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It actually didn't start out as a site for people looking for sex. It was started by a guy (Andrew Conru) who was looking for people to go fishing with, he lame

It actually didn't start out as a site for people looking for sex. It was started by a guy (Andrew Conru) who was looking for people to go fishing with, he lamented how hard it is for adults to find friends. Soon after he started the site, people started posting sex pictures, and it pretty quickly became the focus of the site.

IgorPartola 11y ago
That is both sad and very interesting. I have a similar problem with finding people to go running with me around where I live. Meetup groups around here are spread over a 50 mile radius or so, so that's no help. Perhaps I can try the opposite approach and post "hey, looking for a running buddy" on Match.com, OkCupid, AFF, etc.
- deleted 11y ago
  [deleted]
- DanBC 11y ago
  There is a niche in the market. Some people have tried to fill that niche, and they've posted their sites to HN. The main problems seem to be: 1) The sites only work once you have enough users to make them work, but you can't get more users until the site works. 2) People use them for sex, which is off-putting to large numbers of users. OKC should probably set up some kind of meet-friends-in-groups thing.
  - IgorPartola 11y ago
    I wonder if something like this can be piggy backed off Facebook would work. You kill many birds with that stone: you can use the degrees of separation to verify people ("Oh, that's Joe's friend"), you already have an audience, and people are less likely to flood it with casual sex proposals.
    - phkahler 11y ago
      Facebook would be great but they're so full of garbage that few meaningful messages get through. I once sent out a query for people interested in a software project and tagged every friend I had who knows something about code (30-40). It didn't even show up in all their feeds. But hey, share a cat video hosted on a big commercial site and everyone gets that...
      - IgorPartola 11y ago
        That's why with FB it's better to private message. When I see myself tagged in a post with 30 other people I can safely ignore it. It's usually someone trying to send out a social message. If someone messages me directly, I know it's important enough and take the time to respond. YMMV.
  - dm2 11y ago
    Meetup.com seems to do this successfully, is that the same type of site that you are referring to? I've considered going to a computer / technology / entrepreneurship club, but haven't yet. They also have local groups for dog owners, walking/fitness/specialty (ballet, dance), FPV drone flyers, sports groups, and almost anything else I could think of they had a group already started for it in my city. Some have memberships fees (completely optional when setting up a new group, afaik) and some have more strict requirements when joining (a potential problem but I haven't heard of it being abused).
    - giaour 11y ago
      Meetup seems to be successful because it only handles scheduled, group activities. If your website lets people privately connect with others who live in the same city, some of your user base will start using it to find sex.
      - dm2 11y ago
        > "If your website lets people privately connect with others who live in the same city, some of your user base will start using it to find sex." This seems like something that would be in a David Letterman "Top 10 list of things to consider for your new website".
- Ntrails 11y ago
  OKC at least has a "Looking for friends/Activity partners" option, whether it ever works is questionable. maybe people will message you, if not what have you lost? 10 mins to fill in a profile!
  - ryan-c 11y ago
    OkCupid needs a lot more than 10 minutes to fill out a profile. Spending a couple hours answering questions is generally recommended for their matching algorithms to work well.
- zimpenfish 11y ago
  http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/relationships/11599989/The-matchmaking-app-for-people-who-want-to-make-friends-not-love.html http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/relationships/11599989/The-ma... Althought it sounds a bit sparse at the moment.
  - gadders 11y ago
    Bonus points for the Inbetweeners gifs.
- will_work4tears 11y ago
  I actually went to school to learn to build a site similar to this (2003, not sure how many tutorials there were then, but I didn't know of them anyway). Though my inspiration came from loving to camp and canoe/white water raft and no friends of mine liked that outdoorsy stuff. I also didn't realize this site was already out there, but if it was dating/sex related by that time, I wouldn't have known it could be used for that. FWIW, there's another site I think similary created for meeting people nearby as friends (Meetme.com) that has also turned into a sex/hookup app.
- gadders 11y ago
  Find a running club?
- Scoundreller 11y ago
  A straight female friend that had just moved into a new city directly messaged other women that she thought would make good friends on OKC. Her response rate was about 40%. I cried a little.
  - spacehome 11y ago
    I don't understand your comment. Are you crying because 40% is high or low?
    - ryan-c 11y ago
      He's crying because his response rate trying to contact women to date is probably way lower than that.
      - IgorPartola 11y ago
        I have a somewhat unique perspective on this subject, and one of the insights I have gleamed is that gay and lesbian dating sites generally have much higher success rates. The reason is that perceived risk is much lower. Generally, when a man and a woman go out on a semi-blind date, the woman has a lot more to be afraid of. The guy can turn out to be a "creep" for example. Or if she decides at some point to have sex with him, she might get pregnant with little commitment from him. She has a lot to lose from a bad date than he does. On the other hand, two guys or two girls going out on a date is not as big a deal. The perception is that it's safer. There is of course a lot to worry about, but the playing field is usually a lot more level. This of course is offset by the fact that on most dating sites your pool of gay or lesbian candidates is smaller, but your chances of them responding will generally be higher.
