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Here is how to write a landing page. Big letters: "Sandstorm makes it easier to do XYZ" or "Sandstorm lets you do XYZ by doing XYZ" E.g. "Sandstorm lets you r

Here is how to write a landing page. Big letters: "Sandstorm makes it easier to do XYZ" or "Sandstorm lets you do XYZ by doing XYZ" E.g. "Sandstorm lets you run your own personal web applications without needing a background in IT!" or "Sandstorm lets you to install personal web apps as easily as you install mobile apps!" 3 examples of what this could actually mean for 80% of your users "Run your own Dropbox!" "Host your own WordPress Blog!" "Get a mailbox to match your personalized email address!" THEN drill down into what it actually is (Sandstorm is a open source platform that makes it easier to run and manage your own personal server, yadda yadda), and its more specific features, such as usability, security, etc. (This advice operates under the assumption that "individuals" are your main target audience.)

qiqing 12y ago
Thanks for your feedback!
larrybud 12y ago
+1 I went to Sandstorm's home page, and spent the first 5 minutes trying to figure out what it is & what it does. "Sandstorm is an open source platform for personal servers". Ok, fine, but what is it REALLY? What does it do? Why is it better than (hosting / VPS hosting / AWS / Docker / PaaS)? Give me some examples of what I can do with it. Sorry, you lost me with your home page.
- roadnottaken 12y ago
  I had the same experience. Still don't get it.
  - kentonv 12y ago
    Question: Did either of you try the demo? (I know it was kind of broken under all the traffic earlier.) Usually the demo is what makes people "get it". It's been surprisingly difficult to find a sentence or two that describe Sandstorm in a way that is effective on everyone. For any text we use, different sets of people get it or are confused. :/
    - akanet 12y ago
      Sure, but I think almost anything is better here than "Sandstorm is an open source platform for personal servers."
    - themoonbus 12y ago
      People on the internet are easily distracted and have short attention spans. You want them to get interested enough to actually run your demo. I'm not going to take 10 minutes to delve deeper unless you hook me to begin with. Also, you don't need to have text that appeals to everyone (there is no "average" user), but you should be able to write text that appeals to at least one of your groups (individuals, developers, enterprise). The two sentences you have currently are so generic that they don't say anything at all. An open source platform? An open source platform that does what? Target the group with your messaging that you are targeting with your platform. Sure, sandstorm could be used by any of them, but which group is MOST important to your platform?
      - kentonv 12y ago
        I've added a brief subtext based in part on your suggestions. Let me know what you think.
        themoonbus 12y ago
        Looks good! I would think about replacing your main tagline with that sentence, or something like it. Not to be overly harsh, but your main tagline doesn't say anything. Edit: Actually, I think if you said something like "Sandstorm is an open source app platform for personal servers" that would be a major improvement. The whole "app" part is missing from the main tagline. Then, your sub-tagline goes into more detail about what apps. Edit 2: Actually, I would remove the open source part altogether. It's redundant if you have a github link somewhere on your page, which you do, and I think the developer community you are targeting would assume that it's open source. Or, just keep "open".
        kentonv 12y ago
- CalRobert 12y ago
  It's better because the internet was supposed to be a bunch of computers talking to each other. It was a beautiful vision. Instead, it's been centralized on two levels: FB/Google/Instagram etc. serving content, and AWS/DigitalOcean owning the hardware for those intrepid individuals who want to roll their own solutions. The internet wasn't supposed to be Amazon, Google, and Facebook all talking to each other. It's scary that ISP's don't even want you to host your own (modest) server. It's SUPPOSED to be a bunch of computers networked together! Sandstorm makes it easier to live that vision where you own the hardware, or at LEAST have full control over your cloud. It doesn't necessarily need to be your home computer - a colo'ed odroid (or RPi if your needs are modest) would do the trick too. As more and more of the internet is gobbled up by VPS services I think it's important that the average Jane or Joe can still put together their own website, blog, game server, etc. and not be reliant on a company for it.
  - apenguin 12y ago
    Unfortunately, I don't see how this solves the problem. The main problem for me is this part of my ISP's ToS: "Users may not run any type of server on the system." Further, every ISP I've ever had has had some such clause. I'd have to get a business plan to actually be allowed to run a server. So who is this, or any home server software, even for? (Or at least, who in the US)
    - kentonv 12y ago
      Sandstorm is not necessarily about running the server at home (though you can). It's more about being able to choose what is on your server and control how your data is stored and accessed, whether on a home machine or running in a datacenter.
      - ausjke 12y ago
        I think I can use apt-get/rpm/etc to control what's on my server already these days?
        12y ago
coldpie 12y ago
Good ideas, but make sure you hire a copy editor! "Let's" is short for "let us", like "let's go to the store." "Lets" is a conjugation of "to let" (i.e. to enable) like "Sandstorm lets you do XYZ."
- themoonbus 12y ago
  Oops, fixed. Yes, don't take copy directly from a hastily written Hacker News post :)
sinatra 12y ago
Great suggestions! I'd say "Sandstorm lets you install server apps as easily as you install mobile apps!"
- themoonbus 12y ago
  Yes, I definitely think something along those lines, especially if you're targeting a group of people who are somewhat tech savvy, but not tech savvy enough to run their own server.
- taivare 12y ago
  and for the ad campaign.." your Server will be with you "
resu 12y ago
If anything, the call for action ("Try the demo" button) should be made MUCH more noticeable. I was thinking the same thoughts as you because who wants to try the half-assed barely functional demos that most sites put up? Well, I decided to give the demo a try anyway, and damn am I impressed. Almost didn't click it though. So hey, make it pop!

