20 ms·

Being a good networker pays off, but it requires skill as well as shamelessness

214 points by RachelF 12y ago

msc96 12y ago
non-print link: http://www.economist.com/news/business/21639500-being-good-networker-pays-offbut-it-requires-skill-well-shamelessness-network-effect http://www.economist.com/news/business/21639500-being-good-n...
- phprocks 12y ago
  prefer printing articles by default, but thanks :)
- Aardwolf 12y ago
  The non-print is 10x slower to load, renders something you need to close in front of it first, and renders a lot of useless stuff around it. The print link, despite the inconvenience of having to close a print dialog, is SOOOOO much better. Why aren't all websites like that? As a bonus, it works on mobile too, since it's only what is needed and wraps at the side of the screen: the text.
cek 12y ago
The first rule of building your network is: build your network. A professional network does not happen spontaneously or by accident.
- mcguire 12y ago
  The network is a valuable asset itself.
rattray 12y ago
"Shameless" really does seem to me the best word to describe the most important aspect of networking. Or at least, the hardest part - once you've read How to Win Friends and Influence People, it's still really tough to approach strangers or ask acquaintances for introductions. Carnegie doesn't teach you how to get over that. The only thing I can think of that might is Theater; acting or improv classes. But I'd be very curious to hear how others have overcome social inhibitions and learned to go for it.
- majormajor 12y ago
  Acting and improv classes can help—you have to talk to people to do it—but it can also be a bit different. In both of those you're in a pretty specific role (even improv has a lot of training wheels at the start) and there are common forms; getting comfortable making crazy stuff up on stage in front of a bunch of strangers is still a bit different than selling to strangers in a professional or social capacity. The big thing you need to do—not care if you end up making yourself look stupid—is the same, but the contexts are different enough that to me they're pretty separate. So for me it is just forcing myself to be social. Repeatedly. Still! It won't happen overnight, but after a while you hopefully will notice changes.
- hkmurakami 12y ago
  While I still feel this exact kind of "making the approach" inhibition from time to time, I think the way I've gotten over it is to build up a history of cases where I just sucked it up and did it and was able to look back and realize that hey, it wasn't so bad! Oh, going with a friend really really really helps too! One of you makes the approach but just having the friendly face to fall back will enable a soft landing. That being said, starting out in less challenging settings is definitely the way to go (ex: if you don't like loud bars, don't practice getting better at approaching at loud bars! Try programming meetups or interest meetups where the ambiance is more natural to you are likely to have things in common with the people there). The emotional side of the equation is to have a history of success that you can draw on for courage. The rational side is to know and repeat to yourself that it's a numbers game just like dating. At "networking" type of settings, I personally expect to meet one interesting person with whom I'll have a sustained relationship with every 2 hours. There will be many friendly people along the way where we will mutually forget each other after 2 days, and that's just the way it is.
  - shutupalready 12y ago
    > going with a friend really really really helps too My experience has been exactly the opposite. It is much better to not have a friend with you. Whether at a computer conference, backpacking through Europe, or trying to meet the opposite sex, starting alone has always been better for me. Typical problems that comes up if you're with a friend: - You're more likely to sit there talking only to your friend. This is the biggest problem. - If you're brushed off by whoever you meet, it feels awkward to return to your friend, explain what happened, and try to resume your earlier conversation. - If the person you meet suggests going for coffee or you get involved in long conversation, what do you do about your friend. Ignore him? Tell him to wait? Ask him to join you even if he's not interested in the person you met or topic you're discussing? You can end up looking rude in so many ways. - If you're with a friend, you yourself become less approachable by others. I agree with the rest of what you said, but it's funny that the "friend" part is 100% different for me.
hkmurakami 12y ago
