9 ms·

This is how I feel. I don't watch TV for hours like I did as a child. What I do now is worse; stay in doors programming, browsing the web aimlessly, or staring

by hoboon 12y ago

This is how I feel. I don't watch TV for hours like I did as a child. What I do now is worse; stay in doors programming, browsing the web aimlessly, or staring at the ceiling. I don't blame my internet lifestyle for this really, but I literally don't know what else to do and the internet is so accommodating to me being a shut-in. I know I'm wasting my life but I don't know how to stop. San Francisco is a beautiful city but it is wasted on me and I feel like I should feel guilty for that. I don't deserve this nice city; it belongs to creative people. Trying to leave the house to do anything interesting takes herculean efforts. I can't find joy or interest in anything beyond an intellectual level. Everyday sometimes feels like it's worse than the last. I'm trapped in an un-ending present where I grow older but never grow as a person. ps - anything you have to suggest is something i've heard already x10 and have or currently trying, such as therapy.

initself 12y ago
Perhaps meditation is what you need, so you can enjoy the un-ending present AND grow as a person! http://dhamma.org http://dhamma.org
moultano 12y ago
PS aside, you might find that walking aimlessly satisfies the same itch as browsing aimlessly, but you feel better at the end of it.
- GuiA 12y ago
  Yes. Cannot overstate how important that is. I've started taking random 10-15 minute walks throughout the day at work (leaving my phone on my desk), and it's a great way to clear your mind and relax a bit.
- jchrisa 12y ago
  +1 walking http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Détournement http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Détournement [edit] Meant this link http://www.bopsecrets.org/SI/2.derive.htm http://www.bopsecrets.org/SI/2.derive.htm
yequalsx 12y ago
This was me 10 years ago. I got rid of my cell phone and got rid of internet service at my house. I had to go to a local coffee shop. After a month or so of regularly going I met some people. I also took up racquetball and jiu-jitsu. Getting rid of internet service and a cell phone saved my life. At least in my opinion. These are suggestions for you but maybe someone for whom your comment resonates with will get a helpful idea from what I've written. I hope you find a way out of your rut.
- hoboon 12y ago
  > I got rid of my cell phone and got rid of internet service at my house. I've been wondering about doing something similar.
  - mathgeek 12y ago
    I know it sounds silly to most people, but this is a modern equivalent of "going cold turkey." Many of us are addicted to our network connections, which is tolerated and even celebrated because it's a tool that can also be used productively. For some people, not being able to get online once you leave the office (if you're lucky enough to have such a clear work/life divide) can be the best thing for leading a healthy life. So many people see the benefits of "cord cutting" but forget that replacing cable with WiFi is a problem of having six in one hand and half-a-dozen in the other.
- osi 12y ago
  +1 jiu jitsu. aside from being great mental and physical exercise, you will make friends from completely different walks of life, which is a good thing.
calbear81 12y ago
It helps to have persistent friends who force you to get outside. What types of things are you interested in?
percept 12y ago
Based on your postscript this may not help, but how about giving yourself the mission of getting outside the house and doing something at least once each day, with a sense of purpose? "I really don't feel like it, but I am going to walk to the park/bridge/waterfront and back. I am going to get a beer/coffee/tea at this place I've heard about. I will walk to the store and pick up groceries. It doesn't have to be anything miraculous or life changing and I don't have to meet or talk to anybody--I just have to try, because it will be worse if I don't."
- jsprogrammer 12y ago
  >with a sense of purpose? >"I really don't feel like it, but I am going to walk to the park/bridge/waterfront and back. I am going to get a beer/coffee/tea at this place I've heard about. I will walk to the store and pick up groceries. It doesn't have to be anything miraculous or life changing and I don't have to meet or talk to anybody--I just have to try, because it will be worse if I don't." Where is the purpose there?
  - campers 12y ago
    I think a better idea would be to accept there is no particular purpose, more about doing something random, that perhaps you think you'll feel better for after, and seeing what happens. Embrace the chaos!
  - gordjw 12y ago
    The purpose is the getting of the thing, or the being at the place. The point is that not everything you do needs to have a _higher_ purpose.
  - Smoofer 12y ago
    I think he means with a purpose in your activity. As in - go to the grocery store to get groceries Go to beer place to get beer. Small tasks with a small errand-like purpose to build up to bigger activities
gopher2 12y ago
That sounds rough! Would you like some random suggestions on what to do tonight based on projections from my personal life and experience?
- IkmoIkmo 12y ago
  Sure I would.
  - gopher2 12y ago
    Okay, here's some suggestions. Test them out and see what happens I guess. Frankly, I have no idea what will happen if you do them: 1) Take a random amount of money... $25...$50... research and donate it to a charity you think is cool. Pick one and do it. Like now. 2) Are you in your house right now? Still on your computer? Go outside and walk around. It doesn't have to be supremely interesting or perfect. 3) Go to a coffeeshop or other place you can sit. Get a drink. Stare at the wall without your computer. Try not to be productive. Drink your coffee. You are not allowed to be productive. 4) The book "Feeling Good" helped me immensely.
    - IkmoIkmo 12y ago
