5 ms·

I sincerely hope so, but I suspect not. In the world I grew up in, I had to be home before the street lights came on. I had to "check in" periodically, but ot

by bmelton 11y ago

I sincerely hope so, but I suspect not. In the world I grew up in, I had to be home before the street lights came on. I had to "check in" periodically, but otherwise, lived an unfettered lifestyle. I was free to roam, and roam I did. My friends and I had a tree fort we'd built in the woods, pieced together from scrap wood we'd found, complete with a tire swing. We swam in the streams, we biked full speed through wooded trails fraught with potholes, tree roots, fallen branches. We scoured the neighborhood in larger and larger radii, exploring til we found danger, excitement, or boredom. My daughter doesn't live in this world, and may never know it. My daughter lives in a world where Child Protective Services can pick her up for being seen without a parent. My daughter lives in a world where she can be detained for walking to her grandmother's house alone. My daughter lives in a world where building a tree fort could be construed as cause for arrest. Maybe it's for the better. Maybe we should place safety above all else in our children's lives. Maybe our parents should all have been removed, and each of us would have been better cared for as wards of the state. I honestly don't know, but I know that in exploration, curiosity was fostered. I know that in roaming, I learned how to be self-sustaining; or at least as self-sustaining as a child can be expected to be.

oqnet 11y ago
I think we should be safe but I do think we should let people explore. It's crazy to think what I did just 20 years ago is now something people would be frightened of(run off and play with friends). I didn't have play dates I didn't have boundaries, I had parents who gave me morals and let me guide myself. I had adventures with friends I will never forget, I had games where we ruled until we went home. If someone got hurt(and it did) we got an adult, it was a simple concept. I have kids now and while they aren't as old as I was when I started roaming the neighborhood it saddens me that I'm frightened to let them. Not because I'm worried someone will harm them and/or kidnap them, but because I'm worried someone will call the cops and CPS will come. That I will have a blip on a piece of paper(or electronic file these days) and that it could lead to court orders and in an extreme my kid taken away if only for a little while. I know that the police have to do their job and if someone reports a kid wonder around they should respond. I just wish that they weren't forced to call CPS in every instance(they are required any time a minor is involved here), like they aren't capable of assessing a situation. We live in a different world, but I don't believe it is any less safe than it was 20 years ago.
- bmelton 11y ago
  It is indeed objectively safer to live in America than any time in the past 5 decades. http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2015/04/14/theres-never-been-a-safer-time-to-be-a-kid-in-america/ http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2015/04/14/t... The question, of course, is whether or not that safety is attributable to our collective paranoia, or in spite of it.
murbard2 11y ago
Big difference between letting kids be free to do things and not coddling them vs. using authority to push them to do things they are uncomfortable with or afraid of.
- bmelton 11y ago
  Perhaps, but at the same time, it falls incumbent upon the parent to push kids into doing things they aren't comfortable with. The incidents in the story, really, aren't much different from a parent pushing their kids off on their first bike ride with no training wheels. Are they going to fall? Maybe. Are they going to die? Definitely not. Kids often have overblown senses of danger. Did the river have alligators? Maybe, maybe not (I checked though, it does), but kids are often imagining dangers that aren't there. Old Lady Crenshaw isn't really a witch, and her house isn't really haunted, and Old Man Cratchett isn't likely to shoot trespassing children on sight. My family frequently goes to Hawaii, and while it literally took weeks to convince my child that yeah, there are sharks in the ocean, but it's still safer than the car ride TO the beach. I don't feel even slightly guilty for trading out her fear of sharks for the wonderment that is the ocean. We discussed how to deal with sharks, what to do if we encounter one, blah blah blah, but at least to me, "avoiding the whole ocean forever" was not a valid way to deal with that fear.
  - jimmaswell 11y ago
    >Are they going to die? Definitely not. Do you think alligators can't kill you?
    - bmelton 11y ago
      I think that I'm deferring to the judgement of the father, and not the unreliable narrator, who expressly confesses that there might not have been any alligators around whatsoever. Regardless, even though you quoted out of context, it's perhaps worth backpeddling a bit, because even though I stated that they're definitely not going to die while riding a bike, even that is an overstatement. It's clearly not impossible to die on one's maiden bike ride, though it is still very, very unlikely.
kirsebaer 11y ago
How often does it really happen that CPS or the police are involved when a kid walks alone to grandma's or builds a tree-house? These are rare, shocking cases that get into the news and are discussed on the internet. Please be careful to not fall into the fear trap. Safety-nuts are afraid about rare "worst case" scenarios where a child is harmed. And then safety-nut-critics get themselves scared about rare cases where CPS or police are called a child playing alone. Just go ahead and let your kid be a kid.
- bmelton 11y ago
  I do, and I agree, that it is statistically very rare indeed. Living in Maryland (where we've seen much of these CPS shenanigans taking place) perhaps invokes my lizard brain paranoia even more, but just as I have coerced my daughter into the ocean because it is statistically safe, I have also coerced myself into letting her play, unattended, because while my irrational brain tells me that CPS is a potential threat, I have no problems forcing my rational brain to make decisions in spite of it.