The title makes this seem very sinister, but having read through it, I actually think that a lot of these "skills" are basic conversation skills that can be used in non-networking settings as well. Personally, I've used them at holiday parties to engage in civil conversation with other guests, or even young children guests.
isilya 12y ago
This is so disgusting. A phony and a fake. I understand that it is how the world works, but still, awful. Are not the connections built in this way fragile?
- hkmurakami 12y ago
  I actually think that the "intent" is what makes is phony and fake, not the skills or techniques employed. I think I use some of these techniques (or "rules of thumbs for conversation" -- albiet not as extreme) with some people I'm friendly with because I genuinely want them to enjoy the conversation and our time together. I sincerely do not want or expect any favors or benefits from them. If we're in a setting that begets conversation and I know that we don't have tooo much in common, I'm going to go out of my way to make the conversation enjoyable for them, because their enjoyment of the conversation will make the conversation enjoyable for me as well. The alternative is often either side taking turns about subjects that the other person has no interest in, and those conversations don't do any good for either person.
  - Hoffmannnn 12y ago
    The two aren't mutually exclusive. You can be genuinely interested in what somebody has to say, and still plan to use them later. Don't kid yourself into thinking they wouldn't do the same for you -- instead, think of it as a mutual agreement to provide services to each other when needed.
    - ZoF 12y ago
      More like a mutual agreement to request services from each other when they are required. E.g. to ask you if you want a particular contract (when it needs to be fulfilled regardless). Not to 'come up' with a contract because your 'bro' is out of work.
  - mcguire 12y ago
    "The first principle for would-be networkers is to abandon all shame. Be flagrant in your pursuit of the powerful and the soon-to-be-powerful, and when you have their attention, praise them to the skies. Academic research has found that people’s susceptibility to flattery is without limit and beyond satire. In a study published in 1997, B.J. Fogg and Clifford Nass of Stanford University invited people to play a guessing game with a computer, which gave them various types of feedback as they played. Participants who received praise rated both the computer and themselves more highly than those who did not—even those who had been warned beforehand that the machine would compliment them regardless of how well they were doing. Yes, even blatantly insincere, computer-generated flattery works."
walterbell 12y ago
If you volunteer to help organize a large event, one side effect is that you will talk to many strangers while sorting out logistical details. It removes pressure and provides your emotional brain with many data samples of successful interactions with strangers, which will come in useful in future approach situations.
lifeisstillgood 12y ago
I prefer to imagine I am a consultant for "figuring out the world". Often times I come across a problem inside an organisation and take it upon myself to dig down to the bottom and sort I out - happily introducing myself to HR or accounts or sales just following the trail. I seem to have no social blockers because I am working for the same company and therefore there is already a common aligned interest. For networking that crosses organisational boundaries it's harder - but I try to remember we all have an interest in a better world.
Animats 12y ago
This works a lot like the PUA ("pick-up artist") thing. The first book on that subject, Scoremanship, by Frank Gray (1969) was written by a salesman and follows the classic approaches from sales manuals.
ryanjshaw 12y ago
For me, a person who isn't a natural networker, this article seems to be missing a key element: what's the objective? Reading articles like these is like reading the underpants gnome plan in South Park: 1. Network 2. ??? 3. Profit Can somebody explain what step 2 is? For instance, I have a handful of very successful acquaintances. I always think there must be some way to leverage them, but I have no clue to what end. This is probably a really obvious and stupid question to most people, but completely eludes me.
- logicallee 12y ago
  >what's the objective? Just so you know, you don't actually need one. Friendships are their own reward.
  - louhike 12y ago
    I don't know if we can consider the persons of our network as friends. I think most of them are acquaintances.
    - CalRobert 12y ago
