7 ms·

It's a great question but a terribly sexist way of asking it.

by Ixiaus 12y ago

pbhjpbhj 12y ago
How is it sexist? Surely if female attraction to particular forms of female bodies is sexist then the vast majority of women are sexist? Crudely termed, granted. Of course the GP could be male too I suppose; not sure if that makes a difference.
- Ixiaus 12y ago
  It's a sexist statement because personal taste is implied rather than stated, the question is totally valid but should be phrased in a socially friendlier way. This is the only way for men to overcome the wave of sexism finger-pointing. "What about other body parts I find attractive?" isn't sexist. Or even, "I like boobs, what about those?" also isn't sexist (since it's explicitly conveying personal taste). As it is, the original comment is crass. Probably more crass than sexist, I'll admit, but I promise you there are female readers here that probably rolled their eyes when they read the original comment rather than thinking, "yeah, what about that, that's a good question!"
  - mycroft-holmes 12y ago
    > Probably more crass than sexist Yes, crass. But it's not sexist.
    - Ixiaus 12y ago
      No, I still think there's a sexist tone, but I will concede that it's more crass than sexist.
  - deleted 12y ago
    [deleted]
  - istorical 12y ago
    You bring the interesting question into the mix: Would we rather have an environment which attempts to make everyone comfortable, safe, and - unoffended and untriggered? Or would we rather have an environment which attempts to give everyone the right to say what they wish, in the way they wish, without having to self-censor, and - quite possibly end up saying things that are hurtful or uncomfortable to others? This question is at the heart of many disagreements in online communities. To me, in the past HN started off as a place where censorship and tone-policing was more rare, but as time progresses it becomes more and more an environment that is about tone-policing and preventing discomfort or offense. I can't claim that either dynamic is preferable to the other.
    - Ixiaus 12y ago
      I'm not supporting the idea that we should police what people are saying or limit their freedom, I don't condone that. However I do think there's a place for civil discussion and the idea that we're a social species attempting to all understand each-other, what each-other experience in life, and how we can all interact in a way that's collaborative is extremely important to our collective improvement, I think. So sure, say whatever you want to say, that's your own right but it will inevitably cut you off or out of the collaborative environment some people desire to be a part of and work hard to create, that is if what you say isn't shaped in such a way to honor and respect other people's own individual experiences and preferences. My words were intended to be a reminder and not to be taken as policing (even if I wanted to, I can't!) I firmly believe personal desires and preferences can be freely expressed in a manner that honors the person holding them and also honors the possibly different preferences and desires of other people.
  - vannevar 12y ago
    I see your point, but the sexism you speak of comes from our assumption that the poster is male because he likes boobs (not necessarily true), and our consequent conclusion that "he" is implying the readership here is male. As you say, the mere expression of a personal sexual preference is not sexist in any way. People use Tinder to find a sexual partner for themselves, so any criteria is fair game (even if it may cause eye-rolling). Now if it was being used to select Nobel Prize-winners, saying "what about boobs?" would indeed be intrinsically sexist.

It's a great question but a terribly sexist way of asking it.

by Ixiaus 12y ago

It's a great question but a terribly sexist way of asking it.

How is it sexist? Surely if female attraction to particular forms of female bodies is sexist then the vast majority of women are sexist? Crudely termed, granted. Of course the GP could be male too I suppose; not sure if that makes a difference.

Ixiaus 12y ago
It's a sexist statement because personal taste is implied rather than stated, the question is totally valid but should be phrased in a socially friendlier way. This is the only way for men to overcome the wave of sexism finger-pointing. "What about other body parts I find attractive?" isn't sexist. Or even, "I like boobs, what about those?" also isn't sexist (since it's explicitly conveying personal taste). As it is, the original comment is crass. Probably more crass than sexist, I'll admit, but I promise you there are female readers here that probably rolled their eyes when they read the original comment rather than thinking, "yeah, what about that, that's a good question!"
- mycroft-holmes 12y ago
  > Probably more crass than sexist Yes, crass. But it's not sexist.
  - Ixiaus 12y ago
    No, I still think there's a sexist tone, but I will concede that it's more crass than sexist.
- deleted 12y ago
  [deleted]
- istorical 12y ago
  You bring the interesting question into the mix: Would we rather have an environment which attempts to make everyone comfortable, safe, and - unoffended and untriggered? Or would we rather have an environment which attempts to give everyone the right to say what they wish, in the way they wish, without having to self-censor, and - quite possibly end up saying things that are hurtful or uncomfortable to others? This question is at the heart of many disagreements in online communities. To me, in the past HN started off as a place where censorship and tone-policing was more rare, but as time progresses it becomes more and more an environment that is about tone-policing and preventing discomfort or offense. I can't claim that either dynamic is preferable to the other.
  - Ixiaus 12y ago
    I'm not supporting the idea that we should police what people are saying or limit their freedom, I don't condone that. However I do think there's a place for civil discussion and the idea that we're a social species attempting to all understand each-other, what each-other experience in life, and how we can all interact in a way that's collaborative is extremely important to our collective improvement, I think. So sure, say whatever you want to say, that's your own right but it will inevitably cut you off or out of the collaborative environment some people desire to be a part of and work hard to create, that is if what you say isn't shaped in such a way to honor and respect other people's own individual experiences and preferences. My words were intended to be a reminder and not to be taken as policing (even if I wanted to, I can't!) I firmly believe personal desires and preferences can be freely expressed in a manner that honors the person holding them and also honors the possibly different preferences and desires of other people.
- vannevar 12y ago
  I see your point, but the sexism you speak of comes from our assumption that the poster is male because he likes boobs (not necessarily true), and our consequent conclusion that "he" is implying the readership here is male. As you say, the mere expression of a personal sexual preference is not sexist in any way. People use Tinder to find a sexual partner for themselves, so any criteria is fair game (even if it may cause eye-rolling). Now if it was being used to select Nobel Prize-winners, saying "what about boobs?" would indeed be intrinsically sexist.