qiqing 12y ago

Thanks for your feedback!

larrybud 12y ago

+1 I went to Sandstorm's home page, and spent the first 5 minutes trying to figure out what it is & what it does. "Sandstorm is an open source platform for personal servers". Ok, fine, but what is it REALLY? What does it do? Why is it better than (hosting / VPS hosting / AWS / Docker / PaaS)? Give me some examples of what I can do with it. Sorry, you lost me with your home page.

roadnottaken 12y ago
I had the same experience. Still don't get it.
- kentonv 12y ago
  Question: Did either of you try the demo? (I know it was kind of broken under all the traffic earlier.) Usually the demo is what makes people "get it". It's been surprisingly difficult to find a sentence or two that describe Sandstorm in a way that is effective on everyone. For any text we use, different sets of people get it or are confused. :/
  - akanet 12y ago
    Sure, but I think almost anything is better here than "Sandstorm is an open source platform for personal servers."
  - themoonbus 12y ago
    People on the internet are easily distracted and have short attention spans. You want them to get interested enough to actually run your demo. I'm not going to take 10 minutes to delve deeper unless you hook me to begin with. Also, you don't need to have text that appeals to everyone (there is no "average" user), but you should be able to write text that appeals to at least one of your groups (individuals, developers, enterprise). The two sentences you have currently are so generic that they don't say anything at all. An open source platform? An open source platform that does what? Target the group with your messaging that you are targeting with your platform. Sure, sandstorm could be used by any of them, but which group is MOST important to your platform?
    - kentonv 12y ago
      I've added a brief subtext based in part on your suggestions. Let me know what you think.
      - themoonbus 12y ago
        Looks good! I would think about replacing your main tagline with that sentence, or something like it. Not to be overly harsh, but your main tagline doesn't say anything. Edit: Actually, I think if you said something like "Sandstorm is an open source app platform for personal servers" that would be a major improvement. The whole "app" part is missing from the main tagline. Then, your sub-tagline goes into more detail about what apps. Edit 2: Actually, I would remove the open source part altogether. It's redundant if you have a github link somewhere on your page, which you do, and I think the developer community you are targeting would assume that it's open source. Or, just keep "open".
        kentonv 12y ago
CalRobert 12y ago
It's better because the internet was supposed to be a bunch of computers talking to each other. It was a beautiful vision. Instead, it's been centralized on two levels: FB/Google/Instagram etc. serving content, and AWS/DigitalOcean owning the hardware for those intrepid individuals who want to roll their own solutions. The internet wasn't supposed to be Amazon, Google, and Facebook all talking to each other. It's scary that ISP's don't even want you to host your own (modest) server. It's SUPPOSED to be a bunch of computers networked together! Sandstorm makes it easier to live that vision where you own the hardware, or at LEAST have full control over your cloud. It doesn't necessarily need to be your home computer - a colo'ed odroid (or RPi if your needs are modest) would do the trick too. As more and more of the internet is gobbled up by VPS services I think it's important that the average Jane or Joe can still put together their own website, blog, game server, etc. and not be reliant on a company for it.
- apenguin 12y ago
  Unfortunately, I don't see how this solves the problem. The main problem for me is this part of my ISP's ToS: "Users may not run any type of server on the system." Further, every ISP I've ever had has had some such clause. I'd have to get a business plan to actually be allowed to run a server. So who is this, or any home server software, even for? (Or at least, who in the US)
  - kentonv 12y ago
    Sandstorm is not necessarily about running the server at home (though you can). It's more about being able to choose what is on your server and control how your data is stored and accessed, whether on a home machine or running in a datacenter.
    - ausjke 12y ago
      I think I can use apt-get/rpm/etc to control what's on my server already these days?
      - 12y ago

coldpie 12y ago

Good ideas, but make sure you hire a copy editor! "Let's" is short for "let us", like "let's go to the store." "Lets" is a conjugation of "to let" (i.e. to enable) like "Sandstorm lets you do XYZ."

themoonbus 12y ago
Oops, fixed. Yes, don't take copy directly from a hastily written Hacker News post :)

sinatra 12y ago

Great suggestions! I'd say "Sandstorm lets you install server apps as easily as you install mobile apps!"

themoonbus 12y ago
Yes, I definitely think something along those lines, especially if you're targeting a group of people who are somewhat tech savvy, but not tech savvy enough to run their own server.
taivare 12y ago
and for the ad campaign.." your Server will be with you "

resu 12y ago

If anything, the call for action ("Try the demo" button) should be made MUCH more noticeable. I was thinking the same thoughts as you because who wants to try the half-assed barely functional demos that most sites put up? Well, I decided to give the demo a try anyway, and damn am I impressed. Almost didn't click it though. So hey, make it pop!