      There can be overlap! I work with nerds and tend to befriend nerds (though certainly not exclusively), so it's no surprise that sometimes the spheres overlap.
- raverbashing 12y ago
  Let's try to explain it. 2.1 They gain your trust 2.2 "Something" happens where they need a person (or, someone they know needs a person) they can trust and with your skills Like going from CV to face-to-face, or better, person you actually talked to and knows more or less what they're good at
- Toenex 12y ago
  I've always seen networking in relation to the saying 'Luck favours the prepared'. Networking is part of the prepared bit.
- 12y ago
marincounty 12y ago
Let's be honest; Most people network in order to gain something--period. That something is wealth(an individual who is wealthy can be financially wealthy, good genes--yes I will take that over money, or has something of value(teach me?) the Networker desires.) I have a sister who lived her life networking before it had a title. Yes, she is financially successful, but no one really likes her--that includes ex-husbands, "friends", and I think, her kids are losing respect every year they age? That's the networking I grew up with. This new type of networking--where the objective is finding friends; I think is wonderful. I just don't see it. The networking I see is still ugly, and so obvious. Good luck, I personally couldn't stomach it.
Fede_V 12y ago
Uhmm, while that article has some useful advice, some parts of it made me feel genuinely uncomfortable. For example: "Reward the self-styled “thought leaders” in each session by adding them to your Twitter “follow” list. " Really? Part of the reason I barely use linkedin anymore is because the essays/thinkpieces people post on that site are so incredibly self indulgent and empty of content. Everyone there is so transparently trying to emulate the style and content of a Thomas Friedman column, while painting themselves in an amazing light. It's reached the point where if an article has the word 'leadership' in the title, I assume it will be garbage. I actually despise the artificiality of networking so much I wrote my own tool to optimize it and automate it, and used it at a conference I helped organize: http://elifesciences.org/content/3/e02273 http://elifesciences.org/content/3/e02273
shenoyroopesh 12y ago
I think one important step is to genuinely care about people and what's happening in their lives and being in interested in just knowing them, whether or not they are useful to you immediately. Most good networkers I've seen are very much interested in people, whether or not they can be useful to them. They will speak to everyone in the social hierarchy, and remember important details about their lives. While this may not be "necessary" to gain some advantage from networking, I don't think you can do this long-term without just deriving pleasure out of just getting to know other human beings and learning from their experiences.
- GFischer 12y ago
  I agree that "good" (as in, succesful) networkers speak to everyone and remember little details about everyone. However, the best networker I know (we call him "el trepador", that would be "the climber") spends a disproportionate amount of time on his superiors. It's incredible the amount of time he spends networking or at social events, when he was at the company I work for he learned the President's and CEOs favourite sports and activities, organized an in-company tournament of the President's favourite sport, played golf with the CEO, played football (soccer) with his coworkers, organized outings, invited other CxOs to barbecues at his house.. he hardly had a night to himself. He also kept track of everyone he met at any kind of event. He was hired as a programmer, but he managed to avoid any kind of task that involved working in the backend and always maneuvered to work in client-facing or high profile tasks, his favourite trick was building a fancy (but simple) web interface on top of complicated backends (and getting designer time, which was key), which usually resulted on his getting most of the credit. He's now a CEO (at another company in the group of companies which he's buddies with the president), and he has no university degree and didn't spend any time studying - at the same time he was doing all that stuff, I was working towards an MBA and spent about as much time after work as he did, his time investment definitely paid off a lot better.
  - anon4 12y ago
    It's a bit sad how you often have to choose between actually making useful things and being paid a lot of money. I'd call him a douche, but this is a clear case of don't hate the player, hate the game.
gadders 12y ago
