4 ms·

She doesn't need an invisible boyfriend. She's testing it for the article. In one of her texts to "Ryan" she writes: "Ha, you're better than my real bf".

by werid 12y ago

Kurtz79 12y ago
It's sad there are people for which having an invisible boyfriend/girlfriend is an appealing idea (which is the entire premise of the service), regardless if it's the case with the writer of the article. "On its Web site, Invisible Boyfriend calls itself “believable social proof”: When your mom won’t stop asking you when you’re going to settle down, or your weird male acquaintance keeps hitting on you, you can just whip out your phone and show them evidence that you’re not an unlovable loser, thank you very much. Homann says the service has also seen a surge in interest from people in conservative countries, particularly in South America and Europe, where the stigmas against being single or LGBT remain pretty strong." I find the whole premise depressing. Be proud of what you are or, if you are unhappy with your situation, take meaningful action to address the problem.
- Spearchucker 12y ago
  It's also sad that people are saddened by others not like them. The world would be a lot nicer if we accepted, instead of being saddened.
  - philh 12y ago
    I may be projecting, but I don't interpret Kurtz as saying it's sad that people want an invisible boyfriend. More that it's sad that people feel pressured to have some sort of boyfriend, and get an invisible one to relieve that. If someone genuinely thinks "actually, an invisible boyfriend would be better than a real one for me", then great, more power to them. But if someone's getting an invisible boyfriend because they can't get a real one, or because their parents are pressuring them, or because they don't want to come out as a lesbian. It's good that invisible boyfriends exist for these people¹, but it's sad that they need to exist. ¹This is debatable in the long run and the big picture. But here and now, it removes a little pain from the world.
  - Kurtz79 12y ago
    "Being sad" means exactly that, and does not imply having disdain, disrespect or not accepting someone. I'm just saying that whatever problems these persons have with their lives, I cannot see how this service can be of help in any way. If anything, the problem is with society and social pressure: by conforming to it, and not fight it, you'll end up exacerbating the cause of the problem.
    - aidenn0 12y ago
      Yes, it will absolutely help the individual while doing nothing to solve the problem (and arguably perpetuating it). I had a teacher in high-school who was black, and in the first integrated class at a formerly all white school. He said his parents made him do it, he hated it, and he got less of an education than had he been at an all black school because of the controversy surrounding the situation. Clearly, while it's a good thing in the long-run that the schools were integrated, there is a price to pay for those who take part in the transition.
unlogic 12y ago
I wonder how OK it is in their relationship to say things like that. That's obviously a joke, but it still comes quite bitter when such phrases are then revealed to general public.
- noir_lord 12y ago
  No it doesn't, it comes across as a light hearted joke. Context is important as is apparently a thicker skin.
  - pbhjpbhj 12y ago
    As the aphorism goes 'many a true word was said in jest' [must be from Shakespeare, surely?].
    - cturner 12y ago
      It's a good point, but Chaucer's words. Also - don't call me surely.
      - pbhjpbhj 12y ago
        Thanks Shirley! ;0)
  - drzaiusapelord 12y ago
    Well, imagine if the gender roles were reversed then. "Haha, you're so much better/funnier/sexier than my gf" would be a disaster to a woman, especially if I spent my day flirting with this fake girl. The hypothetical real girlfriend taking offense at this is 100% understandable. Go ahead and post to /r/askwomen if they think it would be hilarious if their boyfriends and husbands flirted with a fake woman 24/7 and compared her to them. I suspect you won't be getting this libertine and ultra-thick skinned response out of them. To a guy on the receiving end, its "buck up, pussy" which seems unfair. Men's feelings deserve validation too. Shamefully, the gender dual standard continues even to the younger ultra-liberal crowd who dominate HN.

She doesn't need an invisible boyfriend. She's testing it for the article. In one of her texts to "Ryan" she writes: "Ha, you're better than my real bf".

by werid 12y ago

She doesn't need an invisible boyfriend. She's testing it for the article. In one of her texts to "Ryan" she writes: "Ha, you're better than my real bf".

Kurtz79 12y ago

It's sad there are people for which having an invisible boyfriend/girlfriend is an appealing idea (which is the entire premise of the service), regardless if it's the case with the writer of the article. "On its Web site, Invisible Boyfriend calls itself “believable social proof”: When your mom won’t stop asking you when you’re going to settle down, or your weird male acquaintance keeps hitting on you, you can just whip out your phone and show them evidence that you’re not an unlovable loser, thank you very much. Homann says the service has also seen a surge in interest from people in conservative countries, particularly in South America and Europe, where the stigmas against being single or LGBT remain pretty strong." I find the whole premise depressing. Be proud of what you are or, if you are unhappy with your situation, take meaningful action to address the problem.

Spearchucker 12y ago
It's also sad that people are saddened by others not like them. The world would be a lot nicer if we accepted, instead of being saddened.
- philh 12y ago
  I may be projecting, but I don't interpret Kurtz as saying it's sad that people want an invisible boyfriend. More that it's sad that people feel pressured to have some sort of boyfriend, and get an invisible one to relieve that. If someone genuinely thinks "actually, an invisible boyfriend would be better than a real one for me", then great, more power to them. But if someone's getting an invisible boyfriend because they can't get a real one, or because their parents are pressuring them, or because they don't want to come out as a lesbian. It's good that invisible boyfriends exist for these people¹, but it's sad that they need to exist. ¹This is debatable in the long run and the big picture. But here and now, it removes a little pain from the world.
- Kurtz79 12y ago
  "Being sad" means exactly that, and does not imply having disdain, disrespect or not accepting someone. I'm just saying that whatever problems these persons have with their lives, I cannot see how this service can be of help in any way. If anything, the problem is with society and social pressure: by conforming to it, and not fight it, you'll end up exacerbating the cause of the problem.
  - aidenn0 12y ago
    Yes, it will absolutely help the individual while doing nothing to solve the problem (and arguably perpetuating it). I had a teacher in high-school who was black, and in the first integrated class at a formerly all white school. He said his parents made him do it, he hated it, and he got less of an education than had he been at an all black school because of the controversy surrounding the situation. Clearly, while it's a good thing in the long-run that the schools were integrated, there is a price to pay for those who take part in the transition.

unlogic 12y ago

I wonder how OK it is in their relationship to say things like that. That's obviously a joke, but it still comes quite bitter when such phrases are then revealed to general public.

noir_lord 12y ago
No it doesn't, it comes across as a light hearted joke. Context is important as is apparently a thicker skin.
- pbhjpbhj 12y ago
  As the aphorism goes 'many a true word was said in jest' [must be from Shakespeare, surely?].
  - cturner 12y ago
    It's a good point, but Chaucer's words. Also - don't call me surely.
    - pbhjpbhj 12y ago
      Thanks Shirley! ;0)
- drzaiusapelord 12y ago
  Well, imagine if the gender roles were reversed then. "Haha, you're so much better/funnier/sexier than my gf" would be a disaster to a woman, especially if I spent my day flirting with this fake girl. The hypothetical real girlfriend taking offense at this is 100% understandable. Go ahead and post to /r/askwomen if they think it would be hilarious if their boyfriends and husbands flirted with a fake woman 24/7 and compared her to them. I suspect you won't be getting this libertine and ultra-thick skinned response out of them. To a guy on the receiving end, its "buck up, pussy" which seems unfair. Men's feelings deserve validation too. Shamefully, the gender dual standard continues even to the younger ultra-liberal crowd who dominate HN.