by bmelton 11y ago

oqnet 11y ago

I think we should be safe but I do think we should let people explore. It's crazy to think what I did just 20 years ago is now something people would be frightened of(run off and play with friends). I didn't have play dates I didn't have boundaries, I had parents who gave me morals and let me guide myself. I had adventures with friends I will never forget, I had games where we ruled until we went home. If someone got hurt(and it did) we got an adult, it was a simple concept. I have kids now and while they aren't as old as I was when I started roaming the neighborhood it saddens me that I'm frightened to let them. Not because I'm worried someone will harm them and/or kidnap them, but because I'm worried someone will call the cops and CPS will come. That I will have a blip on a piece of paper(or electronic file these days) and that it could lead to court orders and in an extreme my kid taken away if only for a little while. I know that the police have to do their job and if someone reports a kid wonder around they should respond. I just wish that they weren't forced to call CPS in every instance(they are required any time a minor is involved here), like they aren't capable of assessing a situation. We live in a different world, but I don't believe it is any less safe than it was 20 years ago.

bmelton 11y ago
It is indeed objectively safer to live in America than any time in the past 5 decades. http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2015/04/14/theres-never-been-a-safer-time-to-be-a-kid-in-america/ http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2015/04/14/t... The question, of course, is whether or not that safety is attributable to our collective paranoia, or in spite of it.

murbard2 11y ago

Big difference between letting kids be free to do things and not coddling them vs. using authority to push them to do things they are uncomfortable with or afraid of.

bmelton 11y ago
Perhaps, but at the same time, it falls incumbent upon the parent to push kids into doing things they aren't comfortable with. The incidents in the story, really, aren't much different from a parent pushing their kids off on their first bike ride with no training wheels. Are they going to fall? Maybe. Are they going to die? Definitely not. Kids often have overblown senses of danger. Did the river have alligators? Maybe, maybe not (I checked though, it does), but kids are often imagining dangers that aren't there. Old Lady Crenshaw isn't really a witch, and her house isn't really haunted, and Old Man Cratchett isn't likely to shoot trespassing children on sight. My family frequently goes to Hawaii, and while it literally took weeks to convince my child that yeah, there are sharks in the ocean, but it's still safer than the car ride TO the beach. I don't feel even slightly guilty for trading out her fear of sharks for the wonderment that is the ocean. We discussed how to deal with sharks, what to do if we encounter one, blah blah blah, but at least to me, "avoiding the whole ocean forever" was not a valid way to deal with that fear.
- jimmaswell 11y ago
  >Are they going to die? Definitely not. Do you think alligators can't kill you?
  - bmelton 11y ago
    I think that I'm deferring to the judgement of the father, and not the unreliable narrator, who expressly confesses that there might not have been any alligators around whatsoever. Regardless, even though you quoted out of context, it's perhaps worth backpeddling a bit, because even though I stated that they're definitely not going to die while riding a bike, even that is an overstatement. It's clearly not impossible to die on one's maiden bike ride, though it is still very, very unlikely.

kirsebaer 11y ago

How often does it really happen that CPS or the police are involved when a kid walks alone to grandma's or builds a tree-house? These are rare, shocking cases that get into the news and are discussed on the internet. Please be careful to not fall into the fear trap. Safety-nuts are afraid about rare "worst case" scenarios where a child is harmed. And then safety-nut-critics get themselves scared about rare cases where CPS or police are called a child playing alone. Just go ahead and let your kid be a kid.

bmelton 11y ago
I do, and I agree, that it is statistically very rare indeed. Living in Maryland (where we've seen much of these CPS shenanigans taking place) perhaps invokes my lizard brain paranoia even more, but just as I have coerced my daughter into the ocean because it is statistically safe, I have also coerced myself into letting her play, unattended, because while my irrational brain tells me that CPS is a potential threat, I have no problems forcing my rational brain to make decisions in spite of it.