For a more humane take on networking, a good read is the "Working Out Loud" blog from John Stepper. You can find out more at http://johnstepper.com/working-out-loud-the-book/ http://johnstepper.com/working-out-loud-the-book/ or http://www.workingoutloud.com http://www.workingoutloud.com.
noipv4 12y ago
MBA approach to the workplace is what's wrong with the world IMO
DanielBMarkham 12y ago
Although successful networkers must be calculating, ruthless and shameless, they do better when they somehow make it all seem spontaneous, accidental even A couple of years back I was working with a guy who had grown a consulting shop into 70-80 folks. I was helping with sales into an existing client. The deal was I'd help do the sell and then I'd pick up a few months of work to add to my runway for my startup. We needed another consultant, so the main office sent us some candidates. The guy I was working with immediately picks the one with the most connections, even though his skills weren't a good match. When I mentioned this, he said "Yeah, but it's not important whether his skills match. We need his network." If you're looking to grow a business, it's all about finding people with good networks and mining their contacts. This guy continues to do very well in the business, and now he has a huge network, but there's always that slight feel of inauthenticity about him. It's nothing that anybody would point out, and it doesn't prevent him generating business. It's just there. Contrast this to me. I follow and try to be friends with people because, well, I like them. I like what they're doing and I want to hear more about what's happening in their lives. My network is not very huge, but my goal is to get to know folks and have them get to know me, so it can never be that huge. I'm not saying my way is right and this other guy's is wrong, but I am much happier doing it my way than if I did things the way this other guy did. The minute I start feeling like I'm conniving? I'm doing something wrong.
- cylinder 12y ago
  Business is by nature inauthentic. None of us would be there doing the work if we didn't need to earn money to live. I'm really not sure why everyone expects authenticity, passion, etc in business and work. It's all a charade.
josefresco 12y ago
There's some good advice in this article, I do a fair amount of networking so consider myself somewhat of an expert in the field. I'm not comfortable networking, but it's required for my local market and B2B business model. "Be flagrant in your pursuit of the powerful and the soon-to-be-powerful, and when you have their attention, praise them to the skies." That's one strategy, there's also the "hard to get" strategy. Successful people get "sold to" and flattered all the time and are generally sick of it or at least aware. In my networking, sometimes I will specifically avoid the alpha of the room, and build contacts around them, possibly leading to a more qualified introduction. Found it works better than the direct approach "I'm a huge fan" tactic.
terrn 12y ago
"Be flagrant in your pursuit of the powerful and the soon-to-be-powerful, and when you have their attention, praise them to the skies." - Isn't this one of the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition?
tieTYT 12y ago
> The first principle for would-be networkers is to abandon all shame. Be flagrant in your pursuit of the powerful and the soon-to-be-powerful, and when you have their attention, praise them to the skies. I'm reading "How to win friends and influence people" right now. The author would disagree. He would recommend compliments, not flattery. Compliments are sincere, flattery is transparent brown-nosing that makes you lose credibility. I'm paraphrasing the book not giving my opinion: I have no idea what I'm doing. That said this is very relevant to me because I've recently quit working as a full time employee for 10 years and want to have a go at consulting for companies. I jumped in head first and it has not gone as smoothly as I would like. My biggest issue so far is I don't know where to go to network with the people that I should be talking to. I can go to free networking events with founders of companies, but all of them seem to be at the pre-funding stage and can only pay me in equity. I'm looking for people that can pay in cash. Any advice would be appreciated.
- shawn-butler 12y ago
  I read that same sentence "abandon all shame" and it is where I have had reservations and probably holding me back in making connections. I know I am busy and don't feel like I should be wasting other people's time with trivial pursuits when in reality they are probably thinking the same. I would take a engineer / scientific approach. Adopt one methodology at some events and use flattery / shamelessness at another. Compare results.

