6 ms·

Not surprised that it works, it looks like something fun to do on both sides. In fact, i believe people who love romance would sign up for a free service like t

by return0 12y ago

Not surprised that it works, it looks like something fun to do on both sides. In fact, i believe people who love romance would sign up for a free service like this on both ends. (Since their niche is people who dont want to have the actual relationships, they could easily pair up their users with each other as pure conversation partners). The sad thing is the reason that this app exists. Has it become so taboo to be single that you have to pay to hide it?

dreamweapon 12y ago
Has it become so taboo to be single that you have to pay to hide it? Apparently yes, sadly. Even so, I can't imagine this app could possible be worth the time (let alone the cost). Especially when simply lying to people (who aren't close friends anyway), as needed -- or in the case of a good chunk of my direct family, explicitly firewalling ("Look, over the years I've been having various relationships with various people. If any of them become important enough for you to know about, I'll let you know, eventually") to be easy enough, and to work perfectly fine for all concerned. The bottom line is that intimacy is a gift, and at no point are you obligated to provide it to anyone you don't really consider to be that important in your life -- or in situations that make you uncomfortable.
- tinkerrr 12y ago
  > Even so, I can't imagine this app could possible be worth the time I think that's why the founder is talking of expanding the service already, such as getting flowers on Valentine's, say. It might provide social worth to some, who see this extravaganza displayed on every other desk at their work.
  - Vaskivo 12y ago
    I can see this evolving from "let others think I have a boyfriend" to "I'm going to feel like I have a boyfriend". People already pay for sex. People already pay for non-sexual escorts (which i believe is mostly for show-off[0]). I can totally see people paying for the "boyfriend experience". Some random texts, gifts in specific days. A compliment and a "how's your day". All in pure 21st century fashion - social-media centered. It's depressing but I can imagine a lot of people that, while having lots of friends, are emotionally lonely. Why not generate custom made, fully interactive, multi-media waifus[1] [0] I think it affirms a man's power if he shows up with a pretty lady. [1] http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/waifu http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/waifu
    - rokhayakebe 12y ago
      I can imagine a lot of people that, while having lots of friends, are emotionally lonely. "Indeed, being alone is no requisite for being lonely; for many live in the middle of strangers, yet they do not feel safe and loved."
ctdonath 12y ago
The really sad thing is that by using something (like this) to veil singleness, one cuts off any genuine interest from a genuine person. Few will initiate a date with someone texting their (unbenownst virtual) "significant other".
- iopq 12y ago
  She doesn't want the unattractive guys to hit on her, so she texts her fake significant other. The fantasy of an attractive guy being her boyfriend is better than a real boyfriend being just a regular guy.
  - pavel_lishin 12y ago
    Or maybe it's just a polite way of turning down a guy you're not interested in. Maybe having that instant out is more convenient than having to fight off advances for an hour.
    - SCHiM 12y ago
      What exactly is polite about lying? It seems like an easy way out instead of the right way out: just telling somebody you're not interested.
      - pavel_lishin 12y ago
        Some people don't take like to take no for an answer. Some people will continue to engage, despite a woman making it clear that they are not interested; some of those people, however, respect other men enough that they will disengage when they find out a woman is "taken". And as for the politeness of lying, consider "white lies". Sometimes honesty, even non-brutal honesty, is not the polite option.
      - tedks 12y ago
        This is a very good example of male privilege. What comes to mind as the first thing that would happen as a result of this? Most women are smaller than the men that hit on them, and are constantly told they need to be vigilant against assault (this is a consequence of victim-blaming, which is wrongheaded, but nonetheless psychologically influencial). A woman saying "I'm not interested" is directly rejecting the man hitting on them, and only for her own reasons. I know people who have been slapped because they rejected someone openly. In a situation that wasn't a crowded environment (for example, if a woman is being harassed on a street) things could easily go worse. On the other hand, if the woman says "Sorry, I have a boyfriend," the implication is that she would sleep with him, he's so attractive, but sorry, another man already owns her. Men respect men far more than they respect women. I am not a physically intimidating man, but I can defuse situations between aggressive men in clubs hitting on my women friends quite easily by claiming to be their boyfriend. This has nothing to do with politeness and, like many interactions between women and men, everything to do with survival.
lmm 12y ago
Years ago I worked in the messaging industry. We had an "adult chat" platform in the UK, and to our surprise a lot of the messages looked to be lonely people rather than after something sexual - even had one client wanting to use it in the US, where the phone networks only let you run "non-adult" services, but they reckoned there was enough of a market. (Don't remember what actually happened in the end.) The trouble is that you need human moderators to prevent trolling/harassment/etc. - and if you're going to pay humans to read every message, you may as well have them write them as well. > The sad thing is the reason that this app exists. Has it become so taboo to be single that you have to pay to hide it? Article mentions more traditional cultures, and semi-closeted gays. I think singledom is becoming much more acceptable to our generation than it ever was before - but it doesn't play so well with our parents.
vacri 12y ago
Has it become so taboo to be single that you have to pay to hide it? It is less taboo now than it has been for many generations (for anglos, at least). Being labelled a 'spinster' or a 'maiden aunt' was a stigma.