      - Scoundreller 11y ago
        Bingo, but (for the reasons given in the other reply, and probably an imbalance in members) that's expected for response rates to male--->female messages.
- cafard 11y ago
  Is there a running goods store near where you live? I don't have the time to run as much as I'd care to, but if I were new in town (Washington, DC), I'd start with the group runs that Pacers (1500 block of P St. NW) organizes, or Fleet Feet (? 1800 block of Columbia Road NW).
  - IgorPartola 11y ago
    That's a good point, I haven't checked those out. Mostly been looking through stuff on Meetup.com. I'll do that and see what turns up.
- cstanley 11y ago
  You can see who runs around you via Strava.com, not to mentions its an awesome GPS app for running/biking. App also has features to post pics/comment/like, social network centered around outdoor activities with GPS features, pretty cool.
  - IgorPartola 11y ago
    Never heard of Strava, I'll check it out, thanks.
- ryan-c 11y ago
  I actually ended up in my last job because of OkCupid. Someone sent me a message, we ended up talking for a bit, and they invited me to a board game party at their house. Ended up going, then later got nagged into providing a resume. OkCupid, at least when I signed up 10+ years ago, allowed you to specify that you were interested in platonic activity partners, and would show both a match rating and friend rating.
  - goatforce5 11y ago
    A (good looking, male) friend was in SF for a conference or something. I'm not sure who initiated contacted, but he got to talking to a (good looking, female) person(/account) on Tinder. They never met, but would talk about the tech industry. Tech gossip type stuff, similar to what you might see here or on Techcrunch, etc. The female he was talking to may or may not be real... But, if you wanted to get inside information on a bunch of companies, it would be a great way to do it (and i'm sure it's happening as we speak).
    - ryan-c 11y ago
      I've gotten requests on linkedin from accounts for fake women with stolen photos. I recall one in particular where I did a reverse image search on the profile photo and found that it was of a woman who'd been murdered a few years prior.
  - username3 11y ago
    Recruiters on OkCupid?
    - deleted 11y ago
      [deleted]
    - ryan-c 11y ago
      No, they were not a recruiter, and I am pretty sure that recruiting was not the motivation for contacting me.
- hispanic 11y ago
  See if there is a Nextdoor site set up for your neighborhood - nextdoor.com
DyslexicAtheist 11y ago
absolutely hilarious :-) he wants to make peoples live better with a sincere and kind idea. In return gets showered with millions of porn money. I guess it's the universe rewarding him for his good intentions.
- jacquesm 11y ago
  Pretty much the same thing happened to me and I'm still quite conflicted over it.
  - charlieflowers 11y ago
    I'm sure I'm not the only curious one who'd love to hear the rest of the story if you care to elaborate :)
    - jacquesm 11y ago
      In a nutshell, I built - together with my partners and employees - the first publicly available webcam software (which had a lot of customers from the adult world), and the first webcam community and we found that it turned into a porn site whenever we weren't looking for longer than 30 seconds. Eventually we gave the adult content its own space on the site and charged for access to that portion and this was the financial cork that kept the whole thing afloat during many years. See also: http://jacquesmattheij.com/content/story-behind-wwcom-camaradescom http://jacquesmattheij.com/content/story-behind-wwcom-camara... I've always resisted the pressure to either partner with a porn company or to let the inmates run the asylum but plenty of porn companies licensed the software and quite a few of those then pushed the envelope in terms of development often with lucrative deals as the result.
      - talmand 11y ago
        That's just business. You wouldn't be the first to get support from a source you're conflicted with to do what you actually wish to accomplish. If you would decide to walk away, well, then you wouldn't be the first to do that as well.
swalsh 11y ago
This is really sad to me, I legitimately want a site where I can find a buddy to go fishing with. I moved several years ago, and I really don't have any real "man" friends. I'm friendly with my coworkers, but its not really a "lets go fishing this weekend" kind of thing.
- mryan 11y ago
  I've had similar thoughts. Someone needs to create a kind of "Tinder for hobbies" app, if one does not already exist. Perhaps it could show a list of local activities allowing you to swipe right on things you would be interested in attending, then attempts to match you with people who would also be interested in going to the same event. This could work well for scheduled events as well as your weekend fishing example.
  - madez 11y ago
    But please don't require people to have a Stasi 2.0/Facebook account to use your service.
  - wehadfun 11y ago
    meetup.com kind of does this.
  - Fletch137 11y ago
    That would be fantastic, and definitely something I'd use. The idea of meeting up with a dynamically composed group of people to go and do an activity really appeals to me - especially with hobbies where new views/insights are particularly valuable. Does something like this already exist, anyone (I'm googling and not yet finding anything)?
    - mryan 11y ago
      Other commenters have noted meetup.com seems to be the closest. I'm hoping something else more like this already exists, as meetup.com isn't exactly what I had in mind.
  - 11y ago