214 points by RachelF 12y ago

msc96 12y ago

non-print link: http://www.economist.com/news/business/21639500-being-good-networker-pays-offbut-it-requires-skill-well-shamelessness-network-effect http://www.economist.com/news/business/21639500-being-good-n...

phprocks 12y ago
prefer printing articles by default, but thanks :)
Aardwolf 12y ago
The non-print is 10x slower to load, renders something you need to close in front of it first, and renders a lot of useless stuff around it. The print link, despite the inconvenience of having to close a print dialog, is SOOOOO much better. Why aren't all websites like that? As a bonus, it works on mobile too, since it's only what is needed and wraps at the side of the screen: the text.

cek 12y ago

The first rule of building your network is: build your network. A professional network does not happen spontaneously or by accident.

mcguire 12y ago
The network is a valuable asset itself.

rattray 12y ago

"Shameless" really does seem to me the best word to describe the most important aspect of networking. Or at least, the hardest part - once you've read How to Win Friends and Influence People, it's still really tough to approach strangers or ask acquaintances for introductions. Carnegie doesn't teach you how to get over that. The only thing I can think of that might is Theater; acting or improv classes. But I'd be very curious to hear how others have overcome social inhibitions and learned to go for it.

majormajor 12y ago
Acting and improv classes can help—you have to talk to people to do it—but it can also be a bit different. In both of those you're in a pretty specific role (even improv has a lot of training wheels at the start) and there are common forms; getting comfortable making crazy stuff up on stage in front of a bunch of strangers is still a bit different than selling to strangers in a professional or social capacity. The big thing you need to do—not care if you end up making yourself look stupid—is the same, but the contexts are different enough that to me they're pretty separate. So for me it is just forcing myself to be social. Repeatedly. Still! It won't happen overnight, but after a while you hopefully will notice changes.
hkmurakami 12y ago
While I still feel this exact kind of "making the approach" inhibition from time to time, I think the way I've gotten over it is to build up a history of cases where I just sucked it up and did it and was able to look back and realize that hey, it wasn't so bad! Oh, going with a friend really really really helps too! One of you makes the approach but just having the friendly face to fall back will enable a soft landing. That being said, starting out in less challenging settings is definitely the way to go (ex: if you don't like loud bars, don't practice getting better at approaching at loud bars! Try programming meetups or interest meetups where the ambiance is more natural to you are likely to have things in common with the people there). The emotional side of the equation is to have a history of success that you can draw on for courage. The rational side is to know and repeat to yourself that it's a numbers game just like dating. At "networking" type of settings, I personally expect to meet one interesting person with whom I'll have a sustained relationship with every 2 hours. There will be many friendly people along the way where we will mutually forget each other after 2 days, and that's just the way it is.
- shutupalready 12y ago
  > going with a friend really really really helps too My experience has been exactly the opposite. It is much better to not have a friend with you. Whether at a computer conference, backpacking through Europe, or trying to meet the opposite sex, starting alone has always been better for me. Typical problems that comes up if you're with a friend: - You're more likely to sit there talking only to your friend. This is the biggest problem. - If you're brushed off by whoever you meet, it feels awkward to return to your friend, explain what happened, and try to resume your earlier conversation. - If the person you meet suggests going for coffee or you get involved in long conversation, what do you do about your friend. Ignore him? Tell him to wait? Ask him to join you even if he's not interested in the person you met or topic you're discussing? You can end up looking rude in so many ways. - If you're with a friend, you yourself become less approachable by others. I agree with the rest of what you said, but it's funny that the "friend" part is 100% different for me.

hkmurakami 12y ago

The title makes this seem very sinister, but having read through it, I actually think that a lot of these "skills" are basic conversation skills that can be used in non-networking settings as well. Personally, I've used them at holiday parties to engage in civil conversation with other guests, or even young children guests.

isilya 12y ago

This is so disgusting. A phony and a fake. I understand that it is how the world works, but still, awful. Are not the connections built in this way fragile?

hkmurakami 12y ago
I actually think that the "intent" is what makes is phony and fake, not the skills or techniques employed. I think I use some of these techniques (or "rules of thumbs for conversation" -- albiet not as extreme) with some people I'm friendly with because I genuinely want them to enjoy the conversation and our time together. I sincerely do not want or expect any favors or benefits from them. If we're in a setting that begets conversation and I know that we don't have tooo much in common, I'm going to go out of my way to make the conversation enjoyable for them, because their enjoyment of the conversation will make the conversation enjoyable for me as well. The alternative is often either side taking turns about subjects that the other person has no interest in, and those conversations don't do any good for either person.
- Hoffmannnn 12y ago
  The two aren't mutually exclusive. You can be genuinely interested in what somebody has to say, and still plan to use them later. Don't kid yourself into thinking they wouldn't do the same for you -- instead, think of it as a mutual agreement to provide services to each other when needed.
  - ZoF 12y ago
    More like a mutual agreement to request services from each other when they are required. E.g. to ask you if you want a particular contract (when it needs to be fulfilled regardless). Not to 'come up' with a contract because your 'bro' is out of work.
- mcguire 12y ago
  "The first principle for would-be networkers is to abandon all shame. Be flagrant in your pursuit of the powerful and the soon-to-be-powerful, and when you have their attention, praise them to the skies. Academic research has found that people’s susceptibility to flattery is without limit and beyond satire. In a study published in 1997, B.J. Fogg and Clifford Nass of Stanford University invited people to play a guessing game with a computer, which gave them various types of feedback as they played. Participants who received praise rated both the computer and themselves more highly than those who did not—even those who had been warned beforehand that the machine would compliment them regardless of how well they were doing. Yes, even blatantly insincere, computer-generated flattery works."

walterbell 12y ago

If you volunteer to help organize a large event, one side effect is that you will talk to many strangers while sorting out logistical details. It removes pressure and provides your emotional brain with many data samples of successful interactions with strangers, which will come in useful in future approach situations.

lifeisstillgood 12y ago

I prefer to imagine I am a consultant for "figuring out the world". Often times I come across a problem inside an organisation and take it upon myself to dig down to the bottom and sort I out - happily introducing myself to HR or accounts or sales just following the trail. I seem to have no social blockers because I am working for the same company and therefore there is already a common aligned interest. For networking that crosses organisational boundaries it's harder - but I try to remember we all have an interest in a better world.

