or kind of curious about why a guy who wants to get married would be going after a married woman! On the other hand, if it leads to friendship
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by actfrench 4y ago
I think being honest with yourself - and others by extension is the key. Someone else won't MAKE you happy. And no one really knows they want to marry and have kids with someone they just met on a first date. It's so hypothetical.
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by actfrench 4y ago
So this is interesting..."stop looking and it'll find you." is advice I've heard from so many people, dear friends, spiritual teachers I know and respect. And yet, I find it virtually impossible to willfully cause myself

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