NovaJehovah

7 ms·

1.
by NovaJehovah 6y ago
That’s not what an ad hominem is. An ad hominem means attacking the person making the argument instead of addressing the substance of the argument. If the argument involves issues that might reflect on a person’s character, it is not an ad
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by NovaJehovah 6y ago
I don’t think those statements apply to e.g. everyone who uses sleep training, and I never said they did. But I know of parents who all those statements would apply to. It’s currently quite socially acceptable to prioritize your own ego, am
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by NovaJehovah 6y ago
Your argument seems to be that questioning the morality of anything an otherwise well-meaning person does and might be sensitive about is “shaming” and “insulting” and an attempt to “control” the person. That strikes me as very opposed to t
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by NovaJehovah 6y ago
I totally agree that there are questionable studies on both sides. That said, I’m not aware of any studies supporting sleep training that don’t have glaring issues. I also agree about La Leche League being a biased source. I only posted t
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by NovaJehovah 6y ago
If people feel shame, it’s probably because they have some ambiguous feelings on the matter. No one can force someone else to feel shame, especially not through an internet comment. People like you are trying to shame me for the posts I m
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by NovaJehovah 6y ago
To be clear, I’m not asking anyone to accept my “authority”, which as you rightly point out, is nonexistent as a random anonymous person on the internet. I’m not claiming to be an expert on child psychology, but I do have some knowledge of
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by NovaJehovah 6y ago
Your point seems to be that parenting is hard so we can never publicly criticize any common parenting practices because it might hurt some parents' feeling. I disagree. If I'm doing something harmful to my child, I want to know ab
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by NovaJehovah 6y ago
It's always fun to be criticized for not citing research by people who don't cite anything themselves. You're the one advocating for an approach that is unnatural, brand new in human (and primate) history, and that causes bot
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by NovaJehovah 6y ago
The major studies that have been done are fairly easy to find with some google investigation. I looked at them all over a year ago and formed my conclusions. I unfortunately didn't keep around a list of links to post in debates on inte
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by NovaJehovah 6y ago
You seem to think only the process of sleep training is bad, but the result is good, so you are focused on one process compared to another. But as bad as the process is, I think the result is much worse--the resignation and acceptance and y
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by NovaJehovah 6y ago
> I am telling you that the two are not equivalent Well, that's where I disagree. I think they are functionally equivalent. > I address the "ignoring" part in my post You address it by claiming that sleep training does
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by NovaJehovah 6y ago
I certainly have more respect for someone who does sleep training because they think it's best for the child, rather than for themselves. Of course, everyone will say that's why they're doing it, but you seem sincere. I sti
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by NovaJehovah 6y ago
In my experience, babies will get enough sleep one way or another, with or without "sleep training", though it may not be on a consistent or convenient schedule. Parents can easily get enough sleep as well. It's called "
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by NovaJehovah 6y ago
A 'euphemism', according to Merriam-Webster, is "the substitution of an agreeable or inoffensive expression for one that may offend or suggest something unpleasant." "Sleep training", in all its forms, means ig
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by NovaJehovah 6y ago
Sorry. In retrospect, I shouldn't have engaged. Too late to delete now...
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by NovaJehovah 6y ago
Feel free to change every "you should" to "one should" in your head. I understand that this is a sensitive subject, but there are people reading this thread who are about to become parents, and they need to know the trut
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by NovaJehovah 6y ago
I just think that if it is hard, it's up to the parents to deal with, one way or another. They should either suck it up and slog through or change something in their lives so they can handle things better and it's not so hard an
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by NovaJehovah 6y ago
I didn't mean to shame the OP, though I can see how it might have come across that way. What I take issue with is the implication of relativism. That as long as you love your kids, it's fine if you just do whatever is convenient o
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by NovaJehovah 6y ago
In my experience, "sleep training" is just a more palatable euphemism for "cry it out". My view is that however you slice it, you are conditioning the baby that no one will respond to its distress. I'm glad you feel
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by NovaJehovah 6y ago
Who said it has to be a grueling slog? I said do your best, not wear a crown of thorns. I don't think it necessarily has to be hard, but people often make it harder than it needs to be because they're unwilling to make personal sa
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by NovaJehovah 6y ago
Most of it is, but not all of it. My own conclusion (which is not the one I wanted to reach, believe me) was that when you throw out all the bad research, the evidence, while not conclusive, does clearly point more in one direction than t
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by NovaJehovah 6y ago
I most often see that kind of thing from parents who are trying to compensate for failing to be present in more fundamental ways.
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by NovaJehovah 6y ago
"Helicopter parenting" and "smothering" are not the only alternatives to self-serving, self-absorbed neglect. Throwing your hands up because something is hard and there are no obvious answers is not a recipe for doing a
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by NovaJehovah 6y ago
It's true. Yet another hard thing about being a parent is that there is a lot of crappy "research" and advice to wade through (including most of the research claiming to support your view, btw). But there's some solid st
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by NovaJehovah 6y ago
> the "wellbeing of your child" is not really a question Mental health, substance abuse, and suicide statistics, including among the middle and upper classes, would seem to strongly indicate otherwise. > It's possible y
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by NovaJehovah 6y ago
"And some of claims that a baby crying is dumping enough cortisol into their bodies it will permanently damage their brains is NOT supported by science." This is misleading. You're correct that there is not conclusive scienti
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by NovaJehovah 6y ago
I'm not trying to say there's one right way to do things. But there are a lot of plainly wrong ways. If your parenting philosophy is not based on any research or learning about what's best for your child, but instead on what&
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by NovaJehovah 6y ago
I'll probably get downvoted, but I strongly disagree with this mindset. Raising kids is not a fun hobby or a side project that will fit into a neat little drawer in your life. You have an obligation to do the best that you can. Yeah, i
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by NovaJehovah 6y ago
Yes, just like a lot of people die in car accidents every year. People have always been willing to take some risk for the sake of freedom and a better life. The lie here is that it's anything other an extremely minor risk for the large
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by NovaJehovah 6y ago
It's not surprising that when a disease almost kills you, it (or the medical interventions that saved you) might leave your body in bad shape. But this is being spun to imply that it's a serious threat to people who are otherwise

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