IgorPartola 11y ago

That is both sad and very interesting. I have a similar problem with finding people to go running with me around where I live. Meetup groups around here are spread over a 50 mile radius or so, so that's no help. Perhaps I can try the opposite approach and post "hey, looking for a running buddy" on Match.com, OkCupid, AFF, etc.

deleted 11y ago
[deleted]
DanBC 11y ago
There is a niche in the market. Some people have tried to fill that niche, and they've posted their sites to HN. The main problems seem to be: 1) The sites only work once you have enough users to make them work, but you can't get more users until the site works. 2) People use them for sex, which is off-putting to large numbers of users. OKC should probably set up some kind of meet-friends-in-groups thing.
- IgorPartola 11y ago
  I wonder if something like this can be piggy backed off Facebook would work. You kill many birds with that stone: you can use the degrees of separation to verify people ("Oh, that's Joe's friend"), you already have an audience, and people are less likely to flood it with casual sex proposals.
  - phkahler 11y ago
    Facebook would be great but they're so full of garbage that few meaningful messages get through. I once sent out a query for people interested in a software project and tagged every friend I had who knows something about code (30-40). It didn't even show up in all their feeds. But hey, share a cat video hosted on a big commercial site and everyone gets that...
    - IgorPartola 11y ago
      That's why with FB it's better to private message. When I see myself tagged in a post with 30 other people I can safely ignore it. It's usually someone trying to send out a social message. If someone messages me directly, I know it's important enough and take the time to respond. YMMV.
- dm2 11y ago
  Meetup.com seems to do this successfully, is that the same type of site that you are referring to? I've considered going to a computer / technology / entrepreneurship club, but haven't yet. They also have local groups for dog owners, walking/fitness/specialty (ballet, dance), FPV drone flyers, sports groups, and almost anything else I could think of they had a group already started for it in my city. Some have memberships fees (completely optional when setting up a new group, afaik) and some have more strict requirements when joining (a potential problem but I haven't heard of it being abused).
  - giaour 11y ago
    Meetup seems to be successful because it only handles scheduled, group activities. If your website lets people privately connect with others who live in the same city, some of your user base will start using it to find sex.
    - dm2 11y ago
      > "If your website lets people privately connect with others who live in the same city, some of your user base will start using it to find sex." This seems like something that would be in a David Letterman "Top 10 list of things to consider for your new website".
Ntrails 11y ago
OKC at least has a "Looking for friends/Activity partners" option, whether it ever works is questionable. maybe people will message you, if not what have you lost? 10 mins to fill in a profile!
- ryan-c 11y ago
  OkCupid needs a lot more than 10 minutes to fill out a profile. Spending a couple hours answering questions is generally recommended for their matching algorithms to work well.
zimpenfish 11y ago
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/relationships/11599989/The-matchmaking-app-for-people-who-want-to-make-friends-not-love.html http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/relationships/11599989/The-ma... Althought it sounds a bit sparse at the moment.
- gadders 11y ago
  Bonus points for the Inbetweeners gifs.
will_work4tears 11y ago
I actually went to school to learn to build a site similar to this (2003, not sure how many tutorials there were then, but I didn't know of them anyway). Though my inspiration came from loving to camp and canoe/white water raft and no friends of mine liked that outdoorsy stuff. I also didn't realize this site was already out there, but if it was dating/sex related by that time, I wouldn't have known it could be used for that. FWIW, there's another site I think similary created for meeting people nearby as friends (Meetme.com) that has also turned into a sex/hookup app.