      1) I've been donating to Doctors without Borders since I was 18 and help fund a project on Kiva every month or so. If anyone's interested in researching where to give I also recommend checking out the Give Well foundation,[0] as it matters more how you give, than whether you give. i.e. there are millions of people who have partial or full blindness due to lack of vitamins. A simple $20 operation will restore their eyesight, which is gigantic. Alternatively, there are millions of blind people who will never be able to see. We have alleviate their blindness with a guide dog, but it costs $20k to raise and train the dog and blind person. That's a three order of magnitude difference in cost, and the 100x cheaper operation actually cures blindless, while the 100x more expensive option 'merely' makes a blind life better. In other words, one person donating $100 can be much more effective (curing 5 people of blindness) than 100 people donating $200 (giving 1 blind person a guide dog). This is the sort of thing the Give Well foundation tries to approach in a data-driven manner: what is the most effective way to give. This is an extreme example, but I think it's a really important approach to charity. 2) Went to my mom's birthday today instead. Was fun to see family again. 3) 9PM, reall cold and dark now... but yeah, I'd really struggle with this one even in the afternoon. But I'll try to do it tomorrow. Thanks! [0] http://www.givewell.org/ http://www.givewell.org/
IkmoIkmo 12y ago
Same here. Live in a beautiful city, cool friends, lovely girlfriend. Plenty of things exist here of which I can objectively say they're awesome, and in many things I'm genuinely interested, and so I avidly read and follow the news, whether it's social topics, economics, politics, tech etc. Yet I hold very little interest in experiencing anything personally. If I had to describe it succinctly; I've become a dedicated spectator, but no longer wish to participate. It's pretty ridiculous and something very strongly tells me it's the wrong way to live life, and I'd love for that to change. But the passion just isn't there to get involved anymore for even the simplest things like taking a walk outside. Again, as a spectator it's great. It's not as if I'm disinterested or don't like to hear from friends if they call me or want to visit. But calling them, or visiting them, somehow it's too big of a step. As it's only been like this for a few years I can see how ridiculous all of this is. It's like I got the lazy syndrome: still care, but not enough to act on it. Yet it's not really laziness as I never watch TV or sit on the couch or sleep all day or get no work done... It's something else but I can't quite put my finger on it. I wish I could take some kind of hormone injection and rediscover my lost motivation for life. Similarish postscript as you btw. Proper food, sleep, exercise, meditation, social, iteration etc, already covered stuff like that, but I'm open to new ideas.
- hoboon 12y ago
  >cool friends, lovely girlfriend. I don't have any of those.
  - IkmoIkmo 12y ago
    I don't quite know what to say... although I nearly wouldn't have, either. My girlfriend fell in love just as I was slipping into this new shut-in life. She had to adjust to me not really wanting to go to a cafe, movie, restaurant, park, museum, party, friends etc. It's the reason I wanted to break up and told her it's not going to work out like this. But she refused and stayed with me, we moved in together and it's been years now. But it hasn't been the same like 2 years earlier when I was a typical boyfriend, interested in participating in all facets of life and doing all of the above mentioned things and enjoying them, too. It's quite strange how it went and I'd still be okay with her finding someone else. I mean don't get me wrong I absolutely adore her but it's just how it is, something irrational. Same with friends, I've not instigated contact in 2 years now with any of my friends. I still have 3 who hit me up and I go see either of em a few times a month because they want to. But I'd also be okay if they stopped calling. Same with family. I hate to say it. I'd definitely still check in on them if they stopped calling, the only people really, but there's no real desire to hang out or talk, I'd just be really curious and concerned about how they're doing but not more than that. So it's really because of them, not me. Wish it was all like 3 years ago. Now I couldn't even get excited for a free holiday trip. Hell I used to love that. Traveled Europe, Africa, Asia and North America by the time I was 20. Now I don't even want to walk in the park when it's nice outside, and I literally live next to a park. Crazy how a brain can change for no discernible reason. When did things start to change for you, has it always been like this?
rodly 12y ago
ps - well i guess you should just roll over and die since you've clearly tried everything.
wicker 12y ago
I took a look at your previous submissions and I think you've already heard the advice I'd give. If you haven't already, I think it might be useful to contact your doctor and at least rule out the possibility of depression. Depression isn't just an attitude, it's an actual chemical imbalance. It's something that happens to all kinds of people and investigating it might lead you to a fix. I've had periods where I've felt that lack of joy or interest and I wondered why I even bothered, but I got some help and now in retrospect I can tell it was terrible to live like that. At least talk to a doctor and bring up the possibility. Tons of people around you struggle with the same thing even while they look so awesome and successful, especially if you're in the valley. I know it feels like you're totally alone but you're really not. At least investigate that your brain chemistry might be a little out of sorts.
- girvo 12y ago
  Yeah. I've experienced the exact same feeling, and had points in my life where I didn't leave my house for months on end. It was depression that was the cause; CBT, anti-depressants (and exercise soon after) helped fix that and now it's no longer a struggle.
- Retric 12y ago