by return0 12y ago

dreamweapon 12y ago

Has it become so taboo to be single that you have to pay to hide it? Apparently yes, sadly. Even so, I can't imagine this app could possible be worth the time (let alone the cost). Especially when simply lying to people (who aren't close friends anyway), as needed -- or in the case of a good chunk of my direct family, explicitly firewalling ("Look, over the years I've been having various relationships with various people. If any of them become important enough for you to know about, I'll let you know, eventually") to be easy enough, and to work perfectly fine for all concerned. The bottom line is that intimacy is a gift, and at no point are you obligated to provide it to anyone you don't really consider to be that important in your life -- or in situations that make you uncomfortable.

tinkerrr 12y ago
> Even so, I can't imagine this app could possible be worth the time I think that's why the founder is talking of expanding the service already, such as getting flowers on Valentine's, say. It might provide social worth to some, who see this extravaganza displayed on every other desk at their work.
- Vaskivo 12y ago
  I can see this evolving from "let others think I have a boyfriend" to "I'm going to feel like I have a boyfriend". People already pay for sex. People already pay for non-sexual escorts (which i believe is mostly for show-off[0]). I can totally see people paying for the "boyfriend experience". Some random texts, gifts in specific days. A compliment and a "how's your day". All in pure 21st century fashion - social-media centered. It's depressing but I can imagine a lot of people that, while having lots of friends, are emotionally lonely. Why not generate custom made, fully interactive, multi-media waifus[1] [0] I think it affirms a man's power if he shows up with a pretty lady. [1] http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/waifu http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/waifu
  - rokhayakebe 12y ago
    I can imagine a lot of people that, while having lots of friends, are emotionally lonely. "Indeed, being alone is no requisite for being lonely; for many live in the middle of strangers, yet they do not feel safe and loved."

ctdonath 12y ago

The really sad thing is that by using something (like this) to veil singleness, one cuts off any genuine interest from a genuine person. Few will initiate a date with someone texting their (unbenownst virtual) "significant other".

iopq 12y ago
She doesn't want the unattractive guys to hit on her, so she texts her fake significant other. The fantasy of an attractive guy being her boyfriend is better than a real boyfriend being just a regular guy.
- pavel_lishin 12y ago
  Or maybe it's just a polite way of turning down a guy you're not interested in. Maybe having that instant out is more convenient than having to fight off advances for an hour.
  - SCHiM 12y ago
    What exactly is polite about lying? It seems like an easy way out instead of the right way out: just telling somebody you're not interested.
    - pavel_lishin 12y ago
      Some people don't take like to take no for an answer. Some people will continue to engage, despite a woman making it clear that they are not interested; some of those people, however, respect other men enough that they will disengage when they find out a woman is "taken". And as for the politeness of lying, consider "white lies". Sometimes honesty, even non-brutal honesty, is not the polite option.
    - tedks 12y ago
      This is a very good example of male privilege. What comes to mind as the first thing that would happen as a result of this? Most women are smaller than the men that hit on them, and are constantly told they need to be vigilant against assault (this is a consequence of victim-blaming, which is wrongheaded, but nonetheless psychologically influencial). A woman saying "I'm not interested" is directly rejecting the man hitting on them, and only for her own reasons. I know people who have been slapped because they rejected someone openly. In a situation that wasn't a crowded environment (for example, if a woman is being harassed on a street) things could easily go worse. On the other hand, if the woman says "Sorry, I have a boyfriend," the implication is that she would sleep with him, he's so attractive, but sorry, another man already owns her. Men respect men far more than they respect women. I am not a physically intimidating man, but I can defuse situations between aggressive men in clubs hitting on my women friends quite easily by claiming to be their boyfriend. This has nothing to do with politeness and, like many interactions between women and men, everything to do with survival.

lmm 12y ago

Years ago I worked in the messaging industry. We had an "adult chat" platform in the UK, and to our surprise a lot of the messages looked to be lonely people rather than after something sexual - even had one client wanting to use it in the US, where the phone networks only let you run "non-adult" services, but they reckoned there was enough of a market. (Don't remember what actually happened in the end.) The trouble is that you need human moderators to prevent trolling/harassment/etc. - and if you're going to pay humans to read every message, you may as well have them write them as well. > The sad thing is the reason that this app exists. Has it become so taboo to be single that you have to pay to hide it? Article mentions more traditional cultures, and semi-closeted gays. I think singledom is becoming much more acceptable to our generation than it ever was before - but it doesn't play so well with our parents.

vacri 12y ago

Has it become so taboo to be single that you have to pay to hide it? It is less taboo now than it has been for many generations (for anglos, at least). Being labelled a 'spinster' or a 'maiden aunt' was a stigma.