gadders 11y ago
Find a running club?
Scoundreller 11y ago
A straight female friend that had just moved into a new city directly messaged other women that she thought would make good friends on OKC. Her response rate was about 40%. I cried a little.
- spacehome 11y ago
  I don't understand your comment. Are you crying because 40% is high or low?
  - ryan-c 11y ago
    He's crying because his response rate trying to contact women to date is probably way lower than that.
    - IgorPartola 11y ago
      I have a somewhat unique perspective on this subject, and one of the insights I have gleamed is that gay and lesbian dating sites generally have much higher success rates. The reason is that perceived risk is much lower. Generally, when a man and a woman go out on a semi-blind date, the woman has a lot more to be afraid of. The guy can turn out to be a "creep" for example. Or if she decides at some point to have sex with him, she might get pregnant with little commitment from him. She has a lot to lose from a bad date than he does. On the other hand, two guys or two girls going out on a date is not as big a deal. The perception is that it's safer. There is of course a lot to worry about, but the playing field is usually a lot more level. This of course is offset by the fact that on most dating sites your pool of gay or lesbian candidates is smaller, but your chances of them responding will generally be higher.
    - Scoundreller 11y ago
      Bingo, but (for the reasons given in the other reply, and probably an imbalance in members) that's expected for response rates to male--->female messages.
cafard 11y ago
Is there a running goods store near where you live? I don't have the time to run as much as I'd care to, but if I were new in town (Washington, DC), I'd start with the group runs that Pacers (1500 block of P St. NW) organizes, or Fleet Feet (? 1800 block of Columbia Road NW).
- IgorPartola 11y ago
  That's a good point, I haven't checked those out. Mostly been looking through stuff on Meetup.com. I'll do that and see what turns up.
cstanley 11y ago
You can see who runs around you via Strava.com, not to mentions its an awesome GPS app for running/biking. App also has features to post pics/comment/like, social network centered around outdoor activities with GPS features, pretty cool.
- IgorPartola 11y ago
  Never heard of Strava, I'll check it out, thanks.
ryan-c 11y ago
I actually ended up in my last job because of OkCupid. Someone sent me a message, we ended up talking for a bit, and they invited me to a board game party at their house. Ended up going, then later got nagged into providing a resume. OkCupid, at least when I signed up 10+ years ago, allowed you to specify that you were interested in platonic activity partners, and would show both a match rating and friend rating.
- goatforce5 11y ago
  A (good looking, male) friend was in SF for a conference or something. I'm not sure who initiated contacted, but he got to talking to a (good looking, female) person(/account) on Tinder. They never met, but would talk about the tech industry. Tech gossip type stuff, similar to what you might see here or on Techcrunch, etc. The female he was talking to may or may not be real... But, if you wanted to get inside information on a bunch of companies, it would be a great way to do it (and i'm sure it's happening as we speak).
  - ryan-c 11y ago
    I've gotten requests on linkedin from accounts for fake women with stolen photos. I recall one in particular where I did a reverse image search on the profile photo and found that it was of a woman who'd been murdered a few years prior.
- username3 11y ago
  Recruiters on OkCupid?
  - deleted 11y ago
    [deleted]
  - ryan-c 11y ago
    No, they were not a recruiter, and I am pretty sure that recruiting was not the motivation for contacting me.
hispanic 11y ago
See if there is a Nextdoor site set up for your neighborhood - nextdoor.com