  While depression is a real issue, I think people suffer from all the Skinner box reward cycles built into games / apps now days. Cook dinner takes time and some effort, clicking delver now and soon food just shows up. Things that lack that level of reinforcement just seem less interesting. Sure, I could physically travel to interesting places or just click around on Google maps. The joy might not be as great as actually seeing the same thing in person, but places are so much easier to get to online. A physical firing range is seriously intense, but messing around in a FPS does not involve leaving the house and it takes so much less skill. Not to mention something like guitar hero vs. an actual guitar.
  - lloydde 12y ago
    Tough love doesn't work here. Logic doesn't penetrate. Worse, I worry you could come across as trivializing addiction, depression and other mental health issues. When in doubt seek help. That is what we need to encourage. And I know first hand how hard it is to seek help and keep seeking it, but the very act can be its own little bit of healing.
copsarebastards 12y ago
How about going on Couchsurfing and putting yourself up as a host? If you don't have the energy to go out into the world, you can get the world to come to you, all through the internet.
ajcarpy2005 12y ago
Supplemental MSM,5-htp, L-Theanine, Magnesium, NAC, and Alpha Lipoic Acid
unclesaamm 12y ago
This sounds like what the Japanese call Hikikomori (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hikikomori http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hikikomori). I saw a wonderful anime about a Hikikomori character recently, called Welcome to the NHK. It's on Netflix, and I recommend it to everyone since it's topical but also because it was oddly (and sometimes not so oddly) moving.
grinich 12y ago
You should travel. Buy a plane ticket and just go. Don't even pack-- you can buy more clothes if you need them.
Artistry121 12y ago
Come visit LA - you can stay with me if you like. I'm looking for new friends in the area and we could meet a bunch together - or go to a few nerd nights. Respond if interested.
- jdoliner 12y ago
  It's not often I see compassion like this on HN. Good for you.
Artistry121 12y ago
Come visit LA - you can stay with me if you like. I'm looking for new friends in the area and we could meet a bunch together - or go to a few nerd nights. Respond if interested.
nickysielicki 12y ago
Go on google flights and pick a city that sounds dangerous.
Scarfleece 12y ago
If you're an alcoholic, you don't work as a wine taste tester, and you certainly don't keep an infinitely-replenishing liquor cabinet at home.
da02 12y ago
Any sites you recommend that are interesting? Or favorite docs found on vimeo/youtube/whatever?
casaubon 12y ago
If you get an opportunity, you can take a few weeks or months off and do something crazy and awesome: http://www.outwardbound.org/course-finder/?age=&programs%5B%5D=98 http://www.outwardbound.org/course-finder/?age=&programs%5B%... It sounds like you can afford it.
ThrustVectoring 12y ago
>ps - anything you have to suggest is something i've heard already x10 and have or currently trying, such as therapy. Uhh, you sure? Solution space is much bigger than you'd think. Have you heard of Trigger-Action Planning (also known in the literature by the horrible name "Implementation Intentions")? It gets you around 0.6 standard deviations more "doing things you want to do but don't end up doing." The gist of it is fairly straightforward - take a concrete experience, and tie it to a specific action you want to do in that context. "When I walk through my bedroom door, do a pull-up on the pull-up bar" is a great TAP. "After dinner, study math" is a bad one. "When I open reddit, close reddit" is both hilarious and effective. The best part is that doing Trigger-Action Planning badly is better than not trying it at all. It's why I'm sharing it, since it's generally safe. It's a learnable skill for programming your automatic and habitual actions. (Please don't use it to program experiencing negative emotions into yourself. Part of your problem is likely that you've programmed "feel guilty about being unworthy of San Francisco" as an automatic response to experiencing San Francisco's beauty. If this resonates with you, don't feel bad about it - this is a growth opportunity, which is not something you want to avoid in the future.)
kaitai 12y ago
No suggestions, but a historical comment: the sort-of ancients described this as "acedia". Monks and other solitaries were worried about this problem and discussed how to deal with the demon of acedia. From the Wikipedia page, the Oxford Dictionary of Church Stuff calls it "a state of restlessness and inability either to work or to pray". I actually learned about it from "Acedia and Me" by Kathleen Norris. It was given to me by a friend at a period in my life when I'd get up at 9 or 10 and drag myself through my part-time job and not make progress at side projects even though I had lots of time, all the time in the world....
irascible 12y ago
Your self awareness is commendable. I'd hazard a guess that you belong here more than you think you do. Just recognize that beauty when you see it, and keep supporting the locals. It's a city of immigrants.
deleted 12y ago
[deleted]
Kiro 12y ago
I am the same but my view on it is the complete opposite - I love my life! Staying home programming and surfing the web is the most stimulating, fun and rewarding thing I know so why would I bother doing anything else?
roguecoder 12y ago
Have you considered volunteering? We can make our lives so safe, so sufficient, that there is no reason to do more, but that doesn't mean that there are no wants in the world. When we substitute someone else's needs for our own (which we've already taken care of), we can both make the world a better place and find a reason for trying again. So many organizations can benefit from someone who knows how to use Excel or set up a wireless router or help optimize some workflow, and you can have an enormous impact while getting to see the broader world. Either that, or get some good shrooms.
gallifreyan 12y ago
Hi Hoboon. I'm the editor of the story the OP put up here. Would you mind dropping me a line? bobbie at medium dot com

