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Another article linked at the end of this one mentions a bit more. It says the unknown son was conceived before the writer's mother and father got together and

Another article linked at the end of this one mentions a bit more. It says the unknown son was conceived before the writer's mother and father got together and that part of the upset of the family was that the father wished to connect with this new-found son against the wishes of other family members.

Sanddancer 12y ago
Thanks for pointing that out. How that was laid out makes me rather frustrated at Vox because one would expect that the "full" article would be more detailed than a sidebar story in the much longer article about 23andme and the various ethical issues it creates for adopted people and adoptees. Instead, the linked article gives less of the story and the emotions surrounding it, leading more to confusion than anything else.
soperj 12y ago
I'm sorry, this is just insane then. Divorcing someone on the grounds that they had a child before you were ever together and didn't know about it? Sounds like bullshit. Sucks that this guy thinks he's responsible for breaking up his parents.
- voidlogic 12y ago
  >>Sucks that this guy thinks he's responsible for breaking up his parents. In this situation I can imagine talking to my father about it, but talking to everyone else in a family was a decision he made. I'm not passing judgment either way, but he wasn't like he was passive here.
  - soperj 12y ago
    It's definitely not his fault, nor the fault of the test in question. No one should entertain a divorce based on circumstances from decades ago, and before you were even together. His parents aren't divorced because of the unknown son, nor his fathers natural inclination to contact him.
- brazzy 12y ago
  If you think that's bullshit, you're not considering all the possible factor, or don't understand how a decades-old marriage works: through lots of compromises, that people sometimes feel unhappy about, but not enough to risk what they've gotten used to. So maybe the mother had felt (probably for years) that the father wasn't appreciating her enough. And now he's making more effort to connect with this unknown child than he's spent on his wife and other children in years... suddenly the pent-up dissatisfaction comes out into the open, grievances are aired and people say hurtful things that make reconciliation impossible...
  - seanmcdirmid 12y ago
    Or you know, it could have been a "final straw" type thing. Many marriages seem to be in fragile equilibrium.
- collyw 12y ago
  It doesn't actually make any implication that Tomas was conceived before they met. Maybe an affair early on in the relationship that the father managed to cover up.
imaginenore 12y ago
That doesn't make any sense. They are angry at the guy he had a child before they met, and he didn't even know he had a child. Sounds like they just wanted an excuse for a divorce. Or the story is bs.
- toyg 12y ago
  The other article mentions that this process "uncorked" years of "repressed" feelings. Divorce is often the end product of a long process; it looks like in this case, the genetic discovery was the last straw that broke the camel's back.
- nkozyra 12y ago
  Boy it's weird you should say this, because none of this story really rang true to me.

Sanddancer 12y ago

Thanks for pointing that out. How that was laid out makes me rather frustrated at Vox because one would expect that the "full" article would be more detailed than a sidebar story in the much longer article about 23andme and the various ethical issues it creates for adopted people and adoptees. Instead, the linked article gives less of the story and the emotions surrounding it, leading more to confusion than anything else.

soperj 12y ago

I'm sorry, this is just insane then. Divorcing someone on the grounds that they had a child before you were ever together and didn't know about it? Sounds like bullshit. Sucks that this guy thinks he's responsible for breaking up his parents.

voidlogic 12y ago
>>Sucks that this guy thinks he's responsible for breaking up his parents. In this situation I can imagine talking to my father about it, but talking to everyone else in a family was a decision he made. I'm not passing judgment either way, but he wasn't like he was passive here.
- soperj 12y ago
  It's definitely not his fault, nor the fault of the test in question. No one should entertain a divorce based on circumstances from decades ago, and before you were even together. His parents aren't divorced because of the unknown son, nor his fathers natural inclination to contact him.
brazzy 12y ago
If you think that's bullshit, you're not considering all the possible factor, or don't understand how a decades-old marriage works: through lots of compromises, that people sometimes feel unhappy about, but not enough to risk what they've gotten used to. So maybe the mother had felt (probably for years) that the father wasn't appreciating her enough. And now he's making more effort to connect with this unknown child than he's spent on his wife and other children in years... suddenly the pent-up dissatisfaction comes out into the open, grievances are aired and people say hurtful things that make reconciliation impossible...
- seanmcdirmid 12y ago
  Or you know, it could have been a "final straw" type thing. Many marriages seem to be in fragile equilibrium.
collyw 12y ago
It doesn't actually make any implication that Tomas was conceived before they met. Maybe an affair early on in the relationship that the father managed to cover up.

imaginenore 12y ago

That doesn't make any sense. They are angry at the guy he had a child before they met, and he didn't even know he had a child. Sounds like they just wanted an excuse for a divorce. Or the story is bs.

toyg 12y ago
The other article mentions that this process "uncorked" years of "repressed" feelings. Divorce is often the end product of a long process; it looks like in this case, the genetic discovery was the last straw that broke the camel's back.
nkozyra 12y ago
Boy it's weird you should say this, because none of this story really rang true to me.