4 ms·
"As above, it’s easy to meet people through work or a common interest, but harder to meet random friendly strangers. Rarely in San Francisco has a kindness been
by zand 17y ago
"As above, it’s easy to meet people through work or a common interest, but harder to meet random friendly strangers. Rarely in San Francisco has a kindness been done to me by a stranger..."
This statement was demonstrated all too literally for me my first night out in SF as a proud, newly minted resident:
It was a Friday night out with co-workers at my new job, and I had a blast. Really felt like it was easy to click with people, and that they were all so much more interesting than the "d-bags" I'm used to pretending to get along with at bars. Then again, these were co-workers--all very talented in their own right--and probably not an accurate sample.
Contrast with what happened immediately following: on the way out of the bar, at around midnight (not too late), I was stopped and robbed by a gang. Mind you, this was a nice part of a "safe" neighborhood (Castro). Bad luck I guess, but the worst of it was trying to find a sympathetic soul to (at the very least) let me use a phone. As soon as it was apparent that I needed assistance, this well-dressed twentysomething became invisible. Even the cops couldn't have been less helpful, and thought it best to drop me off where it had happened.
In most other cities I've been to around the world, I can't imagine folks being so apathetic.
- jmtulloss 17y agoI feel that this is closely related to the homeless problem. I positively avoid most people who look like they want to approach me on the street because they are almost always homeless. If they can get the point across that they're not homeless or asking for money, I open up quite a bit, but since that's not usually the case, I can be as cold as the next guy.
- zand 17y agoYou make a valid point, which had occurred to me at the time, and after living here a bit longer I fully understand how easy (necessary?) it is to desensitize to those in need. But remember I was well-dressed, articulate and (mostly) sober. It all worked out in the end, just struck me as a bit disturbing: What if I'd been physically harmed? Would your average stranger be more or less likely to lend a hand?
- jlees 17y agoLiving somewhere else where it's quite common to have a homeless person come up to you on the street and ramble on with a muttered 'excuse me madam sorry to bother you but...' low monotone that almost exclusively leads up to 'give me money' - yes. You learn what to say to instantly tell people you're not one of them. And it does lead to a general avoidance of other people on the street. Having said that, I'd like to think that if someone genuinely needed help it would be a little more obvious and they would get it...
- natemartin 17y agoSorry to hear about the apathy of the people around you when you got robbed. Unfortunately, I think this is more of a problem with our society in general, rather than this city in particular.... people are scared to get involved, and especially scared of gang members. I saw a similar incident in Noe Valley, 8:30PM, people everywhere. Someone ran past me chasing someone and yelling "Call the Police!." I ran after them, calling on my cell phone. (Unfortunately it wasn't until it was after I started running that he added "He f-ing pulled a gun on me!") We ended up making a statement to the police, and IDing them, and they got the assholes. The crappy thing is, at least 15 other people were standing around at the time, and no one else responded but me. It is shitty, but I don't know if it would be different in any other city.