by hoboon 12y ago

initself 12y ago

Perhaps meditation is what you need, so you can enjoy the un-ending present AND grow as a person! http://dhamma.org http://dhamma.org

moultano 12y ago

PS aside, you might find that walking aimlessly satisfies the same itch as browsing aimlessly, but you feel better at the end of it.

GuiA 12y ago
Yes. Cannot overstate how important that is. I've started taking random 10-15 minute walks throughout the day at work (leaving my phone on my desk), and it's a great way to clear your mind and relax a bit.
jchrisa 12y ago
+1 walking http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Détournement http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Détournement [edit] Meant this link http://www.bopsecrets.org/SI/2.derive.htm http://www.bopsecrets.org/SI/2.derive.htm

yequalsx 12y ago

This was me 10 years ago. I got rid of my cell phone and got rid of internet service at my house. I had to go to a local coffee shop. After a month or so of regularly going I met some people. I also took up racquetball and jiu-jitsu. Getting rid of internet service and a cell phone saved my life. At least in my opinion. These are suggestions for you but maybe someone for whom your comment resonates with will get a helpful idea from what I've written. I hope you find a way out of your rut.

hoboon 12y ago
> I got rid of my cell phone and got rid of internet service at my house. I've been wondering about doing something similar.
- mathgeek 12y ago
  I know it sounds silly to most people, but this is a modern equivalent of "going cold turkey." Many of us are addicted to our network connections, which is tolerated and even celebrated because it's a tool that can also be used productively. For some people, not being able to get online once you leave the office (if you're lucky enough to have such a clear work/life divide) can be the best thing for leading a healthy life. So many people see the benefits of "cord cutting" but forget that replacing cable with WiFi is a problem of having six in one hand and half-a-dozen in the other.
osi 12y ago
+1 jiu jitsu. aside from being great mental and physical exercise, you will make friends from completely different walks of life, which is a good thing.