Animats 12y ago

This works a lot like the PUA ("pick-up artist") thing. The first book on that subject, Scoremanship, by Frank Gray (1969) was written by a salesman and follows the classic approaches from sales manuals.

ryanjshaw 12y ago

For me, a person who isn't a natural networker, this article seems to be missing a key element: what's the objective? Reading articles like these is like reading the underpants gnome plan in South Park: 1. Network 2. ??? 3. Profit Can somebody explain what step 2 is? For instance, I have a handful of very successful acquaintances. I always think there must be some way to leverage them, but I have no clue to what end. This is probably a really obvious and stupid question to most people, but completely eludes me.

logicallee 12y ago
>what's the objective? Just so you know, you don't actually need one. Friendships are their own reward.
- louhike 12y ago
  I don't know if we can consider the persons of our network as friends. I think most of them are acquaintances.
  - CalRobert 12y ago
    There can be overlap! I work with nerds and tend to befriend nerds (though certainly not exclusively), so it's no surprise that sometimes the spheres overlap.
raverbashing 12y ago
Let's try to explain it. 2.1 They gain your trust 2.2 "Something" happens where they need a person (or, someone they know needs a person) they can trust and with your skills Like going from CV to face-to-face, or better, person you actually talked to and knows more or less what they're good at
Toenex 12y ago
I've always seen networking in relation to the saying 'Luck favours the prepared'. Networking is part of the prepared bit.
12y ago

marincounty 12y ago

Let's be honest; Most people network in order to gain something--period. That something is wealth(an individual who is wealthy can be financially wealthy, good genes--yes I will take that over money, or has something of value(teach me?) the Networker desires.) I have a sister who lived her life networking before it had a title. Yes, she is financially successful, but no one really likes her--that includes ex-husbands, "friends", and I think, her kids are losing respect every year they age? That's the networking I grew up with. This new type of networking--where the objective is finding friends; I think is wonderful. I just don't see it. The networking I see is still ugly, and so obvious. Good luck, I personally couldn't stomach it.

Fede_V 12y ago

Uhmm, while that article has some useful advice, some parts of it made me feel genuinely uncomfortable. For example: "Reward the self-styled “thought leaders” in each session by adding them to your Twitter “follow” list. " Really? Part of the reason I barely use linkedin anymore is because the essays/thinkpieces people post on that site are so incredibly self indulgent and empty of content. Everyone there is so transparently trying to emulate the style and content of a Thomas Friedman column, while painting themselves in an amazing light. It's reached the point where if an article has the word 'leadership' in the title, I assume it will be garbage. I actually despise the artificiality of networking so much I wrote my own tool to optimize it and automate it, and used it at a conference I helped organize: http://elifesciences.org/content/3/e02273 http://elifesciences.org/content/3/e02273

shenoyroopesh 12y ago

I think one important step is to genuinely care about people and what's happening in their lives and being in interested in just knowing them, whether or not they are useful to you immediately. Most good networkers I've seen are very much interested in people, whether or not they can be useful to them. They will speak to everyone in the social hierarchy, and remember important details about their lives. While this may not be "necessary" to gain some advantage from networking, I don't think you can do this long-term without just deriving pleasure out of just getting to know other human beings and learning from their experiences.

GFischer 12y ago
I agree that "good" (as in, succesful) networkers speak to everyone and remember little details about everyone. However, the best networker I know (we call him "el trepador", that would be "the climber") spends a disproportionate amount of time on his superiors. It's incredible the amount of time he spends networking or at social events, when he was at the company I work for he learned the President's and CEOs favourite sports and activities, organized an in-company tournament of the President's favourite sport, played golf with the CEO, played football (soccer) with his coworkers, organized outings, invited other CxOs to barbecues at his house.. he hardly had a night to himself. He also kept track of everyone he met at any kind of event. He was hired as a programmer, but he managed to avoid any kind of task that involved working in the backend and always maneuvered to work in client-facing or high profile tasks, his favourite trick was building a fancy (but simple) web interface on top of complicated backends (and getting designer time, which was key), which usually resulted on his getting most of the credit. He's now a CEO (at another company in the group of companies which he's buddies with the president), and he has no university degree and didn't spend any time studying - at the same time he was doing all that stuff, I was working towards an MBA and spent about as much time after work as he did, his time investment definitely paid off a lot better.
- anon4 12y ago
  It's a bit sad how you often have to choose between actually making useful things and being paid a lot of money. I'd call him a douche, but this is a clear case of don't hate the player, hate the game.