DyslexicAtheist 11y ago

absolutely hilarious :-) he wants to make peoples live better with a sincere and kind idea. In return gets showered with millions of porn money. I guess it's the universe rewarding him for his good intentions.

jacquesm 11y ago
Pretty much the same thing happened to me and I'm still quite conflicted over it.
- charlieflowers 11y ago
  I'm sure I'm not the only curious one who'd love to hear the rest of the story if you care to elaborate :)
  - jacquesm 11y ago
    In a nutshell, I built - together with my partners and employees - the first publicly available webcam software (which had a lot of customers from the adult world), and the first webcam community and we found that it turned into a porn site whenever we weren't looking for longer than 30 seconds. Eventually we gave the adult content its own space on the site and charged for access to that portion and this was the financial cork that kept the whole thing afloat during many years. See also: http://jacquesmattheij.com/content/story-behind-wwcom-camaradescom http://jacquesmattheij.com/content/story-behind-wwcom-camara... I've always resisted the pressure to either partner with a porn company or to let the inmates run the asylum but plenty of porn companies licensed the software and quite a few of those then pushed the envelope in terms of development often with lucrative deals as the result.
    - talmand 11y ago
      That's just business. You wouldn't be the first to get support from a source you're conflicted with to do what you actually wish to accomplish. If you would decide to walk away, well, then you wouldn't be the first to do that as well.

swalsh 11y ago

This is really sad to me, I legitimately want a site where I can find a buddy to go fishing with. I moved several years ago, and I really don't have any real "man" friends. I'm friendly with my coworkers, but its not really a "lets go fishing this weekend" kind of thing.

mryan 11y ago
I've had similar thoughts. Someone needs to create a kind of "Tinder for hobbies" app, if one does not already exist. Perhaps it could show a list of local activities allowing you to swipe right on things you would be interested in attending, then attempts to match you with people who would also be interested in going to the same event. This could work well for scheduled events as well as your weekend fishing example.
- madez 11y ago
  But please don't require people to have a Stasi 2.0/Facebook account to use your service.
- wehadfun 11y ago
  meetup.com kind of does this.
- Fletch137 11y ago
  That would be fantastic, and definitely something I'd use. The idea of meeting up with a dynamically composed group of people to go and do an activity really appeals to me - especially with hobbies where new views/insights are particularly valuable. Does something like this already exist, anyone (I'm googling and not yet finding anything)?
  - mryan 11y ago
    Other commenters have noted meetup.com seems to be the closest. I'm hoping something else more like this already exists, as meetup.com isn't exactly what I had in mind.
- 11y ago