calbear81 12y ago

It helps to have persistent friends who force you to get outside. What types of things are you interested in?

percept 12y ago

Based on your postscript this may not help, but how about giving yourself the mission of getting outside the house and doing something at least once each day, with a sense of purpose? "I really don't feel like it, but I am going to walk to the park/bridge/waterfront and back. I am going to get a beer/coffee/tea at this place I've heard about. I will walk to the store and pick up groceries. It doesn't have to be anything miraculous or life changing and I don't have to meet or talk to anybody--I just have to try, because it will be worse if I don't."

jsprogrammer 12y ago
>with a sense of purpose? >"I really don't feel like it, but I am going to walk to the park/bridge/waterfront and back. I am going to get a beer/coffee/tea at this place I've heard about. I will walk to the store and pick up groceries. It doesn't have to be anything miraculous or life changing and I don't have to meet or talk to anybody--I just have to try, because it will be worse if I don't." Where is the purpose there?
- campers 12y ago
  I think a better idea would be to accept there is no particular purpose, more about doing something random, that perhaps you think you'll feel better for after, and seeing what happens. Embrace the chaos!
- gordjw 12y ago
  The purpose is the getting of the thing, or the being at the place. The point is that not everything you do needs to have a _higher_ purpose.
- Smoofer 12y ago
  I think he means with a purpose in your activity. As in - go to the grocery store to get groceries Go to beer place to get beer. Small tasks with a small errand-like purpose to build up to bigger activities

gopher2 12y ago

That sounds rough! Would you like some random suggestions on what to do tonight based on projections from my personal life and experience?

IkmoIkmo 12y ago
Sure I would.
- gopher2 12y ago
  Okay, here's some suggestions. Test them out and see what happens I guess. Frankly, I have no idea what will happen if you do them: 1) Take a random amount of money... $25...$50... research and donate it to a charity you think is cool. Pick one and do it. Like now. 2) Are you in your house right now? Still on your computer? Go outside and walk around. It doesn't have to be supremely interesting or perfect. 3) Go to a coffeeshop or other place you can sit. Get a drink. Stare at the wall without your computer. Try not to be productive. Drink your coffee. You are not allowed to be productive. 4) The book "Feeling Good" helped me immensely.
  - IkmoIkmo 12y ago
    1) I've been donating to Doctors without Borders since I was 18 and help fund a project on Kiva every month or so. If anyone's interested in researching where to give I also recommend checking out the Give Well foundation,[0] as it matters more how you give, than whether you give. i.e. there are millions of people who have partial or full blindness due to lack of vitamins. A simple $20 operation will restore their eyesight, which is gigantic. Alternatively, there are millions of blind people who will never be able to see. We have alleviate their blindness with a guide dog, but it costs $20k to raise and train the dog and blind person. That's a three order of magnitude difference in cost, and the 100x cheaper operation actually cures blindless, while the 100x more expensive option 'merely' makes a blind life better. In other words, one person donating $100 can be much more effective (curing 5 people of blindness) than 100 people donating $200 (giving 1 blind person a guide dog). This is the sort of thing the Give Well foundation tries to approach in a data-driven manner: what is the most effective way to give. This is an extreme example, but I think it's a really important approach to charity. 2) Went to my mom's birthday today instead. Was fun to see family again. 3) 9PM, reall cold and dark now... but yeah, I'd really struggle with this one even in the afternoon. But I'll try to do it tomorrow. Thanks! [0] http://www.givewell.org/ http://www.givewell.org/