gadders 12y ago

For a more humane take on networking, a good read is the "Working Out Loud" blog from John Stepper. You can find out more at http://johnstepper.com/working-out-loud-the-book/ http://johnstepper.com/working-out-loud-the-book/ or http://www.workingoutloud.com http://www.workingoutloud.com.

noipv4 12y ago

MBA approach to the workplace is what's wrong with the world IMO

DanielBMarkham 12y ago

Although successful networkers must be calculating, ruthless and shameless, they do better when they somehow make it all seem spontaneous, accidental even A couple of years back I was working with a guy who had grown a consulting shop into 70-80 folks. I was helping with sales into an existing client. The deal was I'd help do the sell and then I'd pick up a few months of work to add to my runway for my startup. We needed another consultant, so the main office sent us some candidates. The guy I was working with immediately picks the one with the most connections, even though his skills weren't a good match. When I mentioned this, he said "Yeah, but it's not important whether his skills match. We need his network." If you're looking to grow a business, it's all about finding people with good networks and mining their contacts. This guy continues to do very well in the business, and now he has a huge network, but there's always that slight feel of inauthenticity about him. It's nothing that anybody would point out, and it doesn't prevent him generating business. It's just there. Contrast this to me. I follow and try to be friends with people because, well, I like them. I like what they're doing and I want to hear more about what's happening in their lives. My network is not very huge, but my goal is to get to know folks and have them get to know me, so it can never be that huge. I'm not saying my way is right and this other guy's is wrong, but I am much happier doing it my way than if I did things the way this other guy did. The minute I start feeling like I'm conniving? I'm doing something wrong.

cylinder 12y ago
Business is by nature inauthentic. None of us would be there doing the work if we didn't need to earn money to live. I'm really not sure why everyone expects authenticity, passion, etc in business and work. It's all a charade.

josefresco 12y ago

There's some good advice in this article, I do a fair amount of networking so consider myself somewhat of an expert in the field. I'm not comfortable networking, but it's required for my local market and B2B business model. "Be flagrant in your pursuit of the powerful and the soon-to-be-powerful, and when you have their attention, praise them to the skies." That's one strategy, there's also the "hard to get" strategy. Successful people get "sold to" and flattered all the time and are generally sick of it or at least aware. In my networking, sometimes I will specifically avoid the alpha of the room, and build contacts around them, possibly leading to a more qualified introduction. Found it works better than the direct approach "I'm a huge fan" tactic.

terrn 12y ago

"Be flagrant in your pursuit of the powerful and the soon-to-be-powerful, and when you have their attention, praise them to the skies." - Isn't this one of the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition?

tieTYT 12y ago

> The first principle for would-be networkers is to abandon all shame. Be flagrant in your pursuit of the powerful and the soon-to-be-powerful, and when you have their attention, praise them to the skies. I'm reading "How to win friends and influence people" right now. The author would disagree. He would recommend compliments, not flattery. Compliments are sincere, flattery is transparent brown-nosing that makes you lose credibility. I'm paraphrasing the book not giving my opinion: I have no idea what I'm doing. That said this is very relevant to me because I've recently quit working as a full time employee for 10 years and want to have a go at consulting for companies. I jumped in head first and it has not gone as smoothly as I would like. My biggest issue so far is I don't know where to go to network with the people that I should be talking to. I can go to free networking events with founders of companies, but all of them seem to be at the pre-funding stage and can only pay me in equity. I'm looking for people that can pay in cash. Any advice would be appreciated.

shawn-butler 12y ago
I read that same sentence "abandon all shame" and it is where I have had reservations and probably holding me back in making connections. I know I am busy and don't feel like I should be wasting other people's time with trivial pursuits when in reality they are probably thinking the same. I would take a engineer / scientific approach. Adopt one methodology at some events and use flattery / shamelessness at another. Compare results.