IkmoIkmo 12y ago

Same here. Live in a beautiful city, cool friends, lovely girlfriend. Plenty of things exist here of which I can objectively say they're awesome, and in many things I'm genuinely interested, and so I avidly read and follow the news, whether it's social topics, economics, politics, tech etc. Yet I hold very little interest in experiencing anything personally. If I had to describe it succinctly; I've become a dedicated spectator, but no longer wish to participate. It's pretty ridiculous and something very strongly tells me it's the wrong way to live life, and I'd love for that to change. But the passion just isn't there to get involved anymore for even the simplest things like taking a walk outside. Again, as a spectator it's great. It's not as if I'm disinterested or don't like to hear from friends if they call me or want to visit. But calling them, or visiting them, somehow it's too big of a step. As it's only been like this for a few years I can see how ridiculous all of this is. It's like I got the lazy syndrome: still care, but not enough to act on it. Yet it's not really laziness as I never watch TV or sit on the couch or sleep all day or get no work done... It's something else but I can't quite put my finger on it. I wish I could take some kind of hormone injection and rediscover my lost motivation for life. Similarish postscript as you btw. Proper food, sleep, exercise, meditation, social, iteration etc, already covered stuff like that, but I'm open to new ideas.

hoboon 12y ago
>cool friends, lovely girlfriend. I don't have any of those.
- IkmoIkmo 12y ago
  I don't quite know what to say... although I nearly wouldn't have, either. My girlfriend fell in love just as I was slipping into this new shut-in life. She had to adjust to me not really wanting to go to a cafe, movie, restaurant, park, museum, party, friends etc. It's the reason I wanted to break up and told her it's not going to work out like this. But she refused and stayed with me, we moved in together and it's been years now. But it hasn't been the same like 2 years earlier when I was a typical boyfriend, interested in participating in all facets of life and doing all of the above mentioned things and enjoying them, too. It's quite strange how it went and I'd still be okay with her finding someone else. I mean don't get me wrong I absolutely adore her but it's just how it is, something irrational. Same with friends, I've not instigated contact in 2 years now with any of my friends. I still have 3 who hit me up and I go see either of em a few times a month because they want to. But I'd also be okay if they stopped calling. Same with family. I hate to say it. I'd definitely still check in on them if they stopped calling, the only people really, but there's no real desire to hang out or talk, I'd just be really curious and concerned about how they're doing but not more than that. So it's really because of them, not me. Wish it was all like 3 years ago. Now I couldn't even get excited for a free holiday trip. Hell I used to love that. Traveled Europe, Africa, Asia and North America by the time I was 20. Now I don't even want to walk in the park when it's nice outside, and I literally live next to a park. Crazy how a brain can change for no discernible reason. When did things start to change for you, has it always been like this?

rodly 12y ago

ps - well i guess you should just roll over and die since you've clearly tried everything.

wicker 12y ago

I took a look at your previous submissions and I think you've already heard the advice I'd give. If you haven't already, I think it might be useful to contact your doctor and at least rule out the possibility of depression. Depression isn't just an attitude, it's an actual chemical imbalance. It's something that happens to all kinds of people and investigating it might lead you to a fix. I've had periods where I've felt that lack of joy or interest and I wondered why I even bothered, but I got some help and now in retrospect I can tell it was terrible to live like that. At least talk to a doctor and bring up the possibility. Tons of people around you struggle with the same thing even while they look so awesome and successful, especially if you're in the valley. I know it feels like you're totally alone but you're really not. At least investigate that your brain chemistry might be a little out of sorts.

girvo 12y ago
Yeah. I've experienced the exact same feeling, and had points in my life where I didn't leave my house for months on end. It was depression that was the cause; CBT, anti-depressants (and exercise soon after) helped fix that and now it's no longer a struggle.
Retric 12y ago
While depression is a real issue, I think people suffer from all the Skinner box reward cycles built into games / apps now days. Cook dinner takes time and some effort, clicking delver now and soon food just shows up. Things that lack that level of reinforcement just seem less interesting. Sure, I could physically travel to interesting places or just click around on Google maps. The joy might not be as great as actually seeing the same thing in person, but places are so much easier to get to online. A physical firing range is seriously intense, but messing around in a FPS does not involve leaving the house and it takes so much less skill. Not to mention something like guitar hero vs. an actual guitar.
- lloydde 12y ago
  Tough love doesn't work here. Logic doesn't penetrate. Worse, I worry you could come across as trivializing addiction, depression and other mental health issues. When in doubt seek help. That is what we need to encourage. And I know first hand how hard it is to seek help and keep seeking it, but the very act can be its own little bit of healing.

copsarebastards 12y ago

How about going on Couchsurfing and putting yourself up as a host? If you don't have the energy to go out into the world, you can get the world to come to you, all through the internet.

ajcarpy2005 12y ago

Supplemental MSM,5-htp, L-Theanine, Magnesium, NAC, and Alpha Lipoic Acid

unclesaamm 12y ago

This sounds like what the Japanese call Hikikomori (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hikikomori http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hikikomori). I saw a wonderful anime about a Hikikomori character recently, called Welcome to the NHK. It's on Netflix, and I recommend it to everyone since it's topical but also because it was oddly (and sometimes not so oddly) moving.

grinich 12y ago

You should travel. Buy a plane ticket and just go. Don't even pack-- you can buy more clothes if you need them.

Artistry121 12y ago

Come visit LA - you can stay with me if you like. I'm looking for new friends in the area and we could meet a bunch together - or go to a few nerd nights. Respond if interested.

jdoliner 12y ago
It's not often I see compassion like this on HN. Good for you.

Artistry121 12y ago

Come visit LA - you can stay with me if you like. I'm looking for new friends in the area and we could meet a bunch together - or go to a few nerd nights. Respond if interested.

nickysielicki 12y ago

Go on google flights and pick a city that sounds dangerous.

Scarfleece 12y ago

If you're an alcoholic, you don't work as a wine taste tester, and you certainly don't keep an infinitely-replenishing liquor cabinet at home.

da02 12y ago

Any sites you recommend that are interesting? Or favorite docs found on vimeo/youtube/whatever?

casaubon 12y ago

If you get an opportunity, you can take a few weeks or months off and do something crazy and awesome: http://www.outwardbound.org/course-finder/?age=&programs%5B%5D=98 http://www.outwardbound.org/course-finder/?age=&programs%5B%... It sounds like you can afford it.

ThrustVectoring 12y ago

>ps - anything you have to suggest is something i've heard already x10 and have or currently trying, such as therapy. Uhh, you sure? Solution space is much bigger than you'd think. Have you heard of Trigger-Action Planning (also known in the literature by the horrible name "Implementation Intentions")? It gets you around 0.6 standard deviations more "doing things you want to do but don't end up doing." The gist of it is fairly straightforward - take a concrete experience, and tie it to a specific action you want to do in that context. "When I walk through my bedroom door, do a pull-up on the pull-up bar" is a great TAP. "After dinner, study math" is a bad one. "When I open reddit, close reddit" is both hilarious and effective. The best part is that doing Trigger-Action Planning badly is better than not trying it at all. It's why I'm sharing it, since it's generally safe. It's a learnable skill for programming your automatic and habitual actions. (Please don't use it to program experiencing negative emotions into yourself. Part of your problem is likely that you've programmed "feel guilty about being unworthy of San Francisco" as an automatic response to experiencing San Francisco's beauty. If this resonates with you, don't feel bad about it - this is a growth opportunity, which is not something you want to avoid in the future.)

kaitai 12y ago

No suggestions, but a historical comment: the sort-of ancients described this as "acedia". Monks and other solitaries were worried about this problem and discussed how to deal with the demon of acedia. From the Wikipedia page, the Oxford Dictionary of Church Stuff calls it "a state of restlessness and inability either to work or to pray". I actually learned about it from "Acedia and Me" by Kathleen Norris. It was given to me by a friend at a period in my life when I'd get up at 9 or 10 and drag myself through my part-time job and not make progress at side projects even though I had lots of time, all the time in the world....

irascible 12y ago

Your self awareness is commendable. I'd hazard a guess that you belong here more than you think you do. Just recognize that beauty when you see it, and keep supporting the locals. It's a city of immigrants.

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Kiro 12y ago

I am the same but my view on it is the complete opposite - I love my life! Staying home programming and surfing the web is the most stimulating, fun and rewarding thing I know so why would I bother doing anything else?

roguecoder 12y ago

Have you considered volunteering? We can make our lives so safe, so sufficient, that there is no reason to do more, but that doesn't mean that there are no wants in the world. When we substitute someone else's needs for our own (which we've already taken care of), we can both make the world a better place and find a reason for trying again. So many organizations can benefit from someone who knows how to use Excel or set up a wireless router or help optimize some workflow, and you can have an enormous impact while getting to see the broader world. Either that, or get some good shrooms.

gallifreyan 12y ago

Hi Hoboon. I'm the editor of the story the OP put up here. Would you mind dropping me a line? bobbie at medium dot com